Quarterback Power Rankings...and then some – Week 5

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Thursday, 30 May 2019 18:55

Published: Thursday, 30 May 2019 18:55

Written by Patrick McGovern

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TSL Quarterback Power Rankings – Week 5

The streak is now at 16 wins in a row for Public Enemy, and Chris Cole (#1) has not moved from the top spot all season.  Yes, every Power Rankings is going to start with an update on this streak until it’s broken, so get used to reading about this.  With wins over #XTC@AngryBuffalo (40-37) and Tight Ends in Motion (29-28) the Champs are rolling.  Ricky Austin (#8) ALMOST got the job done for TEIM, rebounding from a horrible first half to almost shock the world on a two point conversion that would have taken the lead late in the game… but he couldn’t quite hit that last pass, and became just the latest victim in Public Enemy’s string of wins.  Can anyone stop the Champs?  (Hold that thought for a minute...)

Matty Ice (#2) was back in action this week with mixed results.  Matty’s Angels won a shootout against a Topper (#15) led Come From Behind team by a score of 45-40.  A short staffed A&A team then dropped a crucial game against Bullet Club (38-22), making Matty 1-1 on the day, and 12-2 on the season.  Still good enough to hold on to the #2 spot for now, but not the crazy Matty numbers we’re used to seeing this season.

Doesn’t seem fair that Travis (#7) of Bullet Club actually BEAT Matty in a head-to-head matchup of Top Ten QB’s, and Matty keeps his spot while Travis drops in the rankings.  But hey, Power Rankings are tricky.  Travis DID lose to the suddenly dominant Joey Batts (#6), who has Gryffindor trending way up from their miserable start.  Between Gryffindor’s 43-36 win over Bullet Club and Cunning Stunts’ 46-0 win against Over Compensators, Joey Batts led teams outscored opponents 89-36 this week, reminding us why this guy used to be a League MVP.  Between Matty, Travis, Joey, an inactive Dubey (#4) who dropped this week due to his absence from the Title Shot game, and a surging Tommy Scrivani (#16), the Godfather is right (as always) – Comp 2 really is anyone’s division to win this season.

Still holding that thought on whether anyone can beat Public Enemy? Good, let’s get back to that.  STORMING up the Power Rankings and making his Spring 2019 debut is Bobby McConnell (#3) of Eyes Downtown.  Bobby is back in a big way, destroying 1 Todd 2 Many 56-32.  Is one win a big enough sample size to justify pushing Bobby ahead of all but two other Quarterbacks in our League?  We believed it was, given strength of victory, strength of opponent and overall history of Mr. McConnell.  Thanks for your service Chadwick (#21), but QB1 is back.  Next up for Eyes Downtown is the showdown of all showdowns with Public Enemy.  What happens if Eyes Downtown win???  Does Bobby immediately take the #1 ranking?  Or if Cole plays well in a loss, does he deserve to hold his spot on the strength of a 16 game winning streak and eye popping numbers over the course of a season and a half?  That’ll be a fun debate for next week… IF Bobby can knock off the champs.  Oh, and Dalfanso (#5) drops due to inactivity this week, with Bobby surging ahead of him.  Fair?  Maybe not, but it is what it is.

Vince Taverna (#9) re-joins the Top Ten after a week off, as All We Do Is Quinn continues to roll.  That’s 13 straight games without a loss for the Quinners, who have the #1 seed in Rec 1 squarely in their sights.  Dean Thompson (#10) is the other Rec 1 QB holding down a spot in our Top Ten this week, with a 30-22 win over Morning Wood and a 31-25 loss to Frodo Swaggins.  If you haven’t watched a Peach Platoon game yet, you’re missing out… this guy is really good. 

You know who else in Rec 1 is looking really good lately, is Scott Drosendahl (#18) from Frodo Swaggins.  There was a lot of hype around this QB at the start of the season, but he was new to the co-ed football game and early on this season it definitely showed.  He’s clearly learning and getting better every week though, and Frodo Swaggins is a team that no one wants to draw as an opponent come playoff time.

Not really a “QB Ranking” observation but, uh, when did Cunning Stunts get so good at defense?  They’re outscoring opponents 72-1 over their past two games, a stat that we are reasonably sure will never again be equaled in TSL history.  That’s pretty ridiculous. 

Last week we included some charts of Team Points Per Game, but this week we thought it would be fun to look at Team Points Against Per Game to see which defenses deserve some credit through five weeks.  So here is a look at your top ten best defenses in the League, by Points Per Game:

Ugandan Warriors have a 3.4 point lead over the next best defense in the League, and they’re allowing about two TD’s per game.  No wonder these guys are winning. 

No surprise to see Tight Ends in Motion on this list – frankly with Dave Baker directing this defense, we’re just surprised it’s not #1.  And an all-girls defense in the Top Ten… seriously, how is Cunning Stunts this good??

Now let’s look at the ten worst:

Yikes.  A handful of teams in that 33-35 point range, and then Ultimate Warriors at 37.4 ppg (this explains why they’re 0-7… maybe Sam should play QB just so the offense can keep up with their defense?), 1 Todd 2 Many at 38.7 ppg (remember when they allowed only 6 points in their first game of the season?  Yeah, they’ve done worse since then), Cobblestone at 42.8 ppg (I bet they really miss Garrett Beesing…) and finally Five Star Generals at 45.3 ppg for the worst defense in the League.  We should keep this in mind for QB Rankings… It almost shouldn’t even count when you put up 40ish points against these teams.

And like last week’s offensive points chart, here’s a division by division breakdown of defense points per team:

Comp 2 and Rec 4 seem like they have the most defensive parity, as the top team and the worst team in each division are separated by only one score per game (well, one gender score and one two point conversion, but still one score).  Three of the six teams that lead their divisions in defensive points per game also sit in first place in their division standings, or share first place with another team.  It’ll be interesting to see whether defense really wins championships as the old cliché says, or whether powerhouse Quarterbacks and offenses will be holding the trophies at the end of the season.

One final thought for this week – Rameer definitely, definitely does not write this article (you may have noticed our stylistic writing differences), so if you’re trying to give someone feedback on how much you hate/disagree with the QB Rankings, you’ll have to find a better way than complaining to him.  We recommend renting billboards across town to advertise how great your Quarterback is – we’re bound to notice those eventually.

TSL Quarterback Power Rankings – Week 3

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Thursday, 16 May 2019 12:57

Published: Thursday, 16 May 2019 12:57

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 5992

Public Enemy streak = 13 games in a row?  Three weeks in and I’m already bored of Chris Cole (#1) on top of the rankings.  Consistent excellence is too predictable, and we’re looking for wild plot twists here.  Mark Dalfonso (#4) and Marketing Mayors are up next for the reigning, defending, undisputed champs, and this HAS to be a good one, right?  Dalfonso dropped 54 points on 1 Todd 2 Many this week in an annihilation of the former D3 champs.  Is he the man that breaks the streak?  We’re betting on No, but someone has to… eventually.

Here are the numbers for Matty Ice (#2) this week, for those keep tracking (which we in the QB Power Rankings are, obsessively): 4 wins.  0 losses.  165 points scored.  Three weeks into the season, he’s 11-1 with 457 points scored.  ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?  What’s it going to take for him to pass Cole?  June 15^th is the Rec 1 vs Rec 2 ladder match week – can you imagine these two slugging it out head to head in the final week of the season?? This is the stuff QB Power Rankers dreams are made of.  Too bad Matty apparently has next week off – we were prepared to devote an entire Power Rankings article to his eye popping stats.

Dubey (#3) drops by virtue of his absence this week, and Title Shot’s undefeated season collapsed without him in a 32-19 loss to Bullet Club.  And speaking of Bullet Club, look, I know they’ve won a lot of games with Easton (STILL Not Ranked), but let’s be real: they look like world beaters with Travis (#6) under center.  How do you mess with that?  And those uniforms look awesome.

We’re not going to ding you too much for losing to the D1 champs Chadwick (#5).  Everyone’s doing it.  But know this: we were rooting for you.

Unfortunately now we run into some struggling stars in those #7-#9 spots.  Newman (#7) was a big loser for both Breakfast Club and SITE this week.  We’re keeping in the Top Ten for now because we know what he’s capable of, but another couple of losses this week could have him on the outside looking in.  Alex (#8) tried to play through an injury this week, but had to bench himself after a few drives.  The season is young Alex… your teams need you healthy for the playoffs.  Don’t kill yourself out there.  And fun fact about the Joey Batts (#9) led Gryffindor team: they have the single lowest points per game of ANY team in ANY division right now.  By a LOT.  [Seriously – 9.5 ppg, a full 7 points behind the SECOND WORST team in the League.  Ouch.]  Good thing Cunning Stunts has the fourth highest PPG in the League, or Joey’s ranking would be down in the 40s like Bobby McConnell (#45 and falling every day).

Last week, we said “he’s not in the Top Ten yet, but Dean Thompson of Peach Platoon will be soon, if he continues to play like he did this week”.  Yeah.  He did.  Welcome to the Top Ten Dean (#10), earlier than expected.  After getting steamrolled by Slytherin in week one, the Platoon has gotten their act together and are scoring at Matty Ice-like levels right now.  Dean looks fantastic out there, and this team is only getting better every week… BUT, his two wins this season have come against the struggling Ultimate Warriors and an injured Sticky Bandits squad.  Is Dean for real or is he the product of a lucky schedule?  Time will tell.

We focus a lot on the Top Ten in this write-up, but there are plenty of other Quarterbacks out there playing well enough (or badly enough) to get noticed.  For example:

Buffalo Solar Solutions is currently #3 in the League across all divisions for Points per Game with Andy Clark (#16) leading the offense.  BSS is also one of only seven undefeated teams left at this point in the season.  Not too bad, Andy.  We see you out there. 

We’re told that Brian Stoldt (#24) of Practice Squad looked incredible this week in carving up the Bambs defense.  Rec 4 teams don’t get a lot of love from these Rankings we realize, but there are some serious athletes on those teams.  Speaking of which, Joe Miano (#21) is still undefeated with Jabronies, who are 5^th in the League in Points Per Game right now.  If you don’t know who Joe is by now, you need to start watching his games.

We heard a lot of hype going into this season about how great Energy Buff was supposed to be, but so far Tommy Scrivani (#28) has them off to a rough start.  Remember when we said the second worst offense was seven points better than Gryffindor?  Yeah, that’s these guys.  We’re not sure why they’re struggling so much - there’s enough athleticism on this team to be undefeated, and yet somehow they find themselves winless after two games.  Plenty of time to turn it around…

That’s it for the Week Three Power Rankings!  As always, if your QB wasn’t listed above, make sure you blame the League, the refs and the rulebook, as loudly and often as possible.

TSL Quarterback Power Rankings – Week 4

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Tuesday, 21 May 2019 13:58

Published: Tuesday, 21 May 2019 13:58

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 4054

Not much of a shakeup at the top of the Rankings, as nearly half of our Top Ten QB’s were inactive this week.

Public Enemy’s win streak is up to 14 games now, which the QB Power Rankings were able to verify this week.  We’re not sure if Cole (#1) has played in ALL of those games (the QB Power Rankings desperately need a research assistant; please submit applications to Topper and/or Rameer) but he has definitely been the driver for their season and a half of dominance.  Do people around the league really appreciate how difficult it is to win 14 games in a row, especially in the most competitive division?  To put this in context, the second longest streak in the League right now belongs to Matty’s Angels at only 5 games. Sure, All We Do Is Quinn haven’t LOST in their last 12 games, but that includes a tie to Frodo Swaggins in there, so does it really count?  Cole stays on top, and frankly the Power Rankings believe that “PUBLIC ENEMY’S WIN STREAK GROWS AGAIN” should be in the League Poll for “biggest story” EVERY week until (and of course when) it is broken.

Matty (#2) is in Italy this week and Schilling Em Softly promptly gets shut out without him.  Even when he’s gone, he shows his value.  No games for Dubey (#3), Chadwick (#5) or Dean Thompson (#10) either this week, so they all got to hold their rankings for the time being.

Dalfonso (#4) COULD have moved up with a win, but an 8 point loss to the Champs has him stagnating in the Rankings.  We don’t penalize QBs for losing to the best team in the League, but how high could he have risen with a win?  I guess we’re not going to find out now.

Travis (#6) lost a frustrating game to Money Ball, doomed by a depleted roster and some questionable calls.  He’s still a more reliable starter than Easton (Not Ranked) so he gets to keep his spot in the Rankings (and on the team’s depth chart?).  Plus it helps that Bern Them All killed it in Breakfast Club.

Joey Batts’ (#7) week: two dominant wins with Cunning Stunts, led Gryffindor to their first win of the season, and scored 149 points across four games.  Gryffindor, which this article noted just last week was by FAR the worst team in the League for Points per Game, has jumped up to 12^th worst in the league after (finally) showing some offensive competence this week.  All of that earns Joey a promotion to the #7 spot this week…  But we have to talk about that Home Tech game.  If you haven’t heard, this week Home Tech became the first team in League history to score just ONE POINT in a game against Cunning Stunts.  If you’re wondering how that’s possible, the ladies of Cunning Stunts posted a shut-out, only to see their QB give up their only point of the game on an extra point INT.  We guess a win’s a win, but what a way to ruin a great moment there Joey…

Signed in free agency as an injury replacement for Tight Ends in Motion, Ricky Austin (#8) is back in our Top Ten for his new team after one game.  TEIM definitely got “Good Ricky” this week as they annihilated a 1 Todd 2 many squad that had beaten them in Week One of the season.  Topper (#18 and falling) has scored a total of 13 points in his two games against Tight Ends this season.  Can’t blame the weather this time, Commish.

Ricky may be rising in the Rankings, but Newman (#9) is on the verge of dropping out of the Top Ten altogether.  He lost with the STILL winless Peanut Butter Kelly Time, and won with Slytherin That End Zone against a Morning Wood team that could only field three guys to play.  Not very impressive… and definitely not very “Top Ten” worthy.

QB rankings by nature are always going to be a bit subjective – we try to take into account strength of schedule, strength of victory, what we know of which players were missing each week, etc.  But it’s important to just let the numbers speak for themselves sometimes too, especially as it gets later in the season and teams within each division have all more or less played against each other.  So just for funsies, here are a few charts on Points Per Game, starting with the ten highest scoring teams in the League (excluding Breakfast Club):

No surprises there – all girls teams lead the pack, with Matty Angels running away with the League Scoring Title after five games.  Let’s look at the ten worst:

Wow.  There are some good teams on that list!  Doesn’t feel right that Eyes Downtown (with a Power Rankings Top Ten QB) and 1 Todd 2 Many are on ANY kind of “League worst” list.  So here it is again, broken down by division for a more fair comparison:

The top six teams in Rec 1 are separated offensively by only 2.1 points – if any division can be considered “up for grabs” this year, it’s this one.

Next week should be interesting, because Memorial Day weekend traditionally has lower attendance (PSA: don’t forget, we DO have games on Memorial day weekend!) so we might see some backup QBs pressed into action.  Best of luck to them and everyone else next week…  Be safe, don’t drink and drive, and never forget to use sunscreen.

TSL Quarterback Power Rankings – Week 2

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Thursday, 09 May 2019 12:48

Published: Thursday, 09 May 2019 12:48

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 6928

No surprises at the top.

Chris Cole (#1) makes his TSL Spring 2019 debut with wins over #XTC@AngryBuffalo (terrible team name btw) and 1 Todd 2 Many (also terrible… how many Todds are there?).  What is Public Enemy’s win streak up to now?  7-0 last season, 3-0 in the playoffs, 2-0 to start this season.  Is a 12 game winning streak a League record?  Somebody ask Topper or Rameer, the League should know these things.  Anyway, Cole looked awesome this week ripping defenses apart, and the top spot looks like his for the foreseeable future.

Dubey (#2) keeps his spot in the Power Rankings with wins over A&A (44-29) and Gryffindor (22-19).  He had his ups and downs throughout the day but the easiest path to Power Rankings glory is by winning, and he beat two other Top Ten QB’s / League Icons.  Not a bad Saturday.

Despite losing to Dubey (and throwing way too many picks) Matty Ice (#3) actually finds himself moving up this week.  Gotta look at his whole resume here: A&A also played (and beat) Money Ball 30-22, a game that knocked Glowacki (whose performance this week has been described as “meh”) out of the Top Ten.  Matty’s Angels played (and beat) Five Star Generals 54-46 and Home Tech 56-25.  Schilling Em Softly played (and beat) EmC HammerTime 59-34.  So Matty led teams go 4-1 this week, and score 228 points.  Can we talk about what 228 points means? That’s more than Tight Ends in Motion, Racks N Sacks, #XTC, Angry Buffalo, Morning Wood, Sticky Bandits, Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers and Cobblestone each scored ALL OF LAST SEASON.   4-1 and a season’s worth of points in a single day.  Matty would be #2 in the rankings, IF we could justify putting him above an undefeated division rival who handed him his only loss this week (which, you know, we can’t).

Doesn’t seem fair that Chadwick (#4), the now and future QB of Eyes Downtown, drops a spot in the rankings despite getting the W, but Matty’s week just seemed a little more impressive (he’s 7-1 as a starter after two weeks!).  Look on the bright side Chadwick – this team is yours now, and I’m sure they’ve forgotten all about Bobby (#44) who continues to drop in the Power Rankings with every absentee week.

Now it gets interesting. 

Last week’s #5-10 QB’s each lost at least one game this week, going a combined 2-9 on the day.  Ouch.  That doesn’t mean they all played badly, but it does mean we’re going to see some changes this week.

Mark Dalfanso (#5) busted his way into the Top Ten in a big way this week, beating Tight Ends in Motion 35-31 in a classic.  These two teams always seem to come down to the wire when they play each other, and Saturday’s game didn’t disappoint.  You have to feel for Alex Buchlis (#7), who actually played very well in the loss to Marketing Mayors.  Two heart breaking TEIM losses in a row, and then he suffered an injury in the first game of a Sticky Bandits doubleheader that knocked him out early.  Sources are unsure how long he’ll be out of action, but we wish him the best.

Newman (#6) drops a spot this week by virtue of losing to All We Do Is Quinn (42-28) and Hot TaMollys (29-18).  Sure, he got a win over Ultimate Warriors (39-12) where he looked pretty good, but with a two loss day he’s probably lucky to stay in our Top Ten at all.  Play better, Newman.

Joey Batts (#8) holds steady in the Power Rankings this week with a Cunning Stunts win over Hope N Ruin (43-26) and a Gryffindor loss to Title Shot (22-19).  Are we being unfair to Joey here?  He didn’t really lose that Title Shot game.  Gryffindor was apparently winning with Joey at Quarterback, until he had to leave at halftime and turned the game over to his brother (which, uh, did not go well).  Not sure why Joey quit on his team, but only finishers get to move up in the Power Rankings.  He’ll have another chance next week against Matty Ice and A&A, in what we suspect will be the game of the week.

Travis (#9) makes his Top Ten debut this week, with big wins in Breakfast Club and coming off the bench for Bullet Club.  Where was Easton (Not Ranked) this week?  Can we please turn this into a QB controversy?

Quick quiz: name every Quarterback in the League whose non-gender team is still undefeated, AND has scored more than 100 points with that team this season?  Okay, that was a very specific set of criteria, but there’s only one answer: Vince Taverna (#10) of All We Do Is Quinn.  The team moved up to Rec 1 this session and AWDIQ is 2-0-1 after three games.  They’re not exactly sweating the improved competition so far, and the schedule Gods smile upon them next week when they play a vulnerable Sticky Bandits team that may be without their leader, QB Alex Buchlis.  Keep winning Vince, and the League (and Power Rankings) will take notice.

Hey, remember when Topper (#14) was in the Top Ten?  Feels like a lifetime ago.  Although he played well enough to ALMOST take down the D1 champs (don’t tell me Public Enemy wasn’t scared for a minute!!!), the Commish found a way to lose with 1 Todd 2 Many, AND with Natural Born Kellers, AND with Vandalay Industries.  Tanking three teams in one day (is that the opposite of “pulling a Matty”?) is a great way to drop in the Power Rankings.

He’s not in the Top Ten yet, but Dean Thompson (#20) of Peach Platoon will be soon, if he continues to play like he did this week.  With smart, methodical passing, a creative running game, and a beautiful deep shot late in the game, Dean came to play on Saturday.  Is this really the same team that got annihilated by Slytherin in Week One??

We thought Rec 4 would be wide open at the start of this season, but Joe Miano (#24) is making a push for a Jabronies championship this Spring.  The offense looks smooth, Joe is making great decisions, and the team looks like it’s taken several steps forward from last year.  Keep an eye on this guy, he really knows how to play.

That’s it for this week – if you weren’t mentioned above, and you think you should have been, we recommend playing better – it’s the easiest way to get noticed.  Tough to argue with that, right?