Week 1 review

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Category: The Sentinel

Created: Tuesday, 27 August 2019 18:32

Published: Tuesday, 27 August 2019 18:32

Written by Patrick McGovern

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Welcome back TSL World! I must say opening weekend was a success complete with glorious weather, limited controversy and being reunited with our football friends we may or may not have seen all summer. Mind you there were some notable absences among the league resulting in 10 teams playing in double headers. Notably, A&A, Heather from PE, the females of Hofbrauhaus (Team Topper), pretty much all of D4, and Hung Buffalo. Nevertheless the teams in attendance came out to play, certain teams looking to already be in midseason form. Maybe the quick turnaround from the Spring session was an advantage to some. Let’s see what went down.

The DILFs, we learned, are a new, old team...if that makes sense. Basically they are a mix of players we all know and love. Already earning the nickname of ‘Dad Bod Squad’, this familiar cast of characters boast probably the highest average age of their male players (no I didn’t do the math so if you know of a team with oldest players let me know). We won’t discuss the ages of their females because well, I know better. Anywho- they played Energy Buff who had a slow start last session but ended up making it to the semis. Ben Stack was not in attendance so Erik Arden led his team. It was a close game with several lead changes. Johnny Dio was slinging for the DILFs after a several session hiatus. EB also had a new QB who could launch it to his speedy receivers. Tensions ran high as they tend to do in close games, but the DILFs pulled ahead and took the W, 27-18.

Bullet Club had a rough start to their season with a 20-61 loss to Peachy Platoon. BC was short on players as their story has gone so many times in the past. They had no answer for the speed and agility pretty much everyone on PP has. I’m not sure who was questioning the decision to move these guys up to D2 but this game showcased why it was the right one. BC is in a bit of a rebuilding year after losing in the championship game last session. The loss of Paul Nieman and Travis was a huge hit for them to take. They went on to play another recent addition to D2, Slytherin that End Zone. With Ricky at the helm, BC was able to take an early lead but after 2 picks in the second half, SITE fought  back to come within a score in the waning minutes. The game was almost in hand when Ricky picked off Newman in the end zone, but BC could not get a completion and were forced to punt. They held SITE until 6^th down when Jess Cunningham caught a TD to put her team on top. With seconds left in the game Ricky was able to get the ball passed midfield but could not connect with Gordon wide open in the end zone for the win. SITE won their D2 debut 32-26. They also had a double header last week. Second opponent, welcome back Peachy. Both of these teams have speed but PP proved they have just a little bit more. SITE lacked female speed to rush Dean so he was able to scramble around for countless seconds while his teammates got open. Kimmy of SITE got hurt during the game so they were down to 2 females. Newman looked to be close to midseason form, still riding the high of last year’s championship, but PP was too much of an offensive threat and took their second win of the day 43-30. Looking at the teams in D2, there aren’t many with the speed to match Peachy and I will definitely have my eye on this team as the season progresses.

No team wants to forget last session as much as the Ultimate Warriors. They tried pretty much everyone at QB but could not find that magic. This year they brought in Scott Pinto. On the other end of the spectrum, the Jabronies had an easy ride last session in D6, albeit they had the unfortunate luck of having the worst day possible to have a bad game which cost them the semifinals game. They beefed up their roster by adding the Kleckers to the mix and moved up to D3. In what was arguable the Game of the Day, both teams were back and forth. Sam threw TD after TD for her team, giving Jabronies some extra work to do. Joe Miano rose to the occasion and was able to fight back from being down late in the game. Both teams had things to prove, UW proved last session was a fluke and they are legit, Jabronies proving they can move up 3 divisions and continue to compete. A 49-49 tie was the best way for this game to end as both teams deserved the win.

Hofbrauhaus Buffalo took on new team We Back and did not give them a warm welcome. Maybe it was a bit of a rivalry to Topper as We Back is run by former teammate Sal. After courageously moving up to D1 last session, Topper and Co are back down in D2 and looking much happier already. All of his females were out of town so he brought in Tammy and Nicole Keller to fill the spots. We Back QB Chris (who Rameer has since dubbed Stranger Things, although I was getting more of a Brian Bosworth vibe) did what most new QBs do which is to try to go deep every play. Unfortunately for them, Pete and Drew were in attendance for HB rendering that play obsolete. We Back also used all subs with Molly and Erica stepping in for them. Topper was able to take what they gave him on defense and won the game 58-8. Don’t count We Back out yet though, so long as they can adjust their game plan to what works rather than what’s more entertaining.

Another new team I was able to see was Mountain Dew Me. It’s hard not to see them as they are the team wearing bright yellow. They also seem like they are going to fit in with us just fine. There were copious amounts of laughing and joking around during the game, even though they ultimately ended up losing. Full Throttle took the 28-14 win but MDM showed promise. They were able to put together a solid defense. Bridget at rusher gave the FT QB a run for his money. On offense, their guys are small and quick which can be used to their advantage once they get some plays worked out and they aren’t afraid to use the females, even when they don’t have to. Veteran move for a new team.

Overcompensators took a victory over Cobblestone 36-20. Daryl had a rough game, throwing at least 3 picks. He had Steph in as sub but hardly used her. His nephew’s frustration was palpable throughout the entire game. OC continue to improve on offense and defense. Their QB showed off some scrambling capabilities and play calling skills. They have solid females, height and some speed. D5 is no walk in the park but I wouldn’t be surprised to see this team as a top contender in 8 weeks time.

BiPolar Express took on new comers Blitzkrieg and came away with a 36-33 win. BE have added some new females to their roster which may be the help they needed. Kat from AWDIQ as well as Emily from Gryffindor have joined their ranks. Kat brings some much needed speed and used it to make big plays and gain long yardage for them. Being new to a league and playing a gender team right off the bat is not an ideal situation as the game is different in these situations but Blitzkrieg handled it as best they could and should fit in well.

TMA and the Graves Bros went at it with GB coming out on top 35-6. TMA added Steph to their ranks adding to their solid female core. Rumors are they will have a new QB as well that those of you at the win tournament got a sneak peek. For last week, Ferger remained throwing and less drunk than I hoped he’d be. The Graves Bros appear to be remnants of the old Cellino Sewer Rats, including Baby Gronk. Gronk rushed Ferger resulting a several sacks. TMA’s defense could not get a stop when they needed it most, letting up a deep TD on 3^rd and long after Prim went for the pick and missed. It was all downhill from there. They continue to lack the speed necessary to keep up with many of these teams and it showed in this game. Not to worry though, TMA was still present at the bar as per usual.

Public Enemy played a rare late game against Gryffindor in their D1 debut. Both teams were able to score on their first drives but PE went ahead after Joey threw a pick that they were able to convert into a TD. Gryffindor was not able to score following that and PE went up by 2 scores at the half. The game was well in hand by then and PE cruised into an easy victory 33-13. It was not the debut anyone had in mind for Gryffindor as they went on to lose to Tight Ends in Motion 35-0. Joey Batts and Jeremy Burr showed their ugly sides blaming the refs for their abysmal performance.

Other than that, the day was everything we could have hoped for. Yes, we were hoping Brian Ferger would have to be carried to his car again but that was not the case. Boccio still owes the league one sober day as per the Prize and Punishment Wheel last session. There are some new teams we have not yet met and plenty of new faces around to get to know. Overall opening weekend was a hit and I’m even more excited about the rest of the season now that it’s officially underway. Remember, I’ll be watching…

~ courtesy of...The Sentinel

Playoffs Round 1 Review

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Category: The Sentinel

Created: Wednesday, 26 June 2019 14:49

Published: Wednesday, 26 June 2019 14:49

Written by Patrick McGovern

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The first round of the playoffs have come and gone. Were there upsets? Oh my yes there were. Every hour of the day ended with at least one MAJOR elimination that no one saw coming. For some, the ending to their season was anticipated, for others it was a relief, while for a decent number the abrupt conclusion still has them shaking their heads wondering what went wrong. The day was beautiful so there could be no blaming the weather (save that excuse for the fall session). Nope, the teams moving on to next week earned their spots and if this past week taught us anything it’s that it is anyone’s game.

In Breakfast Club, the semifinal rounds resulted in Schilling Em Softly taking the win over EmC Hammertime, 47-37. Ricky Austin was back for his team but could not connect with his receivers when it counted. Drew tried to put the team on his back but came up short. Colorado Mike was clearly under-utilized and could have made all the difference if his talents were recognized sooner. SES continued their run-and-gun strategy. Award-winning Tommy Hughes was back in the lineup and helped Matty Ice run the offense. Employing simple slants, outs, and post routes, SES was able to march down the field and into the championship next week.

Over on Field 2, Bern Them All suffered a close defeat to Hot TaMolly’s, 33-34. Garrett and Travis both played well, but BTA took too long making adjustments on defense. Garrett was able to recognize and exploit mismatches resulting in Boccio and Josh scoring numerous TDs on post routes and gos down the sideline. HT used their females well to move the ball down the field. BTA could not find an answer for the deep balls and were unable to punch it in at the end of the game.

Also at 9am, Come From Behind and Pink Pteratacos battled it out for a spot in the R3 finals. Paul LoVullo was back in action after missing the majority of this session.  They appeared to have their main cast of characters but could not stop PP on defense. Joe played a great game and his receivers made some phenomenal catches. As sad as we are to see CFB knocked out, PP is a team that’s easy to root for. They will also be a team to contend with as they are finally coming together in the last couple weeks.

Marketing Mayors just barely missed having the bye this week despite the same record as Eyes Downtown. They lost the head-to-head match up, however, and had to play 1 Todd Too Many for their shot in the semis. Fortunately for MM, they had 1T2M outmatched and took the win, 31,16. 1T2M had all their weapons but MM was able to exploit the weaknesses. Mark Dalfanso and Topper had their pick of skilled receivers to choose from. Any other QB watching this game was salivating over both of their options. Drew and Pete played well but they could not keep up with Delecki, Andy Smith and even Corey Turner, who had some impressive looks of his own. There was no shortage of female talent either; 1T2M has 3 solid females who look right at home in C1. Topper clearly has complete faith his girls as he spread the ball out to each of them. Carissa was back for MM, giving them arguably the best female tandem in the league between her and Julie. Next week will be a huge day for MM as rumors are swirling Bobby McConnell will not be in attendance. Their chance to finally get a win over ED has never looked so good.

Bullet Club destroyed Money Ball in a game that was over by half time. Travis played exceptionally well and his females all had amazing games. Tommy Nodler had a big game as well, scoring TDs and adding a couple picks to his stats. MB tried 3 QBs throughout the course of the game but none of them could get the job done. They continued to try to go deep every play aside from the 2 yard dump passes to their females. Team turmoil appeared to occur early in the game. Tim Dove pulled Scotty Pinto after he refused to follow his play calling, putting Rick in at QB. Rick had some early trouble when he threw 2 picks after leading a touchdown drive. Talk on the sideline was that Rick is colorblind and couldn’t see the difference in shirt color between his teams’ pink and Nodler’s blue. Tough break Rick. Up next, Radon went in at QB. He also tried for the long ball right away. The game was well over by this point though, and Bullet Club moves on the semis following their 46-18 win.

In perhaps the biggest upset of the week, End Game was eliminated from playoffs by none other than Puckett All Stars, who won 35-16. PAS, who were 3-6 at season’s end, lost to EG earlier this session but as history has shown us, it’s tough to beat a team twice. This is certainly an upset but PAS is a talented team. They had attendance issues all session but unfortunately for EG, everyone was there when it mattered. I noticed some impressive play calling, particularly in the red zone. At QB for PAS, T.J Ferguson utilized all his receivers and their female players stepped up to the occasion. Perhaps the outcome of this game shouldn’t come as too much of a shock as PAS were tied in 17^th for one of the best offenses in the league. Granted EG was in 7^th (thank you Power Rankings). EG picked the wrong day to have a bad game. They struggled to move the ball and Dave tried to force it deep when he had the short play wide open. Not saying the loss was completely on Dave, defensively this team was the best in the league, allowing only 18 points a game on average. This week, there were too many miscommunications and PAS capitalized on them. Let’s see if they can ride their momentum into next week.

The TMA/pAssless Chaps game was another upset not many people would have bet on. TMA had everyone except Rob but could not get anything going on offense. They had 3 dropped passes in the end zone that would have been gender touchdowns. But the loss wasn’t exclusively due to what TMA failed to do. pAssless Chaps played an outstanding game. Coach Jay played inspired, picking apart the defense and calling plays to get his receivers where they needed to be. There was one guy on their team who played out of his mind, helping to carry his team to their 47-14 victory.

Slytherin that End Zone narrowly beat Morning Wood, 34-32 after double overtime. Newman was on point as he led his team to victory. Dawson had a great game, using his hands and blazing speed to keep his team in the game. Their girls have played well all season and Newman showed complete trust by firing the game-winning touchdown to Kelsey on 2^nd down. It should be noted that last week, Mo Saleh was overheard to say that MW was walking into the playoffs and going undefeated now that they had JJ back. Well Dave Wilbern and Mo were MIA this game. JJ did everything he could to put the team on his back, putting on a show with their QB but it clearly wasn’t enough. SITE took an early lead but then had trouble down the stretch. MW was able to tie it up but was stopped on the conversion that would have won them the game. SITE started with the ball in OT but could not punch it in. MW took over and they too could not finish. As per our OT rules, MW got the ball again and scored a guy TD but once again could not complete the conversion. That gave SITE the ball and, as mentioned, Kelsey came through huge for her team and they will advance to the semis.

Tight Ends in Motion knocked XTC out of the playoffs with a 36-28 win. This game was back and forth for the duration. Sooch played well but it was ultimately XTC’s defense that let them down. Seth was in at QB for Tight Ends but XTC played as if Alex was back behind the line. Defenders lost their receivers in the back field resulting in several deep catches. TE scored at least 4 deep tds, which leads me to wonder how the game would have played out if Alex had indeed been in attendance. 

GLBS (#2) was the favorite in their game against Indecent Exposure (#7) but as I’ve heard said, anything can happen any given Saturday. Glenn talked a big game about being 2-0 at QB for his team following the injury to Josh Hochadel, despite averaging a pick a game. Playoffs, however, are a different game. The windows get smaller, the defense gets tighter and the pressure increases tenfold. Glenn was feeling that pressure as he threw 4 interceptions and missed several open receivers. IE came to play on defense, making big plays when they needed to. Coming into playoffs as the 16^th worst defense in the league, they picked the right time to turn it up. While they were not scoring at will, they managed to put up 27 points and hold GLBS to 21, moving them on to the semis while GLBS will have all of August to think about what went wrong.

The Godfather predicted the outcome of the Energy Buff/Title Shot game based on who would show up for both teams. Well, EB was able to field pretty much all of their impressive roster. Unfortunately, for the 7^th week in a row, TS was unable to get their team to show up so they rolled with Dubey, Rogo, Garbacz, one other guy, Jill and Devon. EB’s biggest issue this session is their inability to utilize their female players. This week they were able to change that. Kate and Nicole had great games and these ladies could be a big threat if EB continues with the same strategy next week. As luck would have it, I heard rumors that EB will have attendance troubles once again next week with some players going away on vacation. While, to be completely honest, I wouldn’t bet on this team going all the way with all their players, it would have been interesting to see how they fared. 

Sadly, after a less than desirable session, this week saw the downfall of 3^rd & Schlong following a 46-16 loss to Peachy Platoon. The Keller’s, 40 Year Plan Guy and Co will hopefully be watching from the sideline after this spring session was not kind to them. They had a couple big wins but more memorable was the blowout loss to Frodo Swaggins the week prior. Scott Keller, Sr threw 3 picks during this game as well and his team was just did not match up on defense. Rumors were swirling at the after party that 3&S may be disbanding as certain members were scouting players for a new team. Peachy Platoon came to town and put an end to 3&S’s championship hopes and dreams. Their girls played phenomenal and their guys demonstrated unstoppable athleticism. Now I wonder if teams will finally make adjustments to combat Dean’s playing style. PP has beaten every team moving on to next week but as I’ve mentioned, beating a team twice is no easy feat.

Speaking of Frodo Swaggins, here’s another huge upset that probably could have been predicted but no one was betting on. During the session, Scotty D lived and died by the long ball but that came back to bite him this week. They were not able to move the ball down the field with the short passes and 2 picks in the second half turned the tide of the game. Sticky Bandits went back and forth with Frodo all game, making big defensive stops. They reached a new level once Dave Baker showed up at half time. Jeff Krol and Alex were not there in person as they were attending Raj’s wedding but thanks to Stoner Dave, they were able to watch and contribute to the game via FaceTime. SB moves on with the 45-30 win.

The final score may not reflect it but the Matty’s Angels vs Five Star Generals game was closer than you might have thought, at least at halftime. The Angels got off to a slow start with some uncharacteristic drops. FSG were playing tough defense but then Gronk started to talk shit and well, the rest is history. Matty Ice hit the accelerator with the help of Taylor Pagano balling out. If there’s one thing teams should know it’s that the best way for Matty Ice to go from having a bad game to a great game is by making him mad. Angels ran away with the W, 45-22.

Top 3 of the Week:

1. Puckett All Stars- most people would have counted them out so have to give it to them for pulling out the win and advancing to the semis

2. Pink Pteratacos- after a shaky end of the season, PP picked the right time to turn it around and move on to the next round

3. Bullet Club- despite attendance issues, they continue to win with whomever shows up and their strong female presence could steal them a win this week

That concludes the semi-final game reviews. The after party at Lockhouse Distillery was equally as exciting boasting a great turn out for a good cause. There was much intermingling resulting in the possibility of new teams consisting of some big name players. Plenty of alcohol was involved but every one stayed cool. A new league legend could have been born if he is able to live up to his own hype. Cole’s balls were brought up on more than one occasion. Overall our night away from the Rose Garden was a success; I wouldn’t be against regularly reconvening at other local watering holes. On to next week…If your team is still in the running congratulations and we wish you luck in the finals. If not, why not come by anyway to hang out and watch some football? I’ll be watching…

~ courtesy of...The Sentinel

The Final Wrap Up

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Category: The Sentinel

Created: Wednesday, 03 July 2019 13:12

Published: Wednesday, 03 July 2019 13:12

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 10235

Well the Spring 2019 season has come to an end. We had a great day for championship weekend and some new champions now roam among us. Aside from some shady activity with some teams, which I’m sure The Build will talk about, all things went swimmingly this Saturday and good times were had by all. I know our friend Lenny was watching from above and smiling down on another successful season in the greatest league around. Let’s talk about what went down.

In Breakfast Club, Schilling Em Softly took the victory and the championship over Hot TaMolly’s after the latter had a slow start. Throughout the game, emotions ran high due to numerous picks for both teams and some questioned calls. Garrett had a rough start but was able to connect with his receivers as the game went on. He continued to try for the deep ball but the defense of SES was on to their tricks and had 3 guys covering deep. Brandy had a huge game for them as well despite fracturing her finger in the second half. SES took the win and the champagne with a score of 24-13.

In C1, Eyes Downtown played Marketing Mayors for the semifinal match-up. I should say, 5 actual members of ED played as Jeff, Joey, Taylor, Beth and Joe were the only regular players from the team to show up against a full MM squad. As expected, the game was well over by half time. The quarterback ED brought in could not hit any of his receivers and when he did there were a lot of drops, particularly from the subs brought in the fill the vacant spots. The game ended early as there was no point in continuing and MM walked into the championship game with a 38-8 win.

Over on the other field, Public Enemy played a much closer game against Tight Ends in Motion. Alex started at QB for TE which had many people on the sidelines nervous. Seth showed up after the first drive which TE failed to score on. PE were not their usual offensive machine and were stopped multiple times. Cole was able to take what they were giving him and use the short passes across the middle. TEs had a lot of miscommunications on defense which let PE get an early lead. They did try to get fancy to end the half which ended with Cheryl throwing a pick. The girls of TE easily outran PE but it was not enough to get them the victory. PE moved on to meet a well rested MM after a 20-9 win.

In the championship, it was a much closer match up. PE and MM have some of the best play callers in the league so it’s always fun to see these teams go at it. Kevin Zack always does but he really put it all on the line for this game. Dalfanso was hitting all his targets and Corey Turner’s genius was put to work. PE continued their offense that had not failed thus far. They marched down the field, hitting Jon McGrath and Paul Johnson on the sidelines. Once again, the speed of MM’s girls gave PE trouble. Carissa, Molly and Jordan played excellent and some uncharacteristic drops on the part of PE cost them the game, the title and their streak.

In C2 Gryffindor had their way with Energy Buff, easily winning 35-8. Joey Batts was in form despite some miscommunications with brother Anthony. EB had no answer for the speed and play calling Gryffindor threw at them. Amanda Werth is quickly becoming a rise star of the league and showed some of her athleticism on multiple occasions in this game. There was some drama at the end of the half when Gryffindor used 2 time outs yet failed to punch it in for a TD. “Glasses” rushed on defense which drastically cut EB’s QBs vision down. EB was short as we suspected they would be but honestly, the end result would still have been the same.

Bullet Club took A&A out of the championship with a 36-32 win. A&A just could not get their chemistry following some dropped plays and missed routes. BC looked to be firing on all cylinders. Todd Hallas made some spectacular catches and Travis finally utilized Paul Neiman like he should have been all season. The score indicates this game was close but BC had a commanding lead and eased off the accelerator to conserve some energy for their next game.

In the champion game, Gryffindor’s female stole the show. Amanda, Jill and Emily (I believe that was her name) played lights out. BC could not find a way to stop them and continuously needed to adjust their defense to do so.  It was a back and forth game with both teams answering score for score. BC faltered first when they were unable to score in the second half, allowing Gryffindor to drive down and make it a 2 score game. On their next possession, a deep pass sailed and Burr picked it off. BC was able to battle back to make it a 7 point game with time winding down when a defensive breakdown led to a TD that put the final nail in the coffin for BC. Gryffindor took the championship 44-30. Rumor has it Burr started thinking up excuses why they can’t move up to C1 during half time.

In the R1 semifinals, All We Do Is Quinn pulled out a narrow victory over Sticky Bandits, 42-36. SB were missing Amy and Christine which hurt their game significantly. Mike Thomas played well but they were outmatched by a faster AWDIQ team. AWDIQ played like they wanted it more. They have the speed, they have the athletes and looking at this team, losing was not an option for them. They came out swinging and SB did not have an answer. Alex was on the sideline rooting for his team but his positive energy was not enough to bring them to the championship.

Slytherin that Endzone and Peachy Platoon in my opinion was one of the best games of the day. It was back and forth with each team trying to prove they deserved to be there. Neither team could be stopped on offense. Abby of STE did an amazing job rushing, keeping Dean in the pocket. The deciding factor in this game appeared to be experience, or lack thereof. PP did not know that the clock ran on conversions allowing STE to score with 1:15 remaining in the game, complete the conversion to go up by 1 and the game ended with PP still having all 3 of their timeouts remaining. You live and learn guys.

That left us with SITE vs AWDIQ in the R1 championship. Once again, it was an offensive battle as no team could get a stop on defense. It came down to the end, when Rawdog scored to bring his team within one score. However, due to a penalty on the play, Taverna decided to accept the penalty and try to score a gender TD instead as they lacked the confidence in themselves to stop STE. They were unsuccessful in this attempt, as STE played tight defense on the girls and the ball was knocked away, securing the victory for STE. It appeared there was some magic in the air as both Gryffindor and Slytherin went home with championship titles, but who won the House Cup?

Uncle Rico’s played a close game against Puckett All Stars in the R2 semifinals but came up short, losing 32-24. Tim had a couple errant passes he most likely would like to try again but what it came down to is that PAS have a very solid team that seemed to have hustled everyone this season. Their athletes showed up at the right time making them look like a formidable R1 team. Not to take anything away from UR who also have solid receivers, particularly in their female players. Jackee is always a consistent player and did not disappoint this week. Unfortunately they couldn’t get the stops they needed and PAS moved on the championship.

Buffalo Solar Solutions dominated Indecent Exposure, taking the win 46-23. IE had no answers defensively and Andy looked dialed in. They looked unorganized and made very avoidable mistakes that cost them more points than they could account for. BSS on the other hand was smooth sailing. Andy hit deep passes and utilized his females like so many veterans of this league do. IE’s QB needs to be more patient and allow plays to develop. BSS moved on to play PAS in the championship.

The R2 championship was much like the semifinal games in this division. Both teams were not afraid to let the ball fly and send their receivers up to go get it. TJ Ferguson showed what he can do when he has receivers he trusts. They utilized their height advantage and their females made some solid catches. BSS played a great game on offense. Dan continued to be open all.the.time. Defensively they struggled to make a stop and as the saying goes “Defense wins championships”. PAS walked away with a shiny new championship title, 47-36.

In R3, Matty’s Angels took on Pink Pteratacos and won a decisive victory 61-20. Their defense even looked good, complete with a couple picks and numerous stops. PPs had trouble adjusting on defense and Matty took advantage of the mismatches he saw. Mark and Co played a solid game overall but could not finish on multiple drives. Kelly Mazur had a great game and Lindsey was all over making catches. The game was called early after the Angels took another pick and wanted to rest for the championship.

The Cunning Stunts played Ugandian Warriors in a closer game but another that was over before the actual game ended. Blasé and Co continue to struggle against gender teams, although their females were able to match up with the ladies better than in years passed. Joey Batts’ new favorite receiver, Amanda Werth, was injured during the game but prior to that gave the UW fits all along the sidelines. Katie Keller continued to be a popular target as well and the Stunts marched over the championship field with a 44-29 win.

Prior to the semis, both gender teams met and did a collective “Who run the world?” cheer in order to show support for each other and give the people what they want, an all gender championship. Well at 3:00 that is exactly what we had. Both teams had their main roster with the exception of Budda for the Angels and the Clarks for the Stunts (Brandy was injured in the aforementioned BC game). The game started off slow for the Angels. They failed to score on their first drive, allowing the Stunts to march down and take an early lead. Then a series of drops put them behind even further. From the sidelines, it appeared several members of the Angels had a little too much to drink while waiting for this game. The Stunts, however, were rearing to go. Amanda returned, made the catch of the season and Kelly Liddle had huge targets as well. The Angels had their usual troubles on defense and the Stunts walked away with the win 50-26.

In R4, top seeded Jabronies fell to 5^th place pAssless Chaps led by Coach Jay, in a close game 27-25. The Jabronies were without some of their top receivers but had a solid sub for their missing female. Jeremy played a great game and looked stylish with his flower headband. Unfortunately they couldn’t find a way to score, which is a problem unfamiliar to this team. pAssless Chaps have had a roller coaster of a season, being on both ends of blow out wins and losses. Some teams would have felt discouraged starting the season 0-4 but Coach Jay and his squad preserved and shocked the world by taking the W to move on to the semis.

Earlier in the day BiPolar Express played the Bambs for the play-in game rescheduled from last week. Though I did not see the game, official word is that although BPE lost to the Bambs, the latter used an illegal player and therefore had to forfeit the win. BPE moved on to face Practice Squad in the semis. Practice Squad came out guns blazing. Renee played a great game and the QB looked dialed in. Practice Squad got off to an early lead and as a result of too many drops, BPE could not get enough drives going to make a comeback. The final was 36-16. The game was low key and there was plenty of light hearted joking going around while PS most likely anticipated their match-up with Jabronies.

Little did they know it would be pAssless Chaps waiting for them in the championship game. The teams were much more evenly matched in this one and the game was close. Unfortunately, Coach Jay’s magic could only take them so far and they could not generate enough offense to gain a lead on PS. PS continued to play the style game that has been working for them all season and it paid off big as they took home the R4 title with their 36-28 victory.

Top 3 of Championship week:

1.      Marketing Mayors- the team to break Public Enemy’s win streak and shut Cole and NAW Tommy Hughes up for a little while deserves to be #1

2.      Cunning Stunts- they straight up wanted it more and finally got their first win over the Angels (plus all the non-gender teams) at the right time

3.      pAssless Chaps- even though they didn’t end up winning they came back from a rough start to the season to prove to teams that it ain’t over til it’s over

And that brings us to the end of the season. I know I speak for the majority of us when I say I had a great time this season. As always, things were run incredibly well thanks to Topper, Rameer and all the others who contribute in big ways to the league. The bar was always a good time but after some drama to end the day stay tuned for possible after-the-games relocating next season. Take the next few weeks to enjoy the summer with family and friends. I have heard talks of some league-wide outings to keep in touch in the off season. Also bear in mind that this is a quick turnaround before the next season begins. Usually we started up for the Fall season end of August, early September but Topper, et al have made the executive decision to start earlier (August 17) so we don’t have to freeze our butts off in November. That being the case, it will be an even shorter break than before so if you want to make adjustments to your team, find a new one or get a new one together the time to start is yesterday. The wine tournament is a great place to try out new players and scope out talent but I’d suggest getting it settled before then. I’ll be watching…

~ courtesy of...The Sentinel

Week 8 Review

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Category: The Sentinel

Created: Wednesday, 19 June 2019 13:01

Published: Wednesday, 19 June 2019 13:01

Written by Patrick McGovern

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The final week of the regular season has come and gone. Some teams finished right where we thought they would (Public Enemy, Matty’s Angels); some are unexpectedly at the top of their division (GLBS, Slytherin that Endzone); some were a huge disappointment (Money Ball, Full Throttle). It turned out that some of the teams crying about moving up to the next division were right in doing so. For others, (ahem-Gryffindor-cough) they now look like huge assholes, especially when they talk shit during the games about how they’re so much better than their opponents. But I digress…Lenny Alba Appreciation Day was considered to be a huge success based on the reactions of those I spoke to throughout the day. Was it a little cold for ice cream? Maybe, but that didn’t stop us all from indulging on 1 or 4 novelty treats. The DJ was playing jams up at the bar. I even heard some people saying they got a dollar off on a drink once! Oh happy day! Speaking of happy days, not everyone was having the happiest of times on all the fields. Let’s take a look at what went down.

The Breakfast Club playoffs began this week with the bottom 4 teams fighting for a spot in the semi’s. Hot TaMolly’s beat Peanut Butter Kelly Time in a blowout game consisting of numerous picks and turnovers. PBKT looked ready to see this season come to an end as most everyone was moping around within the first 2 drives. HT were surprised to be in the position of having to play for a spot. They were overheard saying that they not only should have placed higher than 3^rd, but they “should have been undefeated”. Strong words, I look forward to seeing if they hold merit in the weeks to come.

EmC HammerTime beat Natural Born Kellers, ending Topper’s odd year BC Championship run. Ricky was MIA so once again non-award winning Tommy Hughes filled in for ECHT. This was a close game that could have gone either way. Katie Keller played her heart out for her team and JZ gave it his usual 110%. Unfortunately for them, Glenn Bird and Drew showed up big as well as the girls of ECHT. I did not envy Karl the ref in this one as it seemed like there was someone bitching about something after every play. It came down to the wire and ECHT was able to run down the clock and advance to the semi’s next week.

A&A had a chance for co-ed football immortality by beating Public Enemy and breaking their undefeated streak. I am equal parts disappointed and relieved this did not come to fruition as, on one hand, it would have given me a chuckle to see a C1 juggernaut lose their streak to a C2 team who claimed they did not have the talent to move up to C1. One the other hand, we all would have had to hear not only Matty Ice but also JZ talk nonstop about it afterwards. But alas, PE got an early lead after Matty threw a pick on 6^th down from the 10 yard line. The half ended with PE up by 3 scores. A&A was able to score coming out of the half but PE answered right back by a phenomenal catch by Greg Osika. As cool as that was, however, he totally ruined it by lateraling the ball right to Tony on the 1 yard line, which A&A obviously cashed in on. It was too little, too late though and PE took the win, 40-15.

All We Do Is Quinn played Slytherin That Endzone in a tight game that both teams were right in there for. AWDIQ has always been known to have speedy guys but the new faces on SITE have truly impressed this session. I saw Dawson make play after play gaining copious yards after the catch. Newman is thriving now that he has solid athletes to throw to, including Abby who has hands and speed. He was hurt during his BC game so it was probably in this team’s favor that he no longer has to throw at 9 as well. Vince Taverna is making his way up the QB Power Rankings thanks largely to his solid male and female receivers. Rawdog showed up big again in this game. The match came right down to the end but SITE was not able to punch it in for what would have been the game-winning TD and AWDIQ walked away with the win 33-30.

Frodo Swaggins demolished 3^rd & Schlong. I have no idea what happened to our perennial favorites but to say they struggled would be a huge understatement. Scott Keller Sr threw multiple picks early in the game. Katie Keller tried to motivate her team to press on but they could not recover from the early hole they put themselves in. QB Scott D on FS was connecting with all his receivers, especially Tammy, who caught her fair share of TDs. Nick Buzcek and Josh Schneider played great defense, contributing largely to their stats this week. FS came away with 74, yes I said 74, points over 3&S’s 19.

Buffalo Solar Solutions squeaked by Cobblestone, 20-14. Cobblestone did have Daryl in attendance and finally seemed to be firing on all cylinders. Daryl was connecting with his nephews and utilizing Steph who he brought in as a sub. BSS struggled offensively but I must say, #1 on this team is always open. Also noticeable on BSS was the girl in the black headband who has great hands especially on contested catches.

Hope N Ruin thought they had the game against Overcompensators in the bag. OC had other ideas though and made a drastic come back after some early-game errors. These teams are very similar to each other in that both teams struggled making stops on defense but were able to produce by keeping to simple offensive plays. The QB of OC spread the ball around to all his players and they squeaked by with the win, 47-46.

Eyes Downtown played Gryffindor as both of these teams were ranked second in their respective divisions. ED was missing just about everyone, most notably Bobby, Jeff, and Matty Mohr. Chadwick stepped in at QB to try to improve his personal record, albeit with a short cast of characters. His depleted offense had trouble running the routes according to his specifications which he was none too happy about. They also had some in-hand drops, very uncharacteristic of this team. On the other side of the ball, Joey Batts is finally looking like his old self. He took control of this game, utilizing the weapons he has. Matt played an outstanding game both offense and defensively. ED could not figure out how to defend the plays Joey called, resulting in Gryffindor taking the upset win, 27-13.

Marketing Mayors played Bullet Club in the first of the latter’s double header this week. BC was outmatched and got down early in the game. They were able to get within a couple scores as the game progressed but had too many drops and could not get a stop on defense. They refused to change from their usual cover 2 defense which clearly isn’t working as they are giving up an average of 32 points a game, allowing for the most points scored in the division (and C1 in case you were wondering). Molly Morgan had a great game for MM and Kevin could run circles around the defenders of BC without being tagged, resulting in a MM win, 52-41. 

Bullet Club played Gryffindor later in the day in a game who’s winner would take the 1^st place spot while the loser dropped down to 3^rd place and have to fight for their lives next week. BC struggled on offense due to high winds. They couldn’t get anything going and their usual strategy of going deep backfired completely. Joey Batts was able to capitalize on this and used his teams’ speed to take advantage of the short field. They repeatedly ran the same plays, stretching the field to get guys open either in the middle or on the sidelines behind the flats. Once again, BC had no answer on defense and lost 8-49.

Ugandan Warriors played Come From Behind, who finally looked to have a full team together, minus Paul. CFB’s stand-in QB has seemed to come into his own at the right time now that the playoffs are among us. Helping his success, Sean made some huge plays on offense. Uganda played a solid game but need to work on their red zone defense. They would also benefit from a coach to draw up their plays. Blasé seems to be trying but he doesn’t have the experience to orchestrate an entire offense as opposed to the one person he is intending to throw to. Their females continued to play well and could be the determining factor in some of these close games. CFB took the win 28-24, bumping them right behind Uganda in the rankings.

The Jabronies beat the pAssless Chaps 42-28. Joe Miano is continuing to impress at QB, putting up a commendable 319 points on the season. Jeremy also caught some attention this week after a pick that would have been a TD if he hadn’t stepped out for the gender TD. He showed some seriously unexpected speed after the catch. PC had too many drops, especially in the end zone. Anyone who has been around for even part of a session can tell you, 2 or 3 drops on a drive is not going to win you any games. Coach Jay seemed to be working out the playbook in what could only be described as this “rebuilding” year.

Two teams mentioned in my introduction played against each other this week. Unfortunately for the disappointing Full Throttle team, their opponent, GLBS, fell into the pleasantly surprised category. FT has struggled offensively all session, resulting in their last place finish and 1 win. Perhaps not surprising as most of their losses have not even been close games, FT played as if they were already defeated this whole game. GLBS was on the other side of my expectations, mainly because I wasn’t sure who this team was going into the session. Their season started out all over the place, losing to End Game, shutting out Uncle Rico’s then losing to Puckett All Stars. If you’d have told me then this team would finish 2^nd in the division, I’d have chuckled in your face. Josh played great for them until his season-ending injury. Glenn has stepped in at QB and quickly became a leader. With his leadership and defensive prowess, his team has the talent to make it far in this extremely competitive division. They marched over FT, 42,22.

Matty’s Angels held on to their undefeated record by beating Vandalay Industries, 52-43. Topper was off playing with his C1 team, so non-award winning Tommy Hughes filled in at QB. Clearly, the Angel’s continue to have difficulty on defense but they more than made up for it on offense. Even without subs, the Angels were able to outrun the defenders of VI. Tensions ran high by the end of the game as some players do not appreciate Matty Ice’s game time enthusiasm but if you go undefeated in a session, a little show boating is warranted. Looking at the rankings now, that win put the Angels in first place overall in the league, not that there’s a trophy for that…

TMA played BiPolar Express again, meaning BE was once again missing 3 of their usual females. TMA was without Ron for the second week in a row so Rich stepped up to try to fill his shoes and had a great game. TMA went with a 3 female offense to combat the scoring of a gender team. They gave them the short passes and did not allow for any long balls. This strategy seemed to work well and resulted in several turn over on downs or punts. Gordon went “red shirt” after Rameer slapped a ball out of Riley’s hand, preventing BE from getting a play off which would have resulted in an offense penalty on TMA. He did admit his infraction but still, for shame Rameer, for shame. TMA went on to win 12-9.

XTC pummeled a once again depleted Title Shot team, 37-8. Dubey was in attendance this time but played receiver. They also went iron man on defense again as they were missing just about everyone we have seen this session including award-winning Tommy Hughes and Devon. Nick Sooch played great for XTC. With the talent they have and a QB who knows how to use that talent to their advantage, it’s no surprise they ended up 4^th in C1 and could even pull off a playoff win.

Peachy Platoon went against Sticky Bandits and came away with a 30-14 win. Dean Thompson played the game he has played all session that no one seems to want to adjust to. Of all teams, I thought SB would have the smarts to have an answer for his play calling. The pitch play continued to gain them 10-15 yards at a time. Marissa showed off her talents, making great plays and sharp route running. SB was without QB Alex so Ricky Recckio went in to throw. He didn’t have the magic they needed on offense but made a couple big picks for his team. Both teams have tough draws in the first round of playoffs but have shown they have the moxy to get it done.

Eyes Downtown had another game later in the day against Tight Ends In Motion. They had much more success in this game as Bobby McConnell returned as well as Jeff Farr. Bobby also brought in a 3^rd girl to give Taylor and Beth a breather throughout the game. Rumors were swirling Chadwick was not present for the game as he was upset about the morning match up and left in a tizzy. ED looked much more like their usual selves with Bobby back calling the plays. TE had Seth throwing and Alex playing receiver. I, for one, thought this was a great idea as Seth is one of the top QBs available and if his attendance could be relied upon, there’s no way this man should be playing back up. The game seemed closer than it was and tensions ran high in this one as well due to some unnecessary roughness that went uncalled. To be fair, tensions always run high when these teams play each other so it was only a matter of time. ED held on to their 2^nd place spot and secured a first round bye with a 27-18 win.

Lastly, Ultimate Warriors finally got their first win of the session over Morning Wood, 20-16. The Warriors tried out Josh at QB who has looked to be their best option to date (albeit Sam got an unfair draw by having to play against Quinn in her starting QB debut). If anything, UWs should consider this a moral victory as it did not affect them in the standings but it saved them from being the only defeated team in the league. Morning Wood looked like a team ready for the summer to start. They would benefit from some throwing and catches practicing prior to next session.

So that concludes the regular season weekly reviews. Man did that go by fast. With playoffs looming, it is literally anyone’s game. There are even more questions than answers now than before the session began; Who will step up and be the hero? Who will implode and forever wonder what could have been? Will Public Enemy retain their streak and take another title? Will the Angels’ perfect session end with a title or disappointment? Who will try to use an illegal sub and face the wrath of Rameer? Will Joey Batts and Jeremy Burr win a title and have to think of another excuse to not move up? Will all of Title Shot show up and shock the world by thumping teams now that it’s playoffs? All these questions will be answered in a few short weeks’ time.

Top 3 of the Week:

1.      Topper- he pulled off a truly wonderful Lenny Alba Appreciation Day and continues to provide us with the best co-ed sports league in the area

2.      End Game- quietly on top of their division with a 153 point differential, this is a team to watch in the playoffs.

3.      Frodo Swaggins- coming back from an abysmal start, they end the session with the most points for amongst all nongender teams

Next week begins round 1 of playoffs. This is where heroes are made people so bring your A game and remember I’ll be watching…

~The Sentinel