Week 5 Rankings

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Tuesday, 15 September 2020 17:52

Published: Tuesday, 15 September 2020 17:52

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 2648

"You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the end zone" - John Madden, certified football genius

Welcome back to Week Five of the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  Here's what we've got for you this week:

• Weekly News
• QB Power Rankings - Top 10 in detail, and a blurb on the next 5 as well
• Team Stats - our first charts of the 2020 season!
• Final Observations

Weekly News

The Godfather already broke the story last week (TSL QB Rankings had unfortunately already gone to press) but our Rankings will look a little different this week without Dean Thompson of Peachy Platoon fame.  The #4 ranked QB in the TSL now has work commitments on Saturdays and we hear he won't be back until Spring.  Tough loss for the League, as Dean was not only a top QB but an elite defender and one of the nicest people to play the game.  He'll be missed this session, though maybe not by the D2 teams that had to play against him.  Dean's replacement's name is Sam, and we don't know much about him yet.  You won't see his name in the Rankings below (losing your debut 52-23 is not the best way to get ranked) but he's surrounded by some of the best young athletes in the League so might just be a matter of time.  Best of luck to Sam and the rest of Peachy - Dean's going to be a tough one to replace.

We're starting to think there's something cursed about that #4 spot.  First Matty leaves, and now Dean.  Does no one want to step up and complete the Mount Rushmore of TSL Quarterbacking??  We're not sure anyone else in the Top Ten is really ready to etch their face into the mountain quite yet, but time will tell.

QB Power Rankings

Here are the Week Five Rankings, with a Bonus #11-15 shown in the chart below.  Without Dean, all the other active QBs (the winning ones, at least) generally slotted up a spot this week in the Power Rankings. 

#1 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown, The Angels - Previous Rank (#1)

Last Week:  Beat Marketing Mayors 38-21 (Eyes Downtown), beat Over Compensators 53-32 and Family Feud and Some Dudes 51-30 (The Angels)

The Headline:  The number one QB in the Power Rankings remains unbeaten - top spot unchallenged this week

The Stat:  Bobby is now 6-0 between both of his teams this season, and is averaging 43.5 ppg

Next Week: Jabronies in D2 Crossover Game (Eyes Downtown), Buffalo Solar Solutions (The Angels)

#2 Chris Cole - Public Enemy - Previous Rank (#2)

Last Week:  Beat Marketing Mayors 41-13, beat Tight Ends in Motion 30-29

The Headline:  Public Enemy overcomes significant personnel absences, remains undefeated atop the D1 standings

The Stat:  Chris and Bobby are still 0-0 against each other this season, as the national sporting community holds its collective breath for the eventual clash of titans

Next Week: Slytherin That End Zone in D2 Crossover Game

#3 Mark Dalfonso - Marketing Mayors - Previous Rank (#3)

Last Week:  Lost to Eyes Downtown 38-21, lost to Public Enemy 41-13

The Headline:  Marketing Mayors does NOT overcome personnel absences in brutal schedule against top two D1 teams; Dalfonso not punished in Rankings for losing to QBs already ranked ahead of him

The Stat:  Marketing Mayors are scoring only 23 PPG, worse than every other D1 team but newcomers Why So Serious?  Is it the schedule, or is something wrong here?

Next Week: Dilfs in D2 Crossover Game (which would just be a D1 game if Dilfs had moved up when they won the D2 title...)

#4 Matt Newman - Slytherin That End Zone - Previous Rank (#5)

Last Week: Beat Hofbrauhaus Buffalo 31-22

The Headline:  Winners keep winning as SITE remains the only undefeated D2 team, and losers keep losing (Topper 0-8 on the season, plummets in QB Rankings)

The Stat:  Slytherin third in D2 in scoring behind Jabronies and Sticky Bandits, but first in defense.  Winning because of Newman or in spite of him??  Critics want to see more before engraving his face on Mount Rushmore of TSL QBs.

Next Week: Public Enemy in D1 Crossover Game

#5 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits - Previous Rank (#6)

Last Week: Beat Morning Wood 37-31

The Headline:  Sticky Nation is (surprisingly?) one of three teams in D2 with a winning record, and their only loss came against a now-inactive Dean Thompson.

The Stat:  Every Sticky Bandits game this season has been within one score, proving these guys can hang with (or potentially lose to) anyone.

Next Week: Gryffindor in D1 Crossover Game

#6 Vince Taverna - All We Do is Quinn - Previous Rank (#7)

Last Week: Beat Frodo Swaggins 40-38

The Headline:  Quinn wins the Frodo Swaggins grudge match/D3 Championship preview, remains undefeated.  Vince looks fantastic in winning effort, plays other unbeaten D3 team Grey Hair - Don't Care next week.  

The Stat:  This balanced AWDIQ team has the second best Offense, second best Defense, and the very best Point Differential in D3.

Next Week: Untouchaballs, Grey Hair - Don't Care

#7 Joey Batts - Gryffindor, Cunning Stunts - Previous Rank (#10)

Last Week: Beat Why So Serious 44-26 (Gryffindor), beat Vaspian 36-26, lost to Family Feud and Some Dudes (Cunning Stunts)

The Headline:  Gryffindor re-writes early season team narrative with win, now owns third best offense, defense, point differential, and record in D1.  Stunts go 1-1, including surprising loss to TSL newcomers Family Feud and Some Dudes.

The Stat:  Gryffindor wins their first ever pure D1 regular season game. We looked it up - they had previously won two D1/D2 crossover games, including a win over D2 Dilfs on August 31st 2019 (while Gryffindor was in D1) and a win over D1 #XTC@Angry Buffalo on June 8th 2019 (while Gryffindor was in D2).  And they beat Marketing Mayors in the first round of the Fall 2019 Playoffs, which is when you want to be winning games anyway.  But this was the first regular season D1 vs D1 win we could find.  The new Gryffindor is trending up.

Next Week: Sticky Bandits (Gryffindor), Freeballers, Over Compensators (Cunning Stunts)

#8 Scott Drosendahl - Frodo Swaggins - Previous Rank (#8)

Last Week: Lost to AWDIQ 40-38

The Headline:  Quinn wins the Frodo Swaggins grudge match/D3 Championship preview (yeah, we copy/pasted that from above).  Somebody had to lose that game, and unfortunately for Scotty, it was Swaggins.

The Stat:  Frodo Swaggins is still the highest scoring team in the League at 48.7 PPG.  They are also the 35th ranked defense at 35.7 PPG allowed.  To quote Scotty Ballgame himself, "we're handing out 36 PPG like I'm dong this shit for charity.  IT ENDS NOW".  No comment from defensive scapegoat Garrett Beesing as of yet.

Next Week: Grey Hair - Don't Care

#9 Alex Buchlis - Tight Ends in Motion - Previous Rank (#9)

Last Week: Lost to Public Enemy 30-29

The Headline:  TEIM couldn't get past a short handed Public Enemy team for their first win of the season (although how "short handed" can a team really be with arguably the league's best QB AND best non-QB in Boccio?) 

The Stat:  The Tight Ends defense is second worst in D1, and only 0.3 PPG better than newcomers Why So Serious?  Is something wrong here, or is that just a product of starting their season against Eyes Downtown and Public Enemy?  If TEIM doesn't right the ship defensively, it's going to put a lot of pressure on Alex and the O to keep up.

Next Week: Bullet Club in D2 Crossover Game

#10 Joe Miano - Jabronies - Previous Rank (#13)

Last Week: Beat Dilfs 36-20, beat Peachy Platoon 52-23

The Headline:  Jabronies vaulted from middle of the pack to second best record in D2 by beating the reigning champ Dilfs and crushing the Dean-less Peachy Platoon.  Their reward - a juicy D1 ladder match against Eyes Downtown next week.

The Stat:  It's a little skewed from dropping 50+ against a suddenly vulnerable Peachy team, but Jabronies are now the highest scoring team in D2 at 36.75 PPG.  Joe Miano was QBing in D6 literally two sessions ago, and now he's leading D2.  Don't be afraid to swing big, kids.

Next Week: Eyes Downtown in D1 Crossover Game

A few quick hits on the QBs on the verge of cracking the Top Ten... but not quite there yet:

#11 Brandt Dubey - FINALLY we get to rank a Dilfs QB.  They've always been good, they just seem to shuffle around too much for us to commit to one in our rankings.  Dubey went 1-1 this week, dropping the Jabronies game 36-20 and then beating Bullet Club 27-15.  Dubey is one of only five QBs in the history of our Power Rankings to ever crack the Top Two.

#12 David Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care are still undefeated and they play BOTH of the D3 Superpowers this week in AWDIQ and Frodo Swaggins.  Win them both and Eickhoff will absolutely punch his ticket back to the Top Ten.

#13 Pete Nguyen - Didn't see Pete at the fields on Saturday.  Absence makes him drop one spot to #13 this week.

#14 Tim Zielinski  - Uncle Rico's Time Travelers were the hottest team in the TSL the second half of last Fall, and even though it's nearly a year later they've picked up right where they left off.  URTT are the third highest scoring team in the TSL behind only Frodo Swaggins and The Angels, and Tim has been described as "a prolific pocket passer [with] great accuracy. He utilizes all of his receivers and is a great game manager".  The Time Travelers are also 2-1 in a very competitive division.

#15 Ricky Austin - Ricky lost a heated game to Dilf's this week, and Bullet Club is middle of the pack in D2 right now.  They'll need Good Ricky next week if they want to have a shot of winning a D1 Crossover Game.

Team Stats

Here are the ten best and ten worst teams in the League across ALL divisions for Offense, Defense, and overall Point Differential (+/-).  We'll do a divisional breakdown some other week.

Final Observations:

• Mountain Dew Me is now 3-0, with the fourth best offense in the League, the best defense, and by FAR the best total point differential.  They're averaging a 42-6 win per week.  They've allowed three total scores on the season, and they have given up exactly zero extra points.  Mountain Dew QB Cody McGregor has been described as "the youngest of the four brothers, made from the leftovers.  Fueled by Bud Light and McChicken Sandwiches.  Moved from receiver to QB due to lack of speed in his legs, that he makes up for with power in his arm".  Can we push them up a division mid-season?  We'd say they have D5 locked up already... except Practice Squad is ALSO undefeated, and is second in the League to Mountain Dew Me in both defense and point differential.  
• Other than Mountain Dew Me, All We Do Is Quinn and Eyes Downtown were the only teams to make all three Top Ten lists at this point in the season.  TOX, Why So Serious?, Intentional Pounding, and Interdimensional Lightning Falcons made all three Bottom Ten lists.
• Although they've done well enough on the offensive side of the ball, Family Feud and Some Dudes have given up nearly 54 PPG on defense.  That means the gap between them and the second worst defense (12.08 PPG) is larger than the gap between the second worst defense and the 22nd worst defense.  Yikes.
• There are 9 undefeated teams left in the League.  There are 7 winless teams remaining.
• Poor Intentional Pounding.  Second worst offense in the League.  Tied for second worst defense in the League.  Unsurprisingly, worst point differential in the League.  Can't be fun losing games by an average of 26 points per week.  And yet somehow they're not on the winless list, having beaten TOX already.  Damn, Topper, get your shit together.

As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher?  the green/red coloring on that chart was gaudy and you expected better of us?  you demand more Mount Rushmore artwork?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..   Remember, with the COVID regulations we have in place at the fields this year, it's a lot harder for spectators to watch games... which means it's a lot harder for the people on the QB Committee to watch your games.  If we're not writing about the action in your games, odds are we didn't see it.  Please email us to tell us what you're seeing out there - make our lives that much easier.

What's YOUR ranking?

TSL QB Power Rankings - Week One

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Thursday, 20 August 2020 16:41

Published: Thursday, 20 August 2020 16:41

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 2661

The longest offseason in League history is over, and the first week of the 2020 COVID Comeback Season is now in the books.  We've got some new faces in the QB mix this year, and we've got some legends of the TSL returning for another shot at Power Rankings glory.  Each week we'll be reporting on the best of the best (or the worst of the worst, if we feel like shaming someone) so stay tuned and see how your QB stacks up.

The first week of any season is always the hardest to rank and causes the most arguments amongst the QB Power Rankings Committee.  You've got QBs who haven't even played a game yet; you've got people playing their first ever game at QB, so you don't REALLY know how good they are yet; you've got people who had monster games against teams you THOUGHT were okay, but then turn out to be terrible a few weeks later.  So how do we do it?  

Rule #1: Don't overreact to Week One performances.  People rarely go from superstars to trash overnight, or vice versa.  If someone's worthy of a spot towards the top of the Power Rankings, they'll prove it over time.

Rule #2: Always ask yourself the question: Who would I rather have QBing my team in the big game?  If someone's lighting it up in D4, that doesn't necessarily mean I'd rather have them QBing my team than someone that's struggling in D1.  This isn't a ranking of "who had the best week" (the Mountain Dew Me QB would rank #1 for sure)... think of it more as a ranking of "who would you most want to fill in as your team's QB tomorrow?"

So let's get to it.  Here are your Top Ten:

We'll start with your Top Three, who barely played in Week One.  

Bobby McConnell (#1) had a bye week for Eyes Downtown, although he's now 1-0 as the starting QB of The (formerly Matty's) Angels.  It took a walk off SAFETY to get the W, and we're pretty sure they were blowing teams out of the water with Matty at QB, but regardless of how it happened, when your top ranked quarterback in the League starts the season undefeated it should be no surprise that he keeps his spot at the top.

Chris Cole (#2) led Public Enemy to a 38-20 win over D1 newcomers Why So Serious.  Not enough to vault him to #1 yet... but he has a solid chance to retake the #1 Ranking (which should be named after him, he's held it so often) when Public Enemy takes on Eyes Downtown in the biggest game of Week Two.

Mark Dalfonso (#3) and Marketing Mayors, much like most of D1, started the season with a bye.  With no Week One games between Bobby, Chris and Mark, there was very little chance that the Power Rankings Top Three were going to change this week.  These are the undisputed best in the League right now, and they're not going to get punished or rewarded until they've faced some real tests.  Don't like it?  Join D1 and beat them.

After the top three, it gets much harder - with stats-God Matty Ice in retirement for the session, the #4 ranking is suddenly WIDE open for the rest of the League.  It seemed like it was Topper's spot to lose this week, but then he went ahead and did just that, losing three games in a day between Hofbrauhaus Buffalo, TOX, and as a sub for Dilfs.  0-3 is not the way to climb the rankings, Mr Commissioner.  We guess long offseasons can be rough on a gentleman of your, uh, advanced age.  We'd have punished you in the Rankings more, but again, we try not to overreact to one bad week (see: Rule #1 above).  Still, if the trend keeps up, Topper (#5) will be out of the Top Ten in no time.

So if not Topper, then who gets the #4 spot?  We really agonized over this, as there's no obvious answer here.  You can argue the merits of any of the other contenders, but we felt like Dean Thompson (#4) deserved it the most.  Peachy Platoon actually LOST this week on a walk off TD to Bullet Club, but Dean has been consistently great since moving up to the higher divisions, and outside of the "Big Three" he's the QB we would most want to lead our team right now.  Congrats on failing your way to your highest ranking yet Dean!  

That's three rankings in a row for players who didn't win a single game this week.  Yikes.  Let's get to someone who actually did.  Matt Newman (#6) comes in next, having beaten Jabronies 33-22.  The Sentinel (ALWAYS WATCHING) says this game was "pick central" so we're not sure how much Newman really earned this win, but he must have done enough to get the W.  Slytherin plays Peachy Platoon next week so Matt has an outstanding chance to vault up the Power Rankings if he can take down Dean.  We'll be watching this one closely.

Mike Thomas (#7) of the Sticky Bandits makes his debut in the TSL Power Rankings this week.  As a rule we don't like to put "new" QBs in our Top Ten until we're sure they've earned it, but since Mike took over as starting QB in last Fall's playoffs Sticky Nation has been undefeated, winning three in a row to take the D3 title and then beating the D2 champs (short staffed as they were) in the first game of this season.  Every D2 team played exactly one game in Week One, and none finished with more points than the Sticky Bandits.

It's more a testament to the success Matt Newman and Mike Thomas had this week than anything Vince Taverna (#8) did wrong, as he slips one spot in the Power Rankings despite AWDIQ winning their D4 Crossover game this week.  Beating a team in the division below you that was allegedly missing their starting QB isn't the strongest "statement win" you can make, though that's hardly Vince's fault, as he can only beat whoever shows up to play against him (and he did).  AWDIQ and Frodo Swaggins seem like early favorites for the D3 title and we expect Vince to have plenty of chances to rise in the Rankings again.

Joey Batts (#9) rises one spot in the rankings despite having the week off, as a result of Matty Ice and Mike McKenrick no longer QBing teams this session.  Joey's always a tough one for us to rank - on the one hand we put a lot of emphasis on wins and stats, and Joey didn't have either of those last season.  On the other hand he's also not afraid to play against D1 competition, and he makes us think back to Rule #2 above: who would you rather have QBing for your team tomorrow?  You could argue all things equal that Joey should be ahead of Vince, or Mike, or Matt, or Topper, or Dean.  We expect Gryffindor to win more games this season which will make ranking Joey that much easier.

Finally another newcomer to the Top Ten this week.  Scotty Drosendahl (#10) has long been a favorite of this Committee, mostly because of the emails he sends us hyping up his own greatness and offering his thoughts on other QBs in the League (can we print his nicknames for other QBs?  we probably shouldn't).  He should really have his own article on the TSL website - believe us when we say you would read it every week.  But we're not adding Scott to our Top Ten because he's hilarious or because of his spectacular hair - we're adding him because Frodo Swaggins has the highest Points Per Game of any team in the top three divisions.  Scotty seems to get better all the time, and with his 40-26 win over Untouchaballs this week he's earned his way into the Top Ten QBs of the TSL.  Selfishly we hope he keeps winning, so we can keep writing about him.

So there's your Top Ten.  Others in consideration this week included:

Pete Nguyen (Why So Serious) - despite throwing a pick on his very first pass, had a respectable showing against Public Enemy in his QBing debut.  One game is not enough sample size for us though.

Ward Blewitt (Morning Wood) - repeatedly hit Matt Orleski with deep balls to beat Hofbrauhaus Buffalo.  Great game, but again, we'll need to see him do it more than once.

Ricky Austin (Bullet Club) - missed the beginning of his game watching his daughter (friendly reminder: no spectators at the field this year!) but played great and threw a walk off TD to beat Peachy Platoon.

Can't wait to see what everyone does in Week Two!

As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher?  no D5-D6 games mentioned this week?  you REALLY want to know Scotty's nickname for Bobby McConnell?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..   Remember, with the COVID regulations we have in place at the fields this year, it's a lot harder for spectators to watch games... which means it's a lot harder for the people on the QB Committee to watch your games.  If we're not writing about the action in your games, odds are we didn't see it.  Please email us to tell us what you're seeing out there - make our lives that much easier.

What’s YOUR ranking?

Week 4 Rankings

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Tuesday, 08 September 2020 15:20

Published: Tuesday, 08 September 2020 15:20

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 2316

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." - Charles Dickens

After enduring the longest forced offseason in TSL history, the League was back with a vengeance in Week One and all was right again.  The snow fences, masked faces and check-in gates gave the Rose Garden a different look and feel but... it was football again.  We were back.  

Until we weren't.

We on the QB Power Rankings Committee had planned to use our article this week as a venue to express our anger and frustration at the events of the past couple of weeks.  Anger that the League was shut down after all the precautions were taken and everything had been done right.  Anger that there are individuals out there who are jealous of what we have in the TSL, and want to take it from us purely for spite.  We had a long list of grievances to air, and we knew exactly how we were going to write about it...

We would write an entire article "Power Ranking" the WNY Football Leagues and their Commissioners.

But as is usually the case, the wisdom of Topper prevailed, and he convinced us that it does us no good to focus on the actions of other Leagues.  It's easy to get caught up in the finger pointing and petty Facebook messages and all of that, but at the end of the day it doesn't make our League any better.  What makes us better is to continue to work on ourselves and being the best Football League we can be.  That means having the best people, the best communication, and the best (and safest) product for our players.  They say the best revenge is living well, so hey, let's do that.  The only spot that really matters in the League/Commissioner Rankings is #1, so here is the best Football League/Commissioner in Western New York:

1. Topper Sports League - Patrick "Topper" McGovern

The hours of work and calls and emails that Topper had to endure to get us back on track must have been exhausting, but we're back in business now because he continued to fight for us.  Did you have a great time on Saturday?  So did we, and it's a testament to his efforts (and ALL the TSL players that stepped up to offer to help) that that was possible.  Thanks for all you do Topper.  We are loyal to you, because you continue to be loyal to us.

That being said, part of getting "back to business" with the League is doing what we always do - Power Ranking your League QBs.  So without further adieu, here are the Week Four (Week Two?) Rankings with a Bonus #11-15 shown in the chart below:

#1 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown, The Angels - Previous Rank (#1)

Last Week:  Beat Tight Ends in Motion 46-29 (Eyes Downtown) and Uncle Rico's Time Travelers 35-32 (The Angels)

Why He Should Be Higher:  Well he can't be HIGHER than #1, but he's the highest scoring QB (46 PPG) in the Top Division for an undefeated team, and that's a pretty good resume.  Also undefeated as the QB of The Angels in D4.  Not bad.  We realize that his 46 PPG is a small sample size as Eyes Downtown just played their first game on Saturday, but it's currently the highest for a team in ANY division outside of Frodo Swaggins (D3 - 54 PPG) and The Bambs (D6 - also 46 PPG).

Why He Should Be Lower:  He shouldn't be.  But if we were nitpicking?  We seem to recall a team called MATTY'S Angels that used to blow away the competition.  Why are they only winning by 2.5 PPG with the #1 QB in the League under center?  We'll give them some more time to gel before we pass judgment on Bobby's ability to lead a team of Angels.

Next Week: Marketing Mayors (Eyes Downtown), Over Compensators (The Angels)

#2 Chris Cole - Public Enemy - Previous Rank (#2)

Last Week:  Beat Gryffindor 27-21

Why He Should Be Higher:  Bobby's resume is good, but it doesn't have "defending D1 champion" on it.  Didn't Chris win their last head to head game in the 2019 Championship game?  Eyes Downtown's winning streak is currently at one game; Public Enemy is at LEAST four, having swept the playoffs last year at Bobby's expense, and starting this season 2-0.  Don't wins matter more than PPG?

Why He Should Be Lower:  Okay, points per game matter a LITTLE to us, and Public Enemy is putting up 32.5 per game this season so far.  That's not only two scores less than Eyes Downtown, it's actually slightly less than Marketing Mayors too.  And although they can't control their schedule, Public Enemy's only two games this season were against the team with the worst record in D1 last year, and a brand new team.  Shouldn't they be winning by more?  We're splitting hairs here of course; we won't know how the top QBs really stack up until they play against each other this season.

Next Week: Marketing Mayors, Tight Ends in Motion

#3 Mark Dalfonso - Marketing Mayors - Previous Rank (#3)

Last Week:  Beat Why So Serious 33-19

Why He Should Be Higher:  His 33 PPG are 0.5 better than Cole?  Look, Marketing Mayors plays BOTH Eyes Downtown and Public Enemy next week, so if Dalfonso is going to move up in the Rankings he knows what he's got to do.  Will going 2-0 next week vault him to the Top Spot?  Shouldn't it?? 

Why He Should Be Lower:  Oh, he shouldn't be LOWER.  The Top Three is carved in stone right now.  Until one of these guys gets upset by another D1 team (or a D2 team in a Crossover week... wouldn't that be something) they are the Top Three in the League.

Next Week: Eyes Downtown, Public Enemy

#4 Dean Thompson - Peachy Platoon - Previous Rank (#4)

Last Week: Beat Sticky Bandits 25-18

Why He Should Be Higher:  If he wanted to be higher, he should have moved Peachy Platoon up to D1.  Wasn't that rumored to happen last year?  Dean is still kicking ass in D2 though as Peachy picks up their first win of the season.

Why He Should Be Lower:  Peachy Platoon is averaging 26 PPG, which is 7th in D2.  Ouch.  We know Dean's an athlete and his defense is without question better than everyone else on this list, but to stay in the 4th spot in the QB Power Rankings, he's going to need to up his game offensively.

Next Week: Jabronies

#5 Matt Newman - Slytherin That End Zone - Previous Rank (#6)

Last Week: Beat Bullet Club 31-28

Why He Should Be Higher:  Slytherin is the only undefeated Team in D2 and they have the highest PPT (32.0) in the Division.  Better record and better PPG than Dean Thompson.  How is Newman not #4??

Why He Should Be Lower:  There's an argument to be made that Slytherin are winning in SPITE of Newman, not because of him.  We hear he threw a number of picks against Bullet Club and was lucky to walk away with the win.  Can't reward that with a Top Four spot in the Rankings!  If Slytherin keep winning though, Newman can force his way up another spot.

Next Week: Hobrauhaus Buffalo

#6 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits - Previous Rank (#7)

Last Week: Lost to Peachy Platoon 25-18, beat Hofbrauhaus Buffalo 36-28

Why He Should Be Higher:  There might not be a hotter QB in the TSL right now than Mike Thomas.  The Sticky Bandits have the second best record in their division after being written off by many as "not ready for D2" and Thomas has consistently won since converting from Wide Receiver to Quarterback.

Why He Should Be Lower:  The Sticky Bandits are third in D2 in PPG, where Mike is behind not only Newman (correctly ranked ahead of him) but also the Jeff Easton/Ricky Austin two headed dragon of Bullet Club.  We don't really know where to rank either of those guys yet because they seem to be splitting the job for now (we have Ricky at #15 today), but there's an argument to be made that whoever ultimately gets the most reps for Bullet Club could be a half step ahead of Thomas.  

Next Week: Morning Wood

#7 Vince Taverna - All We Do is Quinn - Previous Rank (#8)

Last Week: Beat Vaspian 45-20

Why He Should Be Higher:  Undefeated team, +41 point differential in D3.  There were rumors that AWDIQ would decline this session after some key personnel changes but... we can't resist... all they do is (q)win.

Why He Should Be Lower:  Undefeated team, +41 point differential in D3... am I describing Quinn, or am I describing the FAR higher scoring Frodo Swaggins?  Both teams have identical records and point differentials, but where Quinn is averaging 37.5 PPG, Frodo is averaging 54 PPG.  Tough to argue that Vince deserves this spot more than Scotty right now, but he's been doing it longer, so Vince gets the edge for now.  Oh, hey, look who Quinn plays next week...

Next Week: Frodo Swaggins

#8 Scott Drosendahl - Frodo Swaggins - Previous Rank (#10)

Last Week: Beat Family Feud and Some Dudes 68-41

Why He Should Be Higher:  To recap the above: same record, more points than his primary competitor Vince Taverna.  Also, Frodo Swaggins is now the highest scoring team in the league in any division, with 54 PPG.

Why He Should Be Lower:  The only argument for dropping Scott's ranking is Frodo's schedule.  They played a new team in Untouchaballs the first week and then... a brand new team from a lower division that they beat up on this week.  Family Feud and Some Dudes is no AWDIQ.  Scotty's killing it, but this week seems like a pretty solid preview of the D3 finals, so let's wait and see how that goes before we push Mr. Drosendahl any higher.

Next Week: All We Do is Quinn

#9 Alex Buchlis - Tight Ends in Motion - Previous Rank (NR)

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 46-29

Why He Should Be Higher:  After over a year lost to injuries and pandemic, Alex made his return in a losing effort against Eyes Downtown.  Almost everybody loses to Eyes Downtown; not everybody could drop nearly 30 points against them.  There are four D2/D3 QBs ahead of him in the Rankings today, and Alex has won both of those divisions before.  There's an argument to be made that he's more accomplished than half the people ahead of him right now.

Why He Should Be Lower:  A year is a long time off, and Alex is still winless in 2020.  The Tight Ends schedule doesn't get any easier as they play Public Enemy next week, and a 0-2 start may bounce Alex out of the Top Ten.  It begs the question though: how high could he rise with a win over Chris Cole?

Next Week: Public Enemy

#10 Joey Batts - Gryffindor, Cunning Stunts - Previous Rank (#9)

Last Week: Lost to Public Enemy 27-21 (Gryffindor), lost to Buffalo Solar Solutions 46-37 (Cunning Stunts)

Why He Should Be Higher:  Gryffindor were neck and neck with the D1 champs in the closing minutes of their game.  How many QBs above can say they've gotten that close to beating THE champs?  Shouldn't a struggling D1 QB be rated above a thriving D3 QB?  Wouldn't Gryffindor beat AWDIQ head to head?  

Why He Should Be Lower:  Since moving up to D1, Gryffindor has lost a lot of games, no way around it.  Joey continues to play well against the top teams in the League and he deserves to be Top Ten (if not higher).  People who have played against him would agree.  But any argument about "why he should be lower" would be squarely based on his W/L record, which (other than Cunning Stunts) hasn't been great.  Joey plays new D1 team Why So Serious next week, which should be a good opportunity to get another D1 win under his belt.

Next Week: Why So Serious

A few quick hits on the QBs on the verge of cracking the Top Ten... but not quite there yet:

#11 Patrick "Topper" McGovern - All the stress of government bureaucracy and restarting the League has not been great for our Commissioner's game.  He may be #1 in the Commissioner Power Rankings, but Topper drops to #11 in the QB Power Rankings after starting the season 0-5 (0-6 if you could his subbing appearance for Dilf's, which, you know, we do).  

#12 Pete Nguyen - Has yet to win a game as QB but Why So Serious is playing against the absolute best touch football teams in WNY, so let's keep that in mind.  Pete is actually playing fairly well; his receivers and defense need to step up as well if they hope to beat Gryffindor this week.

#13 Joe Miano - An absent Joe Miano drops two spots in the rankings this week as backup Dave "Bro" Kleckler QBed Jabronies to a big 37-36 win over Hofbrauhaus Buffalo.  We don't think there will be a QB controversy here, but starter Joe is 0-1 and backup Bro is 1-0... 

#14 David Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care are 2-0 with the second highest PPG in D3 (38.5); that's actually a hair better than AWDIQ, and we rated Vince a lot higher... is Grey Hair ready to make this a three way race for the D3 title?

#15 Ricky Austin - Ricky played well in his only appearance so far this year, but he's only played about 25% of the Bullet Club season so far.  At some point does Jeff Easton just overtake Ricky on the QB Rankings?  Tough to rank teams that seem to be switching QB's every week (Dilfs, Morning Wood etc).

Final Observations:

• Mountain Dew Me is 2-0 with 90 points scored and 12 points allowed... are they really averaging a 45-6 win through the first two weeks?  I'd hate to be the next team to play them... especially if I were the 0-6 QB of TOX desperate for my first win of the season.
• 6 points per game allowed is by far the best in the League on Defense right now.  Who's #2?  Practice Squad with 11, the OTHER undefeated team in D5.  Take a look at those D5 standings and you'll see two teams with massively positive point differentials, and then six other teams in the negatives.  I wonder what odds the Godfather would put on these two meeting in the Finals.
• Speaking of point differential, The Angels are +5 and leading their division.  That is the worst division leading performance we can recall, but... does it matter?  The goal is to win games, and they have.
• We've talked about the best, but what about the worst?  Two weeks into the season the lowest offensive PPG in the League belongs to Interdimensional Lightning Falcons and the highest defensive PPG belongs to Tight Ends in Motion.  Two weeks is a small sample size - we don't know anything about the Falcons, but we suspect Dave Baker will find a way to right the ship quickly for Tight Ends.
• There are still 14 undefeated teams and 14 winless teams after two weeks of action.  That's not very unusual this early in a season (some teams have only played one game) but in a couple weeks it'll be interesting to see who's still in the ranks of the unbeaten (or unwon? there must be a better word for that).

That's it for this week.  No, we don't have any fancy charts yet.  Even though we like pointing out stats like the ones above, the data isn't REALLY useful until each team has played at least a few games, so that's when we'll start publishing those.

As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher?  you miss our long, badly written paragraphs and don't like this week's new format?  you're curious how those Commissioner rankings would have looked?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..   Remember, with the COVID regulations we have in place at the fields this year, it's a lot harder for spectators to watch games... which means it's a lot harder for the people on the QB Committee to watch your games.  If we're not writing about the action in your games, odds are we didn't see it.  Please email us to tell us what you're seeing out there - make our lives that much easier.

What's YOUR ranking?

Pre-Season Review

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Friday, 14 August 2020 16:31

Published: Friday, 14 August 2020 16:31

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 2367

TSL Quarterback Rankings – Pre-Season Review

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  If you read the article last year (and there must have been at least a few of you) then you’re familiar with the concept – every week we share our rankings for the Top Ten QBs in the League, and discuss who’s trending up and who's trending down.  We on the QB Power Rankings Committee are not what you'd call "great writers" (or even "very good" writers... check out the Godfather and the Sentinel if you want better writing) so we lean heavily on graphs and stats instead.  For our pre-season article each session, we like to make a few predictions and re-print an explanation of how these Power Rankings work, which we've copied and pasted almost verbatim from the last two sessions' pre-season reviews  (See?  Lazy writing...)  

So a little Q&A to refresh your memories:

“Are you going to show rankings for all 44 starting QB’s every week?”

No, just the Top Ten will be shown EVERY week, but the write-up will have commentary on other rising and falling QBs throughout the League as well.  We often expand to a Top 15 or Top 20 as the season goes on, whenever we're feeling ambitious.  Stay tuned.

“Is this going to be heavily biased towards the higher divisions?”

The top ten probably will be, sure, and we have no issue with that.  The purpose of a Power Ranking is to highlight the best in the League, and for the most part the best are competing AGAINST the best.  But we will absolutely be acknowledging the performance (good and bad) of Quarterbacks in the lower divisions as well.  Last year we said "we doubt a pure D5 quarterback will ever crack the Top Ten, but we will try our best to cover all divisions in the write-up, every week", and then Larry Chruscial of D5 shocked the world taking the #10 spot for a couple of weeks.  So anything is possible, but generally speaking if you don't like your ranking, our advice is to try moving up a division next session.  The better your competition, the more credibility you earn for beating it.

“So you’re only ranking QB’s… what about the rest of us?”

Oh, we didn’t forget about the rest of you.  In addition to the QB Rankings, we will do our best to put out other rankings that the rest of you can enjoy – best team offenses, best team defenses, best referees, best at bar …  ranking anything is always fun.  Unless we rank you last, of course.

“You keep saying ‘we’.  Who is writing this?  Who determines these rankings?”

Don’t worry about who’s writing this.  Let’s be honest: If you knew, you would incessantly whine to that person or persons about why you or your QB should be ranked higher every week.  Anonymity is key for journalism THIS important.  

Last year's pre-season article predicted a big rise in the rankings from Dean Thompson (we were right! he finished the year 6th in the League) and a big drop in the rankings from old man Topper (we were wrong! he actually fought his way back into the top ten and finished the year ranked 5th).  Our big predictions for this year:  Matty Ice PLUMMETS in the rankings (okay, that was an easy one); Joey Batts cracks the Top Five once again (it's good to see some people aren't afraid of D1...); Blase LaDuca cracks the Top Ten (fortune favors the bold, and the Power Rankings favor ambitious QBs that move up two divisions); Darryl Carr remains undefeated at #1 on the Quarterback Hair Rankings; Lucas Kramer from Vaspian, with a year of experience under his belt, has a break-out season to flirt with Top Ten status.  But what do we know?  

So there you go.  We don’t have any new “pre-season rankings” for you, because there are new teams and new faces and we don't know all the contenders yet. But here are the final “Top 20” rankings from the end of Fall 2019’s regular season (which might have looked different if we had re-ranked them after playoffs…): 

For all you TSL history buffs out there that want to know QB Power Rankings data stretching back before the chart shown above, here is the entire history of the Top Ten going back the past two seasons that we've been Power Ranking:

Chris Cole, Matty Ice and Joey Batts are the only three QBs to be ranked in the Top Ten every week since the Power Rankings began.  Mark Dalfonso missed out in the first ever week of Power Rankings (a shameful omission on our part, but we can't correct it now), Bobby McConnell missed the beginning of the Spring 2019 season and wasn't ranked for four weeks (though his backup consistently made the Top Five in his place... maybe anyone could succeed surrounded by that much talent?) and Matt Newman missed one week as well (don't blame us, he should have played better).

Excluding the week he should have been ranked but wasn't, Mark Dalfonso has never left the Top Five (average rank: 3.13).  Matty Ice has never left the Top Five period (average rank: 3.06).  Excluding the injury weeks he wasn't ranked, Bobby has never left the Top FOUR (average rank: 2.58), and is your current #1 QB in the League.  Chris Cole has never left the Top THREE (average rank: 1.56) and has a TSL record 10 consecutive weeks at #1.  This is your Top Tier of TSL Quarterbacks ladies and gentlemen, the gold standard you have to beat if you want to be considered the best of the best.  Good luck with that!

One final note on Power Rankings: Rameer always insisted in "the Rant" that he wasn't on the Power Ranking committee.  That was true, he wasn't.  But we loved fiercely debating these Rankings with Rameer at the bar every week.  He often disagreed with our QB assessments and was never one to be shy about his opinions.  He will 100% be missed, as he was such a big part of the fabric that made the TSL great.  If you want to know a little about Rameer's thoughts and rankings though, we recommend you go back to Week 7's QB Power Rankings from last Fall (you can still find it on the website if you do a little digging) and scroll down to the "Top 21 Impact Players of the TSL".  Rameer didn't fully write that list, but he fought hard for the inclusion of most of those people (he also fought for several others that we did NOT include, so if your name isn't there, it's probably not Rameer's fault!).  We will miss you Rameer.

As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher?  not enough attention devoted to the Quarterback Hair Rankings?  our gross abuse of parentheses as a literary crutch for writing thoughts within thoughts?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..   

What’s YOUR ranking?