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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE TSL UNIVERSE:

 

The race for co-ed football immortality officially begins this weekend. That’s right, it’s the playoffs baby! Everything you’ve done on the field for the last two months? It means nothing. The regular season is just the pre-show for the main event. All you’ve accomplished during it was just for seeding purposes. That’s it. It doesn’t matter how many games you played shorthanded, or had bad weather for, or had B’s Brother in all of his glory on the sidelines distracting you as though you’ve seen an angel and couldn’t look away. As long as you stumbled to this week successful enough to have a game, you’ve done your job.

 

And now the real season begins.

 

This is what you play for. This is why you’re here. This is why you spent all of your offseason constructing the best possible rosters you can and coming up with game plans. Co-ed. Football. Immortality.

 

What happened before this, doesn’t matter. That was for fun. This is business. This is TSL football.

 

Before we get into the playoff games, let’s have a moment of silence and remember the teams that weren’t fortunate enough to get this far:

 

IN MEMORIAM:

 

Full Throttle (1-8) – A rough season for FT, finishing last in D4/R2. They ended up with the 7^th worst offense in the league, and tied for the 7^th worst defense in the league. (Oh you bet I’m ripping off the QB rankings’ awesome stats for this one). Their only win was against Puckett in Week 2. They had some close losses, but not enough to really say a few bounces get them into the playoffs.

 

Cobblestone (2-7) – Cobblestone finished 9^th in D4/R2. They were top 3 in worst defense and offense. It didn’t look great for most of the season. They started off 0-5. But then Darryl’s magic happened. They rattled off two straight wins and got back into playoff contention before losing to GLBS and on the last week, playing Buffalo Solar, they fought valiantly before succumbing to BSS 20-14 and missing the playoffs. The last half of the season should give them hope for the future.

 

HomeTech (2-7) – HomeTech made some strides this season. Besides being perhaps the only team in league history to score 1 point in a game, our friends here played a lot of close games. Of their 7 losses, FOUR of them were by less than a score (2, 2, 3, and 7) and of the 3 other losses, the two blowouts were to the gender teams, and well, everyone was getting blown out by them. There’s a lot of positives here. Their defense is playing well, they just need to work on their offense and they’ll be battling in the playoffs very soon.

 

Vandalay Industries (3-6) – What?!? You’re reading this correctly. Team Topper Jr. is missing the playoffs after finding themselves in that 3-6 shuffle in D5/R3 that had a four way tie for positions 6-9. Due to the weird Topper magic that breaks ties like that that I still don’t understand, we see that VI is on the outside looking in this season. We know who to blame: Non-Award Winning Tommy Hughes, who was hand picked by Topper to defeat the Angels for him, instead lost the game and they miss the playoffs now. (The real reason of course, is that the season went downhill when Karissa broke her collarbone, but it’s better to blame NAW Tommy. OMG CALLING HIM ‘NAW TOMMY’ IS GREAT. Did Non-Award-Winning Tommy Hughes win the Best Tommy Hughes award? NAW.) Anyway, it can be argued VI shouldn’t be missing the playoffs with the 13^th best offense in the league, but it seems that 5^th worst defense came to bite them. RIP friends.

 

Well, with those losers out of the way, let’s get to what really matters: The teams in contention to win the championships!

 

D1/C1:

 

To the surprise of absolutely nobody, Public Enemy (9-0) and Eyes Downtown (6-3) got the byes for this week of the playoffs. This might be ED’s worst season record-wise in a long time, but they missed Bobby way too much this season. As for this week’s matchups:

 

Marketing Mayors (6-3) vs 1 Todd Too Many (3-6)

 

Games this season:

Marketing Mayors 54, 1 Todd Too Many 18

 

Season Divisional Ranks:

Marketing Mayors: 2^nd on offense, 3rd on defense

1 Todd Too Many: 6^th on offense, 6^th on defense

 

Marketing Mayors are the best team to be playing TSL football this week. Team Topper has rattled off some wins to end the season, and their 3-6 record is nothing to be ashamed of. They showed they can hang in this division, and perhaps next season will be even better if they decide to stay in D1. However, the stats don’t lie here and I’m not sure they’re capable of this kind of upset. MARKETING MAYORS BY 10.

 

#XTC@Angry Buffalo (3-6) vs Tight Ends In Motion (3-6)

 

Games this Season:

Tight Ends In Motion 39, #XTC@AB 23

 

Season Divisional Rankings:

#XTC@AB: 5^th on Offense, 5^th on Defense

Tight Ends In Motion: 3^rd on Offense, 2^nd on Defense

 

This battle of 3-6 teams isn’t nearly as even as their records suggest. Let’s face it, Tight Ends In Motion completely underperformed this season, and I’m sure there’s some formula somewhere that shows their win total should be around 5. But that’s what happens when you have to play “QB Carousel” for most of the season. Who starts at QB? Seth? Ricky? Alex? There’s growing concern that the latter may still be injured and just trying to ‘power through it’, which isn’t helping anyone. TEIM would be better served to have Seth or Ricky throwing. As for #XTC@AB, they’re playing some much better football in the second half of the season. Remember, this isn’t the same #XTC we’re used to, (they’re still lovely though) as they added a bunch of new players in an attempt to compete. And what of the Coach Jay vs Emily Curry narrative? They need to make a bet on this game. If I’m Coach Jay, my request is that if #XTC wins, Emily has to play with them next season. Imagine how much better #XTC would be with her in the lineup. And I don’t think she’d be against it either. But, for this game, assuming all of the players on each side show up: TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 8

 

D2/C2:

 

After a ridiculous season that saw Title Shot start out hot and had Bullet Club knock them off their pedestal,  we ended the season with Gryffindor (6-3) and A&A (5-4) getting the bye weeks. While some people are quietly complaining that the C1/C2 crossover games decided the divisional bye weeks here, and they’re kind of right, everyone has to play the schedule they’re given. Get tough.

 

Bullet Club (4-5) vs Money Ball (2-6)

 

Games this Season:

Money Ball 34, Bullet Club 23

 

Season Divisional Ranks:

Bullet Club: 1^st on offense, 6^th on defense

Money Ball: 5^th on offense, 4^th on defense

 

Money Ball only had two wins in their inaugural season: one against a shorthanded Bullet Club, and another against a shorthanded Title Shot. New teams tend to struggle early on, so this isn’t a shock. MB has a lot of things going for it. Tim Dove’s brain, Radon’s veteran leadership and athleticism, Scott Pinto’s youth and athleticism, Kelly Sabo and Val Bernal’s all around awesomeness, and even their “unknowns” like Tony and Misty are very good football players that need more recognition. Putting it all together is another thing, of course. Bullet Club, as usual, struggled to put their starting roster together for a single game this season (Thanks to the disappearance of Jeff Easton. Seriously, Joe K and Gordon need to go check on him.) They got close to full strength last week, and were promptly power bombed through some tables by Batts and Burr 49-8 last week. BC has talent, and they know the game. Being smart helps them overcome a lack of overall team speed, but Money Ball possesses the right amount of both to give them fits. It’s all going to come down to Travis Clev$ and how well he QBs. If he can avoid the future Mrs. Clev$ sacking him this time around, and makes the plays that are given to him, BC should take this one. If they can’t? Look out for an upset. There’s no way Travis loses to Val twice in a season…right? BULLET CLUB BY 6

 

Energy Buff (3-5) vs Title Shot (3-6)

 

Games this Season:

Energy Buff 34, Title Shot 31

 

Season Divisional Ranks:

Energy Buff: 4^th on offense, 3^rd on defense

Title Shot: 6^th on offense, 5^th on defense

 

When you look at Title Shot’s roster, you see the 2011 TSL All-Star team. Hell, you may even see the 2017 TSL Hall of Fame class (if we had one). When everyone showed up early in the season, Title Shot was 3-0 and looking like they were going to run away with the division. Since then, attendance issues has submarined a once promising season into a six game losing streak. Everyone has the “if we had all of our guys” questions, but I think Title Shot is the champion of this category. If we see everyone come to play, they should beat Energy Buff. But will they? Energy Buff was my preseason favorite to take the division championship, but some early season struggles derailed that train. However, they’ve been playing much better as of late, and they’re a sneaky “could still win the D2 title” pick. This game is going to be so dependent on who shows for TS though. ENERGY BUFF BY 7 IF NOBODY SHOWS FOR TITLE SHOT, TITLE SHOT BY 10 IF THEY DO.

 

D3/R1:

 

Well, enough with those boring divisions and onto the fun ones. D3/R1 doesn’t have any bye weeks. To win what is arguably TSL’s most interesting and competitive division, you’ll need to win 3 games. Good luck to everyone involved in this mess.

 

All We Do Is Quinn (7-1-1) vs Ultimate Warriors (1-8)

 

Games this Season:

All We Do Is Quinn 31, Ultimate Warriors 25

All We Do Is Quinn 45, Ultimate Warriors 22

 

Season Divisional Ranks:

All We Do Is Quinn: 3^rd on Offense, 1^st on Defense

Ultimate Warriors: 7^th on Offense, 8^th on Defense

 

Quinn was the wire to wire leader in the division, and man were they impressive in doing so. Vince Taverna has done his best to become a household name while the usual suspects like Mike Rawdin, Joe Schwab, and Cat Peters have done more than their fair share of the work this season. Quinn is showing the league how it’s supposed to be done. Start in a low division, work together and figure it out for a few years, and then move up together and win. The Ultimate Warriors had a season they just wanted to forget. They DID finally win a game, which is awesome, but it’s the games that they let slip away that will haunt them. However, T, Sam, and company are proven playoff performers who have caused upsets in the past. Ask 3^rd and Schlong. I don’t think they’re going to catch Quinn sleeping though. AWDIQ is on a mission, and it’ll show this week. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 13

 

Slytherin That End Zone (5-3-1) vs Morning Wood (2-6-1)

 

Games this Season:

Slytherin That End Zone 27, Morning Wood 16

Slytherin That End Zone 36, Morning Wood 36

 

Season Divisional Ranks:

SITE: 2^nd on Offense, 2^nd on Defense

Morning Wood: 8^th on Offense, 5^th on Defense

 

This is the one team I think SITE did NOT want to see. Morning Wood took SITE to the limit in their last contest, tying 36-36. SITE was one of the league’s hottest teams at the time, as QB Matt Newman was slinging it the only way he knew how. But then, somehow, SITE’s defense fell apart against MW in a game they had to win if they had hopes of winning the division. Clearly, that’s gone now. The problem I have with Morning Wood is that that tie might have been their best shot at a big win this season. Their offense, sadly, is very lacking, and SITE’s defense is very good. I can’t imagine a world where SITE’s defense lets that happen again. I’d expect to see more of the 27-16 game than the 36-36 tie. SLYTHERIN THAT END ZONE BY 9

 

Frodo Swaggins (5-3-1) vs Sticky Bandits (3-4-2)

 

Games this Season:

Sticky Bandits 44, Frodo Swaggins 21

 

Season Divisional Ranks:

Frodo Swaggins: 1^st on Offense, 6^th on Defense

Sticky Bandits: 6^th on Offense, 4^th on Defense

 

The 3-4-2 you see next to Sticky Bandits isn’t their soccer defense, no, it’s actually their record this season. Sticky hasn’t been, well, Sticky this season. A big reason has been the injury to QB Alex Buchilis, but Mike Thomas has been reliable as a backup. Something just felt off about Sticky this whole season, and perhaps “real life” got in the way too much this time around. Things like marriages, injuries, vacations, etc. kept Sticky bringing a different roster each week. Hell, even Jeff Krol missed a game, which was once thought to be one of the signs of the Apocalypse…the jury is still out on if it was or not. Garrett Beesing was overheard this week saying that the one team Frodo didn’t want to face was Sticky. While the teams have gone opposite directions since the 44-21 Sticky win early in the season, Garrett knows just how good the Bandits can be when they’re at full strength. They’re one of the smartest teams in all of co-ed football, just this season seemed to be more of a problem with execution than knowing what to do. Swaggins has been one of the league’s hottest teams as QB Scotty Drosendahl (We learned a new name!) has been lights out. Beesing is reclaiming past glories as he hobbles into the twilight of his career. Josh Schnieder is still the best TSL player you don’t know about. And it really seems like the trade at the deadline for Emily Schilling was the right move. Don’t sleep on Sarah Hunt though. Maybe I’m a softee for one of the league’s longer tenured teams, but this is the upset people will be talking about at the bar this week. Thing is, it really isn’t an upset at all. STICKY BANDITS BY 4

 

Peachy Platoon (5-4) vs 3^rd And Schlong (4-3-2)

 

Games this Season:

3^rd And Schlong 36, Peachy Platoon 34

 

Season Divisional Ranks:

3^rd and Schlong: 4^th on Offense, 7^th on Defense

Peachy Platoon: 5^th on Offense, 3^rd on Defense

 

This is one hell of a 4-5 matchup, and it might the one to watch all day. These teams are very evenly matched, as the rankings show, and even the game they played shows too. 3AS did have the luck to play Peachy after they already played a game, so we’ll have to see how a fresh Platoon fares against them this time around. 3^rd and Schlong was thought to be rocketing up the league’s divisions, but it appears the D3/R1 is the correct home for them. As much as we love Scott Sr, it’s seeming like this is as far as that magical, 83 year old arm can take 3AS. Both teams are going to score, but honestly it feels like Dean Thompson can pull off one more score to take this one. PEACHY PLATOON BY 1

 

D4/R2:

 

This division was pretty much all End Game this season. Uncle Rico’s was the “hot thing” for a minute before No Punt Intended put out that fire (more on that in a minute). The bottom of the standings was exciting for the last few weeks, as Puckett, Cobblestone, and Full Throttle all battled to get in. Lots of fun matchups for the first week here.

 

End Game (8-1) vs Puckett All-Stars (3-6)

 

Games this Season:

End Game 41, Puckett All-Stars 37

 

Season Divisional Ranks:

End Game: 1^st on Offense, 1^st on Defense

Puckett All-Stars: 5^th on Offense, 5^th on Defense

 

The seasonal ranks for Puckett tell me that they’ve been the recipients of some really bad luck this season. They’re much better than your average 8^th seed, that’s for sure. Puckett really brought End Game to the limit last time around, and unfortunately for them, it’s made End Game more aware of them this time. End Game has been just so good this season that they’ll be in D3 next year regardless of how the playoffs go for them. Losing Emily meant nothing to them, and Steph Czaja and Co easily replaced her. I hear they have good guys too. They have the best defense in the entire league, and the 7^th best offense. They just dominated, and they should continue that this weekend. END GAME BY 6

 

GLBS (6-3) vs Indecent Exposure (4-5)

 

Games this Season:

GLBS 35, Indecent Exposure 12

 

Season Divisional Ranks:

GLBS: 7^th on Offense, 2^nd on Defense

Indecent Exposure: 4^th on Offense, 6^th on Defense

 

More than just 2 games really separate these teams. GLBS burst onto the scene, led by Glenn Bird and Rachel Parker. While this team struggles a bit still to score tons on offense, their defense is incredible and hard to beat. Indecent Exposure has had a season I’d bet they’d like to forget. A sub .500 record and a few tough losses just isn’t what we’ve been accustomed to seeing from them. Captain Laura needs to get the squad focused as we head into the playoffs. Sadly for IE, I see a bit of a replay of the regular season matchup here. GLBS BY 10

 

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (6-3) vs No Punt Intended (5-4)

 

Games this Season:

No Punt Intended 50, Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers 43

 

Season Divisional Ranks:

Uncle Rico’s: 3^rd on Offense, 4^th on Defense

No Punt Intended: 6^th on Offense, 8^th on Defense

 

If you weren’t paying attention this season, you missed Uncle Rico’s start self-promoting themselves a bit, only to have the game against NPI in hand before getting cocky and not running the clock down. What happened was one of TSL’s biggest last second mistakes, as URTT threw an interception with time running out, and NPI won as the clock was expiring. We haven’t heard much from Uncle Rico’s since that day. Rumor is that Jon Senn put his team on a hush order so that they wouldn’t jinx themselves anymore. NPI has been up and down all season, which is never a good recipe for playoff success. To be honest, Uncle Rico’s is most likely out for blood, and to right the wrongs of their past. This is a BIG game for them, and while NPI may be game for this one as well, look for Uncle Rico’s to finish what they started a few weeks ago. UNCLE RICO’S TIME TRAVELERS BY 3

 

Buffalo Solar Solutions (5-4) vs Hung Buffalo (5-4)

 

Games this Season:

Buffalo Solar Solutions 44, Hung Buffalo 27

 

Season Divisional Ranks:

Buffalo Solar Solutions: 2^nd on Offense, 7^th on Defense

Hung Buffalo: 8^th on Offense, 3^rd on Defense

 

Both of these teams have had interesting seasons. Buffalo Solar Solutions was one of my picks to win the division in the preseason, and for a time, they made me look brilliant. And then, they didn’t. But, they got it together before the end of the season. Hung Buffalo meanwhile started a little slow but came on very strong before the wheels fell off. These two teams just met in Week 7, and I don’t think too much has changed for either squad. Hung Buffalo has put up single digit points in 3 of their last 4 games, and I don’t think their defense is as good as the numbers say. This will be closer than last time, but I predict: BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 10

 

D5/R3:

 

Gender teams rule. We know this. Matty’s Angels murdered the division. Cunning Stunts were extremely good as well. Ugandan Warriors are very good as well. These teams are all above the rest in the division. The rest of the teams saw the middle tier stay in the middle (Come From Behind and Pink Pteratacos) and then after that it was bedlam the last couple of weeks. Let’s look at the matchups:

 

Matty’s Angels (9-0) vs Five Star Generals (3-6)

 

Games this Season:

Matty’s Angels 54, Five Star Generals 46

 

Season Divisional Ranks:

Matty’s Angels: 1^st on Offense (and in the Universe), 9^th on Defense

Five Star Generals: 5^th on Offense, 10^th on Defense

 

Not too long after looking like perhaps the worst team in the division the Generals earned a playoff spot. Their reward is the wrecking ball that is Matty’s Angels, who may have set scoring records if we really paid attention to that sort of thing. The knock on the Angels this whole season has been just how horrible their defense has been. They allow the third most points in the entire league, but there’s a problem for Five Star here. The only two teams worse than Matty’s Angels at defense are Cobblestone and, well, the Five Star Generals. What happens when the greatest offense takes on the worst defense? Well, we’ve all seen the Buffalo Bills play the New England Patriots right? Five Star hung close last time, but I’m not entirely sure they can run with the girls again. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 14

 

Cunning Stunts (7-2) vs Hope N Ruin (3-6)

 

Games this Season:

Cunning Stunts 43, Hope N Ruin 26

 

Season Divisional Ranks:

Cunning Stunts: 2^nd on Offense, 2^nd on Defense

Hope N Ruin: 6^th on Offense, 7^th on Defense

 

Tell me if you’ve heard of this scenario before: Hope N Ruin has to play a gender team in the playoffs. Just about everyone assumes the gender team will smack HNR around. Hope N Ruin beats that gender team and ruins everyone’s gambling parlays that week. I never know how to properly gauge scenarios like this. Everything says the Stunts should win: they’ve already beaten HNR. They have a QB in Joey Batts that, for real, is one of the hottest in the TSL as of late. They’re much better than HNR on offense AND defense. And yet, this game is a toss up. It’s hard to defeat trends and history. If I were betting, I wouldn’t touch this one at all. HOPE N RUIN BY 2

 

Ugandan Warriors (6-3) vs Over Compensators (3-6)

 

Games this Season:

Ugandan Warriors 33, Over Compensators 7

 

Season Divisional Ranks:

Ugandan Warriors: 3^rd on Offense, 1^st on Defense

Over Compensators: 9^th on Offense, 6^th on Defense

 

Blasé LaDuca has sadly become the “little brother” to the gender teams. Sure, he wishes he could be like his big brothers Matt and Joey, but he’s just not quite there yet. Ugandan hasn’t really lost a step all season, and they deserve a lot more credit than they’re getting for how they played this season. Drama aside, they’ve put together a defense that can stop just about everyone. The Over Compensators aren’t exactly playing the role of “happy to be here”, but I think even they are a little surprised that they ended up as the 6^th seed. While they aren’t too bad on defense, it’s the offense that’s their problem. They’re 9^th in the division on offense (they have the 11^th worst offense in the league) and they’re going up against the best defense in the division (Top 5 in the league). I can’t see a way that the OC can score enough to take this one from the Warriors. UGANDAN WARRIORS BY 14

 

Come From Behind (5-4) vs Pink Pteratacos (4-5)

 

Games this Season:

Come From Behind 24, Pink Pteratacos 14

 

Season Divisional Ranks:

Come From Behind: 7^th on Offense, 5^th on Defense

Pink Pteratacos: 8^th on Offense, 3^rd on Defense

 

Another 4-5 matchup that has two teams that are very closely matched with each other. Come From Behind has been hot lately. They only lost to the Angels by 5, and they beat Ugandan last week. Not to mention they just defeated the Pteratacos in Week 6. The Pteratacos, meanwhile, have been on a 4 game losing streak to end the season after starting it with such promise (they were 4-1 at one point). Mark needs to get his head out of wedding planning, and back into game planning it seems. I’m going to play the trends here though, and I think we’ll see a close game, but COME FROM BEHIND BY 1

 

D6/R4:

 

Nothing shocking here. Jabronies and Practice Squad were the class of this division, and they both took home the bye weeks. Shout out to The Bambs, who were nice enough to accommodate The Bi-Polar Express and agree to play this week’s game at 9:00am next week. Sportsmanship! That means we only have one game this week.

 

TMA (4-4-1) vs pAssless Chaps (3-6)

 

Games this Season:

TMA 37, pAssless Chaps 9

 

Season Divisional Ranks:

TMA: 5^th on Offense, 5^th on Defense

pAssless Chaps: 4^th on Offense, 6^th on Defense

 

TMA didn’t have their best season. A lot of inconsistencies on both sides of the ball, a lack of Ron, and not enough Ferger at WR may have made this season one to forget. But there were some good times for sure, and one of those times was the Week 3 37-9 victory against the Chaps where everything went right, the moonshine was flowing, and everyone was happy. Well, looks like the Chaps may be the cure for what ails TMA. Except that Coach Jay and Company have been quietly playing some good football lately, including a win against Practice Squad. TMA is on the downswing and the Chaps are on the upswing, and I think this game is going to be closer than anyone realizes. But I DO expect the entire TMA roster to be there, and when they are, they’re tough to beat. I don’t forsee the Chaps pulling this out, but they’re making a lot of progress, just as Coach Jay wanted. TMA BY 7

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

1.      Who is going to get banned from the bar first? We ask you guys nicely, again and again, not to bring your own alcohol to the fields and yet you still do it. Look, we understand that the bar doesn’t hook us up like they used to when Second Shift Dave Walter was there, but if the bar bans you from the premises WE CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. Don’t be stupid.

 

2.      Will we see overtime? As you all know, the TSL doesn’t have OT in the regular season, we just end in a tie. BUT IN THE PLAYOFFS, we definitely do, and it’ll be awesome to see if those rules have to come into effect or not. The refs have been briefed on the rules, and if you have any questions please go find Rameer and ask him.

 

3.      Which high seed will fall this week? The TSL playoffs almost NEVER go “chalk”, and this year feels like no exception. Some prime candidates: #6 Sticky Bandits beating #3 Frodo Swaggins, #6 Money Ball beating #3 Bullet Club, #6 No Punt Intended beating #3 Uncle Rico’s, and #7 Hope N Ruin beating #2 Cunning Stunts, and #8 Puckett All-Stars over #1 End Game. Bad time to be a 3 seed.

 

4.      What will be the popular excuse for losing teams? As of now the weather looks like it’s going to be 71 degrees and sunny! Not much wind, so can’t blame that. It’s the playoffs so you better have your horses there. Refereeing? Probably. Yeah, that will be the one. Seriously, if you lose, own your loss and don’t blame anyone else.

 

5.      What are you doing after the games? This is serious. Topper is a great human being (sort of) and he’s skating in the 11 Day Power Play this year. He’s playing from like midnight until 3am one of these days, so we won’t be able to watch him get hurt. But there IS a happy hour to raise money his team this Saturday from 5:00-7:00pm at the Lockhouse Distillery. Its FREE to go there, and there should be some really cool raffle prizes. Go support the man that just bought you a damn ice cream truck for a day. Ingrates.

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

1.      Lenny Day has come and gone. By all accounts, it was an awesome time. Everyone was smiling, we saw some familiar faces show up, and ice cream was had. The only thing that could’ve made it better was 40 Year Plan Guy and Katie Keller getting married on Field 1 (even to pretend) while Topper was the priest. Lenny would’ve wanted that, but Katie was too selfish to make it happen.

 

 

2.      Breakfast Club Semi-Finals (TOPPER’S ODD YEAR REIGN HAS ENDED!): Hot TaMolly’s 36 – Bern Them All 22, Schilling ‘Em Softly 27 – EmC HammerTime 20.

 

3.      The People are clamoring for the TSL podcast to make it’s glorious return. From what my insiders say, it’s actually going to happen starting next season. Look out world!

 

4.      I really hope that we take this season and use it to make the divisions in the Fall. There were a few teams that were out of place and need to move up and others that need to move down. We’ll be constantly tweaking the divisions for sure. If you win your division, you’re going up.

 

 

5.      Speaking of next season, with the earlier start (We’re starting in August this time instead of waiting too long in order to avoid snow games in November), there’s a chance that we may see Breakfast Club (Or perhaps Dinner Club) make its Fall debut.

 

6.      Another engagement! Congrats to Ben Stack and Kate Miano of Energy Buff on their recent engagement. That’s super awesome, and it seems they got a puppy out of the deal too.  If you want to get married on the fields with B’s Brother or Topper officiating, we can make it happen.

 

7.      I’d like to really thank The Rant, The Sentinel, and especially the QB Power Rankings for everything they’ve done this season. It was again, awesome, what they’ve brought to this league this season. I know I’ve done it before, but they deserve to hear it again.

 

 

8.      Every game is “must watch” in the playoffs, but here’s the places to be each hour:

a.      10:00 – Field 2 - #3 Bullet Club vs #6 Money Ball

b.      11:00 – Field 1 - #3 Frodo Swaggins vs #6 Sticky Bandits

c.       12:00 – Field 1 - #4 #XTC@AB vs #5 Tight Ends In Motion

d.      1:00 – Field 2 - #4 Peachy Platoon vs #5 3^rd And Schlong

e.      2:00 – Field 1 - #1 Matty’s Angels vs #8 Five Star Generals

 

9.      Thank you to all of you that took the time out this season to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. this season. It really helped a ton with knowing who the hell some of these new players are.

 

10.   This is very simple. You worked hard all season to get to this point. Play hard, but play clean. Don’t throw a fit. Don’t blame anyone if you lose. Hold yourself accountable. But above all else: have fun.

 

 

And of course, don’t forget to wear your sunscreen. Go get ‘em.

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