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Finals Weekend

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 23 October 2020 19:38
Published: Friday, 23 October 2020 19:38
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 200



Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe:




It took a long time to get here, but we know that. We know what we’ve overcome in the #TSL2020 season to get to this point. But it doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that we made it, and on October 24th in the Year of Our Lord 2020, the TSL will crown 6 New Champions. 6 teams will earn their place in history alongside their claim to Social Co-Ed Football Immortality. This one is special. It was unlike any other championship that preceded it, and (hopefully) will be unlike any of the ones that follow.


On this Saturday, the remaining 26 of the TSL’s 44 teams will do battle. All of D1 is still around, so if Gryffindor or Why So Serious? has any hope of winning the D1 title, it’ll take 3 straight wins to do so. Good luck.


And just when I thought this league couldn’t surprise me anymore, it did. The fact that there was only ONE “upset” last week is the most insane thing I’ve ever heard of. I thought Topper was messing with me when he told me on Sunday. That’s right, other than The Untouchaballs’ 21-7 victory over Grey Hair Don’t Care, every single higher seed won this weekend (with the exception of the play-in games, somehow).


That’s incredibly boring, and you all know it. And in the TSL, it feels almost impossible! We usually have a shocker or two that gets the league talking! But NO, not this season. And most of the games weren’t even close. The few that were, were VERY exciting. For example:


Frodo Swaggins 39, Vaspian 38 – Scotty Dro let out an email to TSL brass last weekend, claiming how his team lets him down and he’s looking for a D1 team next year. . . Then he proceeds to not even show up for the playoffs. This resulted in Frodo having to have Garrett play QB, and they had to play 3 guys and 3 girls all game. That’s not ideal, unless you’re Vaspian. Vaspian, fresh off their win over En Fuego in the play-in round, stayed close all game before tying the game with little to no time left on the clock. They ALMOST won the game on the conversion, but failed. This brought us to OVERTIME. Vaspian struck first, scoring a gender TD but failing on the conversion. Frodo went to respond, and finally did, getting a huge gender TD to tie the game. But they were successful on their conversion, giving them a 1 point win.


Uncle Rico’s 37, Freeballers 31 – I’m starting to think that the Freeballers never “all had COVID” but instead proceeded to get some sort of PEDs to get them playing like an actual football team this week. After knocking out the Stunts, they took URTT to the limit. Uncle Rico’s was forced to score with no time left to take this game that you’d have guessed they’d win by 21. Rico’s moved on, but barely.


Slytherin That End Zone 24, Bullet Club 16 – A back and forth, defensive affair is the opposite of how these two teams play each other normally. After taking a quick 15-0 lead, SITE couldn’t do anything after that for most of the game. Bullet Club took a 1 point lead with apparently like 9-10 minutes left. After more back and forth, with SITE down to 5-1 not far from the endzone, Newman found Taylor Pagano for a gender TD with 29 seconds left to secure the win.


Graves Bros 29, The BiPolar Express 24 – Another typical close game between these two teams. Both were considered to be among the division’s best and even if this was a #1 vs #8 seed matchup, you wouldn’t have known it. BPX started coming together at the end of the season, but Graves Bros has been good all year and deserved this one.



But that’s it. FOUR close games. If there were more, its because nobody told me about it. What a boring league. Why do we even bother playing?


Oh, that’s right, because football is awesome.


So who’s going to win the TSL Championships this weekend? Well, Let me tell you:




Okay, I proceeded to give you all the “Round 1” games and breakdown last week, so if you want to read it, feel free to scroll down a lot to that article and remind yourself. And if you didn’t read it last week? FOR SHAME FOR NOT READING MY ARTICLE. All jokes aside, this is going to be an interesting wrinkle for some of these teams with championship aspirations. For the sake of having something to write, I’m going to use my predicted winners from last week for the matchups here. No offense to Gryffindor or Why So Serious?. Prove me wrong, it’s my favorite.


#1 Public Enemy (7-1) vs #5 Eyes Downtown (3-4)

Points For (Division Rank): PE – 33.38 (2nd), ED – 28.43 (5th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): PE – 25.25 (1st), ED – 33.00 (4th)

Overall TSL Rank: PE 3rd, ED 28th

TSLQBPRC Line: Public Enemy (-6)

Past Game(s): Public Enemy 28, Eyes Downtown 18


It’s on. Right? Don’t let the rankings deceive you, Eyes Downtown is a better team than they’ve shown this year. There may have been zero total games they’ve had their full roster, but I believe this week they’ll be at full power. But, how good are they? There’s a lot of new faces over there, including some females that have never played in a TSL playoff game before, much less one that they have to deal with Heather and Cheryl in. I’m giving the edge to Public Enemy for their experience and having continuity this season. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 9


#2 Tight Ends In Motion (5-3) vs #3 Marketing Mayors (4-4)

Points For (Division Rank): TEIM – 38.50 (1st), MM – 30.29 (4th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): TEIM – 26.75 (2nd), MM – 28.00 (3rd)

Overall TSL Rank: TEIM  14th, MM 21st

TSLQBPRC Line: Tight Ends In Motion (-3)

Past Game(s): Tight Ends In Motion 29, Marketing Mayors 28


So, what a ride for Tight Ends this season. After an awful start, they’re finding themselves with the hottest offense in the TSL. It’s always a shame to say this, but the injury to Alex has once again become the best thing for them. “Bro” Kleckler came in, along with Robin Makula, and the offense is at a level never before achieved by TEIM. The hottest story in the TSL the last few seasons has been “How good would TEIM be with a better QB?” and now we’re seeing it. As good as the Mayors are, TEIM is just better right now. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 7


The End Result: Public Enemy brings out the best in everyone, but especially Tight Ends. TEIM is going to want this game badly, for obvious reasons, but “at the end of the day” (say that in B’s Brother’s voice please), the champs retain. PE just has a slightly more talented roster, and the best QB of all time. That gives them the edge in what will be an EXCELLENT D1 final. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 2



Last Week’s Games:


Jabronies 26, Peachy Platoon 18

Sticky Bandits 43, Morning Wood 28

SITE 24, Bullet Club 16


#1 Dilfs (7-2) vs #4 Slytherin That End Zone (5-4)

Points For (Division Rank): Dilfs – 33.63 (3rd), SITE – 31.11 (4th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Dilfs – 26.00 (1st), SITE – 28.89 (3rd)

Overall TSL Rank: Dilfs 5th, SITE 18th

TSLQBPRC Line: Dilfs (-9)

Past Game(s): Dilfs 35, SITE 22



The Dilfs have pretty much dominated this division all season. Their only losses have been to Sticky in Week 1 with a lot of players missing and a midseason loss to Jabronies. That’s it. Meanwhile, SITE’s 5 wins are as follows: HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO, Morning Wood, a Week 1 win against Jabronies, and two late comeback wins against Bullet Club and Peachy Platoon. Not exactly world beating. The Dilfs are just a little bit better than SITE in everything, except for being younger. I don’t think that comes into play here. DILFS BY 12


#2 Jabronies (6-3) vs #3 Sticky Bandits (5-4)

Points For (Division Rank): Jabronies – 34.33 (2nd), Sticky – 34.44 (1st)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Jabronies – 27.56 (2nd), Sticky – 33.22 (7th)

Overall TSL Rank: Jabronies 10th, Sticky Bandits 17th

TSLQBPRC Line: Sticky Bandits (-1)

Past Game(s): Sticky Bandits 39, Jabronies 28


I don’t know what it is about these two teams, but it seems like Sticky just always has the Jabronies’ number. It’s possibly because the Jabronies are made up of all of the players that weren’t good enough to crack the Sticky Roster. They play the same Krol-Baker offense, AND defense. Sticky has been doing this longer, and they tend to know what the Jabronies are going to do before they even do it. Logically, Jabronies should be able to score a lot more on Sticky, but they can’t. Until they start proving things otherwise, I’ll just go with what should happen, since that’s what this season seems to be about anyway. STICKY BANDITS BY 6


The End Result: Well, we’ve kind of just seen this game two weeks ago. Dilfs won 39-31. That’s not a “guaranteed” win for the Dilfs, but when it comes down to it, they’ve just been the best team in the division all season. Barring half the team needed to get a rapid COVID test in Syracuse or something this time (more on that one later), the repeat feels on. DILFS BY 7




Last Week’s Games:

Vaspian 42, En Fuego 25 (Play-In Game)

Frodo Swaggins 39, Vaspian 38 (OT)

The Untouchaballs 21, Grey Hair 7


#1 All We Do Is Quinn (8-1) vs #5 The Untouchaballs (3-5)

Points For (Division Rank): AWDIQ – 34.00 (1st), Untouchaballs – 27.13 (4th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): AWDIQ – 22.43 (2nd), Untouchaballs – 27.00 (5th)

Overall TSL Rank: AWDIQ 7th, The Untouchaballs 29th

TSLQBPRC Line: All We Do Is Quinn (-14)

Past Game(s): All We Do Is Quinn 32, The Untouchaballs 28


14 points is too much in this contest. I get it, Quinn has been a wrecking ball all season (save for the one game without Vince), but they still only beat UT by 4 points in the regular season. Quinn might blow it in the playoffs every single year, but Untouchaballs have literally never been here before. I still don’t know who they are, but at some point I will. Maybe this is the time to make a name for themselves? Maybe not. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 8


#2 Scared Hitless (5-2) vs #3 Frodo Swaggins (5-2)

Points For (Division Rank): SH – 30.83 (3rd), Frodo – 33.71 (2nd)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): SH – 20.17 (1st), Frodo – 26.43 (4th)

Overall TSL Rank: Hitless 12th, Frodo 13th

TSLQBPRC Line: Scared Hitless (-3)



Game of the day potential right here. These two teams are VERY CLOSE to each other, so we’ll have to break it down to advantages. At QB, Assuming Scotty shows up, Frodo has a distinct advantage over Hitless there. Dylan is doing a fine job as he learns, but Scotty is an All World co-ed QB. For females, Scared Hitless has the distinct advantage because Jaimie and Cat are better than anyone on Frodo. So it comes down the supporting cast of males. Nick and an aging Garrett are nice to have, but the cupboard is bare behind them. Meanwhile, Scared Hitless boasts some impressive talent, most notably Jonny Football, Tristan, Brandon Farr and Cat’s boyfriend. I’m sure there’s some other guy I don’t know in there too. This is another place I have to give the edge to Hitless. It’ll be a good one, but SCARED HITLESS BY 12.


The End Result: I just want to be able to say “Man, don’t you wish Quinn had room for Cat’s boyfriend?” and give Hitless the win here. The truth is, these teams are pretty even across the board, EXCEPT at QB. Vince is just better than Dylan, and AS LONG AS QUINN DOESN’T FALL BEHIND AND LOSE THEIR HEADS BECAUSE THEY’RE PREMATURELY ASSUMING THEY’RE BLOWING IT AGAIN, that should be enough to give them the victory they’ve tried so very, very hard for. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 6



Last Week’s Games:

Freeballers 47, Cunning Stunts 9 (Play-in)

Uncle Rico’s 37, Freeballers 31

Over Compensators 46, Family Feud 15



#1 Buffalo Solar Solutions (6-2) vs #4 Over Compensators (3-5)

Points For (Division Rank): BSS – 35.25 (4th), OC – 34.63 (6th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): BSS – 28.00 (1st), OC – 40.75 (5th)

Overall TSL Rank: BSS 8th, OC 31st

TSLQBPRC Line: Buffalo Solar Solutions (-12)

Past Game(s): Buffalo Solar Solutions 42, Over Compensators 20


While these two teams have very similar offenses, the numbers show that one thing is very clear: the BSS defense will dictate how this game goes. If they play to their normal standards, BSS should walk away with the victory. However, a little birdie told me that there’s a chance that Defensive standout and potential D4 MVP Brett Cole won’t be playing this weekend. Whatever selfish reason he has to not be there (The ONLY allowed explanation is “he’s adopting a puppy”), BSS will need to overcome it. But on the OC side of things, they were talking to Topper about potentially moving around the schedule so they can have some more players make it. Considering that didn’t happen (I think?), The OC might be shorthanded as well. I’m not entirely sure they can afford to be missing players for this game, and that could allow Andy Clark to just carve up the OC defense. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 10


#2 The Angels (6-2) vs #3 Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (5-3)

Points For (Division Rank): Angels – 40.13 (2nd), URTT – 42.00 (1st)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Angels – 33.75 (2nd), URTT – 38.50 (4th)

Overall TSL Rank: Angels 9th, URTT 16th

TSLQBPRC Line: Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (-8)

Past Game(s): Uncle Rico’s 35, The Angels 32


Well, first off, bet the over here. These two teams can score, and score they will. Uncle Rico’s has been one of the better teams in the league in the second half, and they had their “scare” last weekend against the Freeballers that should keep them focused in this game. I’m not entirely sure that The Angels have a way to stop Chris Nelson, and that may be their downfall. These aren’t your Matty’s Angels here, they’re missing some key players due to injuries/being a world famous video game streamer maybe so it’s a different vibe. They don’t have the confidence they normally do. And on top of that, a good chunk of the roster have 1-3 games to potentially play before this one. It all adds up to a shocking D4 final without a gender team. UNCLE RICOS BY 12


The End Result: Buffalo Solar Solutions and Uncle Rico’s are going to put on a nice show for everyone. It’s the top ranked offense against the top ranked defense. But if the rumors are true on the loss of Brett for BSS, that top ranked Defense goes down a notch. Jon Senn finally gets that title. UNCLE RICOS BY 3



Last Week’s Games:

Practice Squad 40, Intentional Pounding 0

Mountain Dew Me 35, TOX 13

Zack Attack 26, Pteratacos 12

Cobblestone 31, ILF 20


#1 Practice Squad (7-1) vs #4 Zack Attack (4-5)

Points For (Division Rank): PS – 35.50 (2nd), ZA – 25.00 (4th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): PS – 13.63 (2nd), ZA – 22.22 (4th)

Overall TSL Rank: Practice Squad 1st, Zack Attack 23rd

TSLQBPRC Line: Practice Squad (-20)

Past Game(s): Practice Squad 38, Zack Attack 15



There just isn’t much to say here. Practice Squad is a level above Zack Attack. But don’t let that skew your view on the Attack. They’ve played VERY well this season, and they’ve just fallen victim to having two titans in their division. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 18


#2 Mountain Dew Me (7-1) vs #3 Cobblestone (6-2-1)

Points For (Division Rank): MDM – 38.35 (1st), Cobblestone – 22.56 (6th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): MDM – 6.25 (1st), Cobblestone – 20.78 (3rd)

Overall TSL Rank: MDM 2nd, Cobblestone 6th

TSLQBPRC Line: Mountain Dew Me (-26)

Past Game(s): Mountain Dew Me 32, Cobblestone 6


I want nothing more than for Darryl Carr QB Superstar to walk onto the fields (five minutes late mostly likely) on Saturday, and slay the beast that is MDM. We all do. But it’s just not going to happen. Like Zack Attack, Cobblestone got stuck with two powerhouses in a season that they could’ve won a championship for sure. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 30


The End Result: It felt weird the entire time typing that PS was #1 and MDM was #2. I think the entire TSL knows that’s not true. I don’t say these things to take away from Practice Squad, but even with them on a higher level, Mountain Dew Me is even higher. It became apparent weeks ago that MDM was taking that title, and even I’m not a bad enough gambler to bet against them. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 11



Last Week’s Games:

The Bambs 38, PC Plumbing 16

TMA 26, Blitzkrieg 15

Graves Bros 29, The BiPolar Express 24

Tater Tots 39, Lenny’s Ladies 16


#1 Graves Bros (7-1) vs #4 TMA (4-4-1)

Points For (Division Rank):  GB – 33.38 (2nd), TMA – 23.00 (8th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): GB – 28.38 (4th), TMA – 20.00 (1st)

Overall TSL Rank: GB 4th, TMA 19th

TSLQBPRC Line: Graves Bros (-2)

Past Game(s): Graves Bros 20, TMA 14


Maybe I just don’t give Graves Bros enough respect. Week after week, I expect them to be upset, but all they tend to do is constantly win again and again. No, they don’t kill teams, but they’re always solid and they win each week. TMA has been a much different team in the second half of the season than they were to start the year. Their defense is still elite. They can play zone or man without issue, and the pressure they get up front from their rusher forces teams into mistakes. They’ll do the same to Graves Bros. The issue will be the offense. If QB Ryan has a good day, TMA can take the title that they’re so overdue on. Honestly, if TMA can score over 20 points in a game, they’ll win. But I think it’s time to give some credit where it’s finally due. GRAVES BROS BY 6


#2 Tater Tots (5-3-1) vs #3 The Bambs (5-3)

Points For (Division Rank): Tots – 25.78 (6th), Bambs – 34.00 (1st)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Tots – 22.56 (2nd), Bambs – 28.38 (3rd)

Overall TSL Rank: Tater Tots 11th, The Bambs 15th

TSLQBPRC Line: The Bambs (-2)

Past Game(s): Tater Tots 29, The Bambs 26


Another game with huge Game of the Day potential here. The Bambs’ offense has been magical this season, which is exactly what they’ll need to beat the Tots. The Tots have also been hot the second half of the season, but the teams they’ve been playing (2 games against TMA, 2 against Lenny’s Ladies) haven’t had the best of offenses to prepare for. The Tots are fun team, and they’re getting better by the minute, but I don’t think they have what it takes to keep up with The Bambs this time, and I’m well aware they already beat them once. THE BAMBS BY 4


The End Result: In what can be considered a topsy turvy D6 season where literally all of the potential finals matchups are very fun, we get Graves and The Bambs. This is going to be a higher scoring affair for sure, and I think its going to come down to the wire. Seriously, these teams are as even as you can get. The Bambs average 34 points a game, and Graves scores 33.38. Both teams allow an identical 28.38 points. It’s as much of a coin flip as it can be. So, I flipped one. THE BAMBS BY 1




1.      I ask this every week, but how will the weather play a factor? I see that it’s 75 degrees in Buffalo today, which is PERFECT weather for our championship games. But some overnight storms will make the fields soft, and you’ll be playing in 45 degrees tomorrow. These conditions mean that just about anything will happen. Sunscreen looks to be optional as opposed to mandatory.


2.      Can anyone in D1 win 3 games to take the championship? The short answer is yes. I don’t think I’d be surprised if I find out from Topper Saturday Night/Sunday that Eyes Downtown or Marketing Mayors won the title.



3.      Can All We Do Is Quinn slay the demons of their past and finally take the championship or were you just being nice? I think it lines up nicely for them, but I really, really think Scared Hitless can beat Quinn.


4.      Who’s the most slam dunk champion this season? It has to be Mountain Dew Me. They averaged only 6.25 points against! That’s insanity. I love Practice Squad, especially with B, but I can’t envision this going any way but MDM’s. If I had to rank my champions from above in order of confidence from most to least: Mountain Dew Me, Dilfs, Public Enemy, Uncle Rico’s, All We Do Is Quinn, The Bambs.



5.      If all of the teams in this session come back next year, and you were put in charge of who plays in what divisions for the Spring, what would the league look like? Okay, so we had 44 teams this session, which would be 4 divisions of 7, and 2 with 8. I’d want to make D6 only 6 teams, so we can have 3 divisions of 8, 2 of 7, and 1 of 6:


D1: Public Enemy, Eyes Downtown, Marketing Mayors, Why So Serious, Gryffindor, Tight Ends In Motion, Dilfs (7 Teams)

D2: Sticky Bandits, Slytherin that End Zone, Jabronies, Peachy Platoon, Bullet Club, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO, Morning Wood, All We Do Is Quinn (8 teams)

D3: Frodo Swaggins, Scared Hitless, Buffalo Solar Solutions, Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers, The Angels, The Untouchaballs, Grey Hair Don’t Care, Cunning Stunts (8 teams)

D4: Over Compensators, Practice Squad, Mountain Dew Me, Cobblestone, Freeballers, En Fuego, Vaspian (7 teams)

D5: Family Feud, Pteratacos, Graves Bros, Tater Tots, Zack Attack, The Bambs, TMA, ILF (8 teams)

D6: Blitzkrieg, Lenny’s Ladies, The Bi-Polar Express, Intentional Pounding, TOX, PC Plumbing (6 Teams)


These would be some pretty fun divisions. To be honest though, I’d love to get 4 more teams and have 6 divisions of 8 more than anything. Chances are we’ll have some divisions of 10 in the spring when people start coming back. But this is just using the teams that we have now.





1.      Absolute shout out to Travis, Dark Val, and Diana. I don’t know if you know this story yet, but I found it amazing. Apparently, last Friday they found out they *could* have been exposed to COVID, which meant no playoffs for them. Instead of accepting their fate, they found a rapid test center 2 ½ hours away, made appointments as soon as they opened at midnight, and drove the 5 hours round trip to get tested (and they were all negative!) and make it back in time for the games. That’s some dedication to the TSL!


2.      Well, I gave who I *think* will win, but here’s who I’d want to win this Saturday:


a.      D1: Why So Serious? (I mean, that would be amazing)

b.      D2: Jabronies

c.       D3: All We Do Is Quinn

d.      D4: Buffalo Solar Solutions

e.      D5: Cobblestone

f.        D6: Tater Tots


3.      Every champion from our last session is still alive. Public Enemy is still going in D1, The Dilfs are doing well in D2, Sticky acclimated to D2 just fine as D3 champs, The Angels are still around in D4, The OC is alive in D4 as well, and Zack Attack is alive in D5 as the D6 champs. It’s good to see that those who moved up are performing well. It’s not the end of the world to go up a division.


4.      There are currently 7 of the 8 slots for the TSL indoor league already taken. GET YOURS TODAY.


5.      If you’re at the fields this weekend, once again, buy Topper a drink. He deserves it for all of his hard work. Even if you’re out of the playoffs, stop by anyway!


6.      I look forward to Breakfast Club happening again in the Spring, we hope. In case you forgot, we were looking at record numbers and 8-10 teams as opposed to our usual 6. The secret is out.


7.      It doesn’t matter if it’s the last week of the season, the COVID protocols will remain in effect for the entire day. Don’t be that guy or girl.


8.      Congrats to everyone for (mostly) respecting the bar and not causing any problems! Good stuff right there.


9.      Assuming we can get back to normal next season, be prepared for the return of the usual TSL craziness you’re used to. Clowns, Podcasts, Dunk Tanks, drinking games, maybe an ice cream truck again, who knows?


10.   Finally, again, if you’re REALLY SURE someone on your squad should be nominated for an award or two, email the official Awards Nomination Collector Emily Curry at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and if she’s too intimidating for you, you can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .



Good luck to all of our teams this week. Immortality is waiting for you.


Go get it.



Playoff Week Picks, Predictions, and Thoughts

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 16 October 2020 22:27
Published: Friday, 16 October 2020 22:27
Written by Super User
Hits: 488

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, on this Saturday, the 17th day in the month of October in the Year of Our Lord 2020, after nearly a full year off, the race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality reaches it’s peak. 


That’s right, it’s time for the PLAYOFFS! 


Everything you’ve accomplished on the fields this season no longer matters. All that matters is winning your next few games and capturing that championship. When Saturday begins, all 44 of our glorious TSL franchises will have a shot to be called “Champions”. They will have a chance to etch their names into history, to become part of TSL lore. On this weekend, and during Championship Weekend on the 24th, the players who step up and make big plays will be remembered forever. But who will be the one making that play? Who will be the one people will sit and talk about in four seasons, after a few drinks, saying “Do you remember when “Player X” did THAT?”?


Is it you? If you’re unsure about that answer, ask yourself this: Why not me? Why aren’t YOU the one that’s going to make that big play for your team? Everything you’ve done for the last few months lead you to this point. Every single one of you that steps foot on the fields has a chance to make an amazing play (or plays!) that can lead your team, your friends, your family to victory. Regardless of what you may think of yourself as a player, everyone has that chance for immortality. There is no debate about that. 


It’s up to you to go out and make it happen. 




The Recap:  D1, like most things in the world nowadays, didn’t go exactly to plan. Sure, Public Enemy did what they do and went 7-1 en route to a first round bye in the playoffs. Not a surprise there. But if I had told you that Tight Ends In Motion would lose their starting QB to injury, not to mention losing Emily Curry and Maggie LaMantia as well, would you think that they’d be having a ‘good’ season? The answer is no, but the truth is this team has overcome some crazy downs and they’re on the ups. They snatched 2nd place under new QB Bro Kleckler (he’s the nice one that doesn’t kick plants) and a late season trade with Sticky Bandits to acquire Robin Makula, who’s been a breakout star this season. When things seemed to be at their worst, TEIM rattled off 4 straight wins and took second place. Marketing Mayors finished in the 3rd spot, which is just about right when you consider they may not have their whole team play a game together, except for a couple of games midseason. Gryffindor had a solid season, but nothing truly spectacular came from them. It should be noted again that this was the first season that they’ve gotten wins in the D1 regular season against actual D1 teams, which mean that Joey Batts and Co are still trending upwards. Joey’s been quiet for most of the season, so perhaps he’ll be back in all of his glory for the playoffs? Eyes Downtown finished a disappointed 5th, but most of that was due to the COVID outbreak that ran through the team. It’s hard to win at the D1 level when most of your team isn’t there, even with Bobby texting advice from his car in the parking lot. Finally, Why So Serious? finished 2-6, and they’re on the upswing ever since making the move to switch Pete from QB to WR. As a result, Pete is making more catches instead of throwing passes that would get dropped more than WSS would’ve liked. The WSS ladies have also been getting noticed lately, and Why So Serious? finds themselves in prime “upset” territory. 


Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship:

Pubic Enemy (3-1)

Tight Ends In Motion (5-1)

Eyes Downtown (5-1)

Marketing Mayors (5-1)

Gryffindor (10-1)

Why So Serious? (50-1)


The Games:


#3 Marketing Mayors (4-4) vs #6 Why So Serious? (2-6)

Points For (Division Rank): MM – 30.29 (4th), WSS – 27.38 (6th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): MM – 28.00 (3rd), WSS – 36.13 (6th)

Overall TSL Rank: MM 21st, WSS 40th

TSLQBPRC Line: Marketing Mayors (-7)

Past Game(s): Marketing Mayors 33, Why So Serious? 19


While Why So Serious should be incredibly proud of the strides they’ve been making recently, I don’t think its enough yet to take down the Mayors in the playoffs. The Marketing Mayors have been here many times: slightly underrated, and people sleep on them. Then all of a sudden they show up and “come out of nowhere” to win the title. This season feels like one of those years. MARKETING MAYORS BY 10


#4 Gryffindor (3-4) vs #5 Eyes Downtown (3-4)

Points For (Division Rank): Gryff – 32.71 (3rd), ED – 28.43 (5th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Gryff – 34.86 (5th), ED – 33.00 (4th)

Overall TSL Rank: Gryff 27th, ED 28th

TSLQBPRC Line: Eyes Downtown (-4)

Past Game(s): None


The best season in Gryffindor’s D1 history is also the worst in Eyes Downtown’s. Eyes Downtown is much better than this, and they should be challenging for the title when the smoke clears. Gryffindor, even if they lose this matchup, should be hopeful for next season as they continue to improve in our highest division. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 7


The Prediction:  I think when the smoke clears, we’ll see Public Enemy stand tall, defeating the Marketing Mayors in the final. 



The Recap: D2 is a very closely contested division where anyone can beat anyone. Just about any team can win the championship here, as we see every playoffs. As the season progressed, however, the Dilf’s showed why they should’ve been in D1 this season, cruising to a 7-2 record as they look to defend their title. Travis has done a great job of not only keeping his roster intact, but for smartly adding Casey Lawler, who returned to the TSL this season after some time off. When adding her to Val Bernal and Katie Keller, the Dilf’s boast one of the best female groups in the league. Add into the fact that Dubey has shown up for most of the season, and we’ve got ourselves one heck of a team. Not to be outdone, the Jabronies find themselves living up to the hype, scoring over 300 points this season. Joe Miano has looked more than fantastic at times, throwing the ball all over the place for Eric Klecker and Ben Stack to go get it. This team has come a long way from D6, that’s for sure. The Sticky Bandits slot in in 3rd place, and they’re the highest scoring team in the division. Their 5-4 record can be deceiving, they’re a very good team that has come up short in a few close ones. Jeff Krol has had this team playing together for what seems like forever, and that continuity is Sticky’s greatest strength. Dave Baker has had an excellent season, as has Brian Stevens. Mike Thomas has to be in the driver’s seat for D2 QBOTY as well. Slytherin That End Zone started off hot, but cooled off as the season progressed. A lot of that had to do with Taylor Pagano missing a few games in the middle of the season, as she’s the one thing SITE has needed for some time now: a top flight girl. Historically, its hard to get those to play with Newman on the team, so we’re not blaming Gary for that one. Speaking of Newman, when his head is on straight, he can be one of the best QBs in the league. Just ask him. SITE still boasts some excellent players (looking at you Dawson) and they’ll have a say in the championship for sure. Bullet Club comes in at their familiar 5th place position, after another season of a constant QB carousel. Add in some injuries to Glenn Bird and Zach Newberry, and it hasn’t been best of times. The offense is too inconsistent at times, so they have to rely on defense to win some games. Morning Wood finished 6th this season, not too bad for a team that took some time off before jumping right back into D2. Morning Wood actually boasts some “better than you think” female talent in Rachel Parker and Nicole Becker, and other than Mo Saleh, they have some elite speed at WR. Add into the fact that they’re learning to gel with their new QB, and they could very well be a tough out this year. I can’t fault Peachy Platoon for not living up to expectations. It’s very hard to maintain their level of play when they lose QB Dean Thompson for most of the season. He’s simply irreplaceable for what he brings to the table. Peachy still has loads of talent, starting with WR threat Leseaon Washington. Add into the mix a fantastic female crew headlined by Joy Thompson and Moriah Williamson and really, anything is possible. Finally, last year’s #1 overall seed, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO comes limping in at 1-7. It wasn’t the best of times for Team Topper, but that’s to be expected when you know his head was all over the place trying to figure out how to make this league happen for all of us. Add in a couple of unexpected losses to the roster and its no wonder that they had a down year. 


Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship:


Dilfs (2-1)

Sticky Bandits (4-1)

Jabronies (5-1)

Slytherin that Endzone (7-1)

Bullet Club (7-1)

Peachy Platoon (8-1)

Morning Wood (12-1)



The Games: 


#1 Dilfs (7-2) vs #8 HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO (1-7)

Points For (Division Rank): Dilfs – 33.63 (3rd), HB – 29.25 (5th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Dilfs – 26.00 (1st), HB – 33.13 (6th)

Overall TSL Rank: Dilfs – 5th, HB – 43rd

TSLQBPRC Line: Dilfs (-14)

Past Game(s): Dilfs 49, Hofbrauhaus Buffalo 34


It’s not Topper’s fault. Like I’ve said, his roster took a few hits this offseason, and that’s hard to recover from. The Dilfs have been chugging along all season, and while the championship in D2 is never guaranteed, they’re not losing their chance at it here. The Dilfs will move on. DILFS BY 13


#2 Jabronies (6-3) vs #7 Peachy Platoon (3-6)

Points For (Division Rank): Jabronies – 34.33 (2nd), PP 27.33 (6th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Jabronies – 27.56 (2nd), PP 37.56 (8th)

Overall TSL Rank: Jabronies 10th, PP 35th

TSLQBPRC Line: Jabronies (-18)

Past Game(s): Jabronies 52, Peachy Platoon 23


On paper, this seems like an incredible mismatch, and maybe it will be. We’ve said it all year: it matters if Dean is showing up or not. You’d love to think he wouldn’t be missing the playoffs, but life can always have other plans. The numbers for PP are lower than ever, which isn’t their fault. If they have their entire team, they’re MUCH better than the record shows. Don’t forget, they *did* lose Mo and Dave Wilbern this offseason, which is a pretty big hit to any team. But, even with Dean, I can’t imagine that he’d fix the worst defense in the division by that much. The Jabronies have proven they can score, and score a lot. Even if PP is at full strength, they’re still going to put points up. They have the defense to make some plays and stop Peachy in their tracks. JABRONIES BY 10, MORE IF NO DEAN


#3 Sticky Bandits (5-4) vs #6 Morning Wood (3-6)

Points For (Division Rank): SB – 34.44 (1st), MW 25.33 (8th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): SB – 33.22 (7th), MW – 29.33 (4th)

Overall TSL Rank: SB – 17th, MW – 32nd

TSLQBPRC Line: Sticky Bandits (-2)

Past Game(s): Sticky Bandits 37, Morning Wood 31


For as impressive as Sticky’s D2 leading offense has been all season, it’s distracted people from realizing that their defense just isn’t up to speed. At least not to their own standards. This is the kind of game that can give Sticky trouble. At their best, Morning Wood has multiple players that can stretch the field. This is the perfect matchup for them, of the top teams in D2. They’re one turnover away from taking it, provided their entire team shows up. They have the ability to keep pace with the Bandits, as their regular season matchup showed. This is going to be a great game, that’s for sure. UPSET ALERT: MORNING WOOD BY 3


#4 Slytherin That End Zone (5-4) vs #5 Bullet Club (4-4)

Points For (Division Rank): SITE – 31.11 (4th), BC – 25.75 (7th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): SITE – 28.89 (3rd), BC – 32.25 (5th)

Overall TSL Rank: SITE – 18th, BC – 22nd


Past Game(s): Slytherin That End Zone 31, Bullet Club 28


These two teams have had a bit of rivalry the last few seasons, as both have had big come from behind victories after going down early. These two met in last year’s playoffs, where Bullet Club was victorious in what I think was also the 4-5 matchup. There’s a lot of differences from that game to this one. First off, SITE got better with the addition of Taylor. Meanwhile, Bullet Club has had a QB Carousel, and some key injuries. Right now, I think Bullet Club is going to struggle to score against the SITE Defense. This will come down to which QB blinks first, however. Will it be Newman? Will it be Ricky? I mean, Will it be Easton? It’s a possibility isn’t it? SLYTHERIN THAT END ZONE BY 9


The Prediction: I hate going chalk, especially in a division that just feels so crazy. Everything about this feels like the Dilfs are going to repeat as champions. I could see a world where SITE defeats the Jabronies in the finals. I could see Sticky taking the title. What if Peachy just gets hot for the next two weeks? In the end though, I see the most logical conclusion: The Dilfs repeat as champs, beating Sticky in the finals. 




The Recap: All this was is Quinn this season for D3. AWDIQ came out and dominated just about everyone they played, with the weird exception of losing to Vaspian, but that wasn’t with Vince at QB. If the rumors are true, this is Quinn’s last shot at that elusive D3 title. They’ve been the favorite for multiple seasons, but the pressure always gets to them in the playoffs and they blow it. Hopefully, a bye week this week can help them stay prepared and focused. Scared Hitless was a new team, and they instantly showed they belonged in D3. Made up mostly of End Game with a dash of AWDIQ, Hitless really came together near the end of the season, and they’re playing their best football right now. Jonny Football is out here leading the charge, and after some early struggles, QB Dylan has started to figure things out. Mix in the three headed female monster of Cat, Jaimie, and Carly and this formidable team is a very tough out. Frodo Swaggins kind of zombie walked through the season. They didn’t play every week, and just casually ended up with a 5-2 record. That’s not to say they aren’t very good, but maybe its because they didn’t care much. Garrett Beesing is a husk of what he once was, at least according to the email I got from Scotty Dro, who declared himself a free agent after this season and is looking for a D1 team. Scotty says a lot of things though. Besides Garrett and Scotty, Nick Buczek (that has to be spelled wrong) is the best of the rest, and can make a difference if given the chance. Frodo boasts some talented females in Sarah and Tammy, so they’ll always be in any game. Grey Hair – Don’t Care finished 4th, as QB Dave’s newest passion project had an up and down season. After a hot start to the season, they faded a little down the stretch. They do have some fresh blood on the roster, but they’re still learning the game and how to play together. Look for good things in the future. The Untouchaballs showed up to D3 and fit right in immediately. They’re either a team from before that I don’t know about, or they’re just good at football. Either way, I still don’t know anything about them, like the rest of the TSL. En Fuego made the jump up to D3 after losing in the first round of the D5 playoffs to Cobblestone last season. It may have been ill advised, but they gutted out a 3-5 record and showed they belonged a bit more than anyone (myself included) realized. En Fuego’s biggest issue tends to be their antics on and off the fields that aren’t specifically football playing related, but when they have cooler heads, they can be good. Blasé is still learning the QB position but has made some progress in that area. Dorene is just wonderful as well. She deserves more shoutouts. Finally, the awesome people from Vaspian had a less than awesome season for a bit there, losing too many games out of the gate. They did pick up a big win against Quinn though, which means something, right? They actually play really good defense, and their woes tend to be more on the offensive side of things this year. 


Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship:

All We Do Is Quinn (3-1)

Scared Hitless (4-1)

Frodo Swaggins (4-1)

Grey Hair (8-1)

The Untouchaballs (10-1)

En Fuego (35-1)

Vaspian (50-1)


The Games:


#6 En Fuego (3-5) vs #7 Vaspian (2-6)

Points For (Division Rank): EF – 25.33 (6th), Vaspian – 20.33 (7th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): EF – 31.33 (7th), Vaspian – 26.00 (3rd)

Overall TSL Rank: En Fuego 30th, Vaspian 39th

TSLQBPRC Line: Vaspian (-2)

Past Game(s): En Fuego 7, Vaspian 0


The TSL’s Play-in game will kick off the day at 9am, and this is an interesting matchup. The TSLQBPRC line is right in line with my own thinking: I think Vaspian is the better team here. I don’t expect a miracle run from either of these teams (sorry guys), but when it comes down to it, I think Vaspian’s defense will stifle En Fuego more than they expected, and they’ll pull off the upset here: VASPIAN BY 3


#3 Frodo Swaggins (5-2) vs #6/#7 Play-In Winner

Points For (Division Rank): Frodo – 33.71 (2nd)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Frodo – 26.43 (4th)

Overall TSL Rank: Frodo – 13th

TSLQBPRC Line: Frodo (-10 vs Vaspian), Frodo (-12 vs En Fuego)

Past Game(s): Frodo Swaggins 38, En Fuego 26, Frodo did not play Vaspian this season


Regardless of who Frodo gets, they should undoubtedly be the favorite. Honestly, you could put together an En Fuego/Vaspian All-Star team and Frodo would still be favored. Vaspian might be able to keep the scoring down a little, but neither team has the talent to stick with the stars on Frodo. Add into it the significant upgrade in talent at QB, and all signs just point to Frodo having a nice tuneup before Championship Week. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 17, REGARDLESS


#4 Grey Hair – Don’t Care (4-4) vs #5 The Untouchaballs (3-5)

Points For (Division Rank): Grey – 25.57 (5th), The Untouchaballs – 27.13 (4th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank):  Grey – 28.43 (6th), The Untouchaballs – 27.00 (5th)

Overall TSL Rank:  Grey Hair 20th, The Untouchaballs 29th

TSLQBPRC Line: The Untouchaballs (-3)

Past Game(s): Grey Hair 41, The Untouchaballs 30


The numbers support exactly what I feel here: this is going to be an incredibly close game. This game feels like a story of two teams headed in opposite directions though. The Untouchaballs are trending up, and Grey Hair might be slipping a little bit. Although, Grey may have more playoff experience, and that matters a little bit. I could see this being the game of the day, but I can’t shake the result my brain won’t go away from. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 3


The Prediction:  After all of the smoke clears from these battles, we’re going to see All We Do Is Quinn completely regret not having enough room for Cat’s boyfriend as Scared Hitless beats them in the championship. 




The Recap: Buffalo Solar Solutions have come out and took control of D4 this year. They went undefeated in the division, only losing two D3/D4 crossover games (and getting AWDIQ twice, woof) in the season. QB Andy Clark loves to toss the long ball, but the real story was BSS’ defense throughout the season. They’re not just 1st in D4, they’re first by a lot. They allow, on average, 5.75 less per game than the next team. Very impressive stuff here, and standout defender Brett Cole is a huge reason why. The Angels finished in 2nd, but they’re not the Angels we’re used to. Bobby was in for Matty, although the team played better with Travis throwing during the season. The Angels also lost a few of their better girls to injury along the way, which made for an average season for their standards. Uncle Rico’s come in in 3rd place, but these guys can play too. Jon Senn’s crew scored points by the bunches, and QB Timmy Z is really coming into his own. Add in playmakers like Chris Nelson, Deak, and of course Jackee Thompson and this team is the last one you want to get into a shootout with. Defending D5 champs, Over Compensators, are right where they want to be. In 4th place, with nobody believing in them. They like playing a bit under the radar. QB Larry isn’t making the headlines he did last session, but The OC has still been solid all around. Family Feud and some dudes are a new team, and I still know nothing about their roster as well. Whispers have told me that they understand offense very well, but their defense is just abysmal, and it takes the offense scoring on every drive for them to be in games. In a shocker, the Cunning Stunts find themselves at 2-6 this year, but a lot of that had to do with roster issues. It’s hard to win games when you don’t constantly get players like Kelly Liddle, Emily Schilling, and Amanda Werth to show up. A down year for the Stunts, but it’s a down year for everyone. Finally, the TSL’s own Tennessee Titans, the Freeballers, bring up the rear at 1-6. 40 year plan guy’s foray into D4 did not go anywhere near as planned. QB Boy George looks lost half the time, and when he isn’t, his receivers are. This is what happens when you put together a team of the 3rd best guy on a bunch of D4 – D6 teams and expect the best. Jokes aside, there’s a lot of room for improvement here. Their defense is actually pretty good, and their girls are as well. It’s just going to take some time to gel as a team. They DID get their first win though, so kudos to them! 


Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship:

Buffalo Solar Solutions (2-1)

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (4-1)

The Angels (5-1)

Cunning Stunts (8-1)

Over Compensators (9-1)

Family Feud (15-1)

Freeballers (1,000,000 – 1)


The Games:


#6 Cunning Stunts (2-6) vs #7 Freeballers (1-5)

Points For (Division Rank): CS – 39.88 (4th), FB – 23.00 (7th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): CS – 46.00 (6th), FB – 37.17 (3rd)

Overall TSL Rank: Cunning Stunts 37th, Freeballers 42nd

TSLQBPRC Line: Cunning Stunts (-3)

Past Game(s): Cunning Stunts 37, Freeballers 21


The Freeballers just don’t score enough to keep pace with most teams, especially a gender team. I say that knowing that they just beat The Angels too. The Stunts allow some points for sure, but nobody can really blame the Freeballers for not being quite in sync, given all they’ve dealt with this session. CUNNING STUNTS BY 6


#3 Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (5-3) vs #6/#7 Play-in Winner

Points For (Division Rank): URTT – 42.00 (1st)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): 38.50 (4th)

Overall TSL Rank: URTT – 16th

TSLQBPRC Line: Uncle Rico’s (-10 vs the Stunts, -13 vs Freeballers)

Past Game(s): Uncle Rico’s 53, Cunning Stunts 44. Uncle Rico’s did not play Freeballers this season.


There’s not much I can say here. If the Stunts win, they can’t stop Uncle Rico’s from scoring a bunch, and if the Freeballers win, they can’t score enough to keep up with Uncle Rico’s. Much like D3, this is just a tune up for URTT. UNCLE RICO’S BY 8 VS STUNTS, UNCLE RICOS BY 17 VS FREEBALLERS

#4 Over Compensators (3-5) vs #5 Family Feud (2-5)

Points For (Division Rank): OC – 34.63 (6th), FF – 40.00 (3rd)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): OC – 40.75 (5th), FF – 48.71 (7th)

Overall TSL Rank: OC 31st, Family Feud 36th

TSLQBPRC Line: Over Compensators (-2)

Past Game(s): First meeting. 


What a time to have your first game, eh? The OC and FF meet up in a nice 4/5 matchup here. To me, the OC’s offense should be a bit better. I know they had some attendance issues in the past, and I think that gives the feeling this is closer than it should be. They’re going to score a lot this game, and FF can’t stop it. But I’m not sure FF can score every time. OVER COMPENSATORS BY 9


The Prediction: Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers will end up squeaking by Buffalo Solar Solutions in a high scoring championship game. 




The Recap: Mountain Dew Me just beat the hell out of everyone. Somehow, the Topper Standings have calculated that Practice Squad is the #1 seed based on an MDM forfeit to ruin a perfect season. Real weak stuff there, McGregors. Anyway, these two teams are just a class above the rest and both should graduate to D4 next season regardless of playoff outcome. Practice Squad fixed their QB issues when they signed B off the TSL Sublist. He’s given their offense a bit of life that they were missing, and now they’re looking to get that D5 title they’ve been trying for for so long. Cobblestone went 6-0-1 against everyone other than MDM and PS. That’s AWESOME. Darryl Carr QB Superstar has once again shown that he is immortal and that nobody should ever doubt him. I don’t know what tricks he’s got in his cargo pants for the playoffs, but I know that I’ll be rooting for him. The D6 champions from last season, Zack Attack, find themselves in 4th place for their first year in D5. Not bad at all. They have the ability to give the Top 2 a good game, especially if they limit their mistakes along the way. PTERATACOS really fixed whatever issues they had last session, and the Buscaglias brought a much nicer demeanor to the fields this season. That zen like focus has them smack in the middle of things. The Interdimensional Lightning Falcons need a shorter name. Besides that, this TSL new team definitely took their lumps along the way, but they really figured things out as the season went on. Lead by Andrew Kicak and D5 Male MVP candidate Alex Baker, ILF is on the upswing. TOX comes in next, as Topper’s adventures in D5 were renewed this season. This team is chock full of TSL royalty, with some new faces sprinkled in. They may not have beaten many on the field, but they’re always winning at the bar. Finally, Intentional Pounding comes in 8th place, as the stripped down version of 3rd and Schlong couldn’t get it going. Everyone blames 40 year plan guy for this, even if a lot of it is Katie Keller’s fault for turning her back on her family. That tells you all you need to know about here. Either way, Scott Jr, Mr. Keller, Nicole, and the rest of the team are some of the TSL’s best people, so if you need a team next session, they might need you. If you have talent. Even if you don’t. 


Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship:

Mountain Dew Me (1-2)

Practice Squad (2-1) 

Cobblestone (10-1)

Zack Attack (12-1)

ILF (17-1)


TOX (50-1)

Intentional Pounding (100-1)


The Games:


#1 Practice Squad (7-1) vs #8 Intentional Pounding (1-8)

Points For (Division Rank): PS – 35.50 (2nd), IP – 15.78 (8th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): PS – 13.63 (2nd), IP – 37.78 (8th)

Overall TSL Rank: Practice Squad 1st, Intentional Pounding 44th

TSLQBPRC Line: Practice Squad (-22)

Past Game(s): Practice Squad 26, Intentional Pounding 6


Technically, this is the highest ranking TSL team against the worst ranking TSL team, based on the invisible Topper math rankings. It’s not going to go well for Team Keller. But, they have a chance to pull off the biggest upset of all time, potentially. So there’s that. Practice Squad got an easier game than they should’ve this week. I don’t know if they’ll cover the spread. Mountain Dew Me would. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 20


#2 Mountain Dew Me (7-1) vs #7 TOX (2-7)

Points For (Division Rank): MDM – 38.25 (1st), TOX – 20.78 (7th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): MDM – 6.25 (1st), TOX – 34.11 (7th)

Overall TSL Rank: Mountain Dew Me 2nd, TOX 41st

TSLQBPRC Line: Mountain Dew Me (-28)

Past Game(s): Mountain Dew Me 36, TOX 6


There isn’t much to say here. MDM is a machine, and TOX, despite being lovable and the People’s Champions, just can’t keep up with them. This might be a blood bath. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 32


#3 Cobblestone (6-2-1) vs #6 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (3-6)

Points For (Division Rank): Cobblestone – 22.56 (6th), ILF – 22.89 (5th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Cobblestone – 20.78 (3rd), ILF – 32.67 (6th)

Overall TSL Rank: Cobblestone 6th, ILF 34th

TSLQBPRC Line: Cobblestone (-4)

Past Game(s): Cobblestone 35, ILF 31 and Cobblestone 26, ILF 17


These teams have played two close games so far this year. Even with ILF on the upswing, Cobblestone has been hot all year. Their defense has been amazing so far, and that’s largely why they’re 6-2-1. I just can’t quite imagine a way that ILF wins this one, unless Darryl shows up late to the game or something. But he’d never do that, right? RIGHT? COBBLESTONE BY 8


#4 Zack Attack (4-5) vs #5 PTERATACOS (3-5-1)

Points For (Division Rank): ZA – 25.00 (4th), Pteratacos – 26.22 (3rd)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): ZA – 22.22 (4th), Pteratacos – 28.44 (5th)

Overall TSL Rank: Zack Attack 23rd, Pteratacos 26th

TSLQBPRC Line: Zack Attack (-2)

Past Game(s): Zack Attack 37, Pteratacos 25 and Zack Attack 37, Pteratacos 20


Zack Attack just has the speed to run by the Pteratacos. It’s a good matchup for the Attack, as they showed in both of their wins. It also seems like they’ll score 37 points this week too. The numbers suggest this one should be closer, but I just can’t see it. ZACK ATTACK BY 14


The Prediction: Mountain Dew Me blows by Practice Squad. Chalk, I know, but I don’t care. This division is pretty obvious. 




The Recap: Arguably the TSL’s most even division, D6 showed us flashes of greatness AND lowlights from every single team in it. There is no such thing as a “surprise” winner here, and that’s great. Graves Bros took the top spot from the regular season, going 7-1 and looking impressive most times. The unique scenario of having that fake Gronk guy rush the QB makes the opposition uncomfortable a bit. They also sport better than you realize females. The Tater Tots ended up in 2nd place, as they’ve truly started to figure things out. They got a real QB this year (or at least, he turned into one, I don’t know if it’s the same one) and the addition of Drunk Meg really gives them a solid team. Dave knows what he’s doing in terms of team building for sure. The Bambs looked like they’d run away with the division in the beginning of the season before sliding back a bit, which brings up some worries for the playoffs. After a very rough start, TMA fought their way to 4-4-1 and they’re looking more like the team we thought they’d be this year. Even after losing Drunk Meg and Steph, the TMA girls of Val Testa, Diana Bernal, and Lauren stepped up a lot. The biggest problems remain on the offensive side of that ball, perhaps under center. Some timely drops and some missed reads have this team lower than they should be in the standings. Blitzkrieg had a heck of a coming out party this season, going 3-4-1, but looking really good at times. Light Red Hoodie guy is a monster, and QB Alex really made some strides. The biggest thing for them though is Allie, who’s been impressing people all across the TSL and she may be a shoe in to be nominated for a few awards this offseason. PC Plumbing looks VERY good, and then VERY bad and keeps going up and down. Right now, they’re hot. Lenny’s Ladies had a decent start to their existence, going 3-6 as they figured out what to do on defense. Emerging female stars like Robin, Marla, Laura, and others really helped them out as the season went on. The BiPolar Express seemed poised to win the division after many seasons of improvement, but had quite a rough go at it this season for various reasons. If the entire team shows, however, they’ll be a tough out. 


Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship

Graves Bros (4-1)

The Bambs (5-1)

PC Plumbing (7-1)

Tater Tots (8-1)

TMA (8-1)

Blitzkrieg (10-1)

The BiPolar Express (15-1)

Lenny’s Ladies (17-1)


The Games:


#1 Graves Bros (7-1) vs #8 The BiPolar Express (2-6)

Points For (Division Rank): GB – 33.38 (2nd), BPX – 27.50 (5th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): GB – 28.38 (4th), BPX – 34.75 (8th)

Overall TSL Rank: Graves Bros 4th, The BiPolar Express 38th

TSLQBPRC Line: Graves Bros (-6)

Past Game(s): Graves Bros 36, The BiPolar Express 32 and Graves Bros 36, The BiPolar Express 26


These two teams play each other pretty closely most of the time. A big reason BPX is so low in the standings is due to the consistent roster issues that tend to plague gender teams. With the way the schedule works out for playoffs, that won’t be an issue this time around. This has Game of the Day potential. Here comes the fun. THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS BY 6


#2 Tater Tots (5-3-1) vs #7 Lenny’s Ladies (3-6)

Points For (Division Rank): TT – 25.78 (6th), LL – 24.00 (7th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): TT – 22.56 (2nd), LL – 32.78 (7th)

Overall TSL Rank: Tater Tots 11th, Lenny’s Ladies 33rd

TSLQBPRC Line: Tater Tots (-5)

Past Game(s): Tater Tots 20, Lenny’s Ladies 9 and Tater Tots 34, Lenny’s Ladies 0


The Tots just shutout the Ladies last week, but the girls had a lot of their roster missing. As a result I’d expect something more similar to the first matchup. The Ladies have a chance to win if they can get a stop or two, but when they do it’ll be on QB Easton to not give it right back. TATER TOTS BY 3


#3 The Bambs (5-3) vs #6 PC Plumbing (3-5-1)

Points For (Division Rank): The Bambs – 34.00 (1st), PCP – 30.89 (3rd)

Points Allowed (Division Rank):  The Bambs – 28.38 (3rd), PCP – 31.78 (6th)

Overall TSL Rank: The Bambs 15th, PC Plumbing 25th

TSLQBPRC Line: The Bambs (-3)

Past Game(s): PC Plumbing 36, The Bambs 6 and The Bambs 44, PC Plumbing 32


We’ve got a heck of game here too. The teams split their season series, so who’s going to take this one? Well, I like to take the hot hand, and PC has been on of the hotter teams in the TSL the last month, where as The Bambs haven’t been as good. UPSET ALERT: PC PLUMBING BY 4


#4 TMA (4-4-1) vs #5 Blitzkrieg (3-4-1)

Points For (Division Rank): TMA – 23.00 (8th), Blitzkrieg – 30.38 (4th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): TMA – 20.00 (1st), Blitzkrieg – 29.88 (5th)

Overall TSL Rank: TMA 19th, Blitzkrieg 24th


Past Game(s): TMA 33, Blitzkrieg 20 and TMA 28, Blitzkrieg 16


They say defense wins championships, and that’s yet to be true for TMA. Once again they boast a fantastic defense, but their offense was dead last in division which is nuts. Blitzkrieg finds themselves in the middle of both categories. But, the results don’t lie: TMA plays very well against BK, as proven by two double digit wins this season. Granted, one was apparently with JOHNNY DIO last week, but that shouldn’t matter. As long as TMA can find the endzone, they should win. If this game is low scoring though, BK can take it. TMA BY 3


The Prediction: This is going to be crazy, but look for PC Plumbing to take the championship over Tater Tots in the finals. 




  1. Will roster checks be available for illegal players? Yes, yes they will. All captains should have received an email that the Orange Shirt Brigade will be walking around checking rosters should they be asked. Don’t try to pull a fast one. You know who you are. 


  1. Who is the #1 seed most likely to be upset? Well, I think D6 is so crazy that Graves Bros better not get too comfortable. Ever. 


  1. Who’s got the best chance at an unlikely run to the finals? Slytherin That End Zone might be the 4 seed, but they have a great shot to win the championship. However, based on seeding alone, the answer is Peachy Platoon. They can definitely win this thing with Dean, if he shows up.

  1. Are the rumors true about the TSL winter league? Well, they aren’t rumors anymore. Topper announced that we’re having an 8-10 team league starting in January. Sign up today, as we already have 4 teams signed up! 


  1. Who would be the sentimental favorites in each division? D1 – Tight Ends in Motion, D2 – Hofbrauhaus Buffalo, D3 – All We Do Is Quinn, D4 – Buffalo Solar Solutions, D5 – Cobblestone, D6 – TMA. If all of those teams somehow won their championships next weekend, what a party it’ll be. 



  1. Be respectful of the referees. I know things get heated because it’s playoffs, but that doesn’t mean you get to be a jerk about it. Shout out to Jordan Lawson, who took the time to email me about how much fun he’s had in the league and that you’ve all accepted him as one of your own. Great work out there. 


  1. I really think we’re going to see a couple of upsets this weekend. I don’t feel bad saying BiPolar will beat Graves Bros, and I think we could see something fun like ILF beating Cobblestone. 

  1. This just in: If you haven’t seen yet, ALL D1 games are being pushed to 10/24. IF YOU PLAY IN D1, YOU DO NOT HAVE A GAME THIS WEEK. 


  1. Special shout out to the Orange Shirt Brigade. They’ve spent their time checking the gates all year. Coach Jay was awesome with running the refs. Travis deserves a lot of credit for his behind the scenes work as well, especially with the sublist. 

  1. Can someone please get B’s Brother to the fields? COME ON. 

  2. The weather doesn’t look too lovely this weekend. Have fun with that. 


  1. I really hate picking a lot of #1 seeds to win the championship, but its hard to bet against Public Enemy, Dilfs, AWDIQ, Buffalo Solar, and Mountain Dew Me this year. 

  1. Alternate Universe Champions if NO #1 seeds win? Marketing Mayors, Sticky Bandits, Frodo Swaggins, Uncle Rico’s, Practice Squad, TMA


  1. Shoutout to Sticky Bandits and Dilfs for making a bet on their game recently. It’s fantastic to see teams still doing that. And SHAME ON YOU SENTINEL. Kevin Zack, the 49 year old wonder man who probably isn’t human is *quite* miffed with you disrespecting him. For someone who’s whole bit is “watching” things, maybe you should see a little bit better. (I’m here for you Kevin.)

  1. THE PLAYOFFS ARE HERE! WE DID IT! Seriously, go out and have a ton of fun. Don’t take this Saturday for granted. Have fun and take care of each other. YOU are the reason this is the best football league in the galaxy. Good luck!

What’s YOUR ranking that I’ll be watching from the cut? 




Week 8 thoughts, picks, advice and stuff

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 02 October 2020 11:34
Published: Friday, 02 October 2020 11:34
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 182


Ladies, Gentlemen, and Toppers of the TSL Universe!


Welcome for another edition of The Godfather! I’ll be your host, The Godfather!


Shocking, I know.


The TSL finds itself barreling into the postseason, and all we really seem to know is that we don’t know anything yet!


Okay, we know a few things. We know Why So Serious isn’t going to win D1. We know that Topper is going to have an early playoff exit. We know that at least two “favorites” in their divisions will fail miserably come playoff time. You know, the usual stuff.


But every time I think I know the answers, you change the questions.


Is Public Enemy dominant? Nope. Is PC Plumbing hopeless? Nope. Are The Angels the shoe-ins to win D4? Double nope.


But that’s the beauty of the most random season the TSL has had in its entire history, we just don’t know what will happen. Even when we think we have an idea, chances are fate will toss us a curveball or two. And that’s in a normal season. In the #TSL2020 silly season? Expect about 47 of them. Let’s get to the games. . .




Last Week’s Games:

 Marketing Mayors 49, Gryffindor 15

Marketing Mayors 37, Public Enemy 26

Gryffindor 30, Tight Ends In Motion 23


Well, here comes the Mayors to remind everyone that they’re not to be messed with. They showed up last week, shook up the division, and left. They reminded everyone that Gryffindor isn’t ready for the big time yet, but then they casually reminded Public Enemy that they’re the ones PE needs to look out for, NOT Eyes Downtown. You have to love the last minute swerve just before we get to the playoffs. This past Saturday reminded everyone that the Mayors existed, because I think we all forgot just a little bit how good they can be. Gryffindor would rebound to beat Tight Ends In Motion, but a lot of that would be because of the injury to Alex Buchlis, the TEIM QB. I was hearing that he may have torn his ACL, and if that’s the case, that’s just simply awful. I know that I’ve poked fun at Alex before, but this season he was proving everyone wrong, and it’s a shame that an injury like this happened to an extremely nice guy who doesn’t deserve it. I’m hoping that the reports are false and he’s okay, but it doesn’t seem like it. Good luck Alex.


This Week’s Games:


Eyes Downtown vs Why So Serious? (+16) – 16 may be a lot of points if ED isn’t going to have a good chunk of their team this week. I believe I had heard that Bobby won’t be attendance this weekend, for starters. I’d like to give a shout out to *NAME REDACTED*, Mr/Mrs. Redacted wrote me an awesome email explaining how the ED vs PE rivalry really isn’t that much of a thing anymore, at least to them. He/She didn’t want to make themselves known so that other teams won’t key in on them, so I have to keep them private. They also included a fantastic “band chart” analogy that covered all of the ED’s roster changes and moves over the years. The point is that the ED roster has changed a lot from year to year, so the bad blood just doesn’t really exist with most members of the team. For now. Anyway, Why So Serious is a team. They play in D1. Cool. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 14


Marketing Mayors vs Tight Ends In Motion (+8) – Not that TEIM really needs an excuse, or is even looking for one, but what an awful season for the injury bug for this squad. First Emily Curry goes down, and now they lose their QB for the season. I’m not sure who is going to be throwing for TEIM, but unless it’s Seth coming down from the heavens (He’s not dead, stop it) I can’t imagine this squad really getting it turned around. Maybe they’ll peel Matty Ice off the scrap heap? He’s sitting around as a free agent, isn’t he? I know rosters closed but how fun would an “emergency injury QB” be, especially if it was someone taking Matty out of cold storage (he’s more than likely locked in a beverage cooler, which explains his absence). Anyway, until then, the Mayors look to continue their dominance that they’ve started last weekend. MARKETING MAYORS BY 18


Public Enemy vs Why So Serious? (+14) -  WSS gets “Toppered” as they have a hell of a double header this week. Public Enemy has to be mad and ashamed after losing last week, they tend to not enjoy that very much. All that means is that they’re going to come out extremely focused this week, which means no catching them sleeping. And Chris Cole sleeps A LOT nowadays. That’s what happens after you turn 50. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 17

Eyes Downtown vs Tight Ends In Motion (+11) – There’s going to be quite a few starters from both sides missing this one, but ED just has the better healthier horses. Watch them run. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 12


Marketing Mayors vs Gryffindor (+10) – I mean, we *just* watched MM demolish Gryffindor by 34 points. I can’t imagine a world where that changes much after a week. MARKETING MAYORS BY 27





Last Week’s Scores:

SITE 45, Morning Wood 23

Dilf’s 43, Peachy Platoon 19

Dilf’s 35, SITE 22

HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO 48, Peachy Platoon 8

Bullet Club 38, Sticky Bandits 35

Jabronies 35, Morning Wood 24

Sticky Bandits 39, Jabronies 28



The Dilf’s are either really peaking at the right time, or they’re just having great scheduling luck playing teams without their starting QBs. Granted, having Dubey actually show up is a HUGE win for them, but the truth is that it’s a little of both. The Dilf’s are a good team, for sure, and there’s a good chance they go 2-0 regardless, but it would mean a bit more if they did something like, I don’t know, beat Peachy with Dean and SITE with Newman. Morning Wood went 0-2 and their story remains the same: They can score a bit, but they don’t know how to stop anyone. It’s not a surprise that the same weekend Topper’s sponsor, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO finally opens, they remember how football works. Okay, word is that Val Bernal singlehandedly dragged Topper’s carcass to a win, but I don’t think he minds at all. Bullet Club notched their second last play victory of the season, this time against Sticky Bandits in what was a very, very good game. That’s playoff level good. Here’s hoping they do that again, and soon. Sticky would get a bit of revenge on the Jabronies later on, so they could go home moderately sober and moderately happy.


This Week’s Games:


Jabronies vs Bullet Club (+7) -  This should be a game very similar to last week’s Sticky/BC game. The Jabronies have been very good, but they were exposed a bit by a Sticky team that just lost to BC. The point is, both of these teams run variations of the Bakrol offense, (Dave Baker + Jeff Krol, for those who don’t know), and unfortunately for the Jabronies, Bullet Club just got more than enough practice in defending it last week. Will it help? I have no idea. These D2 games are always so close. JABRONIES BY 3 ON THE LAST PLAY OF THE GAME


Dilf’s vs HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO (+16) – It turns out that Val can’t play for Topper here, which puts him in a bind. It’ll be interesting to see which HB shows up for this battle. The one that finally looked like they did last season, or the ones that look, well, like a bunch of old people and Drew. Can you ‘win one for the gipper’ if most of your team IS the gipper? That’s something. DILFS BY 22


Morning Wood vs Peachy Platoon (EVEN) -  It turns out that not only was Peachy missing Dean last week, they were also missing half their guys, including Josh, who kindly informed me that while Dean gets the athletic credit, he’s the brains behind the operations, calling the plays and whatnot. He was also absent last week, which lead to lot of issues for the team. But, Josh is back for this one, and he gets to call some plays against a Morning Wood team that doesn’t know how to stop them. The only problem is that Peachy sorely lacks a QB. MORNING WOOD BY 7


Sticky Bandits vs Slytherin That End Zone (+1) – Last week I asked Gary to show me something, and all was showed was this was a .500 team performing well. Granted, they had QB issues, but I heard that the Newman replacement wasn’t half bad! Anyway, this is another great game waiting to happen in this division. While Sticky was happy to walk away with a win over the Jabronies, the Bullet Club loss is more than likely still sticking with them. A win over SITE will more than fix that. SITE meanwhile needs to continue to have a chip on their shoulder, they play much better when they think everyone doubts them than when they actually are favorites. Here’s another chip: STICKY BANDITS BY 3


Slytherin That End Zone vs Peachy Platoon (+4) – So, how can things go from bad to worse for SITE this week? Well, here’s something: DEAN THOMPSON IS SCHEDULED TO PLAY FOR PEACHY IN THIS GAME. Now, does that mean SITE is boned? Goodness no. These two teams have had some epic battles, but SITE doesn’t get the “walk in the park Peachy” that others have benefitted from this season. I can’t imagine a world where the Platoon doesn’t rally around its fearless leader, and as a result: PEACHY PLATOON BY 6




Last Week’s Scores:

Vaspian 26, Grey Hair 14

The Angels 41, The Untouchaballs 31 (D3/D4 Crossover Game)


VASPIAN WINS! VASPIAN WINS! WOOOOOOO! That’s the only story that matters coming out of last week in D3. Yep. That’s it. I’m not even close to sure what happened to Grey Hair this weekend, but it’s GREAT to see Vaspian finally get the W. The Untouchaballs learned what it’s like to lose the Angels, but they can hold their heads high when you consider that everyone loses to the Angels.


This Week’s Games:


All We Do Is Quinn vs Vaspian (+15) – While the euphoria of a win got Vaspian through the week, the cold truth is that reality is coming for them in the form of AWDIQ. No matter how many inspiring “look at our progress!” texts were in the Vaspian team chat this week, Quinn is hungry after sitting out last week. This might not be pretty. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 24


Frodo Swaggins vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+7) – I have to assume that whatever happened to GHDC last weekend was an anomaly. With that in mind, it’s not going to matter. I still feel like Scotty and Garrett have yet to get their team rolling how they’d want it to. They’ve only played 4 games so far, so they have time to figure it out, assuming they get their games in. But even still, they’re the better team. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 4


Scared Hitless vs En Fuego (EVEN) -  This should be an excellent game. I feel like these teams, at their best, can be evenly matched. The truth is, of course, that Hitless is playing better AND they have Jonny Football AND they have cool new jerseys. BUT, how do you compete with new jerseys? That’s right. Jorts. En Fuego almost blessed us with their alternate uniforms last weekend before they didn’t end up playing which means that its time to bring them out again. I don’t think they can lose in the jorts. So, EN FUEGO BY 7 WITH JORTS, SCARED HITLESS BY 10 WITHOUT JORTS.


D3/D4 Crossover Game:


The Untouchaballs vs  Freeballers (+22) – The Untouchaballs get the rare double crossover this season, because of this week it’s based on standings for reasons I don’t think I understand. It’ll be a completely different experience for them as they go from the class of the division to whatever the Freeballers are. The Untouchaballs can score. The Freeballers can not. UNTOUCHABALLS BY 22.



Last Week’s Games:

Buffalo Solar Solutions 42, Overcompensators 20

Uncle Rico’s 53, Cunning Stunts 44


Not a ton of action in D4 last week, but we got one hell of a game out of Uncle Rico’s and the Stunts, as we always seem to do. D4 is a 4 headed monster in my opinion, and I think any one of BSS, Angels, URTT, and the Stunts can win it. I do, however, owe the OC a retraction of sorts. It seems I was given the wrong score last week and the OC beat the Stunts! I’M VERY VERY SORRY ERIC THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME. I hope that suffices.


This Week’s Games:


Buffalo Solar Solutions vs Family Feud And Some Dudes (+13) – Buffalo Solar, you’re rolling and you know it. All it took was the craziest year in the world’s history for you guys to be the true class of the division. That means you’re not going to blow it, right? RIGHT? Honestly though, you can’t blow it because the division is so close. Family Feud deserves some credit here too. As much as I’d love to give it, YOU DON’T WANT TO EMAIL ME AND TELL ME WHO YOU ARE. But sadly, defense is much harder to figure out in these leagues, and FF running into BSS at the wrong moment (Seriously, when I see BSS I just imagine the NBA Jam guy saying “HES ON FIRE!” right now) for that. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 20


The Angels vs Cunning Stunts (+2) – YAAAAASSS QUEENS! I mean, the best rivalry in the TSL (seriously) reunites for another fun go. I’m not sure who’s going to be throwing for The Angels this game (GO GET MATTY) but either way it should be the highlight of everyone’s day. Seriously Topper, put this game on Field 1 for everyone to enjoy from the correct side of the snow fence! CUNNING STUNTS BY 5


Uncle Rico’s vs Over Compensators (+12) – I’m not trying to be mean Eric, really. You want to be the underdog and surprise the TSL? This is the time. But as of right now, it doesn’t feel like the OC can run with Rico’s. While the OC has some talent, it has nothing on Jackee or Chris Nelson. They probably won’t be able to keep up, but I *do* think Larry is a better QB than Timmy. That undoubtedly means Larry is throwing 5 picks or 5 TDs now. Which will it be? UNCLE RICOS BY 3



Last Week’s Games:

ILF 46, Intentional Pounding 32

Zack Attack 37, PTERATACOS 20

Practice Squad 45, TOX 26

Mountain Dew Me 32, Cobblestone 6


Okay Mountain Dew Me, we get it. You should’ve stayed in D4. The McGregor clan is dancing through the streets with the blood of Darryl Carr QB Superstar used as war paint at this point. But, a new challenger approaches! Practice Squad’s troubles were all because of QB issues. But those issues were solved this week in the form of a former GREAT QB that is still a very GOOD QB. That QB is B. That’s right, B’s Brother’s Brother slung the rock for Practice Squad this weekend and word is that he’s signed a very lucrative contract to be the QB for the rest of the season. This changes the game. Zack Attack took a much needed win over the PTERATACOS, who still need to figure out a couple of things. And ILF starts running through the competition, as “Baby Baker” is continuing to make a name for himself.


This Week’s Games:


Mountain Dew Me vs Practice Squad (+15) – Nope. I don’t believe it. 15 points? You’re NUTS TSLQBPRC, simply nuts. PRACTICE SQUAD HAS B NOW. THIS MATTERS. WHY? BECAUSE WHETHER THEY KNOW IT OR NOT, THEY ALSO SIGNED B’S BROTHER. HE HAS TO BE COMING TO THE FIELDS. MDM will be way too distracted by his Plug Life facemask that they won’t know how to properly respond in front of such royalty. That’s East Coast Royalty. B throws for 4 TDs, easy. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 7


Zack Attack vs Cobblestone (+2) – Third place in the division is up for grabs here as these two pretty even teams meet this season. Honestly, Zack Attack is showing they have a little more offense, and they have the momentum. As much as Cobblestone is a fan favorite, I don’t think this is their week. ZACK ATTACK BY 9


ILF vs PTERATACOS (+2) – DOUBLE HEADER ALERT. These two teams will get to play each other twice this week, which is always fun. The PTERATACOS have had a great season, but as of late, the Falcons have really started to figure things out. Look for them to shake up the standings a bit after this week, as they take BOTH games from the PTERATACOS as Baby Baker continues his run at D5 Male MVP. ILF BY 7 and ILF by 10.


TOX vs Intentional Pounding (+9) -  The last time this matchup happened, the Keller’s beat up on poor Topper who was still feeling the effects of 45+ years of drinking wine. But not this time. TOX is playing better, and I can’t say the same about IP just yet. Plus, you KNOW Topper wants revenge against Scott Jr, who *might* be playing QB this time around. Look for a Topper pick 6 this time. TOX BY 8




Last Week’s Scores:

PC Plumbing 36, The Bambs 6

Blitzkrieg 38, Tater Tots 24

Graves Bros 40, Lenny’s Ladies 17

TMA 24, The BiPolar Express 16

Graves Bros 49, PC Plumbing 44

Lenny’s Ladies 42, The BiPolar Express 32


WTF IS GOING ON WITH PC PLUMBING? It’s weeks like this where I think we need to institute some sort of testing policy for steroids in the TSL, but in reality, PC Plumbing must’ve gotten their hands on some “Mike’s Secret Stuff” from Space Jam. They scored 80 points in two games after scoring only 122 for the season beforehand. The Bambs must’ve gotten lost on the way to the fields. Graves Bros walked away 2-0 with two big wins for themselves, firmly planting a “GB” flag on top of the D6 mountain. The BiPolar Express had some bad luck with their roster, and as a result find themselves uncharacteristically at the bottom of the D6 standings. And they STILL could win the entire thing. Lenny’s Ladies proceeded to go 1-1, winning the anticipated matchup in the all girls game, but the BPX roster issues didn’t make it as fair at it should’ve been. Blitzkrieg went out and dominated the Tots, proving to themselves that they DO belong in conversation for the championship. Finally, TMA did what they should’ve been doing all along: winning. Great to see them getting their mojo back.


This Week’s Games:


The Bambs vs Blitzkrieg (+2) – Here’s what I’m talking about. The Bambs should be licking their wounds after the unexpected PC Plumbing beat down last weekend. Blitzkrieg is still out to prove that they’re the best in the division. This game is huge on both sides. Even in a division where everyone makes the playoffs, this is still a game that matters a lot to the teams involved. BLITZKRIEG BY 3


Tater Tots vs TMA (+1) – ANOTHER DOUBLE HEADER ALERT! These two teams are going to play each other twice this week. It’ll have a big effect on the D6 standings going forward for sure. There’s a little history with these two teams, and it’ll be interesting to see if anything bubbles to the surface here. That could make the second game a little spicy. I truly think we’re going to see these teams split the games this week. TATER TOTS BY 3, TMA BY 10


The Bambs vs Graves Bros (+2) – This is a championship preview as things currently stand. The Bambs already dismantled Graves Bros once this season, a 34-6 win that gave Graves their only loss this season so far. It’s hard to imagine them losing so soundly again, but now The Bambs have last week’s loss stuck in their mouths. Look for them to make the statement. THE BAMBS BY 8


Blitzkrieg vs Lenny’s Ladies (+4) – The last time these two teams met, it was an epic showdown, with Lenny’s Ladies getting two late scores and two late interceptions to steal a win from Blitzkrieg. There was also a late penalty that negated the Blitzkrieg winning score last time. For Lenny’s Ladies to win this one, they’re going to need more great play from Laura Streeter and Robin Makula, both of whom are just two of the talented girls Joe K and Jeff Krol have put on their roster. These two teams are going to play it back, but you know Blitzkrieg is still seething a little bit after that last loss. Look for them to get a measure of revenge this time around. BLITZKRIEG BY 3


The BiPolar Express vs PC Plumbing (EVEN) – These teams sit at the bottom of the standings, but could very easily be near the top. PC Plumbing remembered this wasn’t a cricket league last weekend, and exploded for a lot of points. BPX didn’t exactly implode, they just ended up on the wrong end of two very close games, which says a lot when you realize they weren’t at full strength, which it seems they never are. I can’t imagine the PC Plumbing we saw last week is the norm after the entire season of uncertainty. THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS BY 4




1. Who’s going to show up? Teams have been all over the place this season with spotty attendance, and its made the league even wackier than usual.




3. Will Topper win again? Honestly, I think we’re looking at a resounding yes. He seems to finally be dialing it in. Look out D2.


4. Who are the biggest pretenders right now in the league? Look no further than Slytherin That End Zone, who can 100% prove me wrong or right this weekend. Grey Hair – Don’t Care is a close second.


5.  Who looks like they’ll be moving divisions come Spring 2021? Mountain Dew Me better get ready to go back to AT LEAST D4. AWDIQ, if they stick together, is D2 bound at this point. I think it’s time we move The Angels and Stunts to D3. Vaspian feels like a D4 squad. The Freeballers may move to D6 at this rate. D5 is a lock, but they might need more work than that. Dilf’s, just go to D1 and stop ducking it. Morning Wood is a D3 team perhaps too. The Untouchaballs are D4 bound as they figure it out. I think that’s enough.




1. Props to the entire league once again for doing what it takes to keep us safe and sound during this weird time. You’re all stars for doing whatever is asked of you. Keep wearing a mask, keep sanitizing your bodies, and keep following the protocols! Stay Safe! (This is about the best I could do here Mr. Salvati.)


2. The weather has finally taken its turn for the worse, and it looks like we’re looking at a 56 degree day with a 20% chance of rain. The Fall playoffs always end up with the weather affecting the outcomes a little bit.


3. I can tell you right now that there’s a little to no chance for a Halloween Costume Bowl this Fall.


4. It’s awesome to see B getting another chance to sling the rock. He’s very underappreciated when it comes to choosing a fill in QB. He’s good. He’s won in this league before. Pay attention people.


5. Teams on the rise: PC Plumbing somehow, Dilfs, Marketing Mayors, ILF


6. Teams on the downswing: Slytherin, Tight Ends In Motion, The BiPolar Express


7. If you have anyone you think is deserving for any end of season awards, you can talk to Topper, Emily Curry should have her notebook like last season (hint hint), or email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . It’s the cool thing to do!


8. A couple of games really jump out to me this week: Jabronies vs Bullet Club, Angels vs Stunts, and Blitzkrieg vs The Bambs. There’s a LOT of good games this week, except in D1, where every game looks like a boring blow out.


9. After watching the Presidential Debate this week, and not to get too political or anything, I want to say that I was right a few weeks ago: Dave Walter for President. B’s Brother, clearly his VP.


10. I want to thank all of you for the emails I’ve been getting, yet again. You’re all the lifeblood of this league and your kind (and sometimes not so kind) words are the best thing in my inbox each week. Thanks again, and if you’d like to reach out to me, please do!



The season is in HIGH gear, and we’re getting closer than ever to the playoffs, the next two weeks will really show us who’s properly prepared for the race for social co-ed football immortality.


Is it you?



Week 9 Picks, Thoughts, and Questions about Saturday

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 09 October 2020 19:59
Published: Friday, 09 October 2020 19:59
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 252


Well, we made it.


It took a lot of hard work by a lot of people, including YOU, the TSL universe, but we got to the last week of the #TSL2020 regular season.


This is the last week of fun before the race for social co-ed football immortality begins yet again. There isn’t a TON on the line this week, as everyone makes the playoffs this season. Yes, some teams will earn a bye week, and perhaps a “higher” seeding means an easier first round matchup, but let’s face it: Seeding doesn’t matter in the TSL. The playoffs are a different animal, and any seed can win. We see upsets all of the time. Just last season, D2 had 3 major contenders for the championship. All of them lost and we got a 5 vs 6 seed matchup. Cobblestone beat a highly touted En Fuego team in a result that nobody saw coming. (We’ll ignore what happened afterwards) The #1 seed tends to not win the division championship more often than you’d think. Just ask All We Do Is Quinn.


So, what does this week bring us? Fun. Family. Togetherness.


Next weekend, and the Championship Weekend after? Those weeks are for being blood thirsty co-ed football superstars on the field. Go for the gold, and all of that.


But let’s take this week to celebrate this season. Let’s have fun out there, and just enjoy playing football together. The results don’t completely matter. Let’s not scream at the refs, or blame each other for a dropped pass. Let’s not fight about things that just truly, do not matter in the grand scheme of things. Let’s just be the football family we all love to be this weekend.


And don’t forget, Topper worked his ass off harder than he ever did before this season so that ALL of you could have fun. So, let’s have a party this weekend, and celebrate the fact that we even got to play any football at all. Don’t let Topper pay for a drink. Give him a beer, a shot, a phone number, anything. He deserves it. I know for a fact I speak for everyone when I say this:


Thank you, Topper.


You’re the best, my friend.


With that, let’s talk about some games and all that jazz. As always, the lines are given to me by the TSLQBPRC. . . go yell at them.



Last Week’s Games:

Why So Serious? 31, Eyes Downtown 22

Tight Ends In Motion 29, Marketing Mayors 28

Public Enemy 49, Why So Serious? 48

Tight Ends In Motion 47, Eyes Downtown 30


Well, that was a hell of a week for the D1 standings. Just when it seems that D1 is pretty obviously a 3 horse race, Why So Serious? AND TEIM go on out and get themselves a QB. All of a sudden, Pete is catching TDs instead of throwing passes that end up dropped, and Tight Ends is playing like they always felt they should’ve been! Eyes Downtown loses twice, but everyone knows they weren’t at full strength. Public Enemy had to squeak by WSS though, and perhaps they’re not as dominant as once thought? In the blink of an eye, D1 has a lot of mystery and intrigue in it.


This Week’s Games:


Marketing Mayors vs Gryffindor (+5) – The Mayors ended up casually losing to TEIM, but I’m sure that they won’t suffer the same fate here, right? Right? The whispers of perhaps the Mayors having an overrated QB who just luckily has All-Galaxy player Andy Smith on the team are growing louder by the week. Look for them to silence them, for now. MARKETING MAYORS BY 12


Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown (+2) – It’s on, maybe. Yes, this should be a celebrated marquee game but every time I hype it up, it’s been cancelled for one reason or another. I can’t do much more hyping here. These are the two best teams in the league when they want to be, but the murderous blood feud it used to be just doesn’t feel like it’s there anymore. Expect a nice, quiet game where everyone holds hands in a circle afterwards. Once these teams meet in the playoffs, that’s when we’ll get back to crack back blocking, elbows to the ribs, and Boccio pulling on everyone’s jerseys. Then, it’ll be ON. But for now? PUBLIC ENEMY BY 1, I GUESS.


Gryffindor vs Why So Serious? (+4) – Why So Serious had a hell of a week. If you would’ve bet me a million dollars last week that they’d beat ED and then only lose to PE by 1 (and could’ve won the game if Kedron didn’t lose the battle versus math), id have taken that wager twice. So what happened? Well, they got themselves a QB, which means they gain Pete as a WR. “Q” is apparently an up and coming star in the league, and I was just notified they have Beth Zygmunt too! Things seem to be trending up for WSS and I’m a fan of it. As for Gryffindor, it just feels like Joey Batts has been too quiet this season. Is he okay? WHY SO SERIOUS BY 3


Marketing Mayors vs Tight Ends In Motion (+1) – I think it’s crazy that TEIM is getting the point after they just beat the Mayors, but the truth is MM is just better on paper. Now they have a reason to be a little inspired. Here’s hoping these two meet in the playoffs. MARKETING MAYORS BY 2


Tight Ends In Motion vs Why So Serious? (+7) – Both of these teams are playing good football right now, after horrendous starts to the season. New QB’s will do that for a team. It’ll be fun to see which team gels with their new guy faster. Hint: It’s Tight End. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 10





Last Week’s Games:

Jabronies 44, Bullet Club 18


Morning Wood 50, Peachy Platoon 29

Sticky Bandits 33, Slytherin That End Zone 30

Slytherin That End Zone 48, Peachy Platoon 42


For those that were downplaying the loss of Dean for Peachy Platoon, look no further than this week right here. Without Dean, they lose by 21 points to Morning Wood, who is playing much better then people realize. With Dean, yes, they lost on a last second TD to SITE in what was apparently a crazy entertaining game the entire time. Lots of scoring in the final few minutes of the second half. D2 is great because anyone can win it, but the Dilfs look like they’re going to defend their title. They came out and stomped on Team Topper, and just have the entire division on notice. Jabronies came out and did some stomping of their own on Bullet Club, as they just continued to hit long bomb after long bomb. Ben Stack was doing some work out there. Sticky continues to play close games, and they pulled out a big win against SITE.


This Week’s Games:

Dilfs vs Sticky Bandits (+5) – The top contender for the Dilfs’ throne shows up this week, and I’m hearing they’ve even put a bet on this game! That’s spectacular. Anyway, the Dilfs are clearly a better team when Dubey shows up, which isn’t a surprise. Apparently, he’s been showing up a lot more than usual this season too. Sticky Nation always shows up. They run like 13 people deep, but it works for them. Mike Thomas is quietly becoming a star, and a big showing here could really get him the league publicity he probably doesn’t want. DILFS BY 3


Jabronies vs Slytherin That End Zone (+4) – SITE has looked a little off without Taylor Pagano the last few games, but I believe she’s due to return for this contest. Jabronies have been on cruise control a little bit, which isn’t a bad thing. They’re talented up and down the roster, and there isn’t a team they can’t beat in the division. I really do think SITE wants this one a bit more. They’ve fallen off a smidge, and if not for a miracle win last week, they’d be in some trouble. Take the over in this game. JABRONIES BY 3


Morning Wood vs Bullet Club (+3) – Double Header alert! These two teams are pretty evenly matched, even if neither one realizes it. They’ve had some great games in the past, and these two games should be no different, if both teams show up. Bullet Club got Joe K back from injury, but they ended up losing their best player in Zach Newberry. That’s not exactly an even trade. Morning Wood seems to be rolling a bit right now, while Bullet Club seems to be going through their usual roster issues. MORNING WOOD BY 10 BOTH GAMES


HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO vs Peachy Platoon (+9) – HB and the Platoon look to battle yet again. The truth is that Peachy just isn’t the same without Dean. While they have talent, and more than likely have the best group of 4 females on any roster in the league, we’ve seen what a subpar QB can do to them. HB knows all about having a subpar QB, however, and they’ve built their offense around that. They’re looking to keep the season going in the right direction. HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO BY 3




Last Week’s Games:

Vaspian 22, All We Do Is Quinn 20

Frodo Swaggins 16, Grey Hair Don’t Care 13

Scared Hitless 44, En Fuego 30


Is there anyone playing better than Scared Hitless right now? It’s probably just the pocket on the new jerseys, but something has gotten them going. They were ripping En Fuego apart before letting them get closer in garbage time. They’ve finally realized to use their talented girls as much as possible, and QB Dylan gets better each week. Grey Hair, meanwhile, seems to get worse each week, scoring only 13 points. Of course, they only held Frodo to 16, so that’s saying something. Finally, you read that right. Vaspian got a big win over AWDIQ. If Quinn learned anything this past week, it’s to take Vince, wrap in him in bubble wrap, and have him stay home until the playoffs. Things do NOT look good for this team if he can’t play.


This Week’s Games:


Vaspian vs The Untouchaballs (+3) – It’s really cool to see Vaspian get a win against Quinn, but let’s be real, they did it against a person who rarely ever plays QB. Things really went right for them in that one. The Untouchaballs still can’t play defense, but this group can SCORE. If Untouchaballs figure out how defense works even a TINY bit, they’ll take this one. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 7


Frodo Swaggins vs En Fuego (+11) – I find it so hard to believe that a team with Scotty Dro at QB could only muster 16 points last week. I can only assume then that he wasn’t there, the refs couldn’t do proper math OR they wrote “16” instead of “61”, or his team let him down. It HAS to be that he wasn’t there, right? Anyway, Frodo gets a few “gimme” games to end the season on to prep for playoffs. They’ve been cruising through the season for the most part, and while En Fuego will give them some fight, they’ll eventually fight each other and it’ll be a wrap. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 17


Frodo Swaggins vs The Untouchaballs (+11) – The Untouchaballs can score, we know, but maybe not against Frodo. Scotty is going to have a field day. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 20


Scared Hitless vs Vaspian (+4) – I’m sorry, but four points is a bit disrespectful for Scared Hitless. This line should be much higher. They hold an advantage over Vaspian in just about every facet of the game. That’s not meant to be a slight, it’s just what it is right now. SCARED HITLESS BY 13


D3/D4 Crossover Game:


All We Do Is Quinn vs Buffalo Solar Solutions (+7) – Talk about your bad luck for BSS. Random schedule luck propelled them into not only a second crossover game, but a second one with AWDIQ. Absolutely fun fact here: BSS went 6-0 in D4, but could potentially go 0-2 against Quinn and they’ll miss out on the bye (barring them winning this game, OR The Angels losing to the Freeballers, which I mean, come on.) because of it. What bad luck! Then again, a game against the Freeballers is essentially a bye anyway. I know that BSS is going to be missing quite a few players this week, so it doesn’t look good for them in this one. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 15




Last Week’s Games:

Buffalo Solar Solutions 46, Family Feud And Some Dudes 32

The Angels 53, Cunning Stunts 35

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers 46, Over Compensators 40


BSS moves to 6-0 in D4 with a win over FF. Meanwhile, even in a loss to Uncle Ricos, the OC showed they can compete with anyone in the division. They called their shot, and while they didn’t win, they showed that they can’t be overlooked! Finally, The Angels beat up on the Stunts, which is a shame. This is another rivalry that just doesn’t quite have the same juice it normally does. Of course, it’s much better when we have fans allowed too.


This Week’s Games:


The Angels vs Freeballers (+13) – The TSL’s version of the Tennessee Titans come back after a long layoff, and their reward is getting to play The Angels, who are humming along at the moment. This isn’t exactly what the Freeballers would want to see on their return. It’ll be interesting to see how they fair after having the time off. It doesn’t seem promising. THE ANGELS BY 24


Uncle Rico’s vs Family Feud (+14) – The scouting reports on FF are finally coming in and they’re pretty much what you figured. They’re a good offensive team who really know their X’s and O’s according to one scout. The problem they have is a non-existent defense that forces the offense to have to be perfect. Not having a good defense isn’t the best way to play Uncle Rico’s, who can easily have one of the most explosive offenses in the league, and a game like this is perfect for them. UNCLE RICOS BY 17


Cunning Stunts vs Over Compensators (+6) – The OC is getting 6 points in a matchup they’ve already won in the past. They’re starting to come on a bit, while something just feels off with the Stunts still. It’s weird to see them sitting at 2-5, much less giving up 314 points so far. This is a matchup that can favor the OC for sure. I’ll take the points on top of it. OVER COMPENSATORS BY 8




Last Week’s Games:

Practice Squad 26, Intentional Pounding 6

Cobblestone 28, Zack Attack 15

ILF 39, Pteratacos 26

TOX 36, Intentional Pounding 23

Pteratacos 43, ILF 10


What a weird double header from ILF and Pteratacos. First, ILF wins by 13, only to lose by 33 later on in the day? Very random. Darryl continues his magic as Cobblestone wins again, taking out Zack Attack. Topper lead TOX to a measure of revenge against Intentional Pounding, who had a rough week as they also drew having to play B and Practice Squad. PS looked good again, casually walking to a victory.


This Week’s Games:


Cobblestone vs TOX (+3) – Two league legends square off in the QB battle of the century. There had BETTER be some sort of Topper vs Darryl bucket bet going on here. TOX are finally starting to figure it out as they grow together as a team, but Cobblestone is just on a roll. We can only hope for a Darryl vs B playoff game. COBBLESTONE BY 10


Practice Squad vs TOX (+12) – it doesn’t get any easier for TOX as they get to take on the rejuvenated Practice Squad with B at the helm. This is the sort of veteran leadership that this team needed to jump to the next level. Now lets hope they continue improving, because a date with Mountain Dew Me looms in the distance. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 17


Pteratacos vs Zack Attack (EVEN) -  This one will come down to who blinks first. These are two very evenly matched teams as one is 3-4, and the other is 3-4-1. One had a -8 point differential, the other -10. Like I said, its close. Look for Zack Attack to finally get their offense going in this one. ZACK ATTACK BY 4


Cobblestone vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+3) – Honestly, it feels like both teams are playing very good football for themselves right now. The only problem for ILF is that Cobblestone’s brand of good football is a bit of a higher ceiling than theirs. COBBLESTONE BY 8


Practice Squad vs Zack Attack (+8) – Nothing trends towards this game going in Zack Attack’s favor. Their low scoring offense is going to be in trouble against PS’s Defense. And, well, their defense probably won’t be able to stop Practice Squad often enough to keep them in this one. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 12


Mountain Dew Me vs Intentional Pounding (+39) – Yes, you read that right. A 39 point spread might be the largest in this article’s history (okay, I may have given some teams infinity in the past and still picked them to lose, but still). This is just a mismatch across the board, and it isn’t fair. Honestly, I feel like all this does is give MDM something to shoot for. Somehow, I think they’ll actually do it. I’m sorry Kellers, I love you. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 40.




Last Week’s Games:

The Bambs 38, Blitzkrieg 24

Tater Tots 15, TMA 14

Graves Bros 46, The Bambs 32

Tater Tots 12, TMA 12

Blitzkrieg 48, Lenny’s Ladies 32

PC Plumbing 44, The BiPolar Express 18


The Tots and TMA had one hell of a double header this weekend, with a 1 point win for the Tots followed by a tie. These two teams couldn’t be any closer, although it appears that the Tots didn’t even use their starting QB for either game, which is good for them and bad sign for TMA. The Bambs showed everyone that last week was a fluke, going out and beating Blitzkrieg rather easily before dropping a big game against Graves Bros that was for first place in the division. Blitzkrieg would go on to get a measure of revenge against Lenny’s Ladies, where a ton of interceptions did the girls in. Lastly, PC Plumbing continues the up and down season as they walk all over BPX.


This Week’s Games:


The Bambs vs PC Plumbing (+2) – Two weeks ago this looked like a joke of a matchup, but PC Plumbing has just ramped it up recently. I guess they finally got their roster to start showing up, and it’s doing wonders for them, who knew? The Bambs are still one of the favorites to win D6, regardless of how badly they lost last week. This game is going to be much better than it looks on paper for sure. PC PLUMBING BY 3


Graves Bros vs The BiPolar Express (+4) – Graves Bros have asserted themselves as the D6 favorites. The division is very wide open though, which ultimately means anyone can beat anyone. BiPolar just hasn’t had the season they expected, as they’ve regressed a little bit this year. Roster issues haven’t been kind to them this year, so it’s hard to judge them when they aren’t playing with a full team. When the whole team is there, they can beat anyone. I’m just not sure this is the week to get that going. GRAVES BROS BY 11


Tater Tots vs Lenny’s Ladies (+2) – The Tots discovered “throw it to the tall guy” the last time these two teams met, and I’m sure we’ll see more of the same here this week. Lenny’s Ladies has looked good for their first season, in spite of Jeff Easton throwing 5 INTs last game. Once they learn how to play defense a little bit more, they’ll be really good. TATER TOTS BY 9


TMA vs Blitzkrieg (EVEN) – I know I said this is supposed to be a fun week for everyone, but this game is a must win for both sides. A win could potentially vault them into 2nd place for the playoffs, while a loss could have them slip and play a much harder first round opponent. On top of those things, this is a game where Blitzkreig can be remembered. TMA is a TSL staple, and beating them can really open some eyes to the league. Allie on BK is becoming a breakout star, multiple people emailed me to tell me about her performance last weekend. TMA’s defense is fantastic. But the offense is holding them down. If QB Ryan figures out how to use his players properly, look out. There’s no way a team with Ron Webber, Val Testa, Brian Ferger, and Drunk Meg’s Brother should be averaging less than 22 points a game. This one will be interesting to see who wants it more. BLITZKRIEG BY 7





1.      Can we keep this fantastic weather through the playoffs? As of right now, it’s going to be a gorgeous Saturday. Grab your sunscreen and your good vibes!


2.      Will Public Enemy and Eyes Downtown actually play? Here’s hoping so, and here’s hoping its more blood feud than friendly game.



3.      Who’s winning the most recent TSL “divorces”? Well, I think I’d rather be on Scared Hitless than Grey Hair currently, for sure. And to be honest, even though Intentional Pounding is a 39 point underdog this weekend, I’d still rather be on them than a part of that Freeballers mess.


4.      Can my team get a specific referee to never ref our games? No, stop asking. Regardless of what some of you may think, none of our refs are “out to get you”. And yes, there are multiple people across every division that think this weekly.



5.      Would we ever be able to have a gender team only division? That’s a fun question I got this week. I don’t think the math works out however. Unless we played only those games from that division at the same time, too often would a team have a shortened roster and it could be a mess. We have room for maybe one or two more gender teams, so who knows? But right now, I don’t think so. Plus, it’s always better when the girls beat up on the guys who underestimate them.




1.      Fun, fun, fun. Seriously, just go have a great time and enjoy this league this weekend.


2.      Topper is currently unsure if there will be a banquet or not. A lot of things have to fall in place for it to be so.


3.      Teams on the rise: PC Plumbing, ILF, Morning Wood, Tight Ends In Motion, Why So Serious?


4.      Teams on the downswing: Bullet Club, Cunning Stunts, Grey Hair, Lenny’s Ladies, Zack Attack


5.      Best games of the week: TMA vs Blitzkrieg, En Fuego vs Grey Hair, Cunning Stunts vs Over Compensators, Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown (probably)


6.      Shout Out to everyone that’s still following the rules every week, signing in, and leaving out of the correct exit. Double shout out to the TSL Field Crew for helping things run so smoothly!


7.      Keep your teams’ submissions for award nominations coming to Emily Curry. I’ve heard she’s gotten some good ones so far, and the more we hear from you the better!


8.      Don’t like something I’m saying or not saying? Seriously, do what everyone else does and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..


9.      More than a few people have requested that Travis not be in charge of the music anymore. Perhaps we should get a DJ, or at least a playlist people can add to? It’d have to be monitored of course. Just an idea.


10.   It’s times like these that I really miss Rameer and Lenny. The week before playoffs happen, just as it’s the calm before the storm. By this point in the season, Lenny would be telling me how he’s going to retire and probably never come back while the vein in Rameer’s forehead would be at maximum size. But at the same time? They’d both be smiling and enjoying the league they loved. How I wish I could have another phone call with either of them to talk about what’s going on there in Buffalo.



Enjoy yourselves this weekend, and take care of Topper. Next week, the real games begin.




Week 7 Thoughts, Picks & Stuff

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 25 September 2020 12:22
Published: Friday, 25 September 2020 12:22
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 267




Hello! In this, the Year of Our Lord 2020, I hope you find yourselves well.


After this article went to press last week, I received an email from none other than JONNY F’N FOOTBALL! I haven’t heard from him in what feels like forever! And naturally, he did what he does best, and guaranteed not only a victory over the Freeballers last week, but by 27 or more points.


Historically, his guarantees and bets never go well for him. But this time? My oh my was our guy right here. Scared Hitless obliterated Freeballers 52-0. I was wrong to even suggest this team could sniff a win against a D3 squad.


I’m truly sorry Jonny Football. That was my mistake. It won’t happen again. (It’ll happen again.)


And that’s the fun of the TSL. Just when you think you have the answers, we change the questions. Teams are starting to round into who they really are this time around. With only a few weeks left in the season, some teams just need to go back to the drawing board. Others can stay on cruise control as they coast into the playoffs like the well-oiled machine they already are. It’s not too late to reinvent yourself! With everyone making the playoffs here, NOW is the time for the teams that just aren’t quite right to make the big adjustments that maybe they were scared to. Give a new QB a try, figure out some new plays. Why not?


You don’t lose anything by trying, except maybe getting a lower seed. But as long as you’ve got a guaranteed ticket to the dance, which you do, you can experiment just like you did in your college days.


There’s a lot of games to discuss, so lets get to it!


D1/D2 Crossover Week Scores:

Public Enemy 28, SITE 14

Morning Wood 18, Why So Serious? 16

Eyes Downtown 29, Jabronies 28

Gryffindor 52, Sticky Bandits 45

Dilf’s 21, Marketing Mayors 0

Tight Ends In Motion 58, Bullet Club 20



So after all of the talk of the Dilf’s being concerned they weren’t good enough for D1, they go out and win 21-0? Okay, sure, it took Marketing Mayors to forfeit for it to happen, but still. Props to Morning Wood for being the only D2 team to actually win their crossover game. But, let’s talk about how interesting it is that most of the games were really close! Other than Bullet Club getting smacked around by TEIM, all of the D2 teams performed quite well. Yeah, SITE lost by 14 to Public Enemy, but that is still a pretty good score, and I heard that the game was closer that it showed. Eyes Downtown may not have had Bobby, but Jabronies only losing by 1 is still impressive. Gryffindor and Sticky had a barnburner, where defense wasn’t allowed. The record will show that D1 went 4-2 this week against D2, but D2 can claim moral victories left and right. Perhaps the divisions aren’t as far apart as we think.


D1 Games This Week:


Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown (+2) – OH ITS ON. But, for real this time. The makeup game of all makeup games, the two best teams in the TSL go head to head as they renew their rivalry yet again. There’s some new faces to the party, but the story remains the same: These two teams don’t like each other. The TSL’s top 2 QBs are facing off, assuming Bobby doesn’t blow this game off. (He won’t). First place is on the line, but really so is pride. As for the game itself? I think Public Enemy is rolling a bit more than ED. The signs point to a PE win. So that must mean: EYES DOWNTOWN BY 3


Public Enemy vs Marketing Mayors (+11) – 11 should normally be a lot, but with the Mayors’ inability to field a full team, if they field one at all this season, it knocks them down a peg. PE will be emotionally spent whether they win or lose the game before, so they won’t be AS sharp here. But they’ll still win. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 6


Tight Ends In Motion vs Gryffindor (+1) – You have to like these matchups. Both teams are playing well as they meet each other here. Batts has his new and improved Gryffindor team humming along pretty well right now. TEIM got a much needed “feel good” win in destroying Bullet Club last week. This game gives the winner the inside track to the #3 seed in the playoffs, and the reward is playing the probably #6 seed in Why So Serious, as opposed to a date with Marketing Mayors. This should be a good one, but let’s look for GRYFFINDOR BY 6


Eyes Downtown vs Why So Serious? (+14) – Another learning experience for WSS. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 20




Last Week’s Game:

Peachy Platoon 30, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO 17


In the only “proper” D2 matchup this weekend, Peachy overtook Team Topper, knocking them to 0-5 as the Platoon tries out another QB in the scramble to replace Dean.


This Week’s Games:


Dilf’s vs Peachy Platoon (+2) – I love Peachy Platoon and I think it’s a shame they have to deal with this QB issue. It immediately sets them back, but they’re clearly taking my advice from above and they’re fixing this before playoffs. The Dilf’s feel like they’re humming along still. They’re only 3-2 but it feels like the defending champs could be 5-0. They just about always have the best girl on the field with Katie Keller, and they ALWAYS have the most handsome man on the field with Eric Stegs. These intangibles matter people. You can’t catch a football when you’re lost in his eyes. DILFS BY 8


Slytherin That End Zone vs Morning Wood (+4) – Okay, first off, I saw The Sentinel use “STEZ” as the SITE acronym. I get that that is 100% technically accurate but let’s get two things straight. First, I make the rules here. I have since 2010. Secondly, SITE looks 4,643 times better than STEZ. Fix that. Anyway, SITE has been the class of D2 so far, and a loss to Public Enemy doesn’t change that. But, others have said they’re getting lucky. Which is it? A little of both. You can see that SITE struggles to put points on the board, but they’re playing great defense to make up for it. They’ve also had a soft schedule. No, playing Morning Wood doesn’t change that. Things are going to get harder for them as the season goes on. Morning Wood took a 2 point win over the “D4 team that’s playing in D1” last week. This is a prove it week for SITE, and I want to see them win by double digits. Show me something Gary. SITE BY 12


Dilfs vs SITE (+1) – Seriously Gary, show me something. DILFS BY 9


Peachy Platoon vs HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO (+9) – I mean, Peachy JUST won by 13 last week. I’ll look for history to repeat itself as HB just can’t figure it out yet….or Father Time has finally won. PEACHY PLATOON BY 13


Sticky Bandits vs Bullet Club (+5) – A tale of teams going in two different directions. Bullet Club was the only team that was embarrassed in their crossover game, as TEIM just dismantled them. That’s what happens when you have your 3rd QB in 4 weeks (this week it was a semi-drunk “birthday” edition of Travis Clev). At some point they’re going to have to decide on a full time QB. This story of “Bullet Club QB troubles” has to be getting old for the players too. Sticky doesn’t have that problem since they roll about 17 players deep. Mike Thomas has been fantastic, and Jeff Krol has Sticky Nation focused on the D2 championship. They’re playing very good football, and I think they know it. Look for that to continue here. STICKY BANDITS BY 14


Jabronies vs Morning Wood (+4) – Morning Wood isn’t playing too bad, but the Jabronies are simply on fire. A 1-point loss to Eyes Downtown (regardless of Bobby) is nothing to sneeze at. It shouldn’t come as a surprise though. Jabronies have former D1 caliber players in Ben Stack and Eric Kleckler, which has tended to go a little unnoticed here. This roster is much better than whatever Joe Miano trotted out in D6. JABRONIES BY 9


Jabronies vs Sticky Bandits (+2) – This should be “even” for a line. But somehow, the TSLQBPRC thought that “make me the lines with data and stuff” meant that THEY get to pick games too. Stick to your spreadsheets. Anyway, these two teams definitely love playing each other, as I’m pretty sure they’re all friends and family or whatever. Hopefully they’ll have a fun bet this game too, but the losers will actually commit to the bet this time around. JABRONIES BY 1




Last Week’s Scores:


All We Do Is Quinn 42, Grey Hair Don’t Care 21

All We Do Is Quinn 32, The Untouchaballs 28

Frodo Swaggins 30, Grey Hair Don’t Care 24

En Fuego 29, Over Compensators 12 (D3/D4 Crossover)

Scared Hitless 52, Freeballers 0 (D3/D4 Crossover)


Well, the Top 3 teams in the conference played each other, and it showed us pretty much what we already knew: Quinn and Frodo are the Top Dogs of D3. Grey Hair Don’t Care is a great story, and they’re a good team that is a tough out, but they had games against the two favorites and couldn’t pull out a win in either contest. The Untouchaballs don’t really win a lot, but at the same time they’re always SO CLOSE to popping off a win here and there. They’re 1-4 and could very easily be 3-2 or 4-1. And in the Crossovers, En Fuego easily won their highly anticipated match with the OC, while Scared Hitless smacked Freeballers into realizing they’re headed for D5 next season.


This Week’s Games:


Frodo Swaggins vs En Fuego (+10) – Team LaDuca comes into this pretty huge matchup with some momentum after vanquishing their rivals in the OC. This is the litmus test for these guys. If they can beat Frodo, it’ll give them their swagger back, which they so desperately miss. Honestly? They need to have some fun, and keep things loose. Considering both teams wear black, En Fuego should wear their alternate jerseys of white shirts and jorts. Bring back the fun. Garrett and Scotty know they’re missing Josh a bunch this season, but apparently when you get a girl pregnant, that means you can’t play football anymore, so they’re down a man. But like, congrats I guess. Frodo takes this one, but barely. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 6


All We Do Is Quinn vs Scared Hitless (+5) – Well, here you go Jonny Football. You want to run your mouth about smacking around a helpless D4 team that should be in D7, so now you’re getting the kings of the division. The Cat Peters (and her boyfriend that couldn’t make the AWDIQ roster so he made her leave the team) Bowl is on, and it should be a lot of fun. If Quinn has a disadvantage this game, its on the female side. Kasey is pretty good (she’s still recovering from Scotty’s advances), but the truth is that Scared Hitless boasts one of the best girls you don’t know about in Jaimie Warren, and Carly is no slouch either. But Quinn has much better guys and the more established QB. QB Dylan for Hitless is still figuring things out, and this team will continue to live or die with him. Hopefully last week’s scrimmage against the 6th graders will give him the confidence needed to take this one. Spoiler alert: It won’t. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 12


Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Vaspian (+9) -  The only good part about getting to play Frodo and Quinn in one week is that you get those games out of the way all at once. Grey Hair looks to get back on track against Vaspian, who still remain winless. It appears Drew is the problem, as he’s winless on the entire season for all of his teams. I don’t know why he’s cursed, but here we are. QB Dave from Grey Hair knows what he needs his team to work on to win the D3 title now, and they’re going to start practicing it here. GREY HAIR DON’T CARE BY 13


D3/D4 Crossover Game:


The Angels vs The Untouchaballs (+4) – This is sneakily a great matchup. The Angels are fantastic, we know that. And yes, they *should* be in D3 (and if Matty Ice stuck around, they would be). The TSL’s best gender team has beaten up on hot shot teams time and again and they get an interesting matchup with The Untouchaballs. I still have no idea who anyone is on this team, but they still put up a ton of points. They just still allow a ton as well. The best pro tip I can give them is the same as always: try your best for female touchdowns or else The Angels will walk away from you. Look for a closer than you think matchup here: THE ANGELS BY 6




Last Week’s Games:

Cunning Stunts 37, Freeballers 21

Buffalo Solar Solutions 44, Uncle Rico’s 28

Cunning Stunts 53, Over Compensators 42

Uncle Rico’s 44, Family Feud and Some Dudes 30

Buffalo Solar Solutions 40, The Angels 26


Speaking of changing the questions just when you think you have the answers, welcome to D4. Just as The Angels and Uncle Rico’s looked like they were coasting to an eventual D4 title game, the division’s blue teams reminded everyone just who they are. The Cunning Stunts finally looked like themselves this week, taking two wins from teams they absolutely should beat. But what matters is that they actually did it. But, not to be outdone, Buffalo Solar Solutions won both of their games this week against the aforementioned Rico’s and Angels. BSS is sitting at the top of the division after arguably the best weekend in their history. They’re 4-1, and it’s their defense that’s been great as the offense keeps pace with the pack leaders. They’ve cemented themselves as true contenders for the throne, of course last season they had a big week and proceeded to plummet down the standings afterwards. Let’s see if they’ve learned anything from the past. Meanwhile, Uncle Rico’s salvaged their week with a win over Family Feud, who manages to score points just fine, but they have literally zero idea how to stop anyone. They would be better served acquiring a defensive coordinator from the league somewhere. It wouldn’t be the first time a young, lower division team hired a consultant.


This Week’s Games:


Buffalo Solar Solutions vs Over Compensators (+9) – It hasn’t been the best of times for the OC. I’m sure they’re fondly remembering the good old days, when they were 8-1 in D5, smacking teams like En Fuego around. But now? They’re just fodder for the much better D4 teams. I don’t know if the team didn’t stay in shape in the offseason or it’s a lack of talent or what. Larry isn’t making waves like he used to. I haven’t heard from Eric at all, so he can’t be happy. It’s just bad over there, you can feel it. Yeah, they’re in 4th place currently, but they can’t score, and they seemed destined to finish 6th or 7th in the division. Just kidding, the Freeballers are in this division, they’ll be 7th. Buffalo Solar is just humming along. They just proved they’re a force in the division and they’re going to want to do everything they can to keep that going. RIP OC. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 19


Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers vs Cunning Stunts (+4) – Hey, here’s a fun one. With the Stunts back on track, they look to remind everyone yet again who they are. The forgotten Step Sisters to The Angels (regardless of how many times they’ve beaten them), the Stunts have that chip on their shoulder yet again. They know they should be better than 2-3, but they’re 2-0 in their last two games, and that should be the focus. Uncle Rico’s will have their hands full here. CUNNING STUNTS BY 2


Family Feud and Some Dudes vs Freeballers (+3) – I tried to believe in the Freeballers, but you can only go so far with it. I have to cut my losses. Sorry 40 Year Plan Guy, you let the league down, again. You killed 3rd and Schlong FOR THIS? Happy Birthday though. Freeballers are the 44th ranked team (out of 44) on the TSL standings page. I heard from MULTIPLE sources this week they’re imploding from the inside. I’m not entirely sure they’d beat Intentional Pounding anymore. Just about everyone else in the division has scored nearly double the points they have. D4 was biting off more than they could chew, for sure. Don’t blame the girls, they’re great. In fact, feel bad for them. They’re stuck on this roster at least until free agency opens at season’s end and they can go elsewhere. Steph, this is why you turned your back on TMA? Great choice. Family Feud is catching the league’s worst team at the right time. Look for them to not only win this week, but win kind of big. I still have no idea about this team, so I can’t say much. But they’re going to win. Prove me right. FAMILY FEUD BY 14




Last Week’s Games:

Mountain Dew Me 46, PTERATACOS 14

Mountain Dew Me 22, Practice Squad 6

TOX 16, Zack Attack 15

Cobblestone 26, Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 12

PTERATACOS 30, Intentional Pounding 6

Cobblestone 27, Intentional Pounding 23

ILF 24, TOX 23


Just pack it up. The division is over. Mountain Dew Me continues its disgusting reign of terror on D5, and one can only wonder what the hell happened during the pandemic that turned these guys into pretty decent tough outs in D4 to absolute D5 juggernaut. They haven’t had a close game yet. Props to Practice Squad for holding them to only 22 points. I feel bad for Team Lantz because they’re just always the bridesmaid and never the bride in D5. They’re always RIGHT THERE to win this thing, and each season an new contender rises from nowhere to make them second or third best. TOX did the smart thing and benched Topper this week, all it did was give them a much needed victory over Zack Attack. You have to love the throwback to the days the Cobblestone won a bunch. Darryl really must’ve been taking Deer Antler Spray over the offseason. His hair is amazing and so is his play lately. Cobblestone is 3-1-1 and the entire TSL is just better when they’re doing well. I know the NYS rules you have over there means he isn’t passing out the Coronas to everyone just yet, but its coming. Intentional Pounding got pounded and I heard they put QB Scott Keller Sr. in the garage last week. They must be saving him for playoffs. ILF got smacking around by Cobblestone but gutted out a 1 point win to end the day against TOX. PTERATACOS stayed afloat in the division with a 1-1 week as well.


This Week’s Games:


ILF vs Intentional Pounding (+3) – Three points might be a bit low here. These two teams feel headed in opposite directions. Despite my undying love for the Keller clan, the First Family of the TSL don’t forget, the 3rd and Schlong split hasn’t been kind to them. Luckily, again, its been worse for the Freeballers. MERGE BACK YOU FOOLS. But for now, the season is about having fun I guess. ILF has many horns to toot! Why you ask? Andrew Kicak went out of his way to email me about some of his players who are doing well! So what’s fun here is that he goes to mention Alex Baker, who has an interception in every single game this season. Yes, that’s Dave Baker’s son, the first of approximately 4,258 of them I hear. The rest of the email was commenting on how tall Brad was on TOX and how gorgeous Darryl’s hair is. Still, thanks Andrew! ILF BY 7


PTERATACOS vs Zack Attack (+1) – A very interesting “middle of the road” matchup between two teams still trying to figure it all out. Zack Attack cannot be happy with only scoring 96 points in 5 games. The growing pains of moving up a division are obvious here. PTERATACOS are just above them in the standings by a point thanks to a tie. They’re also a team that right now, can’t beat the Top 3 in the division, but will be competitive with everyone else. This is a coin flip, so that’s what I did. ZACK ATTACK BY 4


Practice Squad vs TOX (+13) -  Practice Squad has to be angry after that egg they just laid against MDM. TOX is still a team that’s learning to play with each other, and if the whispers of a Topper injury are true, they might start seeing new QB’s come into play here. That doesn’t help them against a polished team like Practice Squad. They’ll beat them at the bar though. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 17


Mountain Dew Me vs Cobblestone (+24) – Mountain Dew Me is a runaway freight train, destroying everything in its path en route to a D5 title. But in the distance, there is a man, locks flowing in the win, wearing cargo shorts, holding a Corona. He’s standing directly in front of this machine that has taken over D5 and he softly whispers “No More.” If anyone in the division can stop Mountain Dew Me, it HAS to be Darryl Carr QB Superstar, right? Right? No. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 13




Last Week’s Games:

Tater Tots 46, PC Plumbing 30

Tater Tots 20, Lenny’s Ladies 9

TMA 28, Blitzkrieg 16

The BiPolar Express 40, PC Plumbing 39

The Bambs 34, Graves Bros 6


First off, hello Tater Tots! The Tots have a big 2-0 week as they vault up to 3rd in the division. They’ve started to realize that “Throw it up to the tall guy” is a very viable action plan. Meanwhile, PC Plumbing is a mess. Word is that they can never get a roster together, which tends to be a staple of a Peyton franchise. When you have so many people in and out of your team each week, you can’t ever have the proper continuity. TMA is back, I think. They took care of business just as they should against Blitzkrieg. The division may still run through them. The BiPolar Express won this week, and I believe Gordon was back. I told you he was all they needed. He knows how to run his team better than anyone. The Bambs just beat up on Graves Bros in a pretty boring contest.


This Week’s Games:


The Bambs vs PC Plumbing (+16) – They can’t make this line high enough. D6’s top team versus it’s worst. THE BAMBS BY 20


Tater Tots vs Blitzkrieg (+1) – I know what you’re thinking Alex. You’re staring at the standings wondering how 1-2-1 is your record. You could very easily be 3-1 and at the top of the division. Just a few plays could go differently, and you’d feel better about your season. Well, this is your moment. The Tots have established themselves as contenders and you can do the same with an impressive victory. Stay focused, use “Light Red Hoodie Guy” as much as possible (Everyone thinks he’s your best player), and win. BLITZKRIEG BY 6


Graves Bros vs Lenny’s Ladies (+2) – The dynamic here will be interesting, if Baby Gronk is rushing QB Jeff Easton. Easton isn’t known for his ability to change direction on the fly, and the unusual “being rushed by a really big dude” thing might hinder his throwing. Graves Bros and Lenny’s Ladies both need the win here, as they didn’t have the best weeks last Saturday. Graves Bros gets back on track here. GRAVES BROS BY 11


The BiPolar Express vs TMA (+2) – Gone are the days when Gordon’s gals would take on TMA and he’d lose 2-4 players from his roster immediately because they played for TMA. With Drunk Meg and Steph on other squads now, they can play in this matchup for BPX. Both teams are playing well, albeit having similar seasons. They’re both preseason favorites to win the title, yet its pretty clear that they didn’t have the best starts to their seasons. But they’re on the come up now, and this is a fun matchup. TMA is finally rolling, and they’re not missing a beat after losing Steph/Drunk Meg to free agency. Light Val, Diana, and newcomer Lauren (who hasn’t been creeped out of the team by Prim yet either) have been excellent, so the early worries of female play are extinguished. But let’s just get one thing straight here. I say this every year, and it still feels like now matter how many times I do, no matter how many awards go his way, people don’t realize it: RON WEBBER IS F’N GOOD. VERY GOOD. GREAT EVEN. He’s still somehow incredibly underrated, even though he catches just about everything. The BPX girls are fantastic when they all show up, which has also been a bit of a problem I hear. When Gordon has his full compliment of girls at his disposal, they’re hard to beat. This is going to be fun. TMA BY 2


Graves Bros vs PC Plumbing (+3) – I still don’t see why this line is low. There’s not much to talk about for PC Plumbing when they have an everchanging roster. Graves Bros had a hiccup last week, I’m sure of it. They’re still very good. Cassie (Kassie? Where’s Rameer when you need him?) vs Katie Swanson could be a fun matchup to watch, if people were allowed to watch games. GRAVES BROS BY 17


Lenny’s Ladies vs The BiPolar Express (+1) – I don’t understand this line at all. Both teams have similar records, but BPX is much more established than Lenny’s Ladies. It’s a good old fashioned gender game though, and that’s going to be really fun. While we’re missing out on the Gordon – Joe K QB battle, at least we’ll get the Gordon – Jeff battle. But this matchup is all about the girls, and here’s hoping we get a game akin to the Angels – Stunts rivalry that has produced some epic battles so far. I’m excited, but give me the team that’s been established much longer. THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS BY 3





1. Will Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown be the rivalry deathmatch is always is? I’d like to think so but this season feels so subdued, even from over here. But, give it one cheap shot from someone, and it’s GAME ON. Let’s hope it happens early.


2. Will any team go undefeated or winless this season? It’s incredibly hard to do both, but if you ask me you’ll see Mountain Dew Me win every game, and there’s a really good chance Freeballers don’t win one this season.


3. Have we heard anything new from the Health Department? Actually, no. It’s been very quiet, which is a great thing. We’re all doing excellent as far as our guidelines, thanks for everyone who’s been so very good about it all from what I’ve been told.


4. Can we stand on the sideline though, seriously? I will say, I’m not a fan of the idea of a 4th timeout and having to sub from the back of the endzone. One, there’s a reason there’s a “no standing behind the endzone” rule because it looks like there are more defenders there than usual. Two, a 4th time out changes the strategy of the game. It’s just weird to me. I’ve heard rumblings of a potential change, but nothing coming down the pipe.


5. Can we get one of those cool orange Topper Sports shirts? Actually, yes. Topper informed me just yesterday that he’s going to order a bunch of them. If you can get him $20 and your size, I’m sure he’d be glad to order you one. You’d more than likely have to talk to him this Saturday though.





1. If there was a team out there that was truly ready to “pop” and do some damage, it’s The Untouchaballs. Every week I see the scores, and its like, if they can figure out defense, they’re going to be good. If only I knew anyone on that team.


2. Seriously, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Just do it. Say hi. The reason some teams get so much more press is because I hear about them more. It used to be from Lenny and Rameer, and now it’s a lot more from YOU guys specifically. I’m not at the fields, and if I were, I couldn’t walk on them to see you guys. Or could I? I could always be Jeff May. He doesn’t wear glasses.


3. It’s going to be nearly 80 degrees this Saturday. Dress accordingly, and wear sunscreen.


4. Teams on the rise: Mountain Dew Me (Still), Buffalo Solar Solutions, Cunning Stunts, All We Do Is Quinn, Gryffindor


5. Teams with some work to do: Over Compensators, Lenny’s Ladies, TOX, PC Plumbing


6. Way too early division champion predictions: D1: Public Enemy, D2: Jabronies, D3: All We Do Is Quinn, D4: Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers, D5: Mountain Dew Me, D6: The BiPolar Express


7. We need to have some sort of bar games tournament. Also, where’s the wheel?


8. B’s Brother, we miss you. Someone read this to him. Joey Batts, go pick him up. Come on.


9. All teams should bring white shirts every week just in case they play a team that has the same color than them. Hearing people complain about how they played a team in black when they wear dark blue or red and orange is just stupid. Come prepared. Yes, if your main color is white, you would bring black in this case.


10. It’s true. By 5:00pm on Saturday, anything we think we knew will be wrong again. That’s the best part of the league.



Go forth, stay safe, and have fun. I cant wait to see how it goes for you all.


What’s YOUR ranking?



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