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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, Happy Friday to you all! Here we are yet again, together, on the final day before another exciting and entertaining Week of TSL football. Even though things are shaping up to be another beautiful TSL Saturday, the action on the field is still even hotter.

 

            I don’t mean to be the bearer of bad news, but after this weekend, the TSL Fall2022 session is already just about half over. I know, I know, we don’t need to be thinking about such things yet, but it should serve as a warning to teams to start getting it together before it’s too late.

 

            For some (okay, just D3) there’s really nothing to play for in the regular season. All 8 teams make the playoffs, so that’s fine. But for the other divisions you’re either playing for a bye (D1, D2, D5, D6) or you’re playing to even get IN to the playoffs (D4).

 

            If the season ended today, Legends and Frodo Swaggins (see: The “stacked” teams) would have earned the single byes in D1 and D2. In D5, Come From Behind and TMA both have a comfortable lead already for the 2 byes. In D6, Not So Sticky and Blitzkrieg currently hold the byes, but D6 feels like anything can still happen, so don’t be surprised if one (or both) of these teams didn’t end up in this spot in October. As for D4, well, Cobblestone has an 0-4 record and are on the fast track to missing the playoffs. This team needs to stop letting Darryl Carr QB Superstar down. We know for a fact it isn’t Darryl’s fault. And there’s no telling who the other team to miss the D4 playoffs can be at this point.

 

Luckily for us, there’s a lot of football left, including this week’s fairly large slate of games. While we can’t really predict the future (okay, YOU guys can’t, I do it extremely accurately every single week, right here in this very article) we can sure comment on the past. So let’s do that.

 

GOOD NOT BAD

- Superior Moser Squad goes 2-0 with Lauren Moser throwing the ball. Potential “Future Baby Moser” already assumed to be going 1st Overall in 2046 NFL Draft.

- Come From Behind is just rolling, also going 2-0 as Paul LoVullo turns back the clock to look better than ever. PEDs and Stem Cells potentially to blame.

- Frodo Swaggins continues to enjoy unprecedented levels of success, but until they actually get a QB, nothing is guaranteed.

- Scared Hitless dusts themselves off after a slow start, Johnny Football leads them to 2-0 week and drags them back to a .500 record

- ILF continues to win, moving to 3-0 on the season and a Top 10 overall TSL Ranking, first time in team history, probably.

 

NOT BAD NOT GOOD

- Can’t Touch This gets a win, does so by only 5 against a shorthanded 716 team

- The Untouchaballs get a nice win against The Replacements, but blow the big one against Frodo Swaggins. Burr reported to look “very tired” after playing for Legends, could’ve been the difference against Frodo.

- Spinelli’s Plumbing puts up 44 points and is looking like the offensive juggernaut we all know and love, but they still wear those jerseys.

- Freeballers dominate Dubey-less DILFs, but go on to get smacked by Frodo.

- Eyes Downtown gets first win by beating Grey Hair Don’t Care, but proceeds to lose easily to Legends, further cementing everyone’s internal beliefs that it’s just about over for Bobby.

 

BAD NOT GOOD

- Cobblestone falls to 0-4, this season becoming complete opposite of last year

- Passed Our Prime goes 0-2, but didn’t get blown out, and showed a lot of competitiveness. Potential D1 Dark Horse?

- Tuddies and Punt Cakes both fall to 1-3 in D6, but still have those feel good vibes about them as they figure things out.

- Even with a win, Woodpeckers only have 28 points total scored over 3 games

so far, which is a good half for a lot of teams.

- People leaving more and more garbage on the fields, need to learn to pick up after themselves.

- Grey Hair Don’t Care.

 

 

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Legends 39, Passed Our Prime 33

Scared Hitless 44, Passed Our Prime 33

Eyes Downtown 48, Grey Hair Don’t Care 23

Legends 41, Eyes Downtown 26

Scared Hitless 57, No Punt Intended 48 (D1/D2 Crossover)

 

The Legends continue their D1 dominance, sneaking out a win against POP before smacking around Eyes Downtown. Scared Hitless has a nice week, going 2-0 on the day. Eyes Downtown gets their first win of the season, as Grey Hair still has some work to do, which is to be expected in their first D1 season.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Legends vs Sticky Bandits (+7) - Last year’s championship rematch renewed. These teams come in with a combined 6-0 record and both are looking really good so far this season. This will be a test to see just how much closer to Legends Sticky got. LEGENDS BY 4

 

Sticky Bandits vs TIght Ends In Motion (+3) - Speaking of rivalries renewed, Sticky gets to jump right into the back half of a double header with the new (old) look TEIM. Tight Ends look so much more confident with Bro Klecker under center than they ever did last season, but there’s still some growing for them left to do. STICKY BANDITS BY 2

 

Eyes Downtown vs Scared Hitless (+6) - I don’t know what’s wrong with Eyes Downtown this season, but jokes aside, you have to think they right the ship as soon as they can. Johnny Football should have his team ready to play against his old squad, and that internal knowledge leads to a mild upset here. SCARED HITLESS BY 8

 

 

D1/D2 Crossover Games:

 

Eyes Downtown vs Buffalo Vice Retro (+13) - This game is being played at 9:00 this week, which must mean Bobby has a very important flag football game elsewhere he has to be at too. It shouldn’t matter. BVR hasn’t looked too great on the field yet, scoring only 39 points total in 2 games, and a D1 Crossover game won’t help them figure it out yet. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 11

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs The Untouchaballs (Even) - Despite Jeremy Burr letting his team down against Frodo, he’s going to be incredibly focused on getting this win. This will be the first look to see if UT can hang in D1 or not. Meanwhile, Tight Ends has something to prove after losing this crossover game last year to Scared Hitless. They don’t want to be the D1 laughingstock a second season in a row. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 7

 

DILFs vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+3) - I’m not sure if the D1 team has been the underdog before, but Grey Hair hasn’t been playing their best (and I’m sure they’d admit it) this season at all. The DILFs have been chugging along of course, and they’re one of the top teams in D2 once again. Remember, the DILFs are a pseudo D1 team that just never moved up, so don’t ever sleep on them. DILFS BY 9

 

 

 D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Frodo Swaggins 24, The Untouchaballs 22

DILFs 33, Buffalo Vice Retro 20

Freeballers 39, DILFs 20

Frodo Swaggins 31, Freeballers 20

The Untouchaballs 38, The Replacements 12

 

Frodo continues their hot start with two more wins, this time over Freeballers and The Untouchaballs. Both teams that would lose to Frodo would go on to get victories during the day as well, UT against The Replacements, and Freeballers over DILFs, with both going 1-1. DILFs would also go 1-1, beating Vice Retro before falling to Freeballers.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

No Punt Intended vs Buffalo Vice Retro (+10) - NPI is 0-1 after their first game that saw them in a shootout with Scared Hitless in D1. What we learned was that this team sure can score, and they didn’t have all of their weapons either. BVR, as we’re learning, can’t score, and that’s going to be an issue for them for the season. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 8

 

No Punt Intended vs The Replacements (+20) - Speaking of teams that are going to have issues this season, The Replacements seem to be in the wrong division (or so I hear), and unless they have the cavalry coming, this season my guess is this is going to be a season of growth for them. As long as they don’t get discouraged, they can learn the game a bit better and be prepared for next season. Trial by fire, I guess. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 15

 

Freeballers vs The Replacements (+14) - The Freeballers got their first D2 win when they dispatched of the DILFs last week. This is a team that has slowly grown and risen up through the ranks of each division over the years, and kind of deserve more credit for that. They’re 1-2, but those losses are to the most overpowered teams in the league. They get a small reprieve here…. FREEBALLERS BY 16

 

The Untouchaballs vs Freeballers (+7) - ….before having to deal with this. Back into the fire for Freeballers as they take on The Untouchaballs in what should be a big Game of the Day contender. This is appointment viewing for the TSL this week. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 2

 

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Can’t Touch This 25, 716 20

Bullet Club 35, Practice Squad 17

716 42, Itches and Ohs 19

Mountain Dew Me 16, Get Schwifty 14

 

Can’t Touch This gets on the board with a win, which isn’t surprising. You can’t really keep this team down for long. Bullet Club continues their hot start, looking good in a win against Practice Squad to go to 3-0. 716 avenges their early loss, and beats up on Itches and Ohs to take a win, and Mountain Dew Me scores late to steal a win from Get Schwifty.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Scott Seniors Starting vs Itches And Ohs (+8) - SSS comes back after two weeks off to take on an Itches and Ohs team that is currently struggling to find their way. At 0-2-1, you know that the Ohs aren’t going to stay at the bottom of the standings for long, but this is a hard way to get a win. SCOTT SENIORS STARTING BY 4

 

Bullet Club vs Itches And Ohs (+8) - The hits just keep on coming for Itches and Ohs as they get a double header against the early season Top 2 in D3. Bullet Club has been playing really well on both sides of the ball no matter who their QB has been, as Jeff Easton looked really good in his return to the fields. They’ve been getting plays from everyone on the roster, and it looks like the drop down to D3 was a good move. BULLET CLUB BY 6

 

Scott Seniors Starting vs Practice Squad (+8) - Practice Squad catches SSS on the back end of a double header as they look to get back into the win column after a rough game last week. PS can definitely keep up with SSS, provided B throws more passes in the end zone to his players than the other team’s players this week. This should be a good one to watch. SCOTT SENIORS STARTING BY 3

 

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Puckett All-Stars 38, Buffalo Vice 34

Spinelli’s Plumbing 44, TOX 31

Zack Attack 51, Vaspian 22

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 29, Travis Henry’s Kids 28

Cunning Stunts 42, Cobblestone 24

 

Puckett takes the win over Vice in what was an exciting game. Spinelli’s is back on track, scoring a bunch of points in a win over TOX. Zack Attack scores 51, which feels like it was supposed to be 15 and Topper messed up the number order. ILF takes a slim victory over THK, after apparently THK was too scared to go for two to get the win, and instead didn’t get the one to tie it. Finally, the Stunts put a hurting on Cobblestone, who are still struggling to figure it out this season.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Cobblestone (+6) - Travis Henry’s Kids are fine in D4. They’re 0-2 with two one point losses. It’s disheartening to hear that they played for the tie instead of the win against ILF, but the football gods figured that out for them. Now they take on a Cobblestone team with next to no direction. This is a big win for THK, who needs a feel good win at this point. Pistol Pete should eat up the Cobblestone D. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 13

 

Cunning Stunts vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+2) - Spinelli’s is definitely on the verge of breaking the jersey curse, but it’s one thing to put up 44 against TOX and another to beat the Stunts. As usual, the Stunts are rolling out of the gate, they’re 3-0, and they’re almost in the cruise control that gets them to 7-2 and a 2 seed in the playoffs before turning it on. This game should be a fun shootout, and Spinelli’s has the women to keep up in the points department. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 1

 

Cunning Stunts vs Buffalo Vice (+3) - An old rivalry renews itself here as these two teams were going toe to toe in D4 just a year ago. It feels like longer. Vice is 0-2-1 but they’re scoring a lot of points, and if they can just shore up the defense a tiny bit, they’ll be right in the thick of things. The very shocking and unexpected Stunts going 0-2 in one week is here. BUFFALO VICE BY 7

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (EVEN) - The biggest question will be if ILF’s offense can keep up with Spinelli’s. While I think ILF’s defense will get a turnover, they may need two or more to really keep this close. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 10

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Vaspian (+8) - Every recent session, we’ve said the same thing about PAS: some form of “They just kind of hang around in the beginning of the season, get it together near the end of the season, and nearly win the thing as a 7 seed”. This season, however, PAS has decided to arrive early to the TSL party. They’re 2-1, and could easily be 3-0 if a bounce or two goes their way in the Stunts game. They look like they’re here to win D4 as a 1 seed this season. Vaspian hasn’t gotten off to their usual hot start, and can really use this game to get back on track, but the vibes on this game just feel one way. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 12

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Zack Attack (EVEN) - Let’s do this. These two teams aren’t rivals, but they could be after this weekend. We just gushed about how good Puckett has been, but what about Zack Attack? The offense is killing it, and they’re playing their usually dominant defense. You can’t find better ingredients for success than that. ZACK ATTACK BY 1

 

TOX vs Vaspian (+3) - Even with the losses, TOX has earned praise from their opponents along the way, which bodes well for them in the future. Vaspian hasn’t been their usual selves just yet on defense, which has been how they were winning games for a while. It all adds up to one thing: TOX BY 3

 

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Come From Behind 40, Woodpeckers 8

Come From Behind 46, Passing While Intoxicated 20

Woodpeckers 14, Let’s Get Reccked 12

TMA 27, Today’s Feast 14

 

Come From Behind proceeded to smack around the competition, going 2-0 on the day to set up a fantastic showdown with TMA, who also won their game against Today’s Feast. The Woodpeckers finally got their first win this season, sneaking by Let’s Get Reccked to go 1-1 on the day.

 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Woodpeckers vs Today’s Feast (+2) - Two 1-2 teams face off as both need this win to get back on track this season. 2-2 just looks so much better than 1-3, and these teams both know it. When it comes down it, Today’s Feast is playing slightly better defense, and has a slightly better offense, which logically means there’s only one way to pick this one. TODAY’S FEAST BY 8

 

TMA vs Come From Behind (EVEN) - Here we go. ITS ON. Two 3-0 teams that have been playing absolutely lights out meet each other in what is absolutely a D5 Championship Preview as long as TMA doesn’t TMA all over themselves in the playoffs again. CFB is scoring slightly more points, TMA is playing slightly better defense, and its all going to come down to who blinks first. COME FROM BEHIND BY 1

 

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Superior Moser Squad 33, Punt Cakes 25

Not So Sticky 50, Lenny’s Ladies 16

Superior Moser Squad 33, Two Tuddies 28

Blitzkrieg 30, Two Tuddies 14

 

 

Superior Moser Squad takes two victories last Saturday before taking this week off apparently. Not So Sticky threw out QB Jeff Krol and had an easy time picking apart the Lenny’s Ladies defense to go to 3-0 on the season. Blitzkrieg handled the Tuddies pretty easily themselves, moving to 2-0.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Blitzkrieg vs Lenny’s Ladies (+12) - The two longest tenured D6 teams meet up yet again, in a game that is always exciting no matter who wins. Right now, Blitzkrieg seems to be firing on all cylinders while the Ladies are still getting the new players acclimated to defense and what to do. BLITZKRIEG BY 10

 

Punt Cakes vs Lenny’s Ladies (+6) - Punt Cakes already has a win over the Ladies from two weeks ago, and it's their only win of the season so far. PC definitely has some talented players on the team and they really just look like they’re still figuring it all out. Once they put things together, expect them to really make some noise in the division. PUNT CAKES BY 8

 

Blitzkrieg vs Not So Sticky (EVEN) - Two undefeated teams that are looking to have the undisputed early claim to the D6 title throne face off here. It doesn’t seem to matter who throws for NSS, as anyone can apparently step in and do well. It’s the system here, and that’s not a bad thing. They’re a group of really smart football players (as any team with Jeff Krol will be), and it’ll be interesting to see how they matchup with a veteran team who can match them on the field. NOT SO STICKY BY 8

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. How will the teams look this weekend? There seems to be a higher than normal amount of people missing this week from their teams as people went to LA for the Bills game, and there seem to be a few weddings along the way too. How will this affect the games tomorrow? It’ll be interesting to see.
2. Who really needs a big week as we near the halfway point of the season? I think all eyes need to be on Itches and Ohs this week. They haven’t been themselves all season, and they have a HUGE doubleheader against the top two teams in the division. If they lose both of those, 0-4-1 is a tough record to look at.
3. What’s the biggest surprise of the season so far? I won’t pile on Cobblestone even more than I already have (but they’re 0-4 and that’s a shocker) so I’ll go with the Zack Attack offense that is just absolutely clicking at levels I can’t ever recall. They really seem to have it all together right now, AND they still represent at the bar.
4. Where has B’s brother been? It just isn’t football without Jeffrey walking the sidelines giving everyone amazing coaching for free. The biggest report I got this week from my spies was that B’s Brother wasn’t at the fields. Such a shame.
5. What team in each division that isn’t playing too well can turn it around and win the championship? D1: Eyes Downtown, and that’s pretty self-explanatory. D2: The only real option is Buffalo Vice Retro here. D3: The aforementioned Itches and Ohs. D4: Buffalo Vice. They’ve been close before and they can score for sure. If they fix that defense, look out. D5: Passing While Intoxicated. They started to make waves at the end of last season and in the playoffs, so we know they’re capable. D6: Punt Cakes. All of the athletic talent in the world. If they “figure it out” by playoffs, they can take the title.

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. I haven’t heard about a single Breakfast Club Captains bet just yet. These new captains aren’t bringing the fun like the last group did. Someone needs to step it up.
2. Speaking of Breakfast Club, here are this week’s predictions:
1. Amber Alert 40, BDSM 24
2. Jennacide 30, The Special Kay’s 22
3. Steph Infection 47, The Messy Jessies 25
3. Here’s your best game of every hour schedule:
1. 10:00 - Legends vs Sticky Bandits
2. 11:00 - Cunning Stunts vs Spinelli’s Plumbing
3. 12:00 - TMA vs Come From Behind
4. 1:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Scared Hitless
5. 2:00 - Puckett All-Stars vs Zack Attack
6. 3:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Not So Sticky
4. Shout out to those people who have been picking up the bottles and garbage left behind by the TSLers at the end of the day. You guys are the real MVPs.
5. Reffing has been pretty great yet again. We’re getting more and more new refs to the fields and they’re not making a ton of huge mistakes. Extra props to the teams who have helped them along as they learn. We can’t have games without our refs, so good work to everyone who’s making them comfortable. For now.
6. I heard about the Halloween Tournament at the end of the podcast this week, and I think it’s a great idea to bring back something that the TSL used to have a bunch of fun with.
7. Three teams we need back in the league ASAP: Peachy Platoon, Matty’s Angels, Anything with Topper
8. Thanks again to those who have been emailing me about their teams, remember, you can take 5 minutes and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and let me know about your team!
9. If you were hoping for Fall football weather this weekend, you’re not going to get it. Expect it to be a hot one again.
10. I’ve been hearing about lots of new players who are starting to thrive in the league. This is good news. The more we get fresh blood into the TSL, the better it will be. Now we just have to get them to stay at the bar for a bit longer. . .

 

 

Week 4 is upon us, and the TSL is in full swing. Good luck out there to all of the players, and maybe I’ll even stop by the fields this weekend. Who knows?

 

 

-GF OUT

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