PLAYOFF PREDICTIONS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 16 June 2023 12:54

Published: Friday, 16 June 2023 12:54

Written by Jeff Krol

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, on Saturday, June 17th in the Year of Our Lord 2023, at 9:00am Eastern Standard Time, with the weather projected to be a Sunny Day, just around 75 degrees fahrenheit, with the wind coming from the Northwest at about 12 miles per hour, IT OFFICIALLY BEGINS. 

 

That’s right, the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality begins this weekend. Anything you’ve done in the two months prior to this moment? Forget it, it doesn’t matter. The TSL Regular Season is all about fun, football, and friendship tied in with a little bit of learning about your opponents. But this week? This week is about winning. This week is what some teams have been waiting for since the end of the Fall 2022 session, to see if their offseason improvements to themselves, to see that whoever they swayed to come play for them over another team, and to see if all of the work they’ve put in over the last EIGHT months (including a stop for some in the indoor league) was worth it. 

 

This weekend, 47 of the TSL’s 52 teams will take the field to stake their claim to one of the TSL’s 7 championships that are available to them (you’re forgetting about Breakfast Club, it counts). Every single TSL season is its own entity, chock full of twists and turns that people weren’t expecting and the Spring 2023 season is no different. The only teams that don’t have a game the rest of the way are the two Breakfast Club teams that lost last weekend. This season, there is no “In Memoriam” section of this article. Every single team has a sudden death playoff game in their future which means the potential for crazy, unexpected upsets looms large. Is it out of the question for our only 8-0 team this season, the Sticky Bandits, to lose to Scared Hitless? It’s improbable, but no! What about our 0-8 teams this year? Could Back That Pass Up find the magic to beat the Mighty Drunks in the D6 8-9 matchup to move onto Southside? Sure could. Could the Creekers come in and beat up on Buffalo Vice? If all of Buffalo Vice gets food poisoning tonight, I could see it! Would anyone be surprised if Practice Squad beat the Freeballers? Nope. 

 

And that’s the big point here, that no matter how poorly or how well things went for you over the last eight weeks, the slate is cleaned. Playoff Saturday is one of the best days on the sports calendar. As I’ve said before, it’s right up there with the first weekend of March Madness where lower seeds CONSTANTLY upset higher seeds. A #1 seed is going to get upset somewhere, but who is it? We’ll see some stuff happening this weekend you never expected. It’s almost nearly as hard to have a perfect “TSL bracket” as it is anything else. And the thing is, dear reader, that you might be on that team that is going to pull the big upset. Conversely, you may be on the “sure thing” that won’t be playing next week. The only TSL teams that are guaranteed to have a game next weekend are The Untouchaballs, No Punt Intended, and the Mavericks in D2. They have the joy of the bye week thanks to the 5 team D2 that we have this year. 

 

Your shot at Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins this weekend. The field is set. By this time next weekend, only 26 of the 52 of you will remain. Only HALF of you will have a shot next week to call yourselves a TSL Champion. This is where the best and the brightest do battle. Do you have what it takes to win it all? Or will you crumble under the spotlight? At the end of the day, most of you will fail. But who’s it going to be? 

 

Let’s try to figure it all out. . . 

 

(Remember, the stats in the “Tale of the Tape” below are relative to team’s divisions, with the exception of the “TSL Rank” which of course comes from a team’s overall ranking in the league relative to things Topper decided on a decade ago and we still run with it.)

D1:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

The Contenders:

 

Sticky Bandits (3-1)

Legends (3-1)

Losing Streak (5-1)

Eyes Downtown (10-1)

 

The Upsetters:

 

Tight Ends In Motion (12-1)

Frodo Swaggins (15-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

Grey Hair Don’t Care (20-1)

Scared Hitless (35-1)

The Story: The Sticky Bandits finished the TSL’s only undefeated this season at 8-0 (because now that Jeff Krol runs things, he gets that favoritism Topper used to get). They did earn it however, having a top offense and defense in the division. The Legends bookended the season with losses, but in between they put on a show. Losing Streak has had a great season in their return, and as long as they keep clicking on offense, there may not be any stopping them. Eyes Downtown is right where they always are, in the mix and ready to pull off an upset. Tight Ends In Motion didn’t have the greatest season in team history, but you can’t count them out. Frodo Swaggins really came on at the end of the season and they’re a dark horse pick to make some noise. Grey Hair and Scared Hitless may not have won too many games, but you absolutely can NOT sleep on them. It took a few seasons, but D1 is getting as competitive as it used to be again. 

#1 Sticky Bandits (8-0) vs #8 Scared Hitless (1-7)

Points For: SB 35.00 (2nd), SH 18.63 (8th)

Points Against: SB 21.00 (1st), SH 35.00 (7th)

TSL Rank: SB 1st, SH 49th

Past Games: 37 - 0 SB

Line: Sticky Bandits (-17)

It would be really, really fun to immediately predict this upset off the bat, wouldn’t it? The problem is that Sticky has been so dominant on both sides of the ball, Scared Hitless would pretty much have to pitch the TSL’s version of a perfect game here. Sticky is much too aware of the upset Scared Hitless pulled in the recent playoffs, so they’re not going to allow themselves to get too comfortable in this one. If you would’ve told me at the end of the Fall session that Sticky would lose Laura Streeter and Christine Krol, and somehow end up being better, I’d have laughed in your face. But Mike Thomas took another step forward, and the Nicole Sharick/Brandy Clarke duo has been amazing. Scared Hitless showed some moxie after a rough start to the season, and probably deserved another win or two along the way that they just didn’t get. They’re going to play their hearts out in this one, but I feel they’re going to fall short. STICKY BANDITS BY 10

 

#2 Legends (6-2) vs #7 Grey Hair Don’t Care (2-6)

Points For: Legends 34.88 (3rd), GHDC 25.63 (6th)

Points Against: Legends 23.88 (2nd), GHDC 32.63 (6th)

TSL Rank: Legends 8th, GHDC 45th

Past Games: 42 - 18 Legends

Line: Legends (-14)

The reigning and defending champions of D1 strut into the playoffs feeling confident. It’s hard not to feel that way when you can put out a roster that has Sean, Mel, Heather, Travis Cleavenger-Bernal, Michael Boccio-Bernal, Maddie, and of course Joey Batts slinging that rock. And there’s more talent I didn’t even name. Legends lost early to Sticky, and then ran through the division, with their other loss coming last week in a game that didn’t matter for them against Losing Streak. They’re good on both sides of the ball, and they’re hard to beat. Grey Hair gets some props for really holding their own a bit in D1. They played a bit of a wacky schedule, and I think that hurt them a little overall, but Dave’s team has some talent as well. Grey Hair trots out the most “underrated” superstars in the league like Nick Voss and Amber Hay, and the strides George Lombardo and Jessie Kieta have made the last few seasons shouldn’t go unnoticed. Improving is a good thing, and hopefully they can run it back next season with more experience. LEGENDS BY 13

#3 Losing Streak (5-3) vs #6 Frodo Swaggins (3-5)

Points For: LS 35.63 (1st), FS 30.38 (4th)

Points Against: LS 27.38 (3rd), FS 36.50 (8th)

TSL Rank: LS 17th, FS 39th

Past Games: 60 - 45 Frodo

Line: Losing Streak (-3)

Finally, we start to get a little spicy here. Losing Streak trotted out the best offense in D1 this season, which should come as no surprise. Jordan has done a terrific job of filling his roster with talent this season. Everyone knows his males have been good, but Losing Streak needed a boost on the female side of things. Add Crystal and Robin to an improving Brit Matthews, and we’ve got ourselves a hell of a trio. This is the best team Jordan has put into the TSL to date, and I’m excited to see what they do now that things are getting real. Their first test? Frodo Swaggins, who had a hell of a season themselves to start, as Garrett really needed to figure out how being a D1 QB worked. Safe to say he’s found it. With Katie Swanson (alongside newcomers Tori and Sarah) playing well, and the consistently underrated Josh Schnieder, Blake Fisher, and Andrew Alessi doing great things on the field, Frodo has really earned some respect in D1. However, they have Losing Streak wide awake after that upset a couple of weeks ago, and they won’t be able to sneak up on them this time. LOSING STREAK BY 7

 

#4 Eyes Downtown (4-4) vs #5 Tight Ends In Motion (3-5)

Points For: ED 30.25 (5th), TEIM 22.88 (7th)

Points Against: ED 28.75 (5th), TEIM 28.13 (4th)

TSL Rank: ED 27th, TEIM 32nd

Past Games: 19 - 8 ED, 42 - 34 ED

Line: Eyes Downtown (-7)

There’s nothing quite like a 4-5 seed matchup in the TSL playoffs, and this game is no different. Bobby has righted the ship after some early struggles, and ED is playing pretty good football. The team is a little different than it used to be, but everyone has still bought in to “doing their job” (Blase LaDuca, for instance, is thriving as a pass rusher) and so many talented females on one roster, alongside a QB who’s been doing this for forever, ED looks to make some noise this playoff season. TEIM isn’t having their best season, and that’s okay. There were always going to be some growing pains as they adjusted to Andy Smigiera at QB. This team still has all the talent in the world, it’s just been more about getting everyone on the same page. The experience they gained this season will be incredibly helpful in the Fall. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 10

D2:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

The Contenders:

 

The Untouchaballs (2-1)

No Punt Intended (4-1)

Mavericks (8-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

Freeballers (15-1)

Practice Squad (20-1)

 

The Story:  It’s not much of a story because we only had 5 teams in D2 this time around. The Untouchaballs have been SO GOOD on defense and that’s helped them finish first overall. After a close loss (on the last play, I think) to start the season, UT hasn’t lost since. NPI has looked very good with Travis throwing. The Mavs have been a fun team, scoring a bunch of points, but looking a little lost on the defensive side of things at times. The Freeballers have had an up and down season, mostly due to a QB injury to Dylan who was out for the season, but now he’s not apparently. And Practice Squad lost a LOT of close games this season. After last year, where they finished last and won the whole damn thing, I refuse to count them out. 

#4 Freeballers (3-5) vs #5 Practice Squad (0-8)

Points For: FB 26.50 (4th), PS 23.25 (5th)

Points Against: FB 31.25 (4th), PS 35.88 (5th)

TSL Rank: FB 37th, PS 50th

Past Games: 34 - 29 FB, 30 - 21 FB

Line: Freeballers (-6)

The D2 “Play in” game has a lot of intrigue. As I said before, the Freeballers had to deal with a QB injury that messed with their season. They have their usual talent on the roster, but then they added Brit Clarke and Adrian Cannon to the squad. They definitely had higher hopes, and it all just kind of fell apart on them. But, Dylan’s back, and I think they have something starting to cook here. Practice Squad might’ve just run out of juice. They won D6. They lost D5 in OT. They won D4. They finished 8th and won D3. They have no reason to hang their heads at this lost season. But that’s not how they work. They’re still the same talented team that won D3, and there’s ZERO reason they can’t do it again. Look for B to be locked in here, and big games from their girls can go a long way. Perhaps they rush their fastest player to put pressure on the injured QB? Might work. This will be a close one. FREEBALLERS BY 1

D3:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

The Contenders:

 

Jabronies (4-1)

Can’t Touch This (5-1)

Bullet Club (5-1)

Let’s Get Reccked (5-1)

Wanderers (5-1)

Itches and Ohs (5-1)

Degeneration Sexy (6-1)

Vaspian (6-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

None. 

 

The Story: If the TSL could create a “perfect” league, there would be 8 teams in each division, and they’d all be exactly how D3 has been this season. Every single team in this division has a shot at winning the title. Would you be surprised if Vaspian won the title? Maybe, but you shouldn’t be. They were only a few points away from being 5-3. And they finished 8th? The Jabronies have earned the best odds going into the playoffs, as they walked out of the regular season with the best offense and defense rankings wise, but they also lost to the 5th and 6th seeds this year. Everyone has had some good wins, bad losses, and everything in between. The playoffs in D3 are going to be crazy. 

 

#1 Jabronies (6-2) vs #8 Vaspian (2-5-1)

Points For: Jabronies 35.86 (1st), Vaspian 26.50 (8th)

Points Against: Jabronies 26.71 (1st), Vaspian 30.13 (4th)

TSL Rank: Jabronies 9th, Vaspian 41st

Past Games: 27 - 26 Jabronies

Line: Jabronies (-7) 

 

These two met a few weeks ago and the Jabronies were lucky to escape with a 1 point win. That’s how close the margin is here. Joe Miano has been slinging the ball all over the field, which is a lot easier when you have Eric and Bro Klecker out there catching the ball. The rest of the team are no slouches either. Meanwhile Vaspian has had a typical Vaspian season: they play REALLY good defense and keep the game score low. The addition of Drew Colosimo, of course, has been a big help, but their females have all been low key good as well. If the defense can get a turnover or two, Vaspian can do this. And I mean, there’s no way all the 1 seeds survive anyway. VASPIAN BY 2

 

#2 Can’t Touch This (5-3) vs #7 Degeneration Sexy (3-5)

Points For: CTT 35.25 (2nd), D-Sex 31.00 (3rd)

Points Against: CTT 31.13 (5th), D-Sex 36.13 (8th)

TSL Rank: CTT 18th, D-Sex 38th

Past Games: 42 - 32 CTT

Line: Can’t Touch This (-8)

 

Can’t Touch This has had another awesome season, as all of the players on the team continue to grow into pretty good footballers. They’ve taken an 0-2 start and have gone 5-1 since. CTT only gets themselves into trouble when they rely too much on the long ball, and this season has seen them get a pretty good mix going. D-Sex has just been cruising along this season, before really ramping it up the last few weeks. They’re scoring a lot of points and playing much better defense. Scotty Dro has been quite good, which isn’t hard to be when you have a lot of Kellers around you. This game is going to be close (take the over if you’re betting) and I spent a lot of time thinking about who will win. At the end of the day, give me the team with the best female, and that’s Katie Keller without a doubt. DEGENERATION SEXY BY 2

 

#3 Bullet Club (4-4) vs #6 Let’s Get Reccked (3-4-1)

Points For: BC 28.13 (6th), LGR 30.00 (5th)

Points Against: BC 29.50 (3rd), LGR 27.50 (2nd)

TSL Rank: BC 20th, LGR 30th

Past Games: 24 - 22 LGR

Line: EVEN

 

This has Game of the Day potential right here. These two teams are pretty even across the board. They score about the same, they allow about the same. Their one game this season was a late comeback win for LGR by 2 points. Both teams have played mostly close games all year, and both teams’ “anomalies” were against the Jabronies. If you take away BC’s 54-8 loss to Jabronies two weeks ago, they were on track to have the best defense in D3. The other 3 losses were by a combined 5 points. There’s talent on the BC side with Pistol Pete, Non-Award Winning Tommy Hughes, Nick Buczek, and “maybe he should give up QB and just play WR” John Langley. LGR trots out Alex Buchlis, Dave Baker, and Ricky Recckio. BC may have a slight edge with their females. This feels like a game that should go down to the wire. BULLET CLUB BY 1

 

#4 Wanderers (4-4) vs #5 Itches and Ohs (4-4)

Points For: Wanderers 30.63 (4th), Ohs 27.86 (7th)

Points Against: Wanderers 32.13 (7th), Ohs 31.29 (6th)

TSL Rank: Wanderers 21st, Ohs 22nd

Past Games: 26 - 20 Wanderers

Line: EVEN

 

Oh wait, THIS might be the Game of the Day. Two teams that play very smart, take their time, and like having the ball in their hands to end the game. The Wanderers have been nothing short of fun to watch this season, as just about every single game they’ve had has come down to the wire. Frank might be from a different planet, but there’s nothing you can say about his play. He can QB with the best of them. Of course it helps when you have players like Sal and Nick there for you every week. The TSL doesn’t know enough about Tiffany and Laura either, they can really play. The whole team can. Itches and Ohs knows about them though. Steve Moser is a very good QB. You know exactly what he’s going to do: Throw to Rylee, walk down the field, and score on 5th or 6th down. He doesn’t love going deep, he loves running the clock down and controlling as much of the game as possible. It’s worked for him. He has a very solid complement of males as well in Jeremy, Andrew, and Colorado Mike. This is a smart team, and smart goes a long way in the TSL. They’re both smart. Someone film this entire game, it’ll be a good one. ITCHES AND OHS BY 1

D4:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

The Contenders:

 

Buffalo Vice (3-1)

Cunning Stunts (4-1)

Puckett All-Stars (4-1)

Passing While Intoxicated (6-1)

BAADies (6-1)

 

The “We Have John Langley So Who Knows What Will Happen”s

 

Travis Henry’s Kids (13-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

Cobblestone (17-1)

Creekers (100000-1)

 

The Story: Buffalo Vice’s midseason slip up against Cobblestone took them off everyone’s radar before two massive wins over Puckett put them back on the map, and painted a target on their backs. The gender teams, in their first three games, were 1-2 (Stunts) and 0-3 (BAADies). Since then? They’ve gone 9-1, and the one loss was the Stunts beat the BAADies. They’ve been on a tear, and this entire division should be scared. Puckett were the early darlings with some absolute whippings they were putting on people, but they’ve since come down to Earth and have been a little humbled by the two losses to Vice. PWI just continues to roll along, getting better, and doing what they do best: lurking as they enter the playoffs. THK is CLOSE to the teams above them, but they’re missing one piece to really get things moving in the right direction. Cobblestone can absolutely beat you if you sleep on them, but it’s hard to sleep on Darryl Carr QB Superstar. And the Creekers are here too. 

#1 Buffalo Vice (6-2) vs #8 Creekers (0-8)

Points For: Vice 39.88 (2nd), Creekers 19.71 (8th)

Points Against: Vice 30.50 (2nd), Creekers 41.43 (8th)

TSL Rank: Vice 6th, Creekers 52nd

Past Games: 44 - 14 Vice

Line: Buffalo Vice (-20)

 

I’m sorry, the Creekers. I feel bad that a new team with potential got put into a division they weren’t ready for, and I fear it sullied your experience. You have talent, but its talent that needs to figure out how Social Co-Ed Touch Football works. You have budding superstar Mullet Guy. You wear Yellow which is pretty cool. Go to D6, start from the bottom, and work your way up. It’s worth it. The football is just as good. As for you, Buffalo Vice. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize the magic you guys were showing earlier in the season and that’s on me. Andy Clark is slinging it better than ever, and it’s reminding me of the days of the “not too long ago” that you guys routinely threw up a bunch of points. The names mostly remain the same: All world Caitlyn Mason is here, and Amy is as well. Dan Gonzalez, Frank Pizza are too. The team is ready for a title. Is this the year? BUFFALO VICE BY 17

 

#2 Cunning Stunts (6-2) vs #7 Cobblestone (2-6)

Points For: CS 37.29 (4th), Cobblestone 24.25 (7th)

Points Against: CS 31.71 (3rd), Cobblestone 32.75 (5th)

TSL Rank: CS 10th, Cobblestone 47th

Past Games: 35 - 26 CS

Line: Cunning Stunts (-10)

 What a treat! We have one of the greatest QB matchups the TSL gods could ever get us as Joey Batts takes on Darryl Carr QB Superstar! That alone is worth the watch. The Stunts come into the playoffs on a 5 game winning streak, and they’re looking really good. They’re beating everyone and it isn’t even close. While we see how good the offense is, the defense might be even better right now. Cobblestone has some talent in AD, Lesean, and Donte but they just haven’t been able to put it all together. Sadly, their girls aren’t at the level of the Clarkes, Kelly, Katie, Renee, etc and we all know that the only way to really beat the Stunts is with gender TDs to keep pace. CUNNING STUNTS BY 14

 

#3 Puckett All-Stars (5-2-1) vs #6 Travis Henry’s Kids (3-5)

Points For: PAS 42.00 (1st), THK 34.38 (6th)

Points Against: PAS 27.86 (1st), THK 39.13 (7th)

TSL Rank: PAS 12th, THK 36th

Past Games: 48 - 18 PAS

Line: Puckett All-Stars (-10)

 

It’s crazy to think that Puckett has the best offense AND defense in D4, yet they’re currently the 3 seed. Regardless, All We Do Is Puckett is playing really well, as long as they don’t play Buffalo Vice. There is some cause for concern however. In their first 5 games, Puckett didn’t score less than 46 points. In their last two? They’ve scored only 46. It seems like teams are catching up to them a little bit. Either way shout out to Puckett for a great season with what looks like mostly the same roster they’ve been trotting out for a few seasons now. They’re really starting to gel. THK goes as Langley goes. It isn’t even a joke. If John is “on”, they can be really good. We saw it in last year’s playoffs when they upset the Stunts. Having Pete and Aaron is huge (literally), and for THK it just always comes down to its girl play. Mackenzie Klun is fantastic, but the rest of the THK ladies are so up and down it's hard to get a read on them. If they come to play, THK will make this a game. I’m just not sure it’ll be enough. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 6

 

#4 Passing While Intoxicated (5-2-1) vs #5 BAADies (4-4)

Points For: PWI 36.29 (5th), BAADies 37.50 (3rd)

Points Against: PWI 31.71 (3rd), BAADies 35.88 (6th)

TSL Rank: PWI 13th, BAADies 26th

Past Games: 41 - 36 PWI

Line: EVEN

 

PWI has had a heck of a season in D4 so far. They’ve been good, and they’re contenders for the title. Alex “Buddy” Lee has really become a good QB, and their ladies consistently get better each week. However, it seems like Colorado Mike’s squad can’t stay healthy. Every week they seem to lose another player to a season ending injury. Eventually that takes its toll. They get the pleasure of taking on a BAADies team that’s 4-1 in their last 5 games, and taking away their loss to the Stunts, They’re averaging 54.33 points in the last month. In other words, they figured it out. A very hot gender team against a very banged up squad isn’t a recipe for success. BAADIES BY 10

 

D5: 

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

The Contenders:

 

GUCCI (3-1)

Come From Behind (3-1)

Interdimensional Lighting Falcons (7-1)

Tater Tots (10-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

Long Balls (12-1)

TMA (15-1)

Not So Sticky (15-1)

Goatsack! (18-1)

 

The Story: GUCCI comes back to the TSL after a season off and knocks the regular season out of the park. Come From Behind continues to do what they do best, win games. ILF and Tater Tots shook off some early struggles to get to .500. Long Balls had some life in their first season. TMA lost a few close games and are on a 6 game losing streak. Not So Sticky struggles with offense, Goatsack struggles with defense. This really feels like a two horse race this season. 

 

#1 GUCCI (7-1) vs #8 TMA (2-6)

Points For: GUCCI 31.63 (2nd), TMA 22.50 (6th)

Points Against: GUCCI 21.88 (3rd), TMA 26.88 (6th)

TSL Rank: GUCCI 5th, TMA 49th

Past Games: 30 - 26 TMA

Line: GUCCI (-7)

GUCCI has been incredible all season, going to 7-1 and winning a lot of close games. Kelly Kane has been dialed in all season, and when she’s hot, everyone else is in trouble. GUCCI is incredibly consistent, there are no wild swings in Points For, which means they have a specific plan in mind and they’re sticking to it. Plus, they’re all a family. Listen to Kelly rave about her team on the newest podcast. They’re locked in, and they only had one hiccup this season. That hiccup? A 30-26 loss to TMA in Week 1. These two teams have gone in dramatically different directions since, but GUCCI isn’t forgetting that loss. TMA knew they’d have a tough time replacing all of the talent (and height!) they lost. It’s not easy losing 5ish starters from a roster, even if you have the players in house to step in for them. They’re not your typical 8 seed. They have 3 losses of 4 points or less. They very easily could’ve been the 3rd seed if a couple of bounces went their way. Val’s crew still has Ryan Henry behind center, and if he can get back to what worked in the first two games of this season, anything is possible, but it looks like an early exit for TMA. GUCCI BY 12

 

#2 Come From Behind (6-2) vs #7 Not So Sticky (3-5)

Points For: CFB 33.13 (1st), NSS 17.63 (8th)

Points Against: CFB 19.00 (1st), NSS 24.00 (4th)

TSL Rank: CFB 7th, NSS 40th

Past Games: 34 - 23 CFB

Line: Come From Behind (-10)

 

What do you get when a VERY good defense meets a pretty inept offense? Well, we’re about to find out. Come From Behind has been awesome on both sides of the football and they’ve held opponents to 2 scores or less 4 times this season. Paul Lovullo still throws the ball harder than anyone in the league, and like they have for a decade now, Molly, Leslie, and Jen are there to catch it. Yes, they have an influx of younger talent, but nobody cares about that. Not So Sticky has some of the nicest, most fun people in the league with Hot Vodka, Carly, Heidi, Paul Scinta, and Mike Thomas just to name a few. But being nice and scoring points aren’t correlated. QB Rags has been pretty awful at times, and this team clearly needs Christine back as soon as possible. This was arguably the worst possible matchup for NSS in the first round, hopefully they can make a game of it. COME FROM BEHIND BY 17

#3 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (4-4) vs #6 Goatsack! (3-5)

Points For: ILF 25.13 (4th), Goatsack! 21.50 (7th)

Points Against: ILF 21.63 (2nd), Goatsack! 33.38 (8th)

TSL Rank: ILF 24th, Goatsack! 33rd

Past Games: 43 - 28 ILF

Line: Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (-8)

 

ILF had a rough start to the season when Joe Miano defected to the Jabronies and Karl Smith chose Not So Sticky. This left Andrew to play QB and the results were mixed. Instead they made a change at QB and the team has looked a little more dangerous. Ethan has been good, but so has Alex Baker. The ladies have all stepped up at different times and ILF is poised to make a run heading into the playoffs. Goatsack has had an up and down season. They had shutout losses to start and end the season, lost a couple of one score games, and pulled out a couple wins in the middle of the year. It's not the best season, but it's something to build on.  INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 10

 

#4 Tater Tots (3-4-1) vs #5 Long Balls (3-4-1)

Points For: TT 27.25 (3rd), LB 22.63 (5th)

Points Against: TT 26.13 (5th), LB 28.50 (7th)

TSL Rank: TT 28th, LB 29th

Past Games: 36 - 36 TIE

Line: Tater Tots (-6)

 

The 4-5 seed matchup features two teams that tied during the regular season and are ranked 28 and 29 in the TSL rankings. They have the same 3-4-1 record. But that’s about where the similarities end. The Tater Tots are much better than their record shows, and they possess a better offense and defense over the Long Balls. The Tots have Derek Pew throwing the ball all over the place, and Dave Marcus finally has his team dialed in. Drunk Meg has been playing some of her best football this season. The Long Balls have athletes, but they’re still figuring out how to be more consistent overall. They’re led by Buddy Lee and Jimmy Hearn, so they have players who have been there before. They’re going to get better and better as time goes on. TATER TOTS BY 3

 

D6:

 

Odds To Win The Championship: 

 

The Contenders:

 

Southside (2-1)

Two Tuddies (3-1)

Grass Eaters (5-1)

 

The Talented Middle Teams That Could Surprise:

 

Sausage McMuffins (10-1)

Blitzkrieg (12-1)

Balls Deep (18-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

Mighty Drunks (25-1)

Pit Harade (30-1)

Back That Pass Up (100-1)

The Story: Southside and Two Tuddies have been beating up on the competition as both look to go to D5 regardless next season. The Grass Eaters are being sneaky sitting at 5-3. The Sausage McMuffins were a great story early in the season but have since fallen off. Blitzkrieg and Balls Deep have been inconsistent. Mighty Drunks and Pit Harade have shown promise at times in the season but are ways away from competing for the title. Back That Pass Up had a very rough season that didn’t get any better with injuries. 

#8 Mighty Drunks (2-6) vs #9 Back That Pass Up (0-8)

Points For: MD 24.25 (7th), BTPU (9th) 

Points Against: MD 32.13 (7th), BTPU 36.13 (8th)

TSL Rank: MD 46th, BTPU 51st

Past Games: 28 - 0 MD

Line: Mighty Drunks (-10)

 

These two teams get to play a “play in” game of sorts and the winner gets to meet up with Southside an hour later. That doesn’t sound fun at all. BTPU didn’t have the season they envisioned when Alex started this team with Jeff May at QB and league sweetheart Tammy Buczek on board as well. Things didn’t go as planned, obviously, with injuries and missed games not helping the team gel the way they wanted to. The Drunks, however, overcame a rough start and have really figured things out as the season went on. Jill Dibble and Kenny Shearer have put together a team that’s not one you’re going to want to play in the playoffs. Cam almost seems uncoverable. There’s a lot to like with these Drunks. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 20

 

#1 Southside (7-1) vs #8/9 Seed Play In Winner

Points For: SS 37.00 (1st) 

Points Against: SS 15.38 (1st)

TSL Rank: SS 2nd

Past Games: 43 - 12 SS (BTPU), 27 - 18 SS (MD)

Line: Southside (-10) (Drunks), (-20) (BTPU)

Southside hasn’t just been good, they’ve been great. A weird loss to Balls Deep ruined what should’ve been a perfect season. Tyler Cienmy can do whatever he wants behind center. The Gemmati sisters (I think) both hold their own. Sam Pezzino plays lock down defense. Everyone does something on this team and they do it well. Southside should probably get the Drunks who have been playing VERY well, and pose a little matchup issue for them (Southside only won by 9 not too long ago), but for the most part they should be fine. SOUTHSIDE BY 7 VS DRUNKS, SOUTHSIDE BY 30 VS BACK THAT PASS UP. 

 

#2 Two Tuddies (7-1) vs #7 Pit Harade (2-6)

Points For: TT 32.71 (3rd), PH 21.63 (8th)

Points Against: TT 17.14 (2nd), PH 37.00 (9th)

TSL Rank: TT 3rd, PH 42nd

Past Games: 42 - 0 TT

Line: Two Tuddies (-14)

 

 

If Southside didn’t exist, we’d be talking about how the Tuddies should be walking into D5 regardless of how the playoffs shake out (and they probably should anyway). Ever since Nick Stutzman stepped in at QB, the Tud Buds have been playing better and better. They have a bunch of great players in Chris Wolcott, Valentino Tomasello, and Sarah Palazza. They have fun and they’ve figured it out. Hard to believe they were 0-9-1 not too long ago. Pit Harade has had an up and down season. They started off well, but they have since had a QB carousel of sorts that has really thrown them off course. Not having Nick Hawes or promising newcomer Rayanna for most of the season has hurt, but there’s still some silver linings. Jen and Ashley have been very good for PH and are better than most of the males on the team. Tall Bearded Guy (who I guess is named Mike) is always making plays. Tyler Bielec shows flashes of potential when on the field. Once they figure out how to play defense, they’ll be on the right path. At the very least, they can compete with anyone at the bar. TWO TUDDIES BY 17

 

#3 Sausage McMuffins (5-3) vs #6 Blitzkrieg (3-5)

Points For: SM 27.14 (5th), BK 25.75 (6th) 

Points Against: SM 25.71 (3rd), BK 27.00 (4th)

TSL Rank: SM 14th, BK 35th 

Past Games: 23 - 15 SM

Line: Sausage McMuffins (-2)

The Sausage McMuffins have awesome reversible jerseys and were the talk of the TSL when they were undefeated and taking the league by storm. Since then, they’ve seemed to come back down to Earth a bit. Alex Hill’s team still has a ton of potential being led by Eric Pochylski, but there’s something missing right now that I’m not sure what it is. Speaking of not living up to their potential, they play a Blitzkrieg team that’s having its worst regular season in what feels like forever. Sometimes the bounces don’t go your way, and I think that’s what they’re experiencing at this point. This game is going to be very close. Get Light Red Hoodie Guy out there and make him do what he does best, make plays. All too often, BK has been on the opposite end of a matchup like this and lost. Now it's their turn. BLITZKRIEG BY 7

 

#4 Grass Eaters (5-3) vs #5 Balls Deep (5-3)

Points For: GE 33.50 (2nd), BD 29.00 (4th) 

Points Against: GE 27.00 (4th), BD 30.13 (6th)

TSL Rank: GE 15th, BD 19th

Past Games: 39 - 22 GE

Line: Grass Eaters (-6)

 

The Grass Eaters are underrated as a 4 seed, and it took a dumb suspension for them to be ranked this low. As you can see, the Moser clan has the 2nd best offense in D6, and they should. They run the Itches and ohs offense (throw to Rylee) with a different supporting cast. That isn’t to say Eric, Matt, Mike, Hailey, and Ryan aren’t capable. They are. But as long as Rylee is out there dusting D6 dudes as she’s been doing, it’ll be hard to stop them. Balls Deep feels like a team that’s CLOSE but not quite there. Yes, they beat Southside. But they also barely beat the Drunks, and they allowed 45 points to BTPU. They’re talented, with Baby Gronk rushing, and Payton and Ryan Rusin rocking on offense, so they’re capable, but I dont think their ladies can keep up. GRASS EATERS BY 10

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY: 

 

 

• Who are your championship picks going into Saturday? Now that we know the bracket, it's easier to envision. Right now I’d say: Legends, The Untouchaballs, Itches and Ohs, Buffalo Vice, Come From Behind, and Southside. 

 

 

 

• Which #1 seeds have the best chance to win, and which have the hardest path to victory? I’ll just list them all from best chance to worst: Southside, The Untouchaballs, GUCCI, Sticky Bandits, Buffalo Vice, Jabronies. 

 

 

 

• What’s your most likely upset pick? Most likely? Blitzkrieg over Sausage McMuffins. We’ll probably get two upsets in D3, but they probably don’t count as upsets given the closeness of the division. Don’t count out Practice Squad over Freeballers either.

 

 

 

• What’s your favorite long shot upset pick? The Mighty Drunks to upset Southside. I don’t think it’ll happen, but if we had a TSL betting app, that would be a GREAT one to take. They only lost by 9 points last time they played and they’ve gotten better. 

 

 

 

• Who’s the one upset you didn’t predict in the article that you really wanted to put? I wanted to put Frodo over Losing Streak so badly. Frodo just beat them by 15 and they’re playing really, really well. But my head wouldn’t let me. Losing Streak is good. Really good. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• I’ve seen that Buffalo has gotten a decent amount of rain this week. Hopefully the fields are a little less “concrete like” as I’ve been hearing. 

 

 

 

• YOUR GAMES WILL START ON TIME SO DON’T BE LATE. The league doesn’t want games starting super late, so we will NOT be waiting for players to show up. Get your team there early. If there’s some sort of overtime, we don’t want to push games too late. 

 

 

 

• Speaking of, go to the rulebook and brush up on the overtime rules just in case. We had a couple of ties and a good amount of 1-2 point games this year. I feel like OT is in our future. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club predictions: 

• BDSM 46, The ASS 28

• Steph Infection 37, Komosexuals 30

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Losing Streak vs Frodo Swaggins

• 11:00 - Wanderers vs Itches and Ohs

• 12:00 - PWI vs BAADies

• 1:00 - Tater Tots vs Long Balls

• 2:00 - Freeballers vs Practice Squad

• 3:00 - Sausage McMuffins vs Blitzkrieg

 

 

 

• The refs have been told to kick you out if you’re screaming at them. They aren’t going to go “easier” on you being a jerk because it’s the playoffs. Do NOT hurt your team by getting kicked out of the game. You’ve been warned. 

 

 

 

• In a perfect world, D4 has the top 3 seeds win, and the BAADies, so we can potentially have the Cunning Stunts vs BAADies championship we all want. 

 

 

 

• Do NOT message Jeff Krol, Travis, Joe K, Topper, B’s Brother, Elmo, Cookie Monster, Joey Batts, Girl On Crack, DJ Jimmy, or anyone else you think you might be able to sway: You get ZERO say in next week’s schedule, and it’ll be done in a way to minimize player conflicts, but nothing is guaranteed. Tell your team to clear their schedule now. 

 

 

 

• I heard that Lenny and Rameer Day was a very good success! Thank you to everyone that jumped into the dunk tank and participated in the fun! 

 

 

 

• If you have ANYTHING you want to talk about for next week’s playoff article, send it to me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. I want to know as much as I can from this week. Thank you in advance! 

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL, The Race For Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins NOW. Make it count.

-GF OUT

WEEK 7 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 02 June 2023 13:12

Published: Friday, 02 June 2023 13:12

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 827

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, as the calendar changes to June, I’m sad to report that there are only TWO weeks left in the Spring 2023 session. All you have are two weeks left to get your act together on the field and prepare for the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality that is about to begin on the 17th. By this point in time, you usually have a good idea of what exactly your team is. The haves and have nots in each division tend to have made themselves known, and favorites emerge. This current TSL season, however, is all over the place. After six weeks of football, we have some divisions with teams separating themselves (Sticky vs Legends in D1, The Untouchaballs in D2, GUCCI in D5) and then you have other divisions where who knows what you’re going to get (D3 is it’s usual “anyone can win on any day”, Buffalo Vice just beat the formerly impervious Puckett in D4, the last place Mighty Drunks beat the undefeated Sausage McMuffins in D6 last week). 

 

The point is, as usual, nothing is guaranteed in the TSL, and you have two more weeks to figure it out. 

GOOD NOT BAD:

 

Sticky Bandits and Legends are a combined 12-1, with the only loss being when Sticky defeated the Legends. They’re on a crash course for the title.

 

The Untouchaballs (and Matt Helm) asserted their dominance over No Punt Intended, quickly becoming the favorites in D2. 

 

Vaspian got their first win of the season this week, stopping the former “hottest team in the TSL” Can’t Touch This. 

 

Buffalo Vice put up 53 points en route to a victory over the previously unbeaten Puckett All-Stars. 

 

GUCCI keeps stomping everyone in their way, Goatsack goes 2-0 last week. 

 

Southside wins again to go 5-1, world still wonders how they lost a game. 

BAD NOT GOOD: 

 

Scared Hitless playing better, still not putting up enough points

 

The former “everyone has a shot to win the division” division in D2 is looking like a 2 team race (and one team just smacked the other)

 

Itches and Ohs (And the Creekers!) forfeit last week 

 

Travis Henry’s Kids gets walloped by both gender teams to fall to 3-3 on the season, lose by a combined 112-72

 

TMA, Tater Tots, and Not So Sticky all continue to lose, struggling to score, struggling to stop anyone, or sometimes both. 

 

Back That Pass Up scores a whopping 45 points, only to allow 64 and drop to 0-6. 

All any of this means in the long run is that we don’t know anything, even after six weeks of football. The next two weeks are pivotal for all of the teams to get it together to get to the playoffs. And for those teams that have seemingly “figured it out”: you haven’t. Don’t get complacent. 

 

Or, do, and it’ll make yet another wild and crazy Playoff Saturday. 

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Sticky Bandits 38, Tight Ends In Motion 12

Sticky Bandits 40, Frodo Swaggins 25

Frodo Swaggins 41, Scared Hitless 24

Legends 36, Eyes Downtown 30

Eyes Downtown 29, Scared Hitless 26

 

Overall, there’s a decent amount to unpack here. First off, Sticky continues to roll, putting up two easy wins over TEIM and Frodo. Frodo would then go on to get a win over Scared Hitless, who would go onto lose by 3 to Eyes Downtown, who had just lost by 6 to the Legends and therefore started to show they have that outside shot at title contention. Get all of that? Good. 

This Week’s Games: 

 

Sticky Bandits vs Eyes Downtown (+7) - After a 6 point loss to the Legends last week, Eyes Downtown confirmed to themselves that they’re much more of a title contender than they’re being given credit for. They get a Sticky Squad that’s just been on cruise control for most of the season, racking up win after win. If ED can win (or keep this close) this week, perhaps we do have a 4 horse race for D1. STICKY BANDITS BY 8

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Scared Hitless (+6) - The “Scared Hitless is going to be just fine” crowd was silenced last weekend, as SH went 0-2 and failed to put up over 30 points in a game yet again. However, they’re getting a TEIM team that’s been just as offensively inept lately, only putting up 27 points total the last couple of weeks. Just a lost season for TEIM at this point. SCARED HITLESS BY 3

 

Losing Streak vs Frodo Swaggins (+9) - Losing Streak is in the perfect spot aren’t they? They’re 4-2, and everyone is talking about everyone around them. That usually means teams are about to sleep on them. Perfect time for them to strike in the playoffs. Frodo has been gutting this season out, and they have a 2-4 record to show for it. After a rough Week 1 where they got blown out twice, they’ve settled in a little bit and found a rhythm. With games against Losing Streak here and Sticky next week, we’ll see just how far they’ve come. LOSING STREAK BY 8

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

The Untouchaballs 41, No Punt Intended 17

 

The only D2 game of the week was quite the statement for Burr and friends, as Travis threw more TD passes to Untouchaballs players than NPI players. 

This Week’s Games:

 

No Punt Intended vs Practice Squad (+10) - You can be sure that NPI is going to be focused on getting last week out of their head, and they’ll get the 0-5 Practice Squad to do it. Practice Squad was last seen getting chased off the fields by Untouchaballs, but that may have been the kick in the rear they needed to get moving. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 2 IN AN UPSET OF THE DAY SPECIAL

 

The Untouchaballs vs Mavericks (+10) - I hope the Mavericks enjoyed their week off. Their reward is getting to play the newest “hottest team in the TSL”, that’s clicking on all cylinders on both sides of the ball. I know the Mavs have been working on that defense, but this game might be demoralizing for them. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 12

 

Freeballers vs Practice Squad (+7) - The Freeballers aren’t quite dead yet, despite losing their QB for the season. They had a really nice first game with the new QB, and then had a bye last week. It’s still tough to adjust to a new guy on the fly, so props to them for even trying. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 3, B IMMEDIATELY ANNOUNCES HE’S BACK TO THE WORLD

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Vaspian 30, Cant Touch This 28

Let’s Get Reccked 50, Degeneration Sexy 40

Jabronies 21, Itches and Ohs 0 (forfeit)

 

Jabronies stay on top of the division with a forfeit win over Itches. LGR drops 50 points in an absolute barnburner with D-Sex, while Vaspian proves how smart I am, showing that they ARE sneaky good and they DID win by 2. Nailed it. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Wanderers vs Can’t Touch This (+3) - CTT scores quickly and often, while the Wanderers proceed to be a bit more methodical and take time off the clock. They keep EVERY game close, and that’s by design. If you haven’t noticed yet, they want the ball in their hands as the clock winds down so they control the game. A loss last week shouldn’t derail CTT’s season at all. This will be fun to watch. WANDERERS BY 3

 

Jabronies vs Bullet Club (+3) - The Jabronies are on a 5 game win streak after the forfeit win last week. They’re winning by a bunch and they’re winning close games. Bullet Club is 0-3 after a 3-0 start, as they’re missing key players just about every week like the BC teams of old. They’ve lost those games by a combined 5 points, so there’s a world where they’re 6-0 and the talk of the league. This game figures to be a close one, and the Jabronies are a little better at winning those than BC is. JABRONIES BY 2

 

Itches and Ohs vs Vaspian (EVEN) - Vaspian is 1-0-1 the last two weeks and are learning how to close out games. They get an Itches and Ohs team that gets their QB back after a two week suspension. Most teams would struggle without their QB, but Itches is especially reliant on Steve and how they run things. They can’t really have someone else step in and replace him based on how they play. I think he’s ready to set the league on fire. ITCHES AND OHS BY 8

 

Vaspian vs Degeneration Sexy (+6) - D-Sex has been playing better the last few weeks, getting a win and scoring a bunch of points. Things really look to be coming together, even if the record doesn’t show it. As long as Scotty Dro doesn’t ditch them, they can beat anyone in D3. DEGENERATION SEXY BY 4

 

Itches and Ohs vs Lets Get Reccked (EVEN) - Itches gets right back to it, taking on an LGR team that could put up 12 points or put up 50 against you, and you never know what you’re going to get. This game feels like a back and forth game where both teams get in the low 20s. ITCHES AND OHS BY 1

 

D4: 

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice 53, Puckett All-Stars 46

Passing While Intoxicated 29, Cobblestone 28

BAADies 60, Travis Henry’s Kids 32

Cunning Stunts 52, Travis Henry’s Kids 40

Cunning Stunts 21, Creekers 0 (forfeit)

 

Well hello there Buffalo Vice! Sick of hearing about how good Puckett is, Vice came out to play and took down the juggernaut PAS. PWI snuck past Cobblestone, stopping Darryl Carr QB Superstar on a game winning 2 point conversion attempt to win the game. Usually Langley has to pay women to beat him this badly, but the BAADies and the Stunts did it for free this weekend, obliterating THK on the fields. The Stunts also picked up a forfeit win to get themselves over .500 on the season, finally. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+7) - While THK won’t have to worry about the girls dropping points on them this weekend, they’ll still have to play a Buffalo Vice team that HAS to be feeling good about themselves after last weekend. This feels like a game between one team on the rise and the other, well, not. BUFFALO VICE BY 12

 

BAADies vs Cunning Stunts (EVEN) - THE RIVALRY IS RENEWED!! ITS ON! There is NOTHING better in the TSL than a good old fashioned gender team battle. The only downside is that this wasn’t saved for Lenny and Rameer Day next weekend. Both of these teams are getting it going, and at the right time too. They’re pretty closely matched, but at the end of the day, I have to pick one of them: BAADIES BY 1. 

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Cunning Stunts (+3) - The Stunts immediately get to play PWI after the big game, which is good for PWI to catch them right after a game that should be emotionally taxing. PWI continues to play good football and do exactly what is needed to win. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 8

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Cobblestone (+7) - It’s going to largely depend on who Darryl Carr QB Superstar gets to play this week, but let’s face it, Puckett is more than likely stewing about that loss last week and they’ll be looking to dominate yet again. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 14

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Creekers (+10) - Good team vs Not Good Team. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 18

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Goatsack! 39, Tater Tots 38

Goatsack! 31, TMA 21

Come From Behind 47, TMA 14

GUCCI 34, Not So Sticky 0

Long Balls 38, ILF 30

 

Goatsack went 2-0 this week, and how they did it was impressive: knocking off the Tots and then TMA. TMA continued to spiral this season, picking up another loss after that to Come From Behind. GUCCI brought NSS behind the woodshed. And the Long Balls come away with another win, this time against the Lightning Falcons. 

This Week’s Games:

 

TMA vs Not So Sticky (+3) - Before the season, if you looked at the schedule, you’d assume there’d have been a great chance that these two teams would’ve been playing for the #1 seed in D5 this weekend. Not so much. TMA is 0-4 after a good start, and they’re struggling to score points at all. They’re second last in the division in points for. The good news? Not So Sticky is last. Both teams have decent to good defenses, so it’s going to be low scoring here. TMA BY 2

 

GUCCI vs Tater Tots (+7) - GUCCI is 4-1, they’re scoring points, and they’re playing excellent defense. They’re one of the hottest teams in the league, and Kelly Kane is slinging it as well as anyone out there(The QB Rankings committee needs to get it together too). The Tots, meanwhile, just continue to struggle on the season. Or so it seems. They’re 1-1-1 in their last 3, tying Long Balls, losing by a point to Goatsack, and beat NSS. Don’t forget, they beat Come From Behind this year. They’re a sneeze away from being 4-2 and this game is for the #1 seed. TATER TOTS BY 3

 

Come From Behind vs Long Balls (+3) - The Long Balls find themselves at 3-2-1 and 3rd in the division. They’re playing well, but with wins over struggling teams like TMA, the Tots, and whatever ILF is this season, you wonder if they’re actually good or not. Well, here’s your test. Come From Behind has been D5’s “big bad” for a long time now, and the LoVullo squad routinely puts up 30+ points with ease. But, they also play pretty great defense too. If the LBs can figure this one out, they’ll be considered “for real”. They won’t. COME FROM BEHIND BY 10

 

  

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Southside 43, Grass Eaters 16

Balls Deep 64, Back That Pass Up 45

Two Tuddies 24, Blitzkrieg 20

Mighty Drunks 31, Sausage McMuffins 27

 

Southside beat up on the Grass Eaters to move into first place in the division because the Mighty Drunks came out and beat the McMuffins. Big win for the Drunks! Two Tuddies continue to keep rolling, as they hand Blitzkrieg another loss to put them at 3-3 on the season. Then finally, Balls Deep did their best Spinelli’s impression and dropped 64 on BTPU.

This Week’s Games:

 

Southside vs Sausage McMuffins (+7) - This game is still for the first seed, but its less exciting now that the McMuffins lost last weekend. As much of a fun, feel good story the McMuffins have been, Southside remains the main D6 story. They have the best offense and the best defense in the division, and they’re in a class above everyone else. SOUTHSIDE BY 12

 

Balls Deep vs Grass Eaters (+8) - These two teams may be more evenly matched than one thinks. Balls Deep is due to come back down to Earth after a crazy win last week, and the Grass Eaters are getting their QB back this week as well. Also, at the end of the day, Balls Deep doesn’t have anyone on their team that can compete with Rylee. GRASS EATERS BY 10

 

Mighty Drunks vs Back That Pass Up (+6) - Back That Pass Up finally figured out how offense worked this season, but did it at the expense of completely forgetting what defense is. Not the best formula, BUT they’re figuring things out, and that’s the most important part. The Drunks apparently can’t spell, but that’s okay. They pulled off a BIG win over the McMuffins, and because of that they can potentially get out of the 8v9 “play in” game with a win here and against the Tuddies next week. MIGHTIY DRUNKS BY 8

 

Two Tuddies vs Pit Harade (+10) - The Tuddies have been cruising along, winning games, and playing really well on both sides of the ball. It’s amazing to see where they were a few seasons ago to now.  Pit Harade has had an okay initial campaign. They’ve been pretty good offensively, but that defense isn’t doing them any favors. Once they figure out what they’re doing on that side of the ball, they might be able to make some noise. Getting the Tuddies and Southside for your last two games isn’t going to help that. TWO TUDDIES BY 17

 

Two Tuddies vs Sausage McMuffins (+3) - What a doubleheader for the McMuffins. Southside AND the Tuddies. The schedule makers must hate them for some reason. After last week’s hiccup against the Drunks, the McMuffins could find themselves tumbling down the standings this week. Fortunes in the TSL can change in the blink of an eye. TWO TUDDIES BY 10

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• What’s going on with Breakfast Club? Not too long ago, I was thinking we had, top to bottom, the most even BC we’ve had in years. After a few more weeks, I can see that i was wrong. Yet again, Steph Infection is the class of the league, with the top offense, and one of the top defenses. BDSM however, has really been clicking the last few weeks to give us an interesting top two. It’ll be fun to see how it plays out, as it always is. 

 

 

 

• What should we expect weather wise this week? Well, two weeks ago was raining and miserable, last week was way too hot, so this week is looking like it’ll be “just right” for football weather. 

 

 

 

• What teams are sitting in the middle of the standings that could make some noise in the playoffs? Let’s call this one the 3-3 club. D1 has Eyes Downtown that just lost to Legends last week and you can’t ever count Bobby out. D2 has Jordan and the Mavericks lurking, hoping that they fly under the radar a little longer. D3 has Bullet Club who as we mentioned lost their last 3 games by a combined 5 points. D4 has the BAADies clicking on offense finally, which historically (when they were the Angels) meant they couldn’t be beat. D5 has the Interdimensional Lightning Falcons, which is a team that has talent, and plays great defense, but just struggles to be consistent. And D6 has Blitzkrieg, a perennial title contender that has two 1 score losses on their record (Tuddies by 4, McMuffins by 8) and then the drubbing by Southside that is more of an outlier than the norm. You can’t ever count them out. 

 

 

 

• What’s going on with the wine tournament? Well, more information should be coming out sooner than later. It’s going to be coming up this August, so get ready for it. 

 

 

 

• Where has B’s Brother been? The question we always need to know, of course. He’s been on official league business scouting more sites and talent for TSL Atlanta. Hopefully he’ll be back to the fields soon. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• Someone get Sean some shorts. 

 

 

 

• I know that you’re getting upset that the TSL season is winding down and that the games are getting more important, but once again, please remember to stop being jerks to the refs. I'm aware that you’re fighting for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality, but cut it out. Every week I get an email about someone having some sort of issue. I’ll say it weekly if I have to.

 

 

 

• Speaking of the refs, shout out to them for dealing with the bi-polar Buffalo weather that you guys experience. Cold and Rainy one week, incredibly hot the next. Thanks for what you guys do out there. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• Steph Infection 40, Liddle Dubs 24

• BDSM 47, The Vajennas 33

• Komosexuals 32, The ASS 30

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Can’t Touch This vs Wanderers

• 11:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Travis Henry’s Kids

• 12:00 - Bullet Club vs Jabronies

• 1:00 - BAADies vs Cunning Stunts

• 2:00 - Frodo Swaggins vs Losing Streak

• 3:00 - Sausage McMuffins vs Two Tuddies

 

 

 

• Casual reminder to everyone that the schedule for Playoff Saturday on June 17th is already set and isn’t changing. If you don’t know what it is, ask Jeff Krol to send it to you, or ask your captains for it, as they’ve had it for weeks. 

 

 

 

• Yes, everyone makes the playoffs this year. The League was informed that the 5th field was supposed to already be unavailable to us by now. It looks more and more like we should’ve been able to have more teams and use that field all season. 

 

 

 

• For those wondering about the Topper comeback story: it appears his magical shoulder that has thrown 4,302 touchdowns and 5,913 interceptions has torn and he’ll be surgically repairing it at some point. Once that happens, the TSL will have the hottest free agent it’s had in years. 

 

 

 

• Want to be on the podcast? Talk to Jeff Krol or Joe K asap. It’s a fun way to get people to know who you and your teammates are! 

 

 

 

• Or, just email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to give me info about the games you’re playing in and who should be mentioned for being awesome on your team. I can only get so much information from my informants. Thank you to those that do email me. 

 

Week 7 is now officially a go. Good luck. 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 8 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 09 June 2023 13:11

Published: Friday, 09 June 2023 13:11

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 955

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, on Saturday June 10th, in the Year of Our Lord 2023, you all will take the field and combine to play 25 games of Social Co-Ed Football. Some will be exciting, down the wire games. Some will be absolutely boring to watch blowouts. Some will fall somewhere in the middle. 

 

None of them will matter. 

 

Sure, some of them might matter to some of you for various reasons, but the football aspect of the TSL will be overshadowed by our most important of days: 

 

Lenny and Rameer Day. 

 

To the new people in the TSL that may be reading this and going “Who are Lenny and Rameer?” let me tell you. Lenny and Rameer were two of the most influential people in the TSL’s history. Lenny, to start, was Topper’s best friend and it was he who decided “Eff it, let's start our own league” many moons ago. Lenny was there, making the phone calls to every team in the league (along with Topper, and I believe Scott Airey if memory serves me) to tell them “we’re done with this nonsense, we have the Rose Garden, do you want to join us?”. After some intense negotiations, a good chunk of the teams (including my own) went with Lenny/Topper and the TSL was born. Lenny was a larger than life personality, and as Commissioner of the TSL he was constantly found roaming the fields, meeting new people in the league, and becoming best friends with them. He relished being able to know as many people in his league as possible, and in turn he got them to be a part of his many shenanigans that he pulled. He would buy you a drink, ask you about your game, but then immediately move on from football and would ask you about your grandmother’s sauce recipe, if you’re Pro-Bs Brother, or just how you’re doing. Once you were “in” with Lenny, there was no getting out (unless you tried to pay a bill when he wasn’t looking). He’d bombard you with text messages, and if your phone rang and you saw “Lenny Alba” was on the phone, you immediately knew you were stuck for a minimum of 45 minutes. In fact, the only thing longer than a Lenny phone call was a Rameer email. To say that Lenny is a big reason you’re here is an understatement. He got people to write for the website (Hi.), he was bored and started a podcast that still goes today, he once made a wheel with all of the teams on it and whoever it landed on got a $100 bar tab. And those are just off the top of my head. Everyone who knew him has about 20 Lenny stories, minimum. Which is nothing compared to the man himself, who always seemed to have a story about something or someone no matter what. He didn’t like making things about himself, it was always about pumping up the members of the league, putting them first, making them feel included. He was a great man, and he was taken too soon from us. It’s hard to believe it’s been over 4 years now. 

 

And then there was Rameer. It turns out that Topper and Lenny didn’t always agree on stuff. Crazy, I know. At some point, Rameer worked his way into being the “third man” of the TSL, being the “deciding” vote when Topper and Lenny needed it. Rameer had played in the league for a while, and was always asking Topper/Lenny if they needed help. Eventually, he became the Director of Officiating, which was a fun way to say “he’s doing the ref schedule because Topper and Lenny didn’t want to anymore”. Rameer was a lot like Lenny in that the inclusion of new people mattered to him. But he’d do it differently. Lenny might make a story about you, or make a $1 bet that he could turn you into a star (Hey Boccio!). Rameer would find you, saddle up next to you, and just talk to you. All too often he’d see a new person, walk up to them directly and say “Who the hell are you?” but in a fun way to get them to open up quickly. It worked. Rameer made you feel included right away, he’d find something he’d like about you and talk to you about it (Syracuse, football, music, whatever) and before you knew it, you had a friend for life. Rameer also had a way of noticing if you were “off” certain weeks. He’d keep it to himself, and when he saw you were alone for a minute, then he’d walk over just to ask if you were okay. If you weren’t, he’d genuinely ask what’s wrong and if you’d like to talk about it. And then he’d listen and be there for you. He’d offer advice. He cared. And he’d check in later on in the week to see how you were doing. And he did this for everybody (until you pissed him off for one reason or another and he excommunicated you). The self proclaimed “dirtiest player in the game” was actually one of the nicest people the TSL ever had to offer. When Lenny passed, Rameer stepped up and helped Topper immensely with getting the league going. He cherished that role, because he knew what the league meant to so many people. When he got his cancer diagnosis, he did everything he could to keep things from being about him. He only announced it to the league because he didn’t want anyone to get any information wrong (Go look at the last “The Rant” if you don’t believe me). Rameer fought like hell, but he unfortunately lost his battle. He passed on June 4th, Lenny’s birthday. 

 

The TSL gets called a lot of things. A family, a drinking league that plays football sometimes, a cult, you name it. But the bottom line is that no matter what this league is to you personally, these two were the biggest reasons besides Topper himself of why that is. So yeah, you’re going to play football this weekend. You may win, you may lose, you may tie. But none of those games matter. All that matters this weekend is getting together with your friends, your family, and toasting to two amazing human beings that were taken from us much too soon. 

But, onto the games I guess. . . 

D1: 

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Sticky Bandits 30, Eyes Downtown 28

Tight Ends In Motion 26, Scared Hitless 14

Frodo Swaggins 60, Losing Streak 45

 

Sticky comes back from 22 points down to steal a game away from a very spry Eyes Downtown team that’s been showing they’re not an afterthought. Tight Ends In Motion hangs out in D1 limbo, preparing to pull an upset in the playoffs with a win over Scared Hitless. And Frodo Swaggins gets the biggest win of their season, pulling out a 60-45 victory over Losing Streak! 

 

This Week’s Games: 

 

What’s At Stake: There isn’t much at stake here as Sticky clinched the #1 seed, and Legends are locked in #2. However with Frodo’s win over Losing Streak, seeds 3-6 are all up in the air for next week. Scared Hitless and Grey Hair are locked into the 7 and 8 seeds, but not sure who will be where just yet. 

 

Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+8) - Frodo has to be feeling really good after that huge win over Losing Streak, and now they’re looking to ruin Sticky’s perfect season. Sticky has been good, not great the last few weeks, but they’re still getting the job done. As fun as it would be for Frodo to slay another giant, I don’t see it happening. STICKY BANDITS BY 8

 

Scared Hitless vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+6) - GHDC hasn’t played since May 20th, which can’t ever be considered a good thing. Scared Hitless has been playing, but it hasn’t been going well. These two teams are batting for the right to play…the Legends. The loser gets Sticky. Sounds fun. SCARED HITLESS BY 3

 

Eyes Downtown vs Tight Ends In Motion (+7) - Eyes Downtown has been really good as of late, but they don’t have the wins to show for it. They lose to Losing Streak, Legends, and Sticky all by one score and arguably should’ve won them all. They can’t be counted out. They’re a few steps ahead of Tight Ends, who are playing better than in the past, but just aren’t quite there yet. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 10

 

Legends vs Losing Streak (+7) - The dream of Losing Streak sneaking into the 2nd seed died when they got dunked on by Frodo, so they’re looking to retool and head into the playoffs with a huge win over the Legends. A win this week would show the Frodo loss was a fluke. Everyone has bad days, right? The Legends have been chugging along and have been arguably the best D1 team since that Week 2 loss to Sticky. LEGENDS BY 3

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

No Punt Intended 36, Practice Squad 21

The Untouchaballs 24, Mavericks 16

Freeballers 30, Practice Squad 21

 

Not much to say here for D2. NPI and The Untouchaballs continue their probable run to the championship game. Freeballers are making things spicy with the return of QB Dylan Jaloza, who I was originally told was out for the season. Very Willis Reed of him. And Practice Squad continues to try, but it’s not looking good right now. Then again, it didn’t look good last season either. And we know how that went. 

This Week’s Games:

 

What’s At Stake: Unfortunately, the lack of “ladder matches” makes this a less interesting week. Untouchaballs are locked into the 1 seed, and NPI is the 2 seed. Neither of them will have to play next week. The intrigue comes from who will be the 3 seed? A Mavericks loss to Practice Squad, coupled with a Freeballers win over the Untouchaballs would give the Ballers the 3 seed and the bye, and put the Mavs in the 4-5 game next week. Practice Squad has clinched the 5 seed. 

 

The Untouchaballs vs Freeballers (+10) - How fun would it be for the Untouchaballs to lose on purpose to mess with the Mavericks? Burr doesn’t lose on purpose though. The Freeballers might be peaking at the right time, but their future is the 4-5 seed game next week. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 10

 

Mavericks vs Practice Squad (+10) - The Mavericks have had a really nice first season in the TSL. I’m sure they’d have liked a few more wins, but wouldn’t everyone? What matters is that their scoring is as good as anyone’s here, and the defense is improving weekly. I don’t want to kick Practice Squad while they’re down, but they might need one more difference maker on offense. MAVERICKS BY 10

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games;

 

Can’t Touch This 41, Wanderers 38

Jabronies 54, Bullet Club 8

Vaspian 32, Itches and Ohs 22

Degeneration Sexy 42, Vaspian 34

Itches and Ohs 32, Let's Get Reccked 29

Another fun week in the TSL’s most fun division. CTT comes in clutch with ANOTHER big win, this time over the Wanderers. The Jabronies beat the tar out of Bullet Club. Vaspian continues their ascent in the standings with a win over Itches, only to lose to D-Sex right after. Itches would go on to win their second game, a nailbiter over LGR. D3 is nuts. 

This Week’s Games:

 

What’s At Stake: Seeding, and that’s about it. It doesn’t matter who any of these teams play in the playoffs, there are no “easy” games. The Jabronies have the 1 seed locked up, and CTT is the 2 seed with the win against the Wanderers. But after that? Chaos. 

Wanderers vs Bullet Club (+3) - A rematch of a controversial Week 1 game where Bullet Club got the win on the last play after a Wanderers penalty nullified a game winning TD. Since that game, the Wanderers have gone on to have 1 score games against everyone but the Jabronies, and Bullet Club has gone 1-4, losing close ones to everyone but the Jabronies. These two seem quite similar, which means it's the Wanderers turn to win, potentially setting up a rubber match in the playoffs. WANDERERS BY 2

 

Let's Get Reccked vs Degeneration Sexy (+3) - D-Sex has been better as of late, getting in some wins. They’re peaking at the right time for sure. LGR is still a bit of an enigma, and their 3-3-1 record shows that. A win gives them a shot at the 3 seed. A D-Sex win gives them a shot at the 6 seed. Not sure who wants it more. LETS GET RECCKED BY 1

 

Jabronies vs Itches and Ohs (+7) - This game means nothing for the Jabronies, but that doesn’t mean they’ll play it that way. Itches and Ohs picked up right where they left off a couple of weeks ago, but they’re perhaps a little too inconsistent to compete with the best team in D3. JABRONIES BY 10

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice 28, Travis Henry’s Kids 26

Cunning Stunts 34, BAADies 16

Cunning Stunts 44, Passing While Intoxicated 22

Puckett All-Stars 24, Cobblestone 14

Passing While Intoxicated 41, Creekers 27

 

Buffalo Vice knocks off THK in a close one. The Cunning Stunts reminded everyone just who they are as they improved to 5-2 after wins over the BAADies and PWI. PWI would go on to win a game later against the Creekers. Puckett proceeds to barely get by Darryl and Cobblestone. 

This Week’s Games:

 

What’s At Stake: Seedings a plenty! Vice takes on Puckett for the #1 seed and the right to play the #8 seeded Creekers. Everything else is a jumbled mess that will work itself out. 

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Buffalo Vice (EVEN) - Remember when Puckett was going to destroy everyone and waltz to the title? They haven’t been quite the same in a couple of weeks. They’re still playing well, but not as lights out as before. Buffalo Vice handed Puckett a 53-46 loss two weeks ago, and now the stakes are even bigger as I’m sure either team would much rather play the Creekers over whoever ends up in 7th place. Puckett gets revenge. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 5

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Cobblestone (+7) - Is there any team that’s having more fun than PWI? If you ignore the whole “life saving” situation, this team always represents at the bar and on the field. They’re 4-2-1 and they’re a contender for the D4 title. Buddy has been a great QB for them, and the girls are really making strides as players. It's everything you could ask for. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 10

 

BAADies vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+3) - Both of these teams come into the game at 3-4 and they’re both falling a little short of their own expectations. They both score well, but they both struggle on defense. If they don’t shore that up, it’ll be a quick playoff run for both of them. THK’s girls are reportedly playing better, but they’re still not quite on the BAADies’ level. BAADIES BY 3. 

 

Cunning Stunts vs Creekers (+20) - The Stunts are B-A-C-K. Whatever hiccups they had in the beginning of the season are long gone and Joey and the ladies have been dominant since a 1-2 start to the year. They have an outside chance at yet another division title if Vice and Puckett tie. Probably not going to happen, but it’s there. They’re morphing into D4 favorites. The Creekers are having fun, or so I’ve been told. It’s always tough being a new team placed in a division too high. I look forward to seeing how they perform in D5/D6 in the fall.  CUNNING STUNTS BY 24 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Not So Sticky 21, TMA 20

GUCCI 26, Tater Tots 24

Come From Behind 34, Long Balls 14

 

NSS squeaks by TMA in a close one between two teams falling short of preseason expectations. GUCCI takes out the Tots (who lose ANOTHER close one) to continue to reign supreme in D5. Come From Behind just keeps doing what they’ve done for 4 decades: Win. This time the Long Balls were the victims. 

This Week’s Games:

 

What’s At Stake: GUCCI can clinch the #1 seed with a win in either of their two games thanks to their 35-34 win over Come From Behind a few weeks ago. If they lose both and CFB wins, CFB gets the 1 seed. The rest of the division is a mess though, as the 3-8 seeds can all be shaken up with this week’s results. 

 

Come From Behind vs TMA (+10) - When was the last time we saw TMA in last place in the division? I don’t think that’s happened since they were more focused on moonshine than football. After a promising start, they’ve gone 0-5. It’s been a tough season for TMA. CFB keeps moving right along, the only D5 team that’s scored over 200 points right now also has its best defense too. I don’t know how they’ve lost twice. COME FROM BEHIND BY 12

 

Tater Tots vs Goatsack! (+3) - The Tots keep losing close ones and they sit at 2-4-1. It’s very misleading, and with some help they can climb to the 3 seed where they would be justified in feeling like they should be there anyway. Goatsack has been quietly moving up the standings themselves, and they’ve already beaten the Tots once. It’s hard to beat the same team twice. TATER TOTS BY 2

 

GUCCI vs Not So Sticky (+10) - GUCCI has been killing it, Kelly Kane is on the QB Rankings list, and life is good for the D5 leaders. NSS snuck out a win last weekend, but they have such extreme issues on offense this season (blame Jeff Krol for taking Christine out of action) that it just doesn’t look like their year. GUCCI rolls. GUCCI BY 17

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Long Balls (+3) - The Long Balls had a chance to really step up last weekend and instead they fell short against CFB. They shouldn’t feel upset about that though, they’re a great team. ILF has been moving pieces around, trying to find a winning formula, and I think it’s safe to say that they’re in a good spot. This should be a good game. ILF BY 7

 

GUCCI vs ILF (+7) - The Falcons get two really good opponents this weekend. There’s no shame in going 1-1. GUCCI BY 3

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Southside 45, Sausage McMuffins 14

Grass Eaters 39, Balls Deep 22

Mighty Drunks 28, Back That Pass Up 0

Two Tuddies 42, Pit Harade 0

Two Tuddies 21, Sausage McMuffins 0 (forfeit)

 

D6 had a lot of easy victories this past week. Southside continues to roll over D6, walking to a big win over the McMuffins. The Grass Eaters didn’t miss a beat, winning by 17 over Balls Deep. And then the Mighty Drunks shutout BTPU, while the Two Tuddies shutout Pit Harade and then got a forfeit win over the McMuffins. 

This Week’s Games:

 

What’s At Stake: Southside’s win over the Two Tuddies means they’ve clinched the 1 seed in D6, while the Tud Buds will be the 2 seed. Back That Pass Up has clinched the 9 seed, where they’ll play either Pit Harade or the Mighty Drunks in the 8-9 game. The other team will be the 7 seed. Seeds 3-6, like all of the other divisions, is chaos and can go all sorts of ways. 

Grass Eaters vs Back That Pass Up (+10) - BTPU has been struggling to score and struggling to stop anyone. Such is the life of a brand new football team. They get a Grass Eaters team that knows the game inside and out and will be nearly impossible to stop from doing whatever they want. GRASS EATERS BY 18

 

Southside vs Pit Harade (+17) - Southside can score. Pit Harade can’t stop anyone. It’s a pretty awful mix for a brand new team going up against the top seed. But hey, if you’re Southside, it's sort of like a bye week before the playoffs. SOUTHSIDE BY 15

 

Grass Eaters vs Blitzkrieg (EVEN) - This should be a very good matchup. Here we have two very good teams that know how to play football, and provided they play to their abilities, this has all of the makings of a Game of the Day. It comes down to who blinks first. Historically, that’s been Blitzkrieg. GRASS EATERS BY 2

 

Blitzkrieg vs Balls Deep (+3) - Balls Deep isn’t getting the respect they maybe deserve. They DID beat Southside after all, but getting blown out but the Tuddies, beating the Drunks by 1, and allowing 45 to BTPU (even if they won) shows they’re too inconsistent currently. BLITZKRIEG BY 12

 

Two Tuddies vs Mighty Drunks (+7) - The Drunks have really gotten it together as of late, beating the McMuffins and BTPU. But with one score losses to Balls Deep and Southside, maybe we should’ve seen this coming? The Tuddies are oh so close to a 7-1 final record, and they’re arguably playing some of the best football in the TSL, not just D6. The Drunks should be happy with how they’ve progressed, and they should look to the Tuddies as an example of what they can become very, very soon. TWO TUDDIES BY 3

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• What about the wildfires and air quality warnings? The TSL is monitoring the situation closely. If there’s a point where the games are unsafe to play, they’ll be canceled, and you’ll all be notified as soon as possible. 

 

 

 

• Will those games be made up? Nope. If the last week of the season gets canceled, the playoffs will still start next weekend. The TSL won’t push games into the July 4th weekend (or take two weeks off and play AFTER that. Who would do such a thing?). 

 

 

 

• What surprises are we getting for Lenny and Rameer Day? It appears that the Rose Garden will have food and drink specials. I believe there will be a dunk tank (that is just ripe for Breakfast Club bets), and a slip and slide too. Not to mention a table for various alcoholic gaming activities. 

 

 

 

• How’s Breakfast Club going? The playoffs for Breakfast Club start at 9am this week. Not surprisingly, Steph’s team has a bye week. Surprisingly, Becca’s does too. 

 

 

 

• With Josh Allen on the cover of Madden 24, does this mean the return of B’s Brother’s TSL Madden team? Only Jeffrey can answer that, but it used to be a giant honor for B’s Brother to create your player in Madden and place you on his team. Hopefully he brings this rite of passage back. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE SATURDAY:

 

 

• Breakfast Club Playoff Predictions: 

• The VaJennas 37, The Ash Slinging Slashers 31

• Liddle Dubs 40, Komosexuals 34

 

 

 

• I got to listen to this week’s podcast yesterday and I have to say that Frank from Wanderers is must listen radio. Lenny would be proud. 

 

 

 

• Best Games To Watch: 

• 10:00 - Bullet Club vs Wanderers

• 11:00 - Cobblestone vs Passing While Intoxicated

• 12:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Grass Eaters

• 1:00 - ILF vs Long Balls

• 2:00 - Legends vs Losing Streak

• 3:00 - Itches and Ohs vs Jabronies

 

 

 

• Three teams that are getting hot at the right time: Vaspian, Grass Eaters, Eyes Downtown. Future Bracket Busters. 

 

 

 

• I wonder how many times a regular season #1 seed has actually won the championship? 

 

 

 

• Assuming the air is breathable, Saturday is shaping up to be a perfect day for football. 

 

 

 

• Word is that the fields will be worked on in the offseason between sessions. They also said an indoor facility would start being built, so perhaps temper your expectations. 

 

 

 

• The Wine Tournament is officially August 5th, teams are already starting to form. Make sure you don’t miss out on the mega event of the summer! 

 

 

 

• Extra reminder to be nice to the refs this week. The last thing you’d want is to be suspended for the playoffs. 

 

 

 

• It’s amazing how fast a season flies by. It seems like just yesterday Jeff reached out to me to see if I was still going to write this article, and all of a sudden we’re heading to the playoffs. 

 

Remember, this week is a week for celebrating and having a good time. Next week is when the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality truly begins. 

We miss you Lenny and Rameer. 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 6 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 26 May 2023 12:31

Published: Friday, 26 May 2023 12:31

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 869

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, we’re somehow just a few days away from June football. That’s right, after this weekend, we’re at one more month of TSL football. We’re in the stretch run, a time where teams that haven’t figured it out just yet probably won’t, and those that have are looking to keep it together. Speaking of keeping it together, the TSL went through another medical emergency during play, and once again the league came together and helped save a life. The amazing work of those on hand will never go unnoticed, and I wanted to take a second to shout out Amanda Scholz and Ashley Bower for their selflessness during this event. I know for sure that there were more out there that helped during the situation, and I apologize for not having your names, but I can only go on what was told to me. 

 

The point is that everyone was amazing once again, and you all prevented a much bigger tragedy from occurring. Thank you. This league is chock full of amazing people that often go unnoticed or are underrated with their contributions. In fact, every single Division has a team that is going completely overlooked or ignored. So it got me thinking: Who are the most overlooked teams in each division? Well, I’ll tell you: 

In D1, the answer is easy. It’s Scared Hitless. The oddsmakers basically left them for dead (100-1 odds before last week), and for good reason. They weren’t scoring, and they sure weren’t stopping anyone. But as it's been said before, they had the HARDEST POSSIBLE SCHEDULE to start the season, and it's even more of a surprise they didn’t actually do worse. So how did they respond last week? They won, 26-23 against a 1-6 Grey Hair Don’t Care, and all of a sudden SH is 1-3 with games against Frodo, Eyes Downtown, Tight Ends, and Grey Hair one more time to go. Don’t be surprised to see them sitting at 4-4 going into the playoffs. 

 

In D2, well, it's hard to pick someone that hasn’t gotten a lot of credit, because quite frankly there’s only 5 teams here. I’ll go with Freeballers though. Most people were writing them off after Dylan went down with his season ending injury, but early reports (and a 27-23 close loss to NPI) show that maybe the new QB won’t be that bad at all. 

 

In D3, ironically, I wanted to say the team getting the most overlooked is actually the team sitting in first place. The Jabronies haven’t gotten the publicity of a Wanderers, Bullet Club, or even the just as hot Can’t Touch This. But they aren’t the answer. The real answer is the last place 0-4-1 Vaspian. I know what you’re thinking: How? Well, if we throw out the 37-12 loss to Bullet Club to start the year, here are the rest of Vaspian’s games: loss by 2 to Wanderers, loss by 5 to Can’t Touch This, loss by 1 to Jabronies, tie LGR 27-27. Yeah, they went 0-3-1 in those games, but with a point differential of -8. Vaspian could very easily be 4-1 and the talk of the league right now. Don’t sleep on them. 

 

In D4, Buffalo Vice finds themselves a little overlooked. When you’re in a division that has the juggernaut that is Puckett, the constant drama of THK, two iconic gender teams, a very good PWI team, Darryl Carr QB Superstar, and a team with Mullet Guy, it's understandable to be the forgotten team. A long time franchise that has their big armed QB back, and a plethora of talented females can do JUST fine in D4. I think they’re fine being under the radar though. 

 

In D5, the answer is very clearly the Long Balls. They’re sitting at 2-2-1, fourth in the division. They’re a bit newer to the league, and you really only know Buddy Lee on the roster. But they just tied the Tater Tots, and last week they beat TMA, so they’re on the rise. Long Balls, nobody knows who you are, so why don’t you introduce yourself to me? Email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or something. Who ARE you? 

 

In D6, Balls Deep is just casually hanging out at 3-2. The former Punt Cakes added some Spinelli’s talent, and they’re the only team to beat super power Southside this season. They played the McMuffins VERY tight (a 12-6 loss), beat Pit Harade and the Mighty Drunks, and got blown out by the Tuddies as well. They’re having a pretty good season, and with a remaining schedule of Back That Pass Up, Grass Eaters, and Blitzkrieg on the way, they COULD end up 6-2, though 5-3 feels more likely. Even still they’re right in the thick of things. 

 

So there you have it, some of the most underrated teams in the TSL right now that come June could surprise a lot of teams. If you’re looking for teams to bet on to pull an upset or two in the playoffs, I think this is the list. It’s going to be very interesting to see what happens over the next 3 weeks. But let’s just focus on Week 6 for now. 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Legends 22, Losing Streak 19

Scared Hitless 26, Grey Hair Don’t Care 23

Eyes Downtown 19, Tight Ends In Motion 8

Losing Streak 37, Grey Hair Don’t Care 16

 

The Legends sneak by Losing Streak, who would go on to dismantle Grey Hair Don’t Care later on. Scared Hitless gets in the win column with their own victory over GHDC as well. Eyes Downtown wins a dogfight against TEIM as well. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Sticky Bandits vs Tight Ends In Motion (+10) - I remember when this used to be a marquee rivalry matchup. However these two teams find themselves in different stages of the franchise right now, with Sticky the one as a top contender for the title, and TEIM on the outside looking in. TEIM keeps it within a score. STICKY BANDITS BY 6

 

Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+13) - Frodo finds themselves at the bottom of the standings after the Scared Hitless win last week. A game against Sticky Bandits isn’t exactly what the doctor ordered for this team that’s still figuring it out. STICKY BANDITS BY 20

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Scared Hitless (EVEN) - Here’s a fun matchup! Scared Hitless, finally getting a win last week, against a Frodo team that’s in a similar spot to them. I know, they’re both 1-3 right now (with Frodo probably 1-4 going into this one), so it doesn’t LOOK exciting on paper, but they’re both going to be playing for some respect. Scared Hitless has been here before. They’ll get it done. SCARED HITLESS BY 9

 

Legends vs Eyes Downtown (+7) - The Legends are still playing really good football, and now that they’re clicking, they’re going to be hard to shut up on the field AND off the field yet again. Eyes Downtown continues to lurk behind the division leaders, and a win here would vault them into the top tier of championship contenders. They can’t hang with this All-Star team though. LEGENDS BY 14

 

Eyes Downtown vs Scared Hitless (+10) - This is SH’s real winnable test, and I believe they’ll perform well. Just not well enough. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 8

D2: 

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

No Punt Intended 27, Freeballers 23

Mavericks 30, No Punt Intended 20

The Untouchaballs 35, Practice Squad 0

 

No Punt Intended fights off a very game Freeballers squad before losing their first game of the season against the Mavericks. The Untouchaballs absolutely demolished Practice Squad, in a game that had B contemplating retiring forever on the spot, or so I’ve been told. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

No Punt Intended vs The Untouchaballs (+3) - The Untouchaballs are the hotter team coming into this game after the stomping they put on PS last week. NPI finally lost a game, which is fine since they weren’t going undefeated anyway. These two played a fantastic Week 1 game where NPI won 32-31. This is the only D2 game being played this week, and it's easily the best game we could have from this Division. Get ready for another shootout. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 2

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Degeneration Sexy 23, Bullet Club 21

Can’t Touch This 49, Itches and Ohs 19

Jabronies 38, Wanderers 27

Let’s Get Reccked 27, Vaspian 27

Degeneration Sexy helps Bullet Club’s slide continue (0-3 after a 3-0 start) with their first win of the season. Can’t Touch This continues to be one of the TSL’s hottest teams, winning AGAIN, destroying the Moser-less Itches and Ohs by 30. The TSL's other hottest team, the Jabronies won their 4th straight, taking a victory over the Wanderers and claiming 1st in the division. Finally, Vaspian gets its first non-loss of the year in a 27-27 tie with Let’s Get Reccked. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Can’t Touch This vs Vaspian (+6) - Yes, CTT is the hottest team in the league right now. But heavy is the head that wears that title. I just spent a whole paragraph earlier talking about how sneaky good Vaspian has been, even though they don’t have the wins to show it. Right now, it feels like nothing can go wrong for CTT though, which for some reason makes me feel like they’re due. This is probably dumb, but it's hard to beat a team twice. VASPIAN BY 2

 

Let's Get Reccked vs Degeneration Sexy (+3) - D-Sex finally got in the win column last weekend, and they’re looking for more. LGR is all over the place as usual, tying Vaspian. Both teams are really figuring things out for themselves more and more each week, and for whatever reason I just feel that the Keller clan is about to get hot. DEGENERATION SEXY BY 7

 

Jabronies vs Itches and Ohs (+12) - This would’ve been a cooler matchup if everyone was going to be there, but instead the Jabronies get an easier game to hold onto the #1 seed in the division. I’m looking forward to when these two meet up in June. JABRONIES BY 10

 

D4: 

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice 44, Creekers 14

BAADies 41, Cobblestone 13

 

Just a couple of blowouts in D4 last weekend. Buffalo Vice continued making it a long season for the Creekers, and the BAADies easily handled Darryl’s team that was cobbled together last weekend. The marquee matchup of PWI - Puckett was, of course, canceled and will be played at a later date. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Buffalo Vice (+13) - The line isn’t really indicative of anything Buffalo Vice is doing, it's just more about how dominant Puckett has been. These two get to play each other twice in the last couple of weeks, so we’ll really see just how underrated Buffalo Vice might be. Puckett has looked awesome, averaging over FIFTY points per game. But, other than a thrashing of THK, they’ve beaten the “worst” teams in the division with monster wins over a BAADies team that was just learning to play together, the Stunts which only have 3 games this season, and the Creekers, who are “The Replacements” level of “in the wrong division”. PAS was actually losing to PWI before the game was called. Perhaps they’ve just had an easy schedule so far? This game will tell. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 6

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Cobblestone (+10) - I don’t envy PWI. I’m sure it’s going to be some level of difficult to play in this one after last week. But the one thing this team has shown since they started here has been perseverance. They’ve played in a lot of games where they were thought to be a huge underdog and won, they had a title perhaps stolen from them with an eye injury, they came back and won it the next season. They’re performing in D4. If there’s any group that can bounce back quickly, it's them. They get first ballot Hall of Famer Darryl Carr QB Superstar though, so they better be as focused as possible. Last week was an aberration for Darryl, and Cobblestone should be much better this week. I don’t think it’ll matter. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 12

 

Cunning Stunts vs Creekers (+10) - The Creekers’ -111 point differential is easily the worst in the league, and things aren’t going to get easier playing the Stunts. Or will it? The Stunts have only played THREE games together this season, and they were uncharacteristically beaten soundly by Buffalo Vice and Puckett. They handled business against Cobblestone, but they don’t feel very “Stunty” right now. This is a hell of a “get right” game for the ladies. CUNNING STUNTS BY 20

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs BAADies (+8) - THK is sitting in 2nd place, a marked improvement from last season. They’re 3-1, and other than a bad loss against PAS, Langley’s gang has done everything right this season. Now THK gets a BAADies team that’s finally rolling, in the first part of a THK vs the gender teams double header. The BAADies can score, but they also have to figure out a defensive plan for “Langley throws it deep to Pistol Pete”. I think they’ll make enough stops to do it. BAADIES BY 8

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Cunning Stunts (+10) - …but I don’t think that the Stunts will be able to do the same. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 17

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Tater Tots 20, Not So Sticky 13

Long Balls 18, TMA 15

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 43, Goatsack! 23

GUCCI 35, Come From Behind 34

 

The Tater Tots take a win over Not So Sticky that gets them back on the winning track, Long Balls get a signature win over TMA, ILF really looks like they’re starting to figure things out offensively in a win over Goatsack!, and GUCCI nails down their claim to the D5 championship with a big win over Come From Behind. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Tater Tots vs Goatsack! (+7) - The Tots season is finally looking to balance itself out and get on the right path as they’re 1-0-1 in the last couple games. It’s a start. They get a Goatsack team that is still finding their own way in the division. This feels like a team trending upwards vs one that’s just treading water right now. TATER TOTS BY 10

 

TMA vs Goatsack! (+3) - Maybe we should pump the brakes on TMA a little bit. After beating GUCCI in the rain, and demolishing the Tots, TMA has since been smacked around by ILF and lost to the Long Balls last week. They’ve only scored 22 points in those games, and the offense has looked rather lost. They’re ripe for an upset. GOATSACK! BY 6

 

Come From Behind vs TMA (+8) - And things don’t get any easier for TMA after that, as they get a CFB squad that’s coming off a loss to GUCCI. CFB still sports one of the top offenses in the division, but they also have a nice defense too. I don’t think TMA can keep pace with CFB. COME FROM BEHIND BY 14

 

GUCCI vs Not So Sticky (+10) - GUCCI has been playing some excellent football as of late, and they’re averaging just over 32 points per game so far. NSS hasn’t been great on offense at all this season, averaging just over 18 points per game this season. NSS seems to need a “Division 5.5” to compete the way they want to. Never scoring more than 23 points in a game this year is a problem. GUCCI BY 10

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Long Balls (+7) - Well, here’s another test for the Long Balls. If they’re going to be taken seriously at all in this division, they need to start racking up a couple more signature wins. A win over the Falcons would do exactly that. ILF has been righting the ship after losses to NSS and CFB, and they’re looking more in sync than ever. This is going to be a good one. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 7

D6: 

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Blitzkrieg 27, Back That Pass Up 16

Two Tuddies 40, Grass Eaters 20

Sausage McMuffins 39, Pit Harade 18

Southside 27, Mighty Drunks 18

 

Nothing shocking happened in D6 last weekend. The teams you expected to win won. Blitzkrieg handled BTPU, the Tuddies beat up on the Grass Eaters, the McMuffins walked to 5-0 over Pit Harade, and Southside handled the Mighty Drunks. There’s a clear talent line in D6 between the contenders and the pretenders forming. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Southside vs Grass Eaters (+8) - It’s going to be hard to see how the Eaters stack up against Southside without their QB this week. Southside hasn’t looked as strong the last two weeks, losing to Balls Deep and then only beating the Mighty Drunks by 9. They’re going to look to get back on track this week. SOUTHSIDE BY 13

 

Balls Deep vs Back That Pass Up (+8) - If Balls Deep truly is going to be a contender this season, they’ll need to make sure they handle business against a not very good BTPU team. I want to think that Balls Deep can be a contender. They have the talent for sure. BTPU is the only team that hasn’t scored 100 points yet in the division. They also struggle on defense as well. Never a good combination. BALLS DEEP BY 14

 

Two Tuddies vs Blitzkrieg (+6) - Blitzkrieg just seems to be a bit off this season. Something isn’t clicking right, and their on field results show that as well. They’ve struggled with the contenders of the division so far this year, and it's not going to get easier with the Tuddies. Meanwhile, the Tud Buds have settled into contender status, as they’ve secured easy wins over Balls Deep, BTPU, and now the Grass Eaters. This game could represent a “changing of the guard” in D6. TWO TUDDIES BY 12

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Mighty Drunks (+16) - The Drunks have been playing teams tough, but not tough enough. They’re closing in on their first win, but it isn’t going to be this week. This is a classic trap game for the upstart McMuffins, who need to make sure they’re not caught looking ahead to next week’s double header against Southside and the Two Tuddies. The #1 seed matters in D6, as they’ll end up playing the 8-9 seed play in winner. Alex will keep his team focused. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 14

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• How will the Memorial Day weekend affect the games? Usually pretty substantially. A lot of teams will be shorthanded with players out of town or camping. That usually means it’ll be a wild week for games. 

 

 

 

• With all of the rain this season, can we trust what the current standings are right now? No, we can’t. But that’s not even because of the rain itself. Lots of teams end up missing players and not really finding their stride during the regular season, and then they get it together for the playoffs. It’s part of why it’s a wild ride every Playoff Saturday. 

 

 

 

• So, does the Regular Season even matter? Since all teams are making the playoffs this season, the regular season matters a little less for sure. But teams love winning their division and getting a game against the bottom seed. Or what about in D2, where winning the division gets you a bye to Championship Saturday? In D4, the #1 seed gets you the Creekers, which is basically a bye week. In D6, the #1 seed gets to play the winner of the two teams that are currently both 0-5. So, it matters a little bit for those looking to finish first in the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality. 

 

 

 

• Who needs a good week this weekend? The doubleheader teams. I think TMA needs to go 2-0 and get back on track or the season could spiral. The Cunning Stunts need to remind everyone who they are. Going 2-0 would do that. If Blitzkrieg wants to be taken seriously again in D6, they need to beat the Tuddies. 

 

 

 

• Who are we really forgetting about this season? Tight Ends In Motion. They can’t actually be THAT bad, right? They feel like a good team that’s just been caught by teams at the right times this year, and when they’re at full strength in the “games that matter”, they’ll be upsetting someone in the 4-5 playoff game en route to giving whoever wins the #1 seed fits on Championship Saturday. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• After suffering through another rainy week, this weekend looks PERFECT for football in Buffalo. Sunny and 76 degrees. 

 

 

 

• Top Games to watch this weekend: 

• 10:00 - No Punt Intended vs The Untouchaballs

• 11:00 - TMA vs Goatsack!

• 12:00 - Can’t Touch This vs Vaspian

• 1:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Two Tuddies

• 2:00 - BAADies vs Travis Henry’s Kids

• 3:00 - Itches and Ohs vs Jabronies

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• Steph Infection 44, The ASS 37

• BDSM 38, Komosexuals 31

• Liddle Dubs 30, The VaJennas 17

 

 

 

• Speaking of Breakfast Club, did you know that playing in BC is the only way to get onto the sublist? So if you want to be on the sublist, sign up for Breakfast Club in the fall! 

 

 

 

• Shout out to long time TSL Legend Jim Hearn who has been reportedly always rocking at the bar this season and keeping the party going. 

 

 

 

• Every week on the TSL Podcast, the guest’s final thoughts usually center around people not picking up their garbage at the fields every week. Be better people. Pick up your trash. Thank you to everyone that takes a second to pick up the fields, even when it isn’t your mess. 

 

 

 

• Extra shout out to the referees this week. They stuck it out in awful conditions last weekend to make sure you guys could play your games. 

 

 

 

• With that said, stop screaming at the refs. I’ve gotten too many reports of teams or individuals getting a little too “mouthy” at the fields again. The referees are being instructed to kick people out of the games if they keep it up. Repeat offenders will be suspended. 

 

 

 

• Three teams that aren’t as good as they look right now: Puckett All-Stars, Sausage McMuffins, The Untouchaballs.

 

 

 

• Three teams that aren’t as bad as they’ve looked lately: Practice Squad, Bullet Club, Blitzkrieg. 

 

Happy Memorial Day weekend TSL! Go out and have yourselves a great Week 6. 

 

-GF OUT