WEEK 4 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 13 September 2024 13:53

Published: Friday, 13 September 2024 13:53

Written by Jeff Krol

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, just like that, in the blink of an eye, we find ourselves rolling into the halfway point of the season as the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins its approach to the finish line. Historically in the TSL, it’s not how you start a season that matters, it’s how you finish it. With the rosters locked in for the TSL Fall 2024 Season, the teams that have struggled so far this year really have to take the next few weeks to figure out what ails them. In reality, all of the TSL’s teams have some things they need to work on (not you, Wet Bandits, you’re fine) just some have a lot less to worry about than others. Week 4 of the TSL regular season is the perfect week to really lock in your focus on where your team is struggling, and figure out what you need to do to achieve the ultimate goal of Social Co-Ed Football Immortality. 

 

With all of that said, the season has already been quite a ride. We have had forfeits, injuries, pouring rain, ref issues, the existence of Field 5, and just this week a new team, Straw Hats, was forced to fold in D3. But we’ve also had some beautiful weather for games. B’s Brother has been at the fields, as has his probable father, Topper (It’s down to Topper and Cookie Monster, and both have refused DNA tests). We’ve had a large number of very close games (1-3 points). The D2 teams are absolutely up for the fight in the D1/D2 crossover games, proving that they’re not “lesser” teams by any means, and sparking interest in future D3/D4 and D5/D6 crossover matchups. The bar has been hopping for sure. This week the TSL is going to have a bunch of adoptable cats and dogs from the animal shelter there from 12-2 for your petting pleasure. Lots of good things have been happening. Weird things have happened too. Like the Wet Bandits, Grey Hair Don’t Care, and Bullet Club have all played 5 games so far this year (Bullet Club is technically at 6 if you count the Straw Hats future forfeit win for them too) while GUCCI has only played 1 game so far this season, and handful of teams only have played twice. 

 

Heading into Week 4 here’s each division’s Top Seed and Bottom Seed if the playoffs started today, and we’ll see if these hold up going into the playoffs in October. 

 

D1: Top Seed - Wet Bandits, 5-0, beating everyone pretty easily, have a 95% chance of staying the top seed, looking dominant. Bottom Seed - Freeballers, 0-4, getting beaten by everyone pretty easily, have a 95% chance of staying the bottom seed, stuck with Hogan. 

 

D2: Top Seed - Mavericks, 2-1, got the vibes right yet again, but have a 25% chance of staying the top seed, which is all about how competitive the division is and has nothing to do with their own play. Bottom Seed - Grey Hair Don’t Care, 1-4, their only win is against a D1 team, has an 80% chance to stay the bottom seed, just because they have 2 more losses than anyone else does already. 

 

D3: Top Seed - Practice Squad, 3-0, hell of a good start for them, have a 30% chance to stay the top seed, mainly due to the fact that they have a forfeit win and beat a PWI squad that was short handed in Week 1. The schedule is going to get much tougher. Bottom Seed - Topper All-Stars & Todd, 0-3, haven’t had Topper yet, have a 43% chance to stay the bottom seed, but with a returning Topper, along with Aaron and Drew, can start pulling off a string of wins as well. 

 

D4: Top Seed - Cunning Stunts, 4-0, already beat their main competition, 97% chance to finish as the top seed, none of that matters since they do this all of the time and choke in the playoffs. Bottom Seed - Cobblestone, 0-3, multiple forfeits because of a lack of girl power, 100% chance to finish as the bottom seed unless they fix the roster issues that have plagued them this season. 

 

D5: Top Seed - Two Tuddies, 2-0, off to a good start with the new look roster, 30% chance to stay as the top seed, lots and lots of good games upcoming that they won’t be favored in. Bottom Seed - Pit Harade, 0-3, the move up to D5 hasn’t been easy, 75% chance to stay as the bottom seed, moving up divisions is hard for any team in the TSL, and doing it with a new QB and roster issues ramps up the difficulty. 

 

D6: Top Seed - Blitzkrieg, 3-0, looking really, really good again, 85% chance to finish as the top seed as they beat their biggest competitor (Sausage McMuffins) and they’re LONG overdue to get a championship. Bottom Seed - Dogg Pound, 0-3, essentially still an expansion team, 50% chance to stay the bottom seed as any team in the bottom half of the D6 standings can get hot and rise up (or get cold and fall off), so why not them? 

 

That’s where things stand as we head into Week 4. What does it all mean? Nothing specific. It just means the story of the TSL Fall 2024 season is still unfolding, and there’s still time to write your perfect ending. And that includes Freeballers, Grey Hair, TAST, Cobblestone, Pit Harade, and the Dogg Pound too. 

D1/D2 

 

Last Week’s Games

 

D1

 

Wet Bandits 39, Freeballers 13

 

The best in the division meets the worst in the division, things go kind of as expected. 

 

D1/D2 Crossover Corner

 

Can’t Touch This 41, Sticky Bandits 33

Eyes Downtown 38, The Malones 24

Mavericks 42, Frodo Swaggins 34

Wet Bandits 45, Mavericks 32

Scared Hitless 33, Freeballers 21

 

D1 leads the season series 6-4.

The most fun you can have during a TSL Saturday besides playing is watching a D1/D2 crossover game. Can’t Touch This knocks off the defending D1 champion Sticky Bandits, Mavericks took out Frodo before losing to the Wet Bandits, and Scared Hitless beat the Freeballers to give D2 a 3-2 win this week in the D1 v D2 standings. Eyes Downtown got things together and reminded everyone who they are as they beat up on The Malones 38-24 as well. 

 

D2

 

The Untouchaballs 32, Grey Hair Don’t Care 31

 

All is right with the world as Jeremy Burr showed up to the fields, and just did what he does best: win football games. His team helped too, I think. 

This Week’s Games: 

 

D1

 

None. There are no D1-only games this week. 

 

D1/D2 Crossover Corner

 

The Untouchaballs vs Freeballers (+7) - The Untouchaballs got Burr back at QB and they immediately put up points and quieted any worries that they were in trouble this season. The Freeballers, however, continue to look like they’re in trouble, as things just aren’t breaking right for them this season. The schedule isn’t easy the rest of the way, but it’s also not as hard as the beginning of it was, perhaps giving hope that the ship can be righted. There’s no hope here. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 4

 

Sticky Bandits vs Scared Hitless (+8) - Scared Hitless is about to pop. You can feel them quietly getting to another level while everyone is paying attention to everyone else. They won’t be able to catch Sticky napping after they lost to CTT last week though, but expect a great game. STICKY BANDITS BY 3

 

The Malones vs Frodo Swaggins (EVEN) - Frodo is playing well, but they don’t quite have a “signature win” on the season, although you can argue that the win over CTT was close. The Malones are a buzzsaw that currently needs sharpening. I’m not sure The Malones have ever lost two weeks in a row, and for the storyline I’m going to just assume they haven’t. On the one hand, they lost their crossover games so far, but on the other hand it was against Sticky Bandits and Eyes Downtown, two of the premier franchises in TSL history, and they just had a bad half in each game. Both teams need this win, and they’re going to play like it. THE MALONES BY 3

 

Eyes Downtown vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+7) - Eyes Downtown got back on track a bit last week as they put the finishing moves on The Malones ascension to the TSL heavens. It was a good game for ED, and it hopefully signals the turn around they’ve needed since winning the D1 title last fall. If anyone is going to slow down the Wet Bandits, besides Kevin McAllister, it’ll be ED. They’ve done it before. As for GHDC, the season hasn’t been the best for this squad, but they’re a smart bunch that you can’t sleep on. They really need to fix that defense though, and they have 4 games to do it. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 10

 

D2

 

The Untouchaballs vs Scared Hitless (EVEN) - Two teams with the green “trending up” arrows meet in a regular old boring D2 matchup. Just kidding, there’s nothing boring here when you could potentially get a Jeremy Burr vs Travis smack talking matchup on a Saturday. Burr is always at his best when he can fire himself up though, and you know he’s still mad about Travis kicking him off the Legends (when Burr was a sub in the playoff) because Boccio appeared (and he’s scared the Wet Bandits will do that to him again this season). Burr takes this out on SH. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 10

 

D3

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Practice Squad 21, Straw Hats 0 (forfeit)

Passing While Intoxicated 38, Topper’s All Stars & Todd 18

Jabronies 40, Buffalo Vice 30

Mix’n It Up 28, Bullet Club 18

Bullet Club 35, Topper’s All Stars & Todd 6

Wanderers 36, Let’s Get Reccked 32

 

Lots of fun D3 games this week. Practice Squad stays on top of the standings as Straw Hats have to forfeit and then unfortunately fold the team. PWI gets another win in D3 as they beat TAST. The Jabronies slip by Buffalo Vice who continue to put up 30+ points consistently in D3. Mix’n It Up finally gets to play a complete game, and they get by Bullet Club to move to 2-0 on the season. Bullet Club would rebound, dominating TAST right after, to get to 1-1 on the day. And lastly the Wanderers held off Let’s Get Reccked 36-32. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Wanderers vs Passing While Intoxicated (+10) - PWI, on paper, is looking good in D3. They’re 2-1, and they can hold their heads high knowing they lost in Week 1 with only 5 people on the field. However, they probably played about as easy a schedule as anyone could have. Business is about to pick up as PWI plays the Wanderers, who are constant D3 favorites, and a first ballot “Social Co-Ed Football Hall of Fame” team. The real season for PWI starts now. WANDERERS BY 12

 

Wanderers vs Mix’n It Up (+3) - The Kellers returned to the fields last week, played one game, and walked off with 2 wins as only they could do (The suspended Straw Hats game they played in Week 1 was awarded to them, but still). Damien continues to grow as a QB, Katie Keller continues to be a dominant player even in her 40s, and everyone on this team knows exactly what to do. The Wanderers, of course, have played the same brand of football for 7 decades, and these two teams are very similar in a lot of ways, but give me the experience of Frank every time. WANDERERS BY 8

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs Bullet Club (+7) - Let’s Get Reccked has only played two games, but they looked good in both of them. Bullet Club has played in 5 games, and has looked good and bad and I’m not sure what we’re getting out of them this season. Right now LGR feels like an outside title contender, and BC feels like they’re just on the outside looking in. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 3

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs Practice Squad (+3) - I’m waiting for B to point out that he doesn’t get any respect, but I’m pretty sure I sing his praises often, thank you very much. PS is a weak 3-0, and even he’s going to admit that, beating a 5-man PWI, getting a forfeit win, and then only beating Vice by 3 in the one real game they had all year. A win here would go a long way for Practice Squad, but we’ve been waiting for LGR to have a dominant season for a few seasons now, and this might be the one. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 13

 

Practice Squad vs Topper’s All Stars & Todd (+7) - The rumors are swirling that not only that we might see Topper don his customary hat and get on the field for the first time this season, but also that his shoulder is feeling better than ever (in his defense, he can’t remember more than 3 years ago anymore, so he’s right), and our fearless leader is going to line up behind center. There’s nothing the league would want to see more than a Topper vs B football matchup, that’s for sure. However while the arm is feeling great, there’s still some rust on his brain to shake off, so it’ll be interesting to see how a comeback shakes out. It could be rough, but it’ll more likely be like when Mario Lemieux returned to the NHL after retiring and had 3 points like he never left. Right? PRACTICE SQUAD BY 10

 

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Cunning Stunts 52, ILF 36

Select 21, Cobblestone 0 (forfeit)

The Herd 40, GirthQuakes 28 

 

The Cunning Stunts knock off ILF to establish dominance in D4, Select gets a forfeit win over Cobblestone (but they did play a game!), and The Herd gets another win as they beat the GQs. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Creekers vs GirthQuakes (+3) - The Creekers haven’t really been themselves yet this season, but with only two games under their belts so far, there’s definitely time for improvement. The GirthQuakes are coming along in their first season, but there’s been some growing pains for the new squad that are continuing to work themselves out. CREEKERS BY 7

 

Cunning Stunts vs Cobblestone (+21) - If Cobblestone doesn’t want to field a squad for this one, I can’t say I’d blame them. The Stunts continue to be on another level, and we don’t know quite what Cobblestone can actually do at full strength. CUNNING STUNTS BY 16

 

The Herd vs Cobblestone (+3) - The Herd is slowly coming together for sure, and it’s good to see the improvement they’ve had in their second season. They seem to have gotten a handle on how to beat the “non-top” teams in the division. THE HERD BY 8

 

Select vs Vaspian (+8) - Vaspian returns after a week off, looking to continue the “our record is 1-3 but we haven’t been that bad at all” season they have going for them. Select has had some fireworks it seems, but they’re 3-1 and they have a superstar on the team that everyone else is seemingly a bit afraid of in Malikye (which I’m pretty sure I spelled that wrong, my bad). SELECT BY 14

 

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing 53, Stir The Sauce 52

Not So Sticky 25, Powerpuff Girls 24

Two Tuddies 44, Pit Harade 22

Stir The Sauce 21, Come From Behind 20

GUCCI 42, Powerpuff Girls 41

 

5 games in D5, and four of them were one point games. Spinelli’s just outlasts STS who then goes on to beat CFB by a point themselves. The Powerpuff Girls went 0-2 on the day with two 1 point losses, one to Not So Sticky, and the other to the returning GUCCI. The Two Tuddies doubled up on Pit Harade in the other game, as they go to 2-0 on the year. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Not So Sticky vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+3) - Spinelli’s finally showed up this season (for them, I mean scoring 50+ points) and they looked good doing it as they remembered who they are. That’s not great news for the rest of D5. However, if there’s one team that’s pretty good at slowing down high octane offenses, it’s NSS. This game will probably end up in the 20s for both teams, unless NSS just can’t run with SP. NOT SO STICKY BY 2

 

GUCCI vs Come From Behind (+3) - The perennial top two teams in D5 for the last few seasons have themselves some company with STS, PPG, NSS, and Spinelli’s all looking like top tier D5 contenders. In this classic matchup, you can expect some high scoring, and a close game. GUCCI looks to be as good as always, although CFB seems to be starting slow for whatever reason. That’s the only reason to bet against them. GUCCI BY 6

 

Stir The Sauce vs Pit Harade (+10) - These two teams already met once earlier in the year, as STS cruised to an easy victory and they haven’t really looked back since. STS has been pretty impressive so far this year, while Pit Harade is looking to be having a rough go at it so far. Perhaps they’ll figure it out this season, but not this game. STIR THE SAUCE BY 13

 

GUCCI vs Two Tuddies (+8) - The Tud Buds have something going here with the new look roster, but this is easily the measuring stick they need to see if they have what it takes. Beating GUCCI means getting gender TDs, which Kory said on the podcast this week that the Tuddies have SEVEN of, so perhaps they’re preparing for GUCCI (and the PPG) ahead of time? Either way, GUCCI represents a much harder challenge, and I’m not sure the Tuddies are up for it just yet. GUCCI BY 13

 

Stir The Sauce vs Two Tuddies (+8) - Hell of a double header for the Tuddies this week, as they get to test themselves not only against GUCCI, but also against the arguably hottest team in the league right now. STIR THE SAUCE BY 10

 

D6

 

Last Week’s Games

 

TMA 39, Sticky Laces 10

Blitzkrieg 33, Sausage McMuffins 22

Balls Deep 36, Dogg Pound 6

Purple Nurples 51, Day By Day 32

 

TMA is on the board! TMA gets a win over the Sticky Laces, and they’re starting to look like TMA once again. Blitzkrieg wins the battle of top D6 teams over the McMuffins to take control of the division. Balls Deep easily handled Dogg Pound, and the Purple Nurples finally put it all together, pulling off a slight upset of Day By Day. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

TMA vs Dogg Pound (+6) - TMA got back on the horse last week, and now they’re looking to win two in a row against a Dogg Pound team still finding its way. The veteran TMA squad should have no real issues in this one, provided they all show up. I’ll assume Brent gets two touchdowns in this one. TMA BY 14

 

Blitzkrieg vs Day By Day (+7) - Day By Day continues to play well, even despite the loss last week, and they have an outside shot to give BK a run at the title. Fall Blitzkrieg has looked very good, but we’ve seen this before out of them, and as long as they don’t stumble down the stretch, things will look good for them to finally capture D6. This is a measuring stick game for Day By Day, and it’ll tell them this: They’re close, but not quite there yet. BLITZKRIEG BY 12

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Balls Deep (+3) - The McMuffins suffered a blow last week, but that doesn’t mean they’re down for the count. They still have loads of talent, and they’re facing a Balls Deep squad that so desperately wants to be mentioned as a true D6 title contender instead of “just on the outside”. Their offense seems to be improving, but we need to see them score against a top team before taking them too seriously. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 9

 

Purple Nurples vs Sticky Laces (+3) - Sticky Laces got their first loss of the season last week, while the Nurps got their first win. This game is going to be all about if the Laces can keep up with the Nurps in scoring, and while the Nurps’ D tends to allow that, I’m not sure the Laces’ Offense will take advantage. PURPLE NURPLES BY 11

 

Day By Day vs Dogg Pound (+12) - Day By Day is a team that is trending up, Dogg Pound is a team that needs to figure stuff out. Not much more to say about this one. DAY BY DAY BY 16

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• What is Dog Day? What can I expect? The Buffalo Animal Shelter will be at the fields from 12pm-2pm with a bunch of adorable, adoptable dogs (and cats!) who you can pet, play with, and even adopt yourself! We had a few animals find homes last year when we did this event, hopefully we can help some more! Also, since next week is “reduced adoption week” at the shelter, anyone who puts in an application at the fields will get half off of the adoption fee! 

 

 

 

• What teams seem to be taking a leap forward this season? Can you say the Wet Bandits? They’re playing better than they have been. Stir The Sauce is very much on that list, as is Day By Day, the Powerpuff Girls, The Herd, Frodo Swaggins, and Buffalo Vice too. 

 

 

 

• What happens to D3 now that the Straw Hats folded? Jeff Krol told me that it becomes a 9 team division, and the 8-9 seeds will play in the “first round play-in game” like D3 had last season. Everyone Straw Hats didn’t play will get the 21-0 forfeit win, while the games they already played will stand. 

 

 

 

• D1 and D2 are definitely going to combine, right? I was convinced they were going to for this season, and it didn’t happen, but now with how competitive D2 has been with D1 AGAIN this season, it’s going to be hard not to do it. This has been the most fun a D1 season has been in ages. 

• Can you name three of the best teams nobody is talking about? Oh that’s easy, it’s very clearly Scared Hitless as I pointed out earlier. After that, Buffalo Vice is scoring the way they did in D4, and it's only a matter of time before they get a few more wins. The Creekers are 0-2 and are out of sight, out of mind for many TSLers. But let’s not forget just how good they’ve been the last few seasons. We could blink and they’ll be 4-2 in a few weeks and nobody would be surprised. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Steph is going to win the Breakfast Club championship, again. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• Dri Girls 1 Cup 33, Syd On My Face 18

• D’s Nutz 27, Carlyac Arrest 22

• Steph Infection 40, All Ryled Up 24

 

 

 

• Games of the Week: 

• 10:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Day By Day

• 11:00 - Scared Hitless vs Sticky Bandits

• 12:00 - Mix’n It Up vs Wanderers

• 1:00 - The Malones vs Frodo Swaggins

• 2:00 - Practice Squad vs Topper’s All Stars & Todd

• 3:00 - Stir The Sauce vs Two Tuddies

 

 

 

• It’s a big week for many teams, but the Two Tuddies have two huge games against GUCCI and Stir The Sauce that will really show if they’re contenders or not. 

 

 

 

• Really kind of waiting to see the Can’t Touch This vs The Malones game that will happen later in the year at some point.

 

 

 

• After there was a bit of a lightning and pouring rain scenario that delayed the games last week, you’re looking at a beautiful 84 degree, sunny day. Perfect weather, wear your sunscreen. 

 

 

 

• Remember, you can NOT just pick up random subs at the fields on game day. Subs must be requested by 3pm on Friday. 

 

 

 

• There’s a lot of exciting new talent in the TSL that’s really coming into their own the last few seasons, the future of the league just feels bright. 

 

 

 

• As always, keep emailing me about the state of your teams and who to give shout outs to! This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. is where you need to send your emails! 

 

 

 

• Please continue treating the refs with respect and not screaming at them for making a potential mistake, and also good work on keeping the fields cleaned up, that’s been a big issue in the past. Good work TSL! 

 

 

-GF OUT

Week 2

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 30 August 2024 17:54

Published: Friday, 30 August 2024 17:54

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 171

 

And just like that, we’re off. That’s right Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is on! Week 1 is in the books, and it gave us everything we wanted and more! There were close games, there were blowouts, there were ambulances, there were suspensions, there was the surprise that neither of the last two things were related to the Wet Uptowns vs Eyes Downtown game in any way, there was Joey Batts not answering B’s Brother’s request for a way to the fields on Facebook, the weather was hot, Field 5 wasn’t that terrible besides a rock here and there, and lots of teams had fun. 

 

There were quite a lot of things going on, and as usual it’s on me to sort out what’s really happening after the first week of TSL action. Don’t forget that the results of Week 1 tend to have next to no effect on the outcomes of Championship Saturday. Teams could’ve just been missing players last week, teams could’ve been getting new players used to their system (most TSL teams don’t have mandatory two-a-day practice sessions like Bobby does for Eyes Downtown), etc. There’s enough proof out there that a bad Week 1 doesn’t mean it’s the end for your season already. But a good Week 1 can be the beginning of your Story of Immortality. Who had a good start? Who had a bad one? 

 

GOOD NOT BAD

 

 

• Select showed up as a new team, got through some uh, challenging times during both of their games, and ended up 2-0 on the day with two 1-point victories over the GirthQuakes and Vaspian.

• Wet Bandits start off 2-0, and score a lot of points in doing so as they continue looking for the championship they haven’t won for over a calendar year now. 

• Vaspian is 1-1, but they were an inch away from starting 2-0 and being on top of D4. 

• Sticky Laces jumped out to a 2-0 record in D6 after a trying first season. 

• Day By Day (Just Joshing) continued their rising trend from last season with a blowout win. 

• Power Puffs lay the smack down on multiple candy asses, unleash new secret weapon on the league, start off 2-0. 

• The Malones easily win their first game in D2, whispers about why they were scared of D1 already beginning. 

• Wanderers do Wanderers things, start off 2-0 and seem poised to finally win that title. Of course if Week 1 decided the champions, they’d have 3 titles already. 

• Can’t Touch This is 1-1, but had a close, 5 point loss against Frodo in a Crossover game. 

• Freeballers show they have guts, move up to D1 without Sean (who is going #1 in TSL fantasy drafts on espn.com) and lose to the defending champs. But only by 8 points, proving they belong. (And they didn’t have Hogan throwing, but that may have helped.)

 

 

NOT GOOD NOT BAD

 

 

• The Jabronies are 1-1, beating TAST but couldn’t hang with the Wanderers. Bad Klecker (not to be confused with Good Klecker, the QB everyone likes) may need to sacrifice a potted plant once again.

• Practice Squad gets a great win to start the year, but also it was against 5 people. 

• Cunning Stunts kill a team. Typical. 

• Two Tuddies change QBs, get a win over fierce rival Not So Sticky, but they’ve played them enough that it isn’t impressive. 

• Spinelli’s Plumbing put up 38 points in their return, but also allowed 50. 

• D1/D2 Crossover Games have D1 at 2-0 so far this season, but results were split in that one game was very close and the other wasn’t. The Malones are coming. 

 

 

BAD NOT GOOD

 

 

• TMA moves back to D6, promptly gets stomped. 

• Bullet Club is the first team to allow 100 points this session, dropping to 0-2 very quickly. 

• PWI makes a grand entrance to D3 with only 5 players, proving what everyone already knows: women just want to avoid being around Colorado Mike at all costs. 

• Cobblestone starts off 0-2, looks to be crumbling from the outside, Darryl Carr QB Superstar wants to knock down the roster and rebuild, people won’t let him. He can only do so much. 

• Jeremy Burr didn’t play last week, which isn’t good for anyone. 

• Eyes Downtown 0-1 again, under .500 for their last 10 games, considering changes at QB and DL. 

• Jeff Krol worries more about moving into his new mansion and parenting over updating the website poll, Topper rumored to return to power. 

 

 

And there you have it, that’s where the TSL stands currently after an exciting first week. What does Week 2 hold? Let’s find out. 

 

D1

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Sticky Bandits 37, Freeballers 29

Wet Bandits 39, Eyes Downtown 34

 

All of the Bandits got wins last week in D1 games, but more importantly they were close games, which bodes well for the future of the division. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Wet Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+7) - Frodo got their win back over CTT in a Crossover game last week as a nice tune-up, but it’s time to see if this version of the team is up to the test of the top D1 teams, or if they’re still a step behind. WET BANDITS BY 13

D1/D2 CROSSOVER CORNER!

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Frodo Swaggins 34, Can’t Touch This 29

Wet Bandits 57, Grey Hair Don’t Care 22

 

D1 is leading the season series 2-0. 

Frodo Swaggins lost to CTT last year in the crossover games, but snuck out a win this time around, as Can’t Touch This continues to show they can probably be a pretty good D1 team if they keep it up. The Wet Bandits beat up on a returning Grey Hair Don’t Care, playing their second game of the day, in the heat. Not the best way to start things off for them. 

 

This Week’s Games: 

 

Sticky Bandits vs The Malones (+3) - YES YES YES, ABSOLUTELY YES. Not only do we get The Malones playing a D1 game, they get the DEFENDING CHAMPS RIGHT AWAY. After wondering for so long if The Malones can keep up with the best teams in the TSL, we get to see them go against the reigning champs. What fun! Game of the Day is right here. If you’re not playing at 10, you should be watching this game. THE MALONES BY 2

 

Frodo Swaggins vs The Untouchaballs (+6) - So right after we get a Sticky - Malones matchup, we’re gifted a Garrett vs Jeremy Burr QB Battle? Thank you scheduling gods! I don’t love that UT didn’t play a game yet this season together, but they’re getting Frodo on the back half of a double header too? There’s rumors of this being the end for The Untouchaballs after this season, so expect them to go extra hard all season. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 8

 

Freeballers vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (EVEN) - In a matchup that once sounded like a ‘pretty okay’ D2 game that would happen at 3:00 on Field 4, we get a matchup SOAKING in intrigue and drama. The Freeballers won D2 last year with Dave Eickhoff throwing darts around the field and his offense (which was more than just “throw it high to Sean) was the change the FB needed to win it all. And then he left them for Grey Hair to return to the TSL after a season off. A rusty Hogan, Eickhoff knowing how to pick apart the defense of the team he just played for, and Garbacz there to make a crucial bad call that makes a Keita or two flip out? Stick this directly into my veins. FREEBALLERS BY 1

 

Eyes Downtown vs Scared Hitless (+10) - This game doesn’t really have the flair the others do, but don’t let that fool you, it’ll be a good game. Just two months ago these two met in a Crossover game that Eyes Downtown won 34-28, so Scared Hitless can absolutely hang here. I’m just not exactly sure if they’re going to. Eyes Downtown just feels like they NEED this win more than SH does. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 7

D2

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

The Malones 43, Scared Hitless 28

Can’t Touch This 36, Grey Hair Don’t Care 16

 

The Malones start off their D2 campaign the same way they rock every game, scoring over 40 points and winning comfortably. Can’t Touch This continues their winning ways that they ended their season on last year (save for winning the title, sure) with an easy win over GHDC. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Can’t Touch This vs Mavericks (EVEN) - The Mavericks are becoming a little forgotten in the D2 world. Last season, they got off to a hot start, and played a bunch of games early, which may have hurt them come playoff time. Either way, the lack of games later in the season last year, plus missing Week 1, has given them a sort of “under the radar” status to some degree. Let’s remember that this is a VERY good team that has it all - Great Girls, Good-Great Guys, and arguably the best QB in the division. Last year, they had all the good vibes too. This year? I’m not feeling it just yet. A big win here should help with that, but for some reason I don’t feel it just yet. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 8

 

The Malones vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+12) - I’m not entirely sure Grey Hair Don’t Care will be able to keep up with The Malones. That’s really all it comes down to. THE MALONES BY 17

D3

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Wanderers 28, Jabronies 24

Buffalo Vice 48, Bullet Club 31

Jabronies 34, Topper’s All Stars & Todd 12

Wanderers 53, Bullet Club 29

Practice Squad 44, Passing While Intoxicated 8

 

The Wanderers went 2-0 with wins over the Jabronies and Bullet Club, proving everyone right that they’re the team to beat this session. Speaking of Bullet Club, they fell to 0-2 on the season by also losing to Buffalo Vice. The Jabronies may have lost to the Wanderers but they did go 1-1 on the day with a win over TAST, and PWI got dunked on in their “Welcome to D3” game by B and The Lantzes (which is also the name of their secret underground jazz band). 

This Week’s Games:

 

Jabronies vs Bullet Club (+10) - The Jabronies lost to the Wanderers by 4, and Bullet Club lost to them by 24. That should be all you need to really know going into this game, but last year these two played a very close game that came down to the wire. I expect more of the same here, but BC is staring 0-3 in the face. JABRONIES BY 8

 

Buffalo Vice vs Practice Squad (EVEN) - An early matchup between two teams trying to get to 2-0. Every D3 game has playoff tiebreaker implications, meaning every game is close, and I feel like these two teams will be battling to be above the 7 seed so they get a “bye” of sorts, which means this game is BIG. Vice dropped 48 last week, which shouldn’t be too surprising since they DID drop 66 in a playoff game last season. They’ve figured out the “D3” learning curve after some ups and downs. The Caitlyn Mason vs Renee Lantz battle should be a great one to watch too. I think we’re going to see some B magic this time around. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 7

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Straw Hats (EVEN) - This game was hard for the oddsmakers to give a line to because they didn’t know what to expect from Straw Hats yet, and PWI just had a brutal debut a week ago. But PWI has Buddy Lee, quietly one of the better QBs in the league, and I’ve seen enough from PWI over the years to know that when they have a bad week, they bounce back better than just about anyone.  PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 12

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs Straw Hats (+6) - LGR continues to be an enigma of sorts because you’re always left thinking “This team should be much better than its record ever shows.” They have the smarts and the talent to be great, although there’s some questions about the depth of the roster at times. Regardless, they’ll be a tough task for a Straw Hats team we know nothing about (but they can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to let me know who they are!). LETS GET RECCKED BY 13

 

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

ILF 26, Cobblestone 0

Select 28, GirthQuakes 27

Vaspian 31, Creekers 12

GirthQuakes 21, Cobblestone 0 (Forfeit)

Select 27, Vaspian 26

Cunning Stunts 52, The Herd 24

The Stunts and ILF both won their games pretty easily, as expected, as they move towards a D4 title game battle with each other. Cobblestone dropped to 0-2, but that was due to player issues unfortunately. The GirthQuakes end up 1-1, losing by a point to Select, and getting a forfeit win. Speaking of Select, they’re 2-0 after two victories, and they’ve gotten off to a (mostly) great start! Vaspian lost to Select by a point, but they beat up on the Creekers 31-12, perhaps signaling a Vaspian return to glory? We can only hope. 

This Week’s Games

 

ILF vs Select (+7) - Select has the good feelings from being 2-0, but it’s one thing to beat a brand new team and Vaspian, and another to play ILF, who has been at the top of the division for a little while now and with Buddy Lee at QB for them (giving ILF their first “actual” QB ever) it should be what they need to get over the hump and win it all. If Select is truly going to factor into the D4 title picture, a win (or at least a close loss) is needed here. Not sure they’re going to get it. ILF BY 13

 

Cunning Stunts vs Creekers (+8) - Stop me if you’ve heard this before. The Cunning Stunts easily put up 50+ points after adding another top flight female (this time it’s Maddie Norton) to the squad. It’s still weird that the Stunts haven’t won D4 yet, Matty’s Angels would’ve done it twice by now. It’s still par for the course for the Stunts, but for the Creekers I’m not so sure. A 19 point loss to Vaspian is a bit surprising (I’m going to assume they were missing people), and a game against the Stunts isn’t a way to stop the bleeding. CUNNING STUNTS BY 20

 

ILF vs The Herd (+14) - The schedule makers didn’t do The Herd any favors, giving them the best two teams in the league right out of the gate. On the other hand, they’ll get the hard ones out of the way, learn from these two games, and be able to apply those lessons to the “weaker” teams they have left on the schedule. At least, in theory anyway. ILF BY 17

 

Cunning Stunts vs Vaspian (+10) - Great start for Vaspian, as I’ve said ten times now. I’d like to see them keep it rolling, but the Stunts are just built different….. CUNNING STUNTS BY 14

 

Vaspian vs The Herd (+10) - ….but The Herd is not. Another doubleheader for Vaspian, another 1-1 week. VASPIAN BY 10

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

PowerPuff Girls 44, Come From Behind 26

PowerPuff Girls 50, Spinelli’s Plumbing 38

Two Tuddies 23, Not So Sticky 18

 

The PowerPuff Girls have very, very clearly planted their flag and let the world know that they’re coming for that D5 title. They beat perennial contender Come From Behind rather easily, and then they beat former D5 champions Spinelli’s as well. That’s a GREAT start for the Girls. The Two Tuddies started off on the right foot with their new look roster, getting a win over Not So Sticky. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Stir The Sauce vs Pit Harade (+8) - Stir The Sauce had a really good first season last spring which saw them stay close in most games and then upset GUCCI in the playoffs as well. They fell short of winning the title by 4 points against THK, so they’re well positioned to have a really good season. They get a good start to the season playing Pit Harade, who came up from D6 despite not winning the championship. They were 12-5 the last two seasons though, so it kind of makes sense to move up. QB Dave Walter will have his hands full in PH’s first D5 game. STIR THE SAUCE BY 15

 

Come From Behind vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+7) - This could be a high scoring affair if everything goes right. Both teams are looking to bounce back after beatings by the PPGs, so it will be quite interesting to see who does a better job of it. It’ll be weird seeing CFB at 0-2. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 8

 

Not So Sticky vs Pit Harade (+8) - Not So Sticky looks to get back to some winning ways after last week, and getting the brand new D5 team on the back end of a double header seems to be the way to do it. This should be a fun game, but look for NSS to exploit PH as they’re learning the D5 game. NOT SO STICKY BY 13

D6

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Day By Day 44, TMA 7

Sticky Laces 19, Dogg Pound 17

Sticky Laces 28, Balls Deep 18

Sausage McMuffins 46, Purple Nurples 29

Day By Day gets a huge win over TMA to start the season off right. Sticky Laces is 2-0 after a 2 point win over Dogg Pound (these teams always play close, good games), and then they beat Balls Deep as well. Lastly, The McMuffins dropped 46 on the Purple Nurples. Not sure if that’s the result of the McMuffin offense being really good again, or the Nurples’ Defense being really not so good again. Time will tell. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Day By Day vs Dogg Pound (+7) - The DPs were close yet again last week, but couldn’t quite get there. After going through the QB carousel last year, here’s hoping they’ve settled on one and they can continue to improve Week By Week. DBD, on the other side of the field, has really figured it out ever since about Week 5 last spring, and the statement win last week is a sign of things to come. While both of these teams started out at the same time, one of them is a little further along with their development. DAY BY DAY BY 11

 

Sausage McMuffins vs TMA (+10) - SMM finds themselves in an all too familiar position of D6 title contenders who can score, usually, but something always creeps up and ruins the season for them. While this team likes having fun (as it is full of good people), I’m thinking this is the season they need to go for everyone’s throats and have a bit of an edge to them. They get a good candidate to do that in TMA, who didn’t quite get the “Welcome Back to D6!” respect they maybe should’ve gotten. Dorene mentioned on the TSL podcast (Listen on Spotify!) they were short handed, so let’s hope that that was just a blip on the radar. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 8

 

Fall Blitzkrieg vs Balls Deep (+7) - I don’t know who’s throwing for BK, and as always I’m hoping it's Light Red Hoodie Guy. Unless Alex found a way to play, which would be great for BK. The TSL’s version of “When is it finally going to be their time??” got a gift this offseason when Pit Harade and Back That Pass Up left the division, which means they have the best chance to win they’ve had in a while. Balls Deep is one of the contenders to take them down, and BD DID beat them last season, but I think that was a fluke. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 14

 

Fall Blitzkrieg vs Purple Nurples (+10) - Same as above for BK, the Nurples COULD represent a D6 challenger, as they’ve been a tough D6 team for a couple of seasons before last spring, where the wheels fell off for some reason, and they couldn’t even cover the “Shady Pines Retirement Home All Stars” in a scrimmage game in July, losing 58-14. (In their defense, Edith Granderson is the greatest 77 year old female football player of all time. She’s slippery.) It’s hard to say if they figured it out yet, but this will be a good test. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 19

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Who’s going to win Breakfast Club? Breakfast Club starts this week for the Fall season, and for the most part the sign ups were encouraging! We have 3 new captains this season - Sydney from Two Tuddies, Carly from Jabronies (teaming up with Jenna), and Rylee from Sticky Bandits. They join Dorene, Dri, and Hall of Fame Breakfast Club Captain Steph in battle this year. The rosters all look really, really even this time around, but my “preseason” prediction is that we’ll be seeing All Ryled Up losing in the finals to Dri Girls 1 Cup. 

• WILL JOEY (OR B) GIVE B’S BROTHER A RIDE TO THE FIELDS SO HE CAN BLESS US WITH HIS PRESENCE? I don’t know the answer to this, but I know B reads this article every week, so he better get his brother to the fields. Still not sure Joey Batts can read at all. 

 

 

 

• Why was Field 5 so rough to play on? What’s the deal with it? As stated last week, Field 5 is a brand new field that we’ve never played on before. All of the other fields have had years upon years of TSL history played upon them, which over time has led to everyone unearthing random rocks, etc and clearing them away. The more we play on F5, the better it’ll be. 

 

 

 

• What forms of TSL Media are there? I’m new to the league and there’s a LOT going on! Well, I’ve said it before but I’ll get into it again. Every week you can read The Sentinel, usually on Mondays. On Thursdays the TSL QB Power Rankings Committee puts out their article. I’m The Godfather, and I’ve been bringing you this article on Fridays for well over a decade now. There’s also the TSL podcast that comes out on Tuesday or Wednesday (usually) to listen to. There’s also “The Roost”, which some other members of the league record and it's lighthearted and funny most of the time, it's a bit of a different vibe for sure. I think they come out with an episode near the end of the week. Either way, you can check the website nearly every day for more TSL content. 

 

 

 

• If a D2 team wins all of their D1 crossover games and look to be a legit D1 title contender, can they choose to be in the D1 playoffs instead? I think Jeff Krol’s brain would explode, but how fun would it be if, say, The Malones win all of their crossover games, and challenge whoever ends up in 5th place in D1 to a game that determines who plays for what title? I think this should be an option of some sort. How interesting would that be? 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Sticky Bandits vs The Malones

• 11:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Practice Squad

• 12:00 - ILF vs Select

• 1:00 - Come From Behind vs Spinelli’s Plumbing 

• 2:00 - Freeballers vs Grey Hair Don’t Care

• 3:00 - The Herd vs Vaspian

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• All Ryled Up 37, Carlyac Arrest 24

• Syd On My Face 31, D’z Nuts 30

• Dri Girls 1 Cup 38, Steph Infection 30

 

 

 

• Using my Weather Channel App here in Des Moines, Iowa, it says that the Buffalo weather for Saturday is looking to be 78 degrees, but there may be some rain. That’s a bummer. 

 

 

 

• I know it’s really early to even think about the TSL Banquet and the awards that come with it, but good luck to the committee for trying to pick a D2 QB of the Year. Jordan Lawson vs Andy Strug vs Dave Eickhoff vs Ryan Dougherty vs Jeremy Burr is going to be one of the absolute hardest awards to ever decide. That’s a LOT of talent. 

 

 

 

• I think Select is really going to stick around at the top of the D4 standings. 

 

 

 

• Thanks again to all of you who email me each week about the games and what’s going on with your team. But there’s still a bunch of teams I don’t know about! Email me ( This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. ) and say hi! You don’t have to be a captain to email me, just do it anyway. I want to get as many people noticed as possible. 

 

 

 

• I’m sure that this week is going to have some weird results because it’s Labor Day weekend. 

 

 

 

• I know Garrett has needed some help finding a ref or two already this year, so if you’re willing to referee to help out (and make $30 a game), reach out to him, or Jeff Krol, ASAP. Every little bit helps. 

 

 

 

• Three teams that already “need a win” just to get some confidence going: Bullet Club, Eyes Downtown, TMA. I know it’s early in the season, but based on how things have been going, it’ll do all of these teams some good. 

 

 

 

• I’m pretty sure the only reason D3 has all 10 teams make the playoffs is because Jeff Krol is being nice to Topper and Joe K to make sure their teams make it. 

 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 3 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 06 September 2024 12:47

Published: Friday, 06 September 2024 12:47

Written by Jeff Krol

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, welcome to Week 3 of the Fall 2024 TSL season. After two weeks of “getting things settled” and “shaking off the rust”, the calendar turns to September which means one thing: it’s football time. I know, dear reader, that you’re saying “But Godfather, it’s been football time for two weeks now!” and while I understand where you’re coming from, it’s not quite the same thing. The first two weeks of the TSL season are always the “let’s get the hang of this” weeks. In the Spring sessions, that’s usually a reflection of teams not having played football together for 6 months (indoor football is a different game, it doesn’t count) and they’re getting the cobwebs out of their heads after hibernating for the winter. In the Fall, it’s more about finishing up the end of the summer: some people have weddings, vacations, parties, and various other things to do where their focus isn’t squarely on football. 

But now? It’s after Labor Day, and other than not wearing white, the only other thing that matters is football. The weather turns to “football” weather, the NFL comes back, and your focus is squarely on the prize: Social Co-Ed Football Immortality. This doesn’t mean the first two weeks of the season mean nothing, no. It just means that the many, many storylines that have begun to develop will play out in all sorts of different ways. Some of them will remain a theme of the season, others will fade away. But which ones will that be? It’s hard to tell right now, but here are the developing storylines so far this season. 

 

 

• The Wet Bandits mean business. They’re already 3-0 and averaging nearly 50 points a game. They’ve handled their opponents with ease. 

 

 

 

• The Malones should have gone to D1. It’s already apparent, as The Malones are 2-1, with the one loss coming in a 49-42 battle with the defending D1 champs in the Sticky Bandits. The Malones apparently led by two scores at halftime as well. 

 

 

 

• Other 3-0 teams include the Cunning Stunts and the ILFers (we don’t have enough webspace to constantly print out the full name of the Becca’s Daddy Jason and their Incredibly Loving Friends each time) who are on a crash course to meet in the D4 finals, and I’m not quite sure the rest of the division will crash this party. 

 

 

 

• D1/D2 Crossovers look to be a success so far, even with D1 up in the series 4-1. Can the D2 teams close the gap? 

 

 

 

• D6 looks to be a tale of haves and the have nots as half the division is 2-0, the other half 0-2. 

 

 

 

• D3 looks to be back to its fun, closely contested division from top to bottom now that The Malones have gone away. 

 

 

 

• Grey Hair Don’t Care - about defense. GDHC is 1-3 (only beating a D1 team, if you can consider the Freeballers that), but they’re allowing nearly 43 points a game. 

 

 

 

• GUCCI and The Kellers (Mixin It Up) haven’t played a game yet, but you have to assume both teams will be in the mix for TSL gold come October. 

 

 

 

• Steph Infection continues to be the gold standard in Breakfast Club, already out to a dominating lead in the division. 

 

 

 

• Extra shoutout to the two crippled captains of BC who continue to show their support for their teams despite having 2.5 good legs between the two of them (Dri and Carly).

 

 

 

• Frodo figuring it out? Maybe. They’re 2-1, but that’s 2-0 in D2, 0-1 in D1. Even still, there’s better vibes coming out of the Swaggins camp than have been in recent memory. 

 

 

 

• Vaspian is 1-3, but they’re about 3 plays away from being 3-1. That’s exciting for the long running franchise. 

 

Those are just a few of the running storylines we have in the TSL so far this season, and in just a short time we’ll be able to see how many of those storylines actually play out and which new ones will develop over the next 6 weeks of TSL football. 

D1/D2 

 

Last Week’s Games

 

D1

 

Wet Bandits 50, Frodo Swaggins 31 

 

The Wet Bandits continue their hot start to the season, putting up 50 on Frodo, who are still looking better than they have before. 

D1/D2 Crossover Corner

 

Sticky Bandits 49, The Malones 42

Grey Hair Don’t Care 45, Freeballers 26

Eyes Downtown 30, Scared Hitless 29

Frodo Swaggins 36, The Untouchaballs 7

 

D1 leads the season series 4-1. 

 

The Crossovers continue to provide excellent drama as Sticky completes the comeback on The Malones, Grey Hair Don’t Care gets D2 on the board as they throttle the Freeballers in the Dave Eickhoff Revenge Game, and then Eyes Downtown BARELY squeaks by Scared Hitless. There was another game where Frodo just decimated The Untouchaballs, and the more worrisome thing I heard is that there are rumors Burr ISN’T the QB? 

 

D2

 

Mavericks 47, Can’t Touch This 31

The Malones 52, Grey Hair Don’t Care 14

 

The Mavericks returned to the TSL and it didn’t take them long to remind everyone just who they are. After two weeks of chatter about The Malones and Can’t Touch This, the Mavs showed up and dominated. Speaking of The Malones, they took out their frustrations on the loss to Sticky on GHDC in a big, big way. 

This Week’s Games

 

D1

 

Wet Bandits vs Freeballers (+10) - Maybe things will get better for the Freeballers, but it’s been a rough start so far. Getting Hogan back isn’t a bad thing, but recovering from losing Sean (again, for them) is hard to do. Speaking of Sean, here he comes to obliterate his old friends with the Wet Bandits on a tear. This might be a car wreck, and if you’re at the fields, consider looking away. WET BANDITS BY 17

 

D1/D2 Crossover Corner

 

Sticky Bandits vs Can’t Touch This (+8) - Sticky took all they could handle from The Malones last week, and now they get to see what Can’t Touch This brings to the table. CTT is a similar challenge: they have fantastic females, they have a QB who can throw the ball a mile, and they have dudes that can play. Oh, and they don’t talk nearly the same amount of trash on top of it. I expect a close game that Sticky pulls away late in. STICKY BANDITS BY 14

 

The Malones vs Eyes Downtown (+3) - That’s right everyone, we’ve come to a point where not only is a D2 favored over the D1 team, but that D1 team is Eyes Downtown. ED continues to spiral a bit, and I don’t think a 1 point win over Scared Hitless is going to make them feel like they’re ‘back on track’ by any means. The Malones let a big win slip away last weekend. They don’t make the same mistake twice. THE MALONES BY 8

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Mavericks (+7) - The Mavericks begin their foray into the crossover games this season with Frodo Swaggins, who are 2-0 in these competitions already. This is a game everyone should be watching, as I can envision Jordan and Garrett both making plays left and right. This feels like a 48-44 type game. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 4

 

Wet Bandits vs Mavericks (+10) - Things get progressively harder for the Mavericks as they get the Wet Bandits immediately after Frodo. The Mavericks have the ability to win this game, make no mistake about it, but the Mavs also have to make no mistakes to make that win happen. WET BANDITS BY 18

 

Scared Hitless vs Freeballers (+3) - Scared Hitless is oh so close to breaking through in a big way, and this game might be the one for them. They barely lost to Eyes Downtown last week, and now they get an arguably easier task in the Freeballers who are still settling into their new roster. SH takes advantage. SCARED HITLESS BY 7

 

D2

 

Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Untouchaballs (NO LINE) - Vegas couldn’t turn out a line this week as the rumors of a Jeremy Burr-less Untouchaballs squad get louder and louder. Grey Hair has it together at least, and should add to the win column here. GREY HAIR DON’T CARE BY 8

D3

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Bullet Club 25, Jabronies 6

Practice Squad 38, Buffalo Vice 35

Passing While Intoxicated 41, Straw Hats 30

Let’s Get Reccked 54, Straw Hats 36

Bullet Club gets back into the win column after a nice victory over the Jabronies. Practice Squad and Buffalo Vice have a great battle for first place in the division early on, with the Squad sneaking the win out. PWI gets their first official D3 victory over the Straw Hats, although it remains to be seen if the Straw Hats are a D3 team or not, as they went 0-2 on the day, allowing 95 points, also losing to LGR. 

This Week’s Games

 

Practice Squad vs Straw Hats (+10) - Not being able to stop anyone isn’t the best for the Straw Hats, and it’s even worse when they get to take on the top team in the division next. Practice Squad has been looking for these kinds of results since they dropped back down to D3, and it looks like B has this offense humming along. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 7

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Topper’s All Stars & Todd (EVEN) - Rumors of Topper showing up to play in this game just so he can shut down Colorado Mike with one arm are circulating. Not quite sure where PWI slots in in D3 just yet, but a strong performance here will give us more of an idea. TAST needs to start getting the offense going here, or they’ll find themselves on the wrong side of Buddy Lee’s wrath. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 8

 

Buffalo Vice vs Jabronies (+8) - I’m not sure what Stem Cell injections/HGH that Buffalo Vice took in the offseason, but they’re looking younger, faster, and less “muscle pull-y” than ever. Andy Clark’s Air Raid offense is clicking, and Caitlyn Mason still continues to break the ankles of even people just watching her on the sidelines. The Jabronies still have a great team with Joe Miano at the helm, and they have sneaky good girls too. They could use this win here though. BUFFALO VICE BY 10

 

Mix’n It Up vs Bullet Club (+4) - The Kellers and Bullet Club have put on some good shows over the last few seasons, and I expect more of the same here. I’m assuming Mix is going to be most of the same squad that we’ve seen over the last few seasons, which means Damien is going to be throwing to Mom, Dad, Aunt Katie, and Uncle Stegs a lot. While you may be asking yourself “The Kellers are getting old, aren’t they?”, I’d like to remind you that Kellers don’t peak athletically until they’re 50 anyway. MIX’N IT UP BY 2

 

Bullet Club vs Topper’s All Stars & Todd (+3) - The second leg of a double header for both teams, we get our Joe K vs Topper battle that nobody asked for. TAST was last seen running from Bullet Club in the playoffs and forfeiting. All jokes aside, look for a closely contested game where the first defense to make a mistake could cost their team a win. BULLET CLUB BY 8

 

Wanderers vs Let’s Get Reccked (+3) - Both of these teams have followed the same script time and time again: The Wanderers win a whole bunch of games in the regular season, get called the best in D3, and blow it in the playoffs. Let’s Get Reccked is a team that everyone thinks SHOULD win a whole bunch of games in the regular season, but instead they always end up slightly under .500, win a game in the playoffs, and then blow it in the playoffs. Since it's currently the regular season? WANDERERS BY 1

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

ILFers 44, Select 39

Cunning Stunts 45, Creekers 20

ILFers 45, The Herd 22

Cunning Stunts 52, Vaspian 27

The Herd 34, Vaspian 28

 

The narrative of D4 is a Cunning Stunts vs ILFers showdown waiting to happen was only helped this week as both teams went 2-0, scoring 44+ points in all 4 games. The ILFers got wins over a VERY game Select (who has an outside shot at being a real problem in D4), and The Herd. The Stunts went 2-0 with wins over the Creekers (who are off to a rough start this season) and Vaspian, who would end up 0-2 on the day with a close loss to The Herd (getting their first win) later on. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Cunning Stunts vs ILFers (+7) -  LET’S GO!! The D4 Regular Season Title will more than likely be awarded to the team that wins this game. This is a D4 title preview, and one has to wonder if the ILFers can keep up in gender TDs. Buddy Lee has been great for them at QB, and after many failures at the position, we’re finally seeing their true form. The Stunts though, man, they just keep pounding away at everyone. They’re so damn good. That’s it. That’s the tweet.  CUNNING STUNTS BY 8

 

Vaspian vs Creekers (+4) - I think I’ve made it clear that the Vaspian Vibes are quite nice, despite the record, but what’s going on with the Creekers? Despite coming into the season with some expectations to be awesome, the only thing that’s been awesome for them (of course) is Mullet Guys’ mullet. VASPIAN BY 8

 

Select vs Cobblestone (+14) - Darryl Carr QB Superstar had a week off to get his mind right, and now he gets to focus on the upstart Select team who everyone is talking about. The problem might be that they’re talking about both of these teams for the wrong reasons. Cobblestone makes you wonder if they’ll even have a full team this time around, and Select’s good play has been overshadowed by infighting and Malikye (this is probably spelled wrong) being way too good for the division. Hopefully, both of these teams show up and play a good clean game. I think that’s what we’ll see. SELECT BY 18

 

GirthQuakes vs The Herd (EVEN) - The Roaring Herd got a win last week and they’re looking to continue this upward trend against a GQ team that we still don’t quite know what they are yet. However, the GQs definitely have the TSL knowledge that will give them an advantage in any game they play this season, and it’ll come in handy this week. GIRTHQUAKES BY 13

 

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Stir The Sauce 34, Pit Harade 6

Come From Behind 56, Spinelli’s Plumbing 28

Not So Sticky 24, Pit Harade 12

 

Come From Behind put up a bunch of points as they tend to do, doubling up Spinelli’s. Pit Harade got a rude welcome to D5, going 0-2 in losses to Stir The Sauce and Not So Sticky. 

This Week’s Games

 

Stir The Sauce vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+7) - Stir The Sauce nearly won the D5 title last season, and they got off to a good start to the season last week as they try to win the title. Spinelli’s return to football has had mixed results so far. They’re 0-2, yet they’re averaging 33 points a game. They just need to fix the defense and they’ll be okay. Not sure that happens just yet. STIR THE SAUCE BY 5

 

Powerpuff Girls vs Not So Sticky (+7) - Not So Sticky will have their hands full this week as they get the PPGs who have been continuing their rise through the rankings of the TSL as they get better and better. They have superstars left and right, and NSS is going to be challenged to keep up with all of the PPG firepower. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 8

 

Two Tuddies vs Pit Harade (+7) - A rivalry renewed, sort of, as these two former D6 foes meet up in D5, albeit with some changes. The Tud Buds have made some big changes to the roster of course, as they absorbed some of the Reset Warriors and at least in Week 1 it made a difference. PH didn’t seem to have most of their big guns last weekend, and were without QB Dave Walter as well. I’m not sure which team will have the advantage here, but this should be a close one. TWO TUDDIES BY 2

 

Come From Behind vs Stir The Sauce (+3) - Come From Behind can just put up points with ease, and in the blink of an eye you’re down 20 points. The LoVullo football DNA is strong, and when this team is on the same page, look out. Stir The Sauce will be coming off of a prior game, which could also spell trouble for them, and Wrestler Dan’s speed and height combos can be matched by some of the CFB guys as well. Should be interesting to watch. COME FROM BEHIND BY 7

 

Powerpuff Girls vs GUCCI (+7) - The PPGs will really get a chance to see how well they match up against the class of D5 this time around, as GUCCI makes their Fall 2024 debut, finally! Kelly Kane and company have been doing this so long together that I don’t think rust will be a factor, but getting to play the well oiled machine the PPGs are becoming will. The girls lay their claim to the throne, officially. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 12

D6

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Day By Day 29, Dogg Pound 16

Sausage McMuffins 45, TMA 29

Blitzkrieg 35, Balls Deep 14

Blitzkrieg 40, Purple Nurples 31

 

Day By Day continues the upward trend, easily handling the Dogg Pound to stay undefeated on the season. The McMuffins hold off TMA, who, it turns out, plays much better when a QB shows up for them. Fall Blitzkrieg is in full effect, going 2-0 in their first action of the season, easily dispatching Balls Deep, and then pulling away from the Purple Nurples. 

This Week’s Games

 

Sticky Laces vs TMA (EVEN) - TMA gave us a glimpse of the TMA of old last week, and I’m expecting things to continue here. Once they get a bit of confidence, they’re a much better squad. They still have studs on the team like Brent and Val, so it’s not like all is lost. Sticky Laces started off hot, which was good for them after a rough opening season. I’m not sure the week off helped them though. TMA BY 10

 

Fall Blitzkrieg vs Sausage McMuffins (EVEN) - Championship preview? Both teams have started off great, as they’re 2-0 and won rather easily so far. The McMuffins score a little more but FBK has a little better defense. Both teams are going to get up for this one. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 1

 

Balls Deep vs Dogg Pound (EVEN) - Two 0-2 teams are out here looking for the first win of the season. Both teams are struggling on offense so far, as they’re both averaging 16 points a game (Okay, DP is at 16.5) and until they figure out how to score more, this is going to be a tough year. However the DP defense has been slightly better, and because of that, i’ll give them the nod here. DOGG POUND BY 2

 

Day By Day vs Purple Nurples (+6) - Day By Day has just been playing solid, systematic, good football, while the Purple Nurples are sort of the opposite, just kind of winging it and seeing what sticks. Sometimes that can lead to scoring outbursts, sometimes it leads to frustration. Give me the team that’s been steady lately. DAY BY DAY BY 6

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• The big one, as always, is how does the weather look for this weekend? My weather channel app here in Des Moines, Iowa tells me that Buffalo weather is looking like Buffalo weather: wet, 60 degrees, and a bit of wind. Football weather, sure. Get your cleat cleaners out for this week. And probably a change of clothes. 

 

 

 

• After such a close one against Sticky, do The Malones win the rest of their crossover games? As much as I’d love to say yes, I think The Malones end up losing to the Wet Bandits whenever they play as well. 

 

 

 

• What teams are looking to be struggling early on? Eyes Downtown just simply isn’t Eyes Downtown as of late. Freeballers really seem to be struggling so far this year. We might have jumped the gun on the Jabronies. The Untouchaballs might be boned if the rumors are true. 

• Who’s having a really great season so far? It’s not so much a team, but a player. I think Buddy Lee is really turning into one of the best QBs in the league. He’s 4-1 this season, winning with PWI, ILFers, and in Breakfast Club too. The only loss he’s had so far is the PWI game where they didn’t have enough girls to start the year. More and more eyes are on him as his storyline develops.

 

 

 

• How is Breakfast Club looking after one week? The TSL’s often imitated but never duplicated draft league division is looking spot on after week one. We had two games that were incredibly close (1 and 4 points), and while the other one was a bit of a blowout (20 points), that’s more due to the losing team losing Captain Dri unexpectedly than anything. BC is the best thing a TSL player can do. It’s fun, and it’s much less stressful than your regular games. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Joey Batts is really, really good. I know he’s been telling you that for the last decade, but he just feels like he’s on another level this season with the Wet Bandits and Cunning Stunts. Hot take: he wins both titles this year. 

 

 

 

• If the Jeremy Burr rumors are true and he bailed on the Untouchaballs and being a transcendent QB just to chase a title or whatever he’s doing, that’s incredibly sad and the league just got worse overall for it. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• D’s Nutz 32, Dri Girls 1 Cup 30

• All Ryled Up 35, Syd On My Face 20

• Steph Infection 44, Carlyac Arrest 30

 

 

 

• Games of The Day:

• 10:00 - The Malones vs Eyes Downtown

• 11:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Sausage McMuffins

• 12:00 - ILFers vs Cunning Stunts

• 1:00 - Creekers vs Vaspian

• 2:00 - Powerpuff Girls vs GUCCI

• 3:00 - GirthQuakes vs The Herd

 

 

 

• B’S BROTHER MADE HIS RETURN TO THE FIELDS AND WE WERE ALL BETTER FOR IT! 

 

 

 

• Let’s Get Reccked vs Wanderers is also going to be a very good game, feel free to watch that one. 

 

 

 

• Refs not showing up to games, not putting down cones, and not picking up the dog toys afterwards is not a great look for the league, but it also shows the character of the good people of the league that stepped up and stepped in when help was needed in a split second. 

 

 

 

• Dog Day is official for next week, September 14th, from 12-2. Get ready to give all the love to the pups and kittens! 

 

 

 

• People who worry way too much about an “overpowered player” in a certain division really just don’t believe in themselves or their own team enough. Accept the challenge and beat them. 

 

 

 

• As always, if you want me to write more about your team and shout out your players, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. today. Stop dragging your feet and do it like so many others have! 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 1 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 23 August 2024 13:03

Published: Friday, 23 August 2024 13:03

Written by Jeff Krol

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, on Saturday, August 24th at 10 am Eastern Standard Time in the Year of Our Lord 2024, it all begins again. That’s right! After nearly two months, The Race For Social Co-Ed Immortality begins anew! The TSL Spring 2024 session brought us lots of twists and turns before we arrived at our final champions, and the TSL Fall 2024 session looks to do the same! Every single season is its own story, as new teams and new players show up to do battle at the Lenny Alba Fields at The Rose Garden, looking to etch their name into the good side of TSL history. So, while the tenured TSLer knows who I am, let me tell you, the new person to the league, just who I am. I am The Godfather, a displaced TSLer who moved to Des Moines, Iowa many years ago for work, and in an effort to continue to follow the league I love (and at the time that a LOT of my friends played in before most of them got old), I’ve been writing articles for over a decade, correctly guessing game winners, and highlighting what’s going on in the league. You can usually catch my musings every Friday during the season. 

 

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s try to catch everyone up on what’s happened since the Spring Championship Saturday. First things first, after much debate, there was no massive D1-D2 merger, sort of. This year, both divisions have 11 teams total (5 for D1, 6 for D2) and while that ALMOST got us to a 6 team D1 and a 6 team D2 (along with a Not 10-team D3), we’ll still have two separate playoffs for the divisions. However, there are going to be MORE D1/D2 Crossover games than ever, and if there isn’t a clear “D1 is still stomping D2” type of result, I think we’ll inch even closer to the ‘realignment’ in the Spring 2025 season. But for the Fall? D2 gets all of the fun to pull “upsets” left and right with the added bonus of going for their own championship anyway. 

 

Another fun thing is that despite the Rose Garden claiming they were breaking ground on the Topper Dome this year, it appears that plan is shelved for yet another winter? The result for the league, however, is the addition of a 5th field! This is good since it gives us another field to play on, which means games can get done sooner, but it’s bad because that means we need to get two more refs every hour. Week 1’s ref schedule already has some new faces on it, and if you’d like to join in to help, please contact Jeff or Garrett as soon as you can. The 5th field also gives us some wiggle room when it comes to getting in make up games, etc. 

 

Every offseason gives us some team turnover, and no two TSL leagues ever really look the same. So here’s a quick catch up on what’s been happening: 

 

Same Faces, New Places (teams that changed divisions)

 

 

• The Freeballers get all of the credit in the world, as they won D2 and they went straight to D1, no questions asked. 

 

 

 

• The Malones won D3, and kind of blew everyone out of the water in doing so, and they ended up in D2, as they should have. I’m actually surprised they didn’t jump straight to D1. Word is that Rhace is scared of D1. More on this as it develops. 

 

 

 

• Passing While Intoxicated made the leap into D3 after their D4 title win in the Spring. They add to what was already an exciting D3 lineup of teams. 

 

 

 

• Pit Harade jumped up to D5 after a couple of winning seasons that fell short in the championship aspect of things. 

 

 

 

• TMA is back in D6, where it all started for them so many seasons ago. Here’s hoping they find the success they had back then once again. 

 

Same Faces, Same Places (Championship teams that didn’t move up so we can shame them)

 

 

• Sticky Bandits stayed put in D1 after winning the title last season, weak. 

• Back That Pass Up decided not to exist anymore after winning D6. 

• THK also decided not to exist anymore after winning D5, at least for the Fall session.  More on them in a moment.

 

 

Old Faces, Right Places (Teams that have come back to the TSL after not playing last season)

 

 

• Grey Hair Don’t Care comes back and jumps right into the D2 mix, and they get a 10th game because of it! (It was a scheduling thing, but still.)

 

 

 

• Spinelli’s Plumbing returns, and they’re in D5 again. I’m pretty sure the last time that happened, they averaged 47 points a game or something ridiculous. Look out D5!

 

 

New Faces, Right Places (Brand new teams to the TSL who have either finally come to the big leagues, or just started here in the first place.)

 

 

• Straw Hats in D3 appears to be a Cobblestone offshoot, but one has to assume these players will show up more often? 

 

 

 

• GirthQuakes in D4 is a Matt Kieta - Dylan Jaloza - Bobby McConnell side project of sorts, but they’re bringing in a few new people to the TSL in doing so. 

 

 

 

• Select (Not sure if this is their team name, or if they just kept “Select” in the “Team Name” box on the registration form and went with it?) in D4 is a new team that Mark Harzynski of Tater Tots fame formed. Excited to see how they do this season. 

 

 

Same Faces, New Names (Teams that Rebranded) 

 

 

• Wet Bandits in D1 are the newest incarnation of the “if you can’t beat ‘em, change your team name to honor them since they own you” name of whatever the Legends used to be. They were Eyes Uptown last year. 

 

 

 

• Mix’n It Up in D3 is the newest name for the Keller clan, although they never should’ve strayed from 3rd and Schlong and everyone knows it. 

 

 

 

• The Herd in D4 is The Roaring 20s from a season ago. 

 

 

 

• Day by Day is the former Just Joshing in D6.

 

 

 

• Purple Nurple are the former Mighty (Mighity?) Drunks in D6.

 

 

In Memoriam (Teams that we lost this season)

 

 

• Tater Tots always get top billing here in the Fall, mainly because they never play in the fall session, but always come back for the spring. They’ll be missed. 

 

 

 

• Puckett All-Stars showed LOTS of promise last season, and I was looking forward to seeing them improve even more this season. But all is not lost! It just appears at least some of their girls came down with pregnancy, and once the parasite is removed, they’ll look to return in the Spring! (Kidding of course, congrats!)

 

 

 

• Reset Warriors lasted one season before they merged with Two Tuddies, which has led to some interesting changes for the Tud Buds this season. 

 

 

 

• Back That Pass Up won D6, and I’m pretty sure Buddy said that was it for them on the final podcast of last session.  Despite making an attempt to keep the band together, they couldn’t do it, but Jeff tells me a good chunk of them have other homes throughout the league for the Fall. 

 

 

 

• Travis Henry’s Kids were being dragged back to D4 kicking and screaming, knowing they don’t have the QB talent to win the big one in that division. Langley reportedly said he’d go to D4 “if I can have Stoner Dave, Ralph Finney, and Katie Salisbury”, and when Jeff easily said no, John canned the team in protest, robbing us all of a season of Pistol Pete. 

 

Well, that should just about catch everyone up on the comings and goings of the league to get us to where we are now. The Fall session of TSL is always a blast as it coincides with big college football games being on at the bar, everyone wanting off the weekend of Fall Fest in Ellicottville, but it also has the occasional potential snowstorm as well. And maybe a Halloween Bowl. The real question, of course, is which teams are going to rise up and grab the Social Co-Ed Football Immortality? Let’s take a look here. 

 

D1:

 

Odds To Win The Championship: 

 

Wet Bandits (3-1)

Sticky Bandits (5-1)

Eyes Downtown (5-1)

Frodo Swaggins (20-1)

Freeballers (100-1)

 

Preseason Hype: On paper, the Wet Uptowns have the most talented roster, but as the TSL has shown us time and time again, having the best athletes doesn't always mean you’re going to win. After an offseason of “will they break up?”, the Wet Uptowns stuck together to try to win this thing yet again, and after a year without a title, they’re itching to get there. Sticky returns as the reigning, defending, undisputed, TSL heavyweight champions of the world. The entire squad is back, although last year’s difference maker Maggie is apparently injured, so Rylee Moser joins her sister Laura on Sticky this year. No official word yet on if Steve is training in the shadows, ready to step in if something happens to Mike Thomas midseason. I’m assuming yes. Eyes Downtown had their worst season in a long time as a franchise last year, and the whispers that it was because Bobby lost his edge and focused his time elsewhere are only getting louder this season as he’s starting a D4 team and having “other fun”. They return the same squad from last year (slightly surprising, I expected a big free agent pickup) as they try to win back their title. Frodo Swaggins has been the whipping post for D1 for a bit, but last year was the worst of it, as Garrett fell in love for real and his body just didn’t know how to react to those feelings, throwing him off his game (Or he’s just getting older, same thing). After a few seasons where Frodo tried to get fresh, new people to join their squad, they’ve decided to go the complete other way this offseason, acquiring approximately 7,429 games of Social Co-Ed Football experience, adding Kevin Zack from Sticky Bandits, and coaxing Micah Hanford out of semi-retirement. While those are some big names to grab if this was 2010, they’re still pretty good ones for 2024 too. And last but not least, the Freeballers join D1, which is great. And before Scott gets mad at me, this time you’re not 100-1 as a joke, D1 is hard, and there are some GOOD teams in your way. There will be some growing pains, and losing Sean, of course, is hard. But Freeballers are a feel good story regardless, as Hogan returns to the field after some challenging time off. He’s the league’s hero this season no matter what. 

 

Preseason Prediction: Wet Bandits finally get it together after a year of not doing so, wrestling the D1 title away from Sticky on Championship Saturday. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Sticky Bandits vs Freeballers (+10) - In an unsurprising move, Jeff Krol gives his squad the weakest team in D1 to start the season as a tuneup. Hogan has some rust to knock off, Freeballers have to adjust slightly, and it’ll be a promising start, but not a winning start. STICKY BANDITS BY 13

 

Wet Bandits vs Eyes Downtown (+3) - These two teams look to get their suspensions out of the way early again this year, as they meet up for another Week 1 battle. One has to think cooler heads will prevail this time though, as they have a common enemy in the Sticky Bandits. I expect a hard fought game that will come down to the wire. Give me the team with the better QB in that scenario. WET BANDITS BY 3

CROSSOVER CORNER! 

 

With D1/D2 Crossover games happening nearly every single week, this is where I’ll normally post those game predictions in a regular article. However, for today, I’ll do it after I go over the teams in D2. 

D2:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

The Malones (3-1)

Mavericks (4-1)

Can’t Touch This (6-1)

The Untouchaballs (8-1)

Grey Hair Don’t Care (10-1)
Scared Hitless (12-1)

 

Preseason Hype: I’m not betting against The Malones until I can see someone slow them down and stop them. They were a juggernaut last year in D3, and word is that they’ve only gotten better for this year. Like I said before, I wish we saw them in D1, but that will have to wait until Spring. They join a ridiculously even division that almost saw a 5 way tie for first place last season. The Mavericks are right there with them, and while the good vibes team of the Spring fell short of a title, they should definitely be in the mix this season as well, although losing Misty Himes for the season (on the IR with “wedding”) is going to hurt. Can’t Touch This actually got through their wedding stuff last season, so they can focus even more on the on field product this year. After a long losing streak last season, they started winning games, including crossovers, and had a very good shot at the D2 title. Despite offseason rumors that Ben Stack was going to join CTT, he wasn’t allowed to leave Bobby, but CTT apparently signed the good Stack, Kate, to a contract anyway. The Untouchaballs are back yet again, and they’re returning mostly the same team, adding Steph Czaja along the way. I was informed of some Burr leaving the team rumors, but he’s just too damn good of a QB to run to play second fiddle to anyone else, so I won’t believe it until I see it. Grey Hair Don’t Care returns after a season off, and while most of the team is coming back to the TSL, QB Dave isn’t, as he led the Freeballers to the D2 title game and sent them to D1. Can he win two in a row with two different teams? Lastly, Scared Hitless continues to be a very good team, although the Travis experiment is no longer. Losing him hurts of course, but they always seem to find their way along the course of the season. 

 

Preseason Prediction: The Malones beat The Untouchaballs in a ridiculously entertaining game that will have the best, loudest smack talk session between Burr and Rhace that the TSL hasn’t seen in ages. 

This Week’s Games: 

 

Crossover Corner! 

 

Can’t Touch This vs Frodo Swaggins (EVEN) - Our first Crossover game is already an even line. That’s exciting! CTT, if memory serves me correctly, beat Frodo in a Crossover game last season, so here we are with a slight grudge match as Frodo tries to “get one back”. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 3

 

Wet Bandits vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+10) - I don’t yet know what GHDC is going to look like in their return, so it’s hard to pick them against the D1 favorites. WET BANDITS BY 14

D2 Games!

 

The Malones vs Scared Hitless (+7) - On the one hand, The Malones win games because they’re fast and athletic as heck. But so are Scared Hitless. SH has won D2, they’ve played in D1, and they know what it takes to win in the upper divisions. They have the knowhow, which goes a long way here. But The Malones have something to prove, and I can’t imagine them not being hyped for Week 1. THE MALONES BY 13

 

Can’t Touch This vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+6) - As I said before, I don’t know what to expect from GHDC, but I know what to expect from CTT. Right now, they’re in a winning phase, and I expect that to continue. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 8

D3:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Wanderers (3-1)

Let’s Get Reccked (4-1)

Mix’n It Up (6-1)

Jabronies (7-1)

Bullet Club (11-1)

Practice Squad (12-1)

Buffalo Vice (12-1)

Passing While Intoxicated (12-1)

Topper’s All Stars & Todd (15-1)

Straw Hats (20-1)

 

Preseason Hype: D3 has 10 teams, which works because D3 tends to be the division with the closest games and an “anyone can win it” feel to it. Granted, The Malones disrupted that last season, but they’re in D2 now, and they’re replaced by PWI (who should fit in wonderfully here) and Straw Hats (who I don’t know enough about, but sure!). The Wanderers are on top here as they should be. They’re essentially the same team they always are, and stopping Sal and Stoner Dave feels impossible at times. Here comes 9 one score games. Let’s Get Reccked has a LOT of talent but never quite puts it together for one reason or another. They could still use some girl depth, but Molly and Becca more than hold their own. The Kellers are always near the top of the standings, and this could be the breakout season for Damien. The Kellers are due for a championship, aren’t they? The Jabronies return, but they took a significant blow in the offseason, losing Carly to a broken everything in her leg. This is why NFL teams don’t let their players play on Arena League teams during the offseason. Between losing Carly and Lindsey still being hurt from last season, they dusted off Emma and brought her back to the league. She was on her way to being a star in the TSL before life took her elsewhere, let’s see how she does now that she’s back. Bullet Club returns largely the same team from last season, as their inability to close out games last season led to their early exit in the playoffs. Practice Squad is back again, adding new girls to the roster to take some of the pressure off Ashtin and Renee, and B too. Buffalo Vice is the same crew they’ve been for 100 years now, but hopefully a bit more healthy than last season! PWI, like I said, makes the jump up to D3 and added TSL veteran Dorene to the mix, who will be right at home on a team with “Intoxicated” in their name. TAST returns, although defensive stalwart Topper might miss a game or two to start the year, but the bigger news is that they’ve coaxed future TSL Hall of Famer Cheryl Julicher out of semi-retirement. That could pay big dividends. Lastly, we have Straw Hats who I don’t know too much about just yet. 

 

Preseason Prediction: The Wanderers continue their solid brand of football dominance to pull off the championship victory over Mix’n It Up. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Wanderers vs Jabronies (+3) - The Jabronies are going to be players for the D3 title mix for sure, but getting the D3 favorites off the bat when they’re working in new players is just bad luck. WANDERERS BY 3

 

Mix’n It Up vs Straw Hats (+8) - If there’s ever a good litmus test for how well a new team will do in D3, it’s seeing how good they look against the Kellers. I’m sure the Kellers will be mixing things up on the field, which will give us a good look at what the Hats will bring to the table this season. MIX’N IT UP BY 10

 

Bullet Club vs Buffalo Vice (+7) - Two teams in a must win game to start the season? Sign me up. Vice and The Club both are looking to be around the 7th seed in the league projections, so this tiebreaker is going to mean a lot in October. The reason that matters is while everyone makes the playoffs, the first round is 7v10 and 8v9. This should be a good one. BULLET CLUB BY 3

 

Jabronies vs Topper’s All-Stars & Todd (+6) - With potentially no Topper to shutdown Eric Kleckler on deep balls, Jabronies could have a field day here. I’m expecting a lower scoring game in this one that comes down to the wire. JABRONIES BY 4

 

Wanderers vs Bullet Club (+8) - A tradition unlike any other, I’m pretty sure the Wanderers have played Bullet Club in Week 1 multiple times since they’ve joined the TSL, and yet again they get another double header to start the year. Marquee games like this (and for example, Wet Uptowns vs Eyes Downtown) playing in Week 1 is kind of fun to do. However, Bullet Club feels a step behind the Wanderers currently, so I don’t think this game is going to be what we’re used to. WANDERERS BY 10

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Practice Squad (EVEN) - It’s like looking in a mirror. It’s a bit symbolic that PWI plays Practice Squad in their first game in D3, because they’ve essentially taken the path that Practice Squad forged before them. Winning D5, moving up and winning D4, and now moving up to D3 (Okay, PS blew the D5 title in OT, I know, but we’ll give a pass here). PWI will have slight growing pains, which will give PS the edge they’re going to need. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 1. 

D4

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Cunning Stunts (2-1)

ILF (4-1)

Creekers (6-1)

GirthQuakes (10-1)

Select (15-1)

Vaspian (17-1)

Cobblestone (18-1)

The Herd (20-1)

 

Preseason Hype: There isn’t much to love about D4 this season, because there are a lot of questions after the top teams. The Cunning Stunts look to maybe actually win a championship this time around, and they stole Maddie Norton from the PowerPuff Girls to help them do it. ILF returns everyone, but they added Buddy Lee at QB to solidify the position, which might get them over the hump. The Creekers continue to get better, and Quentin Carbone showed up and showed out at the wine tournament, which can only mean good things for the team. After the Top 3, there’s just a bunch of question marks. The GQs have the familiar names of Bobby, Kieta, and Dylan (clearly using nice guy Dylan to counteract the general “Ugh. Bobby and Kieta?” feeling that refs around the TSL already feel. Select is very Tater Tots-esque, so hopefully they’ll make some noise right away. Vaspian always seems to go through roster issues, so we don’t get a good read on them until Week 7. Cobblestone, same idea. And The Herd might have the worst odds, but they might be the bet to make as one of the best QBs in the league’s history, Mark Dalfonso, dusts himself off to help the new guys get it together. 

 

Preseason Prediction: The Cunning Stunts finally, finally, finally win this thing, outlasting the Creekers in the finals. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

ILF vs Cobblestone (+10) - Despite their absolutely ridiculously long name, ILF is just now going to be ILF no matter what in these articles. It’s exciting to see how they fare with Buddy Lee at QB, and defense was never an issue for them. Cobblestone is still largely an unknown until they show up. ILF BY 18

 

GirthQuakes vs Select (+6) - The oddsmakers apparently are giving Select points simply because of the names we know on the other team. I can’t imagine Bobby is throwing, is he? In D4? If that’s the case perhaps his players are brand new to the league, and I hope he isn’t making them do two-a-days already. Good thing Kieta is there to bring the smiles, fun, and level headedness new teams need. One of these teams is going to have a brand new TSL star on it. But which one? GIRTHQUAKES BY 7

 

Creekers vs Vaspian (+7) - The fun about Vaspian is that you really don’t always know what you’re going to get from them each season. It didn’t used to always be like that, but that’s what happens when people get married and have kids or get a career and forget about how important Social Co-Ed Touch Football is. When they have a consistent team, they can play shutdown D and beat anyone. But right now, the Creekers have been a very good team for a calendar year and show signs of getting better every week. CREEKERS BY 10

 

GirthQuakes vs Cobblestone (+3) - Doubleheader for both squads. Always a fun test for a team in Week 1. GIRTHQUAKES BY 8

 

Select vs Vaspian (EVEN) - This could be quite an entertaining game, another matchup of two teams with doubleheaders. SELECT BY 3

 

Cunning Stunts vs The Herd (+14) - New QB or not, The Herd gets the Cunning Stunts buzzsaw that got even better this offseason. There’s only two ways this game ends: a bloodbath or the biggest upset to start a season ever. CUNNING STUNTS BY 20

D5: 

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

GUCCI (3-1)

Come From Behind (4-1)

Not So Sticky (6-1)

Spinelli’s Plumbing (6-1)

Power Puff Girls (10-1)

Stir The Sauce (12-1)

Two Tuddies (18-1)

Pit Harade (20-1)

 

Preseason Hype: Stop me if you heard this before, but GUCCI and CFB are favorites to win the whole thing in D5. Again. GUCCI chose not to move onto D4 (which they easily could have, despite not winning D5 yet), so Kelly Kane and crew are ready to finally win their first TSL championship this Fall. CFB returns the same squad they’ve had for eternity. Not So Sticky loses Christine Krol (she didn’t ref, no exceptions from Jeff!) but they gain Ricky Recckio, so I think things will be okay for them. Spinelli’s returns and the offensive fireworks will hopefully come with it. The Power Puff Girls made strides last season, although the loss of Maddie is going to hurt a little. I’m sure they’ll be okay. Stir The Sauce returns last season’s team that made a little run as Wrestler Dan and the Buscaglias are primed to take another step this fall. The Two Tuddies made big moves in the offseason, moving on from QB Nick Stutzman to acquire Shirtless Chris’ brother, Shirted Wolcott to throw after the Reset Warriors needed a reset. Pit Harade jumps up to D5 after not winning the D6 title last season. They’ve added old Overcompensators QB Larry to the team after just about everyone played QB at some point last season. Not sure how they’re going to do in D5. 

 

Preseason Predictions: Not So Sticky works their way into the D5 title game where they allow 42 points to Spinelli’s, who wins the title. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Come From Behind vs Power Puff Girls (+7) - The PPG get a tough test to see how they’re going to do this season right out of the gate, as they get Come From Behind. CFB still has Paul’s rocket arm (seriously, we may need PED testing here in the TSL), Harlan’s speed, and Molly and Leslie, so they’re going to be fine here. COME FROM BEHIND BY 12

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Power Puff Girls (+7) - Out of the frying pan and into the fire for the PPGs as their doubleheader brings them Spinelli’s buzzsaw of an offense. Granted, they might be rusty and not on the same page, but I’ve seen them score a lot of points over a lot of seasons and I think it’s like riding a bike for them. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 14

 

Not So Sticky vs Two Tuddies (+7) - A classically fun lighthearted “rivalry” between NSS and the Tud Buds has been around about as long as the Tuddies have been. It’s a good test for the new look Tuddies. NOT SO STICKY BY 3

D6:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Blitzkrieg (3-1)

Sausage McMuffins (5-1)

Balls Deep (7-1)

TMA (8-1)

Purple Nurple (10-1)

Day By Day (10-1)

Sticky Laces (12-1)

Dogg Pound (15-1)

 

Preseason Hype: D6 looks different nowadays with Pit Harade and BTPU moving on. Fall Blitzkrieg is back, and while it felt that maybe they should’ve made a jump up to D5 as well, usually this season is when QB Alex doesn’t play, and they have to reset anyway. BK has the most talent in the division, and they’ve come so close time and time again. This has to be the year, right? The McMuffins return to pick up where they left off last season, and there’s a good chance they’ll be battling for a title. Balls Deep was a bit of a paper tiger last season, but making some improvements on both sides of the ball can make them a contender asap. TMA is back in D6, which is a good thing for them AND the division, as it makes things more competitive for all of D6, and TMA can get their groove back too. After some tough seasons, they should find some more wins here. Purple Nurple (see: Mighty Drunks) look to bring back the same team as before, but they still need to shore up the defensive woes from a season ago. Day By Day (Just Joshing) figured out how football worked during last season, and was easily one of the TSL’s most improved teams as the season ended. They look to build on that this year. Sticky Laces came on at the end of the year as well, and they’ve added some more girls to help get them over the hump. Dogg Pound had a rough first season, but they’re a team that started figuring it out as time went on. 

 

Preseason Prediction: Fall Blitzkrieg continues doing what they do best and blowing it in the playoffs, losing to the McMuffins in the title game. (Maybe I’m trying a reverse jinx, maybe not)

This Week’s Games:

 

Day By Day vs TMA (EVEN) - A good return team for TMA to come back to, Just Josh…Day By Day is a solid opponent for even the oldest of franchises. It’ll be good to see TMA back on the field doing their thing. TMA BY 3

 

Sticky Laces vs Dogg Pound (+3) - These two teams met in the playoffs last season and had quite a good game in the 8v9 battle if I remember correctly. QB Kyle made strides in his first season throwing for the Laces, so look for that to continue. Hopefully the DP found a QB in the offseason, as that was part of their issues last year. STICKY LACES BY 8

 

Balls Deep vs Sticky Laces (+10) - Balls Deep doesn’t always score a ton, but they usually play excellent defense, which should spell trouble for the Laces who are working in new players AND they’ll be on their second game of the day. BALLS DEEP BY 6

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Purple Nurple (+7) - Not sure which version of either team we’ll get here, but if I take the averages of last season, the McMuffins shouldn’t have any issue scoring on the Nurps. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 19

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• Can you pick alternate winners for each division? Sure. Sticky Bandits, The Untouchaballs, Jabronies, ILF, Come From Behind, and Day By Day? 

 

 

 

• Who are the three best long shots to bet on odds wise? I’m only picking teams 10-1 or more here. Stir The Sauce, Select, and Passing While Intoxicated. 

 

 

 

• What’s the best storyline to follow for the Fall 2024 season? I think there’s a lot of good storylines to follow, but the one the entire league should be most interested in is the addition of even more D1/D2 crossover games. D2 teams went 4-4 last season against D1, and now there will be even more games between the two divisions. Some big D2 wins this season would be really interesting for sure. 

 

 

 

• How are the fields after the Spring session? Really good actually! Jeff said the grass grew in nicely, and the 5th field is actually a brand new one that we’ll get to “break in” a bit this season. Expect that new field to be a little rough, but the schedule has been rigged so that every team plays exactly one or two games on that field.  Everyone can share the burden of Field 5 together!

 

 

 

• What division is looking to be the most competitive? It’s probably D2, but I’m going to go with D3 since they have more teams that feel pretty close together. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• You’re looking at a beautiful, 80 degree day tomorrow. Absolutely perfect weather to start the season! 

 

 

 

• Yes, Breakfast Club is back! We have three new captains in Rylee, Carly, and Sydney, and it starts next week! Excited to see what bets they bring to the table. 

 

 

 

• Remember that parking may still be a bit tight, so try not to leave big gaps between your vehicles so we can fit as many cars in the lot as we can. 

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Scared Hitless vs The Malones

• 11:00 - Jabronies vs Wanderers

• 12:00 - Frodo Swaggins vs Can’t Touch This

• 1:00 - Girthquakes vs Select

• 2:00 - Wet Bandits vs Eyes Downtown

• 3:00 - Cunning Stunts vs The Herd

 

 

 

• If you’re willing to help referee, again, please reach out to Jeff Krol, Garrett, Topper, Joe K, Cookie Monster, B’s Brother, Elmo, or whoever you can and they’ll get you in the right direction. 

 

 

 

• If you’re new here, you should know that every week we’ll have 2-3 articles about the league here on the site and I think the podcast is happening again too! There’s tons of league content!

 

 

 

• If you want to lend a hand in helping the league with anything, social media, taking pictures, writing a weekly article, coming on the podcast to talk about your team, etc, please reach out to the same people I listed above (except for Elmo, he doesn’t like helping with this stuff).

 

 

 

• Please remember not to berate the refs even if they make a questionable call or a mistake. Yelling at the refs won’t be tolerated, you’ll get kicked out, and you’ll just look like a douchebag jerk. 

 

 

 

• I was told that Dog Day is returning on September 14th, where the Buffalo Animal Shelter is going to show up to the fields with adoptable pets to play with. Make sure you’re there to adopt your new best friend!

 

 

 

• Remember, if you want to get your team more pub in the article, let me know who you are and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. so that I can get some inside info on your team! 

 

Welcome back TSLers! The Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality is on! Who’s going to win it? 

 

-GF OUT