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Week 7 Thoughts, Picks & Stuff

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 25 September 2020 12:22
Published: Friday, 25 September 2020 12:22
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 64

 

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE TSL UNIVERSE!!

 

Hello! In this, the Year of Our Lord 2020, I hope you find yourselves well.

 

After this article went to press last week, I received an email from none other than JONNY F’N FOOTBALL! I haven’t heard from him in what feels like forever! And naturally, he did what he does best, and guaranteed not only a victory over the Freeballers last week, but by 27 or more points.

 

Historically, his guarantees and bets never go well for him. But this time? My oh my was our guy right here. Scared Hitless obliterated Freeballers 52-0. I was wrong to even suggest this team could sniff a win against a D3 squad.

 

I’m truly sorry Jonny Football. That was my mistake. It won’t happen again. (It’ll happen again.)

 

And that’s the fun of the TSL. Just when you think you have the answers, we change the questions. Teams are starting to round into who they really are this time around. With only a few weeks left in the season, some teams just need to go back to the drawing board. Others can stay on cruise control as they coast into the playoffs like the well-oiled machine they already are. It’s not too late to reinvent yourself! With everyone making the playoffs here, NOW is the time for the teams that just aren’t quite right to make the big adjustments that maybe they were scared to. Give a new QB a try, figure out some new plays. Why not?

 

You don’t lose anything by trying, except maybe getting a lower seed. But as long as you’ve got a guaranteed ticket to the dance, which you do, you can experiment just like you did in your college days.

 

There’s a lot of games to discuss, so lets get to it!

 

D1/D2 Crossover Week Scores:

Public Enemy 28, SITE 14

Morning Wood 18, Why So Serious? 16

Eyes Downtown 29, Jabronies 28

Gryffindor 52, Sticky Bandits 45

Dilf’s 21, Marketing Mayors 0

Tight Ends In Motion 58, Bullet Club 20

 

 

So after all of the talk of the Dilf’s being concerned they weren’t good enough for D1, they go out and win 21-0? Okay, sure, it took Marketing Mayors to forfeit for it to happen, but still. Props to Morning Wood for being the only D2 team to actually win their crossover game. But, let’s talk about how interesting it is that most of the games were really close! Other than Bullet Club getting smacked around by TEIM, all of the D2 teams performed quite well. Yeah, SITE lost by 14 to Public Enemy, but that is still a pretty good score, and I heard that the game was closer that it showed. Eyes Downtown may not have had Bobby, but Jabronies only losing by 1 is still impressive. Gryffindor and Sticky had a barnburner, where defense wasn’t allowed. The record will show that D1 went 4-2 this week against D2, but D2 can claim moral victories left and right. Perhaps the divisions aren’t as far apart as we think.

 

D1 Games This Week:

 

Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown (+2) – OH ITS ON. But, for real this time. The makeup game of all makeup games, the two best teams in the TSL go head to head as they renew their rivalry yet again. There’s some new faces to the party, but the story remains the same: These two teams don’t like each other. The TSL’s top 2 QBs are facing off, assuming Bobby doesn’t blow this game off. (He won’t). First place is on the line, but really so is pride. As for the game itself? I think Public Enemy is rolling a bit more than ED. The signs point to a PE win. So that must mean: EYES DOWNTOWN BY 3

 

Public Enemy vs Marketing Mayors (+11) – 11 should normally be a lot, but with the Mayors’ inability to field a full team, if they field one at all this season, it knocks them down a peg. PE will be emotionally spent whether they win or lose the game before, so they won’t be AS sharp here. But they’ll still win. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 6

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Gryffindor (+1) – You have to like these matchups. Both teams are playing well as they meet each other here. Batts has his new and improved Gryffindor team humming along pretty well right now. TEIM got a much needed “feel good” win in destroying Bullet Club last week. This game gives the winner the inside track to the #3 seed in the playoffs, and the reward is playing the probably #6 seed in Why So Serious, as opposed to a date with Marketing Mayors. This should be a good one, but let’s look for GRYFFINDOR BY 6

 

Eyes Downtown vs Why So Serious? (+14) – Another learning experience for WSS. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 20

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Game:

Peachy Platoon 30, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO 17

 

In the only “proper” D2 matchup this weekend, Peachy overtook Team Topper, knocking them to 0-5 as the Platoon tries out another QB in the scramble to replace Dean.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Dilf’s vs Peachy Platoon (+2) – I love Peachy Platoon and I think it’s a shame they have to deal with this QB issue. It immediately sets them back, but they’re clearly taking my advice from above and they’re fixing this before playoffs. The Dilf’s feel like they’re humming along still. They’re only 3-2 but it feels like the defending champs could be 5-0. They just about always have the best girl on the field with Katie Keller, and they ALWAYS have the most handsome man on the field with Eric Stegs. These intangibles matter people. You can’t catch a football when you’re lost in his eyes. DILFS BY 8

 

Slytherin That End Zone vs Morning Wood (+4) – Okay, first off, I saw The Sentinel use “STEZ” as the SITE acronym. I get that that is 100% technically accurate but let’s get two things straight. First, I make the rules here. I have since 2010. Secondly, SITE looks 4,643 times better than STEZ. Fix that. Anyway, SITE has been the class of D2 so far, and a loss to Public Enemy doesn’t change that. But, others have said they’re getting lucky. Which is it? A little of both. You can see that SITE struggles to put points on the board, but they’re playing great defense to make up for it. They’ve also had a soft schedule. No, playing Morning Wood doesn’t change that. Things are going to get harder for them as the season goes on. Morning Wood took a 2 point win over the “D4 team that’s playing in D1” last week. This is a prove it week for SITE, and I want to see them win by double digits. Show me something Gary. SITE BY 12

 

Dilfs vs SITE (+1) – Seriously Gary, show me something. DILFS BY 9

 

Peachy Platoon vs HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO (+9) – I mean, Peachy JUST won by 13 last week. I’ll look for history to repeat itself as HB just can’t figure it out yet….or Father Time has finally won. PEACHY PLATOON BY 13

 

Sticky Bandits vs Bullet Club (+5) – A tale of teams going in two different directions. Bullet Club was the only team that was embarrassed in their crossover game, as TEIM just dismantled them. That’s what happens when you have your 3rd QB in 4 weeks (this week it was a semi-drunk “birthday” edition of Travis Clev). At some point they’re going to have to decide on a full time QB. This story of “Bullet Club QB troubles” has to be getting old for the players too. Sticky doesn’t have that problem since they roll about 17 players deep. Mike Thomas has been fantastic, and Jeff Krol has Sticky Nation focused on the D2 championship. They’re playing very good football, and I think they know it. Look for that to continue here. STICKY BANDITS BY 14

 

Jabronies vs Morning Wood (+4) – Morning Wood isn’t playing too bad, but the Jabronies are simply on fire. A 1-point loss to Eyes Downtown (regardless of Bobby) is nothing to sneeze at. It shouldn’t come as a surprise though. Jabronies have former D1 caliber players in Ben Stack and Eric Kleckler, which has tended to go a little unnoticed here. This roster is much better than whatever Joe Miano trotted out in D6. JABRONIES BY 9

 

Jabronies vs Sticky Bandits (+2) – This should be “even” for a line. But somehow, the TSLQBPRC thought that “make me the lines with data and stuff” meant that THEY get to pick games too. Stick to your spreadsheets. Anyway, these two teams definitely love playing each other, as I’m pretty sure they’re all friends and family or whatever. Hopefully they’ll have a fun bet this game too, but the losers will actually commit to the bet this time around. JABRONIES BY 1

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Scores:

 

All We Do Is Quinn 42, Grey Hair Don’t Care 21

All We Do Is Quinn 32, The Untouchaballs 28

Frodo Swaggins 30, Grey Hair Don’t Care 24

En Fuego 29, Over Compensators 12 (D3/D4 Crossover)

Scared Hitless 52, Freeballers 0 (D3/D4 Crossover)

 

Well, the Top 3 teams in the conference played each other, and it showed us pretty much what we already knew: Quinn and Frodo are the Top Dogs of D3. Grey Hair Don’t Care is a great story, and they’re a good team that is a tough out, but they had games against the two favorites and couldn’t pull out a win in either contest. The Untouchaballs don’t really win a lot, but at the same time they’re always SO CLOSE to popping off a win here and there. They’re 1-4 and could very easily be 3-2 or 4-1. And in the Crossovers, En Fuego easily won their highly anticipated match with the OC, while Scared Hitless smacked Freeballers into realizing they’re headed for D5 next season.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Frodo Swaggins vs En Fuego (+10) – Team LaDuca comes into this pretty huge matchup with some momentum after vanquishing their rivals in the OC. This is the litmus test for these guys. If they can beat Frodo, it’ll give them their swagger back, which they so desperately miss. Honestly? They need to have some fun, and keep things loose. Considering both teams wear black, En Fuego should wear their alternate jerseys of white shirts and jorts. Bring back the fun. Garrett and Scotty know they’re missing Josh a bunch this season, but apparently when you get a girl pregnant, that means you can’t play football anymore, so they’re down a man. But like, congrats I guess. Frodo takes this one, but barely. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 6

 

All We Do Is Quinn vs Scared Hitless (+5) – Well, here you go Jonny Football. You want to run your mouth about smacking around a helpless D4 team that should be in D7, so now you’re getting the kings of the division. The Cat Peters (and her boyfriend that couldn’t make the AWDIQ roster so he made her leave the team) Bowl is on, and it should be a lot of fun. If Quinn has a disadvantage this game, its on the female side. Kasey is pretty good (she’s still recovering from Scotty’s advances), but the truth is that Scared Hitless boasts one of the best girls you don’t know about in Jaimie Warren, and Carly is no slouch either. But Quinn has much better guys and the more established QB. QB Dylan for Hitless is still figuring things out, and this team will continue to live or die with him. Hopefully last week’s scrimmage against the 6th graders will give him the confidence needed to take this one. Spoiler alert: It won’t. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 12

 

Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Vaspian (+9) -  The only good part about getting to play Frodo and Quinn in one week is that you get those games out of the way all at once. Grey Hair looks to get back on track against Vaspian, who still remain winless. It appears Drew is the problem, as he’s winless on the entire season for all of his teams. I don’t know why he’s cursed, but here we are. QB Dave from Grey Hair knows what he needs his team to work on to win the D3 title now, and they’re going to start practicing it here. GREY HAIR DON’T CARE BY 13

 

D3/D4 Crossover Game:

 

The Angels vs The Untouchaballs (+4) – This is sneakily a great matchup. The Angels are fantastic, we know that. And yes, they *should* be in D3 (and if Matty Ice stuck around, they would be). The TSL’s best gender team has beaten up on hot shot teams time and again and they get an interesting matchup with The Untouchaballs. I still have no idea who anyone is on this team, but they still put up a ton of points. They just still allow a ton as well. The best pro tip I can give them is the same as always: try your best for female touchdowns or else The Angels will walk away from you. Look for a closer than you think matchup here: THE ANGELS BY 6

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Cunning Stunts 37, Freeballers 21

Buffalo Solar Solutions 44, Uncle Rico’s 28

Cunning Stunts 53, Over Compensators 42

Uncle Rico’s 44, Family Feud and Some Dudes 30

Buffalo Solar Solutions 40, The Angels 26

 

Speaking of changing the questions just when you think you have the answers, welcome to D4. Just as The Angels and Uncle Rico’s looked like they were coasting to an eventual D4 title game, the division’s blue teams reminded everyone just who they are. The Cunning Stunts finally looked like themselves this week, taking two wins from teams they absolutely should beat. But what matters is that they actually did it. But, not to be outdone, Buffalo Solar Solutions won both of their games this week against the aforementioned Rico’s and Angels. BSS is sitting at the top of the division after arguably the best weekend in their history. They’re 4-1, and it’s their defense that’s been great as the offense keeps pace with the pack leaders. They’ve cemented themselves as true contenders for the throne, of course last season they had a big week and proceeded to plummet down the standings afterwards. Let’s see if they’ve learned anything from the past. Meanwhile, Uncle Rico’s salvaged their week with a win over Family Feud, who manages to score points just fine, but they have literally zero idea how to stop anyone. They would be better served acquiring a defensive coordinator from the league somewhere. It wouldn’t be the first time a young, lower division team hired a consultant.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Solar Solutions vs Over Compensators (+9) – It hasn’t been the best of times for the OC. I’m sure they’re fondly remembering the good old days, when they were 8-1 in D5, smacking teams like En Fuego around. But now? They’re just fodder for the much better D4 teams. I don’t know if the team didn’t stay in shape in the offseason or it’s a lack of talent or what. Larry isn’t making waves like he used to. I haven’t heard from Eric at all, so he can’t be happy. It’s just bad over there, you can feel it. Yeah, they’re in 4th place currently, but they can’t score, and they seemed destined to finish 6th or 7th in the division. Just kidding, the Freeballers are in this division, they’ll be 7th. Buffalo Solar is just humming along. They just proved they’re a force in the division and they’re going to want to do everything they can to keep that going. RIP OC. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 19

 

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers vs Cunning Stunts (+4) – Hey, here’s a fun one. With the Stunts back on track, they look to remind everyone yet again who they are. The forgotten Step Sisters to The Angels (regardless of how many times they’ve beaten them), the Stunts have that chip on their shoulder yet again. They know they should be better than 2-3, but they’re 2-0 in their last two games, and that should be the focus. Uncle Rico’s will have their hands full here. CUNNING STUNTS BY 2

 

Family Feud and Some Dudes vs Freeballers (+3) – I tried to believe in the Freeballers, but you can only go so far with it. I have to cut my losses. Sorry 40 Year Plan Guy, you let the league down, again. You killed 3rd and Schlong FOR THIS? Happy Birthday though. Freeballers are the 44th ranked team (out of 44) on the TSL standings page. I heard from MULTIPLE sources this week they’re imploding from the inside. I’m not entirely sure they’d beat Intentional Pounding anymore. Just about everyone else in the division has scored nearly double the points they have. D4 was biting off more than they could chew, for sure. Don’t blame the girls, they’re great. In fact, feel bad for them. They’re stuck on this roster at least until free agency opens at season’s end and they can go elsewhere. Steph, this is why you turned your back on TMA? Great choice. Family Feud is catching the league’s worst team at the right time. Look for them to not only win this week, but win kind of big. I still have no idea about this team, so I can’t say much. But they’re going to win. Prove me right. FAMILY FEUD BY 14

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Mountain Dew Me 46, PTERATACOS 14

Mountain Dew Me 22, Practice Squad 6

TOX 16, Zack Attack 15

Cobblestone 26, Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 12

PTERATACOS 30, Intentional Pounding 6

Cobblestone 27, Intentional Pounding 23

ILF 24, TOX 23

 

Just pack it up. The division is over. Mountain Dew Me continues its disgusting reign of terror on D5, and one can only wonder what the hell happened during the pandemic that turned these guys into pretty decent tough outs in D4 to absolute D5 juggernaut. They haven’t had a close game yet. Props to Practice Squad for holding them to only 22 points. I feel bad for Team Lantz because they’re just always the bridesmaid and never the bride in D5. They’re always RIGHT THERE to win this thing, and each season an new contender rises from nowhere to make them second or third best. TOX did the smart thing and benched Topper this week, all it did was give them a much needed victory over Zack Attack. You have to love the throwback to the days the Cobblestone won a bunch. Darryl really must’ve been taking Deer Antler Spray over the offseason. His hair is amazing and so is his play lately. Cobblestone is 3-1-1 and the entire TSL is just better when they’re doing well. I know the NYS rules you have over there means he isn’t passing out the Coronas to everyone just yet, but its coming. Intentional Pounding got pounded and I heard they put QB Scott Keller Sr. in the garage last week. They must be saving him for playoffs. ILF got smacking around by Cobblestone but gutted out a 1 point win to end the day against TOX. PTERATACOS stayed afloat in the division with a 1-1 week as well.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

ILF vs Intentional Pounding (+3) – Three points might be a bit low here. These two teams feel headed in opposite directions. Despite my undying love for the Keller clan, the First Family of the TSL don’t forget, the 3rd and Schlong split hasn’t been kind to them. Luckily, again, its been worse for the Freeballers. MERGE BACK YOU FOOLS. But for now, the season is about having fun I guess. ILF has many horns to toot! Why you ask? Andrew Kicak went out of his way to email me about some of his players who are doing well! So what’s fun here is that he goes to mention Alex Baker, who has an interception in every single game this season. Yes, that’s Dave Baker’s son, the first of approximately 4,258 of them I hear. The rest of the email was commenting on how tall Brad was on TOX and how gorgeous Darryl’s hair is. Still, thanks Andrew! ILF BY 7

 

PTERATACOS vs Zack Attack (+1) – A very interesting “middle of the road” matchup between two teams still trying to figure it all out. Zack Attack cannot be happy with only scoring 96 points in 5 games. The growing pains of moving up a division are obvious here. PTERATACOS are just above them in the standings by a point thanks to a tie. They’re also a team that right now, can’t beat the Top 3 in the division, but will be competitive with everyone else. This is a coin flip, so that’s what I did. ZACK ATTACK BY 4

 

Practice Squad vs TOX (+13) -  Practice Squad has to be angry after that egg they just laid against MDM. TOX is still a team that’s learning to play with each other, and if the whispers of a Topper injury are true, they might start seeing new QB’s come into play here. That doesn’t help them against a polished team like Practice Squad. They’ll beat them at the bar though. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 17

 

Mountain Dew Me vs Cobblestone (+24) – Mountain Dew Me is a runaway freight train, destroying everything in its path en route to a D5 title. But in the distance, there is a man, locks flowing in the win, wearing cargo shorts, holding a Corona. He’s standing directly in front of this machine that has taken over D5 and he softly whispers “No More.” If anyone in the division can stop Mountain Dew Me, it HAS to be Darryl Carr QB Superstar, right? Right? No. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 13

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Tater Tots 46, PC Plumbing 30

Tater Tots 20, Lenny’s Ladies 9

TMA 28, Blitzkrieg 16

The BiPolar Express 40, PC Plumbing 39

The Bambs 34, Graves Bros 6

 

First off, hello Tater Tots! The Tots have a big 2-0 week as they vault up to 3rd in the division. They’ve started to realize that “Throw it up to the tall guy” is a very viable action plan. Meanwhile, PC Plumbing is a mess. Word is that they can never get a roster together, which tends to be a staple of a Peyton franchise. When you have so many people in and out of your team each week, you can’t ever have the proper continuity. TMA is back, I think. They took care of business just as they should against Blitzkrieg. The division may still run through them. The BiPolar Express won this week, and I believe Gordon was back. I told you he was all they needed. He knows how to run his team better than anyone. The Bambs just beat up on Graves Bros in a pretty boring contest.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

The Bambs vs PC Plumbing (+16) – They can’t make this line high enough. D6’s top team versus it’s worst. THE BAMBS BY 20

 

Tater Tots vs Blitzkrieg (+1) – I know what you’re thinking Alex. You’re staring at the standings wondering how 1-2-1 is your record. You could very easily be 3-1 and at the top of the division. Just a few plays could go differently, and you’d feel better about your season. Well, this is your moment. The Tots have established themselves as contenders and you can do the same with an impressive victory. Stay focused, use “Light Red Hoodie Guy” as much as possible (Everyone thinks he’s your best player), and win. BLITZKRIEG BY 6

 

Graves Bros vs Lenny’s Ladies (+2) – The dynamic here will be interesting, if Baby Gronk is rushing QB Jeff Easton. Easton isn’t known for his ability to change direction on the fly, and the unusual “being rushed by a really big dude” thing might hinder his throwing. Graves Bros and Lenny’s Ladies both need the win here, as they didn’t have the best weeks last Saturday. Graves Bros gets back on track here. GRAVES BROS BY 11

 

The BiPolar Express vs TMA (+2) – Gone are the days when Gordon’s gals would take on TMA and he’d lose 2-4 players from his roster immediately because they played for TMA. With Drunk Meg and Steph on other squads now, they can play in this matchup for BPX. Both teams are playing well, albeit having similar seasons. They’re both preseason favorites to win the title, yet its pretty clear that they didn’t have the best starts to their seasons. But they’re on the come up now, and this is a fun matchup. TMA is finally rolling, and they’re not missing a beat after losing Steph/Drunk Meg to free agency. Light Val, Diana, and newcomer Lauren (who hasn’t been creeped out of the team by Prim yet either) have been excellent, so the early worries of female play are extinguished. But let’s just get one thing straight here. I say this every year, and it still feels like now matter how many times I do, no matter how many awards go his way, people don’t realize it: RON WEBBER IS F’N GOOD. VERY GOOD. GREAT EVEN. He’s still somehow incredibly underrated, even though he catches just about everything. The BPX girls are fantastic when they all show up, which has also been a bit of a problem I hear. When Gordon has his full compliment of girls at his disposal, they’re hard to beat. This is going to be fun. TMA BY 2

 

Graves Bros vs PC Plumbing (+3) – I still don’t see why this line is low. There’s not much to talk about for PC Plumbing when they have an everchanging roster. Graves Bros had a hiccup last week, I’m sure of it. They’re still very good. Cassie (Kassie? Where’s Rameer when you need him?) vs Katie Swanson could be a fun matchup to watch, if people were allowed to watch games. GRAVES BROS BY 17

 

Lenny’s Ladies vs The BiPolar Express (+1) – I don’t understand this line at all. Both teams have similar records, but BPX is much more established than Lenny’s Ladies. It’s a good old fashioned gender game though, and that’s going to be really fun. While we’re missing out on the Gordon – Joe K QB battle, at least we’ll get the Gordon – Jeff battle. But this matchup is all about the girls, and here’s hoping we get a game akin to the Angels – Stunts rivalry that has produced some epic battles so far. I’m excited, but give me the team that’s been established much longer. THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS BY 3

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. Will Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown be the rivalry deathmatch is always is? I’d like to think so but this season feels so subdued, even from over here. But, give it one cheap shot from someone, and it’s GAME ON. Let’s hope it happens early.

 

2. Will any team go undefeated or winless this season? It’s incredibly hard to do both, but if you ask me you’ll see Mountain Dew Me win every game, and there’s a really good chance Freeballers don’t win one this season.

 

3. Have we heard anything new from the Health Department? Actually, no. It’s been very quiet, which is a great thing. We’re all doing excellent as far as our guidelines, thanks for everyone who’s been so very good about it all from what I’ve been told.

 

4. Can we stand on the sideline though, seriously? I will say, I’m not a fan of the idea of a 4th timeout and having to sub from the back of the endzone. One, there’s a reason there’s a “no standing behind the endzone” rule because it looks like there are more defenders there than usual. Two, a 4th time out changes the strategy of the game. It’s just weird to me. I’ve heard rumblings of a potential change, but nothing coming down the pipe.

 

5. Can we get one of those cool orange Topper Sports shirts? Actually, yes. Topper informed me just yesterday that he’s going to order a bunch of them. If you can get him $20 and your size, I’m sure he’d be glad to order you one. You’d more than likely have to talk to him this Saturday though.

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. If there was a team out there that was truly ready to “pop” and do some damage, it’s The Untouchaballs. Every week I see the scores, and its like, if they can figure out defense, they’re going to be good. If only I knew anyone on that team.

 

2. Seriously, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Just do it. Say hi. The reason some teams get so much more press is because I hear about them more. It used to be from Lenny and Rameer, and now it’s a lot more from YOU guys specifically. I’m not at the fields, and if I were, I couldn’t walk on them to see you guys. Or could I? I could always be Jeff May. He doesn’t wear glasses.

 

3. It’s going to be nearly 80 degrees this Saturday. Dress accordingly, and wear sunscreen.

 

4. Teams on the rise: Mountain Dew Me (Still), Buffalo Solar Solutions, Cunning Stunts, All We Do Is Quinn, Gryffindor

 

5. Teams with some work to do: Over Compensators, Lenny’s Ladies, TOX, PC Plumbing

 

6. Way too early division champion predictions: D1: Public Enemy, D2: Jabronies, D3: All We Do Is Quinn, D4: Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers, D5: Mountain Dew Me, D6: The BiPolar Express

 

7. We need to have some sort of bar games tournament. Also, where’s the wheel?

 

8. B’s Brother, we miss you. Someone read this to him. Joey Batts, go pick him up. Come on.

 

9. All teams should bring white shirts every week just in case they play a team that has the same color than them. Hearing people complain about how they played a team in black when they wear dark blue or red and orange is just stupid. Come prepared. Yes, if your main color is white, you would bring black in this case.

 

10. It’s true. By 5:00pm on Saturday, anything we think we knew will be wrong again. That’s the best part of the league.

 

 

Go forth, stay safe, and have fun. I cant wait to see how it goes for you all.

 

What’s YOUR ranking?

 

-GF

Week 6 Thoughts, Picks, and Stuff

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 18 September 2020 19:31
Published: Friday, 18 September 2020 19:31
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 57

 

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe!

 

Hello again! Somehow, we’re already at Week 6 of the #TSL2020 Season. I know this season has just been freakin’ bananas with how things have gone for all of you in New York, but it still feels like we just got this thing started.

 

Let’s face it, there’s NEVER going to be enough football.

 

This is normally where I’d give my halfway point predictions, but that feels like too hard of a task when you consider that some teams have still only played about 2 games. That means a few doubleheaders are going to be coming up for some teams, which can really affect the standings.

 

Then again, none of this really matters. The season, if you didn’t know, everyone makes the playoffs across all of the divisions. The regular season really only matters for teams to get themselves on the same level and prepare for the 6, 7, or 8 team tournament that will take place in October to decide just which of those among you are worthy of Co-Ed Football Immortality!

 

We do, at least, have some sense of where things are trending. That’s why I’ll be telling you what’s Surprising and Not Surprising in each division so far. The best part of getting more games played, of course, is that the TSLQBPRC is getting a little better with making the lines for this article. Don’t think your team should EVER give double digit points to someone? Go yell at them.

 

Let’s get into the chaos. . . .

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Public Enemy 41, Marketing Mayors 15

Gryffindor 44, Why So Serious? 26

Eyes Downtown 38, Marketing Mayors 21

Public Enemy 30, Tight Ends In Motion 29

 

Not really anything unexpected this week. Marketing Mayors got the Doubleheader of Doom and proceeded to go 0-2, as most teams would when the play Public Enemy and Eyes Downtown. Gryffindor got a nice win over WSS?, which I was told was Joey’s first win against a D1 team in a regular season game since moving up a few seasons ago. That’s pretty awesome. Tight Ends couldn’t overcome the loss of Emily Curry, who is going to miss the rest of the season with a broken hand of some sort, that’s a tough loss for TEIM. But shout out to PE for dusting off JZ and beating TEIM with a shorthanded crew!

 

What’s Surprising: Not much in the TSL’s marquee division as we have PE and ED sitting at 1-2 as they always tend to be. Why So Serious? Is struggling a bit in their first go at the top dogs, but that’s to be expected as well. Tight Ends’ offense looks to be about as bland and punchless as it always is when Alex returns to QB. It’s hard to win games in D1 when you can’t make passes over 15 yards. I know at least half of the team stares longingly at Seth’s number in their phones every Friday night. It’s hard to call the Mayors’ 1-2 start surprising considering who they just played last weekend. All in all, D1 just feels par for the course so far.

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Jabronies 36, Dilfs 20

Jabronies 52, Peachy Platoon 23

Dilfs 27, Bullet Club 15

SITE 31, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO 22

Sticky Bandits 37, Morning Wood 31

 

How about the Jabronies? Taking out the defending champions who were too scared to go to D1 rather easily, and then simply FEASTING on the Dean-less Peachy Platoon. That’s a hell of a way to start your day, isn’t it? It’s looking more and more like the recent additions to the team are starting to gel with the nucleus of the team, and that can mean really good things are on the way in the form of a D2 title. The Dilfs beat Bullet Club in a rematch of last year’s final, pulling away in the second half. Bullet Club went with Ricky at QB last week, so it remains to be seen who plays under center for this team as the season goes on. Slytherin gets by Team Topper to move to 3-0, Topper considered calling the health department on us to shut the league down so the record books will never be able to show that he lost to Gary and Mo in the same season. (He didn’t call, don’t worry.) And finally, Sticky continues to show that they belong in the TSL’s most competitive division top to bottom, walking away with a hard fought victory, as Morning Wood loses their second straight game since Topper placed the “Bucket Bounty” on them.

 

What’s Surprising: It’s hard to be really surprised here, when this is a division where truly anyone can beat anyone. Slytherin has yet to get in their own way this season (it’s coming though) and Gary made it a point to email me to RAVE about how well Free Agent pickup Taylor Pagano has been playing for SITE. She alone has 6 TDs and 2-3 interceptions. The Jabronies sitting at 3-1 is surprising, I’ll admit it. I don’t think I expected this performance out of them, but they’re currently averaging the most Points For in the division. Sticky is also 3-1, as they’re trying not to be outdone by Jabronies at all. Mike Thomas is the best QB you never heard of right now, but the whispers of “system QB” get a little louder when people see him rise up the QB ranks. Dr. Christine is the truth, and don’t you forget it. Completely unsurprising for D2 is seeing Dilfs and Bullet Club smack in the middle of the pack, as apparent attendance issues and ever changing QBs have once again affected both team’s records. But hey, Dubey was here this week. Morning Wood got the feel good win over Team Topper, but haven’t won since. That win looks a little less fun when you realize that HOFBRAUHAUS is 0-4, although HB can score points. The problem they’re having is stopping anyone, a far cry from last season’s shut down defense. Lastly, Peachy Platoon, the early season favorites to win it all, are 1-2, and things don’t look to be any more promising with the news of Dean not being able to play. They’re still a tough out, as all D2 teams are though.

 

THIS WEEK’S GAME:

HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO vs Peachy Platoon (+11) – I don’t know if the loss of Dean should make PP a double digit underdog here, and I’d gladly bet them with the points here. This should be a back and forth game, but I’m not sure if HB can keep up with PP’s speed across the board. It’s going to depend on the new Peachy QB and if he can make some plays. Look for the veteran HB defense to make some plays here. HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO BY 4

 

D1/D2 CROSSOVER GAMES:

 

Public Enemy vs Slytherin That End Zone (+15) – Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Slytherin gets a chance to shock the entire TSL with an upset over one of the best teams in the league. The problem is that they just don’t have the horses to compete with PE, nor do I think Newman will ever be able to solve the PE defense at full strength. Dawson might be able to keep pace with Boccio, that’s about it. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 23

 

Morning Wood vs Why So Serious? (+4) – You read that right. The D2 team is FAVORED in this contest, the only crossover game where this happens. Again, blame the committee. Morning Wood has been looking for respect for years it seems, and this is a nice step towards exactly that. I do believe both teams will score on each other, but I think the TSLQBPRC placed a chip on the shoulder of the team in purple, and they’re going to be more focused than ever. WHY SO SERIOUS? BY 3

 

Eyes Downtown vs Jabronies (+19) – Well, the Jabronies are in one hell of a pickle here, aren’t they? The Crossover Week’s biggest line is right here, as ED tries to stay perfect on the season. The Jabronies are an early feel good story for the TSL, but there’s not a planet in the multiverse where they win this game. They’ll cover the spread though. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 17

 

Gryffindor over Sticky Bandits (+13) – I don’t agree with this line whatsoever. I think the Sticky Bandits are smart enough, and talented enough, to pull the upset here. Gryffindor has a lot more to prove in D1 (last week’s win was a start) and there’s been many people who figured they’d take the Dilf’s spot in D2 if they moved up (Again, they didn’t). Jeff Krol is a mastermind, as is Dave Baker. Look for them to figure out a way to stifle Joey Batts, take Travis out of the game, and take this one. STICKY BANDITS BY 3

 

Marketing Mayors vs Dilfs (+11) -  I guess we’ll see just how right the Dilf’s were to stay down in D2 in this one. You can bet your ass off that they’ll be going hard in this one. The Mayors definitely have the athletic advantages, but there’s a chance the Dilf’s are the smarter team. If Dubey shows up this week, we could have a good one on our hands. MARKETING MAYORS BY 8

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Bullet Club (+8) – It’s hard to predict a game when you don’t know who’s throwing for one of the teams each week, but this a game that I think either team can win. Whichever BC QB plays, they’re going to have to deal with Maggie rushing, which means they’ll have way less time than they’re accustomed to. Bullet Club possesses an underrated defense, and they’re a good chance Zach Newberry can get an interception or two if TEIM tries to go deep. This one will go back and forth for sure. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 6

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

All We Do Is Quinn 40, Frodo Swaggins 38

The Untouchaballs 41, En Fuego 14

Grey Hair 30, Scared Hitless 22

Cunning Stunts 36, Vaspian 26 (D3/D4 Crossover Game)

 

Quinn and Frodo had quite the barnburner this weekend in what many consider a preview for the D3 title. Grey Hair – Don’t Care beat up on their former friends in Scared Hitless, taking the HKENDGAME Bowl. You know QB Dave loved that one. The Untouchaballs get their first win of the season, routing an overmatched En Fuego squad that couldn’t stop throwing interceptions. Finally, the Stunts win one for D4, beating Vaspian in this week’s D3/D4 crossover matchup.

 

What’s Surprising: Grey Hair – Don’t Care is the answer here, as they’re 3-0 on the season and looking good. They’re having the season most people thought Scared Hitless would be having at this point, and it has to feel good to those that stayed during the End Game divorce. Quinn and Frodo being at the top of the standings is very unsurprising of course. Both teams are very good, and they matchup so well with each other. En Fuego is stuggling on offense, which is expected when you make the jump up two divisions. Scared Hitless is still finding their way, and perhaps still finding a QB. If the Untouchaballs can continue to figure out things on the defensive side of the ball, they’re a threat to even the top teams in the division. Vaspian hasn’t won a game yet, which is a shame. They might be earmarked for D4 in the spring. There’s nothing wrong with that, look how well it’s gone for Mountain Dew Me.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

All We Do Is Quinn vs Grey Hair – Don’t Care (+7) – Here’s an awesome matchup. Two 3-0 teams go to battle to be the division’s lone undefeated team. Grey Hair is a little surprising, while it’s no surprise to see Quinn atop the standings, their usual spot before they blow it in the playoffs, as is tradition. Both teams were winners of huge games last weekend, and they’ll be looking to carry that momentum into this game. This should be a fun one. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 1

 

All We Do Is Quinn vs The Untouchaballs (+14) -  As much as I’m loving the story of The Untouchaballs so far, this is not the team they’ll figure out how to play defense on. Quinn is just going to roll here, but I bet both teams score over 30. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 17

 

En Fuego vs Vaspian (+6) – This is a must win game for Blasé’s squad. They put their money where their mouth is, but it’s gone very poorly so far. A loss to a winless Vaspian team who has nothing to lose would be catastrophic for Fuego. Both teams need this win to save their seasons, but I feel like En Fuego is going to want it more. EN FUEGO BY 3

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Grey Hair (+5) – The schedule is not kind to Grey Hair as they get as hard of a doubleheader as they could get here. Frodo is still reeling over losing to Quinn last week, and there’s no way that a team with Garrett and Scotty on it will lose two straight games. It feels impossible. Right? FRODO SWAGGINS BY 2

 

D3/D4 CROSSOVER GAME:

 

Scared Hitless vs Freeballers (+16) – No, I’m sorry Committee That Makes the Lines, the Freeballers are simply better than you think they are. Both of these teams are works in progress, as they’re new teams, with new QB’s who are figuring out the game. Both teams have stand out girls (Steph and Trish for Freeballers, Jaimie and Carly for Hitless). It’s really going to come down to who makes a mistake first. Look for the upset here, because it’s more fun. FREEBALLERS BY 1

 

D4:

Uncle Rico’s 52, Family Feud And Some Dudes 39

The Angels 53, Over Compensators 32

Buffalo Solar Solutions 36, Freeballers 22

Family Feud and Some Dudes 53, Cunning Stunts 44

The Angels 51, Family Feud And Some Dudes 30

 

Ah yes, the rare “Triple Header” week was played by Family Feud And Some Dudes, and what a week it was. They played arguably the three toughest teams in the division, and they went 1-2 with a nice win over the Stunts while falling to The Angels and Uncle Rico’s. THERE’S THE ANGELS WE KNOW. Two wins, and they scored 50+ points in both games. Bobby is seemingly finding his groove with the girls, and now they’re starting to roll. D4 needs to look out, as usual. Uncle Rico’s continues being good at football as they’re a top D4 title contender. Chris Nelson is out there destroying people, reminiscent of his father, who made an appearance as well I hear! Finally, Buffalo Solar continued their nice start to the season with an easy win against the Freeballers, who are still, as we keep saying, finding their way together.

 

What’s Surprising: The Cunning Stunts look mortal now. The former champs currently sit at 1-2, with a negative point differential. I’m not sure what’s wrong here, anyone want to tell me? Thanks. The rest of the division is going how you figured it would. The Angels haven’t lost yet, and they’re finding their stride. Uncle Rico’s has a legit shot at the title as long as QB Timmy doesn’t regress. I don’t think he does. Buffalo Solar is waiting in the wings at 2-1, but after a really nice email from Dan, (You’re great!) he let it be known that some of the roster he thought they’d have this season ended up bailing, albeit for good reasons. The OC is going through a few growing pains, but honestly I figured they’d be scoring a little more than they are. Family Feud looks like they’re insane to watch. Seriously. They’ve scored a ridiculous 163 points in 4 games. The problem? They’ve allowed 215. That’s a LARGE number. They need to figure out defense and FAST. Lastly, the Freeballers find themselves bringing up the rear, but with 83 points for and 110 against, they’re not too far off from competing with most of the division.

 

This Week’s Games:

Cunning Stunts vs Freeballers (+7) – If there was ever a good time for the Freeballers to catch the Stunts, now might be it. The Stunts don’t seem like themselves this time around, and in past seasons this line would’ve been doubled. The Freeballers need to focus on using all of their girls to make sure they get the gender points. It’s the only way to win. CUNNING STUNTS BY 2

 

Cunning Stunts vs Over Compensators (+6) – Conversely, this is the week the Stunts will get their groove back, playing two teams that are still learning how to play in D4. Something isn’t quite clicking for the OC just yet, but I have faith that a team that ROLLED D5 last season can figure it out in the next few weeks. Just, not this week. CUNNING STUNTS BY 4

 

Uncle Rico’s vs Family Feud (+18) – I don’t understand this line, considering that FF just lost to Rico’s last week by only 13 points. I don’t think they’re getting any worse in that time. Uncle Rico’s is still the better team here, no reason to try to get cute with this bet. UNCLE RICO’S BY 13

 

The Angels vs Buffalo Solar Solutions (+7) -  The best part of Dan’s email this week was the part I can’t write about. BUT, the second best part was that he knows exactly what he needs to do for his team to win this one: slow the tempo, get girl TDs. The problem? He also knows that QB Andy is going to toss the long ball all over the field as best as he can. It’s not the best recipe for an Angels team coming into their own with Bobby at QB. Dan also gave me some other info on his team, but I don’t want to give his opponents any intel. It’ll be a fun one, but. . . THE ANGELS BY 10

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Scores:

Practice Squad 40, Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 12

PTERATACOS 20, Cobblestone 20

Mountain Dew Me 36, TOX 6

 

Two of the game’s all time greats in Darryl Carr QB Superstar and Joe B battled it out last week in a fantastic game. It was only fitting that these two battled to a hard fought tie, as even fate couldn’t decide who was better. Practice Squad got the job done against an overmatched ILF who has D6 written all over them for the Spring session. Mountain Dew Me continued their reign of terror on the division, as the various McGregors ran all over Topper and Friends and cruised to an easy victory.

 

What’s Surprising: Mountain Dew Me went from pretty decent new team in D4, to absolute juggernaut in D5. MDM has only allowed 18 points in 3 games this season while scoring 126 for themselves. Sure, they moved down a division, but it was impossible to imagine that they’d get off to THIS good of a start. I think they’re even shocking themselves a bit. Practice Squad is exactly where they should be: undefeated and a top contender for the D5 title. Zack Attack has fit in just nicely in D5, as the D6 champions are 2-1 and have been good, but not great, on both sides of the ball this season. Look for that to improve as time goes on. It’s a little surprising that TOX hasn’t won a game yet, as Topper is 0-7 on the season. He gets a pass for the fighting New York State thing, of course, but a team with as much veteran savvy as TOX should have found a way to win by now. Cobblestone and PTERATACOS are having very similar seasons, as their 1-1-1 record and point differentials show. At the same time, Intentional and Interdimensional both give up a lot of points, but have really struggled to score so far. Fun Fact: If you take the combined ages of Topper, Joe from Pteratacos, Darryl, and Mr. Keller that’s 7,521 years of experience between them.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Mountain Dew Me vs Practice Squad (+13) – IT’S ON. The biggest game D5 can offer is here, and the line is DISGUSTING. I can’t remember the last time Practice Squad wasn’t a favorite, much less a double digit underdog, but here we are. Practice Squad has waited a few seasons now for this D5 championship, and every season there was always a team that was just a little better. MDM is the #TSL2020 version of that. The team of various blue eyed, blonde clones buzzing around the field is here to stay and this game represents their biggest challenge for sure too. This is going to be a very good game. Take the points. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 5

 

Zack Attack vs TOX (+11) – Zack Attack looks to keep pace in the division as they’re just on the outside looking in at the top contenders for the D5 title. A game against TOX can really be a good “statement” game here for the Attack to remind everyone just who they are. TOX is hungry for a win. Let’s remember that they’re a newer team that is still working on gelling together as well, even with legends like Axel making appearances. ZACK ATTACK BY 10

 

Cobblestone vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+17) – I can’t remember the last time Cobblestone was this much of a heavy favorite. The Carr clan looks like they’re still miffed about getting last year’s playoff victory against En Fuego stolen from them, and they’re playing some of the best football they have in a few seasons. ILF is a bit of a mess still, and while I’ve been told that they’re chock full of lovely people, they’re just a bit overmatched. Look for them to keep this close. COBBLESTONE BY 6

 

PTERATACOS vs Intentional Pounding (+9) – The Keller family’s newest iteration isn’t getting off to the start they wanted. Though Mr. Keller is still timeless, so is the QB on the other side of the field on this one. The veteran QB playing with their son combo is all over the place in this game. The Keller’s play a 1-1-1 team here that is having a nice start to their season, and they just have it a bit more together than Intentional Pounding does. PTERATACOS BY 6

 

Cobblestone vs Intentional Pounding (+9) – The Keller family’s newest iteration isn’t getting off to the start they wanted. Though Mr. Keller is still timeless, so is the QB on the other side of the field on this one. The veteran QB playing with their son combo is all over the place in this game. The Keller’s play a 1-1-1 team here that is having a nice start to their season, and they just have it a bit more together than Intentional Pounding does. COBBLESTONE BY 6

 

TOX vs ILF (+8) – I expect that by this game, both teams will still be looking for that elusive first win. TOX will break Topper’s losing streak to start the season right here. TOX by 10

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Lenny’s Ladies 27, TMA 14

Lenny’s Ladies 44, Blitzkrieg 40

TMA 42, PC Plumbing 6

Graves Bros 36, The BiPolar Express 32

Tater Tots 29, The Bambs 26

 

What a Saturday for Lenny’s Ladies! Our newest gender team picked up their first two wins their history, taking care of TMA before having an exciting game with Blitzkrieg that came down to the final play of the game. TMA would finally figure things out this season later on, picking up their first win of the season completely dominating PC Plumbing, who really laid an egg out there. Graves Bros move to 3-0 with a win over The BiPolar Express who were QB’d this week by Travis Cleavenger. And then the Tater Tots became the first team this season to slow down The Bambs, picking up their first win of the season.

 

What’s Surprising: The most surprising thing of this session is TMA sitting at the bottom of the standings at 1-3. It’s been a rough go for Ferger and Crew, and the once feared TMA defense hasn’t been it’susual self. But if the 42-6 win is any indication, they’re starting to be the team we expected. Lenny’s Ladies sitting at 2-2 is a nice surprise, they’ve been QB’d by Jeff Easton each week but they’re being led by D6 Female MVP Candidate Robin Makula, who had 5 interceptions in the two victories. Graves Bros are currently 3-0 and looking like the D6 early favorites to win it all. After a couple of seasons of putting it together, they’re on cruise control. Blitzkrieg deserves some love, sitting at 1-1-1 when they too could be undefeated if a few bounces went their way. PC Plumbing has been up and down this season, and I don’t quite yet know what they are. The BiPolar Express is at 1-2, but they’ve had a different QB each game. Once Gordon comes back full time, look for the wins to start coming here. Finally, the Tater Tots are showing lots of improvement over last season’s squad. They get better ever single week it seems, and they’re going to be a very tough out come playoff time.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Lenny’s Ladies vs Tater Tots (+3) – This is a pretty big game for two teams that are looking to keep riding the momentum. Dave has started to get the Tots cooking, as the plucky team in orange looks to ascend to the top of the standings. The Ladies had a very good week last week, beating TMA and getting a game ending interception against Blitzkrieg on the last play. Misty and Marla have been fantastic for Lenny’s, and the latter had a crazy acrobatic touchdown catch against TMA that helped put that game away. This one is going to be a good back and forth for sure. LENNY’S LADIES BY 3

 

Blitzkrieg vs TMA (+4) – Blitzkrieg was a penalty away from beating the Ladies last week, as apparently the referees (Hi Billy!) called offense pass interference on them when they thought they scored the winning TD with 9 seconds left. The TSL always protects its females, because without them we don’t have a league. It was a tough call, but apparently it was the right one. TMA just hasn’t been TMA, and apparently some of that is attributed to the play of QB Ryan, who hasn’t been seeing the field as well as he has in the past. Both teams have something to prove, and both teams need a win. If you ask me, TMA needs the win more, and I think they’ll be hungier. TMA BY 5

 

The BiPolar Express vs PC Plumbing (+8) – PC Plumbing is coming off of their worst outing of the season, getting beat up by TMA. They currently sit at 1-1-1 but they’ve only scored 53 points which about 30 points less than anyone else in the division. PC Plumbing really needs to figure out how to score if they have any chance here. The BiPolar Express is chugging along, and chances are they’re more than likely about to string some wins together. They’re too good not to. THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS BY 12

 

The Bambs vs Graves Bros (+1) – Graves Bros comes into this game with the better record (3-0 to 2-1) but somehow find themselves the Vegas underdogs here. It almost feels like they’re not getting the proper respect and they have to prove themselves each week. One person told me “they have that really good girl who I think her name is Cassie but I’m not sure”, so that’s something. The Bambs dropped a game to the Tater Tots, and it appears they may not have had all of their players. This is a really good matchup that could very well be a D6 final preview. THE BAMBS BY 1

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

1.      How many D2 teams are going to win their Crossover games? There’s a realistic shot that at least 2 of them take down their “upper division” opponents this week.

 

2.      Are we going to have a Rameer night? That was a popular question among TSLers. Now that we’ve found some normalcy in our season, I’m sure that we’ll soon be finding a way to have a league-wide toast to one of our biggest TSL Legends.

 

3.      How many undefeated teams stay undefeated after this week? As of now, we have 9 teams that haven’t lost a game yet: Public Enemy, Eyes Downtown, SITE, AWDIQ, Grey Hair, The Angels, Mountain Dew Me, Practice Squad, and Graves Bros. Considering that we have two awesome matchups of AWDIQ-Grey Hair and MDM-Practice Squad which should produce two losers, I’ll go out on a limb and say two others fall as well. But WHO?

 

4.      Why are the games running behind more than usual this season? Well, there are a few reasons. The COVID measures are the biggest factor of course. Tie in the extra timeouts and having to sub in and out from the endzones, and it all plays into it. I know Coach Jay isn’t thrilled with this, and is already taking measures to speed things back up to how we’re accustomed.

 

 

5.      How do you get more publicity for your team? Oh that’s right, you can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and inform me on who’s awesome on your team.

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

1.      JEFF FREAKIN’ MAY made his return to the TSL universe last weekend and is apparently going to be hanging out for a bit. That alone makes me want to fly into Buffalo to see you guys.

 

2.      Heating up: Lenny’s Ladies, The Angels, Jabronies, Grey Hair

 

3.      Cooling down: En Fuego, Scared Hitless, Marketing Mayors, Morning Wood (Topper’s note: ‘Duh’)

 

4.      If it’s impossible for you to not bring your own alcohol to the fields (Cookie and Elmo frown upon this by the way), please don’t bring it directly to the bar.

 

5.      Yes, you’ll have to sign in to get into the fields AGAIN this week. Just accept it as your “new normal”.

 

 

6.      Hey Emily Curry and Joe K, where’s the podcast? Of course, there’s only two good arms between the both of them, perhaps that’s the issue?

 

7.      Slytherin That End Zone is winning D2 this season. I can just feel it in my bones.

 

8.      No, I don’t know if we’re going to have the DJ’s at all this season. But we should if it’s possible. And once we can get a big enough mask for Cookie and Elmo, they’ll be there too.

 

9.      Winter wine tournament? Wouldn’t that be more of an Ice Wine tourney then? Hmm.

 

10.   There are more new faces and names out there than ever before it seems. It’s a testament to our awesome league that we can keep growing and bringing in new people. Are YOU one of them? Who are you? Email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and let’s get talking.

 

 

It’s going to be a really fun weekend, and it looks like the weather is going to be spectacular. Go enjoy yourselves and stay safe.

 

Dave Walter for President.

 

-GF

Week 3 thoughts, Picks, and Insights

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Thursday, 27 August 2020 20:58
Published: Thursday, 27 August 2020 20:58
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 89

 I do it just about every week.

 

Usually around Noon my time, I give Topper a call and we chat about the day’s events a bit. Who won, any stories that came up, that type of stuff. I thought I’ve heard it all. Until this week.

 

“Well, there weren’t any games.”

 

How could that even be? It wasn’t raining.

 

And then I found out the truth. The Health Department shut down the TSL for this past week. And possibly more weeks in the future if they don’t figure it out. It didn’t make sense to me. Topper and I had just discussed the countless security measures he’s put in place. He worked with New York State and they approved this plan. Why would the Health Department even care?

 

 

And that brings me to my next point. You, the TSL Universe, continue to amaze me. Topper told me how SO MANY OF YOU came out of the woodwork to combat this evil. To do anything they could to help. Because of the work of the TSL, we have politicians, Senators, State Representatives, people with power working towards making this league run again. I heard we even made it to the local news!

 

The best part of this league has always been that it’s a family. And families show their true strength through the tough times. Let’s face it, this is the toughest it can probably get for a co-ed touch football league. And yet, we carry on. Be proud of yourselves. Stay strong, stay hopeful. Topper is burning up the phone lines DAILY just so that you can have a fantastic experience in this crazy world for a few hours on a Saturday. He’s putting in the work. Lenny would’ve already sent him a singing clown telegram. And the clown would be dressed in a stained T-shirt and baggy sweatpants. It’s the little touches like that that made Lenny so great.

 

Thank you, whether you’ve been a long time TSLer, or a new player just picking the most interesting time ever to come aboard, for your patience as everything gets sorted out.

 

As of the time of this writing, football is still on. That could always change. (There’s also a decent chance it rains in Buffalo Saturday, so you may not have played anyway). So while I wish I had games from last week to talk about, I can talk about the games that are supposed to be played this week. There’s just not much to say.

 

The lines have been given to me by the TSLQBPRC. Let’s get to it. . .

 

D1:

 

Marketing Mayors vs Gryffindor (+8) – Both of these teams have yet to play a game, which doesn’t bode well for Joey Batts and company. The Mayors have been consistently the same roster for a bit now, whereas it seems that Gryffindor has made some changes. They’ll need some time to figure it out. MARKETING MAYORS BY 17

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Why So Serious (+10) – TEIM has a big doubleheader this week, and rumor has it that they may be slightly overlooking WSS as they focus on Eyes Downtown. This game will be closer than maybe it should be. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 6

 

Marketing Mayors vs Tight Ends In Motion (+5) – Take the points here. The Mayors will already have played one game, and I always feel like Tight Ends just practices constantly. TEIM is hungry, and this may be the time for them to put up a signature win. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 3

 

Eyes Downtown vs Gryffindor (+12) – If I’m being told correctly, Jeremy Burr left Gryffindor for Eyes Downtown. He’s a front runner, so that makes sense. How fun is it to have a team with Burr AND Bobby? I don’t know who’s more excited, Eyes Downtown, the refs, or the TSL complaint department. They might be fun to watch if something goes wrong in a game, but for now? I bet they put on a show. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 20

 

D2:

 

HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO vs Bullet Club (+4) – I disagree with the line here. The last time these two teams met were in the playoffs last season, when BC moved onto the championship. Since then, Bullet Club has added a few more difference makers to their roster while HB, sadly, has lost a few this season. I don’t think HB is going to be nearly as good as they were a season ago when the dust settles.  BULLET CLUB BY 10

 

Morning Wood vs Slytherin That End Zone (+2) – A very close matchup on paper. Morning Wood has added a few really good speedsters and they have an actual QB as well. Slytherin, however, actually has a better QB in Matt Newman and they’re poised to make noise this season. This feels like an even matchup, but I’m going to go with “Good Mo”’s team here. Yes Topper, at this point, He’s Good Mo. MORNING WOOD BY 9

 

Sticky Bandits vs Jabronies (+3) – The last time these two teams met, the Jabronies were on the winning end of things. Neither team’s roster has changed much since then (I’m pretty sure Sticky has had the same team since 2006) but Joe Miano’s progress at QB has gotten better. Jabronies also added Ben Stack to the team, and like him or not he adds a good chunk of talent. Sticky got lucky in Week 1 with DILFs missing everyone. JABRONIES BY 5

 

D3:

 

This is a little weird, but there aren’t any D3 games this week.

 

D3/D4 Crossover:

 

Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (+5) – I understand that the TSLQBPRC would have to give a D4 team the points, but in this case it’s okay if they made them favorites. The best part about the crossover games is to see which lower division teams win. So far, D3 is 1-0 thanks to All We Do Is Quinn’s win in Week 1. Uncle Rico’s, again, has been one of the hottest teams in the TSL for almost a full calendar year. Look for the upset that isn’t an upset. UNCLE RICO’S BY 6

 

D4:

 

Over Compensators vs Buffalo Solar Solutions (+1) – A really good matchup this week that has some good players on both sides. The OC is still warming up to being in D4, although they’ve added Zach Newberry to the squad this season as well. BSS has the same great group of people that’s played together for forever. Continuity matters here. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 3

 

Freeballers vs Family Feud And Some Dudes (+8) – When we last saw the Freeballers they were getting sacked for a walk off safety against the Angels. While that’s rough, it should be noted that they only lost to the Angels by 2 points. Perhaps they’re going to be a force in this division. I still don’t know much about FF, but I don’t think they’re nearly as impressive as the Ballers have been in this short, short season. The Freeballers are looking for a statement game, and this may be it. FREEBALLERS BY 14

 

The Angels vs Family Feud And Some Dudes (+15) – They couldn’t make this line high enough for me not to bet it. FF has to learn right away that they need to constantly score female TDs to keep pace. Guy TD’s will NOT do it for them. I don’t know if they have the females for this challenge. THE ANGELS BY 24

 

Cunning Stunts vs Freeballers (+8) – The line is too high for sure, but the Stunts are no joke. This is their first game of the season, but catching Freeballers on the backend of a doubleheader will prove to help. FB will be competitive, but I think the odds won’t be in their favor. CUNNING STUNTS BY 8

 

The Angels vs Cunning Stunts (+4) – OH IT IS ON. The marquee matchup of the gender teams is the highlight of the day. It won’t be the same without Matty of course, but Bobby vs Joey Batts (who also get to play each other earlier in the day) will be great to watch again in this environment. I’ll take Joey’s defense over Bobby’s any day. Nothing is better than these two teams making magic on the field.  CUNNING STUNTS BY 2

 

D5:

 

Mountain Dew Me vs Pteratacos (+11) – This line is a little brutal when you consider that the Tacos are much improved from last season. Mountain Dew Me put up 53 points in Week 1, but I’m not sure yet if this is the norm. It’ll be a little bit closer, but I’ll take MDM to go to 2-0 here. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 6

 

Practice Squad vs ILF (+9) – Practice Squad is looking good to start the season, and they’re currently the D5 favorites in my book. ILF is a good team, but they’ve got a little fine tuning to do. They’re a season away from really making some noise here. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 11

 

ILF vs TOX (+2) – Topper’s other team takes on ILF, catching them in the backend of a doubleheader which I love. This game is going to be a back and forth, but for right now I’m going to go with the team that’s been together longer than a month and has played more than one game together. ILF BY 3

 

Practice Squad vs Zack Attack (+4) – The future D5 championship will be played right here. You heard it here first. These two teams are balanced on both sides of the ball and it’s going to come down to who blinks first. A mild upset here. ZACK ATTACK BY 3

 

D6:

 

Tater Tots vs TMA (+5) – The “Drunk Meg” game of the week. As much fun of a story as it is, the better story is how TMA is GETTING points here. I know the Tots are better than last season, but I can’t imagine they’re that much better. TMA won’t get smoked deep as much this time around, and hopefully their defense can make a stop or two in order to take this one. They should. TMA BY 13

 

Graves Bros vs PC Plumbing (+3) – A very even matchup here results in PC getting only a field goal to work with for the line. Both teams are finding their way a bit still, and there’s playmakers on both sides of the ball here. This should be a fun back and forth, and I think it’ll come down to the wire. PC PLUMBING BY 1

 

Blitzkrieg vs The Bambs (+5) – The Bambs shouldn’t be getting points here. They ran all over TMA Week 1, and TMA is a better team than either of those that Blitzkrieg played. Blitzkrieg has some moxie, but The Bambs have done this for 47 years. The Bambs won’t have any trouble being socially distant from Blitzkrieg’s defense this game. THE BAMBS BY 16

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1.      Will there be football? At this point we don’t know. Topper is working VERY HARD though.

 

2.      Will it rain anyway? With our luck lately, it seems likely. I’m unsure if we’ll play in the rain or not at this moment.

 

 

3.      When will we know if games are cancelled? Topper is still awaiting word from various government offices. He’s going to wait as long as possible to hear from them. He doesn’t want to cancel the games only to find out we’ve been given the green light.

 

4.      Do I have to sign in to toppersports.com/covid every week? Yes, you can NOT enter the fields without checking in at the gate. Keep your team prepared to do so.

 

 

5.      There are rumors that because of other leagues shenanigans, the TSL may start a winter indoor football league and run tournaments of their own now, is it true? Topper and Lenny historically needed a break inbetween Spring and Fall, so they never have done these things. But with recent events, things may have changed. There are internal discussions going on that may give you guys an alternate option when the Spring/Fall aren’t in play. Stay tuned.

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

1.      If you guys do end up playing this Saturday, please be extra careful to follow the guidelines we attached. You never know who’s watching now, and you don’t want to be the guy or girl that kills this thing for everyone.

 

2.      Here are the best games by time slot:

 

a.      10:00 – TMA vs Tater Tots

b.      11:00 – Morning Wood vs SITE

c.       12:00 – Tight Ends In Motion vs Marketing Mayors

d.      1:00 – Cunning Stunts vs Freeballers

e.      2:00 – The Angels vs Cunning Stunts

f.        3:00 – Practice Squad vs Zack Attack

 

3.      If there’s a way to get a HUGE bet going on between D3 and D4 for whoever wins the Crossover Series, what should it be on? Email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. with your ideas!

 

4.      A few teams that are better than advertised: Uncle Rico’s, Freeballers, Morning Wood, and Zack Attack.

 

 

5.      A few teams are overrated this season: HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO, En Fuego

 

6.      Teams that *might* be overrated but I don’t want to make that call yet: Sticky Bandits (you’ll see), TMA

 

7.      It saddened me that we didn’t get our usual dose of TSL Media this week. No Sentinel, No podcast, No QB Rankings. I never realized how much I look forward to those each week. That’s why I had to get this out to the people.

 

 

8.      Extra huge shout out to the TSLers who banded together and turned some lemons in to lemonade last weekend. I saw the photos that we had enough people for FIVE TSL teams show up to an undisclosed location (don’t need anyone calling the cops if you guys do it again) for pickup football that many people told me was really awesome. It’s great to see this league working together. Extra shout out to Emily Curry for throwing it all together, though I think Dave Baker was involved too.

 

9.      The league feels like the word got out about the Week being cancelled last pretty well, but the best ways to get information to is to like us on Facebook at Topper Sports, LLC or much more importantly, download the Telegram app, use the link https://t.me/toppersports , and follow @toppersports as well. This is the FASTEST way to get ahold of Topper, and it’s the first place to go for immediate and emergency information. Plus it appears that a lot of TSLers were talking about the current events going on, so come join the conversation!

 

 

10.   Lastly, I just want to take a second and apologize to everyone. I know you’re all aware that the TSL really had nothing to do with last week’s cancellations, but it’s still a bummer for everyone. You guys always warm my heart when I hear about how you band together and overcome things together as best as you can. It just sucks for you that things worked out that way, but let’s keep our heads up.

 

Stay safe out there.

 

#TSLSTRONG

 

-The GF

 

Week 5 Thoughts Picks and Predictions

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 11 September 2020 14:44
Published: Friday, 11 September 2020 14:44
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 165

 

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE TSL UNIVERSE!

 

WE’RE BACK!

 

For the second time in a month, the Topper Sports League began play in its #TSL2020 season! After a brief, two week hiatus, we re-acquired the proper paperwork and WNY’s greatest co-ed touch football league is playing.

 

It wasn’t the best, having to wait two more weeks to play some games, but the important thing is that we’ve officially restarted the race to co-ed football immortality! Thank you again to everyone that helped make our dreams a reality. The weather was nice, the football was even better (for most of you, anyway), and we got things back on track.

 

It really was a downer to have Topper tell me we were going “radio silent” last week, as I always try to write this article to keep the 7 people who read it entertained. It’s good to be back. Again.

 

Sadly, all of the nonsense and noise really puts a hold on Week 5 storylines. They’re developing, however slowly. If you have something to say or hype about your team, as always, you can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Please do!

 

There wasn’t too much to report from my investigative team last week, but I will say thank you to Brent McKenzie of TMA, as he caused me to have to Google what a “baby bird” is. This league is something else man.

 

But, the TSLQBPRC is back with some points lines fresh off the press, so it’s time to make some picks. Even if we do only have 2 games in 4 weeks to base them off of. And off to the games we go. . . .

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Scores:

Marketing Mayors 33, Why So Serious? 19

Public Enemy 27, Gryffindor 21

Eyes Downtown 46, Tight Ends In Motion 29

 

Three games, and they all end up with the expected results. Eyes Downtown, Public Enemy, and Marketing Mayors have been the top of D1 for a long time now. While most people (correctly) feel that the rest of the division is catching up to them, a long time off and a lack of a spring session caused everyone else to stagnate a bit. Why So Serious got off to a bad start, and I’m scared to say that Pete might not be the answer to the QB question, AND THAT’S THE BEST THING FOR THEM. Pete, a former Best Tommy Hughes winner, is a fantastic WR in this league and while he may want to play QB, its best for him to catch the TDs instead of throwing them. Eyes Downtown showed up looking a little bit different, as Jeremy Burr was ON FIRE. Bobby still looks like he’s the best QB in the league, and it seems like they added Mike Radon as well, which means his OnlyFans account didn’t go as well as he had hoped during Covid. Gryffindor apparently looks like a relatively new version of itself, adding some fresh faces. Joey played pretty well surprisingly (smaller people rust faster) but they still couldn’t keep up with Mike Boccio, who looks great in his 24th year.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Public Enemy vs Marketing Mayors (+1) – Both teams are not far removed from D1 championships. Both teams look to be clicking with all of the distractions. The Mayors are a little more athletic, PE has the better QB. This is a very underrated game, but I heard that perhaps both sides are going to have some roster issues. It’s hard to bet against the champs, but look for an early season upset, if you can call it that. MARKETING MAYORS BY 3

 

Gryffindor vs Why So Serious? (+11) – If Pete plays QB again, take Gryffindor covering. If he plays WR, I’m not sure if he can be covered. Although, I’d take Gryffindor, but not covering the spread here. Joey may have some new players, but he’s going to continue to lean on the people he knows until he gets more comfortable. This is a good game for them to figure stuff out. GRYFFINDOR BY 6

 

Eyes Downtown vs Marketing Mayors (+3) – I don’t know what the Mayors did to Topper, but to schedule the league’s hardest possible doubleheader is rough. You hate to see it. The Mayors will be coming off a hard fought game against PE just to be handed to the buzz saw that is Eyes Downtown. Fatigue might be a problem here. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 10

 

Public Enemy vs Tight Ends In Motion (+9) – Tight Ends always uses this game as a measuring stick. It just feels like they play harder against PE. A full squad PE handles this with no problem, but a squad missing some people on their second game? TEIM pulls the upset for the biggest win in their history. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 7

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Scores:

Slytherin That End Zone 31, Bullet Club 28

Jabronies 37, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO 36

Peachy Platoon 25, Sticky Bandits 18

DILF’s 28, Morning Wood 15

Sticky Bandits 36, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO 28

 

The league’s closest division this season is right here in D2. Good games up and down the line. Starting with HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO, last year’s top seed, looking like this year’s bottom seed in the playoffs. While most people got in better shape during the quarantine, Topper was not on that list, and that combined with a lot of key roster losses has lead to a rough start for our fearless leader. The only thing that SITE vs BC had more of than touchdowns was interceptions. Slytherin went down big in the first half, only to make a pretty nice comeback over Bullet Club in the second half. Remember when Morning Wood was going to go undefeated? The Dilf’s sure didn’t, handing Morning Wood that all too familiar losing feeling. Sticky Bandits handled Team Topper with a win, but it’s the loss to Peachy Platoon that’s going to sting them the most. After taking the lead with a Dr. Christine touchdown with 2 minutes to play, Dean casually tossed the game winning touchdown on the first play of the next series. However, there’s some unexpected breaking news coming out of Peachyville. . .

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Peachy Platoon vs Jabronies (+5) – DEAN THOMPSON IS OUT FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON!!. Regular TSL correspondent Josh Thompson broke the news to me in email form this week: Dean is just really good at everything ever, and as a result his job wants him to work Saturdays with a cool promotion. Good for Dean, good for D2. Josh also reports that they have a QB of the future already in line, and they’re comfortable knowing he’s behind center. Even still, it’s impossible to replace the TSL’s version of Lamar Jackson. Peachy’s title hopes take a hit, but they’re still a top contender. Oh, the Jabronies are in this game too, fresh off their one point win against Team Topper. They’re coming along nicely, but I’m not sure they’re able to keep up with the Platoon, Dean or not. PEACHY PLATOON BY 3

 

Dilfs vs Bullet Club (EVEN) – A rematch from the D2 championship last year, where the Dilfs won by a slim margin in a fun game. I’d expect a bit more of the same here, with a fun back and forth contest. The Dilf’s haven’t much of a warm up just yet, but as usual Katie Keller is already doing Katie Keller things, with a pretty spectacular one handed TD last week. Bullet Club beat Peachy with Ricky at QB, and then watched Jeff Easton throw away last week’s game against SITE with 4 Interceptions after taking a two score lead. I don’t think there’s a QB controversy just yet if that’s how things are going to go. Bullet Club wins this game if Ricky plays, they lose if Jeff plays. It’ll be interesting to see which QB trots onto the field this week. BULLET CLUB BY 3 WITH RICKY, DILFS BY 7 WITH EASTON.

 

Slytherin That End Zone vs HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO (+12) – How the mighty have fallen. Topper already lost to Mo this season, and now he’s staring at losing to Gary as well? He might retire right there, on the spot if that happens. SITE gave away the game to Bullet Club early, as Newman threw three interceptions and wasn’t very good. Luckily, that SITE D is VERY good and kept getting the ball back too. If SITE feats on ducks like that, it could be a big day for Gary and Co. We’re not entirely sure Topper can throw over Coach Jay, so it’ll be GREAT if Coach Jay rushes Topper. Just saying. SITE BY 10

 

Sticky Bandits vs Morning Wood (+1) – I don’t love this line. Sticky beat the Dilf’s Week 1, who handily beat MW last week. I think it’s a little too close. Mike Thomas has really settled into his own, and in the email Josh from Peachy sent me, he went out of his way to talk about how nice Jeff Krol is, but more importantly how much better at football Dr. Christine is than Jeff. She was awesome last week, and it’ll be interesting to see if MW has any females that can keep up with them, other than Rachel Parker. STICKY BANDITS BY 12

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

All We Do Is Quinn 45, Vaspian 20

En Fuego 20, Scared Hitless 17

Scared Hitless 22, Vaspian 14

Grey Hair 41, The Untouchaballs 30

D3/D4 Crossover game: Frodo Swaggins 68, Family Feud 41

 

 

Vaspian had some really bright shirts, but they may be the lone bright spot of the season so far. After getting beat up on by AWDIQ, they went back onto the field much more determined against Hitless. . . and lost again. The season is young, of course, but that can’t be the best of signs. Grey Hair Don’t Care went out and smacked the Untouchaballs, which is exactly what they should’ve done in that game. Dark horse championship contender right there. En Fuego got a win against Scared Hitless as well, although it seems they were more concerned with the referees over their opponents. Tell me if you’ve heard this one before: Matt Kieta and a referee have words and an issue. At least he didn’t get beat up this time. But seriously, abuse of officials is the fastest way to get kicked out of this league. Especially for a repeat offender. Calm it down man, Ive heard nothing but good things about you since the last incident. Don’t ruin that. And in the Crossover game, Scotty Dro decided to score a bunch, so he did. 68 points in fact. Frodo might want to be worried about that 41 allowed though.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Frodo Swaggins vs All We Do Is Quinn (+2) – Here’s a good matchup. Both teams elbow dropped their competition this season in the D3/D4 crossover games. This could very well be a preview of the D3 final. Garrett Beesing still has tremendous hands and is hard to cover. Quinn boasts a very talented roster, even with the losses they’ve had. Rawdog can’t cover Garrett, so it’ll be interesting to see who Quinn puts on him. It’s a close matchup, but give me the team with the better QB every time. SCOTTY SWAGGINS BY 10

 

En Fuego vs The Untouchaballs (+4) – The Untouchaballs still haven’t done much in their TSL careers, but its still early. En Fuego got a nice win to get them on track in the division, so let’s just hope they keep their heads in the game on the field and not on the sidelines. EN FUEGO BY 13

 

Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Scared Hitless (+7) – THIS IS FUN. The rivalry is on as these two teams that were formed when End Game divorced in the offseason clash in a fun battle. Brandon Farr took a good chunk of the roster to start Scared Hitless, but it seems they forgot they need a quarterback (and no, current guy isn’t the answer, sorry guys). Meanwhile, Grey Hair replaced the players they lost with better versions of the players that left. Some are younger too. Hitless still needs to figure it out a bit to win this one. GREY HAIR BY 12

 

D3/D4 Crossover game:

Cunning Stunts vs Vaspian (+4) – Well, there’s a really, really good chance that the Stunts break the trend of “D3 team stomps D4 team in this game”. CUNNING STUNTS BY 17

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Buffalo Solar Solutions 46, Cunning Stunts 37

The Angels 35, Uncle Rico’s 32

Over Compensators 36, Freeballers 25

 

How about Buffalo Solar? I don’t want to call this a “signature” win by any means, but that’s a pretty great result for them. Getting a win over the Stunts is huge, regardless of which girls were and weren’t there. The Angels seem, well, mortal without Matty Ice. I’m sure Bobby is a great guy and stuff for them to have, but the Angels just seem to be missing that “Matty after 5 shots” swagger that would routinely lead them to 60 points a game. Maybe they’re just rounding into form though. Uncle Rico’s comes close to the upset that wouldn’t have been an upset. Finally, the OC gets a nice win in D4 at the expense of the Freeballers. 40 year plan guy has put together a nice squad it seems, and it’ll be fun to watch them figure it out.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers vs Family Feud And Some Dudes (+17) – The battle of the teams who have way too long names and I’m just going to stop typing them out eventually! Uncle Rico’s has already made their claim to the D4 title, and it’s a good one. They have potentially the best male in the division with Chris Nelson, and arguably the best female that isn’t on a gender team full of D1 girls in Jackee Thompson. QB Timmy has made strides in recent seasons as well, and things just keep trending up for them. Family Feud is a new team as far as I know (as they won’t email me to tell me, jerks), and while they put up some points on Frodo, they allowed 68. They need to figure that defense out, and fast. UNCLE RICOS BY 20

 

The Angels vs Over Compensators (+10) – A battle of current champions here as the D4 champs take on the D5 champs from last season. I don’t quite know what to make of the OC this season, but they did a good job in beating the Freeballers last week. Whatever they do, they need to schedule the makeup game with En Fuego, please. The Angels, as I said earlier, feel “off” without Matty. Usually they’d score 35 points in a half. Playing a gender team is always about the girl TDs, so if the OC wants to pull off the upset, they’ll need some stellar play from their females. STEP OUT AT THE 1 GUYS. THE ANGELS BY 12

 

Buffalo Solar Solutions vs Freeballers (+2) – I think I’d bet this line in Vegas. BSS feels much more polished as a team right now, and they’re riding the high of the win over the Stunts. FB is learning, we know that, and they’re figuring it out as a team. They have a relatively new QB in Boy George, they’re saddled with Scott Klussman, and the rest of the guys on the team are from the usual 2-7 teams, so nobody here really knows what it takes to win. Not yet anyway. They’re up and coming. You can tell because 40 year plan guy has yet to email me talking about how great they are. They *do* have an impressive female roster for sure. I’m sure blackmail was involved for that to happen. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 10

 

Cunning Stunts vs Family Feud (+10) – The best chance FF had was for the Stunts to have won last week. Now, with a loss to BSS underneath them, Joey Batts and Co will be more focused than ever to avoid a repeat of that loss. CUNNING STUNTS BY 14

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Mountain Dew Me 37, ILF 12

Practice Squad 32, PTERATACOS 22

Intentional Pounding 39, TOX 35

Cobblestone 39, Zack Attack 14

 

Hey Cobblestone! That’s a great win, so clearly Darryl was there throwing dimes. Zack Attack got their bell rung in this one, but I still believe that they’ll make some waves in this division. Practice Squad did what they expected to do and beat the Pteratacos. Ho hum. Mountain Dew Me ran all over the Falcons, it was a McGregor family marathon as the various blonde dudes just did WORK over ILF. They’ve settled in quite nicely. The best game of the day is seeing the new Keller Squad get a win over Team Topper 2 in TOX. A really nice back and forth game here, with Scott Keller apparently picking off Topper after “flashing” him? Yeah, I saw The Sentinel say that one. It’s hilarious. More people read my article, so I had to get more eyes on that gem.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Cobblestone vs Pteratacos (+1) – This is a game pitting very similar teams for sure. While the guys are about the same, Pteratacos have the edge in females. But of course Cobblestone has the edge at QB. I think the combined age of the starting QB’s is just over 157 years old. This should be a fun, high scoring affair. In the end, the hair wins out. COBBLESTONE BY 7

 

Mountain Dew Me vs TOX (+22) – MDM is taking the division by storm, and they’re looking like the biggest challengers to Practice Squad this season. The McGregor Brothers may all look the same, but its clear that Jordan is the standout. I think. Anyway, Cody is the one that throws the ball, I know that much. And they’re all ridiculously fast. TOX is the opposite of MDM, they’re loaded with more veteran talent than youth. They don’t believe in things like “speed” across the board. They do have the brains to play the game the right way, and many a time has brains defeated brawn. This looks like a mismatch, for sure. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 17

 

Zack Attack vs Intentional Pounding (+11) – The numbers aren’t kind to the Keller clan. After a feel good win, it may be right back to reality for the TSL’s #1 family. Zack Attack laid and egg last week, and I don’t think a single person on that team was okay with it. They’ll be looking to get back on track this weekend in spectacular fashion. ZACK ATTACK BY 14

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Graves Bros 20, TMA 14

The BiPolar Express 40, Tater Tots 24

The Bambs 44, Lenny’s Ladies 28

 

Graves Bros and TMA met in a pretty close battle that was a bit low scoring. There were quite a few great defensive plays on both sides, be it rushing, interceptions, or just good coverage. The QB’s were off on both sides all day, but I think a rushing Gronk really befuddled the TMA QB. BPX got by the Tater Tots as the Non-Award Winning Tommy Hughes stepped in this week for Gordon. The offense was humming in that one. The Bambs took advantage of a Lenny’s Ladies team defense that’s still working on figuring things out. Even when The Bambs got in trouble in their own end, usually a deep ball ended up giving them a key big play.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Blitzkrieg vs Lenny’s Ladies (+12) – Blitzkrieg is looking to capitalize on their Week 1 start, and this may be the right matchup for them to keep that up. It’s awesome that we have another gender team in the TSL, but as we’ve learned with BiPolar, it takes a season or two for the girls who aren’t used to playing certain positions to understand what’s going on. It’s a learning process for sure. All of the reports point to the Ladies being talented, that’s for sure. Regardless, if QB Alex calls a good game, BK should walk away with this one. BLITZKRIEG BY 10

 

PC Plumbing vs TMA (+9) – I’m not exactly sure why PC Plumbing would be given that high of a line against TMA, but here we are. PC boasts the best girl in the matchup with Katie Swanson, but TMA has the better compliment of guys, lead by Brian Ferger, who according to one source is “always open”. The QB’s are about the same, and perhaps both need to work on scanning the field a little bit better. I think the TMA defense is better overall, however, and that should give them the edge. TMA BY 3

 

Graves Bros vs The BiPolar Express (+3) – Which QB will BPX see? Graves Bros had a nice win over TMA, but they didn’t score nearly as much as they should’ve in that contest. Are we starting to see some offensive woes from them? They’ll need to do a bit better on that side of the ball if they want to keep pace with the BPX girls, who are led by Cat Peters. This should be a fun contest. THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS BY 7

 

The Bambs vs Tater Tots (+13) – The Tots are very, very much improved this year, but The Bambs seem to be taking a hold of the division. In both games this season, The Bambs relied on the long ball to hit some nice touchdowns. They’re hard to defend against, and even when you think you have them pinned down, they break for a long score. I don’t think the Tots’ D is ready for that challenge just yet. THE BAMBS BY 15

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. Will the police come again? Word is that the Lancaster Police and the Health Department are considering starting their own team if they’re going to be called there every week anyway.

 

2. Will Morning Wood ever win again? After Mo declared they’d go undefeated, they have yet to win a game.

 

3. Will people remember to exit on the other side of the fields this week? The biggest “issue”, if you can even call it that, is people not realizing that you can’t leave the fields the same way you came in and they get redirected. We’ll all catch on soon, I’m sure.

 

4. What storylines will start to emerge? The biggest shame of the #TSL2020 season has been that the main storyline has been just getting the season to get going after all. With that finally settled, what stars are going to show up and make things interesting?

 

5. Who’s going to get their makeup games in? Seriously, we have some time to get these games in at 9 and 4. Work with your fellow captains and get these straightened out. The sooner the better, please.

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. Please remember that YES, you’ll have to sign into the Topper Sports Covid App each and every week.

 

2. The whispers of the TSL Indoor Winter League are growing louder.

 

3. It was a weird week without being able to read the weekly media from the TSL that isn’t this article. It’s funny how much I look forward to the QB Power Rankings, The Sentinel, and listening to the podcast each week.

 

4. Games of the Week: Public Enemy vs Marketing Mayors, Dilfs vs Bullet Club, Grey Hair vs Scared Hitless, Buffalo Solar vs Free Ballers, Cobblestone vs Pteratacos, PC Plumbing vs TMA.

 

5. Teams trending up: Mountain Dew Me, Slytherin That End Zone, The Bambs, Buffalo Solar Solutions

 

6. Teams trending down: Tight Ends In Motion, TMA, Vaspian, Peachy Platoon

 

7. Has anyone seen B’s Brother? Seriously.

 

8. Maybe we’ll have a winter wine tournament, complete with wine slushies. Who’s in?

 

9. It always seems to be someone’s birthday each week. I really hope Brent is okay. Someone needs to mail me a piece of cake.

 

10. Again, thank you to everyone who came out of the woodwork to help with the league with our issues the last few weeks. It truly shows how much the league means to each and every one of you. You’re the reason Topper does what he does in working so hard to keep this league running as smoothly as possible.

 

The weather is looking to be about 80 degrees tomorrow, so wear your sunscreen, and have a ton of fun out there. I can’t wait to hear about how Saturday goes down. Email me, let me know.

 

I’ll be looking for the cut.

 

-GF

Week 1 Review, Week 2 Picks

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Thursday, 20 August 2020 20:45
Published: Thursday, 20 August 2020 20:45
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 92

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe,

 

Is there truly anything better than a Saturday at the Rose Garden, playing TSL football?

 

According to everyone I spoke to about Week 1: Nope.

 

The TSL2020 season made it’s debut last Saturday amid multiple new guidelines being installed. Topper himself was worried about how the league would react to the new rules, which is understandable. The end result? Looks like we passed with flying colors, and that’s because of YOU, the TSL Universe.

 

The TSL did what it always does, and we banded together. There were next to no issues about checking in before your game, wearing a mask to the fields, entering and exiting at different points of the play area, etc. You all did a wonderful job, which should’ve been expected. Everyone just wanted to play football, and that’s what we got!

 

Reports from the fields say we didn’t miss a beat. The games were exciting as hell. We saw some fantastic finishes, some blow outs, some old faces, some new faces. It was just good to be on the fields again, even if there’s only four of them. And it seems like the TSL universe agreed.

 

I’d like to give a rousing thank you from Topper, the TSL ‘Board of Directors’, the referees, and even the Rose Garden for everyone working together to make this work.

 

So, while it seems like we did a great job of what we needed to do to get on the fields, what exactly happened ON them?

 

We’re also going to welcome back predictions, complete with the lines made by the QB Power Rankings committee. It’s a lot more fun for me this way, for sure. Let’s get to it.

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Scores:

Public Enemy 38, Why So Serious 20

 

Yep, that was it. We had one D1 game this week, and it pits the defending champions against D1’s newest team, Why So Serious? Pete’s new team is chock full of names you’ve heard before, but to essentially be given the TSL’s version of Trial by Fire isn’t the greatest way to start it all out. Public Enemy just did what they always do. They show up, they play their game, and they run away with the victory. This game was maybe a little closer than it looked in the final score, but its damn near impossible to play your first game as a team against Chris Cole and come out on top.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown (+4) – OH ITS ON! Maybe. The marquee matchup of the TSL season comes a bit early this season, as Public Enemy and Eyes Downtown clash for the 100th time in history. No, that’s not an accurate number. While PE has the advantage of having played a game already, Eyes Downtown does not. Bobby McConnell took over the QB duties for The Angels, so he has some playing time under his belt. I’ve heard there’s a bit of roster turnover for ED which could lead to them not being as sharp as expected in their first game of the season. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 7

 

Eyes Downtown vs Why So Serious (+14) – The same reasoning for the above game doesn’t quite apply here. One team might be shaking off the rust with a few newer pieces as opposed to a team building an identity in the first place. I’m not expecting any sort of bloodbath here, I definitely think that ED is going to win though. But I bet they don’t cover the spread. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 13

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Gryffindor (+11) – According to TEIM’s roster, they’ve lost Katie Salisbury but gained Margo Pagano and Maggie LaMantia. That’s an insane amount of speed to add each week. Gryffindor has only, to my knowledge, added Travis Cleavenger. He’s a good player but I’m not sure he takes that team to a new level in D1. Of course, Joey Batts could’ve revamped his roster completely for all I know, and maybe this is a better team than I think. But for now, I’ll go with TEIM as they continue to try their best to break into the upper echelon of D1. TEIM BY 16

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Scores:

Bullet Club 33, Peachy Platoon 27

Slytherin That End Zone 33, Jabronies 22

Morning Wood 31, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO 20

Sticky Bandits 36, Dilfs 28

 

Bullet Club started off the TSL season with the first walk off win of the season at 10:00. After former QB Jeff Easton was pressed into duty until Ricky got there, he ended up scoring a TD on his only drive. Things would open up in the 2nd half, and with Peachy scoring late to take the lead, Ricky hit Todd Halas in the endzone for a shocking walk off win. SITE came out firing on all cylinders to welcome the Jabronies to D2. The good news for the Jabronies is that they don’t look nearly as out of place as I thought they would in the division, even if some would argue losing by 11 to a team with Gary on it is a horrible result. Speaking of put up or shut up, the lovely, friendly rivalry between Topper and Mo Saleh was immediately put on the field in Week 1. And Mo, along with the rest of Morning Wood, walked away with a hard fought victory over Topper and Co. MW looked impressive in Week 1, it’ll be interesting to see if they can keep it up over the course of a season. HOFBRAUHAUS will rebound for sure. In the day’s final game, Sticky Bandits won their D2 debut against the defending champion Dilfs. It’s hard to really get a read on this game however, since I had heard the Dilf’s were missing quite a few players. Either way, Sticky takes the champion vs champion battle to start the season off right.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Peachy Platoon vs Slytherin That End Zone (+2) – Basically a toss up. SITE is very much out to prove they should be the top contender in D2. Peachy Platoon is exactly that. It’s hard to dock PP for too many points here, considering it took a Hail Mary catch for them to be 0-1. These two teams have had some very impressive battles in recent seasons, and I expect this to be no different. I was going to pick SITE to win this one, but then I realized I couldn’t fathom PP being 0-2 to start the season. Besides, SITE does better when I put a chip on their shoulder. PEACHY PLATOON BY 4

 

Dilf’s vs Jabronies (+3) – Apparently the D2 champions can’t get any respect. Just 3 point favorites against a team that was a middle of the road D3 squad last we saw them. I’m aware Dilf’s lost when they were shorthanded last week, but I can’t imagine that happening again. The Jabronies are going to keep getting better, for the record. I don’t think Joe Miano has come close to reaching his ceiling as a QB just yet, and as he improves, so will the team. This one will go to the Dilf’s, but if they meet again in the playoffs, I may not be so sure. DILFS BY 8

 

Peachy Platoon vs Dilf’s (+10) – The disrespect tour continues. The last time these two teams met were in the playoffs, when Peachy was all but awarded the D2 championship by most of the TSL Media. However, the Dilf’s won that game, and they improved their roster, whereas Peachy may have regressed a bit. This game is going to be a pretty good one, provided everyone shows up, and may even be a D2 final preview. I’m going to take Peachy in this one, as I’m sure all of 47 Thompsons on the team haven’t forgotten about last season’s playoff upset. PEACHY PLATOON BY 6

 

Morning Wood vs Bullet Club (+7) – Two 1-0 teams meet in an early season matchup to see who will be leading the division after two weeks. (Okay, other teams can tie them, just let me hype this.) Anyway, I would’ve personally made this line “even” as well, but the TSLQBPRC sees this game as very skewed towards MW. Fresh off their 11 point win against Topper, Mo and Dave (and the rest of MW that I don’t know) look to take down another league mainstay in BC. Bullet Club’s additions performed quite well last week, as Glenn Bird, Jay German, and newcomer “Shawn” helped BC overcome Peachy. Controversy creates cash, so one has to wonder how long Joe K and Gordon will wait to pull QB Ricky Austin if “Bad Ricky” comes out to play in favor of former QB Jeff Easton. When the smoke clears, I think it’s smart to take Bullet Club and the points here. Morning Wood needs to show me more. BULLET CLUB BY 3

 

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Scores:

 

Scared Hitless 28, The Untouchaballs 27

Frodo Swaggins 40, The Untouchaballs 26

Grey Hair Don’t Care 36, En Fuego 33

All We Do Is Quinn 30, Buffalo Solar Solutions 14 (D3/D4 Crossover Game)

 

The Untouchaballs had a week to forget, starting off the season 0-2 with a thrilling one point loss to Scared Hitless and then getting rolled on by Scotty, Garrett and the boys. Frodo didn’t have any subs but still proceeded to show why they should win D3 this season with an impressive effort. Garrett emailed me personally to let me know to shout out Mike Costa in this game, describing him as “an average player that’s coming along”. Jokes aside, Costa had a long TD and an interception, so good work. I glossed over Scared Hitless’ one point win, but im sure Brandon Farr was smiling as his decision to leave End Game for greener pastures looks to be a good one. But not to be out done, the other half of the End Game divorce spotted Blasé LaDuca and En Fuego all 33 points before coming back and beating them. Okay, I don’t think it was 33-0 at one point, but let’s pretend it was. All I know is that En Fuego absolutely blew this one, according to many reports. Finally, AWDIQ won their crossover game against BSS, which isn’t the most surprising thing in the world. They’re still very talented, even if rumor has it that this their final rodeo.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

The Untouchaballs vs Vaspian (-5) – The good people from Vaspian come back into our TSL hearts and minds this week, ready to roll. They find themselves up against an Untouchaballs team that looks a lot like Vaspian did when they started in the TSL: perhaps a little overmatched as they figure it out, but full of good people who can improve. The future is bright for both of these squads, but give me the experience here. VASPIAN BY 6

 

Vaspian vs Frodo Swaggins (-8) – Vaspian goes from a new team figuring it all out to the D3 favorites just like that. Vaspian has seen Frodo before, but both teams have been improving in the offseason. In this case, it’s really coming down to QB, and there might be nobody better than Scotty right now (save for a few people in D1, not Joey Batts though). I’m not sure who is throwing for Vaspian as I had heard there was going to be an offseason change, but with the end of the world, and Kevin not emailing me, I have no idea how that went down. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 10

 

Grey Hair Don’t Care vs All We Do Is Quinn (-4) – Grey Hair Don’t Care won the game of the day last week with their huge comeback over En Fuego. However, AWDIQ is a much better team, and GHDC can not afford to fall behind in this one. This game will be a better litmus test for GHDC to see if they’re legit. Quinn has always been on the edge of glory in D3, and this might be the season they win it all. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 7

 

Scared Hitless vs Frodo Swaggins (-10) – It’s hard for me to pick Frodo giving 10, because I know that Garrett Beesing won’t be there this week as he ponders life in the woods. Hitless is a new team in name only, and they have players that have been around for quite some time. This won’t be a walk in the park for Frodo. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 3

 

En Fuego vs All We Do Is Quinn (-5) – AWDIQ played D4 competition last week and they’re doing it again against En Fuego. This isn’t a crossover game though. En Fuego imploded last week, and I don’t think things are going to get better for them in this one. Quinn has the talent to run away with this one a little bit, while En Fuego gets caught thinking about their other game this week. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 12

 

D3/D4 Crossover Game:

 

En Fuego vs Overcompensators (+1) – NOW THIS IS A CROSSOVER GAME! There is no love lost between these two teams who just competed for the D5 title last session. This is one of the better grudge matches in the TSL right now, even if they’re in separate divisions. These teams have played in some of the better lower division matchups in recent history and here’s hoping they can do the same. Give me Larry over Blasé any day. OVERCOMPENSATORS BY 1.

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Scores:

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers 45, Over Compensators 21

The Angels 38, Freeballers 36

 

D4 only had two games last week, but both were interesting for various reasons. The D5 champs took on URTT and got smoked here. Uncle Rico’s was one of the hottest teams ending last season and it seems like they’ve kept their good mojo going. The Freeballers came into the TSL this season with something to prove, and there’s no better way to make a statement than beating one of the league’s most dominant teams. However, The Angels are great because they find ways to win, and this was no exception. They took the win on what was essentially a walk off safety. That’s a pretty cool way to do it. Props to the Freeballers though, as they stood toe to toe with The Angels the entire day. It’ll be interesting to see if they continue their momentum.

 

This Week’s Game:

 

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers vs Buffalo Solar Solutions (+16) – If Buffalo Solar is to have their entire team here this week, I’d take the points. Caitlyn Mason is still the best girl you’ve never heard of, and Captain Dan has kept his constantly improving squad together. But, as we said before, Uncle Rico’s is on a long hot streak with their eyes on the D4 title. They’re clicking on all cylinders and unless something goes horribly wrong, expect Jon Senn’s team to make some noise all year. UNCLE RICO’S BY 13

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Scores:

Mountain Dew Me 53, Intentional Pounding 0

Pteratacos 36, TOX 29

Practice Squad 30, Cobblestone 0

Zack Attack 32, Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 20

 

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR MAKES FOR MDM! They absolutely murdered what was left of 3rd and Schlong without an ounce of remorse. D5 looks to be the perfect place for them as they continue to improve on the field. The Pteratacos were the last team to sign up for the TSL this offseason and I think they’ll be glad they did. After waiting an entire season to get their first win last year, the tacos grabbed it right off the bat from Topper’s other team. TOX put up a good fight, for sure, but there’s a better chance they go undefeated at the bar. And that’s a compliment. Practice Squad showed up with renewed focus this year and it showed as they trounced Cobblestone by 30. This was a game that they needed to just take care of business in if they want the D5 title, and they did just that. Zack Attack showed no issues in moving up from D6, taking care of the ILF, who one person told me “might have been better off starting in D6”. Here’s hoping they prove them wrong.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Zack Attack vs Mountain Dew Me (-10) – This line is just so off. Week 2 lines are always that way though. MDM had a great time in their 53-0 rout, but Zack Attack is much more talented than Intentional Pounding. This is a game I think people should try to watch, if we were allowed to watch games. Zack Attack is going to keep putting themselves on the map, I know it. ZACK ATTACK BY 3

 

Intentional Pounding vs Practice Squad (-21) – Easily the biggest line of the day, and it’s a slap in the face of IP. However, I can’t blame the Committee for this line. It seems so smart to just take 21 points, but Practice Squad is on a mission while IP is just trying to figure things out now. I can’t imagine that the Keller’s would let another beat down happen again so soon. I don’t think they’ll win, but I don’t think PS will cover. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 18

 

Pteratacos vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+2) – I already can not stand typing out ILF’s full name. The Pteratacos showed they’ve got some moxie this season, while ILF is a brand new team to the TSL. I think line is just about right in this scenario, and I think this will be a close game. There’s a clear line in D5 this season, and I feel like these two are on the same side of it. Give me the seasoned vets here. PTERATACOS BY 1

 

TOX vs Cobblestone (-15) – Yes, Darryl’s hair is still magical. It always will be. But his arm might be failing him. Speaking of arms failing them, Topper is the other side of this QB battle. It’s rare to say that the team with Topper on it has the QB advantage, but here we are. There HAS to be a Topper vs Darryl bet, right?? TOX is full of slower players that know what they’re doing, and faster players that are still learning. This game is a lot closer than the line says. TOX BY 4

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

PC Plumbing 24, Blitzkrieg 24

Graves Bros 34, Tater Tots 28

The Bambs 48, TMA 26

PC Plumbing 23, Lenny’s Ladies 17

Blitzkrieg 33, The BiPolar Express 16

 

Hey, how about Blitzkrieg? I’m not just saying this because Ethan wrote me a scathing email, bitter about the 30-1 odds given to them to win the title either. The metrics had BK as one of the worst teams in the league last season, and in the blink of an eye they’re 1-0-1 and looking good. PC Plumbing is also 1-0-1 as they showed a lot of promise as well, taking out Lenny’s Ladies along the way. Katie Swanson, by all accounts, is a stud. Lenny’s Ladies put up a good showing in their first game in the TSL. Jeff Easton filled in at QB this week and was very good. New jerseys, same results for TMA. The Bambs just ran by them again and again en route to victory. Graves Bros and Tater Tots had a hell of a game. Reports have said that the Tots are looking much improved over last season. You love to see it. Finally, BPX may be favorites to win the D6 title, but it’ll be hard to do if you get outclassed by Blitzkrieg like that, even if they are improved. It’s early though. D6, as always, is a cluster of craziness.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

TMA vs Lenny’s Ladies (-8) – The concern for TMA going into the season was how will their girls perform without Steph (Freeballers) and Drunk Meg (Tater Tots). After one week it seems like those concerns may already be put to rest. Three different people emailed me about how well Diana, Val, and newcomer Lauren played. Val had an especially great game, making a lot of catches, scoring a touchdown, and had constant pressure on the opposing QB including a sack or two. TMA will be just fine there, they just need to figure out that defense. Even so, there’s absolutely zero way they should be 8 point underdogs to a team that’s on their second career game. Lenny’s Ladies played very well against PC Plumbing and if not for an inability to score at the goal line more than once, they could’ve won. Joy Thompson had a pretty great interception for them as well. Either way, TMA should 100% feel slighted by the committee (and not me) because of this line, and it should propel them to victory. TMA by 10

 

Graves Bros vs Blitzkrieg (-1) – How about that for respect Ethan? The line shows Blitzkrieg as favorites for perhaps the first time in their history. They had a heck of a Week 1 and I have to take the time to shout out their rising star females, Alicia and Allie. The TSL’s newest A&A played very well in both games, especially Allie who had 3 touchdowns and 3 sacks in her first week ever in the TSL. That’s a hell of a debut, and if she keeps it up, expect D1-D3 teams to start scouting. Graves Bros held off a much better Tater Tots, and I still feel like they’re going to be a force to reckon with when the D6 smoke clears. I like Blitzkrieg (because I love anyone that emails me to talk smack), but 1-0-1 against PC Plumbing and a depleted BPX doesn’t show me enough just yet. Win this week and we’ll talk. GRAVES BROS BY 9.

 

PC Plumbing vs Tater Tots (+2) – This line feels right to me. This game is going to be close. There’s a lot of good matchups here, but I’m liking what I’m hearing so far about PCP. Yes, they’re PCP now. They have to know what they did there, right? Anyway, I still feel like the Tots should be bringing Tots to every single game (pAssless Chaps still owes them I believe, wherever they are), but either way, it’s good to see them competing. I know they’re getting better with each game, and it seems like the long layoff didn’t hurt Captain Dave’s squad at all. This will be a fun matchup. Drunk Meg vs Katie Swanson should be an excellent matchup as well. PC PLUMBING BY 6.

 

The Bambs vs The BiPolar Express (+10) – If The Bambs are planning to run wild over D6, Gordon’s Gals are going to need to game plan to slow them down. I’m not sure how successful they’ll be, but then again BPX shut The Bambs out 50-0 last season as well. I can’t take much stock in BPX’s loss last week when they didn’t have the full squad, so hopefully we’ll get a clearer picture on if they’re improving or not. The Bambs are going to need to get as many gender scores as they can, but I’m not sure if they have the girls to do just that. THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS BY 2.

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

1.      Will the long layoff between games dampen the rivalries between Public Enemy and Eyes Downtown or Over Compensators and En Fuego? I really don’t think so. These teams bring out the best in each other and they’re going to be MUST SEE games. Sadly, we can’t have spectators to see games.

 

2.      Who has the most to prove this week? I think Morning Wood is a prime candidate for this, as they’ve largely been an afterthought in the most TSLers minds (Especially Topper’s) for their last few seasons, but they actually boast some talent.

 

 

3.      Which division is going to be the most competitive, top to bottom? I think the closest division this season is going to be D2. At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if just about anyone finished atop the division this season, except maybe the Jabronies.

 

4.      WHERE IS B’S BROTHER? DID HE SURVIVE THE PANDEMIC?

 

 

5.      Who looks to be the best new team after one week? I’ll give credit where it’s due. I like what I’m hearing about both Scared Hitless and Freeballers. This means one of them will undoubtedly lose by 50 in their next game.

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

1.      Are you mad that I didn’t talk enough about your team or that I don’t know anything about them? Seriously, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. I appreciate the referees and captains that are messaging me on Sunday to update me about the game. I can’t see what happens from Des Moines, and I rely on YOU more than ever to give information. I don’t have Lenny or Rameer anymore to give me the scoop on the games, or the fabricated drama.

 

2.      Great to be able to listen to the TSL podcast this morning at work. If you haven’t heard it, go listen. If you want to be on it find Topper, Joe K, Emily Curry, Jeff Krol, or whoever!

 

3.      I heard about the news from one league going the extra mile to call the health department to ruin our fun for some reason. Allegedly they think if you can’t play Saturdays, you can play for them on Fridays? I don’t understand why that’s the right move for them, but you can be assured that our plan follows the guidelines straight from New York State, and we’re doing everything they asked and then some. Don’t be worried. Topper has assured me.

 

 

4.      Speaking of other leagues, what a shame it was for another league to tell everyone “Game OFF” in an email this week just after the TSL started in what’s being reported by many as an attempt to retain teams for the spring. The messages Topper got from displaced players on Saturday were numerous. He feels bad for you guys, and there *MIGHT* be something he can do about it, but no guarantees just yet. And to the multiple people who came to us already, I’ve been told of your rave reviews of the TSL so far and thank you for noticing how great it can be here. We’re overjoyed to have you.

 

5.      I love the idea of Scotty D. writing an article. In fact, I think a few TSLers would be fantastic at it. If you’d be willing to do so, contact Topper, myself, or any member of the Board of Directors and maybe we can get that going!

 

6.      The greatest games you’ll never be allowed to watch this week are:

 

a.      10:00 – Peachy Platoon vs Slytherin That Endzone

b.      11:00 – Eyes Downtown vs Public Enemy

c.       12:00 – Peachy Platoon vs Dilfs

d.      1:00 – Zack Attack vs Mountain Dew Me

e.      2:00 – En Fuego vs Overcompensators

f.        3:00 – En Fuego vs All We Do Is Quinn

 

7.      Special shout out to Coach Jay here. He’s really stepped up as Head Referee in Rameer’s place and is doing a great job. One ref already praised the fact that the weekly emails are about 10,000 words less than Rameer’s were.

 

8.      I really love seeing how well the teams that jump up a division do. I’ve got my eye on Zack Attack, En Fuego, Over Compensators and the Dil…er, nevermind. Can’t forget The Ange…nevermind again. Anyway, I’ll be watching Zack Attack, En Fuego, and the OC closely. Props again for being not scared.

 

9.      Congrats to the Rose Garden for still allowing us to get our drink on and adding that very convenient $2 Sausage or Hot Dog to be added to your order so you can buy alcohol.  I was told by the bar themselves how happy they were about us.

 

10.    We’ve harped on this before, but this is more important than ever. With the uncertainty in the games from week to week, your captains should be having the Telegram app so we can give the fastest updates possible. In fact, there’s talk it’ll be mandatory for captains soon. The quicker we can get you info the better here.

 

 

And with that, we’re on to week two. Keep taking care of each other. And its going to be hot out there, so wear your sunscreen. And your masks.

 

I’m still looking for the cut.

 

-GF

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