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Week 7 Thoughts, Picks & Advice

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 07 June 2019 12:49
Published: Friday, 07 June 2019 12:49
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 2664


It was supposed to be a nice, easy Saturday for me.


The winds were light, about 5 MPH, coming from the southwest. Things are little wet, but the temperature was in the 70s. I had absolutely nothing going on in Des Moines, Iowa for once. My life is busy you know, there’s more to it than just being the World’s Greatest Social Co-Ed Football Writer. I was going to have a nice, quiet “Me” Day. I fired up the smoker with my Hickory wood chunks, and got ready to slow cook a nice rack of ribs while I just relaxed.


And then, my phone went off. “No big deal” I thought, and I ignored it. And then another one. And another one. Before I knew it, my phone was lighting up non-stop. And why? Well, a lot of my friends at the TSL were informing me of a “happening” that was taking place. The way my phone reacted you’d have thought Lenny Alba had shown up to the fields and was passing out the thousands of friendship bracelets he’d been working on “this whole time”.


But no! Instead, we had a fight. A freaking fight. I received MULTIPLE accounts of the situation. I was fired up, and I wanted to just fly to Buffalo to smack the sense into some people. I still do, to a degree. But its later in the week now, and suspensions have been handed out. Good on Topper for showing the league that regardless of what you think you know, its never okay to abuse the officials.


No, I don’t know if the ‘Wet Bandit’ (not to be confused with Sticky) spit in our ref’s face on purpose or if it was just spray from his gums flapping 3 inches away. But here’s what I DO know: If you’re going to be that much of a jerk that you have to be IN A REF’S FACE SCREAMING DURING A SOCIAL CO-ED FOOTBALL LEAGUE GAME THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE FOR FUN, you need to re-evaluate your life. If you’re going to get that close to someone to yell and be that much of a jerk that a person thought you DID spit on them, and you get beat up for it? You need to re-evaluate your life. If, after the fact, a good chunk of my messages were from other refs sharing their experiences and letting me know other times you were a jerk on the field and they had to warn you to calm down, kick you off the field for the series, or anything else? YOU NEED TO RE-EVALUATE YOUR LIFE. There’s a reason TMA, probably the BEST group of people in the TSL on one team (Seriously, look at this roster of beauties: Ferger, Brent, Web, Drunk Meg, the other Val, the other other Bernal, There’s that Rich guy that’s super cool but people don’t even know him, I’m going to ignore saying Prim or Rameer here because it doesn’t fully support my narrative, and there’s like 15 other cool people on their roster that show up every week) kicked you off of their team, and it was all about your on field attitude. It’s GARBAGE, and if you think anyone feels sorry for you outside of the Ugandan Warriors locker room: They don’t. Re-evaluate your life.


I’m not using his name because he doesn’t deserve the press. But, in fairness, I will say that I did get messages about him being a really good guy off the field, and they’re from sources I trust. So I guess you need to re-evaluate your on field persona. There’s a problem when a league of 600+ amazing human beings who treat each other (mostly) like family universally kind of go “Oh it was him? Well, I’m not surprised.” This isn’t the place for that attitude. You have some time to think, so do it.


No, this doesn’t excuse the referee from fighting. He made his mistakes too, and he was punished for his actions as well. But, 100% of the TSLers polled about this scenario all agreed that if someone was screaming in their face and they thought said person spit on them, well, they’d do the exact same thing. The situation NEVER should’ve gotten to that point. Again, its NEVER okay for any TSLer to get up in a ref’s face and SCREAM at them. Our referees donate part of their Saturdays to make sure that we continue to have the best league in WNY, and they don’t have to be there. It isn’t just a case of “we can find more refs easily” either. Rameer works hard to set up that schedule, and he has to re-do it twice weekly it seems. It isn’t as easy as you think. Just because you give them $20 doesn’t mean they work for you. Treat them with respect. (Except for Garbacz. Do what you want with that guy.)


With that out of the way, WELCOME TO WEEK 7 OF THE TSL SPRING 2019 SEASON!


There’s actually some exciting stuff happening in the league this time around! I’m going to give a shout out right now to an email I received from one of my informants that he (or she) forwarded to me with some super exciting news:


The Ultimate Warriors have made the switch. Starting at QB will be Samantha Lattuca, the Icebox, the face of the franchise no matter what their name has been. This is huge news! I love it! Straight from the mouth (hands?) of her husband T, “2 weeks ago she came in at halftime down 18 and tied the game. If she would’ve started we would’ve won as the other QB (myself) threw 3 bad picks that turned into scores.” This is fun stuff. He would also go on to point out that the other QB (named “Shane”) is the Ultimate Warriors’ fastest receiver and immediately gives Sam her best weapon. Yes, the Ultimate Warriors are 0-7. It hasn’t been the greatest season in terms of record, but they’ve still kept games close. On the other side of the field? All We Do Is Quinn. Well, nothing like trial by fire I guess! As of now, this is a first round playoff matchup. The Warriors could catch Morning Wood with two wins by season’s end, but I don’t think they will. Quinn could bomb out and lose first place, but I don’t think they will. So here’s hoping Sam can figure out the Quinn defenses and maybe even pull off the upset. If not here, maybe in the playoffs? We can only hope! Good luck Sam, I think everyone will be rooting for you!


The D1/D2 (C1/C2) crossover games start this week! Topper, in an effort to give teams someone else to play (those 6 team divisions can get a repetitive schedule wise), created this week to give these teams some fun. It’s also a nice way to show if the gap between the divisions is as wide as some of these scared-y cats in D2/C2 act like it is. Should be a fun litmus test for sure.

We’re getting closer and closer to the playoffs and every game counts. Who’s going to step it up in Week 7?

My normal games format isn’t really going to work for the crossover games, and I can’t really make official lines and predictions. But I’ll make the prediction that C2 teams will win at LEAST two of the games. But which ones? Let’s see: 


Public Enemy vs Bullet Club – Two teams of a lot of friends (and some maybe not so friends) come together to play a game that will absolutely have a lot of trash talking, drinking, hugs, and thoughts about Lenny. This game was originally supposed to be more for fun (I think there was talk about having a Tommy Hughes vs Gordon at QB matchup) but the Public Enemy 17 game winning streak has added a bit more spice to it. PE doesn’t want to lose the streak, and there’s nothing BC would like more than to be the ones that did it. Low chance to be the D2 upset here.


Tight Ends in Motion vs A&A – A very fun matchup between Emily Curry and Matty Ice is on the docket here as TEIM and A&A face off in what could be a close matchup if A&A actually gets their full roster to show up. Word is that JZ still won’t be available for A&A, so that actually helps them in this game. If Matty can solve the TEIM defense a few times, look out. Good chance for a D2 upset.


Marketing Mayors vs Money Ball – Electric Blue vs More Electric Pink. Wear your sunglasses if you’re going to watch this one. Money Ball has a 2-4 record in C2 and they got the unlucky draw of having to play the Mayors. We aren’t sure if the “Have Scott Pinto throw the ball as far as he can so Radon can go get it” offense is going to work as well against names like “Andy Smith”, but hey lets see how it goes. Low chance for the D2 upset.


1 Todd Too Many vs Energy Buff – The biggest question is going to be which team will NOT wear grey? Team Topper has fallen on hard times, but a game against Energy Buff could be what the doctor ordered. While EB has been much better as of late, with QB Tommy getting rid of his sleeves and figuring out the TSL game, that doesn’t mean they’ll run right by 1TTM. High chance for the D2 upset.


Eyes Downtown vs Title Shot – Eyes Downtown has Bobby back and is rolling. Title Shot was missing some people last week and it cost them, even with Dubey showing up. I know ED is fuming over their missed opportunity to break the PE streak last week, and I can’t see them losing against a Title Shot team that seems to be out of sorts last weekend. Low chance for the D2 upset.


#XTC@Angry Buffalo vs Gryffindor – These two squads have been both playing some good football as of late, and I think we may actually see a very competitive game here. Gryffindor was almost called up to D1/C1 before the season and #XTC@AB was almost sent down to D2/C2. It’s going to be fun to see this game, and it might be the best one of the bunch. Good chance for the D2 upset.


If I’m getting my prediction right of two D2/C2 wins, my best bets are probably the Gryffindor/Energy Buff parlay. I can still get decent odds on it.





Last Week’s Scores:

Public Enemy 34, Eyes Downtown 25

Marketing Mayors 21, Tight Ends In Motion 12

#XTC@Angry Buffalo 22, 1 Todd Too Many 16


The Ladder Match positional round didn’t give us any upsets here, but we did get three close games. Public Enemy and Eyes Downtown actually gave us THE GAME we were hoping for a few weeks ago, but it makes sense that Bobby’s return was the catalyst for the whining, complaining, hard playing game from both of these teams. Marketing Mayors was having some trouble solving that great defense of TEIM, but Tight Ends struggled to move the ball and score and that’s going to be their biggest problem come playoff time. #XTC@AB has been improving weekly, and it shows, but their only wins have come against Team Topper. Team Topper, meanwhile, has been playing some close games but they just can’t quite figure out how to finish them off with a win. I don’t forsee the playoff standings looking too much different than they do now. The most interesting race is going to be who gets the second bye week for the playoffs: Marketing Mayors or Eyes Downtown? Funny we should say that…


Eyes Downtown vs Marketing Mayors (+3) – Let’s find out! This game is pretty big as I just mentioned for these two teams and their playoff spot. The winner will be in the driver’s seat to get the bye in the playoffs, while the loser is on track to play Topper in the first round. Maybe there are no losers here? This should be an excellent game. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 3




Last Week’s Games:

Bullet Club 40, Title Shot 14

Gryffindor 32, Money Ball 14

A&A 27, Energy Buff 20

Money Ball 43, Title Shot 27

Energy Buff 30, A&A 23


It was a rough week for Title Shot, as they lost games to the division leaders and the last place team. Dubey was there, but they were missing people for both games (and they weren’t the same people either). The Energy Buff-A&A doubleheader gave us two close games where I wasn’t surprised to see these two split. Energy Buff is really coming on at the right time before the playoffs. I’m going to keep saying that until they fall apart. I believe in them! Money Ball is starting to live and die by the long ball. Yes, Radon is fast and talented and handsome. I get throwing deep to him a lot is alluring. But you’re not going to win in the playoffs by doing that stuff constantly. Bullet Club continued to hold the division lead by blowing out Title Shot, but they aren’t without their issues. They’re mostly roster related of course, and the lack of continuity week to week has yet to have them put together a complete game. Gryffindor is really finding their groove as well. They aren’t just winning, they’re scoring a lot. They’re peaking at just the right time, and Joey Batts is one of the hottest QBs in the league right now. This division is honestly up for grabs when it comes to the playoff byes. Bullet Club and A&A have them currently, but one slip up can really hurt any team’s chances. Every game in this division is a big one.




Last Week’s Games:

Peachy Platoon 35, All We Do Is Quinn 24

3rd and Schlong 36, Peachy Platoon 34

Slytherin That End Zone 46, Frodo Swaggins 36

Sticky Bandits 32, Morning Wood 30

Slytherin That End Zone 27, Sticky Bandits 16


So what we’ve essentially learned is that we know nothing at all, except that Morning Wood is a continual disappointment and Dave deserves better. Peachy vs Quinn was everything we wanted it to be and more: entertaining for sure, close game, big plays. There was a nice contingent of fans on hand for this one as well. The main reason Peachy won this game is because their tall guy with long hair and a headband was better than Quinn’s. These types of things win football games. So Peachy established division dominance for about an hour, and then 3rd and Schlong came along and reminded the TSL just exactly who the hell they are. Yes, Peachy just played their most emotionally exhausting game of the season and 3AS took advantage of it, but they showed they’re in the thick of things. Oh hold on, who the hell is 5-2? Oh, its SITE. SITE had the biggest weekend of all these teams last week, quieting the doubters with an impressive win over Frodo Swaggins, and then sticking the proverbial fork in Sticky Bandits at 3:00. All of a sudden, SITE and 3AS are our two hottest teams in the division, but after Saturday, who the hell knows anymore?


All We Do Is Quinn vs Ultimate Warriors (+10) – Yes, Sam is playing QB. But she’s playing a team that just tasted defeat for the first time and they’re going to be focused to get back on the winning track. The people’s choice is for the upset, but I don’t see it. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 13


Slytherin That End Zone vs Morning Wood (+7) – SITE is very hot, and MW is very not right now. Historically, that means that Morning Wood should win 35-20 somehow. However SITE is playing with a chip on their shoulder, and they’re not a fluke. SLYTHERIN THAT ENDZONE BY 10


3rd And Schlong vs Sticky Bandits (+10) – Sticky just isn’t the Sticky we know and love. I’m not sure what the deal is there. 3rd and Schlong’s mission to win the D3/R1 title that started last Fall has been a forgotten storyline with all of the other things going on in this division. Don’t forget about them. 3RD AND SCHLONG BY 7


Peachy Platoon vs Frodo Swaggins (+6) – Peachy’s biggest problem is that while they can score, they still struggle on defense. If they ever figure that part of the game out, look out world. The problem with Frodo is that while they can score, they struggle mightily on defense. Oh boy. Two good offenses vs Two not so good defenses. The Over/Under is 60.5. Take the over. PEACHY PLATOON BY 3




Last Week’s Games:

No Punt Intended 39, Full Throttle 38

Cobblestone 37, Puckett All-Stars 36

End Game 43, Hung Buffalo 8


Two amazing games, and one rude awakening for Hung Buffalo. That’s what we saw in D4/R2 action last week. NPI continued their hot streak, but they ESCAPED Full Throttle, who gave it their best shot for sure. Multiple reports came in about “they had this one girl who was open in the end zone all of the time. She seems like a future star!”. Good work unnamed girl I don’t know! Maybe Lou or Luke can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and tell me who she is. Cobblestone won! They played Puckett hard and they ended up getting a late go ahead score. Darryl’s magic is increasing, and Cobblestone is now in the playoffs instead of being on the outside looking in. Great to see that. End Game, we see you. You did what you’ve been doing all season and you smacked down another would be challenger to your divisional dominance. End Game’s defense is disgusting, and they may just walk to the championship without allowing any points. Seriously, take a look at the QB Power Rankings article. It has lots of awesome graphs and charts that show End Game is blowing away the competition. Uncle Rico’s either had the week off, or they just quit the league altogether after blowing that NPI game a few weeks ago. Just kidding, their wounds are properly healed and I expect them to come out in full force. There’s going to be a lot of positioning for playoffs in these next two weeks. I can’t even fathom how it’ll shake out.


Cobblestone vs Full Throttle (+1) – I had to make Cobblestone the favorite! They’re fresh off a big win and Full Throttle is fresh off another heartbreaking loss. This game means EVERYTHING for the playoffs. It’s essentially a playoff game. The winner is more than likely in, the loser is more than likely out. COBBLESTONE BY 3


Buffalo Solar Solutions vs Hung Buffalo (EVEN) – I don’t know what happened to Hung Buffalo last week. I don’t know what’s happened to BSS the last few weeks. What I do know is that both of these teams really need this win. These two teams are both very similar in points scores, points allowed, and record. While they’ll both make the playoffs, they both need to get themselves on the right track and it’ll be fun to see who does it. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 1


GLBS vs Cobblestone (+8) – As awesome as Cobblestone’s win was last week, reality will come back to haunt them here. GLBS may be a bit out of sorts but hopefully the week off had them reset. What I do know is that Cobblestone struggles to score, and GLBS doesn’t allow anyone to score. Might be a tough game for Darryl. GLBS BY 14


Indecent Exposure vs Puckett All-Stars (+10) – IE was off last weekend, while Puckett was on the receiving end of a finishing blow from Cobblestone. Puckett might just be running for the bus to get this season overwith. INDECENT EXPOSURE BY 7


Hung Buffalo vs Puckett All-Stars (+10) – Same as the game above, but this time Hung Buffalo is here with a little more urgency to win after losing last week. I’m sorry Puckett. HUNG BUFFALO BY 13


End Game vs Indecent Exposure (+8) – Here’s a fun game! Indecent Exposure gets their chance to see how they measure up to the best team in the division. IE is smart enough on offense to be able to solve the defense that End Game has been giving teams, but will they be able to force a turnover or two to pull it out? I think it’ll be close, but ultimately End Game prevails. END GAME BY 3





Last Week’s Games:

HomeTech 33, Hope N Ruin 26

Matty’s Angels 51, Ugandan Warriors 43

Over Compensators 28, Five Star Generals 24

Vandalay Industries 32, Over Compensators 26

Come From Behind 24, Pink Pteratacos 14


The big one, of course, is how Matty’s Angels defeated Ugandan Warriors in a very good matchup. Matty’s scored the go ahead touchdown with about 28 seconds left (depending on who you ask anyway) to break the tie, and stay undefeated in the division. Come From Behind got a nice win against the Pteratacos that pulled them even with PP for some playoff positioning. Vandalay also kept pace with their win over the OC. The mid-tier teams in this division are very close. HomeTech wins! HomeTech Wins! They upset Hope N Ruin, who is just having a terrible season for their own standards. The win move HT into the playoffs, leaving the Over Compensators and the team they just defeated for their own first win, the Five Star Generals, on the outside looking in. There’s still lots of changes to be had in D5, including at the top….


Cunning Stunts vs Matty’s Angels (+3) – That’s right, I said it. Matty’s may be undefeated, but as of right now they aren’t the hottest gender team in the TSL. That belongs to the Cunning Stunts, who have been on a tear lately. Field 4 is the place to be at 10am, as these two teams do battle for the D5 division lead. Both teams can score, but here’s the dirty little secret for Matty’s: They can’t stop anyone. They’re 8th in defense in the division. This is another game to take the over.  CUNNING STUNTS BY 5


HomeTech vs Over Compensators (+3) – That’s right HomeTech! You win and you get favored in a game. This is essentially a playoff matchup, since the loser will more than likely be unable to catch the winner in the standings. I know the OC just won as well, but they did it against a pretty lost Five Star team. HOMETECH BY 7


Come From Behind vs Hope N Ruin (+8) – Hope N Ruin is a lot more Ruin than anything this season. Come From Behind won’t have to do so in this matchup. COME FROM BEHIND BY 10


Ugandan Warriors vs Vandalay Industries (+10) – Vandalay is a very solid team, but let’s face it: Ugandan is pissed they lost the rivalry matchup with the Angels and there’s a lot more that has them fired up at Team Topper Lite. I’m betting the Warriors go for 70 points alone. UGANDAN WARRIORS BY 14


Cunning Stunts vs Pink Pteratacos (+7) – While the Pteratacos are having a good first season together, they’re just outside of the upper tier of D5. The Stunts, as we’ve said earlier, are that upper tier. Either the Stunts will be pumped from their win over Matty’s Angels, or they’ll be looking for revenge. CUNNING STUNTS BY 8


Ugandan Warriors vs Pink Pteratacos (+7) – Big, tough week to be a Pterataco fan. Facing two of the upper tier teams in a doubleheader with no rest should not make for a fun day. UGANDAN WARRIORS BY 10


Vandalay Industries vs Five Star Generals (+10) – Five Star needs this win to stay alive in the playoff hunt, but nothing they’re doing recently shows that they can achieve a win against, well, anyone at this point. VANDALAY INDUSTRIES BY 4




Last Week’s Games:

The Bambs 44, TMA 44

Jabronies 36, Practice Squad 16

Practice Squad 50, Jabronies 24

The Bi-Polar Express 50, pAssless Chaps 0

TMA 30, The Bi-Polar Express 17


Here’s what we learned this week in D6: NOTHING! Okay, we already knew that this has become a two horse race with Jabronies and Practice Squad. And what did that doubleheader show us? Nothing. The top tier of D6 teams (who should both look forward to D5 next season) split this doubleheader 1-1. Jabronies won by 20, and then Practice Squad won by 26. I have no idea who was/wasn’t there, but I can say that the D6 title game looks interesting. TMA went 1-0-1 on the weekend, but really shouldn’t have. The Bambs had only 5 players on the field due to a severe female shortage. They were winning the game rather easily for the most part as reporters have told me that “The one shaved head guy who was better than the other shaved head guy was killing it.”. And then tragedy struck, as Brooke, the only girl The Bambs had, broke her ankle. The Bambs were going to be forced to forfeit the game they were winning, and instead Ferger was a nice guy and suggested a tie. They didn’t want to win that way, and The Bambs pretty much were going to win if that didn’t happen. Solid move. Finally, The Bi-Polar Express showed up in a big way this weekend, avenging their 18-0 loss to the Chaps with a 50-0 win of their own a week later. However, girl shortages in the TMA game came into play (That’s the downside to having 3 girls from TMA on your gender team when you have to play them in your division) and they dropped a close one. It’s pretty clear who’s getting the bye in the playoffs, but where everyone else ends up is still in the air.


The Bambs vs pAssless Chaps (+8) – The Bambs have been sliding as of late, but that seems to be more due to a lot of attendance issues more than anything. There’s nothing like a game against the Chaps to cure what ails you though. THE BAMBS BY 10


Practice Squad vs pAssless Chaps (+16) – This might be the highest line I’ve ever given, but right now PS is on a roll and they’d love to keep pace with the Jabronies for the regular season crown. Not trying to hurt the Chaps’ feelings, but they’re in a rebuild right now with Coach Jay, and it’s going to take a little more time to really get it together. Have faith. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 13


The Bambs vs The Bi-Polar Express (+3) – I know, The Bambs just lost two weeks ago to BPX, and they’re on the downswing while BPX is playing some of their best football in team history. However, I still feel The Bambs have been shorthanded, and if the whole team shows up, I think they’ll look more like The Bambs from the first three weeks as compared to the last three weeks. THE BAMBS BY 7


Jabronies vs TMA (+10) – TMA struggled against a team with 5 people. They need to really figure things out, and a game against the Jabronies isn’t the best way to go about that. However, TMA DOES have an outside shot at the bye week still, and beating the Jabronies is necessary for that to happen. JABRONIES BY 7




1.      How will the Ugandan Warriors respond after all of the ugliness that took place last week? Regardless of what happened, the Warriors need to recognize that they have a VERY good shot at the D5 title, and if they keep their focus, they’ll still be a force to be reckoned with.


2.      Will the D2/C2 teams get embarrassed by the D1/C1 teams? My magic 8-Ball says “No.” Watch for close games across the board, with perhaps only a blowout coming in the Marketing Mayors/Money Ball game. Like I said, at least TWO D2 teams are going to walk away with victories this week.

3.      Did you know about the TSL Universal Sub List? There were too many teams in need of a player this week that just completely ignored the Sub List. It’s literally there to make sure teams don’t play shorthanded! Rameer and Joe K cleaned up the USL this week and added a few more names to it to help out. Check it out.


4.      Who will win the Topper Wheel of Hope Spin? There’s some new rules for the wheel, which are as follows: We will no longer “spin until there’s a winner”. We will spin 5 times, and if there’s no winner, the money transfers over to the next week. There wasn’t a winner last Saturday, so this week’s bar tab is up to $100. There’s also some REALLY cool prizes coming to a Wheel of Hope near you.


5.      Who’s going to the East Aurora Music Festival? One thing I’ve been told is how much the league has been hanging out together after games, but not at the Rose Garden. People have gone out on Elmwood, to Hertel, to parties, etc. Its been pretty cool to hear. This week’s adventure has a lot of the TSL going to East Aurora for a fun time. If you go, let me know how it was!





1.      I think the word is out that if you’re going to do anything stupid in terms of abusing the officials, you’re going to get in trouble. I’ll repeat this: They don’t HAVE to do this job. They do it because they love you/this league. Be civil.


2.      I have to give the shout out to Peanut Butter Kelly Time for winning their first game of the Breakfast Club season! Congrats! Predictions this week: Natural Born Kellers 27 - EmC HammerTime 26, Hot TaMolly’s 37 – Bern Them All 31, Schilling ‘Em Softly 34 – Peanut Butter Kelly Time 22.


3.      Congratulations are in order for the Brunettes! They had a huge 68-24(ish) win against the Blondes in the 10th annual Rivalz game to raise money for Alzheimer’s awareness. Just please, next year, schedule the game for ANY time that isn’t during Co-Ed football games. We’d all love to be there, I’m sure. And you’d raise more money with a cool game under the lights or something. Just a suggestion.



4.      What the hell Joey Batts? Topper goes out of his way to give your daughter a signed pair of championship cleats (something she’ll never get from her father, whoever he is) and you throw them back in his face? Come on man.


5.      I’m giving extreme credit to the QB Power Rankings article writers. (There’s more than one, believe it or not.) Those charts and graphs on how teams are doing are AMAZING work. Here’s some cool things I’d have never guessed:


a.      The Bi-Polar Express leads D6 in defense.

b.      End Game is MUCH further ahead of D4 then I once thought.

c.       Matty’s Angels is 8th in D5 defense. I knew they weren’t great, but wow.

d.      Slytherin That End Zone is the best team in D3. Go look.

e.      A&A has the lowest ranked offense, yet the top ranked defense in D2.

f.        Marketing Mayors is secretly the second best team in D1. This week’s game is going rock.


6.      Here’s the best games to watch this week:

10:00 – Field 4 – Cunning Stunts vs Matty’s Angels

11:00 – Field 2 - 1 Todd Too Many vs Energy Buff

12:00 – Field 1 – Marketing Mayors vs Eyes Downtown (Game of the Week)

1:00 – Field 2 – 3rd and Schlong vs Sticky Bandits

2:00 – Field 2 – Peachy Platoon vs Frodo Swaggins

3:00 – Field 2 – End Game vs Indecent Exposure


               Just camp out at Field 2 it seems.


7.      Some people aren’t too thrilled with my betting lines and odds. Perhaps the QB Power Rankings people can use their fancy maths to come up with the lines for the games somehow? If that’s possible, I’d love to use someone else’s lines. What do you say?


8.      Sign up for the Telegram app, and get chatting with your league mates. Like us on Facebook. Word is we may even be getting our Twitter rocking soon. And rumors of the Joe K TSL Podcast are growing stronger.


9.      Keep your calendars clear August 3rd! That’s the tentative date for hottest summer tournament: The TSL Wine Tournament! It’s one of the most fun days of the year for everyone, and all you have to do is play football and drink wine. Space is limited so when registration opens, have your team ready!



10.   The Lenny Alba Appreciation Day is June 15th! Rameer has asked that I spread the word that on the Friday Night before, June 14th, we’d like to get as many TSLers as we can to the Vue Rooftop Lounge for a night of fun, and we’ll have a big toast to our pal Lenny. His birthday was June 4th, and we miss him every single day.



Here we are, 5535 words later. I love this league. Wear Sunscreen. Be nice to refs, and each other. But seriously, go out and have some FUN this Saturday. My googling says you guys will have 75 degrees and a GORGEOUS day to play in. Perhaps I’ll fly in to Buffalo for the championship day to see you guys. Maybe not.


And yes, the ribs were delicious.

Week 6 Mid Season Review, Picks, thoughts, and stuff

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Thursday, 30 May 2019 13:10
Published: Thursday, 30 May 2019 13:10
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 2689


So, let me get this straight.


Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers have been BEGGING for more publicity. They wanted to know why Rameer wasn’t talking about them enough on the rant. Why wasn’t The Godfather giving them enough props? Why isn’t their QB in the Top 10 of the Rankings? They even went so far as to post on the Topper Sports Facebook page to ASK for more people to talk about them!


Ask, and you shall receive. But, be careful what you wish for.


Uncle Rico’s went out with the full intentions of proving themselves to be the run away contenders for D4(R2). They were sitting at 5-1, with a doubleheader last week against a completely lost Puckett All-Stars and a struggling No Punt Intended. They beat Puckett 39-20. They were up against No Punt Intended by a score, with the ball, with only 1:50 left on the clock. And then they got cocky. And they got what they deserved. Instead of casually running out the clock and winning the game, they tried to go for more points. Kyle Conniff picked off a pass on first down to give NPI the ball near the goal line. NPI ran down the clock, scored with no time left to win the game, and smacked Uncle Rico’s in the mouth. It was easily the most embarrassing loss a team has had in the TSL this season. I had my sources watch Uncle Rico’s so they could report back to me with who they had on their squad. I found out that they had Deak and Chris Nelson (a future star in this league that’s on every D1 team’s poach list, word is he’s already much better than his dad ever was) and that’s a big reason they’ve been so good. But now they’ve shown the entire division that perhaps they’ve been a bit overrated and that MAYBE there was a reason that they’re the only ones that really wanted to talk about their own team. Maybe.


I hope everyone had a fantastic Memorial Day weekend. While we were all busy remembering those who gave the Ultimate Sacrifice, I want everyone to remember that it was also the time for us to bury the “Uncle Rico’s is unbeatable so talk about us more” nonsense.


With that said, welcome back to another amazing week of our own little reality show we call the Spring 2019 season. Somehow, there’s only three weeks of regular season football to go before the playoffs, and the divisions are working themselves out to show us who has a realistic shot of achieving social co-ed football immortality, and those who need a few tweaks. So instead of just previewing games, lets take a look at who actually has a chance at their respective division titles and who, well, doesn’t.





Public Enemy (6-0)



Eyes Downtown (3-1) , Marketing Mayors (3-2), Tight Ends In Motion (2-3)



#XTC@Angry Buffalo (1-5), 1 Todd Too Many (1-5)


Last Week’s Results:

Public Enemy 40, #XTC@AB 37

Eyes Downtown 56, 1 Todd Too Many 32

Public Enemy 29, Tight Ends In Motion 28


PE is on a 16 game winning streak, essentially becoming the TSL’s version of The Undertaker. Quite frankly, until they’re defeated, I’m not going to put them in a tier with anyone else. Of course, last week gave us some VERY close calls, as they only won by 3 points and 1 point respectively. And who comes to town this week? Eyes Downtown, who got their inspirational leader back. Bobby McConnell FINALLY graced the TSL with his aura this season, and it was poor Topper who had to be on the back end of a 56-32 loss. ED takes on PE in a rematch of “THE GAME” and while we all know that “ITS ON”, I don’t want to hype it up too much since last time I did that, things weren’t great. Tight Ends just missed out on breaking PE’s streak last week, but they still have to walk away happy knowing that they’ve been on the right track since Ricky Austin started throwing for them. The team just seems to have a bounce in their step around the fields now, and they’re finding their groove. Marketing Mayors didn’t play this week, but that doesn’t mean people should forget just how dangerous they really can be when all cylinders are firing. #XTC gets better each week as Nick Sooch gets more comfortable. I’m not ready to move them up in a ranking tier just yet, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t by season’s end. A 3 point loss to PE is something to be proud of. 1 Todd Too Many has had rough go of it since their opening season win. A couple of missed opportunities have caused them a few games, but some roster consistency would be a great first start towards figuring it all out. One thing’s for sure: They’re not going to give up, so don’t even THINK to consider them an “easy out”.


This Week’s Games:

Marketing Mayors vs Tight Ends In Motion (+7) – I think that the TEIM crew is really starting to click at the right time, and catching the Mayors after a week off might be perfect timing here. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 3

Public Enemy vs. Eyes Downtown (EVEN) – Public Enemy has really been squeaking by as of late, and they look complacent. Bobby wants nothing more to the Brock Lesnar to this streak. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 6

#XTC@Angry Buffalo vs 1 Todd Too Many – XTC is on the rise, and Team Topper is still trying to work out the kinks.  #XTC@ANGRY BUFFALO BY 4







Last Week’s Games:

Gryffindor 43, Bullet Club 36

Bullet Club 38, A&A 22

Energy Buff 34, Title Shot 31


Seriously, everyone is a contender here. Bullet Club currently leads the standings at 3-2. They had some awful halves last week, as they were behind Gryffindor 37-14 at halftime, and were behind A&A 22-0 at the half as well. They nearly came back against Gryffindor, and they shutout A&A 38-0 in the second half. And that’s just about the perfect way to explain their season so far. Title Shot is also 3-2, after a 3 point loss against Energy Buff. Dubey needs to show up more often (tell me if you’ve heard that before), and a very exciting rematch against BC is on the docket for this week. A&A? Also 3-2. Matty was struggling to get the girls to show up yet again this week, and that’s been too much of a consistent problem. Energy Buff checks in at 2-2, but they’re trending upwards as it seems that they’re starting to get it together. Maybe my early predictions that they’d win the division weren’t the worst ever. Gryffindor is 2-3, and I don’t even think they know what to expect from their team every week. Their game this week showed the good (a 37-14 first half) and the bad (a 22-6 second half). Perhaps they need to not get comfortable with a lead? Finally, Money Ball brings up the rear at 1-3, but they’re going to have a lot of games to play catch up in the next few weeks.


This Week’s Games:

Bullet Club vs Title Shot (+3) – Bullet Club won the first matchup, but will Dubey show up this week for Title Shot? Who will show up for Bullet Club? Expect another close game. BULLET CLUB BY 3, TITLE SHOT BY 3 IF DUBEY SHOWS UP.


Gryffindor vs Money Ball (+3) – Two teams that are fighting to stay out of the bottom of the standings. If Money Ball can keep it close in the first half, history suggests they can pull away in the second. MONEY BALL BY 7


A&A vs Energy Buff (EVEN, TWO GAMES) – This is an interesting scenario! These two teams play each other twice in a row at 1:00 and 2:00. That’s just how things worked out (the games this week were decided by ladder matches, so 3rd place plays 4th place). If there’s one thing that’s tough, its beating a team once. Doing it twice? I see a split happening. A&A BY 8 THEN ENERGY BUFF BY 1


Title Shot vs Money Ball (+7) – Money Ball will struggle to matchup with Title Shot’s girls. I’m not necessarily certain Title Shot needs Dubey for this one. TITLE SHOT BY 6





All We Do Is Quinn (5-0-1), Frodo Swaggins (3-2-1), 3rd and Schlong (3-2), Peachy Platoon (3-2)



Slytherin That End Zone (3-2), Sticky Bandits (2-2)



Morning Wood (2-4), Ultimate Warriors (0-7)


Last Week’s Games:

Frodo Swaggins 31, Peachy Platoon 25

Frodo Swaggins 32, Ultimate Warriors 26

Peachy Platoon 30, Morning Wood 22

All We Do Is Quinn 28, Morning Wood 6


It’s becoming increasingly clear that Frodo Swaggins is officially a team to be reckoned with for D3/R1. Garrett Beesing and friends find themselves in second place in the division, thanks to an impressive win over Peachy Platoon. AWDIQ is still on top at 5-0-1, and they’re still the class of the division, but a looming matchup with Peachy awaits them this week. Peachy went 1-1 last week, keeping themselves in the thick of the race. 3rd and Schlong was off this past week, but they too have a big game against the Platoon this week. We’re really going to see who’s taking control of the division this week. SITE and Sticky find themselves just outside of contender status. Don’t get me wrong, both teams are good, but they’re missing that extra signature win to really give them a higher tier. Ironically, these two teams meet at 3:00, and both need the win. SITE gets a shot at Frodo Swaggins this week as well, and a victory there could be exactly what they’re going to need. Morning Wood isn’t a bad team, and they’re getting better each week. Heather and Jill show improvement every time they hit the field, which is a big plus for any team. But right now they feel more like a team still putting it together than one who can truly contend. The Ultimate Warriors might be the best 0-7 team in league history. They keep losing games by about one score, and honestly could be ripe for an upset of whoever they play in the playoffs. A couple of bounces go their way this season and they could be 3-4.


This Week’s Games:


All We Do Is Quinn vs Peachy Platoon (+6) – Quinn hasn’t lost yet, and a lot of that has to do with their athleticism. In Peachy, they find a team that can match them on that front. This has HIGH Game of the Week potential. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 2


Peachy Platoon vs 3rd and Schlong (EVEN) – 3rd and Schlong is setting out to remind us that they’re the team we should all be talking about in the division. Catching Peachy on the second half of a double header may prove to be great timing. 3rd AND SCHLONG BY 3


Frodo Swaggins vs Slytherin That End Zone (+7) – SITE needs a marquee win, Frodo has been cruising since getting Emily Schilling at the deadline. Give me the hot team. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 10


Sticky Bandits vs Morning Wood (+3) – If Sticky is going to make their climb up the standings, they need to win this game. STICKY BANDITS BY 7


Sticky Bandits vs Slytherin That End Zone (EVEN) – Two teams with a lot to prove this week. Both need this win over the other. A bit of a playoff atmosphere at 3:00. STICKY BANDITS BY 1






Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (6-2), End Game (5-1), Hung Buffalo (4-2)




No Punt Intended (4-3), GLBS (4-3), Buffalo Solar Solutions (3-3), Indecent Exposure (3-3)




Puckett All-Stars (1-5), Full Throttle (1-5)




Cobblestone (0-5)


Last Week’s Games:


End Game 43, Buffalo Solar Solutions 22

Indecent Exposure 53, Full Throttle 12

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers 39, Puckett All-Stars 20

No Punt Intended 50, Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers 43

GLBS 26, Hung Buffalo 8

No Punt Intended 33, GLBS 13



Joking aside, Uncle Rico’s looks to be on a collision course with End Game for the championship game. They were a brain fart away from being 7-1, but if anything, they learned from last week’s debacle and they’ll be a smarter team going forward. End Game hasn’t lost a step or looked weak all season, and their win against Buffalo Solar cemented the fact that the road to the D4/R2 title goes through them. Hung Buffalo lost against GLBS, sure, but I’m not entirely confident they had their whole team there because of the holiday, so I won’t drop them from “contender” status so quickly. After that, it gets a little murky. No Punt Intended went out and heeded my words. I told them they needed to “prove it” and a pair of wins against Uncle Rico’s and GLBS is a great start, but it doesn’t fully prove it to me. NPI didn’t beat Uncle Rico’s as much as Uncle Rico’s beat themselves, and in the game against GLBS, the Great Lakes QB hurt his knee so Glenn Bird had to step in. Still need a bit more proof they’re for real, but this is a start. Just as GLBS gets going, their QB may be injured. Hopefully things weren’t too serious, because they were one of the hottest teams in the TSL. Indecent Exposure hasn’t made a ton of noise recently, but then again, neither does a lion before it pounces on its unsuspecting prey. Watch out for this squad come playoff time. Puckett All-Stars and Full Throttle look to be battling for that final playoff spot, but both teams just aren’t clicking and they may have to consider some philosophy changes on both sides of the ball. Cobblestone has a lot going for them: amazing people, great new girls, sweet jerseys, a surefire hall of fame supermodel quarterback, great attitudes (mostly), but poor results. They’ve only scored 100 points so far, while they’ve allowed 214. Unless they have a miraculous turnaround, it might be better for them to drop to D5/R3 and get their newer players accustomed to the TSL.


This Week’s Games:

No Punt Intended vs Full Throttle (+10) – No Punt Intended appears to have gotten their groove back, but was that just a lot of good luck going their way? Full Throttle appears to be self-destructing, and I’m sure if they can stop the bleeding this season. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 7


Puckett All-Stars vs Cobblestone (+3) – If Cobblestone is going to turn things around, and its not impossible for them to make the playoffs, they need to win this game. Puckett is looking at this game as a must win scenario, and a loss here could stick the final fork into the season. Darryl works his magic. COBBLESTONE BY 2


End Game vs Hung Buffalo (+3) – If you’re doing something at 1:00, stop whatever it is, and go to Field 3. Hung Buffalo and End Game are going to slug it out in what should be one of the day’s best games. End Game is out to prove they’re still the best team in the division, and Hung Buffalo is out to prove them wrong. END GAME BY 3





Matty’s Angels (6-0), Cunning Stunts (6-1)



Ugandan Warriors (4-1), Pink Pteratacos (4-1)



Come From Behind (3-3), vandalay industries (2-3), Hope N Ruin (2-4)



Five Star Generals (1-5)



HomeTech (0-5), Over Compensators (0-5)


Last Week’s Games:

Matty’s Angels 45, Come From Behind 40

Ugandan Warriors 61, Five Star Generals 6

Cunning Stunts 46, Over Compensators 0

Vandalay Industries 22, HomeTech 15

Ugandan Warriors 27, Hope N Ruin 6



Who run the world? Girls. The Angels have been beating teams handily and have seemed destined to run to the title. Of course, they’ve seemed this way before and have blown it in the playoffs, so there’s always a chance history repeats itself. The Stunts are just as good offensively as the Angels, but they’ve been playing better defense. I can’t wait for these two teams to collide. Not to be outdone, the Ugandan Warriors have been ON FIRE, dunking on teams. They won their double header with an 88-12 combined score. Blasé has his team looking sharp, and this week’s battle with the Angels is a big one. The Pink Pteratacos have been good as well this season, and their biggest hurdle is themselves. If they can keep a cooler head, and stay focused, they pose a threat to the title as well. Come From Behind, vandalay, and Hope N Ruin are all very similar in that they’re smart, veteran teams that you just can’t sleep on. Any of these teams can beat you if you let them hang around for too long. The Five Star Generals are having an awful go in D5, but they’ve shown some flashes of improvement here and there. And I realize I’m saying that after they lost by 55 points. While I love HomeTech and the Over Compensators, both of these teams feel like they’d be better served “figuring it out” in D6/R4. That’s not meant to be a slight, for the record.


This Week’s Games:


Matty’s Angels vs Ugandan Warriors (+8) – The Angels vs Ace rivalry was one of the league’s fiercest for a second there in the TSL. Ugandan is essentially the Super Shredder version of Ace, and both teams want nothing more than to beat the other here. There’s more at stake here than just a football game. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 3


Five Star Generals vs Over Compensators (+3) – Both teams are feeling pretty low after last week. There’s no doubt in my mind both team’s group chats are saying the same things. “This is our week!”, “We have to win this game!”, “What field are we on again?”, etc. FIVE STAR GENERALS BY 10


Hope N Ruin vs HomeTech (+7) – Hope N Ruin is gearing up for another “Hey we didn’t see that happening!” playoff run. HomeTech is just hoping to score more than 1 point. HOPE N RUIN BY 7


Vandalay Industries vs Over Compensators (+7) – For what it’s worth, if the OC was going to go 2-0 in a week, this could be it. Team Topper Lite has struggled a bit at times and they tend to play to their competition more often than not. I just don’t see anything from the OC that says they can do it. VANDALAY INDUSTRIES BY 9


Pink Pteratacos vs Come From Behind (+3) – I just told everyone not to sleep on Come From Behind. For as intense as Mark can be, I think he knows that too, and he’s telling his team the same stuff. I think this will be a lowkey fun game to watch, and people should be talking about it at the bar afterwards. If the Pteratacos are for real, they need this one. PINK PTERATACOS BY 1






Jabronies (4-0), Practice Squad (4-0)



The Bambs (2-3), TMA (2-3)



pAssless Chaps (1-4), The Bi-Polar Express (1-4)


Last Week’s Games:

Practice Squad 34, TMA 6

Jabronies 41, The Bambs 27

pAssless Chaps 18, The Bi-Polar Express 0

The Bi-Polar Express 18, The Bambs 0



This division is shaping up to be a Jabronies – Practice Squad final. They’ve separated themselves from the pack, and have proven to be the top two teams in the division for sure. And on top of it all, we get a bonafide slobberknocker doubleheader this week! The race for D6/R4 supremacy is ON, and its going to be on Field 4 at Noon and again at 2:00. The Bambs and TMA are too inconsistent to be able to be placed in the same tier as the contenders. Once they find their groove though, they can absolutely compete. pAssless Chaps finally played a good game for its entirety and they were rewarded with their first victory of the season. The Bi-Polar Express proved their name, losing 18-0 before winning 18-0. The girls are improving though (Remember the name Sarah Palazza), and as long as Gordon’s foot doesn’t fall off (word is that he made a request with the league to have Tommy Hughes play for him if it does) they can continue to be a tough out for any team in the division.


This Week’s Games:

Jabronies vs Practice Squad (EVEN, DOUBLEHEADER) – The scheduling gods were kind to us for this week. I think we’ll see two amazing games, but in the end, I think we’ll see one team go to 6-0. JABRONIES BY 3 AND JABRONIES BY 7


The Bambs vs TMA (+3) – The Bambs aren’t thrilled with last week’s 0-2 record, though word is they were incredibly shorthanded. TMA’s roller coaster of an existence took a downturn last week, but historically that means it’ll be on the up and up this time around. TMA BY 6


pAssless Chaps vs The Bi-Polar Express (+8) – These two teams JUST played each other. BPX didn’t look too great last time, but that should make them hungry for this one. Can the chaps put together two solid efforts in a row? PASSLESS CHAPS BY 1


TMA vs The Bi-Polar Express (+8) – TMA had a fantastic defensive plan for BPE last time these two met and rolled to a victory. This one should be closer but expect TMA to pull it out. TMA BY 7





1.      Will Dubey show up? Title Shot is clearly a better team with him than without him.

2.      Are people staying at the bar anymore? Reports have said it’s a ghost town around 6:00, unless we’re getting kicked out for a “private party”, then it’s earlier.

3.      Will Public Enemy finally lose? The return of Bobby McConnell combined with how off PE has seemed lately is making me think yes.

4.      Why is YOUR team the next team I should be talking about? Email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and tell me why.

5.      Will we ever have DJ’s at the fields again? It’d be nice to have them rocking some tunes for everyone instead of other people’s speakers blaring Pandora radio commercials.




1.      The path for a day of excellent games is as follows: 10:00 – Stand between Field 2 and 3 for All We Do Is Quinn vs Peachy Platoon and Matty’s Angels vs Ugandan Warriors. 11:00 – Field 2 for Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown. 12:00 – Field 4 for Jabronies vs Practice Squad Part 1. 1:00 – Field 3 for Hung Buffalo vs End Game. 2:00 – Field 2 for Energy Buff vs A&A Part 2. 3:00 – Field 1 for Sticky Bandits vs Slytherin That End Zone

2.      Breakfast Club predictions: Emc Hammertime 27 – Peanut Butter Kelly Time 20, Schilling Em Softly 38 – Bern Them All 35, Hot TaMolly’s 28 – Natural Born Kellers 24.

3.      Dave Wilbern not wearing a shirt is just not fair to the rest of the league.

4.      Sadly, we have to postpone our spring party, which was being known as “Lenny Day” until June 15th. The Singing barbershop quartet couldn’t commit to this weekend.

5.      As games get more intense with playoffs approaching, its time for my friendly reminder for everyone to REMEMBER THIS IS JUST A GAME AND TO NOT BE JERKS TO EACH OTHER.

6.      My Game of the Week is going to be All We Do Is Quinn vs Peachy Platoon. I can’t wait to see the results from that one.

7.      I must say, it’s a lot of fun to finally be on the other side of the “Who writes the article??” mystery when it comes to The Sentinel and the QB Rankings. I think I know who they are. No, I’m not telling.

8.      It was awesome to hear that the Neff family came around this past week. They’re awesome people, and league royalty.

9.      I miss the days people could bring dogs to the fields. Perhaps we can get a gated portion and make a TSL dog park? That’d be something.

10.   I’ll say it again, PLEASE don’t bring your own alcohol to the fields. It’s such a bad look for our entire league when people do it. Be respectful.


The league is entering the homestretch and it looks like its going to be a riot. Good luck to everyone and be safe out there. And wear sunscreen.

Week 4 Picks, thoughts, Insights and Predictions

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 17 May 2019 13:25
Published: Friday, 17 May 2019 13:25
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 2727


Welcome once again to the wonderful calamity that is the TSL! A great man once said, “Once you think you know the answers, I start changing the questions.”, and that’s EXACTLY what this Spring 2019 season has been all about! Teams we thought might be great look to be not so great. Teams that we thought were going to be considered for relegation are championship contenders! Left is Right, Up is Down, and its only Week 4! Needless to say, Week 3 brought us a whole bunch of winners and losers. I’ve gotten multiple reports from the fields this week on who’s been doing what. It’s nice to have a clearer picture of what went on for once, so thank you to those that take a few seconds to send me emails about your team and your players. Like one email said “I’d rather you have what happened in our game come from me than from someone else’s mouth.”


This is why we love football so much. Everything can change from week to week. Teams that looked like they were in trouble have a big week and they’re back in the thick of things (TMA went from 0-2 to 2-2 real quick) and teams that once looked like forces in their divisions now have more questions. (After nice starts, 1 Todd Too Many, Slytherin in That Endzone, Hope and Ruin, and Gryffindor all find themselves sliding down the standings. Just kidding. Gryffindor never had a hot start in the first place.) So, what does it all mean? What can we determine from all of the data we’ve received so far?


Absolutely nothing. Because after Week 4, it’s all going to get shaken up once again. If you’re playing well, you can’t be overconfident because a bad week can cause it to start to slip away. If you’re playing poorly, you could be THIS close to putting all together and going on a run. Not a single team in the TSL has anything guaranteed yet. Except of course, for Matty’s Angels, who are guaranteed to be moving up a division or four this offseason. The point is, its Week 4, don’t get comfortable, and most importantly don’t give up hope. Everything changes in an instant.


On to the games…




Public Enemy vs Marketing Mayors (+6) – Word around the campfire is that PE is actually more concerned with this game than they were with Eyes Downtown last week. While PE dispatched of ED 28-14 last week, they did so without a decent chunk of their players. Those 1:00 starts really mess with the team’s availability it seems. They put their “Undertaker at Wrestlemania-like” winning streak on the line against the Mayors, who took 1 Todd Too Many to the woodshed with a 54-18 victory. Cory Turner, Andy Smith and the rest of the team look primed for this Game of the Week matchup in D1. It’ll be a hell of a game, but until the streak is broken, I can’t go against the champs. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 1


1 Todd Too Many vs #XTC@Angry Buffalo (EVEN) – After Team Topper’s big win to start the season, things have gotten progressively worse for them. Their 54-18 loss to the Mayors is going to either be the inspirational turning point where they figured things out, or it’ll be the spiral that sends them out of control. On the plus side, they debuted some very nice new Lenny jerseys themselves (I hear they chose gray instead of copying another team in red). But Team Topper is a smart, resilient bunch and I think they’ll find their way sooner than later. #XTC@AB, however, is still having a rough go of things. They lost to Tight Ends in Motion 39-23 this week, and really need a good showing here against the reeling Team Topper. 0-5 isn’t a place they want to be, nor is it a place that they deserve to be. This game looks like it’ll be another close one for D1. 1 TODD TOO MANY BY 1


Tight Ends In Motion vs 1 Todd Too Many (+7) – One of our first repeat matchups of the season! Team Topper beat TEIM 7-6 in the season opener. Of course, that was in the cold and snow we had in Week 1, and now TEIM is thawed out. Worst of all? They’re looking for a bit of revenge. One of the hardest things to do in football is beat the same team twice, and I don’t think we’ll see it here. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 8


Eyes Downtown vs Tight Ends In Motion (+7) – Eyes Downtown may have lost 28-14 to Public Enemy last week, but they gained a lot of respect in the eyes of TSL fans. ED showed up to “The Game” wearing all black instead of their usual red jerseys to allow PE to wear the “Lenny Red” jerseys for the game without a problem. That’s a very nice gesture, and one that many remarked may not have happened if Bobby McConnell were around. TEIM was without Alex at QB this time around and they finally got to see what they could do with Seth Molinsari at QB instead. The end results was a 39-23 victory where TEIM looked better than they have in a while. Many people on the roster were big fans of Seth. This week, Ricky Austin gets his two game tryout with the team. Alex has to be feeling the pressure at this point. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 6




Bullet Club vs Money Ball (+7) – Bullet Club still had no sign of QB Jeff Easton, but it didn’t seem to matter. Travis was throwing well yet again, and BC walked away with an impressive 32-19 over Title Shot. To be fair, Title Shot was missing Dubey, so that played a factor. BC gets even more reinforcements this week when Paul Nieman finally gets to make his debut. Money Ball didn’t get to play football last week due to Energy Buff calling in sick, so there’s not much new to report. For a team that’s only played two games together so far, an extra week off when you’re trying to gel together isn’t always a good thing.  BULLET CLUB BY 7


Gryffindor vs Money Ball (EVEN) – Gryffindor looks rough. It looks like fatherhood has taken the life out of Joey Batts and his football skills are eroding. This once moderately decent QB is looking like he’s about to have his worst season ever. A 22-0 loss to A&A last week is only starting the talk that eventually a few Gryffindor’s stars may start negotiating with new teams for next season. Money Ball looks to be catching them at the right time here for sure, but will a game the hour before against Bullet Club wear them down too much? At this rate, probably not. MONEY BALL BY 4


Energy Buff vs Gryffindor (EVEN) – A small slate of games for D2 this week. Energy Buff called off last week due to concerns about being able to field a team. This season isn’t going the way they want it to at all yet, but as the theme of this article has been, one good week can change the season right now. The loser of this matchup could very well find themselves at the bottom of the standings when its all over. It should also be noted that a part of Energy Buff is from Joey Batts’ old Cintas squad, and I’m SURE they’d love to silence him. But it won’t be this time. GRYFFINDOR BY 6




All We Do Is Quinn vs Ultimate Warriors (+15) – The 3-0-1 AWDIQ taking on the 0-4 Warriors. This game has blowout written all over it. The Warriors have been battling hard but this week they lost to Peachy Platoon 55-37. While scoring doesn’t seem to be a HUGE problem for them, defense in general seems to be the issue as they’ve allowed 159 points in 4 games. AWDIQ is NOT the answer when you have defense questions. The season’s biggest surprise, and D3’s only team yet to lose come into town after a 27-26 victory over Sticky Bandits, and they’re looking good. They won, mind you, with their third string QB this week since Vince and Joe Schwab were away on various other missions. Not sure they can be stopped yet. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 13


3rd and Schlong vs Ultimate Warriors (+10) – Things don’t get much better today for the Warriors as they’re blessed to play 3AS after dealing with Quinn earlier in the day. 3AS has been playing VERY well after Week 1’s hiccup, and they look like the title contender we thought they were in the first place. A big matchup with SITE last week showed us who the pretender was, and it wasn’t 3AS as they won 40-28. While the Warriors will fight hard for the upset, 3AS isn’t forgetting that playoff loss to them last Spring. 3rd AND SCHLONG BY 10


Slytherin That End Zone vs Morning Wood (+3) – The two teams in the middle of the D3 pack that could really use a big win over the other meet in this game, that should be a doozy. Morning Wood is fresh off a 44-40 victory over the upstart Frodo Swaggins, and they’re looking to continue to climb the standings. Mo Saleh gets a lot of negative press, but perhaps he fixed the problems MW was showing already. SITE has cooled off after their hot start, and their 40-28 loss to 3rd And Schlong helps show that. Newman claimed at the beginning of the season that he was back, well, this is the time to prove it. SLYTHERIN THAT END ZONE BY 6


3rd And Schlong vs Frodo Swaggins (+6) – Frodo lost to Morning Wood 44-40 last week. However, they were without Team Captain Garrett Beesing who, while on the downside of his career, is still a difference maker. Frodo is still finding their way in the TSL, but they show a lot of promise. They’re 0-2-1, but could easily be 2-1 if a few bounces go their way. On top of it, rumor has it that Frodo made a pretty big acquisition at the roster deadline last week, and that could be a game changer.  3rd and Schlong represents one of the divisions measuring sticks, so it’ll be fun to see how these two teams stack up. Will 3rd And Schlong sleep on them? Probably not. 3rd AND SCHLONG BY 3




Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers vs Cobblestone (+8) – Darryl Carr QB Superstar graced us with his presence this week and it was GLORIOUS! Cobblestone played hard, Darryl was slinging it, he found random new girls (this seasons’ entrant into the “Where did Darryl find her?” potential star sweepstakes: Sierra.), and yet Cobblestone found themselves on the receiving end of a 53-20 loss to Indecent Exposure, followed by a 42-30 loss to No Punt Intended. Uncle Rico’s, however, made their claim to the D4 throne official when they upended End Game 31-27 in a big win for Jon Senn’s crew. Uncle Rico’s better make sure that they’re not more concerned with the big game against Buffalo Solar Solutions an hour later. I don’t think they will. UNCLE RICO’S TIME TRAVELERS BY 10


Hung Buffalo vs Full Throttle (+7) – Full Throttle came to play against Buffalo Solar Solutions last week, but wound up on the losing end of a 38-28 score. Their 1-2 record may be misleading as they’re playing teams pretty tough so far this season. Hung Buffalo got back to business this week, smacking around No Punt Intended 51-27. Hung Buffalo has been able to put up points so far this session, and that’s where Full Throttle has suffered. Look for a bit of a defensive battle before the veteran smarts of HB get them to another victory. HUNG BUFFALO BY 7


Indecent Exposure vs GLBS (+3) – Indecent Exposure sits at 2-2 after a 53-20 spanking of Cobblestone. While IE can score (Their 35.5 points per game can confirm this), they also struggle to stop most teams. GLBS is the complete opposite here. They’ve only allowed 58 points in three games this season, BUT they’ve only scored 50, despite the best efforts of WR Jay Elphick, so I’ve been told. GLBS is still a newer team trying to figure it out on offense, but once they do, D4 might want to watch out. I’ll take the team that can score over the team that can’t though. INDECENT EXPOSURE BY 6


Buffalo Solar Solutions vs Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (+3) – The D4 Game of the Week right here. BSS has been great this season, and that continued with this week’s 38-28 win over a spry Full Throttle squad. We already talked about how Uncle Rico’s is getting dialed in this season, and they’ll be looking to make this a game. First place is on the line here, but when you break it down you’ll see that BSS has played one less game, and scored more points. They’ve also allowed less. Look for a close one here as well. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 8


Hung Buffalo vs Cobblestone (+7) – There’s not much more to say about these teams that I haven’t already said. Cobblestone is in desperate need of a win this week, so I expect them to go all out for this one. The problem is that Hung Buffalo has more talent, and they’ve been doing this for a long, long time. HUNG BUFFALO BY 10


Buffalo Solar Solutions vs GLBS (+7) – This is going to be a game of “who’s less tired from the game before” as well. While I’m a huge fan of GLBS, they still haven’t clicked on offense. Same rules apply as before, give me the team that can score over the one who can’t. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 12


End Game vs Full Throttle (+7) – What a week for End Game. First, they lose their first game of the season to Uncle Rico’s 31-27. Then they go against Puckett All-Stars, who haven’t been great at all this season, and almost blow that game too before winning 41-37. The real questions come from what’s going on inside the locker room, as Emily Schilling as left the team to go play with Frodo Swaggins. While End Game should be okay with Steph Czaja and that blonde girl everyone talks about but nobody knows who the hell she is, it’s very disheartening for a team to lose arguably their best girl (regardless of her suspect hands) at the roster deadline for the season. Upset of the Week, as Full Throttle catches End Game at the right time. FULL THROTTLE BY 1




Ugandan Warriors vs Over Compensators (+6) – The Over Compensators continued their streak of ALMOST beating teams, this week losing to Come From Behind 34-27. The team shows improvement every week, but they just haven’t been able to get over the hump. This week, they play a Ugandan Warriors team led by QB Blasé LaDuca. These Warriors were able to ride Blasé’s big Make Up Bet win to their first victory, a 28-26 win over HomeTech. This game should be back and forth, but I like the OC to get their first win of the season. OVER COMPENSATORS BY 6


Cunning Stunts vs Five Star Generals (+3) – Five Star is out to prove they belong in D5, and while they lost to the Pteratacos 38-34, they easily could’ve taken this game. The Stunts are reeling as they’ve lost their first game this year to the Topper-led Vandalay Industries 40-34. With Joey Batts showing signs of aging and losing his talents, one has to worry if the Stunts are considering a change at QB. They’ll stick with Joey for now, but word is he’s on the hot seat. CUNNING STUNTS BY 3


Cunning Stunts vs HomeTech (+10) – HomeTech and QB Austin Weber played their hearts out against the Ugandan Warriors but came up short 28-26. They sit at 0-3 for the season, but they’re showing they can play with some of the lower half of D5. The Stunts might be in disarray after last week, but they’re still going to be fine for this game. CUNNING STUNTS BY 10


Come From Behind vs Five Star Generals (+6) – This is just a matchup of veteran prowess vs a younger team. Five Star may have more athletes, but CFB is the smarter team. Paul, Molly, and Leslie lead CFB to a 34-27 win over the Over Compensators by making the right decisions against a newer team. Look for more of the same here. Bend but don’t break. COME FROM BEHIND BY 6


Vandalay Industries vs Hope N Ruin (EVEN) – When we last saw Hope N Ruin, the grounds crew was scraping them off of the field after this week’s 71-26 massacre at the hands of Matty’s Angels. Vandalay, meanwhile, pulled off the minor upset of the Stunts 40-34. Both teams have very similar offenses, so this one is going to come down to defense. I’m not entirely sure what the hell happened to HNR last week, but I’m willing to bet they’ll be much better this week. HOPE AND RUIN BY 4




The Bambs vs pAssless Chaps (+13) – The Bambs finally tasted defeat this season at the hands of Practice Squad, 32-29 in what is looking like the potential D6 final this season. As for pAssless Chaps, well, things weren’t good again. They were on the tracks when the TMA train came through this week, losing 37-9. Coach Jay is doing everything he can to coach the Chaps into being better overall, but so far it seems like his teachings are falling on deaf ears. One bright spot is that Jay and WR Ricky are looking to be on the same page, so that’s progress. But its not “beat The Bambs” progess. THE BAMBS BY 10





1.      Will People remember that you can get sunburned in 45 degree weather? I was told that there were a LOT of red faces, necks, and arms because nobody used sunscreen this week.

2.      What happens when Ricky Austin leads TEIM to two victories this season? Will we see a three headed QB committee?

3.      IS THE WHEEL RETURNING? Topper brought out and updated the Wheel of Hope last week, as a teaser for this week. Who’s going to win?

4.      Can Marketing Mayors stop Public Enemy’s streak? PE seems to think if anyone can, its MM.

5.      What team did I just jinx? It feels like every time I back a team or am down on a team, they’re just proving me wrong the next week.




1.      Will Coach Jay ever win a game? He’s one of the nicest people on this planet, but all three of his teams are a combined 0-11. I’m rooting for him.

2.      Seriously people, show me you’re grown adults. There should NOT be a landfill’s worth of plastic bottles laying around the fields at the end of the day. USE THE TRASH CANS YOU MONSTERS. Make this place better than how you found it.

3.      Shout out to Bennett Kus! Gordon’s son was at the fields rocking all day, giving out high fives, and slugging some drinks with people. He didn’t even get that pissed when Travis Clev spilled a beer on him. Cool kid.

4.      GIVE ME MORE BREAKFAST CLUB BETS! This has been a treat to hear about the last few weeks. Excited to see what’s in store. Bern Them All 52-Peanut Butter Kelly Time 34, Hot TaMolly’s 24-EmC HammerTime 22, Schilling Em Softly 30 – Natural Born Kellers 20.

5.      Once again, big shout outs to The Rant and The Sentinel. You guys are the first “non-Godfather” articles to make it to Week 4 in forever. Keep doing what you’re doing.


7.      My Game of the Week this week is easily Buffalo Solar Solutions vs Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers. I can’t wait to get reports on this one. Looks like it’ll be a good one.

8.      Thank you to everyone that’s been emailing me about their teams, for real. If you’d like to get your team some more publicity, please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

9.      I know Rameer yelled at people already, but PLEASE stop bringing your own alcohol to the fields. I don’t know why we have to keep saying this. Word is we’re working on getting our league some deals. No clue if it actually happens yet.

10.   No Matty Ice this week, as he’s jet setting in Italy, but lets point out his heroics in Breakfast Club this week. Down 24-12 with 6 minutes to go, and the other team has the ball, Matty picked off Gordon on first down. He ended up getting a girl TD to make the score 24-20 with 3 minutes to go. What happens on the first down again? Mo Saleh lets the ball bounce off of his hands and it falls right into Matty’s arms. Matty would lead Schilling Em Softly to the game winning TD with no time left. That’s a good effort.


Be safe out there kids. Have fun.

Week 5, picks, thoughts, insights and stuff..

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Thursday, 23 May 2019 21:45
Published: Thursday, 23 May 2019 21:45
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 2581


I’m not entirely sure how, but we’ve made it to the halfway point of the regular season in the Spring 2019 session of the Topper Sports League! So far, so good. We had a couple of “questionable” weather weeks (remember, it snowed Week 1), but for the most part things have been pretty good on and off the field. Lenny would be proud. All of the teams in our league have played between 3-5 games, which means for some teams, they’re going to have to catch up a bit. As the weather gets hotter, its not always a good thing for teams to have doubleheaders later on in the Spring session.


Its Memorial Day weekend here at the TSL, which means two things: 1. Lots of teams won’t be showing up/asked for a bye and 2. The teams that ARE playing most likely will be missing a few players. It happens every single Spring session. And sure enough, those doubleheaders are already coming into play: ELEVEN teams will be playing double headers this week (And there’s only 25 games this time around): Bullet Club, GLBS, Public Enemy, Frodo Swaggins, Peachy Platoon, Morning Wood, Uncle Rico’s, No Punt Intended, The Bi-Polar Express, The Bambs, and Ugandan Warriors all find themselves playing twice this week. It’s a big week that will shake up every division and really separate the contenders from the pretenders.


As much as I love making the predictions, just remember that the lines are based on the teams being at full strength. And really, don’t read so much into it. I love your emails, but please, keep the focus on your players that aren’t getting recognized more than “OMG WTF YOU SAID WE’D LOSE BY 12 AND WE ONLY LOST BY 3 SO HA!” I’ll tell you right now:  Nobody cares.


So, again, keep letting me know who’s a standout on your team and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..


Onto this week:


D1 (But some people want me to really stress that this is C1):


Public Enemy vs #XTC@AB (+10) – Hey! Nick Sooch shows up, slings the rock, and Coach Jay gets his first victory of the season with a 36-30 victory over Team Topper! Public Enemy, meanwhile, kept the streak going as they snuck by Marketing Mayors 40-32. The biggest hope here is that #XTC can keep up the momentum and catch Public Enemy sleeping on a holiday weekend. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 12


Eyes Downtown vs 1 Todd Too Many (+10) – The Team Topper Train was derailed yet again with a close 36-30 loss to #XTC, followed by Tight Ends in Motion getting some revenge in a 39-6 win. This puts our hero at the bottom of the standings. Granted, 1 Todd was without most of their team, so hopefully they can get the band back together this weekend as they face a rested Eyes Downtown team. I don’t know if Bobby is back yet, or if Chadwick will continue to lead ED. If Topper doesn’t have all of his horses, well, this Memorial Day we’ll be remembering him. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 7


Public Enemy vs Tight Ends In Motion (No Line) – I can’t put a line on this game. First off, there’s still a brooding rivalry here between general loud mouth (Non Award Winning) Tommy Hughes and like, all of Tight Ends. Secondly, I don’t know who’s throwing for TEIM, as Ricky Austin lead them to a 39 – 6 win over 1 Todd Too Many in a “I can’t believe Topper beat us Week 1” revenge game. That gives TEIM a three headed QB monster between Alex, Ricky, and Seth. I think Seth gives them the best chance to beat Public Enemy, but who knows if he’s available. Expect some fireworks in this one. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 2.


D2 (Although my lawyers say that I have to acknowledge this is also C2):


Bullet Club vs Gryffindor (+3) – Gryffindor got into the winning mood this weekend after beating Money Ball 43-34 before losing later on to Energy Buff 40-28. Bullet Club ended up losing to the same Money Ball team 34-23, but word is that they “softened them up” for Gryffindor beforehand. Bullet Club has yet again shown that attendance issues are a problem, as they could only trot out Travis, Joe K, Todd, and Paul Nieman to go along with their girls. If they don’t start getting people to the games, a promising season could be ending poorly. These two teams have had some memorable battles over the years, and this weekend looks to be no different. BULLET CLUB BY 4


Bullet Club vs A&A (EVEN) – The Gordon Kus vs Matty Ice saga will write its next chapter as the two biggest non-female ‘frienemies” in the league go head to head. Will Gordon just show up to this game with a red shirt on? Will both do that weird “be overly nice to each other” thing? Who will show up for A&A? I have to assume they’ll have a packed roster for this rivalry game. Matty Ice is fresh off of his Italian vacation, and he’s recharged. This should be a barnburner. Take the over. A&A BY 3.


Title Shot vs Energy Buff (+7) – Title Shot was off last week, so it’s hard to really talk about how well they’re playing. This team of “The Ghosts of TSL Past” are out here scaring the pants off the competition. We last saw them lose a game, but that was without Dubey, who apparently only signs a 5 game per season contract. TS is still on top of the division, which is right where Energy Buff wants them. EB was the preseason favorite to win this division, but fell on some hard times to start the year. They got it together this weekend, beating Gryffindor 40-28. If they’re going to do well in D2 (C2), they had to go out and beat the weakest team in the division. They did just that. Now they have their sights set on the top of the mountain. I’m not sure they’re ready for them just yet. TITLE SHOT BY 8


D3 (However our corporate sponsors consider this R1):


Peachy Platoon vs Frodo Swaggins (+7) – I give you some of the best “Game of the Day” potential here, provided both teams all show up. Peachy has been torching the division since the Week 1 hiccup, and they’re coming off of a bye last week. Frodo Swaggins had the full crew in tow last week: Garrett, Nick, Josh, Tammy, and new signee Emily 2.0. Frodo walked up to 3rd and Schlong last week, and slapped them in the teeth. They walked away with a relatively easy 48-35 victory that left 3AS looking for answers. These two teams both need a big win. If you’re not doing anything at 10:00, walk over to Field 3 and watch this one. PEACHY PLATOON BY 4


Frodo Swaggins vs Ultimate Warriors (+14) – Its just not a good year for the Warriors. They’re already sitting at 0-6, and 0-7 is staring them in the face. They hung tough with Quinn this week, losing 31-25. They’re getting it together late in the season, and that will make them a team you don’t want to play come playoff time. With Frodo focused on Peachy, look out for an upset here. ULTIMATE WARRIORS BY 1.


Peachy Platoon vs Morning Wood (+7) – Morning Wood showed some fight this week in a 27-16 loss to SITE. Word is that they apparently only played with 5 players, and for them not to lose by that much in this type of game is impressive. Mo Saleh and Dave look pretty good in red (we have ANOTHER red team everyone), and that’s a loss you can rally the troops around. They’re going to need everyone to show up with week as the division’s hottest team is coming to play. PEACHY PLATOON BY 10


All We Do Is Quinn vs Morning Wood (+10) – This might be the worst case scenario for ANY team in D3(R1): a double header, with no break in between, against Peachy Platoon and then All We Do Is Quinn. I don’t care how good of an athlete you think you are, you’re going to be DEAD TIRED after running with these squads for two hours. Quinn continued to do Quinn things this week, getting by the Ultimate Warriors 31-25. They tend to play better later in the day anyway. I feel bad for Morning Wood this week. That’s a rough draw. I can’t see them being energized enough to play through two hours of this madness. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 14


D4 (But a court order from the State of Iowa tells me I must acknowledge this is also R2):


Buffalo Solar Solutions vs End Game (Even) – Well, what a difference a week makes. BSS was on fire in their division and were really looking like they were the favorites to win the title. Then they ran into Uncle Rico’s and lost 48-38. Okay, it was a good game and BSS was a little off. But then they ran into GLBS and lost again, 46-25. I don’t know if they were shaken up from the first loss, but if you’re going to contend for this title, you need to win one of those two. End Game is still reeling from losing Emily Schilling, and the fact that it appears they’re not thrilled that the guys on the team don’t get enough publicity on the site. Until someone learns who the hell any male on that team is, they’ll continue to seem like they only stars on the team are the girls. Why? Because they ARE. End Game did win last week, 23-12 against Full Throttle, winning a game they should’ve won. This game is huge for both sides, as both could definitely use the high profile win. Right now, I think End Game is hungier to prove they’re more than just a bunch of talented girls. END GAME BY 8


Indecent Exposure vs Full Throttle (+4) – Full Throttle always feels like they’re on the edge of breaking out in this division, and then before you know it they blow a game they really needed. They had two shots at a signature win, but the 23-12 loss to End Game and the 35-16 loss to Hung Buffalo prove that they have some work to do if they’re to be considered “in the hunt” for the title. Enter Indecent Exposure, a staple of the TSL that had some trouble of their own last week in the form of a 35-12 loss to GLBS. This game is big for both teams, as a loss by either could put them on the outside looking in of the playoff picture. I think both teams have similar defenses, but Indecent Exposure boasts a better offense. Look for Josh and company to pull out a win. INDECENT EXPOSURE BY 7


Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers vs Puckett All-Stars (+14) – Uncle Rico’s is DESPERATE for attention, as though they haven’t already gotten some from me. Well, I definitely have to give them even more attention after last week’s statement win against Buffalo Solar Solutions 48-38. They also went out and did what good teams are supposed to do, and beat Cobblestone 44-24. Uncle Rico’s find themselves at 5-1 in the division, sitting at the top of what is our most competitive division. Granted, they played one more game than Hung Buffalo and End Game, who are right on their heels. Puckett All-Stars don’t feel like the team they used to be (which tells me that chances are they aren’t), and their 1-3 record just feels wrong every time I look at it. They were off last week, so here’s hoping they regrouped and are refocused coming into the season’s second half. Catching a potentially too cocky Uncle Rico’s could do wonders for them. UNCLE RICO’S TIME TRAVELERS BY 14


Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers vs No Punt Intended (+10) – File No Punt Intended in the same “not as good as they once were” folder as some of the other teams in this league. Kyle Coniff hasn’t been able to find the answers for his squad just yet, and right now they just feel lukewarm and “just kind of there” in this league. Uncle Rico’s is seriously staring down 7-1 and if they don’t slip up this week, they know they can win the regular season title. Hopefully we’ll get the NPI of old and have an awesome game. But, they have to prove it before I can believe in them again. UNCLE RICO’S TIME TRAVELERS BY 14


Hung Buffalo vs GLBS (EVEN) – Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, if you’re around the fields at 2:00pm this week, get yourself to Field 2 and watch two of the hottest teams in all of the TSL square off against each other. Hung Buffalo is more than “Just a smart veteran team” as they’re putting up points on everyone. I’m sure it’s because everyone is too scared of Kate to actually cover her. She’s still terrifying. Hung Buffalo slapped around the teams you’d expect a title contender to beat, getting by Full Throttle 35-16 and then Cobblestone 26-14. Hung Buffalo looks to be the most dialed in team in the entire TSL right now. Except for GLBS, that is. GLBS took my words to heart it feels, and showed me, and the league, that OH BOY THEY SURE CAN SCORE. Glenn, Rachel, and Jay (they’re the only ones Ive been told about) are doing work, and they earned every bit of their wins against Buffalo Solar Solutions  (46-25) and Indecent Exposure (35-12). GLBS made a statement that they’re a contender last week, and this game is absolutely a “prove it” game for BOTH teams. HUNG BUFFALO BY 1


GLBS vs No Punt Intended (+8) – I already touched on both of these teams. Its going to come down to if NPI can solve the best defense in the division or not. I can’t believe they will yet. GLBS BY 14


D5 (There are Alien Overlords that DEMAND we refer to this as R3 though too):


Matty’s Angels vs Come From Behind (+14) – A week without the Angels and their record setting scoring pace is just a world I don’t want to live in. However, they’re back, and they take on Come From Behind, who lost to the Five Star Generals 42-31 last week. While the Angels boast some of the league’s most fun girls, they still don’t have Molly and Leslie, so they don’t have the top two. As much as we all love CFB, I just can’t imagine they’ll be able to keep up with the speed of the Angels. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 20


Five Star Generals vs Ugandan Warriors (EVEN) – This matchup should be a good one. Both teams average 30 points per game on offense and while the Generals aren’t as good defensively (according to the ALBA metrics) they have some nice momentum on their side, as evidenced in their 42-31 victory against CFB last weekend. The defense got torched by the Stunts in a 52-30 loss however. So its going to depend on how the defense for Five Star works against Ugandan. The Warriors (who are going to have to change their name because this Ugandan Warriors vs Ultimate Warriors thing is so annoying) beat up on the Over Compensators last week, 33-7. Blasé LaDuca has his squad focused, and they should be considered a threat for the title. I need to see a little bit more from them before I think they can stop Matty’s though. UGANDAN WARRIORS BY 7


Cunning Stunts vs Over Compensators (+15) – The Stunts got back on track last week, notching wins against Five Star (52-30) and HomeTech (26-1). Joey Batts actually looked like a QB, allegedly, and the girls just rolled to some wins as they try to keep pace in the division. The Over Compensators started out with a bit of promise this season, but its been trending mostly downhill for them. A 33-7 loss to Ugandan dropped them to 0-4, and they’re only scoring 18 points a game, which is the worst in the TSL. The defense isn’t bad, but if you can’t score, you can’t keep up with the Stunts. CUNNING STUNTS BY 17


Vandalay Industries vs HomeTech (+11) – I love HomeTech. I always have. I can’t believe Lenny isn’t here, because he may have been the only person to know if HomeTech is the ONLY team to have scored 1 point in a game in TSL history. A 26-1 loss to the Stunts provided that. QB Austin Weber improves weekly, but there’s still a little bit to be done here. Vandalay boasts a roster that would make any Universal Sub List jealous. They’re sitting at 1-3, fresh off a 47-38 loss to Hope N Ruin.  Team Topper Light is full of smart players that know what to do, just sometimes their bodies are unable to actually do it. They’re going to have to win this one if they hope to make any noise this season. HOMETECH BY 3

Ugandan Warriors vs Hope N Ruin (EVEN) – I’m giving the Warriors another game with no line, essentially, because I want them to show me something this week. Hope N Ruin is having an up and down season so far. Currently, they’re on the upswing with a 47-38 win over vandalay. Does that mean they’re due for a downswing this week? I’m going to play the trend here and say yes. Erica needs to get her squad consistent, and fast. UGANDAN WARRIORS BY 2


D6 (However, some indigenous peoples call this R4):


Practice Squad vs TMA (+7) – TMA was off last week, so here’s hoping they’ll be keeping with the positive trend they showed us two weeks ago. (Moonshine helps). Practice Squad, well, they were also off last week. They’re sitting at 3-0, and look to boast a better offense and defense than TMA. But TMA’s numbers are skewed from the first two weeks. Bottom line, this game is a preview for what should be a crazy playoff run in the division. Practice Squad, to me, feels like the more consistent team right now. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 4


The Bambs vs Jabronies (EVEN) – Potential championship preview here! Both of these teams were off last week, as was all of the division actually, and it’ll be interesting to see which of these two teams can keep their momentum going. The Bambs did lose to Practice Squad already, but there’s a good chance they learned from that one. Jabronies haven’t had a tough test yet this season. THE BAMBS BY 5


The Bi-Polar Express vs pAssless Chaps (+7) – I can’t really consider the Chaps a favorite in any game just yet. Reports are they look incredibly disjointed and have some work to do (besides Ricky). Coach Jay is doing his best, but it doesn’t seem like his sage words are being heeded. BPX looks to retool after the bye week and if they’re going to get on the winning track, this is it. THE BI-POLAR EXPRESS BY 8


The Bambs vs The Bi-Polar Express (+8) – The Bambs aren’t quite pAssless Chaps here. Look for Bi-Polar to struggle a bit more here than they would an hour earlier. THE BAMBS BY 10




1.      Will it rain? The forecast hasn’t been looking too kind for everyone in the Buffalo area.

2.      What teams will take control of their divisions? Big weeks are in store for Uncle Rico’s, GLBS, Peachy Platoon, and Bullet Club. Whether it’s a good big week or the bad big week remain to be seen.



5.      Who has the best jerseys in the league? The answer is simple: Cobblestone. They unveiled some amazing Lenny jerseys this week that deserve to be in some art museum.




1.      Can the Ugandan Warriors and the Ultimate Warriors PLEASE play a game where the loser of the contest has to change their name? It’s causing scheduling errors!

2.      Shout out to the refs. While they aren’t perfect, they’re more than willing to admit mistakes and check with other refs/Rameer if they’re incorrect on something.

3.      Lots of good games this week. If you’re going to be at the fields all day, here’s the “Where to be” schedule: 9:00 – Field 2 for Hot TaMolly’s vs Bern Them All, 10:00 – Field 3 for Peachy Platoon vs Frodo Swaggins, 11:00 – Field 2 for Bullet Club vs A&A, 12:00 –  Field 1 for Tight Ends In Motion vs Public Enemy, 1:00 – Field 5 for Jabronies vs The Bambs, 2:00 –Field 2 for Hung Buffalo vs GLBS, 3:00 – Field 2 for Ugandan Warriors vs Hope N Ruin.

4.      Speaking of Breakfast Club: EmC HammerTime 31 - Natural Born Kellers 23, Hot TaMolly’s 24 – Bern Them All 22, Schilling Em Softly 40 – Peanut Better Kelly Time 25.

5.      Don’t think we didn’t notice that 3rd and Schlong barely beat the Ultimate Warriors (40-39) before getting beat up by Frodo Swaggins (48-35). And we know its because 40 year plan guy was missing.

6.      Coach Jay wins! He improves to 1-12 on the season!

7.      Props to teams that are properly using the Universal Sub List. Remember, if you’re short a player, USE IT. There’s some talent there.

8.      I’m most excited to see the result of the Buffalo Solar Solutions vs End Game game. Honestly, if you don’t want to watch Bullet Club and A&A potentially kill each other, you should watch this game at 11:00 on Field 4.

9.      If you have a player that is killing it in this league and nobody is talking about them, EMAIL ME. It’s difficult for me to find new stars when Lenny isn’t here calling me. I’d come to the fields but it’s a long drive from Des Moines people. Help me out.

10.   Speaking of new standout players: Pink Pteratacos has a female (Allegedly named Jamie or Jaime or Jamy) who wears #55 that looks like a future STUD in this league according to multiple reports. Looks like Mark found someone to be a game changer for his squad.


Have fun out there this weekend, and enjoy your holiday. Wear Sunscreen. Only buy alcohol from the bar. Yada yada yada telegram. GODFATHER OUT.

Week 3 thoughts, picks, and predictions

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Thursday, 09 May 2019 12:42
Published: Thursday, 09 May 2019 12:42
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 2638




Stop me if I said this before, but:


ITS ON!!!!!!!!!!


One the TSL’s biggest rivalries of all time takes center stage on Field 1 at 1:00pm as Public Enemy takes on Eyes Downtown. So many interesting questions come into play for this one, as it always does. Can Eyes Downtown break Public Enemy’s winning streak? Will we see Bobby McConnell yet? If we don’t, and Chadwick leads ED to a victory, should Bobby be permanently replaced? Can you imagine we’re very close to world where Bobby McConnell and Ricky Austin are both Free Agents? Why did Public Enemy decide to get themselves a bunch of Eyes Downtown jerseys? Who’s going to wear white instead? SO. MANY. QUESTIONS. Not enough answers. But at 2:18pm (I hear the fields are running behind a lot these days) we’ll know who stands tall. As of now, the betting line stands at Eyes Downtown (+3). This game is too close to call, so I’m just going to predict it now: PUBLIC ENEMY TIES EYES DOWNTOWN.


Anyway, Week two of the great adventure that is the TSL Spring 2019 season brought us some highlight reel plays, some teams having more questions than answers, and while it was apparently warmer out, it rained a bit. But, that’s a step up from the snow you guys had to deal with last week. Fun fact: it’ll be 65 degress and sunny here in Des Moines, while it seems like you’ll be playing in 51 with a smidge of wind. Plus side, doesn’t look like rain for you guys…yet. The season’s picture got a little bit clearer last week for some teams. Others need to go back to the drawing board as soon as last Sunday. All of the up and down play makes calling these games harder than ever for me.


Note: There’s no reason for us to have divisions labeled “C1”, “C2” and “R1-R4”. It’s stupid, and I like D1-D6 better, so while I thank you for your emails “showing me how wrong I’m being about division names”, I don’t care. Some of you need to focus on your play and stop worrying about what I have to say about you. Don’t @ me.


Just kidding. Keep ‘em coming at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .


Onto the games:




Marketing Mayors vs 1 Todd 2 Many (+3) – Never thought I’d see the day where I’d routinely see a Topper-led franchise be in our highest division AND not have double digit point spreads given to them. But here we are. Team Topper gave Public Enemy a run for their money, but ran out of steam near the end, dropping a 41-35 decision. Marketing Mayors had an incredibly fun 35-31 victory over Tight Ends that came down to the wire. Cory Turner’s squad should use that big momentum to get them over the feisty Topper bunch, but it’ll be close. MARKETING MAYORS BY 3


Tight Ends In Motion vs #XTC@Angry Buffalo (+7) - #XTC needs a win here to start to salvage their season. After a 33-14 drubbing by Public Enemy, this group of fan favorites find themselves 0-3 just 2 weeks in. Tight Ends is 0-2 themselves after another close loss to the Mayors 35-31. The team won’t say it, but they’ve been questioning how they’d do with a different QB for a while now, and Alex’s unfortunate injury may give them chance to see. Will this be a Drew Bledsow-Tom Brady scenario that takes TEIM to new heights? Either way, we’d like Coach Jay to get a big win over Emily Curry. He’s just nicer. BUT TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 6




Title Shot vs Bullet Club (+8) – Title Shot is legit. Dubey is slinging the rock like its 1997, but more importantly, Devon is back making men turn into little boys, as is her specialty. TS brought A&A to school 44-29, not too long after a comeback victory 22-19 against Gryffindor. This puts Title Shot at 3-0 and on top of the division. Bullet Club might have some fun new jerseys, but it’s the same old issues already affecting them. Attendance is always a problem for this team, yet they still won relatively easily against Energy Buff 32-26 in a game that wasn’t as close as the score suggests. If Bullet Club has their entire team on hand, this could be the game of the day. If not? You can skip it. TITLE SHOT BY 6


Money Ball vs Energy Buff (+6) – Two new teams trying to find their way. Energy Buff has proven that their preseason odds to win the division were extremely off as they played a Bullet Club team WITHOUT most of its best players and lost 32-26. This team isn’t the second coming of Bad Apples, they’re more Cintas with a few upgrades in their women. Not a good sign. Money Ball is being accused of having too many alpha dogs it seems, but they have a lot of players who know how to play the game so we still think they can figure it out. A 30-22 loss to A&A is a step in the right direction. This game is going to come down to which team can gel sooner, as both teams need to get their first win of the season, and avoid going 0-3.   MONEY BALL BY 12


Gryffindor vs A&A (EVEN) – The TSL is already considering giving out free earplugs to everyone at the fields during this game. A matchup between Matty Ice, Joey Batts, and Jeremy Burr will prove to be a loud one. Gryffindor lost 22-19 to Title Shot last week, but as usual, that was Anthony’s fault and NOT Joey’s. A&A went 1-1 last week with a 30-22 win against Money Ball, followed by a 44-29 loss to Title Shot. Matty apparently had to scramble for a roster when he had some late cancellations so we can’t read too much into those games. These two teams are looking for a big win since there’s a good chance that this game could mean the difference between a first round bye in the playoff or not. This game is another ITS ON!!! Game if you ask me. Budding rivalry? Maybe. It’ll be close for sure. A&A BY 1




Slytherin That End Zone vs 3rd And Schlong (EVEN) – Look out for a potential Game of the Day right here! 3AS remembered who they were this week and handed Morning Wood a 26-0 beatdown. SITE, after some positive reviews from Week 1 took a bit of a hit from AWDIQ in a 42-28 loss, but rebounded to defeat the Ultimate Warriors 39-12 to salvage Week 2. This game is an early D3 season matchup between two of the legit contenders for the title. This game should absolutely come down to the wire, and if you’re at the fields between 10 and 11, watch this and let me know the details. 3RD AND SCHLONG BY 2


Peachy Platoon vs Ultimate Warriors (+10) – Oh THERE’S the Peachy Platoon I was talking about in the preseason! I got a lot of emails about this “Dean” fellow making a crazy catch. Thanks for making me look like a dummy Week 1 guys. Peachy looked every bit the part of a D3 contender last week, defeating the Sticky Bandits 42-28. The Ultimate Warriors went 0-2 last week, losing 39-12 to SITE and then 35-26 to Sticky Bandits. The Warriors aren’t having the best of starts this spring, but the last time we were down on them this early in the season, they won the D4 title as the Shredders from like the 7th or 8th seed in the playoffs when Sam Lattuca made Katherine Keller her bit…well, you get the idea. You can’t ever count them out. But, for now, I’m going with PP. PEACHY PLATOON BY 13


All We Do Is Quinn vs Sticky Bandits (+12) – Here we are in Week 3, and already LOTS of bets are coming in for that AWDIQ D3 championship. Quinn is arguably the most impressive team of the season so far, as they sit at the top of the D3 standings with a 2-0-1 record that includes wins over two big title contenders, SITE and 3rd and Schlong. Quinn can argue they’ve had the toughest schedule so far as well, and Sticky in Week 3 only helps that argument. Jeff Krol’s Sticky Bandits are one of the smartest teams in the TSL, but last week they lost 42-28 to Peachy before coming back with a 36-25 win over the Ultimate Warriors. Things aren’t looking as bright as they’d like them to, and with Alex on the shelf with his groin injury, things could get worse in a hurry for the Bandits if they don’t find a QB soon. If Alex was playing, the line would be about +6. He’s VERY important to the Sticky game plan, and while losing your QB hurts just about ANY team, it just feels like its even worse here. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 15 (AWDIQ BY 3 IF ALEX PLAYS)


Frodo Swaggins vs Morning Wood (+3) – Morning Wood gave Dave Wilbern a present for his birthday last Saturday that he already has enough of: blowout losses. A 26-0 dismantling of MW by 3rd And Schlong did have Dave’s birthday start off on the right foot, but rumor has it that he more than made up for it at the bar afterwards. Frodo Swaggins was off last week, but Garrett Beesing’s squad is looking to get their first win of the season. They’re sitting at 0-1-1 right now, and while they had a 44-21 loss to Sticky Bandits, they’re also the only team to really give AWDIQ a game so far, tying them 26-26. So which Frodo will show up this week? Which Morning Wood will show up this week? This is a game where the loser is going to start hearing the whispers of “maybe they should’ve been in D4”. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 4




Buffalo Solar Solutions vs Full Throttle (+8) – How about BSS? It appears the scores emailed to me last week that had them losing to Indecent Exposure 28-22 was incorrect and they won, according to toppersports.com. And then, they came out last week and just beat up on No Punt Intended 49-15. BSS is sitting at 2-0 on the season, and looking GOOD. Full Throttle didn’t take too kindly to some of the things being said about them, and took it out on Puckett All-Stars with a 36-28 victory. Lou and friends on FT are looking forward to this big Week 3 game, as its quite the measuring stick for who’s going to do what in this division. I liked seeing Full Throttle come out strong in Week 2, but I think BSS is gearing up for an eventual crash course with End Game for the D4 title. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 9


No Punt Intended vs Hung Buffalo (EVEN) -  Hung Buffalo has been a good, solid, consistent team for most of the last 100 years (or however long they’ve been playing together) and last week’s 1-1 effort (a 34-30 loss to Uncle Rico’s and a 46-34 win against Indecent Exposure) show that they’re a team to be reckoned with this season. NPI’s nice start was pretty much extinguished in the 49-15 loss to Buffalo Solar Solutions, and they find themselves staring a 1-4 record in the face by Week 3’s end if they don’t get themselves on the right page. They’re the epitome of a team with more questions than answers in the TSL and its on Kyle Conniff to get this team moving, or they’re looking at a long season. HUNG BUFFALO BY 6


Indecent Exposure vs Cobblestone (+10) – Cobblestone was smacked around by End Game last week 49-12. Granted, Darryl Carr QB Superstar was away on a business trip of some sort, but I’m not sure even HE would’ve mattered for that one. IE comes into the game with a 1-2 record in the division, after a loss to Hung Buffalo 46-34 last week. They’re right “in the mix” and should easily be a playoff team, but a game against Cobblestone is one they can’t afford to lose in what looks to be a tight divisional race all season. INDECENT EXPOSURE BY 14


No Punt Intended vs Cobblestone (+7) – Same as above for IE, No Punt Intended can’t afford a loss against Cobblestone here, as an 0-2 day gives NPI a very good chance to miss the playoffs completely. Cobblestone hasn’t shown the TSL much the last few seasons, so if they’re going to make their move, this week is as good as any. But, until they show us anything, I’ll take NPI giving the points. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 9


End Game vs Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (+4) – Here we go. A big time matchup between two of the division’s better teams. Jon Senn’s Time Travelers played a bit true to form from what I said last week, as they beat Hung Buffalo 34-30, but a rested GLBS team caught them in the next game and beat them 24-0. This will be a true early test to really see if they have a shot at the D4 title or not. End Game is currently the class of the league. They boast an embarrassment of riches in the female department with Emily “I’m playing two divisions too low” Schilling and Stephanie “I get better every week” Czaja. Now, I had THREE people email me about ANOTHER girl who “looks pretty good too”, but I don’t know her name or what she’s about. If anyone can tell me, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and let me know. Hell, if this girl is reading this, SHE can email me. Anyway, End Game waltzed over Cobblestone 49-12, and they look to be in the driver’s seat for D4, with BSS charging hard. This game will be a good one, but the girl advantage wins out. END GAME BY 3


GLBS vs Puckett All-Stars (+10) – What happened to you Puckett? Was my faith in you misplaced? A 36-28 loss to Full Throttle has a preseason favorite 0-2 and at the bottom of the division. GLBS, however, is getting noticed around the fields. A 24-0 stomping of Uncle Rico’s after a close loss to End Game will do that. This truly looks like a classic matchup of two teams traveling in opposite directions right now. GLBS BY 7


End Game vs Puckett All-Stars (+14) – What a hell of a doubleheader for Puckett this week. First they get the surging GLBS, and right after they’re getting End Game. Both teams will have good battles before they meet each other, but if both teams come out healthy, End Game should be able to take this one. We can’t account for exhaustion or injuries here, so END GAME BY 10




Matty’s Angels vs Hope and Ruin (+7) – Matty’s Angels are sitting pretty atop the division at 3-0 after a close 54-46 win against Five Star Generals and a not so close win against HomeTech 56-25. There’s not much more to say about the Angels that we haven’t said before. If Matty Ice is firing on all cylinders, there’s simply too much talent from this collection of most of WNY’s best female football players to stop them. But then again, Hope and Ruin has stopped them before. Hope and Ruin comes in at 1-1 on the season after last week’s 43-26 setback against the Cunning Stunts. Whether or not they learned anything from that game against a squad of amazing women for this week’s game against a squad of amazing women remains to be seen. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 8


Come From Behind vs Over Compensators (+6) – The OC was a great TV show. The OC is a not too bad football team. Yes, they’re 0-2, but they played the Angels tough in week one, and last week they had a 23-12 loss to the Pink Pteratacos. The OC needs to work on their consistency and they’ll be fine. Come From Behind has been working on their consistency together since 1995. That came in handy for their 29-27 win against HomeTech last week. Look for that consistency to reign supreme once again. If this matchup were a little later in the season, I’d consider going the other way, but COME FROM BEHIND BY 3


Ugandan Warriors vs HomeTech (+6) – HomeTech had an 0-2 week last week, dropping a very close 29-27 contest against Come From Behind before being taken behind the wood shed by the Angels, losing 56-25. The Ugandan Warriors (not to be confused with the Ultimate Warriors, by the way) were off last week after their 33-31 loss in Week 1 to the Cunning Stunts, which was ANOTHER game falsely reported to me (They had a 31-23 UW win, for the record). Anyway, props to Blasé LaDuca, who even on his team’s off day hung out at the bar all day and made friends with everyone. Reports came flying in that he even had a HUGE plate of pasta at the outside bar. It’s good to hear Blasé assimilating (you guys can google the definition) himself to the TSL Universe more and more. UGANDAN WARRIORS BY 10


Pink Pteratacos vs Five Star Generals (+3) – Okay, after having sent more scouts out to see who the hell the Generals were, it turns out its mostly (if not all) of our old friends the Cellino Sewer Rats. Somehow, it seems they got back in with our DJ friends and got the sponsorship back! Good for them! After the dismal showing in Week 1, The Generals came out swinging at Matty’s Angels, and almost pulled the upset before losing 54-46. The Pteratacos played their first two games of the season last week, and went 2-0, beating the Over Compensators 23-12 and then beating up a bit on Vandalay Industries 40-22. This should be a great game between two teams vying for the “best non-gender team in D5” title. I know that 5 Star sits last in their division, but they’re one good win away from 4th. FIVE STAR GENERALS BY 1


Matty’s Angels vs Pink Pteratacos (+7) – I’m not yet sure the Pteratacos will be able to slow down the Angels for two full halves yet. Playing a “should be” tough game against 5 Star just before this might prove to be too much. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 15


Cunning Stunts vs Vandalay Industries (+12) – Team Topper Lite has some great females in Melissa and Karissa, but until they get a bit more seasoning they wouldn’t even crack the Stunts’ lineup. And that’s not a knock on the “issa’s” as much as it is a compliment to the strong roster the Stunts trot out. The Stunts are on a mission to get to Matty’s Angels, and I think poor vandalay may just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. CUNNING STUNTS BY 13




The Bambs vs Practice Squad (+8) – What a big Week 3 matchup for D6! Both teams are 2-0, but one of them is just playing a bit better than the other. The Bambs have seamlessly returned to the TSL and a Week 2 36-12 victory over TMA has us feeling like they’re becoming the divisional favorites. Practice Squad, a week after squeaking out a 24-22 victory comes back to beat The Bi-Polar Express 32-25. PS doesn’t think they’ve been playing their best football yet this season, and The Bambs will represent the true test on if “this year is the year” for them. THE BAMBS BY 6


pAssless Chaps vs TMA (With Rameer Green on Drums) (+7) – These two teams don’t really like each other, as some not surprising bad blood stemming from Prim’s actions (stop me if you’ve heard this before) got the Chaps in a tizzy last year. Things got even more bitter this offseason when Valerie Testa decided to spurn the Chaps to go play with TMA, knowing she’s crossing enemy lines. However, the Chaps have an inspirational leader in Coach Jay who will convince them to turn the other cheek like a modern day Jesus Christ. The Chaps didn’t fare too well in a 47-26 loss to the Jabronies last week, but they still did better than TMA did in a 36-12 loss to The Bambs. TMA has been a mess all season and it’s only been two weeks. Allegedly, they’ll have the entire 52 man roster there this week so there shouldn’t be any “we’re missing our QB” or “we’re missing two of our best girls” excuses this time around. If the time is now for TMA, they need to focus on the two things they do best: Drink Moonshine and throw the ball to Ron Webber. The entire league is a better place when this team is happy and winning. I think this is the week they find their mojo. TMA (WITH RAMEER GREEN ON DRUMS) BY 8


The Bi-Polar Express vs TMA (EVEN) – This game should be a fun one, as two of the league’s most fun teams square off in a battle that everyone should go down and watch. We already touched on the early season struggles of TMA, so lets talk about BPX. The Express finally got their season kicked off last week, but they came up short against the Practice Squad 32-25. Gordon stayed in his yellow shirt all day, but there was a “questionable” safety call by Billy Gunn that almost let the fans see the red. BPX played well in their first game together since last season, even if they were missing a few key girls. If they can keep the good plays going, there’s a chance that they’ll be able to score a mild upset, especially if TMA falls apart in the game before. THE BI-POLAR EXPRESS BY 4


Jabronies vs The Bi-Polar Express (+8) – The Jabronies continued their nice start to the season with a 47-26 victory over the pAssless Chaps that gives them a 2-0 start and a division lead. They boast some nice talent, and they’ll be looking to capitalize on a late game against Gordon’s girls that will be full of people playing their 3rd game of the day. JABRONIES BY 9





1.      Seriously, if Chadwick goes out and beats Public Enemy, Eyes Downtown has to stick with him, right? Could Bobby be out of a job?

2.      If Dave Wilbern is the Captain of the “Guys who consistently ask themselves if they should play for a different team because it feels like they’re wasting their talents on their current one” All-Stars, is Ron Webber the Co-Captain?

3.      Can we PLEASE get to June 8th with both the Cunning Stunts and Matty’s Angels being undefeated before their big matchup? Imagine an entire team vs team bra bet! Might have to build a bigger Brall of Shame.

4.      Where’s the music been? I’ve heard several complaints that there hasn’t been enough beats bumping at the fields.

5.      Would you play another night of TSL football? Rumors are starting to surface that there *might* be some night football in the future. But you didn’t hear that from me.




1.      One thing I’ve been told a few times: more and more TSLers are NOT drinking and driving home this season. While this was a slight issue in the past, not only are more people sobering up or Ubering home, others in the league are making people who shouldn’t be driving stay at the bar. And to their credit, people aren’t arguing it and they stay! Way to be safe TSL!

2.      While the “Big One” is ON for this week, there’s quite a few games that are going to be pretty awesome to watch. Most notably Pink Pteratacos vs Five Star Generals, Gryffindor vs A&A, and End Game vs Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers.

3.      June 1st is the TSL Spring Party! Clear your calendars and make sure you’re at the fields for this one!

4.      The Breakfast Club continues to do it right with the inclusion of bets for each game. Kelly Liddle is 0-2 in her bra bets and I’ve been told she’ll keep doing it until she wins one. Emily Curry having to write Emily Schilling a poem was awesome. And something happened in the other game that included Travis’ underwear that we can ignore, but alcohol was also involved. I can’t wait to see what happens this week. Bern Them All 34 - EmC HammerTime 32 , Schilling ‘Em Softly 46 – Hot TaMolly’s 32 , Natural Born Kellers 25 – Peanut Butter Kelly Time 17.

5.      I know I’ve taken a lot of shots at Alex of TEIM/Sticky over the years, but its been in good fun. Groin injuries are no joke, and I truly hope he’s going to be okay. He’s a great guy from what people tell me.

6.      My early season nominees for biggest surprise and biggest disappointment so far: Surprise: All We Do Is Quinn, Disappointment: Energy Buff.

7.      Someone tell Topper to get the wheel out and spin the thing. This league is always more fun when people can win bar tabs. Or when they have to direct traffic.

8.      I’ve been often imitated but never duplicated during my years writing this column for everyone. Even still, props to “The Build” Rameer Green and “The Sentinel” (whoever they are) for putting out some high quality stuff to read at the beginning of our week.

9.      Thanks to everyone that’s been emailing me about their teams and giving me some info on them. It’s hard not being at the fields and trying to get a feel for what’s going on without an hour phone call from Lenny every week. If you want your team or a player on them to get more pub, you really just have to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . That’s all. 

10.   I’ve been seeing some cool pictures of some of the new jerseys in the league. I joked earlier, but Public Enemy’s new threads to mimic Lenny’s red visor/shirt combo was a nice touch. Multiple teams have added some form of “LTA” as well. The Pink Pteratacos look cool. So do the new American Bullet Club jerseys. If you have some cool jerseys that you think should get the shout out, send me a picture.


Go out there this weekend and have fun. Remember, its just a game.

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