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TSL Quarterback Power Rankings – Week 3



Let’s start with the obvious, the big story, the Main Event:  For the first time in the (brief) history of the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings, we have a change in the #1 Ranking.  Chris Cole #2 had been the top Quarterback in the WNY bar league football scene for 10 consecutive weeks dating back to Week One of the Spring 2019 season… until he was dethroned by Mark Dalfonso #1 of Marketing Mayors this week.  Not an easy decision to demote a guy who has gone 22-2 in his past 24 games, but this is how we justified it:


  • Marketing Mayors has the best record (and only undefeated record) in our highest division at 4-0.  Public Enemy is 2-1, following a loss to Eyes Downtown this week.
  • Mark has led Marketing Mayors to the highest points per game in D1, while Public Enemy is stunningly LAST in the division in scoring after three weeks. 
  • Marketing Mayors are the defending D1 Champs, having knocked off Public Enemy in the championship game last session.
  • Marketing Mayors have the longest current winning streak in the League right now at 8 games ,while Public Enemy’s streak is currently at 1 loss.


Better record, better stats, head to head win in the last championship game, hotter team.  Mark checks every box right now, and that’s why he takes over the top spot in the TSL QB Power Rankings.  Oh, and Marketing Mayors play Public Enemy this week, so it’ll be fascinating to see what happens.  Does Mark cement his #1 ranking with another win, pushing Public Enemy to an unfathomable .500 record?  Or does Cole win the game and force a VERY difficult debate about why a team with a worse record and worse stats deserves to have the #1 Quarterback in the Power Rankings?  This is only the second meeting of #1 vs #2 ranked QBs in the Power Rankings history, and Cole won the first one against Matty Ice last season.  This is the game of the week for fans of great quarterbacking, and the TSL QB Power Rankings committee will be watching closely.


After Mark and Chris, the next tier of TSL passers battling it out for Rankings supremacy seems to be Matty Ice #3 and Bobby McConnell #4.  You know the story on Matty updates by now: he’s like 37-0 this season with 16,572 points (actually 5-0 with 233 points, but it always feels like so much more).  This guy never seems to lose, even when he should (*cough*PEACHY*).  And Bobby’s probably wondering what more he has to do to advance in the Power Rankings – he just beat Public freakin’ Enemy this week (how many active teams have ever done this? Is it just Eyes Downtown and Marketing Mayors? We would love to know), he beat Gryffindor 48-45, and he’s second in D1 in points per game.  Are we selling Bobby short with a #4 ranking?  Maybe.  He gets a second consecutive game against Public Enemy this week (D1 really needs more teams… have any other articles or podcasts mentioned that yet?) and the TSL QB Power Rankings committee would HAVE to promote him if he won again.


Dean Thompson #5 wins again, as Peachy Platoon beats Dilfs 31-29.  Peachy Platoon is 3-1 and would be undefeated in D2 if not for last week’s controversy; we probably knew this two weeks ago, but can we OFFICIALLY say now that the League made the right decision moving them up to D2?  If they’re not in D1 next session, something is wrong.


Vince Taverna #6 wins two more this week, as All We Do Is Quinn takes down Ultimate Warriors 44-30 and Jabronies 38-29.  AWDIQ have played three double headers to start the season, and remember, they would still be undefeated at 6-0 if not for Dave Baker’s Hail Mary miracle last week for the Sticky Bandits.  This team is really good, and we suspect they’ll be taking their talents to D2 next session.


We in the Power Rankings committee are loathe to promote quarterbacks after they lose a game, and we have NEVER promoted a QB that lost two games in a week… until now.  But it doesn’t feel right NOT to move Joey Batts #7 up after dropping two close games to Eyes Downtown (48-45) and Marketing Mayors (46-41).  Joey is STILL searching for his first D1 win this season, as Gryffindor’s lone win came in their D2 crossover game, but in the last two weeks he’s fallen one point short again Public Enemy… three points short against Eyes Downtown… and five points short against Marketing Mayors.  These are all really good teams, and scoring 86 points this week tells us that offense wasn’t the problem for Gryffindor.  Ultimately we would rather reward a QB for falling short against the best competition than reward one for hiding in lower divisions to rack up more wins.  And speaking of wins, Joey DID also win two games this week, as Cunning Stunts took down Buffalo Solar Solutions 36-25 and Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers 52-27.   If you have any questions about how great Joey is, make sure you listen to his podcast… he’ll be happy to remind you.


Poor Matt Newman #8. You fell one spot in the Rankings because you had a bye week and Joey was awesome while you were out.  Doesn’t seem fair does it?  We won’t pretend like it is.


Topper #9 and his Cinderella story continue, as Hofbrauhaus Buffalo beats Bullet Club 28-6.  A few facts about “Team Topper” – they’re 3-0 this session, they’re averaging 45 ppg, and they’ve only given up 22 points.  No, not 22 points per game, 22 points total.  They’ve allowed one score in each of their three games so far.  They’ve ALSO played the three worst teams in D2, and unless Topper abuses his League “influence” over the schedule to keep playing these same three teams over and over again, eventually they have to start playing tougher competition.  Up next is Slytherin That End Zone, which should easily be their hardest challenge to date.  If Topper can pull off another win though, he’ll be in great position to leapfrog Newman in the Power Rankings.


Finally, we get to the #10 ranking.  This was probably the hardest decision we’ve ever had to make for the Top Ten, as there were so many candidates worthy of consideration.  Let’s take a look at each (in no particular order):


Joe Miano (Jabronies)

Pros: 9th in the League in PPG, 2nd in D3 in PPG; only loss was to strong opponent; held the #10 spot last week, so it should be his to lose

Cons: Lost this week to AWDIQ; none of the teams he’s beaten/tied so far this session have won a game


Scott Drosendahl (Frodo Swaggins)

Pros: One of the hotter QBs in the League going back to last session; 2-0 to start this season

Cons: Didn’t play this week (tough to break the top ten without playing a game); 27th in the League in PPG.


Larry Chruscial (Over Compensators)

Pros: Highest scoring non-gender team in the League; won 50-0 this week vs Pink Pteratacos; 4-0 record to start this season

Cons: Plays in D5, which would make him the only candidate in consideration that plays below D3


Johnny Dio (Dilfs)

Pros: Positive point differential in D2; one of five offenses in D2 that scores more than 30 ppg (the other four having Top Ten QBs); three losses this season are by 1, 2 and 4 points, against two of the top D2 teams (Peachy & SITE) and D1 Gryffindor

Cons: 1-3 record this season; 20th in the League in PPG


Mike Mckenrick (TEIM)

Pros: Only unranked D1 QB so far this season; annihilated Gryffindor 35-0 (game called early) for signature win; third in D1 in scoring; two losses were both close (Marketing Mayors by one point, Eyes Downtown by four)

Cons: 1-2 record this season; started Marketing Mayors game with two immediate INTs, including a Pick-8 on First and Goal (which should really not be rewarded with Top Ten status); 24th in the League in PPG


David Eickhoff (End Game)

Pros: Dominated Spring session with best +/- in the League playing in D4; only two losses this session are to the teams with the best two records in division

Cons: This isn’t Spring session, and now End Game is 37th in the League in PPG playing in D3; only two wins this session are to winless teams


Tough choices, and it all depends how we value win/loss record, points per game, quality of division, quality of opponents played within that division to date, etc.  There was no obvious answer here.  Since we started the article by immediately sharing the Top Ten (actually a Top 15 this week, as we wanted to recognize all of these players), you should know by now that we ultimately went with Larry Chruscial #10 for the final spot.  He had the best offensive numbers, the best record, and is coming off a 50-0 win.  Does it matter that he plays against D5 teams, and the other contenders were D3 (Joe, Scott and Dave), D2 (Johnny) and D1 (Mike)?  Well, yeah, actually it does, and that’s why Larry’s going to have a damn hard time holding on to this spot if any of these other guys get hot and distinguish themselves in the coming weeks.  But for now Larry, you’ve earned it. Keep mauling other teams 50-0, and we’ll keep writing about you, Top Ten or otherwise.


“Ultimately we would rather reward a QB for falling short against the best competition than reward one for hiding in lower divisions to rack up more wins.”


“We ultimately went with Larry Chruscial #10 for the final spot.  He had the best offensive numbers, the best record, and is coming off a 50-0 win”


Do those two statements seem inconsistent to you?  Believe me, we struggled with the logic of this too, and sometimes there are just no clear answers.



Here are a few quick hits on your TSL team leaders after three weeks – we’ve separated out gender teams where needed, because apparently our ladies are so dominant they ruin these categories for their less athletic male counterparts:


  • Best Offensive Team (total points) – All We Do Is Quinn, 264
  • Best Offensive Team (points per game) – Matty’s Angels, 62
  • Best Non-Gender Offensive Team (points per game) – Over Compensators, 47.3


  • Worst Offensive Team (total points) – Pink Pteratacos, 24
  • Worst Offensive Team (points per game) – Pink Pteratacos, 8


  • Best Defensive Team (total points against) – Hofbrauhaus Buffalo, 22
  • Best Defensive Team (points against per game) – Hofbrauhaus Buffalo, 7.3


  • Worst Defensive Team (total points against) – Gryffindor, 229
  • Worst Defensive Team (points against per game) – Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers, 59


  • Best Point Differential (total points) – Hofbrauhaus Buffalo, +113
  • Best Point Differential (points per game) – Matty’s Angels, +43.0
  • Best Non-Gender Point Differential (points per game) – Hofbrauhaus Buffalo, +37.7


  • Worst Point Differential (total points) – Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers, -125
  • Worst Point Differential (points per game) – Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers, -41.7
  • Longest Current Win Streak – Marketing Mayors, 8
  • Longest Current Losing Streak – 3rd & Schlong, 6


We’ve gone three weeks without a chart here, so we’re way overdue.  Here are your best and worst offenses in the League after three weeks, sorted by Points Per Game.  Three of the top four best offenses belong to our gender teams – crazy to think that of the 44 other teams in the League, only one (Over Compensators) can claim that they’re outscoring a gender team right now, and even they are nearly 15 points per game behind Matty’s Angels.



And the same as above, but for each division:



As we pointed out last season, most teams score between 20-40 points per game (every team in D1, for example), so if you’re doing better than that, you’re in great company: all three gender teams, Over Compensators, All We Do Is Quinn, Hofbrauhaus Buffalo and Peachy Platoon are the only teams in the 40+ Club at this point in the season.  And if you’re scoring under 20 points per game… well, that’s less elite company.  A trio of struggling D2 teams (Bullet Club, Energy Buff, We Back), Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers, Come from Behind, Pink Pteratacos and Shattered Dreams make up our Under 20 Club, but most of those teams are just one solid outing away from offensive respectability.




If you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (don’t like the way we handled the #10 spot this week?  not enough D5/D6 coverage?  too much anti-gender team discrimination in “Best Team/Worst Team” section?), please send complaints to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.


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