WEEK 5 POWER RANKINGS

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Wednesday, 28 May 2025 17:39

Published: Wednesday, 28 May 2025 17:39

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 671

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings! 

We’ve been doing this article since the Spring of 2019… six years and change, without ever missing a week (take THAT, Sentinel!).  Just for fun, here is our FIRST ever Power Rankings from Spring 2019.  Some of these names may look familiar, while others have long since faded from the League.  Let’s see what they’re up to these days!

10. Patrick “Topper” McGovern – The TSL’s most successful business owner, dog owner, and part-time podcast host, our hero is living his life of semi-retirement from football in style. Ask him about his Tim Horton’s empire!

9. Ricky Austin – Living in Atlanta, we’re told. Doesn’t B’s Brother go down to Atlanta a lot? Wonder if these guys hang out.

8. Joey Batts – Gryffindor may be dead, but Joey Batts is not. Legends and Cunning Stunts are now two of the greatest teams in the League, and Joey has been a mainstay in our Rankings since Day One

7. Matt Glowacki – Hasn’t played in the League in years. Any relation to Zach from Freeballers?

6. Alex Buchlis – Still throwing touchdowns to Dave Baker every week, just like in 2019. Some things never change.

5. Matt Newman – Gone.

4. Matty “Ice” DiTullio – Matty “retired” from football after winning the D2 championship with A&A, and spends his time dealing comic book art and traveling the world with his former D1 MVP wife. This guy’s got it all figured out.

3. Greg Chadwick –Hasn’t played in the League in forever. This guy made our first ever power rankings as an injury replacement QB for a team called Eyes Downtown where he lasted for four weeks before being replaced by some guy called… looking it up now… Bobby McConnell? Are we saying that right?

2. Brandt Dubey – Still great after all these years. Dubey still stars at QB for various teams now and then (Grover’s, Toppers All-Stars & Todd, DILFS etc). We haven’t seen the last of him.

1. Chris Cole – Won five D1 championships, retired on top. There was a rumor he moved to Iowa and still writes an article for the TSL every week, but that can’t be true… can it?

But enough about those has-beens!  Let’s take a look at the current crop of superstars in our QB Power Rankings:

#1 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week:  Beat Frodo Swaggins 34-16, beat Sticky Bandits 31-23

Two teams will get a bye in the D1 playoffs.  By defeating Frodo Swaggins and Sticky Bandits on Saturday, Eyes Downtown picked up some crucial tiebreakers in the fight for a week off.  Bobby is 4-1 this session and the ONLY quarterback to have beaten Legends this year (or even including last Fall, actually).

#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week:  Beat Freeballers 41-16 (Legends), beat Buffalo Vice 55-38 (Stunts)

Legends haven’t mathematically locked up a first round bye in the playoffs yet… but it’s pretty darn close.  If they win one of their last two games (What a Dump or a D2 crossover game) they should be a lock for the #1 seed.  Lose both, and it’s POSSIBLE they could drop to #3, but very, very unlikely.  Also that D2 crossover game is looking more and more like it’ll be Can’t Touch This, which is suddenly a much harder game than anyone would have guessed a month ago.  Also the Stunts have gone from last place a couple weeks ago to middle of the pack in D3.  Can’t wait to see the Godfather’s final playoff odds for this team.

#3 Mike Thomas – Sticky Bandits

Last Week:  Lost to Eyes Downtown 31-23

The Sticky Bandits could have put themselves in the drivers seat for a #2 seed and first round bye by beating Eyes Downtown on Saturday, but they came up 8 points short.  Fortunately they play Eyes Downtown AGAIN this weekend so they’ll have another chance to tip the scales on the D1 tiebreakers.  Does a first round bye matter in D1?  Freeballers (the team the #3 seed will face in the first round) are more capable than their 0-6 record suggests, so yes, we think the bye matters.

#4 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week:  Beat Mavericks 45-6

Can’t Touch This live up to their name, as they truly cannot be touched in D2 right now.  With respect to the Malones, the Mavericks were their closest competition, and Ryan annihilated them on Saturday.  Yes, their offense is the best in the TSL, but can you believe they’ve only allowed 31 points ON THE SEASON?  Two of their five games were forfeit wins, it’s true, but their other three games they allowed 0 points, 6 points and 25 points… and that last game they won by almost 30.  None of these games have been close.  Crown them already, and move them up to D1.

#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week:  Lost to Eyes Downtown 34-16

We believe in Frodo Swaggins.  They kicked ass in the playoffs last Fall, and they might be the smartest play callers in the league on both sides of the ball.  But it’s a little troubling for them that so far their offense has put up 36, 40 and 41 points against Freeballers and What a Dump this season… and only 8, 8 and 16 against Legends, Sticky Bandits and Eyes Downtown.  Those are the three teams they’ll need to beat in the playoffs to make the championship game, so at some point they’ll need to find an extra gear against the top teams.

#6 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No game for the Wanderers this week.  A loss by PWI means Wanderers are the only undefeated team left in D3. 

#7 Cody Stumpf – What a Dump

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No game for What a Dump this week.  They seem to have a bye week or a doubleheader every week this season.

#8 Rhace Colon – The Malones

Last Week:  Beat Show Me Your TDs 71-0

Not much to write about Show Me Your TDs games, so we won’t bother.  The Malones are a one score game away from a perfect record this season, which is great… but their last three games of the season are Mavericks, Can’t Touch This, and then some D1 team.  Will they be the favorites in any of those?

#9 Jordan Lawson – Freeballers / Mavericks

Last Week:  Lost to Legends 41-16 (Freeballers), lost to Can’t Touch This 45-6

Freeballers was always going to be a bit of an experiment.  With a new QB in a stacked division, we don’t think too many people were betting on them to win more than a couple games this regular season.  Mavericks however are the defending D2 champions.  It’s strange to see them sitting at .500 at this point in the season, and we STILL don’t know how good they are.  They’re +17 on the season, which would drop to -56 if we threw out their 73-0 win over Show Me Your TDs… but THAT would increase to +12 if we threw out their two losses to invincible Can’t Touch This, who seem out of everyone’s league right now.

#10 Brandon “B” Ford – Practice Squad / Tater Tots

Last Week:  Beat Passing While Intoxicated 46-30 (Practice Squad)

Practice Squad started the season 0-2.  They’ve won three games since then, and now they’re sitting at second place (if you believe our Standings page anyway) in their division.  This team kind of reminds us of a D3 Sticky Bandits: smart enough at QB to win just about any game, but average enough athletically that they could lose any game too.  The difference maker is going to have to be B if they’re going to take a shot at the Championship, and we feel like he’s up to the challenge.

#11 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week:  Beat Scared Hitless 29-22

The Jabronies have won two games this season, and both have been against Scared Hitless.  We’re not sure if that says more about Jabronies, or more about Scared Hitless.  Do we think Jabronies can take Can’t Touch This?  Not really.  We don’t think anyone can.  But the Mavericks game should be competitive, and Show Me Your TDs will be a blow-out.  Jabronies can absolutely be a .500 team going into the playoffs, and that should be enough to lock up a winnable first round matchup (either Scared Hitless Round 3, or Show Me Your TDs)

#12 Buddy Lee – Passing While Intoxicated / Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

Last Week:  Lost to Practice Squad 46-30 (PWI)

So Passing While Intoxicated CAN lose a game!  We’re not sure what Practice Squad did to limit Buddy to only 30 points, but it seems to have worked.  PWI is one of the most dynamic offenses in the League.  We still think the D3 finals will be PWI vs Wanderers, but last weekend’s game reminded us all that anyone can win or lose on any given Saturday.

#13 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week:  Lost to Jabronies 29-22

Scared Hitless have one high quality win this season against the Malones… and four losses as well (including one to the Malones that wasn’t very close).  We don’t know the ins and outs of their roster every week (are they having attendance issues?) but just based on what we’re seeing from the scores, it’s hard to predict they’ll go on a run and beat three teams in a row in the playoffs.

#14 Alex Buchlis – Becca Gets Reccked

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No Buchlis at the fields this week, Becca Gets Reccked beat DXYZ with Buddy Lee throwing.

#15 Derek Pew - 716

Last Week:  Beat Bullet Club 20-14

Twenty points isn’t what Derek is used to putting up (716 have put up at least 33 points every other week) but a win’s a win, and 716 is 3-2 right now after beating Bullet Club this week.  There are only four teams with a winning record in D3 today, and 716 is one of them.  Derek improved Vaspian last session, and he’s doing great work with this “new” team this Spring.

#16 Andy Clark – Buffalo Vice

Last Week:  Beat Bullet Club 46-34, lost to Cunning Stunts 55-38

46 points in a win and 38 points in a loss – what a “Buffalo Vice” day that is.  Have these guys ever played a game where every team didn’t put up at least 30 points? (Okay don’t look that up, we know Wanderers held them to 22 points five weeks ago… our point is that they usually score a lot). Andy Clark leads one of the most exciting offenses in the League.

#17 Dylan Jaloza – Bullet Club

Last Week:  Lost to 716 20-14, lost to Buffalo Vice 46-34

Bullet Club won on opening day of the season against Practice Squad… and they haven’t won a game since.  We can’t really blame it on the schedule either - they’re the only D3 team NOT scheduled to play Wanderers this season.  The loss of George Lombardo certainly isn’t helping (we’re sure that Scared Hitless would agree with that too) but they’ve got to a find a way to steal a possession or two to close out these close games if they want to rebound in time for playoffs.

#18 Damien Keller – D-Generation X Y and Z

Last Week:  Lost to Becca Gets Reccked 38-34

D-Generation X Y and Z are tied for the worst record in D3 right now at 1-4.  The bottom four teams in the division will have to win play-in games just to make the playoffs, and DXYZ are very likely to fall into that category.  The good news is, they don’t have another opponent on their regular season schedule with a winning record right now, so it’s not too late to go on a run and build some momentum.

#19 Matt Kieta - GirthQuakes

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No game for GirthQuakes this week.  Still the best team name in the League.

#20 Kyle Conniff – PowerPuff Girls

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No game for PowerPuff Girls this week.  With two bye weeks and Kyle missing a doubleheader, PPG will go almost four straight weeks without their starting QB.

Fancy Statistics Section

Last week we looked at the "ten best and ten worst" teams in the TSL across a few different categories.  It's fun to see who's much better than everyone else, or who's lagging way behind... but what about all those teams in the middle that don't get to see their names listed?  Maybe a bit dull for them.  So, this is an updated point differential graph showing EVERY team in the TSL, as of today.  And instead of grouping every division together, we'll split each division up so you can see how you stack up against your competition.  As always, green is good, red is bad.  Enjoy!

It’s drawn to scale as always… except that I’m cutting off four teams a bit to make the other 44 easier to read.  Can’t Touch This is a graph breaking +44.0 PPG, followed by Malones at +31.3 PPG.  And on the other end of the spectrum, poor Cobblestone is -36.7 PPG and Show Me Your TDs are (gulp) -69.3 PPG.  No point in distorting the graph just to show those four teams accurately.

***

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  If you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 3 POWER RANKINGS

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Tuesday, 13 May 2025 14:29

Published: Tuesday, 13 May 2025 14:29

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 1050

POWER RANKINGS

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings! 

Is Darryl Carr finally in the top fifteen this week??? Let’s find out!

#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week:  Beat Sticky Bandits 38-20, beat Legends 47-42 (Legends), lost to Wanderers 62-45 (Stunts)

Cunning Stunts are winless and in last place in their division.  We have never typed that sentence before.  Legends are undefeated and in first place in their division.  We have typed THAT sentence many, many times before.  We’ll probably type it again next week.  This is why you don’t overreact and move someone out of the #1 spot too early…

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week:  Lost to Legends 47-42

It’s pretty amazing how Eyes Downtown lost 90% of their team in the offseason, and then built an equally good one in the span of a few weeks.  Okay, their defense is not nearly as good it seems, but Bobby hasn’t slowed down at all with these receivers.  Could we really see some brand new faces in the D1 championship game this session?

#3 Mike Thomas – Sticky Bandits

Last Week:  Lost to Legends 38-20

The Sticky Bandits came up short against Legends last week, just as they did in the D1 championship game last Fall.  If it’s any consolation for Sticky Nation, do they realize who the last team was that actually BEAT the Legends?  Yes, it was the Sticky Bandits back in the Spring 2024 Finals.  So they know they can do it, they just need about every close ball to go their way.

#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week:  Beat Freeballers 36-14

Frodo Swaggins is sitting pretty at 3-1 and they need only one more win to lock up a non-losing season.  We keep saying they’re ready to take the next step into the upper echelon of D1 teams – beating Sticky Bandits and Eyes Downtown over the next couple of weeks is the way to do that, and the way for Garrett to leapfrog the two names above him on this list.

#5 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week:  Beat Mavericks 54-25

Ryan Dougherty potentially could have been even HIGHER on these Power Rankings, if Can’t Touch This had taken the plunge and jumped up to D1 this offseason.  There’s no doubt they’re ready for it, and although we can’t blame for wanting to win their division first (who wouldn’t?), they also can’t blame US for ranking four D1 quarterbacks ahead of Ryan.  Gotta compete against the best to be the best.

#6 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week:  Beat Cunning Stunts 62-45

Speaking of quarterbacks and teams that could be playing in higher divisions, how about those Wanderers?  Undefeated at the halfway mark of their season, averaging 47 points per game… do we really feel like this isn’t a D2 team?  We might… MIGHT… just bet on them to beat D2 Show Me Your TDs at least.  How would they fare against Can’t Touch This, Mavericks or the Malones?  Not too bad, we’re thinking.

#7 Jordan Lawson – Freeballers / Mavericks

Last Week:  Lost to Frodo Swaggins 36-14 (Freeballers), lost to Can’t Touch This 54-25 (Mavericks)

Frodo Swaggins is a quality loss these days.  It must be frustrating for Freeballers that they’re 0-4 at this point, but three of their next four games are winless team, Legends, winless team, D2 crossover game.  So they do have a chance to improve.  For Mavericks, expectations are certainly higher, and there are only a couple big games circled on their schedules.  Losing handily to Can’t Touch This isn’t what the defending D2 champs were hoping for going into last week.

#8 Rhace Colon – The Malones

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No game for The Malones this week, after Show Me Your TDs forfeited.  We have so many things we could have said about that game, but we’ll keep them to ourselves.

#9 Cody Stumpf – What a Dump

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No game for What a Dump this week as their backloaded schedule has them at only 0-2 so far in the season. 

#10 Alex Buchlis – Becca Gets Reccked

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No game for Becca Gets Reccked this week… and least not one that counted?

#11 Derek Pew - 716

Last Week:  Beat Buffalo Vice 38-36

716 certainly had their doubters going into this season, but they’ve quieted a lot of them with a stronger than expected 2-1 start.  Yeah, their defense could be better, but we’re not Power Ranking defenses are we?

#12 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week:  Beat Scared Hitless 44-14

Joe Miano somehow fell off our radar last week.  How was the current D3 champion not ranked in the Top 15?  Well, here you are Joe.  You just smoked Scared Hitless by 30 points; you probably deserve to be Top 12 if not better.  There’s a lot of talk of D2 being “two tiers” right now, and people do not say that favorably about Jabronies.  But they just COMFORTABLY beat Scared Hitless and they’re miles ahead of Show Me Your TDs… is it possible that they’re an upper tier D2 team and we just haven’t realized it yet?  Ask us again next week after their Mavericks rematch.

 #13 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week:  Lost to Jabronies 44-14

This just isn’t a great start to the season for Scared Hitless.  Injuries have played a big part; these guys were on the doorstep of a D1 finals game once, the talent is clearly there!  They’ll have to dig deep to make a playoff run, since the regular season doesn’t seem like it’ll be too kind to Dylan and crew.

#14 Buddy Lee – Passing While Intoxicated / Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No games for Buddy Lee this week, as PWI won with a sub and ILF won with a forfeit.

#15 Brandon “B” Ford – Practice Squad / Tater Tots

Last Week:  Beat D-Generation X Y and Z 28-15 (Practice Squad), lost to Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks 22-15 (Tater Tots)

Practice Squad got their first W of the season in resounding fashion, and somehow that was enough in the confusing world of the D3 standings to vault from “winless” to “ahead of six other teams in the standings”.  The Tots are also 1-2, but they’re towards the back end of the D4 standings.  Why is their offense so anemic?  It looks like they have some weapons on that roster.

Fancy Statistics Section

ONE MORE WEEK until you get fancy statistics (although even then, we'll tell you the sample size is too small to be meaningful).  In the meantime, here is a Power Ranking of our ten favorite team names in the TSL:

10. What a Dump
11. Interdimensional Lightning Falcons
12. Raw Milkers
13. Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks
14. Cunning Stunts
15. PowerPuff Girls
16. Sticky Bandits
17. D-Generation X Y and Z
18. Sausage McMuffins
19. GirthQuakes

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  If you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 4 POWER RANKINGS

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Tuesday, 20 May 2025 16:41

Published: Tuesday, 20 May 2025 16:41

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 797

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings! 

As Jack Reacher once said before fighting five guys (or was it three? Two of them always run away…), “okay, now we know who’s who”.  We’re at the midpoint of the TSL Spring season, and we FINALLY feel like we know who’s who.  No more hiding behind an easy start to the schedule, no more excuses for a tough slate of games the first couple of weeks.  You are who you are at this point.  We SEE you.  We JUDGE you.  We RANK you.

So below you’ll find the Top TWENTY quarterbacks in the TSL.  And yes, it’s Week Four, so that means you FINALLY get a fancy chart too.

Enjoy!

#1 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week:  Beat Legends 39-37

Two weeks ago, Legends beat Eyes Downtown.  Last week Eyes Downtown beat Legends.  Why is this enough for Bobby to take Joey’s spot at the top of the Power Rankings?  Legends is the most established and talented team in the League.  A few weeks ago, no one had ever heard of most of Bobby’s teammates.  It’s impressive!  Bobby gets the nod this week at #1.

#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week:  Beat What a Dump 36-12, lost to Eyes Downtown 39-37 (Legends), beat Becca Gets Reccked 44-26 (Stunts)

Imagine winning 15 games in a row for your D1 team, and then getting demoted in the Power Rankings when you FINALLY lose a game.  Doesn’t feel fair right?  Legends will be fine – barring a weird collapse (maybe Jeremy Burr demands to be starting Qb, and it fragments the team?) they’ll get a first round bye in the playoffs and be back in the D1 Championship game for a seventh consecutive season.  Oh, and the Stunts got their first ever D3 win this week.  Joey’s doing JUST FINE thanks.

#3 Mike Thomas – Sticky Bandits

Last Week:  Beat Frodo Swaggins 14-8

Fourteen is NOT a lot of points, but a win’s a win and the Sticky Bandits are 3-1 with Eyes Downtown right around the corner.  They’re never the trendy pick to win the division, but they’ve been in the last two D1 Finals so they always seem to figure something out in time for playoffs.  Mike is still the man… if Sticky Nation’s defense is as good as we saw last week, they might have a better shot than people think.

#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week:  Lost to Sticky Bandits 14-8

Holding a great team to 14 points defensively is a great accomplishment.  Or at least it would have felt like a great accomplishment, if Frodo hadn’t scored only 8 themselves and lost.  Maybe this is what happens when two teams have played each other so many times and know all of each other’s tricks?  Frodo falls to 3-2 on the season, but the two teams they’re battling in the race for a playoff bye week are the two teams they face the next couple weeks, so at least they have some control over their fate.

#5 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week:  Did Not Play

Can’t Touch This has played one competitive game this season and one slaughter.  They’ve looked great in both, but is all this time off with bye weeks and forfeits going to hurt them down the line?

#6 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week:  Beat D-Generation X Y and Z 35-16

When was the last time the Wanderers lost a game?  Last Fall’s semifinals vs Passing While Intoxicated, we’re pretty sure.  And hey, PWI is the other undefeated team in D3 right now!  Division 3 has been the most wide open division in the TSL for the last few years now.  Is it turning into a two horse race now with Wanderers and PWI?  Ten teams, and somehow they’re the only two in the division that are over .500…

#7 Jordan Lawson – Freeballers / Mavericks

Last Week:  Lost to What A Dump 36-25 (Freeballers)

Freeballers losses this season: by 7, by 13, by 4, by 22, by 11.  No, we don’t have high hopes for them against Legends this week (our guess is a 30 point loss) but What A Dump is a winnable rematch in their next game.  And after that it’s the D2 crossover game vs… (checks current standings…) Show Me Your TDs?  There’s a VERY real chance that Freeballers finish the season with a positive point differential!

#8 Cody Stumpf – What a Dump

Last Week:  Beat Freeballers 36-25, lost to Legends 36-12

What a Dump locked up their first win of the season (or really, their first win ever) on Saturday in a battle of D1 winless teams, before dropping one to Legends.  No shame in that, everyone loses to Legends.  Any team with a new quarterback has to be patient as he develops… but how patient will THESE receivers be, since they’re used to being contenders every year?  Hopefully for Cody’s sake he gets at least a couple seasons to figure this starting QB thing out.

#9 Rhace Colon – The Malones

Last Week:  Lost to Scared Hitless 43-34

We understand the argument about the two tiers of teams in D2.  Can’t Touch This, Mavericks and Malones ARE essentially D1 teams, and Scared Hitless and Jabronies seem a step below them most of the time.  But last week was a great reminder: it’s not a very BIG step!  Scared Hitless (and Jabronies for that fact) ARE capable of winning games against The Big Three of D2, so no game should ever be considered “safe” in this division.  Other than Show Me Your TDs.  That feels pretty safe.

#10 Buddy Lee – Passing While Intoxicated / Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

Last Week:  Beat 716 57-34 (PWI), beat Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks 51-28 (ILF)

Buddy Lee dropped two 50 point games for two different teams last week and as a result we’ve got him sitting in the TSL Power Ranking’s Top Ten.  Interestingly EVERY person on our Committee had Buddy ranked tenth, which is unusual but makes us feel like we probably got this one right.  PWI and ILF are both in prime position to win their divisions, and the common denominator is their scrambling, hungover quarterback.

#11 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week:  Beat The Malones 43-34

Just when everyone (including us!) was ready to write Scared Hitless off, they pulled off a big win over a great team on Saturday.  These guys have experience, speed, a TOP notch female player, and they’ve played enough games to not get rattled by a slow start.  Their next two opponents are a combined 1-5, so this team could be looking at a .500 record again before long.

#12 Alex Buchlis – Becca Gets Reccked

Last Week:  Lost to Cunning Stunts 44-26

After the top two teams in D3, the other eight are kind of a jumbled mess.  Becca Gets Reccked are 1-2 after losses to the Stunts and Wanderers, and attendance seems like it could be an issue for them again this session.  If this team is as good as we think they are, we would expect to see wins over Degeneration X Y and Z and GirthQuakes over the next couple of weeks.  They’re really going to have step up their play by June 7^th though if they want to have a chance against PWI.

#13 Brandon “B” Ford – Practice Squad / Tater Tots

Last Week:  Beat GirthQuakes 26-22 (Practice Squad), beat Mike’s Detailing 39-22, beat Come From Behind 40-22 (Tater Tots)

B’s teams gave up 22 points defensively in all three games he played on Saturday.  His offenses scored MORE than 22 each time, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you get a 3-0 week (what a great example of the kind of brilliant insight that makes you want to read this article every week).  Both of B’s teams are in third place (yeah, D3 tiebreakers are weird right now) and it’s tough to say which one has a better path to a championship right now.  We’ll see Tater Tots, because they don’t have to beat Wanderers and PWI to win their division!

#14 Derek Pew - 716

Last Week:  Lost to PWI 57-34

716 is currently the sixth worst defense in the entire TSL (spoiler! We’re covering all of that stuff in the chart below the QB Rankings) as they’re allowing 39.75 PPG.  Woof.  Tough to win games when you need to put up forty every time just to have a chance.  716 is still a dangerous team when the whole roster shows up, but we’re not sure we’ve seen all of them play at once yet.

#15 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No game for Jabronies this week.  Happy Birthday-ish Joe Miano!

#16 Dylan Jaloza – Bullet Club

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No game for Bullet Club this week.  Including forfeits, they are now the ONLY team in the League to have only played two games at this point in the season.  So we have NO idea if we’re rating Dylan too high or too low!

#17 Andy Clark – Buffalo Vice

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No game for Buffalo Vice this week.  They’re in last place in the D3 standings, but they have two winnable games this weekend that could get them back over .500.

#18 Damien Keller – D-Generation X Y and Z

Last Week:  Lost to Wanderers 35-16

So many “middle of the pack” D3 teams, it was tough for us to figure out how to rank all these QBs!  Point differential, points scored, win-loss record, quality of opponent, quality of receivers… it’s like splitting hairs with most of these.  Is Damien better than Andy Clark?  Maybe.  Is he better than Matt Kieta?  Maybe.  Should we hold it against DXYZ that they have Katie Keller and Travis and they’re still only 1-3?  Maybe.

#19 Matt Kieta - GirthQuakes

Last Week:  Lost to Practice Squad 26-22

GirthQuakes are sixth in the D3 standings somehow, but they have the tenth best win percentage?  Make that make sense to us, PLEASE.  Throw out their two losses to the best two teams in D3 though, and they have a 2 point win, a 1 point loss, and a 4 point loss.  They’re really a very middle of the pack D3 team right now, we’re amazed that their record is what it is is at this point in the season.

#20 Kyle Conniff – PowerPuff Girls

Last Week:  Did Not Play

PowerPuff Girls went 2-0 on Saturday without Kyle.  Hey, we’re only ranking how great these QBs are, not how essential they are to their team’s success!

Fancy Statistics Section

Okay.  We're here.  We kept saying "you're not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, and even then, we'll tell you the sample size is too small to be meaningful".  Well, it's Week Four.  The sample size is TOO SMALL TO BE MEANINGFUL, but we'll give you some "fancy stats" anyway.

You've seen this chart before, but we always like to make it the first one (and last one) of the season.  Here are your best (and worst) offenses, defenses, and point differentials in the TSL through the first half of the season.  As always, forfeit games have been excluded from the numbers.

What did we learn?

For starters, Show Me Your TDs are significantly skewing the numbers by being outscored 137-0 through two games (they’ve had a bye week and a forfeit loss as well).  Not just the “worst team stats” listings, but also the two teams that have played against them are sitting pretty in the “best team stats” listings.  This might be a very talented team in the long run… but they did not belong in the same division as Can’t Touch This or Mavericks.

We also see that a gender team is near the top of the Best Offenses list, but for the first time in years, it’s NOT the Cunning Stunts!  PowerPuff Girls are also dominating the stats at the halfway mark of the season – this is another team that is maybe, probably, very likely playing in the wrong division in our mind.  Does anyone believe that they wouldn’t be at least a .500 team in D4?

When we think about teams that could (not SHOULD, but COULD) be playing up a division or down a division, we look at twenty as the magic (if not arbitrary) number: if you’re winning games by 20+ points on average (Can’t Touch This, PowerPuff Girls, Two Tuddies, Wanderers), you could probably be playing up a division.  If you’re losing by 20+ points on average (Mo’ Chicken, Cobblestone, Show Me Your TDs), you could probably be playing down a division.  Not to pile on Show Me Your TDs anymore than we already have, but they’re losing by an average of 68 points per game… if twenty is the magic number, then they could be playing down THREE divisions, which feels about right.

And how about Dogg Pound??  Last Fall they finished as the worst offense in the entire League.  Well, okay, they’re STILL in the bottom ten in offense in the League, but they are #1 in defense across all divisions!  That’s pretty cool, right? 

***

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  If you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 2 POWER RANKINGS

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Wednesday, 07 May 2025 19:58

Published: Wednesday, 07 May 2025 19:58

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 1089

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings! 

No graphs and visual wizardry for you yet of course (they’re coming soon!), but here are your Top FIFTEEN starting QBs in the TSL:

#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week:  Lost to GirthQuakes 30-28

Has there EVER been a #1 ranked Quarterback after two weeks who was still winless?  Joey is setting records, and not the kind he’s used to.  But word is he didn’t suit up for Legends this week, and the Stunts just suffered their first regular season loss in like THREE FULL SEASONS, so his spot on the top of this chart is definitely up for grabs.  We didn’t want to punish the guy after one loss in his last 32ish games (someone fact check that, it’s got to be the League record) so he keeps the top spot for at least one more week.

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week:  Did Not Play

A LOT of top talent didn’t have games this week, or were simply not at the fields.  Bobby is one of them.

#3 Mike Thomas – Sticky Bandits

Last Week:  Beat What A Dump 27-21

The good news for the Sticky Bandits: they’re still undefeated two games into the season, and on top of the early D1 standings.  The bad news: the teams they’ve beaten are a combined 0-5, so maybe they shouldn’t break out the champagne just yet?  We’ll know more about the quality of the team after next week’s Legends game.  Side note: it’s great to write “Legends” again instead of their other trolling team names.

#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week:  Beat Freeballers 41-37, lost to Legends 55-8

Much like the Sticky Bandits above, both of Frodo’s wins this season come against 0-5 Freeballers and What A Dump.  Neither of those teams are duds (What A Dump in particular should get decent odds to win D1 in a couple months, we’re thinking) but Frodo is still looking for a signature win against Legends, who they have (maybe? Possibly?) never beaten before.  Last week wasn’t a huge step forwards in that regard, as they got annihilated 55-8 by the Legends backup QB.  Hey, doubleheaders are tough.

#5 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week:  Beat Scared Hitless via forfeit

A LOT of top talent didn’t have games this week, or were simply not at the fields.  Ryan is one of them.  Due to an unexpected forfeit by Scared Hitless, CTT has now outscored their opponents 85-0 in the standings… without facing a “real” D2 team yet. 

#6 Jordan Lawson – Freeballers / Mavericks

Last Week:  Lost to Freeballers 41-37 (Freeballers), beat Jabronies 38-26, beat Show Me Your TDs (Mavericks)

We’re going to have to stop showing Show Me Your TDs scores in this article for a while, and when we start doing our graphs and charts etc we’re going to have to back those out too.  It’s no disrespect to say that they’re in the wrong division this season, and including their stats is VERY misleading for other teams.  So yes, the Mavericks beat them handily, but more impressively, they also beat a good Jabronies team.  And Freeballers ALMOST took a close one against Frodo Swaggins.  Freeballers are 0-3 right now, but they’ve been VERY competitive in all three games.  They’ll break through for a win sooner rather than later.

#7 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week:  Beat GirthQuakes 50-8

GirthQuakes looks like a pretty strong team in D3 this session.  So what does it say about the Wanderers that they destroyed them 50-8 on Saturday?  It’s not too “bold” a prediction to say we expect the Wanderers to win every week, but… we kind of expect them to win every week now.  Frank may have better chemistry with his receivers than any quarterback in the League right now (which isn’t surprising, since they’ve probably played together since the 1990s)

#8 Rhace Colon – The Malones

Last Week:  Beat Jabronies 38-7

New QB this session for the Malones, same results.  These guys have outscored their opponents 87-24 so far this season… and their next three games are Show Me Your TDs, injury ravaged Scared Hitless, and then Show Me Your TDs again.  They could be looking at a truly scary 240-38 point differential in a couple weeks if they keep it up.

#9 Cody Stumpf – What a Dump

Last Week:  Did Not Play

A LOT of top talent didn’t have games this week, or were simply not at the fields.  Cody is one of them.  They’ll build momentum eventually (this team is too good not to) but an early loss to Frodo and a game without their starting QB in week two doesn’t help.

#10 Alex Buchlis – Becca Gets Reccked

Last Week:  Did Not Play

A LOT of top talent didn’t have games this week, or were simply not at the fields.  Alex is one of them.

 #11 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week:  Lost via forfeit

A LOT of top talent didn’t have games this week, or were simply not at the fields.  Scared Hitless DID have a game, but they didn’t show up for it, so they took the forfeit L this week.

#12 Buddy Lee – Passing While Intoxicated / Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

Last Week:  Beat Bullet Club 42-25 (PWI), lost to Come From Behind 34-33

PWI had the first week of the season off, but the rust from an extra long offseason didn’t show.  There were rumors that Buddy was going to move up to a D2 team this offseason and it didn’t seem to happen, which is a shame.  There isn’t a division “too good” for this guy.  ILF surprisingly lost against the D5 champions (who were without their QB!) but take a look at the scoreboard and you’ll see it wasn’t Buddy’s fault… unless you blame him for not taking charge of that defense.

#13 Derek Pew - 716

Last Week:  Beat D-Generation X Y and Z 40-28

716 is an interesting team on paper, with outstanding male athletes and some newer female talent.  Their success (or failure) this season will likely come down to how well Derek Pew plays at the QB position, and so far the results have been strong.  716 has a 1-1 record, and they were one score away from going 2-0 with a win in their first game of the season.  Are they strong enough to beat the Wanderers in the playoffs?  Maybe, maybe not, but at least they have the talent to have a chance.

#14 Brandon “B” Ford – Practice Squad / Tater Tots

Last Week:  Lost to Buffalo Vice 38-37 (Practice Squad), beat Vaspian 20-6 (Tater Tots)

Practice Squad is in last place in D3 after two weeks, but don’t blame the offense, as they’re fourth (out of 10) in their division in scoring.  B knows how to get points, and eventually that will translate into wins.  The Tots on the other hand are struggling to score points so far, which could be weather related or could be talent related?  It’s too early to read much into any of these numbers, but that doesn’t mean we’re not trying!

#15 Dylan Jaloza – Bullet Club

Last Week:  Lost to Passing While Intoxicated 42-25

It’s no secret that TSL’s greatest division lately has been D3, and that’s because of all the parity.  Anyone can win any game, and five teams are already 1-1 with VERY similar stats.  It’s tough to split hairs at this point and rank one Quarterback above another, but 15^th is where we’re slotting Dylan for now.   

Fancy Statistics Section

Yeah, right.  You're not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, and even then we'll tell you the sample size is too small to be meaningful (yes, we're going to copy/paste this line next week too, so get used to it)

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  If you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  

What's YOUR ranking?