WEEK 2 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 03 May 2024 12:54

Published: Friday, 03 May 2024 12:54

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 2624

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality has begun, and what a return it has been so far! In just one week so far, we’ve seen some thrilling action (hey there Wanderers and Let’s Get Reccked!), the return of Topper (complete with ‘Hey, he really CAN still do this’ status), old faces picking up right where they left off (Stir The Sauce, formerly Woodpeckers, returning and immediately showing they’re contenders in D5), new faces picking up their first wins (The Roaring 20s walking into the Rose Garden and beating absolute legend Darryl Carr QB Superstar), teams getting new jerseys that are complete downgrades from the ones they had before (ILF), teams completely vanishing into the night like Batman (the Dark Knights, who just disappeared completely), and of course the desire to win so badly bubbling over into chaos (Eyes Downtown vs Eyes Uptown turning into a ‘Royal Rumble’ of sorts, as the rivalry reaches new heights).

 

And this was just Week 1. 

 

Yes folks, after a week where ‘The Monarch’ Jeff Krol truly understood not only why Topper pulled out all of his hair, but also why he drinks a lot of wine, we’re just getting started! Week 1 was fun in lots of ways, and things only get better from here as the weather improves (allegedly anyway, as rain is in the forecast, but hey, it’ll be 70 degrees for you there in Buffalo. It’s a start. It won’t be better here in Iowa.) and Breakfast Club makes its glorious return this week! 

 

Now, for those of you who are new to the league, “Breakfast Club” is the often imitated, yet never duplicated, draft league where you sign up, get a cool jersey, and you get drafted to one of our 6 teams who are captained by 6 of the league’s more recognizable females. This season, we have Steph, Jenna, Misty, and Trish as returning captains, and we have two new females in Dorene and Dri Lozier captaining for the first time. It’s the best way for people to meet new people in the league, get on a team, and really get the ‘fun’ aspect of what this league is all about. Also, the teams usually have mimosas right after their games, which is a bonus aspect of BC. It’s a way for you to get a second game in your day if you want to play more than just once a week as well! 

 

And let me remind everyone of the insane amount of “TSL” content you get every week during the season. The Sentinel returns for a weekly article to speak on what they’ve seen on Monday, The TSL Podcast with Joe K, Becca, Trish, Jeff Krol, Garrett, Topper, and whoever else is a ‘Regular’ plus whatever guests they invite is an hour (or so) long podcast that recaps games, talks about league happenings, and lots of other nonsense and fun that comes out on Tuesday/Wednesday usually, leading into The Power Rankings article that the TSL QB Power Rankings Committee writes together that comes out on Thursdays. Finally, you get my article here on Fridays, which pretty much means every day of your life during the football season can have something new about the TSL in it. And that’s not all without mentioning “The Roost”, which is another podcast done by Andrew and Jason of ILF where they also talk about the league and maybe touch on some more funny and ridiculous things they come up with along the way. 

The point is, there’s a LOT of awesome things about the TSL for players new and old to like and consume throughout the week. If you’d like to ever be a part of any of these things, you’re more than welcome to be! You can meet up with Jeff Krol, Topper, Joe K, Bs Brother, Cookie Monster, Trish, Becca, Andrew, at the fields and let them know you’re interested, or again, you can continue to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and I’ll personally point you to the right people to talk to. Sure, winning a championship and gaining Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is fun, but it’s not everything (despite what some people seem to think). It’s all about the fun and having a good time with the TSL family. 

GOOD NOT BAD

 

 

• Mighty Drunks - Special shoutout to the Drunks who not only won their matchup with Just Joshing 25-6, but they were also cool enough to stick around to scrimmage the Sausage McMuffins, who were without an opponent when the Dark Knights no showed. 

 

 

 

• Wanderers - I’m pretty sure every season starts with the Wanderers not only playing a double header, but they do it in the rain. They went 2-0 this time, with big wins over Let’s Get Reccked and Buffalo Vice. Is this the year for them to take D3? Sure seems like it.

 

 

 

• Stir The Sauce - As I kind of mentioned earlier, STS showed up and showed out in D5, shutting out TMA, and then going on to give GUCCI a heck of a game before losing 26-24. They look to be contenders for the D5 title already after one week. 

 

BAD NOT GOOD

 

 

• Anyone with ‘Eyes’ - You’re not allowed to complain that D1 doesn’t have enough teams when you decide to do all of the nonsense that took place last weekend. YOU are the reason people don’t want to play in D1, so maybe dial it back a little and represent the league in the right way. 

 

 

 

• Dark Knights - Signing up for the league, then proceeding to not show up for your team, block the league when they contact you to see what’s going on, and having Jeff revamp the entire D6 schedule is pretty lame. Adios. 

 

 

 

• B’s Brother - Word got back to me pretty quickly that B’s Brother wasn’t there at the fields to kick things off, which is probably why it rained and why things went off the rails in some places. Get it together Jeffrey. We’re counting on you. 

 

Okay, let’s get on to the games!!

 

D1

 

Last Week’s Scores:

 

Sticky Bandits 25, Frodo Swaggins 21

Eyes Downtown 43, Eyes Uptown 34

Four teams means two games in D1. While the ED v EU matchup was quite the battle it seems, we did see Eyes Downtown move to 1-0 with their victory in a game that really, nobody won or should be happy with. However, Sticky outlasted Frodo in a heck of a game that showed Frodo continues to get better and can hang with the other D1 teams. They’re closer to making some noise than you think. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits (+7) - Sticky’s quest for a D1 title gets a litmus test early in the season, as they take on the defending champs. Eyes Downtown can be quite the well-oiled machine, but Sticky has been together forever. Both teams seamlessly integrate new players, and this is going to be a good one. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 3

D2

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Scared Hitless 38, Can’t Touch This 36

Mavericks 32, Freeballers 14

Mavericks 44, Puckett All-Stars 38

 

We only had three games in D2, but we learned a LOT this past week. The biggest thing we learned? This is going to be a hell of a battle to win the division. The Mavericks came out 2-0, looking quite polished. They easily dispatched of the Freeballers, and then they had themselves quite the barnburner with Puckett. Puckett’s new players (and their old ones too!) really showed up and announced to the division to look out for them. Meanwhile, Scared Hitless and Can’t Touch This played a classic game of their own, as both showed that they’re going to be in the mix for the title as well. Oh, and we haven’t even SEEN the Untouchaballs play yet. 

This Week’s Games: 

 

Can’t Touch This vs Freeballers (+7) - The Freeballers might be the only team that might be on the “outside looking in” for the D2 championship. A 32-14 loss wasn’t the start they envisioned, but that could’ve just been the rain and new players figuring things out. They get a chance to rest the line of thinking on them with a game against CTT, who couldn’t quite pull out a win over Scared Hitless last week. CTT has been good in D2 since they arrived, never looking overmatched or anything. A ‘statement’ win over the Freeballers cements them as being on the level of the Mavericks/Untouchaballs. CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 10

 

Mavericks vs The Untouchaballs (EVEN) - UT returns to the fields this week, as the Jeremy Burr-led D2 champs get an early test against a Mavericks team that has their sights set on knocking them off. The Mavericks are even better than they were last year, when they felt just a step behind a few of the other D2 teams. Meanwhile, even though UT brings back just about everyone, they did lose Melanie Linsmair, which of course is going to make things a bit more difficult for the defending champs. I believe in Burr. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 2

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Scared Hitless (EVEN) - Another great matchup in D2, as the long time “really good D2 team” Scared Hitless gets to take on the “oh, i didn’t expect these guys to be THIS good already in D2” Puckett All-Stars. I don’t think defense is going to be the name of the game here, and we may see a 44-40 type situation here (Which can only mean this game will end up 14-6). Give me the experienced team. SCARED HITLESS BY 7

 

The Untouchaballs vs Puckett All-Stars (+3) - Puckett gets to take on the defending champs in a very interesting matchup that is so good, they get the TSL Prime Time Game of the Week, being the only 3:00 game. Upset time? PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 4

D3

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Wanderers 34, Buffalo Vice 32

Practice Squad 14, Topper All Stars & Todd 12

Keller Whales 36, Buffalo Vice 24

Wanderers 36, Let’s Get Reccked 32

Keller Whales 30, Practice Squad 12

Let’s Get Reccked 33, Bullet Club 20

 

We had lots of D3 games in Week 1, as FIVE of the division’s 9 teams had doubleheaders already. For the most part, all of the games were pretty close, except that the Keller Whales started 2-0 and dispatched both of their opponents pretty easily, winning by 12 and 18 points respectively. The Wanderers also went 2-0, winning by 2 over Vice and 4 over LGR, who went on to beat Bullet Club by 13. Practice Squad spoiled the return of Topper, sneaking out a 2 point win as they also returned to D3. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

The Malones vs Bullet Club (+6) - The Malones had a week off to start the season, and they’re getting a Bullet Club team that looked slightly off last week as they adjust to new QB Dylan Jaloza. I believe The Malones are returning just about everyone from last season, which means they’ll be ready to dominate the way they did a season ago once they found their footing. THE MALONES BY 9

 

Jabronies vs Practice Squad (EVEN) - Practice Squad already has two games under their belts and one of those games was a win over a returning team. They find themselves in the same situation this week, getting the Jabronies in their return to the fields. While the Jabronies are talented, PS has a slight advantage in already playing this season, and that may make all the difference. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 2

 

Buffalo Vice vs Topper All-Stars & Todd (+7) - Buffalo Vice may have gone 0-2 last week, but they showed they can hang with the top teams in the division. They’re quite talented, as we know, and their girls are arguably the best in the division top to bottom. TAST (do we go with TASTY here?) struggled to put up points last week, but their defense was up to the challenge. I expect the offense to perform better this week. TOPPER ALL-STARS & TODD BY 6

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs Keller Whales (EVEN) - If the Keller Whales came out of Week 1 looking like the top team in D3, LGR isn’t very far behind (and the Wanderers are sandwiched in between them). The TSL Rankings #1 overall team after Week 1 had next to no issues as Damien Keller continues to channel Scott Senior in being an athletic marvel who can do anything. He’s going to have a hell of a test against LGR’s defense though, and this may come down to who blinks first. LETS GET RECCKED BY 2

D4

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Tater Tots 48, Creekers 22

ILF 42, The Roaring 20s 18

Cunning Stunts 42, Reset Warriors 34

The Roaring 20s 32, Cobblestone 20

 

The Tater Tots look every bit of a contender now that B is throwing for them, and the move to D4 seems to be the right one after Week 1 after they picked apart the defending D5 champs in the Creekers. ILF welcomed The Roaring 20s to the TSL, handing them a 24 point loss before The 20s would go on to win against Cobblestone later on. And while the Cunning Stunts won (which always seems to happen), the Reset Warriors stuck with them in their first game, which bodes well for the future. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Cobblestone (+6) - PWI makes their return to the fields after a Week 1 bye looking to get right back in the win column. This team has been consistently good for quite a few seasons now, and they’re looking to take another step forward. After Cobblestone’s loss last week, they may be ripe for the picking. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 7

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Creekers (+10) - The Creekers look to be going through some growing pains in D4, and getting a cohesive unit like ILF isn’t going to help them with that much for Week 2. ILF looked like they were in midseason form last week, and while they definitely have some fun out there, there’s this vibe that they’re more focused on a championship than ever. ILF would be a fun team to have in D3, maybe we’ll get there. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 17

 

Tater Tots vs The Roaring 20s (+7) - The Tots looked great last week, there’s no doubt about it. It’ll be hard for them to not continue that this week against TR20, who looked competent to good in their debut last week, but it’s hard to imagine B doesn’t pick them apart and puts up 50 again. You hear that B? You have a goal. 50 points. Show me what you’ve got. TATER TOTS BY 10. 

 

Vaspian vs Reset Warriors (+4) - Vaspian drops down a division from D3, but it feels like the right move for them as their roster isn’t quite the same as it used to be. We haven’t seen them play just yet, but they do have a lot of veteran talent on the squad. Reset Warriors had a good showing in a loss against the Stunts, but I’ll need more of a sample size from them before really knowing how I feel about them. VASPIAN BY 2

 

D5

 

Last Week’s Games: 

 

Stir The Sauce 28, TMA 0

Not So Sticky 31, Two Tuddies 23

GUCCI 26, Stir The Sauce 24

Travis Henry’s Kids 43, PowerPuff Girls 16

 

As widely reported in this article already, Stir The Sauce had themselves a nice Week 1, going 1-1 but looking like they’ll be a problem for everyone in D5. TMA got shutout in the rain, as they enter another season of roster turnover and figuring things out again. Not So Sticky took a win over the Tud Buds, in what was a fun contest. The Tuddies look like they’ll be alright in D5. GUCCI got a win, as they do, and THK put up a lot of points in a win over the PPGs, as Langley shines in a lower division, as he runs away from tougher competition as usual. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Two Tuddies vs TMA (EVEN) - I won’t say both of these teams need a win just yet, because it’s really early in the season, but it almost feels that way. On the one hand, you have a TMA squad that had a rough season last year, went down a division, and then promptly got shut out in Week 1. The Tud Buds lost to Not So Sticky last week (who weren’t exactly ‘great’ in D5 last season) and now they get a discombobulated (someone please explain to Colorado Mike what this ‘big word’ means) TMA squad who is on the ropes. If they can’t beat TMA in this state, who in D5 CAN they beat? Both teams need that “get the monkey off their back” type of win that this game represents. TMA BY 1

 

Not So Sticky vs PowerPuff Girls (+8) - NSS gets a really fun game against the ladies who are still figuring it out. I say that weekly, but it remains true. For what NSS might lack in pure athletic talent overall, they make up for in things like “knowing football very very well”. Look for NSS to exploit the weaknesses in the PPG defense. NOT SO STICKY BY 8

 

Come From Behind vs Travis Henry’s Kids (EVEN) - Perhaps the strongest combined QB arm matchup we’ll see this season, CFB joins us after a week off to start the season against a very good THK squad. Paul and Langley should both have fastballs dialed up as these two teams could put on quite the show. This is lowkey a potential championship game preview. COME FROM BEHIND BY 3

 

GUCCI vs Come From Behind (+3) - These two teams have been battling it out for a few seasons now, and we’ve gotten some absolutely quality games from them. I expect this one to be no different. GUCCI BY 2

D6

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Balls Deep 22, Back That Pass Up 17

Blitzkrieg 29, Sticky Laces 20

Pit Harade 21, Dogg Pound 16

Mighty Drunks 25, Just Joshing 6

Sausage McMuffins 21, Dark Knights 0 (Forfeit)

 

Balls Deep and Back That Pass Up picked up where they left off in the regular season last year, with Balls Deep winning and BTPU not winning. However, I feel like if we played this game 9 more times, you’d see a 5-5 record for both teams. New teams had a rough start as  Blitzkrieg started off the season right with a victory over the new Sticky Laces, Pit Harade got a win over the brand spankin’ new Dogg Pound, while the Mighty Drunks did the same over Just Joshing. And then the McMuffins got a forfeit win over the Dark Knights to start off 1-0. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Blitzkrieg vs Balls Deep (+6) - BK started off the season right, looking sharp for the most part in their win over Sticky Laces. Spring BK tends to feel a lot more dominant, and I think this game is going to be telling on how the D6 season is going to go overall. Balls Deep has made it a habit over the last few seasons of beating the “on paper” title contenders, and it seems like they really get up for games like this. What would a Blitzkrieg season be without a little up and down play? BALLS DEEP BY 8

 

Mighty Drunks vs Back That Pass Up (+7) - The Drunks showed up last week in an easy Week 1 win, but the question with them always remains: Which version of this team is going to show up? Some weeks they look unstoppable, and others they’ve looked like they’re headed for D7. BTPU is still trending upwards from last year, despite the Week 1 loss. They’ll give the Drunks a game for sure. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 2

 

Pit Harade vs Just Joshing (+8) - Pit Harade and QB Dave Walter get a brand new team for a second week in a row. PH seemed to need to shake off some rust from last season, but they should be in the D6 title mix, especially with Tall Bearded Guy, Little Fast Guy, and Ray on the roster. JJ didn’t have the best of days a week ago, and they may not love things this week either. PIT HARADE BY 12

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Dogg Pound (+10) - The McMuffins get to see what the Dogg Pound is all about, provided they show up to play. Maybe teams are just that scared of the McMuffins that they’d rather not show up than get embarrassed? Either way, I’m pretty sure the Dogg Pound will be there, as they continue to figure out the TSL game. I’m sure Alex is going to have his troops ready to “win a real game” this week. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 14

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• So what happens now that the Dark Knights are out of the league? Well, the league already changed the D6 schedule around to erase any semblance of DK even being a part of the league for a second. Sorry to the McMuffins for getting a preseason game essentially? Everyone makes the playoffs, so it doesn’t fully matter anyway. 

 

 

 

• Would games ever get rained out? This is for all of the new players we have in the league. Games can (and have!) gotten rained out before. Playing too many games in the rain will destroy the fields, and we don’t play when there’s lightning either. You should be following the TSL on Topper’s Super Kool Telegram app for the fastest updates, or at the very least follow the TSL Facebook page that can get you updates as well. As for rescheduling games? That may be tougher with only having 4 fields this season, so it’s to be determined. 

 

 

 

• Do we have bar specials again this season? I’ve yet to be told of any drink specials from Jeff, but I was informed that they had a special football food menu up that included the always popular breakfast sandwich, but a breakfast burrito, chicken wing dip, and some other items as well. Hopefully the Rose Garden will bring down the price of a bucket of High Noons for you all next. 

 

 

 

• What was the biggest overreaction from Week 1? That Topper was going to come back and set the league on fire. 

 

 

 

• Who is currently leading the “Best New Team” Power Rankings? While the full rankings aren’t fully figured out yet (it’s almost like we should have a power rankings committee that does this stuff), I think it’s safe to say that the Dogg Pound is #1 right now. I know you’re saying “But they lost? HOW?”, and I’ll just casually remind you that while they lost, they played well, AND they showed up at the bar and hung out a bunch. I was told a “good chunk, if not all of them” stayed after their game and had a few drinks. That’s like 75% of this league, don’t forget. Shout out to them. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE SATURDAY

 

 

• Breakfast Club is back, and my predictions for this season just based off the rosters is that Steph Infection beats Breakfast Club (Trish’s Version) in the finals. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Game Predictions:

• Breakfast Club (Trish’s Version) 37, D’s Nuts 30

• Steph Infection 40, Dri’s Company 27

• Mistymeanors 28, Jeneva Conventions 20

 

 

 

• Games of the Week: 

• 10:00 - Balls Deep vs Blitzkrieg

• 11:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Topper All Stars & Todd

• 12:00 - Keller Whales vs Let’s Get Reccked

• 1:00 - Mavericks vs The Untouchaballs

• 2:00 - Come From Behind vs GUCCI

• 3:00 - Puckett All-Stars vs The Untouchaballs

 

 

 

• IF YOU HAVEN’T SIGNED THE WAIVER PLEASE DO SO ASAP! LET’S GO. CLICK HERE AND DO IT: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1NqaQgYi1a2Sr-vlV_Nab-G7gIJhM3fE0O_xWzK0s5P0/edit

 

 

 

• Three teams trending up: Puckett All-Stars, Tater Tots, Buffalo Vice

 

 

 

• Three teams trending down: Cobblestone, Creekers, Two Tuddies

 

 

 

• Lots of teams have similar colors, so do yourselves a favor and always bring a backup color. If you wear dark (Black, navy blue, etc) just have everyone bring a white shirt, and if you wear light (white, light blue, etc), just bring a black shirt. Make things easier on everyone!

 

 

 

• Remember, the refs are there to help the league run smoothly, and they’re doing their best to keep things in order. There will be missed calls and mistakes. Don’t lose your mind on them because of it. Keep a cool head. 

 

 

 

• If you want me to write more about your team or who is good on the squad, etc etc, the best way to do it is to, again, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and tell me what's what. 

 

 

 

• Shout out to all of the TSLers in the last few months that are getting married, have gotten married, gotten pregnant, or have had a baby! It’s always awesome to see the good things happening in our little TSL family here. Congrats to everyone! 

 

And with that, Week 2 is upon us. Stay safe, and please, try not to fight. 

-GF OUT

 

CHAMPIONSHIP THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 20 October 2023 15:13

Published: Friday, 20 October 2023 15:13

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 3155

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, we’ve made it to the final stage of our magical journey through time and space. The final battles of the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality have arrived. Championship Saturday is here. On Saturday, October 21st, in the Year of Our Lord 2023, 24 teams across the TSL’s 6 divisions will compete for those 6 championships (with our 7th, Breakfast Club, already being decided) with everything they have. Blood, sweat, swearing, tears, hugs, laughter…every emotion will be on display this weekend. And chances are they’re going to be battling in the same slightly chilly, slightly windy, and a little bit rainy conditions to do it in. 

 

But who are the teams that survived Playoff Saturday? And yes, I mean survived. We were treated to some VERY interesting games. Teams won with 5 players! The rain caused a lot of slips and slides along the way that affected all of our games. Teams won in overtime. Teams won with time running out. Some teams just stomped other teams. But they weren’t the teams you expected. That’s right, Playoff Saturday lived up to its craziness yet again as TEN out of the 21 lower seeded teams pulled off upsets last week. We had two #1 seeds lose, two #2 seeds lose, two #3 seeds lose, and four #4 seeds were sent home packing as well. It potentially could’ve been even more if the D1 seeds had a game! 

 

The best part of any TSL season is the unpredictability of Playoff Saturday, and we got our money’s worth last weekend. Now, we turn our attention to Championship Saturday, where things tend to be slightly less crazy. Part of an 8-seed winning over a #1 seed is because they can capitalize on the “surprise” factor. #1 seeds tend to overlook the 0-9 or 1-8 teams that got beat up on all season, and before they know it, they’re losing and trying too hard to make a comeback that only leads to more mistakes and frustration.  But on Championship Saturday, they lose the surprise factor they had a week ago. An upset is much harder to pull off. But, as always, they still happen. A lot. 

 

The finish line for the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality is within sight. Teams will be clawing at each other to be the first one over the line. But who will it be? Luckily for you, I’m here to tell you. 

D1: 

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

#5 Frodo Swaggins 35, #4 Sticky Bandits 25

 

Frodo Swaggins have played 11 games total this season. 4 of those games have come against Sticky. 3 of those games have resulted in wins for Frodo. Frodo only has 3 wins on the season. Their reward? The 3 time defending champion Legends. 

This Week’s Games:

 

#1 Legends (7-2) vs #5 Frodo Swaggins (2-8)

 

Points For: Legends 39.00 (2nd), Frodo 31.10 (5th)

Points Against: Legends 32.67 (3rd), Frodo 49.00 (5th)

TSL Rank: Legends 2nd, Frodo 45th

Past Games: 52-40 Legends, 61-24 Legends

Line: Legends (-10)

The ride for Frodo has been pretty fun the last few weeks, but they’re about to run into a dose of reality. The Legends have felt like they were toying with the league all season as though they were bored: trotting out different QBs, players missing games, fun plays, etc. And they’re still 7-2 and the TSL’s 2nd ranked team. (The #1 ranked team? Cunning Stunts, also QB’d by Joey Batts). Now they’re going to take a game seriously? Yikes. LEGENDS BY 14

#2 Eyes Downtown (7-2) vs #3 Losing Streak (4-5)

 

Points For: ED 41.89 (1st), LS 36.00 (3rd)

Points Against: ED 30.78 (1st), LS 32.11 (2nd)

TSL Rank: ED 3rd, LS 30th

Past Games: 34-24 ED, 47-33 ED

Line: Eyes Downtown (-7)

Eyes Downtown had a very good season in which they went 7-2, and all of their new pieces of the championship puzzle (Derek, Katie, Amber, Kyle…what a job in free agency) really figured out their places on the team quickly. It resulted in Eyes Downtown arguably being the best team in D1, at least by the stats, but a failure to beat the Legends more often put them into a dangerous matchup against Losing Streak. Don’t let the 4-5 record fool you, Losing Streak has just as much talent as the teams above them. Any team that trots out Chris, Ralph, Keyon, Stoner Dave, etc are going to be good. Don’t forget that having Robin, Crystal, and Brit isn’t exactly a bad thing. The talent is there, putting it all together (and having everyone show up at once) has been the slight challenge this season. This one should be an exciting game. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 3

The Prediction: Legends vs Eyes Downtown. It may be chalk, but these two have been on a D1 collision course since before the season began. The storylines are immaculate. Legends getting Andy to play with them to make their roster even better leads to Tight Ends folding, which leads to Eyes Downtown getting much stronger overall. If Legends lose, they have themselves to blame. It’s so very hard to choose here. Both of these teams come across like they’re family. They hang out outside of football. They do it right. With respect to the Stunts, they’re the best two teams in the TSL. I hate giving the Legends bulletin board material, but screw it. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 1

D2: 

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

#1 Freeballers 47, #8 Practice Squad 22

#7 Scared Hitless 24, #2 Can’t Touch This 13

#3 The Untouchaballs 24, #6 THREAD 6

#5 Cle-Avengers Assemble 27, #4 Mavericks 22

The Freeballers took care of business and got a little bit of revenge against Practice Squad from last season’s playoff upset. Scared Hitless reminded the TSL that they’re much better than they’ve shown all season, upsetting Can’t Touch This, which I accurately predicted last week. I tried to tell you. The Untouchaballs were fantastic in their dismantling of THREAD, setting up a match with Cle-Ass as Travis and Co beat the Mavericks in a close game. 

This Week’s Games:

#1 Freeballers (7-2) vs #7 Scared Hitless (2-7)

 

Points For: FB 41.22 (1st), SH 27.33 (7th)

Points Against: FB 26.78 (1st), SH 34.22 (4th)

TSL Rank: FB 5th, SH 40th

Past Games: 42-32 FB, 38-19 FB

Line: Freeballers (-10)

As great as the Scared Hitless story was from last week, they’re still a flawed team that’s missing a piece. They got a perfect matchup in CTT, and they took advantage of it. Now they’re getting the Freeballers, a team that’s rounding into form for a run in D1 next spring, after having the top offense and defense in D2 this season. Can Scared Hitless pull off another upset? Yes. Will they? FREEBALLERS BY 7

#3 The Untouchaballs (6-3) vs #5 Cle-Avengers Assemble (4-5)

 

Points For: UT 37.67 (3rd), Cle-Ass 32.33 (5th)

Points Against: UT 27.78 (2nd), Cle-Ass 34.33 (5th)

TSL Rank: UT 16th, Cle-Ass 27th

Past Games: 39-27 UT, 20-8 Cle-Ass

Line: The Untouchaballs (-3) 

This feels like a little bit of a rivalry game here. Untouchaballs have been looking to reclaim the D2 title after losing it to Travis’ team last season. As always, this is a different team than last season, but it’s close enough that Burr doesn’t care and will use this matchup to fuel him. This should have the most smack talking of the day, and it should be incredibly exciting. This game is what playoff football is about. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 6

The Prediction: Freeballers vs The Untouchaballs. Well, this is fun. We get the top two teams in D2 (according to the various charts from the QB ranking articles) going head to head. These two teams just played a couple of weeks ago, with the Untouchaballs winning 37-14. That shouldn’t go unnoticed. As good as the Freeballers have been this season, the Untouchaballs have been this good in D2 for many seasons now, AND they have something to prove after last year? THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 8

D3: 

 

Last Week’s Games: 

 

#1 The Family 21, #8 716 0 (Forfeit)

#2 The Malones 36, #7 Let’s Get Reccked 20

#3 Keller Whales 35, #6 Vaspian 9

#4 Wanderers 48, #5 Bullet Club 15

 

D3 proceeded to give us the most shocking results of Playoff Saturday as the division where anyone could win really turned into the “haves” and the “have nots”, as not only did every top seed win, they did so quite easily. The Family got a bye week after 716 forfeit because they’d have only 5 players. The Malones out raced LGR, the Keller Whales locked down Vaspian, and the Wanderers looked like it was 2015 all over again. 

This Week’s Games:

#1 The Family (7-2) vs #4 Wanderers (5-4)

 

Points For: Family 45.88 (1st), Wanderers 40.44 (3rd)

Points Against: Family 31.88 (3rd), Wanderers 36.00 (7th)

TSL Rank: Family 4th, Wanderers 24th

Past Games: 40-38 Family

Line: The Family (-8)

The Family became juggernauts in D3, and haven’t really had trouble with many teams since Week 1. One team that they struggled with? The Wanderers, who only had lost to The Fam by 2 points. TSL Playoff football is a different animal, as we all know. I’ve struggled with this game for a few reasons. One, the Wanderers already showed they can keep up with The Family. Two, The Family is a FAST team, and the more I think about it, the more I realized that the amazing weather all season really helped them. That isn’t to say they aren’t talented regardless, but giving them perfect conditions all season made everything work even better. Three, it’s going to rain. The field is going to be muddy. It’s the great equalizer. Anyone who’s ever played Social Co-Ed Touch Football knows that it’s a different game. And that’s a game The Family (at least most of the roster) isn’t used to. But the Wanderers thrive in that. They’ve played in it for the last 100 years. I can NOT believe I’m saying this, but give me the team with the experience. THE WANDERERS BY 2

#2 The Malones (6-3) vs #3 Keller Whales (6-3)

 

Points For: Malones 44.22 (2nd), KW 36.33 (4th)

Points Against: Malones 33.22 (4th), KW 34.22 (5th)

TSL Rank: Malones 10th, KW 15th

Past Games: 44-34 KW, 53-30 Malones

Line: The Malones (-6)

Aren’t 2-3 seed matchups fun? The Malones have burst onto the scene, nearly winning D3, putting up tons of points, and now they’re on the TSL podcast too? (Rhace was on last week, it was a good listen, go check it out if you want to know who this team actually is.) They’re doing it all, and now they get a Keller Whales team with a boatload of experience who are having one of their best seasons in a while. Damien Keller has looked good most of the time, with some growing pains at QB sprinkled in. All-world Katie Keller, the captain of the “should be in a higher division because she’s too good” team, is a matchup nightmare for anyone. But I don’t think it’s going to matter here. Call it a hunch. THE MALONES BY 10

The Prediction: The Malones vs Wanderers. I don’t think I had this D3 final on my bingo board at the beginning of the season. It’s a fantastic tale of a brand new team in The Malones (to football, not just the TSL) against one of the most legendary social co-ed touch football teams in history in the Wanderers. The Wanderers missed out on a championship last season, losing against Can’t Touch This, so there’s some “let’s get it this time” in their favor. And the Wanderers already beat The Malones 43-33, but that was a different time. The Malones have figured out the TSL game a bit more than they had in Week 1. I don’t expect a blowout either way. THE MALONES BY 1

D4: 

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

#1 Cunning Stunts 61, #8 TMA 36

#2 ILF 20, #7 Father Baker 0

#3 Buffalo Vice 50, #6 Travis Henry’s Kids 14

#5 Puckett All-Stars 46, #4 PWI 32

Not exactly unsurprising here. The Stunts went out and scored 60, as they tend to do, against an overmatched TMA team (Jeff Krol owes you a written apology). ILF was masterful on defense, shutting out Father Baker, as the girls might’ve been better with anyone else at QB. Buffalo Vice scored 50, which isn’t surprising. What’s surprising is that THK couldn’t keep up. Finally, Puckett showed up and showed out in the playoffs, as they always end up doing, taking out PWI.

This Week’s Games:

#1 Cunning Stunts (9-0) vs #5 Puckett All-Stars (5-4)

 

Points For: CS 51.00 (1st), PAS 35.11 (3rd)

Points Against: CS 32.11 (4th), PAS 30.67 (2nd)

TSL Rank: CS 1st, PAS 21st

Past Games: 44-40 CS

Line: Cunning Stunts (-8)

Stop me if you’ve heard this before. The Cunning Stunts are on a tear, winning 10 straight games now, and looking to recapture a championship that has eluded them for a little bit. They get a Puckett All-Stars team that kind of coasted through the season, but has already upset one team in the playoffs. A tale as old as time: the Stunts look hot and they get the greatest “underdogs” in TSL history, which usually results in a major upset that we talk about for years. The Stunts only beat Puckett by 4. Puckett has females that can keep up with the Stunts’ ladies. One of these times the Stunts have to win here, right? Right. CUNNING STUNTS BY 6

#2 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (6-3) vs #3 Buffalo Vice (5-4)

 

Points For: ILF 28.78 (7th), Vice 38.11 (2nd)

Points Against: ILF 23.44 (1st), Vice 34.11 (6th)

TSL Rank: ILF 18th, Vice 19th

Past Games: 37-8 Vice

Line: EVEN

It’s one hell of a matchup here in D4, as two evenly matched teams come out to do battle in ILF and Buffalo Vice. This game will come down to one thing: how well ILF’s vaunted defense does against the high scoring offense of Buffalo Vice. Last time these two met, it didn’t go too well, as Vice put up 37 in an easy win. While ILF certainly learned from that game, the issues I see arising are if ILF can make the right adjustments on BOTH sides of the ball. Even if they have Vice score 10 points less and they score 10 more on their side, that’s still a 27-18 loss. It feels like this is the perfect matchup for Vice, as long as they don’t beat themselves. BUFFALO VICE BY 10

The Prediction: Cunning Stunts vs Buffalo Vice. A bit of a rivalry over the last few seasons, this one is a great matchup to end the Fall season on. (For those not paying attention, the D4 final is the last game of the day at 3:00). Expect a high scoring affair, but at the end of the day the story has been about the Stunts all year. They don’t feel as vulnerable as they have in the past. This season has felt like they’ve been on a mission, and there’s only one way I see this game going. Mission Complete. CUNNING STUNTS BY 12

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games: 

 

#8 Not So Sticky 43, #1 Spinelli’s Plumbing 34

#7 Cobblestone 26, #2 Come From Behind 18 (OT)

#6 Goatsack! 27, #3 GUCCI 26

#4 Creekers 38, #5 BAADies 0

Chaos reigns supreme in D5 as the Top 3 seeds all fall. Not So Sticky does it again, waiting until the playoffs to really bring it, pulling the upset win. Cobblestone not only beat Come From Behind in OT, they did it with only 5 players, which is remarkable. Goatsack! got a huge win over GUCCI to advance, and the Creekers answered any questions about if they could handle a gender team with an easy shutout victory to move on. 

This Week’s Games:

 

#4 Creekers (6-3) vs #8 Not So Sticky (0-9)

 

Points For: Creekers 31.22 (6th), NSS 20.11 (8th)

Points Against: Creekers 25.44 (2nd), NSS 38.22 (7th)

TSL Rank: Creekers 14th, NSS 48th

Past Games: 28-8 Creekers

Line: Creekers (-10)

The Creekers find themselves entering Championship Saturday exactly how they expected: As the top seed in the playoffs remaining. They just didn’t think they’d be doing it as the 4th seed. The Creekers came in and handled business last week, and now they have a much easier path to a title than they imagined they would at this time a week ago. With that said, Not So Sticky has a habit of playing great football when it counts. NSS is a smart team, loaded with players that have played in (and owned) football leagues for years. The Creekers are still relatively newer, so they have to stay on their toes if they want to advance. Not So Sticky will give them a battle, but the Creekers move on. CREEKERS BY 3

#6 Goatsack! (3-5-1) vs #7 Cobblestone (3-6)

 

Points For: GS 29.44 (7th), Cobblestone 32.44 (5th)

Points Against: GS 35.22 (6th), Cobblestone 34.11 (5th)

TSL Rank: GS 34th, Cobblestone 38th

Past Games: 29-28 GS

Line: EVEN

Goatsack pulled a fantastic one point upset over GUCCI that most people didn’t see coming last week. Now they get a Cobblestone team they pulled out a one point victory over during the regular season in the next round of the playoffs that pulled out a shocking victory of their own. A 5-man OT victory over CFB is about as shocking as things could get. I’m happy for both of these teams, even though I don’t think I’d have ever bet that one of them will be in the championship game. There’s just something about this Cobblestone team lately, that they’ve really turned things around in the second half of the season. Andy is a great QB for Goatsack!, but I’m going to believe in one of the greatest of all time. COBBLESTONE BY 6

The Prediction: Creekers vs Cobblestone. I’m sure everyone expected this matchup in the finals. What a storyline this game is. Creekers, coming off a season where they went winless, find themselves in the championship game against Darryl Carr QB Superstar and the rest of Cobblestone. Cobblestone, despite playing for a decade, has NEVER won a championship. We’re so close to a Cobblestone championship, and despite all the good the Creekers have done this season, they’re going up against a team of destiny. FINALLY. GET THE CORONAS ON ICE! COBBLESTONE BY 8

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

#8 Back That Pass Up 31, #1 Balls Deep 20

#2 Blitzkrieg 41, #7 Just Get Open 23

#6 Mighty Drunks 28, #3 Pit Harade 27

#5 Two Tuddies 33, #4 Sausage McMuffins 18

 

Back That Pass Up not only pulled off the upset over Balls Deep, they did it with 5 players. Vegas would’ve paid that out at +1000000. I guess that’s why people weren’t talking about Balls Deep all that much. Huge win for BTPU. Blitzkrieg took care of business against JGO. Mighty Drunks capped a big comeback win over Pit Harade at the end of the game and Two Tuddies figured out what was wrong with their offense finally, getting a win over the McMuffins.

This Week’s Games:

#2 Blitzkrieg (6-3) vs #8 Back That Pass Up (1-8)

 

Points For: BK 31.44 (3rd), BTPU 17.22 (8th)

Points Against: BK 29.67 (5th), BTPU 34.56 (8th)

TSL Rank: BK 8th, BTPU 47th

Past Games: 37-0 BK

Line: Blitzkrieg (-10)

Blitzkrieg won their first round matchup expecting to have to prepare for an incredibly tough path to a championship. Instead, as the smoke cleared, they found themselves as the only top seed remaining in D6, realizing the path to a title got a little bit easier. After quite a few heartbreaks over the years, this team is in the driver’s seat for their first ever championship. They shouldn’t take any opponent for granted. BTPU was led by James “Hitman” Hearn and QB Buddy Lee to the upset of the century. I don’t think they expected it either when they walked to the fields with only 5 players, but fate smiled upon them last week. It’s a fantastic story, but in reality they’re facing a Blitzkrieg team that just shut them out recently in a 37-0 win, and even if BTPU gets a few players back this week they didn’t have then, I can’t imagine it’ll matter. BLITZKRIEG BY 14

 

#5 Two Tuddies (4-5) vs #6 Mighty Drunks (4-5)

 

Points For: TT 24.11 (7th), MD 32.89 (2nd)

Points Against: TT 27.11 (4th), MD 31.78 (6th)

TSL Rank: TT 28th, MD 31st

Past Games: 27-14 TT

Line: EVEN

Last week, the Two Tuddies got their groove back on both sides of the ball and cruised to an easier than expected win over the McMuffins. The Mighty Drunks found a way to win with a late TD to beat Pit Harade. These teams have been quite similar all season, in that neither has been very consistent. At times, both teams were considered best in the division, and at other times everyone else was wondering what was wrong with them. None of that matters now. Both teams possess game changing players (Chris for TT, Cam for MD), and talented QBs as well. This one will come down to who blinks first. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 7

The Prediction: Blitzkrieg vs Mighty Drunks. Both teams possess athletic players on both sides of the ball, both have good females, and both can score points. The Drunks beat BK 54-15 earlier in the season, which only tells me that BK was missing Light Red Hoodie Guy and that game shouldn’t count. The metrics say these two teams are evenly matched, with BK about 0.67 “better” than the Drunks. But this is Fall Blitzkrieg. This title is theirs for the taking. It’s time. BLITZKRIEG BY 6

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Which division interests you the most? With the teams remaining, it has to be D3. All of those teams can be evenly matched, and there’s a fun blend of completely new team (Malones), new team that has old TSL vets on it (The Family), team that’s been around for a bit (Keller Whales), and team that’s been around even longer with mostly the same roster (Wanderers). D3 is the only division where I will not be surprised to hear that any of the remaining teams win the title. (Okay, maybe D4 has that going for them too.)

 

 

 

• Which prediction are you most confident in? None of them. If I had to “rank” them in terms of most confidence to least: Cunning Stunts, Untouchaballs, Blitzkrieg, Cobblestone, Eyes Downtown, The Malones. 

 

 

 

• If you had to pick alternate winners for each division, who are they? Legends, Freeballers, The Family, ILF, Creekers, Two Tuddies. 

 

 

 

• What are the best “Storyline” title games possible? Legends vs Eyes Downtown is just it in D1. D2 would be Scared Hitless upsetting the Untouchaballs in the “Melanie Bowl”. D3 is The Family vs The Malones, the new guys to D3 coming in and marching to a title game that should set scoring records. D4 is Stunts vs ILF I guess, just to put the best defense against the best offense (and the Stunts only won 27-26 when they played). D5 is Cobblestone vs Not So Sticky, just to get the 7-8 matchup, with Jeff Krol standing in Darryl’s way. And D6 is Back That Pass Up vs Two Tuddies, the preseason best vs worst where BTPU has already beaten the Tuddies this season for their only win. 

 

 

• Does the rain really play that much of a factor? In a word, yes. The ball is harder to catch and throw which means the ball can slip out of a QB or a WR’s hands. The ground is going to get muddy, especially as the day goes on, which will slow down the speedsters and EVERYONE will be slipping on offense and defense. Don’t be surprised if a game winning TD happens because the defense fell going for a tag. Wear Cleats, and go buy a cleat cleaner if you don’t already have one. And bring towels for the ball. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

• Congratulations to Steph’s Misty-rious Infection for winning the Breakfast Club championship 35-17 over Becca. Steph’s 3rd title in 4 seasons. 

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• All of them. It's Championship Saturday! 

 

 

 

• I know you’re reading this because you want every last drop of TSL goodness in your system, even if you don’t have a game tomorrow. But who cares if you’re playing? Grab a raincoat, an umbrella, wear a garbage bag, and get yourself to the fields. Lots of teams show up to watch the finals, and then celebrate a great season at the bar with everyone before we have 6 months off….

 

 

 

• ….except for the indoor season, where details are coming very soon. 

 

 

 

• FRIDAY, DECEMBER 8TH IS THE TSL BANQUET. I want to make sure you know! The TSL’s biggest party of the year is at the Hotel Lafayette, and it’s a wedding without the wedding. TSLers dress up in suits and dresses, there’s awards, there’s an open bar, there’s dancing, there’s an open bar, and it's a GREAT way to say goodbye to the season. Tell everyone you know about it! 

 

 

 

• With that in mind, Jeff is looking for you to vote on who you think should be nominated for the TSL awards! We give awards for Best Male, Best Female, and Best QB in each division, Most Underrated, Most Beloved, Best Defender, Best Referee, Biggest Villain, Best at the Bar (which team always rocks the bar), Team of the Year, Executive of the Year, and the Leonard Alba Person of the Year award. DON’T WORRY IF YOU DON’T ANSWER ALL OF THEM. Even if you just do your own division and that’s it, that’s okay. If you don’t know names, just describe them and what team they’re on. “The girl with the hair on the purple team” is okay, Jeff will just have some work to do. Here’s the link, you can only vote once: 

 

 

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1b7wXOTlmRE1GWPGFeSdfVzA2PBXLW3nunmU0A_idxks/viewform?edit_requested=true

 

 

• As always, treat other players and referees with respect. I was told of a few instances where refs gave penalties to players being jerks mid-game, as they’re instructed to do so. They’re going to call it, so just keep it together! 

 

 

 

• Darryl Carr QB Superstar finally winning a championship with Cobblestone would be one of the best TSL stories ever. It makes me want to fly in to see it. I used to love playing against him. 

 

 

 

• I already am doubting my predictions so here’s the actual ones: Legends, Freeballers, Wanderers, Puckett, Cobblestone, Blitzkrieg. That’s what I’d bet on. 

 

 

 

• I was informed to remind everyone that tomorrow is Kelly Kane’s big Halloween party, October 27th is the TSL Costume Party at the Rose Garden, and people are trying to get the Costume Bowl on October 28th at 11:00am going, so if you’re interested you can sign up at the bar this weekend, you can respond on Facebook, on telegram, and wherever else you can. Tell Becca, Kory from Two Tuddies, Garrett, Joe K, and whoever else may be involved. 

 

With that, the Race For Social Co-Ed Immortality is coming to an end, and it’s going to be a spectacular ride. Good luck to the 24 teams remaining. 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 1 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 26 April 2024 13:20

Published: Friday, 26 April 2024 13:20

Written by Jeff Krol

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe: We’re back. After a LONG six months and one week, the greatest social co-ed football league in existence, the TSL, has returned to the Lenny Alba fields at the Rose Garden! No offense of course to the indoor TSL league, but there’s just something about being outside in the elements, at the Rose Garden, and having football during the day that just makes things special. 

 

You know what else is special? Topper. That’s right kids, Patrick McGovern has been rebuilt, and he is making his long awaited return to the fields this season in D3. While lots of women may disagree, Topper just makes everything better. 

 

And on April 27th, in the Year of Our Lord 2024, we will have 52 teams across 7 divisions come to the starting line as the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality will begin! And what do we have in store this time around? Well, Breakfast Club is back at its more comfortable 6 teams, and it’s CHOCK FULL of newer TSLers who are looking to make a name for themselves in the league. D1 only has 4 teams, which is a little meh, but you know the football is going to be great. D2 is at 6 highly competitive teams where just about anyone can win besides the Freeballers (and yes I know they have Sean on the team now). D3 is looking to be where it’s at, as 9 teams will battle things out. D3 was highly competitive last season, and while adding Topper to the mix doesn’t necessarily help that, adding recent D3 champs Practice Squad back to the mix certainly does. D4 looks mostly competitive, as there are 9 teams (including some new ones!) looking to take the crown. D5 has 8 familiar faces looking to do battle (that includes you, Stir The Sauce, who looks a lot like the Woodpeckers on paper). And then there’s D6, with 10 teams complete with returning teams from last season, returning teams from long ago, and new teams too! 

 

The point is that this Spring, anything can (and probably will) happen. It’s going to be an absolute blast seeing it all play out, but if you’re here for Championship spoilers, you should keep reading. 

D1:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Eyes Downtown (3-1)

Eyes Uptown (3-1)

Sticky Bandits (5-1)

Frodo Swaggins (15-1)

 

Preseason Hype: Four teams is hard to get too hyped about but at least they’re four good ones. Eyes Downtown returns their championship squad, and they’re the co-favorites to do it again. The other Co-favorite are the Legends, who decided to name the team Eyes Uptown for very obvious trolling reasons. Apparently there’s a “who will Chris Nelson play for?” decision still looming that could turn the tide one way or the other! Sticky Bandits return with the usual suspects here to play, and as always, they can upset either of the “favorites” in this division. They added Maggie LaMantia to their squad of girls, and it’s hard not to consider that an upgrade. Frodo Swaggins returns as well, and while they are a ‘step down’ from the other teams in the division, you can’t sleep on them either. They lost some players to other teams, BUT Garrett added Malikye from Losing Streak (RIP) and Sal from Wanderers, so they got some really nice replacements. They’re getting better every time they take the field and they could very well surprise some people this season. 

 

Preseason Prediction: Eyes Downtown repeats as champs, winning another absolute battle against Eyes Uptown. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+7) - An early season matchup to kick things off for both teams who will be looking to start the season out “right’ with a win. I think it’ll be close, but Sticky has had a lot more familiarity and I believe they played in the indoor session and Frodo didn’t, which gives them an advantage. STICKY BANDITS BY 10

 

Eyes Downtown vs Eyes Uptown (EVEN) - There isn’t much to say here, other than the two best teams in the league are going to kick off the season right where they left off in the fall - battling each other in what should be a fantastic game. As if this blood feud of sorts didn’t need to get any more personal, Legends had to make a troll team name that you KNOW just has Bobby fuming. Every time these two play is must watch football, assuming both rosters show up. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 1

D2:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Mavericks (5-1)

Freeballers (6-1)

The Untouchaballs (10-1)

Scared Hitless (10-1)

Can’t Touch This (12-1)

Puckett All-Stars (15-1)

 

Preseason Hype: D2 is quite the new look division, and even though the names are mostly the same, the teams have all added some firepower in different ways. The Mavericks jump out to the top of the odds because while Jordan isn’t going to be focused on Losing Streak as much, he was smart enough to bring Stoner Dave and Misty with him to the team. The Mavericks were always so close to putting it all together, and I think these additions will do exactly that. The Freeballers aren’t really the Freeballers anymore. I mean, a lot of the same faces are there, but after losing Brit Clarke and Talia to cute little ones they show up with not only a handful of new ladies, but Dave Eickhoff of Grey Hair Don’t Care fame is now lining up at QB for them. And of course, Sean Weisensal returns to D2 where he’s been essentially a cheat code for whoever has him. As much fun as joking about the Freeballers has been for me over the years, I think they’re for real this time around. The Untouchaballs didn’t have to move up to D1 because not only would they lose Mel to Legends, she’s not even on the squad at all this year, opting to play for a ladies team. While they did a decent job of replacing her with Nina, the Untouchaballs are going to look slightly different this year regardless. But they have Jeremy Burr, so they’ll never ever be out of a game. Scared Hitless brings back largely the same team, but they’ve added Travis to the team. Travis is a good player of course, but with another future TSLer on the way I’ve been told he’s giving up captaining teams and just wants to play. Good for him. Can’t Touch This is also mostly the same team, but there’s not much more they really need other than a little consistency. They’re a dark horse here for sure. And lastly, Puckett All-Stars, yes THOSE Puckett All-Stars make the jump up to D2 from D4 as they added THREE very good players from Frodo, and in doing so they’re looking to do some damage in D2. They’ll be a very interesting story for the D2 season for sure. 

 

Preseason Prediction: Sean carries the Freeballers to a D2 title over the Untouchaballs in a game that goes down to the wire. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Can’t Touch This vs Scared Hitless (EVEN) - This should be a heck of a contest between two evenly matched teams. Both teams have played together for a long time, so it should be pretty interesting to see who shakes off the rust first. CTT always seems to start seasons off really well though. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 6

 

Mavericks vs Freeballers (+3) - I don’t know if this is a rivalry game, but it feels like it could be one. Of course, when the magnificent Mike Burke is involved, it feels impossible to use the word rival. Anyway, with Jordan’s team having more familiarity with each other, I think we can look towards them taking advantage of that. MAVERICKS BY 8

 

Mavericks vs Puckett All-Stars (+7) - I’m not saying that Puckett isn’t going to be good in D2, but this has all the makings of a “team adjusting to a higher division while also getting used to new players being involved” type of loss where everyone overreacts and they’ll be +20 underdogs next week. MAVERICKS BY 12

D3:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

The Malones (3-1) 

Wanderers (4-1)

Bullet Club (4-1)

Keller Whales (4-1)

Let’s Get Reccked (5-1)

Jabronies (5-1)

Buffalo Vice (7-1)

Practice Squad (10-1)

Topper All-Stars & Todd (15-1)

 

Preseason Hype: D3 continues to boast about being the division where the most teams have the chance to win it all, and as a result, continues to be the most exciting division in Social Co-Ed Football. The Malones make a “worst to first” jump in our rankings as they went from unknown to ‘quite known’ in the Fall season, putting points up on every team they faced off against, and having Rhace Colon tell the world just how good they are. While the rest of the team may prefer having someone else be the face of the franchise, that’s not how things work here, and Rhace and Co. have the slight inside track to take the title. The Wanderers went a little off the beaten path and added an outsider to their ranks, getting Stoner Dave to join up with the rest of the crew. Frank was heard saying “We had to get a real WR 1 to truly compete, and we know Sal isn’t that guy.” More on this story as it develops. Bullet Club stays largely the same, with one notable addition. Joe K has decided to double down on the “when you’ve got two QBs, you really have none” mantra, adding a third (a 4th if you count Tommy Hughes) QB to the mix with Dylan Jaloza battling for reps alongside John Langley and Jeff Easton. The Keller Whales seem mostly unchanged this season, including their team name which historically changes every spring. Scott Jr proceeds to get less creative as he gets older. Look for Damien Keller to take another step in his development at QB, because if he doesn’t, he’s grounded. Let’s Get Reccked returns, but they’re stronger than ever as they add Garrett Beesing along with Corey Santo and Molly Morgan-Santo. LGR is going to be quite a tough out. The Jabronies return for their usual spring fling in the TSL, and they’re exactly what you think they’d be. Joe Miano throwing, robbing us of Bro’s magical arm gracing the fields again (can’t SOMEONE put Tight Ends back together again? D1 is ripe for the picking, and you have ALL of the pieces for TEIM scattered about the TSL already.), Eric Klecker side-eying potted plants, and some sneaky good females that don’t get enough publicity ready to roll. Buffalo Vice is making the jump up from D4 after spending the last 47 seasons chasing a title there. It’ll be interesting to see if the “Andy throws it really f’ing far and a Gonzalez (or Frank Pizza!) catches it or Andy reluctantly throws it less than 40 yards in the air to Caitlyn Mason and she jukes out the opposing team into submission” offense works in D3. Practice Squad comes back to D3 after a less than stellar foray into D2, but at least they gave it the ol’ college try. Usually, when a team remains largely the same and goes back to a division they’ve already won, they tend to be favorites to win it again. The problem is that PS won D3, but if memory serves me correctly they were the 8th seed and (I believe) 0-8 going into the playoffs that season before getting red hot and winning it all. They didn’t do enough in D2 to really make me think they’ll come back and dominate D3, so it’ll be interesting to see what happens here. And lastly, we have Team Topper. Sorry, but placing a brand new old person team into a competitive division with their hopes resting on the surgically repaired shoulder of an over the hill waiter/quarterback doesn’t seem like the recipe for victory. Topper, you start at the bottom and you get to prove me wrong my old friend. The entire league is going to pay close attention to you doing so. 

 

Preseason Prediction: The Topper All-Stars & Todd run roughshod through the Wanderers as the man who started the greatest football league in the universe symbolically dismantles the gold standard for his rivals, as things always have been and always shall be. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Wanderers vs Buffalo Vice (+10) - A very nice “Welcome to D3” test for Buffalo Vice as they get the always talented, always fun to play Wanderers to kick off the season. Vice may be able to score quickly, as they do, but anyone who’s watched the Wanderers know that they involve everyone, use all 6 downs, and slow the game way, way down. They’re very hard to stop, and if Vice makes any mistakes, they’re going to be in trouble. WANDERERS BY 4 AS THEY SCORE WITH NEARLY NO TIME LEFT TO WIN

 

Topper All-Stars & Todd vs Practice Squad (+3) - The amount of rust that is going to be shaken off here collectively might set a World Record. This is the perfect opponent for Topper’s return (get used to Topper references here, it’s a big deal) to see if he’s “up to snuff”. Once we see him overthrow a wide open Aaron for the first time, then we’ll truly know he’s back. TEAM TOPPER BY 3

 

Keller Whales vs Buffalo Vice (+8) - Vice starts off the year with a double header, and in D3 that’s never a good thing, as both games will be tough. The Whales will be in this game the entire time, and as long as they’re firing on all cylinders to start, they’ll be in control for this one. I like to think they’ll start slow though, and with Vice being warm from the first game, they’ll take the mild upset. BUFFALO VICE BY 3

 

Wanderers vs Let’s Get Reccked (EVEN) - LGR gets a Wanderers team coming off of a game against Vice earlier on, but I think that actually helps the Wanderers more here. LGR is quite talented, of that I’m sure, but with some new pieces and not enough alcohol in their system with an earlier game, one has to wonder if they’ll be up for the task at hand? WANDERERS BY 3

 

Keller Whales vs Practice Squad (+8) - Double header city for the D3 teams this week it seems! The Whales take on Practice Squad in both teams’ second game. I need to see it from the Squad before I can start picking them this year. KELLER WHALES BY 7

 

Bullet Club vs Let’s Get Reccked (EVEN) - Bullet Club gets LGR in their first game of the season, and these two teams historically play each other pretty closely. While it’ll be interesting to see who the BC QB will be, I think LGR having just played a game together will give them the advantage as well. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 7

D4:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Cunning Stunts (2-1)

Passing While Intoxicated (6-1)

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (6-1)

Cobblestone (8-1)

Creekers (10-1)

Vaspian (12-1)

Tater Tots (15-1)

The Roaring 20’s (20-1)

Reset Warriors (22-1)

 

Preseason Hype: The Cunning Stunts remain the class of D4, as they’re always difficult to take down, and they remain the favorites. Even when you think they took a step back (in this case, losing Katie Salisbury who’s busy playing tackle football yet again), they simply adjust on the fly and perhaps get even better (No Katie? Okay, Mel Linsmair takes her place.). PWI returns the same lovable bunch of gamers out there (with maybe one or two new to the cause) and you know they’ll be in every game. ILF has changed their jersey color but not their awful name, as Team Kicak is bringing back the usual suspects for their bid to win the D4 title. Cobblestone lost the D5 title game last year and Darryl Carr QB Superstar just said “screw it, we’ll go up anyway”, bringing along most of the same guys but I believe he’s got a handful of new ladies this season. The Creekers made the jump up to D4 after winning D5, and they’re largely the same squad despite the loss of Missy Keem who brought them into the league, but now it seems can no longer play which is always a bummer to hear. Vaspian drops down from D3, and for good reason. They lost Drew and Brian to various reasons (see: Topper and Marriage) but they were proactive and made some signings along the way, including some of Spinelli’s Plumbing who aren’t with us this season. The Tater Tots made a jump up into D4, as their never ending search for a QB ended with B joining the squad. Despite being told they can stay in D5 if they wish, Drunk Meg’s Husband decided he’d like the challenge of D4. Shout out to him for not running from competition. Speaking of not running from competition, The Roaring 20’s are a team of brand new people who signed up and went straight to D1, wanting to play with the best the TSL has to offer. While badass, Jeff Krol (presumably wanting to avoid a “The Replacements” situation from a few years ago where a new team joins a division they weren’t ready for, gets demolished every single week, and hasn’t been seen again since) talked them down into starting in D4 and seeing how things go. They feel themselves though, and that’s never a bad thing here in the TSL. Lastly, we have the Reset Warriors, a new team led by Shirtless Chris, his sister Shirted Cara, and his brother “Possibly Shirtless?” Mike put together a new squad to see how they’ll fare. While there’s rumors they’re going to go “skins” every game, it’s going to be interesting to see how they perform on the field as well. Good luck to them. 

 

Preseason Prediction: ILF will take the D4 title because Becca will more than likely miss Championship Week for some terrible reason over the Cunning Stunts in the finals. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Creekers vs Tater Tots (+7) - While this is both teams’ first game in D4, it won’t be too great of a barometer for how either will fare in the division. It feels like the perfect set up for a Tater Tots “we did some good things, we just need some time to get on the same page” early season loss for a team with a new QB. CREEKERS BY 10

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs The Roaring 20’s (+10) - It’s a simple case of brand new team vs long term team that hasn’t changed much in their existence. ILF admittedly keeps looking like they’re building something special, and this feels like an even bigger breakout season than they’ve had before. I’m sure I just doomed them to lose by 20, but since I have no idea who TR20 is, I’ll go with the “known”. ILF BY 13

 

Cunning Stunts vs Reset Warriors (+16) - Shirts or not, The Reset Warriors drawing the Stunts in their first game is just cruel. The scheduling gods did them no favors to start. CUNNING STUNTS BY 20

 

Cobblestone vs The Roaring 20s (+6) - TR20 gets a world class, first ballot, sure fire TSL Hall of Famer in Darryl Carr QB Superstar on their first day? How lucky are they? They’ll get to learn from one of the best to ever do it, which can only make them stronger for the rest of the season. COBBLESTONE BY 10

D5:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Travis Henry’s Kids (3-1)

GUCCI (4-1)

Come From Behind (5-1)

Power Puff Girls (8-1)

TMA (12-1)

Not So Sticky (15-1)

Stir The Sauce (18-1)

Two Tuddies (20-1)

 

Preseason Hype: Yes, you’re reading this correctly. THK, or more aptly John Langley, couldn’t get it done in D4, so he’s begged the ‘powers that be’ to put him in D5 where he belongs. THK remains largely the same otherwise, as Langley will have Pete and Aaron to throw to, which almost feels unfair in D5. But I guess Stella needs to get his groove back somehow. GUCCI returns mostly intact, only losing Chris Wolcott who chose to stay with the Tuddies. While playoff success has eluded GUCCI, Kelly Kane and company will once again be in the mix to win the whole thing come June. Come From Behind is back yet again, and they’ll be scoring touchdowns and slamming drinks at the bar. They’re another perennial contender, and I can’t imagine them not having a say in the title race. The Power Puff Girls are a Father Baker remix, ditching Dave Baker (who never showed up for them anyway, jerk) for Kyle Conniff, and dropping a division as well as the ladies work out the kinks that made life tough for them last season. TMA joins the PPG and THK in dropping down a division, as last season’s “Boccio experiment” went not so great. With Boccio back in D1, and Diana off to grow Boccio 2.0, TMA continues to look a little different every season as it has for the last few seasons now. One of the best teams to play against, you know you’ll see them at the bar and having fun all over the place. Hopefully this works out a bit better for them. Not So Sticky is on the revenge tour after Carly Reeb was a big jerk and ditched them for the Jabronies. You know what you’re getting with NSS: Huggie Bombs, Trick Plays, and a lot of fun. Stir The Sauce is a Woodpeckers Remix team from a few seasons ago, with a lot of old faces making their return to the league. And finally we have the Tud Buds, as the Two Tuddies moved up to D5 after taking the D6 title last season. They have pretty much the same team as the championship squad from last year, not sure how they’re going to do against the tougher competition. 

 

Preseason Prediction: I think we’ll see THK show why they should’ve stayed in D4, winning the title over Come From Behind. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Stir The Sauce vs TMA (EVEN) - When we last saw the Woodpeckers, they were doing quite well in the league, and STS looks to continue that tradition. They get their first shot playing against TMA, the wily and plucky veterans. At the end of the day, with TMA losing all of their tall guys, I don’t think there’s anyone that can cover Dan Farinacci, and that’s all she wrote. STIR THE SAUCE BY 12

 

Not So Sticky vs Two Tuddies (EVEN) - If I recall, these two had a close game that ended in wrestling finishing moves being done on each other not too long ago. Either way, the Tuddies have grown leaps and bounds since then, and Not So Sticky is still, well, the same. This is going to be a fun, light hearted affair which is the perfect way to start the season. TWO TUDDIES BY 1

 

GUCCI vs Stir The Sauce (+10) - STS gets a much harder draw in Game 2, taking on a GUCCI squad that’s been one of the division’s best for the last few seasons. This game will tell if STS is going to be one of the division’s elite or not. Keep stirring. GUCCI BY 14

 

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Power Puff Girls (+13) - The biggest part of Father Baker’s issues last season was defense. It’s hard for any gender team to immediately figure out what they’re doing on that side of the ball when most females are used to rushing or playing the wing. It takes reps to get to “Cunning Stunts” levels of play on defense. Meanwhile, the ladies have to figure out how to stop Pistol Pete and Aaron from high pointing the ball again, and again, and again. Not an ideal first week matchup for the PPGs. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 17

D6:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Blitzkrieg (3-1)

Pit Harade (4-1)

Sausage McMuffins (6-1)

Mighty Drunks (6-1)

Balls Deep (6-1)

Sticky Laces (10-1)

Back That Pass Up (12-1)

Dogg Pound (12-1)

Dark Knights (12-1)

Just Joshing (12-1)

Sticky Laces (12-1)

 

Preseason Hype: When a division has 4 brand new teams, it’s hard to accurately give them proper odds. As a result, all 4 of the new teams get tied for the longest odds with Back That Pass Up, who were not very great last season, but either way they represent “the bar” for these new teams, with the exception being Sticky Laces who have slightly better odds. The midseason odds will be a lot better, I’m sure. While there won’t be much for me to say about the Dogg Pound, Dark Knights (who are a returning franchise with Andy Goldyn, but the rest are completely new?) and Just Joshing, hopefully they’ll take a second to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and say hello so I can learn who they are and what they’re about. The Sticky Laces have Sticky DNA from the Sticky Family Tree, so at the VERY least you know they can play football. There are some recognizable names from Social Co-Ed Football, so I’m thinking they’ll have a leg up on the rest of the competition. Back That Pass Up, who I mentioned earlier, is running it back again with Alex Lee at QB and James T. Hearn there to catch everything thrown his way. Hopefully the rest of them got a little better or it could be another long season for them. Starting back at the top, Blitzkrieg is here, and it's Spring, so that should mean that Alex is back at QB. Light Red Hoodie Guy (and Light Red Hoodie Imposter Guy) seem to be back as well as the other characters. And looking at the roster, I see Allie Metzger there?!? Allie was a superstar a few seasons ago before her knee had other ideas. If she’s back back, Blitzkrieg just gained a valuable weapon. But more than likely I’ll get an email from BK letting me know it's a “just in case she can play a game or two” scenario. Either way, BK stays the team to beat. Pit Harade returns after a successful season last year that saw Rayanna Andersen walk away as Female of the Year and Sam Pezzino get nominated for Male of the year in D6. Tall Bearded Guy is always a force to be reckoned with. The questions remain at QB: is Dave Walter throwing, is Gordon? Is it Ray? Either way, they look to be more dangerous than last season. The McMuffins are back, and so are the best jerseys in the league. SMM had a bit of an up and down season last year, kind of tailing off near the end of it. I believe Alex has his team a bit more focused and they’re a “dark horse” team to watch this season, if you can call them that. The Mighty Drunks are all over the place historically. Some weeks, they seem like they should be in D4, others, they seem like they should be in Mile. When they’re on though, look out. Lastly, Balls Deep returns the same squad from last season it seems, and once again they feel like an afterthought. Last season they took D6 a little bit by storm, pulling “upsets” on teams thought to be better than they were. There isn’t a team on here that Balls Deep can’t beat, and with some more consistency overall, a championship isn’t that unrealistic. 

 

Preseason Prediction: Blitzkrieg finally does this thing (I HAVE to be right some time, don’t I?) and beats Pit Harade in the championship. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Balls Deep vs Back That Pass Up (+10) - Balls Deep gets a chance right out of the gate to show everyone why they belong with the contenders. BTPU gets a chance right out of the gate to show that they’re improved from last season. It’s an intriguing Week 1 matchup for sure. I just don’t see how BTPU improved that much right now. BALLS DEEP BY 12

 

Blitzkrieg vs Sticky Laces (+8) - BK begins its 14th annual “this is the year I swear” campaign taking on a new team to the TSL in Sticky Laces. As always, I’m leery of any “Sticky” team, which constantly proves that at the very least, again, they know the game. I can’t imagine BK gets upset right away though. BLITZKRIEG BY 10

 

Pit Harade vs Dogg Pound (+10) - I have no idea what to expect from the Dogg Pound, but Pit Harade was one of the better D6 teams last season, and with everyone back for them I’d wager it’ll be hard for a brand new team to get the hang of things right away. PIT HARADE BY 17

 

Mighty Drunks vs Just Joshing (+10) - I have no idea what to expect from Just Joshing, but the Mighty Drunks were one of the better D6 teams last season, and with everyone back for them I’d wager it’ll be hard for a brand new team to get the hang of things right away. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 17

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Dark Knights (+10) - I have no idea what to expect from the Dark Knights, but the McMuffins were one of the better D6 teams last season, and with everyone back for them I’d wager it’ll be hard for a brand new team to get the hang of things right away. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 17

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• Is Topper REALLY back or is all smoke and mirrors? I assure you, Topper has returned, and when you see him, buy that man a drink. He no longer does shots because he’s old, but he’s still available for beer and wine. When you buy him a drink, take a picture, and send it to Jeff Krol who will then have the entire collage posted on Facebook ASAP. 

 

 

 

• Why are there only four fields? I swear to you, the Rose Garden is FINALLY about to start construction on the Topperdome, and while they haven’t actually done anything building wise, they’ve proceeded to cut down some trees and push the fields back a bit to make room for the work they’re going to be doing. There’s supposed to be 5 fields this fall! 

 

 

 

• What division is shaping up to be the best one? All of them? Can I say that? While D1 is too small to really be considered, D2 and D3 truly feel like anyone can win them. D5 feels that way too. If these new teams work out in D6, that can be wild as well. This might be the most competitive overall the TSL has been in quite some time. Picking obvious favorites doesn’t seem possible, honestly. 

 

 

 

• Wait, construction? What will that do for parking? Good question! Once the Rose Garden actually starts building the Topperdome, parking is going to be, well, difficult. The league is preparing “parking plans” with the bar as we speak, details will become available once we have them! 

 

 

 

• Why didn’t you talk about my team more here? Because I don’t know who you are. We have a lot of new teams (league growth is good!) and that’s fantastic but if you (or your captain) don’t reach out to me, and my spies at the fields don’t tell me about your team, I can’t do much until you do. Please remember that I live in a log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa and unless I get an email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. from you, I can’t talk about you! I want to, trust me. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• Despite the league starting a week later than normal, the weather doesn’t seem to want to cooperate. The Buffalo weather is looking to be 63 degrees (yay!) but it looks like it’ll rain on and off all day (boo!). 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club is back up to 6 teams, but remember that it starts next week! 

 

 

 

• Three “underdog” teams I think can win their respective championships: Sticky Bandits, Scared Hitless, and the Power Puff Girls.

 

 

 

• While emailing me is the best way for ME to write about your team, you should also know that we have a TSL podcast! Joe K, Becca, sometimes Jeff Krol, and others do a weekly show where they discuss the last week’s games and interview someone from the league. Give it a listen, and you can be on an episode too! (With Topper back, there may be a show or two from Topper’s Poolside Cabana as well.)

 

 

• Sign the waiver if you haven’t yet. Jeff Krol is an insane crazy person who will personally hunt you down if you didn’t do it already. The link is right here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1NqaQgYi1a2Sr-vlV_Nab-G7gIJhM3fE0O_xWzK0s5P0/edit . Just do it and make your teammates do it too. 

 

 

 

• Some important dates for the season: June 8th is Lenny and Rameer Day. If you’re going to pick a day to stay at the fields from 9am until close, this is the one. Come join us as we celebrate two of the most influential people of the TSL, who we miss every single day. 

 

 

 

• If you have an idea for something cool for the league, the website, the podcast, the bar, ANYTHING, feel free to find Jeff Krol, Topper (he’s back on the board, whether he likes it or not), Joe K, Garrett, or Bs Brother and let them know asap. We’re always open to hearing about new ideas that make the league more fun.

 

 

 

• Remember, you can’t use subs in the playoffs, so if you’re walking around with some open roster spots, find some people to fill them just in case the playoffs come and all of a sudden Johnny, Billy, Susie, Maria, and Kevin all can’t show up even though they knew playoffs were June 22nd and 29th way ahead of time. A warm body is better than playing with only 5 players. (Ignore that teams won playoff games with only 5 players last season, thank you).

 

 

 

• The Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Creekers vs Tater Tots

• 11:00 - Practice Squad vs Topper’s All-Stars and Todd

• 12:00 - Bullet Club vs Let’s Get Reccked

• 1:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Eyes Uptown

• 2:00 - Freeballers vs Mavericks

• 3:00 - Cobblestone vs The Roaring 20s

 

 

 

• Make sure you stop by the bar to start making new friends and having a blast out there. The more people you know in this league, the better it gets. The TSL is responsible for so many marriages, babies, divorces, court appearances, Friendsgivings, massive group sing-a-longs, dunk tanks, and so much more that you’re doing yourself a disservice if you don’t come hang out for a bit! 

 

And with that, the TSL Spring 2024 season is underway! Good luck to everyone this weekend at the fields and buy Topper a drink or three! 

-GF OUT

PLAYOFF THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 13 October 2023 15:09

Published: Friday, 13 October 2023 15:09

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 3100

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, we’re here! The moment you’ve all been waiting for has arrived as the Race for Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality is set to begin. On Saturday, October 14th, in the Year of Our Lord 2023 44 of the TSL’s 49 teams will be preparing to do battle at the Lenny Alba Fields behind the Rose Garden to decide the 7 championships that are on the line. Again, Breakfast Club counts, just ask Topper. The only teams that won’t be playing either have a bye into Championship Saturday (the Top 3 teams in D1) or they’ve already been eliminated from playoff contention (the two Breakfast Club teams that lost last week). 

 

But for the rest of you, Playoff Saturday is the most important thing on your plate this weekend. For 8 grueling weeks, the TSL teams have played 9 regular season games in some of the best Fall Session weather that we’ve ever had. It made the Spring Sessions jealous. Naturally, that all comes crashing down. As the stakes get higher, the elements get harder. As of right now, my Weather Channel app says that Playoff Saturday is going to be a bit of a wet one, as there is rain in the forecast, it’ll be about 52 degrees, and the wind will be about 13 mph, coming from the East. If anyone has ever played in the wind on the fields, the open space tends to make a slight breeze feel like a hurricane. Prepare accordingly. Dress accordingly. Bring a change of clothes. 

 

Do whatever is necessary for you to be ready for your shot at Immortality. You only get two chances a year to prove that you’re one of the best Social Co-Ed Football teams in history. (Three, if you count the TSL Indoor League. The minor league championships don’t really count.) Everything you’ve done since late August brought you here, to this moment. Every single team other than the Cunning Stunts has at least 2 losses. And the Stunts aren’t perfect either, as Playoff Saturday has been their biggest opponent for the last few seasons. No teams should feel safe, as we’ve consistently seen that Playoff Saturday brings us a handful (or more) of upsets. #1 seeds constantly go home early. Just ask GUCCI about last season. 

 

The TSL regular season is just the warm up rounds for the next two weeks. You use those 8 weeks to work on your offense, your defense, your time management, and whatever else needs to be corrected for THIS MOMENT. THIS WEEK. Do not think you’re just going to coast into Championship Saturday. It never ends well for teams that do. 

 

After this week, only 24 teams will remain. Are you going to be one of them? 

(Disclaimer: As usual, the lines are given to me by the TSL Official Odds Committee in Las Vegas, The “TSL Rank” is based off a league wide overall ranking using very specific qualifications that Topper came up with on a wine bender 15 years ago and can’t remember. And of course we still just go with it. The PF/PA rankings are within the division, not the league. The “Last 3” is a team’s record in the final third of their season, to show who’s coming in “hot” and who’s coming in “not”.)

D1:

 

The Contenders: 

 

Legends (2-1)

Eyes Downtown (3-1)

 

The Pretenders:

Losing Streak (8-1)

Sticky Bandits (15-1)

Frodo Swaggins (20-1)

The Story: The Legends and Eyes Downtown both improved from the TEIM fire sale, and have distanced themselves slightly from the pack. Losing Streak is still a VERY good team that can’t be slept on. Sticky Bandits go from 8-0 to 3-6 in the blink of an eye, but to say they’re not capable of winning it all would be foolish. Frodo Swaggins is starting to show signs of life in the division, and they continue to get better. The Top 3 seeds all have byes into Championship Saturday, only giving us the 4-5 “play in” game this week. 

#4 Sticky Bandits (3-6) vs #5 Frodo Swaggins (2-8)

 

Points For: SB 32.22 (4th), Frodo 31.10 (5th)

Points Against: SB 33.67 (4th), Frodo 49.00 (5th)

TSL Rank: SB 37th, Frodo 45th

Last 3: SB 1-2, Frodo 1-2

Past Games:  37-28 SB, 39-30 Frodo, 38-36 Frodo

Line: Sticky Bandits (-3)

D1’s only game this week has some potential. The Sticky Bandits are mired in a rough season that they didn’t quite expect back in August. 3-6 was never on anyone’s mind in Sticky Nation, but here we are. And to make things worse, Sticky gets to play Frodo Swaggins, who may only have two wins on the season, but they’re both against Sticky. Frodo has been playing much better this season, and they’re looking like they’re starting to really “get it” in D1. They’re a talented team, but there’s a lot of newer players to the league that are still learning the TSL game in Social Co-Ed Football’s toughest division. It’s a trial by fire that they’re slowly getting the hang of. As much as I want to call the upset here, I can’t quite bring myself to do it. Sticky pulls this out in a close one. STICKY BANDITS BY 3.

D2: 

 

The Contenders: 

 

Freeballers (3-1)

The Untouchaballs (3-1)

Mavericks (5-1)

The “Don’t Be Surprised When We Win This Thing”ers:

 

Can’t Touch This (7-1)

Cle-Avengers Assemble (7-1)

THREAD (7-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

Scared Hitless (25-1)

Practice Squad (25-1)

The Story: Freeballers just figured it out and they’re on fire right now, rocketing up the standings the last few weeks. The Untouchaballs are ALWAYS contenders. The Mavericks can score in bunches, but will always worry about that defense. Can’t Touch This was the talk of the league at 6-0, but they’ve seemed to be a paper tiger ever since. Cle-Ass had a strong end to the season, as last year’s champs (sort of) can’t be counted out. THREAD has knocked off the rust and they’re looking like a hell of a veteran team you don’t want to play. Scared Hitless and Practice Squad just didn’t get the results they were hoping for this season, but as always, these two teams have a history of being Giant Killers in the playoffs, so do NOT sleep on them. 

#1 Freeballers (7-2) vs #8 Practice Squad (2-7)

 

Points For: FB 41.22 (1st), PS 19.89 (8th)

Points Against: FB 26.78 (1st), PS 37.78 (8th)

TSL Rank: FB 5th, PS 44th

Last 3: FB 3-0, PS 1-2

Past Games:  36-7 FB

Line: Freeballers (-14)

 

The Freeballers have had a rocket strapped to their backs for a few weeks now, and they’ve looked like D2’s most complete team overall. They’re first in offense and in defense. It took Scott and company a couple of seasons to really figure out what they were doing in D2, but they finally have the right personnel in place (which apparently means Hogan at QB, who knew?) and there’s just something about them this season that I really like. Practice Squad continues to hang in there in D2, and as they’ve won 2 more games this year than last year, they’re continuing to improve. What this team has done in the last few years is nothing short of impressive: Win D6, Lose D5 in OT, Win D4, Win D3 as an 8 seed, move to D2 and compete. Not very many teams have made that climb, which is why I’ll always point it out so our newer readers put some respect on the name. Can B and Team Lantz get this done? If they were playing ANY other D2 team, I’d say yes. But this Freeballers team is special. FREEBALLERS BY 16

#2 Can’t Touch This (6-3) vs #7 Scared Hitless (2-7)

 

Points For: CTT 33.33 (4th), SH 27.33 (7th) 

Points Against: CTT 32.89 (3rd), SH 34.22 (4th)

TSL Rank: CTT 13th, SH 40th

Last 3: CTT 0-3, SH 0-3

Past Games:  36-23 CTT, 25-22 CTT

Line: Can’t Touch This (-7)

Can’t Touch This won D3 last spring, came into D2, and won their first 6 games to be the talk of the entire TSL. QB Ryan Dougherty could do no wrong, as he’s expertly used his talented group of guys and girls to jump out to that 6-0 start. Since then? Things haven’t gone CTT’s way. They’ve lost their last 3 games, getting blown out by Freeballers and dropping two to THREAD. Which team are we getting? Scared Hitless moved to D2 after a few tough D1 seasons. They started off great, going 2-0 in Week 1, only to start a 7 game losing streak that had some close losses, but also some blowouts too. The offense continues to struggle as SH has yet to find ways to replace the talent that’s left them over the last few seasons, although the defense is still pretty good. If Scared Hitless can slow down the CTT offense, they have a real shot at this upset. I have a feeling we’ll see SH use some of the tricks they’ve picked up in D1 and resume their role as a giant killer here. SCARED HITLESS BY 2

#3 The Untouchaballs (6-3) vs #6 THREAD (4-5)

 

Points For: UT 37.67 (3rd), THREAD 32.11 (6th) 

Points Against: UT 27.78 (2nd), THREAD 34.78 (6th)

TSL Rank: UT 16th, THREAD 33rd

Last 3: UT 2-1, THREAD 2-1

Past Games:  47-41 THREAD

Line: The Untouchaballs (-3)

We seem to have ourselves a bit of a big game right here. The Untouchaballs didn’t have their best season ever, but something tells me they’re more focused on what they do in the playoffs than how they get there. The talent is still everywhere on this team, as Jeremy Burr still has Mel, Matt, and Ryan to throw to. And lots of times, that’s all he needs. They’re talented on both sides of the ball, and when they’re on, look out. THREAD was really only a couple of plays away from being the top seed in this division (or at least #2) as they’ve lost one point games to PS AND SH. They’ve beaten Freeballers, UT, and CTT (the top 3 seeds) and are 4-0 against them. The talent is there, with Dalfonso, Turner, Smith, and other top names from 2017. They’re very capable of pulling the upset, but I think UT has another gear they didn’t hit yet this season. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 2

#4 Mavericks (5-4) vs #5 Cle-Avengers Assemble (4-5)

 

Points For: Mavs 40.00 (2nd), Cle-Ass 32.33 (5th)

Points Against: Mavs 35.22 (7th), Cle-Ass 34.33 (5th)

TSL Rank: Mavs 23rd, Cle-Ass 27th

Last 3: Mavs 2-1, Cle-Ass 2-1

Past Games:  30-21 Mavs

Line: Mavericks (-6) 

These two teams are very similar in that they’re right in the middle of the standings and both believe they could’ve been higher if not for some roster issues on some weeks and if they had made one more play here or there. The Mavericks are an offensive machine with Jordan Lawson running the show. He consistently uses his top notch females and tall guys to move the ball all over the field. The Mavericks’ Achilles heel since joining the TSL, however, has been their defense, which is near the bottom of the division. Cle-Ass are the sort of defending champions only because Travis had to revamp the roster a bit. But he did it quite well, adding female superstars like Maggie and Casey. They got off to a slow start, mostly because they didn’t play much early in the season, but they’ve been on a roll since. They’re 2-1 in their last three, but that loss was a 1 point loss to the Freeballers. Cle-Ass has shown they can hang with anyone. There’s going to be points scored in this one, and it’s going to be close. CLE-AVENGERS ASSEMBLE BY 2

D3: 

 

The Contenders: 

 

The Family (2-1)

The Malones (3-1)

Wanderers (6-1)

Keller Whales (8-1)

 

The “I Can See It”s:

 

Bullet Club (12-1)

Let’s Get Reccked (12-1)

 

Vaspian:

 

Vaspian (20-1)

 

The Pretenders: 

 

716 (30-1)

The Story: The Family and The Malones inserted themselves into the TSL’s most competitive division as of late, started slow, and then started to walk all over the division. Keller Whales have been nothing but consistent with Damien Keller at QB. The Wanderers had a rough stretch before getting their groove back. Bullet Club started hot, lost a lot of close games, and finally won last week. LGR is the most talented 2-7 team in history, never having the whole team at one game. Vaspian was making strides before it all came crashing down for them. And 716 never quite fit in with D3. 

#1 The Family (7-2) vs #8 716 (2-7)

 

Points For: FAM 45.88 (1st), 716 28.56 (7th)

Points Against: FAM 31.88 (3rd), 716 43.22 (8th)

TSL Rank: FAM 4th, 716 43rd

Last 3: FAM 3-0, 716 0-3

Past Games:  53-38 FAM

Line: The Family (-24)

The Family was a new team to the TSL, but it was loaded with talent. They started off 1-2, but rattled off a 6 game winning streak (that they’re still on) where they just can’t stop scoring. In fact, I think they just scored RIGHT NOW somehow. They’re almost unfair. Terrell Bolden is a D1 QB hiding in D3, throwing to one of TSL best ever in Asian Pete (it’s okay he signs his emails to me that way). But then you get Leseaon Washington of Peachy Platoon fame, and budding star Brit Perry? This team is STACKED. 716 was supposed to have B at QB, but apparently Derek Pew took over and despite having some really talented players (Donte Ridgeway, James Celotto, etc) they just can’t get it together. They’ve lost their last 3 while allowing 173 points in those games, and I don’t believe that’s a defense you can just fix in one week. Getting the juggernaut that is The Family just isn’t fair. THE FAMILY BY 28

#2 The Malones (6-3) vs #7 Let’s Get Reccked (2-7)

 

Points For: Malones 44.22 (2nd), LGR 29.00 (6th)

Points Against: Malones 33.22 (4th), LGR 30.63 (2nd)

TSL Rank: Malones 10th, LGR 39th

Last 3: Malones 3-0, LGR 0-3

Past Games:  47-31 Malones

Line: The Malones (-10)

The Malones would be the absolute talk of the TSL if they weren’t in the same division as The Family, who are SLIGHTLY better. They’ve basically had the same season. The Malones started out 0-3 and then proceeded to go on a 6 game winning streak, where they averaged 47.5 points per game. They’ve done it with two QBs, although Rhace Colon has been really good, running around with his feet and his mouth, giving you old school “Matty Ice” vibes. (It’s a compliment, trust me). They’re highly confident and the biggest thing my informants have told me all season is that their girls are phenomenal. They get an LGR team that’s somehow 2-7 even with the 2nd best D in the league. A team that trots out Dave Baker, Kyle Conniff, and Ricky Recckio every week with Alex Buchlis throwing should be getting more than 2 wins. Of course, getting them there has been an issue. If they all show up, we could be seeing an upset here. But I have to see it to believe it. THE MALONES BY 8

#3 Keller Whales (6-3) vs #6 Vaspian (4-5)

 

Points For: KW 36.33 (4th), Vaspian 21.00 (8th)

Points Against: KW 34.22 (5th), Vaspian 34.44 (6th)

TSL Rank: KW 15th, Vaspian 29th

Last 3: KW 2-1, Vaspian 0-3

Past Games:  45-30 KW

Line: Keller Whales (-10)

The Keller Whales are just a very consistent team. They win more than they lose, They don’t usually put up huge amounts of points, nor do they allow huge amounts of points either. They’re right in the middle of the standings, offensive rank, and defensive rank too. Damien Keller took the reins at QB and while he has had some growing pains this season, he’s been mostly good. He has his mother and aunt (Nicole and Katie) as a pair of sure handed safety blankets, and he makes good use of Dad, Grandpa (on the sidelines with decades of knowledge) and “Uncle Eric” among others. It's a lovely family affair over here. Vaspian at one point was 4-1 and in first place in D3. Those days seem so long ago for Brian Orzo as attendance issues and drops have done him no favors on this current 4 game losing streak where they’ve been outscored 170-42. Vaspian’s usual shutdown defense hasn’t shown up much this season, and with the offense sputtering, it doesn’t make for a fun time. KELLER WHALES BY 13

#4 Wanderers (5-4) vs #5 Bullet Club (4-5)

 

Points For: Wanderers 40.44 (3rd), BC 30.00 (5th)

Points Against: Wanderers 36.00 (7th), BC 30.44 (1st)

TSL Rank: Wanderers 24th, BC 26th

Last 3: Wanderers 3-0, BC 1-2

Past Games: 43-34 Wanderers

Line: Wanderers (-4)

Now this is fun. The Wanderers and Bullet Club have had some exciting games the last two seasons, and now they get to do it in the playoffs. These two teams took similar paths to this point. Both started off hot, then lost a bunch of games in a row, and then started winning at the season’s end. These teams match up quite well. Frank Laudico plays QB like no other, and his unique style combined with Sal’s talent really causes some mismatches for the defense. Wanderers always know what to do no matter which 6 of them are on the field, and it's always fun to watch them work. Bullet Club had a few different QBs throw for them this season, but it's John Langley’s job now. He’s using George and Nick very well, and all of the ladies on the team - Steph, Ashley, Jess, Kelsey, and newcomer Lexi all have made great plays throughout the season. The BC defense has been great all year and if Deak is going to return for the playoffs, there’s a lot to like here. This may be the Game of the Day. WANDERERS BY 1

D4:

 

The Contenders:

 

Cunning Stunts (4-1)

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (5-1)

Puckett All-Stars (7-1)

Buffalo Vice (7-1)

Passing While Intoxicated (10-1)

Travis Henry’s Kids (12-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

Father Baker (20-1)

TMA (40-1)

The Story: The Stunts were out for blood, crushing everyone they played against for the most part. Meanwhile the 2nd through 6th seeded teams all played each other very closely and they’re all evenly matched. Father Baker struggled with some growing pains in their first season, and TMA had a rough go of it this year. 

#1 Cunning Stunts (9-0) vs #8 TMA (0-9)

 

Points For: CS 51.00 (1st), TMA 25.67 (8th)

Points Against: CS 32.11 (4th), TMA 45.67 (8th)

TSL Rank: CS 1st, TMA 49th

Last 3: CS 3-0, TMA 0-3

Past Games:  45-22 Stunts, 70-44 Stunts

Line: Cunning Stunts (-22)

An absolute David vs Goliath matchup as the TSL’s highest ranked team gets to play its lowest ranked team. The Stunts have averaged over 50 points a game this season and they’ve never looked better. Joey and his girls have been humming along, and have looked simply unstoppable. The Stunts roster is a who’s who of female talent in the TSL, and they’re just a nightmare for anyone to play against. TMA may have been hastily moved up a division with the addition of Michael Boccio-Bernal, and as a result things couldn’t have gone worse. This isn’t the TMA of old, as many of their top players have moved on. They still have talent, and they still have some of the best people in the TSL on their roster, but unfortunately this season didn’t go their way. CUNNING STUNTS BY 18

#2 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (6-3) vs #7 Father Baker (2-7)

 

Points For: ILF 28.78 (7th), FB 34.00 (4th)

Points Against: ILF 23.44 (1st), FB 43.00 (7th)

TSL Rank: ILF 18th, FB 42nd

Last 3: ILF 3-0, FB 1-2

Past Games:  36-18 ILF

Line: Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (-9)

ILF ended up getting into 2nd place in the division by ending the season on a 4 game winning streak. Andrew Kicak’s squad can kinda score some points, but they mostly do their damage on defense, where they were tops in the division by over seven points. They get a good matchup in Father Baker, as the TSL’s newest gender team is still working on defense and getting Dave Baker to even show up for them. Amber Hay, Maddie Norton, Robin Makula, Jessie Kieta, and others form a ridiculously talented roster. They can’t be slept on, but the inconsistency on both sides of the ball (overall defense, whoever the QB is) tells me they’re still a season away. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 12

 

#3 Buffalo Vice (5-4) vs #6 Travis Henry’s Kids (4-5)

 

Points For: Vice 38.11 (2nd), THK 29.78 (6th)

Points Against: Vice 34.11 (6th), THK 32.33 (5th)

TSL Rank: Vice 19th, THK 32nd

Last 3: Vice 1-2, THK 0-3

Past Games:  31-29 THK, 49-41 Vice

Line: Buffalo Vice (-3)

We get ourselves a rubber match here! Vice and THK split the season series in two very close games that could’ve gone either way. The book on Vice has been the same for years: Andy Clark is going to throw bombs to a Gonzalez or Frank Pizza and then he’s going to hit Caitlyn Mason underneath and she’s going to shred people’s ligaments with her jukes. Add in a very talented rest of the roster who have been here before, and you’ve got yourself a tough team to play against. THK took a step forward this season but not exactly as big of a step as they wanted. Langley has been good, and Pistol Pete is always excellent. The knock on THK was always their girls, but after a free agent addition to fix that didn’t work out, the THK females have all stepped up and improved, turning a perceived weakness into a bit of a strength. For whatever reason, THK always turns it up a notch or two in the playoffs. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 3

#4 Passing While Intoxicated (5-4) vs #5 Puckett All-Stars (5-4)

 

Points For: PWI 29.78 (5th), PAS 35.11 (3rd)

Points Against: PWI 30.89 (3rd), PAS 30.67 (2nd)

TSL Rank: PWI 20th, PAS 21st

Last 3: PWI 2-1, PAS 2-1

Past Games:  43-30 PWI

Line: EVEN

PWI and Puckett are two extremely closely matched teams. They’re right next to each other in the TSL rankings, they both have similar defensive rankings, and while PAS has a better offense, PWI also beat them earlier in the season. We’re looking at one of the best games of the day here. Colorado Mike has put together a great team yet again, and their record would probably be even better if not for the consistent absence of QB Buddy Lee. Everyone on this roster is talented, nobody is a weak link. On the other hand, nobody really stands out as a star either. PAS is built the same way. After a couple of seasons putting up video game numbers, Puckett has regressed back into who they’ve been for what feels like the 10 seasons before that. TJ Ferguson has been spotted throwing again, they still have some VERY talented women, I swear once a week someone emails me that “Mike Gelz caught another long one”. The only thing left for Puckett to do as “their old selves” is win D4 as a 5 seed. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 7

D5:

 

The Contenders:

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing (3-1)

Come From Behind (4-1)

GUCCI (4-1)

Creekers (6-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

BAADies (10-1)

Cobblestone (12-1)

Goatsack! (20-1)

Not So Sticky (50-1)

The Story: Spinelli’s didn’t need to drop a division as they’ve proceeded to dunk on everyone like they never left. CFB and GUCCI are once again at the top of the division and looking to avoid a horrible Playoff Saturday, again. The Creekers have some life in them for sure. The rest of the division probably doesn’t have a chance, but it’ll be fun to watch them try. 

#1 Spinelli’s Plumbing (7-2) vs #8 Not So Sticky (0-9)

 

Points For: SP 41.33 (1st), NSS 20.11 (8th)

Points Against: SP 31.56 (4th), NSS 38.22 (7th)

TSL Rank: SP 6th, NSS 48th

Last 3: SP 3-0, NSS 0-3

Past Games:  26-20 SP

Line: Spinelli’s Plumbing (-20)

Okay Spinelli’s, there was no reason for you to go to D5 you jerks. Tell me if you heard this before: Spinelli’s Plumbing, on the arm strength of Nick Hawes, is a top title contender after averaging over 40 points a game, 5 more than the 2nd place team in the division. Whatever issues they thought they may have after a season off is long gone. They’re terrific, ending the season on a 5 game winning streak and coming in hot. Not So Sticky, Not So Much. While they relish being “giant killers” in D5, this isn’t the year for them. They just feel off, and even their usual fantastic defense isn’t there this season. While they held Spinelli’s to 26 points (one of only two times they were held to under 36 points all year - Creekers held them to 23), that was in Spinelli’s first game of the season in Week 3. They shook the cobwebs out since. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 14

#2 Come From Behind (6-3) vs #7 Cobblestone (3-6)

 

Points For: CFB 36.11 (2nd), Cobblestone 32.44 (5th)

Points Against: CFB 27.00 (3rd), Cobblestone 34.11 (5th)

TSL Rank: CFB 9th, Cobblestone 38th

Last 3: CFB 2-1, Cobblestone 2-1

Past Games:  20-12 CFB, 46-30 Cobblestone

Line: Come From Behind (-6)

A QB matchup for the ages comes to Playoff Saturday as Paul LoVullo takes on Darryl Carr QB Superstar in a hair vs hair match! Okay, fine, they’re not doing a hair vs hair match but that would be fantastic. Anyway, Come From Behind had another typical CFB season this year. Great offense, very good defense, compete for the regular season title, and maybe lose a game or two they probably shouldn’t have. Paul continues to throw a football harder than people half his age, and all of the younger people make plays for them. Cobblestone really got it together in the second half of the season, and they’ve lost a couple 1 score games. They’re not a typical 7 seed, but CFB already knows that having lost to them not too long ago. This matchup has everything, and should be considered a must watch. COBBLESTONE BY 4

#3 GUCCI (6-3) vs #6 Goatsack! (3-5-1)

 

Points For: GUCCI 33.11 (4th), Goatsack 29.44 (7th)

Points Against: GUCCI 24.56 (1st), Goatsack 35.22 (6th)

TSL Rank: GUCCI 11th, Goatsack! 34th

Last 3: GUCCI 3-0, Goatsack! 0-3

Past Games:  46-32 GUCCI

Line: GUCCI (-10)

GUCCI returns to the scene of the crime on Playoff Saturday where they were upset as the #1 seed in D5 in the spring. Kelly Kane and Co. have cruised through the season, picking up where they left off. I’m sure they’re much more aware of an upset and won’t look past Goatsack! this year, which is bad news for Goatsack!. Goatsack! had an up and down season that I’m not certain they’re too happy with. 3 wins and a tie are nice, but they were only against NSS (twice), Cobblestone, and they tied the BAADies. Goatsack! is more than likely going to struggle to score against the top ranked GUCCI defense. GUCCI BY 13

 

#4 Creekers (6-3) vs #5 BAADies (4-4-1)

 

Points For: Creekers 31.22 (6th), BAADies 34.78 (3rd)

Points Against: Creekers 25.44 (2nd), BAADies 42.44 (8th)

TSL Rank: Creekers 14th, BAADies 25th

Last 3: Creekers 1-2, BAADies 1-2

Past Games:  32-26 BAADies

Line: Creekers (-3)

The Creekers come into this 4-5 matchup a little disappointed. They spent a long time atop the D5 standings before sputtering to the finish line. While their defense is top notch, the Creekers play a BAADies team that’s already beaten them. In fact, the Creekers biggest issue this season has been gender teams (GUCCI counts here because of Kelly), and they haven’t quite figured out how to beat them. With a BAADies team that has a lot of talent that can overcome Garrett at QB, this ends up being the worst possible first round matchup for Mullet Guy and the Creekers. Great band name though. BAADIES BY 7

D6:

 

The Contenders:

 

Balls Deep (4-1)

Blitzkrieg (4-1)

Pit Harade (4-1)

Sausage McMuffins (4-1)

 

The Pretenders:

 

Two Tuddies (8-1)

Mighty Drunks (12-1)

Just Get Open (20-1)

 

Back That Pass Up: 

 

Back That Pass Up (100-1)

The Story: Balls Deep goes 7-2 and the league apparently didn’t notice. They’re somehow underrated as a #1 seed. Blitzkrieg, Pit Harade, and the McMuffins all had very good seasons, and any of them wouldn’t surprise as a champion. The Two Tuddies are one of the biggest shockers of the season. A 4-5 record after being considered for D5 isn’t exactly what anyone expected. The Mighty Drunks are incredibly inconsistent. One week they look like world beaters, the next like they’re a brand new team. Just Get Open showed some promise for one week. Back That Pass Up is much more spry than in past seasons, but they’re still a few steps behind to even be considered a long shot for a title. 

#1 Balls Deep (7-2) vs #8 Back That Pass Up (1-8)

 

Points For: BD 31.11 (4th), BTPU 17.22 (8th)

Points Against: BD 24.11 (2nd), BTPU 34.56 (8th)

TSL Rank: BD 7th, BTPU 47th

Last 3: BD 3-0, BTPU 0-3

Past Games:  36-31 BD

Line: Balls Deep (-10)

Balls Deep comes into the playoffs riding a 4 game win streak that saw them rocket up the standings to claim 1st place. While their offense has been “just okay”, it's their defense that’s really been the story. They’re a bunch of unknowns (seriously, nobody has emailed me about them, that’s on them at this point) other than Baby Gronk, but whatever they’re doing is working. Back That Pass Up finally got their first win, and while they’ve been competitive in some games this year, there’s still a bit of growing pains going on there. Ironically one of those games they were competitive in was against Balls Deep, so maybe the idea of an upset isn’t so farfetched. But I can’t go with it. BALLS DEEP BY 8

#2 Blitzkrieg (6-3) vs #7 Just Get Open (2-7)

 

Points For: BK 31.44 (3rd), JGO 28.89 (5th)

Points Against: BK 29.67 (5th), JGO 32.89 (7th)

TSL Rank: BK 8th, JGO 41st

Last 3: BK 2-1, JGO 0-3

Past Games:  44-40 BK

Line: Blitzkrieg (-4)

Fall Blitzkrieg finished 2nd in the standings, but their metrics suggest that they’re a little bit more in the middle of the pack. That seems ridiculous, as any team that trots out league darling Light Red Hoodie Guy (and Light Red Hoodie Imposter Guy) should be favored to win the division every year. With that said, they get a Just Get Open team that never quite found their footing this season, other than a magical Week 2 of the season where they went 2-0. They’ve since lost 5 straight games, and they’ve had a few attendance issues that’s made getting on the same page a bit difficult. I think there’s upset alert potential here, but it’s not enough for me to pick it. BLITZKRIEG BY 3

#3 Pit Harade (6-3) vs #6 Mighty Drunks (4-5)

 

Points For: PH 34.33 (1st), MD 32.89 (2nd)

Points Against: PH 26.67 (3rd), MD 31.78 (6th)

TSL Rank: PH 12th, MD 31st

Last 3: PH 3-0, MD 1-2

Past Games:  52-6 MD

Line: Pit Harade (-8)

In Week 1 of the TSL season back in August, the Mighty Drunks decimated Pit Harade 52-6. Since that week, these two teams have gone in completely different directions. Pit Harade cycled through QBs before finally landing on having Rayanna becoming the starter. She’s averaged 36 points a game since taking over, routinely finding Tall Guy and Fast Guy for chunks of yards. “Fast Guy” is Sam Pezzino who shores up the PH defense as well. Gordon Kus was a welcome addition to the team, and everyone else on the PH roster improved as the season went on. The Drunks, meanwhile, went 2-5 in their last 7 games, and have been incredibly inconsistent. Jill and Kenny’s team have struggled to keep the good times rolling, partially due to attendance issues and partially due to bad play and/or drops. They’re a fast team that, when they’re on, they’re hard to beat, especially when Cam Danner is playing. This should be a close one. PIT HARADE BY 3

#4 Sausage McMuffins (6-3) vs #5 Two Tuddies (4-5)

Points For: SMM 27.89 (6th), TT 24.11 (7th)

Points Against: SMM 21.11 (1st), TT 27.11 (4th)

TSL Rank: SMM 17th, TT 28th

Last 3: SMM 3-0, TT 1-2

Past Games:  20-16 SMM

Line: Sausage McMuffins (-7)

Last year, these two were the favorites to meet in the championship game. Now they’re meeting in a 4-5 matchup after a season of ups and downs. The McMuffins are still a very good team that’s hard to score against. They have the best division in the league by far, as Alex has some really good players in Eric Pochylski and MaKensey Pietz. The problem is on offense, as they struggle to score, despite some very good play from QB Ricky. If they get into a points race, they’ll be in trouble. The Two Tuddies struggled on the season, as the D6 faves could never get it together. They come into the playoffs 1-2, and the one win was a 5 point win over Back That Pass Up, a team that beat them earlier this season. Nick Stutzman is finding his players, but they’re dropping the ball a bit too much. While the Tuddies should have hope they can turn it around, it feels more and more unlikely that it’ll happen. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 6

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• Do we HAVE to play in the rain? Yes. Unless it becomes too out of hand or there’s lightning, you’ll be playing. 

 

 

 

• Who are you predicting to win each championship? Right now, It’s hard to go against the Legends, who have seemingly been toying with the rest of D1 all year and are ready to bump it up a notch. In D2, the Freeballers just feel like the only team without any big issues right now. D3 has felt like The Family’s to lose for a while. D4? How does one go against the Cunning Stunts after that season? D5 I feel like Come From Behind can keep up with Spinelli’s, and they have a better defense. Finally in D6 Pit Harade has looked pretty good and with Ray throwing, they can pull this off, GUCCI style. 

 

 

 

• That’s a lot of chalk. Pick some others that AREN’T so easy. Fine. Eyes Downtown, I believed in you early in the season and I’ll stick with you. The Untouchaballs have been so good for so long. Look out for the Wanderers in D3, they’re on fire right now. In D4? ILF and that defense has me thinking they can do it. I didn’t pick the top seeds in D5/D6 so I’m not doing it again. 

 

 

 

• What are your best long shots in each division? Sticky Bandits. They’re too good to be only 3-6. If everything clicks in the playoffs, look out. THREAD should be much better than the record they have, and they know how to win in the playoffs. Let’s Get Reccked is a STACKED team with winners. Puckett All-Stars are the 5th seed but they’ve done this time and time again. It sounds crazy, but Cobblestone is playing VERY well and could finally get Darryl that first title. Last but not least, Just Get Open could’ve been playing possum this entire season. If the whole team is there, don’t be surprised if they pull this off. 

 

 

 

• Which #1 seed is mostly likely to lose (rank them in order of most to least likely), and how many survive Playoff Saturday overall? Oh my. After some thought, this was much harder than I thought. I think it goes Freeballers (Practice Squad is always good in the playoffs), Balls Deep (BTPU only lost by 5 to them), The Family (716 can maybe score?), Spinelli’s Plumbing (NSS might dig into their defensive bag of tricks), Cunning Stunts (Two upsets in a row for TMA?) and Legends (They don’t play). Personally, while I see a lot of 2-3-4 seeds getting upset, I feel like all #1 seeds make it to Championship Saturday next weekend. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR PLAYOFF SATURDAY:

 

 

• Breakfast Club Championship: BDD 45, Steph’s Misty-rious Infection 37. Becca beats Steph, again. 

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 9:00 - Breakfast Club Championship

• 10:00 - Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins

• 11:00 - Wanderers vs Bullet Club

• 12:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Travis Henry’s Kids

• 1:00 - Creekers vs BAADies

• 2:00 - Untouchaballs vs THREAD

 

 

 

• As always, don’t be a jerk to the refs who are probably going to be getting rained on all day. Reffing is hard to begin with, it's even harder in the rain. 

 

 

 

• The TSL Banquet is FRIDAY DECEMBER 8TH. TELL YOUR TEAMS AND PREPARE. 

 

 

 

• Jeff Krol has informed me that there is a TSL Halloween Costume party at the Rose Garden on Friday, October 27th. Costumes are required. This isn’t the same as the Halloween Bowl, which I’m not sure is happening this year, at least I haven’t been told anyway. 

 

 

 

• Three teams with the best chance for an upset that I didn’t name earlier: Frodo Swaggins, Scared Hitless, Mighty Drunks

 

 

 

• The bar has informed me that they’ve loved the league this year and there hasn’t been any trouble. Way to be great, TSL. 

 

 

 

• Best team with 10-1 odds or more to win the championship: Passing While Intoxicated. 

 

 

 

• I know it’ll probably be miserable outside, but please remember to park properly, don’t block anyone in, and pick up all of your garbage. Don’t just leave it on the fields in the rain. 

 

 

 

• One last time: this is everything you and your team has worked for all season. You’ve played and prepared for this moment. Don’t squander it, don’t let your team down. Give it your all. But as always, have fun. 

 

-GF OUT