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Hello and welcome back to your TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  

Isn't it crazy how some teams are already past the halfway mark of their season, while other teams are JUST getting started?  Zack Attack and Itches and Ohs have already played five games each... which is the same number of games that all D1 teams have played combined.  Yes, three weeks into the season and you can still count every D1 game on just one hand.  Ranking QBs is tough with small sample sizes, but we're up to the challenge.  

What else should we do this week?  It still feels too early for the "best offenses / best defenses" type charts we're used to producing since 28% of the League hasn't even played a third game yet.  So we guess that means more random rankings like last week's completely flawless, 100% accurate, universally agreed upon Female Receiver Power Rankings.  This week we'll give you the Top Ten Angry Buffalo Bar Legends - we're not calling this the "ten biggest alcoholics in the League"... but let's be honest that wouldn't be far off in this case.

First as always, your TSL Quarterback Power Rankings:

#1 David "Bro" Kleckler - Tight Ends in Motion - (Previous Rank #1)

Last Week:  Beat Sticky Bandits 37-30

This guy just doesn't lose games.  Tight Ends in Motion are 1-0 this season when Bro plays and 0-1 when he doesn't (so much for that "anyone could win with receivers this great!" bullshit).  He's the #1 QB in the Power Rankings until someone beats him, and even THEN he might keep the spot.  This shouldn't surprise anyone.

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown - (Previous Rank #2)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

Bye week for the undefeated Bobby McConnell.  Eventually every D1 team is going to start ripping off weekly doubleheaders to catch up with all these byes, and then the top of the Power Rankings will get VERY interesting.

#3 Chris Cole - Public Enemy - (Previous Rank #3)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

Bye week for the undefeated Chris Cole.  Public Enemy leads the TSL in points per game after three weeks, still riding the coattails of their dominant 53-point week one performance.

#4 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Victorious Secret - (Previous Rank #4)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

Bye weeks for both Losing Streak and Victorious Secret, the latter of which is currently the fifth highest scoring team in the TSL in our "way too early in the season to be quoting these types of numbers" stats.

#5 Matty "Ice" Ditullio - A&A / The Angels - (Previous Rank #6)

Last Week:  Beat Passed Our Prime 39-38 (A&A), beat Last Dance 43-28 (The Angels)

Matty moves up a spot as A&A run their record to an impressive 4-0 and the Angels record their first win of the session.  The Angels win over Last Dance was decisive, but it's interesting that NONE of A&A's victories this year have been nearly that convincing: they've beaten Passed Our Prime by 1, Notorious BNB by 1, XTC by 3, and When Dove Cries by 9 (still a one score game).  That's not a criticism by the way - it means Matty is doing SOMETHING right for A&A to be 4-0 right now instead of 0-4.

#6 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits - (Previous Rank #5)

Last Week:  Lost to Tight Ends in Motion 37-30

The Sticky Bandits were one of two teams to play their first game of the season in Week Three, and it was almost an upset of the reigning D1 champs.  Sure, they fell short on the last drive again, but their last two games have been neck and neck battles with their frenemies on Tight Ends in Motion.  What would Mike Thomas's QB Ranking be if he'd scored on that last drive and won the game?  We're kind of glad we don't need to figure that out right now actually, because that'd be a tough decision.

#7 Dylan Jaloza - TopShot - (Previous Rank #9)

Last Week:  Beat the Notorious BNB 33-22, beat XTC 39-36

Dylan Jaloza surges to his highest Power Ranking ever on the back of his double win over Notorious BNB and XTC.  We felt like TopShot was too good for D3 last session (although they didn't win it) but the fact that they're still undefeated in D2 without Chris Nelson is admittedly a little surprising to us.  The Jewish Prince makes plays when it counts (that's his jersey name, not our nickname...) and TopShot is already thinking about D1 next session.  But first... undefeated A&A is waiting for them next week in what could be the game of the week.

#8 Alex Buchlis - The Notorious BNB - (Previous Rank #7)

Last Week:  Lost to TopShot 33-22

Alex Buchlis drops one spot in the Power Rankings with his loss to undefeated TopShot this week.  The schedule makers didn't do Notorious BNB any favors this season with their first three opponents being a combined 9-2, but the players on this team have won a combined 600 championships before (give or take) so we suspect they'll be fine with making whatever adjustments are needed.

#9 Jeremy "Hogan" Olsen - Passed Our Prime - (Previous Rank #8)

Last Week:  Lost to A&A 39-38, beat Bullet Club 41-26

Passed Our Prime already has one more win than all of last season, and frankly they could be 4-0 with a little more luck in two VERY close losses.  Hogan leads D2 and is second in the entire TSL in Points Per Game (43.0 PPG) and that's not driven by one good flukey week either, as Passed Our Prime has scored 38, 39, 41 and 54 in their four games to date.  Their defense is still terrible at 10th worst in the League, but that's actually an improvement from last session when they were dead last by a mile.

#10 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless - (Previous Rank #15)

Last Week:  Beat XTC 36-20, beat When Doves Cries 32-28

We thought it might be a fluke when Scared Hitless had the best point differential in D2 after one week, but beating XTC and When Dove Cries in the same week gives them a huge boost of credibility.  Sure, the combined age of their opposing QBs was well over 90 (not an exaggeration) but those are some good, smart defenses, and Dylan dropped more than 30 points against each of them.  It's a good thing the League didn't let these guys register for D3, because Scared Hitless is currently undefeated in D2 and showing not only that they belong, but that they're real contenders for a championship this season.

#11 Brandt Dubey - XTC - (Previous Rank #10)

Last Week:  Lost to TopShot 39-36, lost to Scared Hitless 36-20

XTC are 0-4 and they've lost those games by 1, 3, 3 and 16 points.  Other than their Scared Hitless matchup they've been in every game, but they keep ending up on the losing side.  If A&A is finding ways to win close games, XTC is finding ways to lose them.  XTC is third in their division in offense and dead last in defense so don't blame Dubey - it's tough to win when you're giving up 42.5 PPG.  

#12 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins - (Previous Rank #12)

Last Week:  Beat Untouchaballs 42-40

A tie and a two-point win doesn't sound like a dominant start to the season for Frodo Swaggins, but they're STILL undefeated after a 42-40 victory over Untouchaballs this week, and Garrett looks fantastic.  We're not ready to label them as favorites for the D3 title yet (for all the good that did TopShot last season) but there will likely never be a game this season where we bet against Frodo.

#13 Patrick "Topper" McGovern - When Dove Cries - (Previous Rank #11)

Last Week:  Beat Bullet Club 36-28, lost to Scared Hitless 32-28

Was that Tim Dove playing for When Dove Cries this week?  Team Topper goes 1-1 this week with a win over a struggling Bullet Club and a loss against (apparent) juggernaut Scared Hitless.  WDC was a D2 finalist last session, but we wonder what the Godfather would give their odds of making it back to the Finals this session.  The fact that Topper's only throwing for one team this season has to help his aging arm.

#14 Seth Molisani - Slob Kabombs / Buffalo Vice - (Previous Rank #20)

Last Week:  Lost to Tight Ends in Motion 45-19, tied Itches and Ohs 46-46

Seth's teams' combined D1/D4 record thus far this season is an uninspiring 2-2-1 but if you stop to watch his games you will always be blown by an amazing throw or two (not to mention his relentless scrambling that forces teams to rush a guy against him).  The scheduling gods (aka Topper) were unkind to Seth by starting Slob Kabombs against Public Enemy and Tight Ends in Motion where they have predictably gone 0-2.  Buffalo Vice on the other hand is still undefeated so at least THAT is going well.  D1 record aside, Seth is a game changing QB who makes defenses adjust to his ridiculous skillset.  If he pulls off a high profile upset or two, he'll be in the Top Ten in no time.

#15 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care - (Previous Rank #19)

Last Week:  Beat Super Freaks 47-27

Grey Hair - Don't Care are currently only fifth in offensive PPG in D3, BUT they're sitting on top of the division standings with a 3-0 record so they have to be happy about that.  Eickhoff hasn't cracked our Top Ten in the past 26 weeks of Power Rankings stretching back to Spring of 2019, but we've got a good feeling about him this session.  Of course, his three opponents so far have been a combined 2-7, so we'll have to see how he does against slightly better competition before we start planning his D3 victory parade.

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But enough about quarterbacking - let's do another obnoxious ranking that's going to make even MORE people feel slighted.

Below are the Top Ten Angry Buffalo Bar Legends.  What does this mean?  It's not a list of the "biggest drunks" in the TSL (although plenty of those are on the list too), but these are mainstays at the bar that make the off-field experience in our League as great as it is.  Kind of like a "Best at Bar" but for individuals, instead of teams.  

This is insanely subjective, so we're all over the place with these votes.  Some of these are newer to the League but have already made a big impact.  Most of these are active players, but there were a couple currently inactive legends we just had to throw on the list as well.

Apologies to Dorene Major, Trish Esposito, Matt Newman, B's Brother and of course Eric Kleckler (Destroyer of Plants) who received votes but aren't shown below.

HOW DARE WE LEAVE OUT THIS GUY OR THAT GIRL?!?!  Yeah, we know.  But that's our list!  Don't like it?  Complain at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  Or wait until next week when we do our Male Receiver Rankings... that'll REALLY give you something to complain about.

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And that's it for this week!  As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher?  kicking a plant isn't a solid criteria for selection as a potential Bar Legend?  no one should be ahead of Topper on his OWN LEAGUE'S bar legend rankings?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..   Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!

What’s YOUR ranking?

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