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Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Thursday, 30 April 2020 19:41
Published: Thursday, 30 April 2020 19:41
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 720


Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe,


This is not the article I wanted to write for this week. There’s nothing fun about what’s been happening around the world, as the COVID-19 Pandemic has disrupted so many things we hold dear. Birthdays, weddings, bar mitzvahs, quinceaneras, and everything in between have been put on hold, postponed, or relegated to weird drive by parades where you can kind of see your friends and family for a fleeting moment. It’s rough. Some of us are out of work and really need the distraction of social co-ed football, but alas, it’s not here yet. I myself have been furloughed, so there’s nothing to do but sit around my log cabin here in Des Moines, and wait it out. At the very least, for what it’s worth, you guys in Buffalo are much further along that we are here in Iowa. You’re close.

But this article was SUPPOSED to be about the first week of the Spring 2020 season. It was supposed to begin April 25th. I would’ve loved talking about the new stand outs in the league, the surprises, the ridiculousness that I would’ve heard multiple stories about at the bar. It was a PERFECT day for football. Sunny, 60 degrees. Considering we’ve started the last couple of Spring sessions in the snow, how perfect would that have been? I would’ve definitely talked about how Lenny smiled upon us and gave us a perfect day for Week 1. I still think he caused the weather last Saturday, even knowing we couldn’t play, just for a laugh. It’s the same reason it was 78 degrees and beautiful here in Iowa last Saturday, and all I could do was some work around the cabin.

Anyway, I wanted to write SOMETHING. Sure, part of it is because I have nothing to do all week anymore, and maybe I need to be locked in a room away from the little godfathers here that really should be in school, but I also feel like I owe you guys something to check into. It’s been a bit quiet on the site, and I guess we could’ve done some very blatantly biased bar brackets or something to engage the TSL universe, but I we all have a lot more important things to think about I guess. However, perhaps I can inspire a little hope! You know why?

The Topper Sports Spring Session is STILL a go for Mid to Late May. Yes, I know, it can still change. Topper wanted that to be pretty clear. But we’re getting CLOSE guys and gals! Soon, you will hopefully descend upon the Rose Garden with the biggest smiles and happiest of attitudes. The race for social co-ed football immortality will once again begin anew. We’ll have new teams! Old faces in new places! You can bring your dog again! Just you know, the doggo has to be on a leash that’s held by an adult at all times. There’s even going to be an exciting, slight change to MY articles as well!

I’m happy to announce that I won’t be randomly making up the lines for your games anymore. I challenged the good people on the TSL QB Rankings committee to use their math, spreadsheets, and free time to give me much more accurate lines for the games. That means no more complaining! I’m kidding. You’re going to complain still, Blasé. But it could be a fun change to see some ‘accurate-ish’ lines. I’m also going to make it a point to email more captains this season about their teams. I obviously can’t see the games live, so the more info your team gives me, the better my articles can be. Some of you already email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. but really you all should start. Get your team its publicity! Give your stars some shout outs! If you’re not screaming about how your girl should be the D5 MVP, you shouldn’t be a captain anyway!

I wanted to take just a quick second though, and give a special shout out to my good friend Rameer. If you didn’t know, he’s going through a lot right now. Honestly, a lot doesn’t cover it. It’s not my place to rehash what is going on, so if you’re uninformed, please go read The Rant. Rameer does so much for this league, and when we lost Lenny, he really stepped it up even more. Sometimes he doesn’t get the credit he truly deserves. And now, there’s a chance we may not even see him until the Fall session. The league won’t be the same without Rameer scowling on the sidelines because someone did something stupid or snarling at the refs to get these games started on time. We love you Rameer. Know that.

But Godfather, you said this part was going to be inspiring and happy! I know, I know. Obviously the idea of not having Rameer around is terrible. (Okay, maybe not to ALL of you.) But here’s the silver lining. Yet again, the TSL universe stepped up. If you didn’t know, Coach Jay and Emily are going to be helping with some of Rameer’s duties in his absence. They’ll be the go to people for any ref scenarios that may arise. It’s so awesome to see that every single time this league looks like it might take a hit, more of the amazing TSLers step right up to keep the league they love up and running smoothly. Well, as smoothly as anything Topper related can be.

Another awesome thing? We have a record setting amount of people in Breakfast Club! Old faces and new faces have combined to get us 8 full teams! (Well, 7 full teams, and one team with Dave Walter, so they’ll always be short in the first half). The Draft was supposed to be taking place Friday Night, but we are going to hold off once again until Topper gets stuff figured out. Eight teams for Breakfast Club is fantastic. Another good thing? Two more weeks of not playing football means the fields won’t be destroyed ASAP! Topper told me the week leading up to last Saturday had snow and rain. The fields would’ve been soft as we trampled on them. Here’s hoping the nicer weather sticks around to keep them in top shape.

We’re so much closer to our Weekly Family Reunions. We’re getting through this together. I hear about the weekly league zoom meetings too. We have each other, like we always have. Football has always been about friends and family. Winning is nice too, of course. But so many of us have found boyfriends, girlfriends, wives, husbands, lifelong best friends, and families just from this league. It’s the thing we’re most proud of. All of YOU are the greatest thing about this league. You’re putting in the work. You’re staying safe. You’re doing what needs to be done so that sooner rather than later we can kick off another awesome season of the Greatest Social Co-Ed Football league in WNY, and probably the world. Just hold strong. Football is coming. We got this.


Keep your heads up.


-The Godfather

Championship Saturday Thoughts, Picks & Predictions

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 25 October 2019 10:02
Published: Friday, 25 October 2019 10:02
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 2016


It’s pretty safe to say that was one of the wildest Saturdays in a long time.


I tried to warn you. There is no way that the calamity that is the Race for Social Co-ed Football Immortality ever goes “chalk”. We have blowouts, upsets, comebacks, buzzer beaters, and so much more, that our first round of the playoffs is ONLY rivaled by the first two days of the NCAA March Madness tournament. There are cinderellas and bracket busters all over the place, across all of our divisions. It is, in a word: Exciting.


A typical Saturday for me isn’t crazy exciting. I do a few things around the cabin, maybe run a few errands. Really fun stuff, I know. But this past weekend, I found myself on my phone, getting information on the games in the playoffs and really, really wishing I was there in person.


It started early. 9:41 to be exact. (Remember, Des Moines is an hour behind those of you in Buffalo). It was one simple email to start.


“Puckett is beating up on No Punt Intended pretty good. Looks like the upset of the day happened early.”


Naturally, this piqued my interest and I asked for more information. And, I got it. While I meant more about the Puckett/NPI game, another email came in a little later:


“Gryffindor just beat Marketing Mayors!!”


I fist pumped, not going to lie. Sorry Mayors, it isn’t you, it’s the story. And then another email 3 minutes later.


“Bullet Club came back from down like 20 points in the second half to beat SITE”


All of that action, and it was only the first group of games. And they were emails from three different people. The TSL was watching, and magic was happening. I was riveted, getting information about these games about this football league that I love that are states away. Before I knew it, the following emails piled up:


“I think you cursed Quinn lol. Sticky is pounding them.”


“Dilf’s beat A&A”

“Tots defended against Fries much better this time, but still lost”


“End Game looked really good against Jabronies, won easily”


So much fun happened on the fields, and apparently some fireworks happened off them as well. This is what we play for. THIS IS WHAT SOCIAL CO-ED FOOTBALL IS ALL ABOUT!


We’re down to our final 24 (Wait no, 25 still) teams. Who among them will take home the championship? Who will walk into the Topper Sports League Banquet on January 3rd (mark your calendars now) as the best of the best? Let’s try to figure it out. . .



Last Week’s Score:

(5) Gryffindor 36, (4) Marketing Mayors 28


Odds to Win The Championship:

Eyes Downtown 2-1

Public Enemy 3-1

Tight Ends In Motion 8-1

Gryffindor 15-1


Gryffindor got a win, and it was over the defending champions! There will be a new champion in the TSL’s highest division.


(1) Eyes Downtown vs (5) Gryffindor (+8)

Past Games: Eyes Downtown 48, Gryffindor 45

Eyes Downtown 35, Gryffindor 0

Okay, it was fun while it lasted. Gryffindor got their much needed win against a banged up Mayors squad, but now they’re going up against the main event here. Eyes Downtown has been the cream of the crop in the division this entire season, and while that means NOTHING in the playoffs, ED just feels destined to play in the D1 final this season. Expect to see more of the 48-45 game than the 35-0 game here, but I’ll take the division’s top ranked offense over it’s lowest ranked defense anytime. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 6


(2) Public Enemy vs (3) Tight Ends In Motion (+3)

Past Games: Public Enemy 31, Tight Ends In Motion 22


Somehow, in a division of 5 teams, these two have only played once so far. That can’t be right. It doesn’t matter. Tight Ends boasts the division’s top ranked defense AND its second ranked offense. (PE IS 2nd and 3rd) They have the greatest point differential by far. So why aren’t they favored? Shouldn’t they win this game? Well, a deeper look at things shows us that TEIM went 0-2 against PE and Eyes Downtown, while they beat up on A&A, Gryffindor (3 times), and played the Mayors 3 times as well. The stats are a bit skewed here. That isn’t to say TEIM isn’t a great team. They are, and they keep getting better, but for now, they’re still relegated to “little brother” status with the big boys. This wasn’t Public Enemy’s finest season, as they’ve struggled through some attendance issues, and I think by the final whistle on Saturday, people are really going to remember just who they are. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 10


So, who wins? Eyes Downtown vs Public Enemy is what I’m going with. These two teams hate each other, and it’s going to be awesome to watch them battle for the D1 title. By the time the smoke clears, I really think we’ll see Public Enemy finish the job that they couldn’t last season.



Last Week’s Scores:

(5) Bullet Club 45, (4) Slytherin That End Zone 42

(6) Dilfs 27, (3) A&A 22

(1) HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO 24, (7) Energy Buff 14


Odds To Win The Championship:


Peachy Platoon 5-1

Bullet Club 15-1

Dilfs 16-1


Things were a bit crazy in D2, that’s for sure. Team Topper handled Energy Buff, but still only won by 10 points. Bullet Club “upset” SITE, but I hardly ever consider a 4-5 matchup an upset. The story here was that SITE went up big early, before blowing leads of 24 and 22 points in the second half. Newman wasn’t supposed to show up, and then he did. Team Captain Gary took it upon himself to email me his side of what happened in this game, and he wasn’t happy with the Offensive Pass Interference call that took 6 points off the board for SITE, and gave BC the ball back for their final, game winning drive. He also told me to give shout outs to his lesser known players that are pretty great. Chris Shriver was just nominated for an award (Go read The Rant) at this year’s banquet, so he’s getting noticed. I’ve mentioned Dawson being important before, but a shout out to the “strong, big bodied, quick bald guy with the fantastic beard” named Lex too. There aren’t enough people named Lex in the world, so he’s easily the third most important Lex of all time, falling just behind Luthor and Luger. The Dilfs and A&A played a low scoring, weird game that was apparently 9-7 at halftime. The Dilfs scored right after halftime and before you knew it, A&A just couldn’t catch up to them. This all leads us to:


(1) Peachy Platoon vs (6) Dilfs  (+9)

Past games: Peachy Platoon 31, Dilfs 29


These two teams played a heck of a game during the regular season. Now I’m hearing that the Dilfs are trotting out some “people who have been on the roster but haven’t actually played any games” heroes (hi Josh!) to help them in the playoffs. It’s legal, so there’s nothing wrong with it. The Platoon may still be reeling a little bit as Dean was seen on the sidelines last week still in some sort of hand contraption, so he’s still hurt. Travis is entering “Good Travis” and “Bad Travis” zones with his QB play, so a lot of this game will depend on if Dubey shows up, and if he doesn’t, which Travis plays. I still think Peachy is going to be just too fast for the Dilfs in this one, and they’ll walk away with this one. PEACHY PLATOON BY 7


(2) HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO vs (6) Bullet Club (+12)

Past games: Team Topper 28, Bullet Club 6


The last game these two teams played tells us nothing, as it was the “Joe K had to play QB” game. If there’s anything here is that HOFBRAUHAUS only scored 28 last time they played, so if Good Ricky comes to play, maybe there’s a puncher’s chance for BC. Energy Buff also held Team Topper to a low 24 points last week, so maybe Topper’s 62 year old shoulder is finally giving out on him? Good Ricky or not, I can’t expect BC to keep pace with HB on the scoreboard here. HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO BY 10


So who wins? Team Topper has the division’s best offense, and second best defense. Peachy is the opposite, being best defense and second best offense. They have the same point differential. This game is going to be VERY, VERY close, but at the end of the day, look for Team Topper to pull this one out.



Last Week’s Scores:

(8) Puckett All-Stars 36, (1) No Punt Intended 8

(2) Frodo Swaggins 44, (7) Vaspian 18

(6) Sticky Bandits 33, (3) All We Do Is Quinn 7

(5) End Game 39, (4) Jabronies 12


Odds To Win The Championship:

Frodo Swaggins 4-1

End Game 6-1

Sticky Bandits 6-1

Puckett All-Stars 8-1


Yes everyone, it’s THAT close. Puckett walked right up to the number one seed for the second straight season and smacked them in the mouth. It wasn’t even a close game, Puckett won this handily. Yes, NPI didn’t have Kyle at QB or Elena at all. But that doesn’t excuse losing by 28 points. I talked a bit with Ashley, the PAS captain. I wanted to know who the big stand outs are on this largely unknown team. She proceeded to tell me that there wasn’t one person to really name. That everyone knows what to do, and does their job. There’s a reason this team has won FOUR championships. (Don’t worry, I forgot they changed their name a few times too). She did say TJ the QB is CLUTCH in the playoffs though, and I mean, she’s not wrong. Frodo came out and beat up on Vaspian, making them the only “top” seed to move on in D3. That gives them the best odds to walk off the fields as D3 champs, but NOT SO FAST. Sticky Bandits and End Game are still alive in these playoffs. End Game manhandled the Jabronies in round 1, and they’ve been arguably the hottest team in the entire league in the second half of the season. Sticky is a much different animal. They’ve been messing around a bit at QB this season, largely due to the hand (finger?) injury to Alex. While most of the league assumed they’d go back to Mike Thomas for the playoffs (he was clearly the better QB between himself and Rags this season), it was never actually a given according to Jeff Krol (yeah, I emailed a few people this week, deal with it) who said it was never a guarantee (He would go on to say that Rags was an extremely effective QB before his injuries and that he will be again soon) that Mike Thomas starting in the playoffs as Sticky may have been “willing to take a beating to some degree” in the regular season as a way to figure out the optimal lineup for the games that matter. Well, we’re here.


(2) Frodo Swaggins vs (8) Puckett All-Stars (+6)

Past Games: Frodo 30, Puckett 20


Newsflash: This game is going to be a lot closer than you think it will be. Frodo has the, well, Swagger for this one. They know they got lucky with Quinn and NPI getting booted from the playoffs. Say what you will about Scotty’s off the field game, but his on the field game is very strong. He may not be as consistent as he’d like, but he’s one of the league’s best new QBs, regardless of anything else. Personally, I’m rooting for Puckett. It’s such a good story, and I won’t lie, the was Ashley spoke of her team to me this week won me over. They’re close knit, and that’s what we’re all about here in the TSL. This one hurts, but FRODO SWAGGINS BY 3


(5) End Game vs (6) Sticky Bandits (EVEN)

Past Game: Sticky Bandits 25, End Game 8


So, Sticky won the only meeting between these teams. It was much earlier in the season however, and it was before things on End Game seemed to really click. (Or they’re all using steroids and they finally kicked in midway through the season) Mr. Krol really raved about his safety combo of Dave Baker and Brian (I want to say Stevens?) and how hard they make things on opposing offenses. I’m hoping End Game can figure that out quickly or it may be a long day for them. The teams have similar offenses from the regular season (although Thomas at QB improves those numbers) but while Sticky’s defense has been good, End Game’s was still 2nd in the league and they proceeded to shut down the Jabronies last week. This is as even as a game can get, and the one I’d want to watch for sure. STICKY BANDITS BY 1


So who wins? The fans. Honestly when I make these predictions I really hope to go 1-1, but theres a 50% chance I went 0-2. This division was the absolute best top to bottom all year, and they’re going to go out with a bang. I will be 0% surprised at who wins this championship. All are deserving. But I have to pick one, and I truly believe that we’ll be partying down Main Street in Sticky Nation when all is said and done.



Last Week’s Scores:

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers 29, Full Throttle 6

Buffalo Solar Solutions 38, Mountain Dew Me 27


Odds To Win The Championship:

Matty’s Angels 2-1

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers 4-1

Cunning Stunts 5-1

Buffalo Solar Solutions 10-1


Not too much to see here this week. Uncle Rico’s has continued their run of dominance with a relatively easy win over Full Throttle. Buffalo Solar, however, had to earn their win against Mountain Dew Me. After talking to Dan, the captain of BSS, he let me know that this game was very close, and that MDM was winning this game halfway through the second half. A lot of that was their inability to stop the deep ball, and then they had issues with drops as well. After some adjustments, they clearly found the end zone a bit more.


(1) Matty’s Angels vs (4) Buffalo Solar Solutions (+8)

Past Games: Matty’s Angels 54, BSS 12

BSS 46, Angels 43


Let’s see here. BSS beats the Angels. The Angels get mad at beat the crap out of BSS for revenge. That was with Bobby at QB I believe, but either way, I expect the game to be closer than a blowout. We all know the Angels are great, etc, etc. They obliterated a whole bunch of teams this year. But BSS DID beat them in an even game. One of those reasons? Brett Cole. He’s “generally good for one or two picks a game and wins contested catches on offense regularly”. Another reason? Mallory, the unsung hero on defense. She just sells out on every play. The Angels are going to be pretty fresh and really ready to regain their title. Matty won’t be dying of sunstroke this time around, and he doesn’t have 15 games to play. As a result, Its just too hard to bet against them. MATTYS ANGELS BY 7


(2) Cunning Stunts vs (3) Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (EVEN)

Past Games: Cunning Stunts 52, URTT 27

URTT 62, Stunts 44

URTT 54, Stunts 53


Well, the first time these two met, the Stunts smacked around Rico’s pretty easily. And then the entire season changed for the Time Travelers. Since then, they’re on a incredible 6-0 run, with again, two wins over the Stunts. This game is only even because of respect for the Stunts, but they’re only 2-3 in their last 5, and both wins were by a point a piece. I can’t exactly say that they’re lighting the league on fire. I’m going with the hot hand here. UNCLE RICOS TIME TRAVELERS BY 2


So who wins? I don’t think we’ll be getting a gender battle rematch, even if that’s what I know the Angels are hoping for. With this year’s D4, we essentially saw every matchup multiple times. However, we didn’t get to see the Angels take on the “new” Rico’s. This is a game that you should bet the over, even when it’s set at 85 points. I think the Angels stand tall in the end, however.



Last Week’s Scores:

(1) Over Compensators 38, (8) Pink Pteratacos 26

(7) Cobblestone 26, (2) En Fuego 23*

(3) Hung Buffalo 47, (6) Come From Behind 12

(4) Practice Squad 40, (5) Hope N Ruin 30


Odds To Win The Championship:

Over Compensators 2-1

En Fuego 4-1

Hung Buffalo 8-1

Practice Squad 9-1

Cobblestone 50-1


Yes, there’s 5 teams remaining. And no, I don’t get to give you game predictions because we have no idea who’s playing who yet. Why? Well, as anyone in the league with a pulse will tell you, we had some, um, issues in the original En Fuego/Cobblestone game. Cobblestone beat En Fuego on their own. Apparently, there was a few roster checks that got thrown around and “yada yada yada”, now we have a rematch. I’m not entirely sure it’s fair to Cobblestone and their awesome victory to be taken away, but I’m not the powers that be, and quite frankly, it doesn’t matter what I (or any of us) think in this scenario. The bottom line is that for Cobblestone or En Fuego to win the title, they need to win three straight games. The OC cruised to a win against the Pteratacos, nothing too special there. Hung Buffalo blew out Come From Behind by 35 points. Practice Squad defeated Hope N Ruin in a closer game than the others, obviously.


So, who wins? The truth is that this was always meant to be The OC vs En Fuego. And then En Fuego lost, and in a last ditch effort to save their season, they got an extra life. Now the division has learned that they can be beaten with some man coverage and a little bit of magic. I’d love to see Hung Buffalo or Practice Squad take them out before they even get to the finals, just for the story. But this season has been mainly about how dominant the OC was. They’re my pick to win this one.



Last Week’s Games:

(1) Zack Attack 26, (8) Wild Oak Beard Co 20

(2) TMA 22, (7) The Replacements 21

(3) pAssless Chaps 23, (6) Tater Tots 20

(5) The Bi-Polar Express 44, (4) Graves Bros 38


Odds To Win The Championship:

TMA 3-1

pAssless Chaps 4-1

Zack Attack 4-1

The Bi-Polar Express 12-1


Zack Attack survived Wild Oak Beard Co, pulling out the victory late in the game and avoiding being another 1 seed to lose on Day 1. The pAssless Chaps got a much better game out of the Tots than they did the last time these two met. The Tots were driving at the end of the game to pull out the win, but the Chaps got a nice pick in the end zone to end the game. Bi-Polar Express got by Graves Bros on the strength of Tommy Hughes’ arm. Just kidding. It’s their great group of girls who truly know how to ball out, while I had heard that Katie Swanson, the Graves Bros’ best girl (and maybe player) missed out. Never a good recipe for beating a gender team. TMA squeaked a win out against The Replacements, but they were going to have to forfeit anyway.


(1) Zack Attack vs (5) The Bi-Polar Express (+8)

Past Games: Zack Attack 27, Bi-Polar Express 24


The last time these two met, it started BPX’s downwards spiral in the second half of the season. Zack Attack won, but not by much. These two teams are pretty close in offense (ZA 1st, BPX 3rd) and defense (4th and 5th). Zack Attack didn’t look wonderful against WOBCO, and they may be the weakest 1 seed (relative to their division) we have this session. However, BPX is at a disadvantage with having to play at the same time as TMA (the whole losing 4 players things). I would’ve picked BPX at full strength, but the roster losses may be too much. ZACK ATTACK BY 7


(2) TMA vs (3) pAssless Chaps (EVEN)

Past Games: pAssless Chaps 26, TMA 18


Let’s get ready to fire up this rivalry. These two teams don’t like each other very much, and there’s nothing quite like adding in the playoffs to throw some more gas on that fire. The Chaps beat TMA earlier in the season, and there’s good reason to believe that this battle is between the top two teams in the division. As long as Coach Jay can keep on truckin’ with the offense, the Chaps can win the whole thing. But, ‘can’ and ‘will’ are two different things. TMA has just FELT like the team of destiny in D6 all season. They have the best defense in perhaps the entire league, and when they’re at full strength its hard to stop their offense as well. If they can just stay out of their own heads and just play their game, they’ll be battling for the title. TMA BY 3


So who wins? I think the “real” championship game is the 2v3 matchup between TMA and the Chaps. I like Zack Attack, and they’re welcome for the extra motivation I’m tossing their way right now, but I just feel like the entire season has been about TMA finally getting on the same page and getting the pieces they needed to win it all. The Rose Garden will be rocking, and hopefully the moonshine will be flowing when TMA takes this home.




1. How’s that weather looking? Too many of our Fall Sessions have ended with Championship Saturday having the worst kind of weather. Downpours, snow, wind…you name it, it’s happened. Yet, through the magic of Lenny Alba, you guys are looking at 56 degress and mostly cloudy. It’s not the warmest it could be, but it’ll be beautiful.


2. What’s the Game of the Day? Well, there’s going to be a few slobberknockers for sure, but I think the matchup between End Game and Sticky Bandits is going to be awesome in D3.


3. Could En Fuego or Cobblestone really win three games in a row? I don’t believe that Cobblestone would be able to win three in a row. They won’t have any breaks either. En Fuego is a great team themselves, but they may find themselves having trouble with Hung Buffalo in the second game when they’re looking past them at the OC.


4. What’s going to be the biggest upset to look out for? Puckett can upset Frodo. They’re just masters of slaying top seeds. Look out for Buffalo Solar to shock the Angels too.


5. Do you think it’s okay to ask for a Roster Check? Of course it is, it’s in the rules. Personally, I grew up playing sports saying I’d play the best team someone else could put out there. But there’s NO REASON to give someone grief if they ask for a check. When TMA asked at the beginning of their game, a few sideline watchers snickered and discouraged it, but they were well within their rights. That’s the proper way to do it by the way, ask DURING the game, or at least just before or after it. Everyone giving crap to En Fuego shouldn’t be, but I understand why asking a few hours later was looked down upon.




1.  Here are your “Games of the Day” best viewing schedule:

               a. 10:00 – Public Enemy vs Tight Ends In Motion – Field 2

               b. 11:00 – Watch the D1 final on Field 1

               c. 12:00 – End Game vs Sticky Bandits – Field 2

               d. 1:00 – D3 Final on Field 1

               e. 2:00 – D4 Final on Field 1

               f.  3:00 – D6 Final on Field 3

               g. 4:00ish – Costume Bowl – Field ?


2. That’s right, don’t forget that the Costume Bowl is happening sometime around 4-4:30! Come watch the fun, or BRING YOUR OWN COSTUME AND JOIN IN!!! It’s a hoot, and it’ll be a great way to say goodbye to the season.




4. So many people who haven’t played in Breakfast Club have asked about it this session. Let’s hope they keep that enthusiasm when Topper starts looking for sign ups in March.


5. I’d be willing to bet lots of money that there will be 1, maybe 2, TSL Wine Tours in the offseason.


6. Alternate Universe Championship Picks: Eyes Downtown, Peachy Platoon, Frodo Swaggins, Uncle Rico’s, Practice Squad, The Bi-Polar Express.


7. When you’re walking around the fields this week, give Topper a hug, and then IMMEDIATELY ASK HIM FOR PICTURES OF HIS ADORABLE NEW PUPPY JACKSON! He’s only 4 months old, and he’s cute as a button! Congrats to Uncle Topper, and welcome to the TSL Jackson!


8. Would you be interested in a TSL poker tournament this offseason? If so, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..


9. I’ll be sending an end of the season survey out to team captains in the next week or two. I’d really like a lot of the league’s feedback on a few things. Be sure to fill it out!


10. I’ve been writing this article for way too many years now, but I still love it. I had such a great time talking to new people about their teams this week, and I really hope all of you enjoy reading this as much as I’ve love writing it.


Good luck to everyone this weekend. Be safe. Wear sunscreen. Check Rosters. Enjoy.



Week 8 thoughts, picks, advice and stuff

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 11 October 2019 12:38
Published: Friday, 11 October 2019 12:38
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 2099


Well, we’re here.


A long, sometimes grueling, season has reached its final week. It’s always bittersweet when the TSL gets to this point. While the excitement of the playoffs and discovering just who will reach Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is ramping up, it also means we’re ever so close to the end of our season, which means we won’t gather again as a whole for a few months.


From my view in Des Moines, it seems like everything has been good. There’s been some great football out there, complete with its share of surprises, upsets, and a dash of drama. Just like everyone else, I’m REALLY ready for the playoffs. Week 8 will be a great time at the Rose Garden, as any TSL week usually is, but right now it just feels like the league is mostly on autopilot as teams are gearing up for the real battles next week. This week does have its share of story lines throughout each division, so let’s take a look and dive into the fun stuff:



Last Week’s Games:

Tight Ends In Motion 42, A&A 17 (Crossover Game)

Public Enemy 45, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO 22 (Crossover Game)


What’s at stake:  Can Gryffindor get that victory?


That’s all we had last week. Two crossover games where the D1 teams smacked the snot out of the D2 teams. Now, it’s my understanding that A&A was missing like, everyone. But none of that really matters. The QB Power Rankings article beat me to it, but D1 went 5-0 in the crossover games this season, with a combined score of 212-92. It’s more than safe to say that this experiment went better last season. So where does that leave you, D1? I know how you’re feeling. You’ve been in this state of (and here’s that word again) autopilot for a few weeks now. You can only play the same 4 teams so many times. But the biggest story line for this division is at 10:00 as Joey Batts takes the field with Gryffindor one last time this season to get that elusive first victory against Tight Ends in Motion. What else is there to say? Bobby owns the rest of you this season. It’s Eyes Downtown’s title for the taking, and the rest of you aren’t inspiring hope that you can take him down. The defending champion Marketing Mayors haven’t looked as much for a good chunk of the season, but man they still look better than whatever Public Enemy has become. For PE, they’ve lost a few more games this season than they have in the last few seasons combined. But the real game it seems that they’re losing is the battle with Father Time. I don’t have bad things to say about Tight Ends. They’re on their 17th QB in 3 seasons, but it seems that maybe, just mayyyybe they’ve found one for good. Either way, it still seems like the games this week don’t really matter that much. It feels like they haven’t in a few weeks. It’ll be next week when we see who is who, and (hopefully) some teams remind us just who they are. For now though, I’ll just congratulate Bobby, Beth, Jeff, Joey, and the rest of the ED crew on their championship.


This Week’s Games:


Eyes Downtown vs Public Enemy (+7) – There’s not much to say about this rivalry game that hasn’t been said a few times this season. ED is rolling, but if anything is going to get PE going hard it’s going to be this game. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 4


Marketing Mayors vs Tight Ends In Motion (+8) – The Mayors need a nice outing before the playoffs start next week as well, and if they’re sleeping on TEIM, they could blow this game. TEIM is the hungriest team in D1, and they want to win and prove they belong. They know they do, but its time to show the rest of the TSL they do too. They’re close to “popping”. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 1



Last Week’s Games:

Peachy Platoon 39, Schilling ‘Em Softly 22



What’s at Stake: The First Round bye, and potential tie breaker chaos.


A quiet week in D2 came through, and while it should’ve given us this amazing battle for first place, it didn’t even provide that as Team Topper rolled A&A like they were We Back. Peachy Platoon rolled through their game as well. This week, however, brings us a bit of fun. There’s currently a 3 way dance of doom atop the standings in D2 as Team Topper, A&A, and Peachy all have 18 points, and double the wins of anyone else in the division. The 4-7 seeds have zero chance of catching them, so those will be your top seeds for the playoffs. But who gets the bye? Well, luckily, we get HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO vs A&A part two this week, and the winner will stake their claim to getting the first round free pass, thanks to We Back never being back at all. However, Peachy Platoon has a doubleheader against SITE this time around, and due to a schedule quirk that was made long ago, they will, indeed, play more games than A&A and Team Topper. Of course at the time, there wasn’t a bye week to be won, so it shouldn’t have mattered as much as it looks like its going to. There’s an outside chance that Dilfs, SITE, Bullet Club, and Energy Buff all end up with a 3-6 record, and it’ll be a lot of tiebreaking fun to figure that mess out. How that happens: SITE loses twice to Peachy Platoon (plausible), Dilfs lose to Team Topper (Probable), Dilfs lose to Bullet Club (They won on the last play of the game a few weeks ago), and Energy Buff beats the We Back replacement squad (potentially!). That’d be a fun mess.


This Week’s Games:

HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO VS Dilfs (+10) – The Dilf’s will give Team Topper a run for their money for a little bit, and could catch them looking ahead to the more important game with A&A. But in the end, Topper pulls it out, because they realize that this win is huge if they end up losing to A&A later on. HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO BY 13


HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO VS A&A (+3) – I’ll start by saying that I personally think Team Topper is the best team in D2 overall. But A&A has Matty, and like him or not, he wins big football games. As fun as it would be to dream there, the HB Defense is just lights out, and they’re going to prove it this week. HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO BY 10


Peachy Platoon vs Slytherin That End Zone (+9) - *DOUBLEHEADER* - The Platoon can just win two games against their heated rivals (Remember these two killed each other in D3 last session) and walk away with a bye week, which is highly needed since Dean has his thumb injury now. (WAY TO GO NIXON) I doubt he heals even with the extra time, but he’s a gamer and may just try to play in the playoffs anyway. There’s NOTHING SITE would love more than playing spoiler against Peachy this week. Barring any more injuries or missing persons, I don’t think it happens. PEACHY BY 10, PEACHY BY 3


Dilfs vs Bullet Club (+7) – These two teams are close in record, and as mentioned a BC win would give them identical 3-6 records. But, it doesn’t FEEL like they’re that close. Dilfs have felt all season like they should have a better W/L but based on some inconsistencies, they just do not. This game was a classic last time they met, but that was Chris Nelson’s only BC appearance as well. Look for the Dilfs to smack Bullet Club this time around. DILFS BY 13


Energy Buff vs Schilling ‘Em Softly (EVEN) – There’s so much I don’t know about this game. Who’s playing for SES? Who’s actually showing up for EB? If both teams trotted out their full rosters, I’d actually take SES here, but with so much uncertainty, I’ll go with ENERGY BUFF BY 1.



Last Week’s Games:

Vaspian 28, Ultimate Warriors 22

Jabronies 34, Vaspian 18

End Game 25, Jabronies 7

Frodo Swaggins 38, All We Do Is Losee 36

No Punt Intended 42, Ultimate Warriors 35


What’s at Stake:  Not 1st place, since NPI wrapped that up. Playoff spots are definitely on the line though.


What a fun week in the TSL’s best division! There really isn’t that much decided as we enter our final week. No Punt Intended (thanks in part to the fall of AWDIQ, who were undefeated until Kasey became enamored with Scotty Dro) walks home with #1 overall seed in the playoffs. The Ultimate Warriors finished 1-7-1 and are eliminated from postseason competition. After that? Anything can happen. Frodo Swaggins could beat Sticky this week and knock Quinn down another peg. A Frodo loss bumps Jabronies up to 3rd and they don’t even have a game. While End Game and Sticky are in the playoffs, there’s no guarantee for Vaspian (3-5), 3rd and Schlong (3-4), and Puckett All-Stars (2-5). Two of these teams will make the playoffs, and the other will not. The best part? THEY ALL PLAY EACH OTHER. Vaspian will play Puckett All-Stars at 11:00, and 3AS will take on Puckett at 2:00. 3AS also gets to play End Game, for what it’s worth. Puckett could beat Vaspian and they’d most likely be in the playoffs (Don’t quote me on that, Topper’s super secret tiebreaking computer formula could break some hearts here). Vaspian has the tiebreaker (right now) with 3AS, so it seems that Vaspian could lose to Puckett but still get in as the 8th seed if 3AS loses both of their games. Vaspian could beat Puckett, but then Puckett could beat 3AS after 3AS loses to EG and CHAOS WILL REIGN SUPREME. The point is, all of these games REALLY matter, and there’s no better way to end the season in this division.


This Week’s Games:

Puckett All-Stars vs Vaspian (EVEN) – These two teams are as even as you can possibly get. They have similar records (3-5 and 2-5), they both allow 32 points per game. The only difference is that Puckett scores more points per game slightly at 25 to Vaspian’s 24. Vaspian may be becoming one of the better up and coming teams in the TSL, but Puckett is staying the secret nobody talks about. Mostly because they keep having awful seasons and then ramp it up in the last few weeks and the playoffs. This game should mean the world to both teams, but when its all said and done: PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 2


End Game vs 3rd and Schlong (EVEN) – Two of the TSL’s hottest teams square off in what would be a fantastic playoff game, much less a regular season affair. This game could clinch a playoff spot for 3AS who’ve really found their groove after that sad start. End Game just keeps chugging along and getting better every single week. A win against Frodo and then the Jabronies have got this train running hot. This game will be good, but 3AS needs it more. 3RD AND SCHLONG BY 1


3rd And Schlong vs Puckett All-Stars (+7) – This game could literally be a playoff game a week early! Of course, if 3AS beats End Game, and PAS beats Vaspian, this game could also mean nothing whatsoever. I, of course, would LOVE the play-in game to be a reality here. And if it is? 3RD AND SCHLONG BY 7


Frodo Swaggins vs Sticky Bandits (+7) – This is a very good matchup, but I have no idea who’s throwing for Sticky anymore. I don’t think they do either at this point. Just put in Mike Thomas for good, damnit. Frodo is cruising though, and they need this win to finish 2nd overall. You just KNOW they’d want to jump Qwinn after last week. The Bandits are looking to finish above .500. The problem is that Frodo scores a little more and allows a little less. They’re very evenly matched, except where it matters most: Quarterback. Give me Scotty. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 7



Last Week’s Games:

Cunning Stunts 43, Buffalo Solar Solutions 42

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers 49, Full Throttle 32

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers 62, Cunning Stunts 44

Matty’s Angels 54, Buffalo Solar Solutions 12

Matty’s Angels 53, Mountain Dew Me 12


What’s At Stake:  Second place and a bye!


Well, this got interesting. It appears that the Cunning Stunts are only playing two games this week, not three. The reason that’s notable is because they’re going to not play their last game of the year. As a result, that leaves the potential for Buffalo Solar Solutions or newly founded offense of Uncle Rico’s (who just trashed the Stunts last week) to jump ahead of them in the standings and take the bye. This is far from what was expected just two weeks ago, and now D4 is a LOT more fun that it was before. URTT is getting hot at the right time, as they got their all around threat in Chris Nelson back from Bullet Club in what will be called a “Roster Snafu” for now. If Buffalo Solar beats URTT, they’ll pass the Stunts (assuming the Stunts lose twice) on points alone (5 wins to 4). Matty’s is Matty’s. They got Bobby McConnell to play for them because that’s really cool of them. Mountain Dew Me and Full Throttle are just counting down the minutes until they get placed in a more accurate division in the Spring.


This Week’s Games:


Matty’s Angels vs Cunning Stunts (+10) – Ho hum. Matty’s vs Stunts. Not much left to talk about here. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 10


Buffalo Solar Solutions vs Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (EVEN) – I have no idea what to make of both of these teams at this point. Both have been pretty good as of late, and BSS didn’t have their QB last week. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 2


Mountain Dew Me vs Full Throttle (+6) – These two have done their best to hold their own in this division, and while their defenses actually have performed better than BSS or URTT, its their offenses that need to catch up to everyone else. FULL THROTTLE BY 1


Cunning Stunts vs Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (EVEN) – This game has to be considered even after the thrashing Rico’s dropped on the Stunts just a week ago. The Stunts will be doing everything in their power to get a bit of revenge here. This game could 100% be for the second bye in the division, impossible to think about as recently as 2 weeks ago. CUNNING STUNTS BY 6



Last Week’s Games:

En Fuego 21, Cobblestone 0 (Two forfeits)

Hung Buffalo 54, Hope N Ruin 26

Come From Behind 52, Practice Squad 30


What’s At Stake: The only chance at a TSL team going undefeated.


Hung Buffalo smacked around Hope N Ruin, Come From Behind defeated a Practice Squad that wasn’t 100%, and En Fuego got two forfeit wins when all of Cobblestone ditched Darryl Carr QB Superstar and left him hanging. I don’t know if it was on purpose, or if someone just forgot to tell Darryl, but that’s crazy if it’s a purposeful ditching. It was a slow week for D5, to say the least.


This Week’s Games:


Over Compensators vs En Fuego (+7) - Not too long ago, the Over Compensators and En Fuego made a bet and talked a lot of smack. And then Blasé LaDuca went out and promptly played the worst game he may have ever played. Now? The OC is trying to be the only undefeated team in the TSL this session, and standing in the way is En Fuego, who knew they’d get another shot at the OC, they just didn’t know when. How sweet would it be if En Fuego could not only get revenge, but give The OC their first loss AND take first place for the season from them? You KNOW En Fuego is going to be ready for this one. EN FUEGO BY 1


Practice Squad vs Hung Buffalo (+6) – These two teams may be closer than I’ve let on in the past. While its certainly FELT like PS has been the better team, the truth is that only one game separates these two teams. On top of that, They score about the same, but HB actually allows less points. This game should be close the whole time. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 1


Hope N Ruin vs Come From Behind (+7) – Same record, same amount of points allowed, but HNR scores a bit more. There are rumors of a B return to throw for CFB again, and that should help on that end. This game doesn’t mean too much except for positioning, but its always good to go into the playoffs with a win. HOPE N RUIN BY 6


Cobblestone vs Pink Pteratacos (+3) - *DOUBLEHEADER* - Not entirely sure what to think of these teams. The Pteratacos have been better, but they still have a ways to go. I still think they have a FANTASTIC group of females, and its more the males/QB that are their problem. I don’t know what happened to Cobblestone this week, but they could pull themselves into a higher standings position with a couple of wins here. COBBLESTONE BY 3. BOTH TIMES.



Last Week’s Games:

Zack Attack 30, pAssless Chaps 0

TMA 50, The Bi-Polar Express 8

pAssless Chaps 24, Wild Oak Beard Co. 18

The Replacements 36, Wild Oak Beard Co. 33

Shattered Dreams 30, Blitzkrieg 12

pAssless Chaps 29, Tater Tots 12

Tater Tots 40, Shattered Dreams 20


What’s At Stake: A playoff spot, and a potential three way tie for first place.


The pAssless Chaps played the rare tripleheader this week, and it wasn’t the best results. Yes, they went 2-1, but WOBCO and the Tots are teams that they should’ve beaten by more. Losing to Zack Attack isn’t a bad thing, and with a TMA win and a Chaps win this week, they’ll all be 7-2 and fun formulas have to figure out who finishes where. Speaking of WOBCO, they went 0-2 but played two very tight games that could’ve gone either way. Honestly, they’re one of the better new teams in the TSL, and I’m really looking forward to how good they can become. Shattered Dreams got their first win to keep their playoff hopes alive, albeit barely, while simultaneously knocking Blitzkrieg out of them. SD would need wins against the former best friends in Graves Bros and The Replacements to have a shot, and they’d need the Tots to beat The Replacements as well. A tall order, ironically, with Gronk coming to town. TMA keeps chugging along, while the Bi-Polar Express lost their third in a row after starting out hot at 4-0-1.


This Week’s Games:


Graves Bros vs Shattered Dreams (+13) – While Shattered Dreams is fighting for their playoff lives, They have to take on a team that has just been superior on offense (30ppg – 18) and on defense as well (18 points allowed vs 36). This game is looking like a 33-18 win for Graves Bros, at minimum. GRAVES BROS BY 15


The Replacements vs Shattered Dreams (+10) – These two teams are a little more evenly matched than the first game, The Replacements may want to step on the gas against the team that would’ve just played the hour before this one to clinch their spot. THE REPLACEMENTS BY 7


pAssless Chaps vs The Bi-Polar Express (EVEN) – These two teams are very close, and based on the schedule it seems like BPX will have most of its roster, if not all of it, for this one. The Chaps are looking to finish  in a tie for first overall, while BPX is literally looking to get the train back on the tracks. They’ve derailed in the second half of the season, and might be the coldest team in the division. PASSLESS CHAPS BY 6


The Replacements vs Tater Tots (EVEN) – This is about as even as it gets. Both teams are allowing 33 ppg. The Replacements are averaging one more point per game, 25-24. Both teams have been up and down. The Replacements will have already played a game this day, so look for the Tots to take this one. TATER TOTS BY 5


TMA vs Wild Oak Beard Co (+8) – TMA is rolling right now, and while WOBCO has been much improved over the course of the season, I just don’t think they’re ready to compete with the top teams in this division. TMA BY 10


Graves Bros vs Blitzkrieg (+20) – Blitzkrieg just can’t stop anyone, and they need a defensive guru to walk to Field 5 at 2:00 and give them tips. I don’t think they’ll be able to handle Graves Bros at all here, and hopefully BK will learn from this season and retool for the next year. GRAVES BROS BY 24




1.      Will the fields hold up? They’re starting to get worse and worse (as they do in the fall), and with the current weather prediction of rain in the forecast, could they get destroyed a week before playoffs?


2.      Who’s the best team in the league, relative to the division? Right now, I’d have to say it’s No Punt Intended. They’re firing on all cylinders right now, and they straight up stole first place in this division.



3.      Who makes the playoffs in D3? With all of the teams playing each other for the final two playoffs spots, I have this sneaky feeling we’ll see 3rd and Schlong and Puckett All-Stars get in with Vaspian looking in from the outside.


4.      Who wins the D2 bye? Honestly, it’s going to be Team Topper. I love the Topper vs Matty vs Peachy battle for it, but right now no team in the division is playing better than HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO. That defense is just legit.



5.      Will “Fall Fest” in Ellicottville ruin the final week of football? Last week saw a good sized chunk of the TSL head to Nashville (and a few other places) and miss out on the fields last Saturday. Multiple reports came into me from trusted sources that the bar was pretty much empty by 4:30 and just not nearly as hoppin’ in general. Here’s hoping E-ville doesn’t ruin that.




1.      Here’s your best games of the day to watch:

a.      9:00 – HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO vs Dilfs – Field 1

b.      10:00  - Over Compensators vs En Fuego – Field 4

c.       11:00 – Matty’s Angels vs Cunning Stunts – Field 3

d.      12:00 – Vaspian vs Puckett All-Stars – Field 2

e.      1:00 – End Game vs 3rd And Schlong – Field 2

f.        2:00 – Peachy Platoon vs Slytherin That End Zone – Field 1

g.      3:00 – Frodo Swaggins vs Sticky Bandits – Field 1


2.      I, for one, think Joey Batts and Gryffindor will get that victory this week.


3.      Seriously Qwinners, what is your deal lately? Are you really going to blow another championship? There’s a reason people email me to let me know that you’re nowhere near as good as Peachy Platoon and that I should stop comparing you. Maybe they’re right.



4.      Hey Cobblestone, I know I can be rough on you sometimes, but for real, if you’re going to forfeit a doubleheader (or ANY game) don’t just not show up. It’s a real douche move to make the other team show up ready for a game that doesn’t happen. You’re better than that. Tell Topper next time.


5.      You know how there’s been music most weeks of the season and people have been having a great time? That’s all thanks to DJ Jimmy, and if you’re having an event that needs a fantastic DJ, talk to him at Five Star Productions. They’re fantastic, and they’ve been running our Banquet for years now. Couldn’t recommend them enough. Let’s get some DJ Tommy at the fields soon!



6.      Pro Tip: Our field is only 50 yards long, with 8-yard endzones. That means you only need 8-10 yards per play to get in scoring position. Stop worry about going deep all of the time. Be smarter.


7.      I heard there was another Tito’s With Travis filmed, but I have yet to see it posted anywhere yet. Where is it?



8.      Shout out to all of the referees this week. Rameer had said that the league was very short on referee bodies and A LOT of the TSL stepped up to help out. You guys are what makes this league so great. Thank you.


9.      I’ve written this article for the better part of a decade now, and I still love doing it. This is my way of staying connected to the league I love so much. Thank you to those of you that email me updates and things to know to help me out as best as you can. It’s appreciated. Email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. if you have any information.



10.   Finally, some sad news from the TSL Universe. Gunther, Topper’s long time pup, passed away this weekend. If you see Topper this weekend, give him a big hug and hold him closely.


RIP Gunther. You were an awesome dog.




Playoff Picks, Odds, Predictions, Advice and thoughts

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Friday, 18 October 2019 12:47
Published: Friday, 18 October 2019 12:47
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 2010


“And I can feel it, coming in the air tonight. Oh Lord.

Well I’ve been waiting for this moment, for all my life. Oh Lord.”

 – Phil Collins


Just like you, I’m immediately singing the awesome drum solo in my head from In The Air Tonight. It’s a killer pump up song. Seriously, Ray Lewis used to listen to this song before games. A few of you are considering using deer antler spray this coming weekend, so it can only mean one thing: PLAYOFFS ARE HERE!!! Well, that, and we really could use a TSL drug testing policy. Of course, then we’d lose Topper to suspension because that’s the ONLY reasonable explanation for just how well he’s been playing in the last year or two.


Lets face it kids, we’re all way too excited as the race for SOCIAL CO-ED FOOTBALL IMMORTALITY IS FINALLY UPON US. The last 8 weeks were just positioning for the next two. This is what it’s all about, and this is what it’s always BEEN about. Over the next two weeks, 42 of our 47 teams from this session will do battle on the Leonard T. Alba fields at the Rose Garden (FYI: nobody has officially named the fields after Lenny, but we should. There’s zero doubt in my mind that if Lenny were here and we lost Topper, there’d be a flowered trellis with a bronze statue of Topper leading you to the Patrick J. McGovern Fields every week) and by the time the dust clears on October 26th, 6 of our teams will be crowned TSL Fall 2019 Champions. But before we get into just who will win those titles, let’s take a quick moment to remember those who are already eliminated from competition:




We Back/Schilling ‘Em Softly:

8th Place in D2

Overall TSL Rank: 47/47

Offensive Rank (Division): 8th

Defensive Rank (Division): 8th


Nothing to say here really. We Back was out of the league by Week 5. I’m only taking this second to give a shout out to SES for stepping up and playing when we really needed them to. It was awesome of you guys to help out.



10th Place in D6

Overall TSL Rank: 45th

Offensive Rank (Division): 8th

Defensive Rank (Division): 10th


 It’s a shame we didn’t get to learn more about BK this season. From what I heard, they were seen at the bar more than a lot of TSL teams this season. While they could put up some points, it was clear they struggled on defense a lot, and hopefully they’ll be back in the Spring with a new defensive coordinator and can start putting up some wins.


Shattered Dreams:

9th Place in D6

Overall TSL Rank: 42nd

Offensive Rank (Division): 10th

Defensive Rank (Division): 8th


Shattered Dreams made things a bit interesting in the final week of the season, pulling out the 29-12 upset of Graves Bros in the first game of their doubleheader, essentially turning their second game of the day with The Replacements into a playoff game. They lost that 32-27, but they should take solace in the fact that they improved just about every week of the season. This is another team that could use just some more time together to gel and could make some strides in the Spring. Their girls are pretty good, but they could definitely use another consistent male player or two. Or they can just sign James “Hitman” Hearn, who apparently subbed in for two games and became the Career TD leader for Shattered Dreams.


Ultimate Warriors:

10th Place in D3

Overall TSL Rank: 43rd

Offensive Rank (Division): 4th

Defensive Rank (Division): 10th


Defense was the biggest issue for the Warriors this season. They went 1-7-1 this year and while they really figured things out on offense with the addition of QB Scott Pinto, their defense was the biggest problem this time around. They’re a better team than their record suggests, but D3 was just a stacked division top to bottom.


3rd and Schlong:

9th Place in D3

Overall TSL Rank: 35th

Offensive Rank (Division): 3rd

Defensive Rank (Division): 9th


This one hurts to write, because I’ve been informed that this is more of an obituary than anything else. 3rd and Schlong just had to win one game, and they’d have made the playoffs, but instead they wound up going 0-2 in a 36-30 loss to End Game and then, in essentially a playoff game, came up short 24-19 against Puckett. It was later announced that 3rd and Schlong was no more, as it appears the team will be splitting apart. The half of the team everyone loves will be going down into a lower division, and the half nobody cares about will allegedly put in a higher division team, only to most likely get smoked by the competition. When 3rd and Schlong first popped onto the scene, they were amazing. They won some games, and quickly became league darlings, going on the podcasts and being seen at all major TSL events. It’s a shame it had to end, but all things eventually do. Maybe we’ll get a reunion tour in the future. Thank you 3AS.


And with those poor, unfortunate souls out of the way, let’s take a look at the first round of the TSL playoffs!




(4) Marketing Mayors (5-4) vs (5) Gryffindor (1-8) (+7)

Overall TSL Rank: Gryffindor 44th, Mayors 21st

Offensive Rank (Division): Gryffindor 5th, Mayors 4th

Defensive Rank (Division): Gryffindor 5th, Mayors 4th

Past Games: Marketing Mayors 46, Gryffindor 41


This hasn’t been the best season for Joey Batts and Co, but they know that. They’re still looking for their first win in D1, and while this is their “best” chance at it, that means nothing. The Mayors are the defending champions, and word has been that they only reason they’ve slipped a bit because they haven’t had the entire roster in a few weeks. That should more than likely change for the playoffs. MARKETING MAYORS BY 10




(2) HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO (7-2) vs (7) Energy Buff (2-7) (+13)

Overall TSL Ranking: HB: 4th, EB: 41st

Offensive Rank (Division): HB: 1st, EB: 7th

Defensive Rank (Division): HB: 2nd, EB: 3rd

Past Games: Team Topper 49, Energy Buff 8


There isn’t much to say here. Team Topper ended up as the second seed (even with a one point loss to A&A last week) due to Topper’s own scheduling quirk that gave Peachy an extra game. They end up with what is essentially a bye week anyway as Energy Buff comes to town to just finish off what has been a season of horrors for the team. They still have FANASTIC women, and honestly the guys that actually show up are great people too, but Energy Buff had too many no shows and roster issues for this to really mean anything for them. Team Topper is just straight up dynamite, and they should roll in this one. HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO BY 15


(3) A&A (7-2) vs (6) Dilfs (3-6) (+10)

Overall TSL Ranking: A&A 8th, Dilfs 34th

Offensive Rank (Division): A&A 3rd, Dilfs 4th

Defensive Rank (Division): A&A 6th, Dilfs 5th

Past Games: A&A 45, Dilfs 15


Another case of one of the “Top 3” getting to play against a lower seed that just really can’t keep up in this division. The Dilfs are a good team, there’s no debating that. The problem is that A&A is a great team, especially when everyone shows up. If the Dilfs get Dubey to actually show up and play QB, they’ll have much more of a chance to pull this off, but you have to assume that Matty will have all of his disgustingly good roster ready to go for the playoffs baby. A&A BY 14


(4) Slytherin That End Zone (3-6) vs (5) Bullet Club (3-6) (-3)

Overall TSL Ranking: SITE 31st, BC 32nd

Offensive Rank (Division): SITE 5th, BC 6th

Defensive Rank (Division): SITE 7th, BC 4th

Past Games: SITE 32, Bullet Club 26


This is about as even a game as you can get. Well, at least it should’ve been. SITE QB Matt Newman won’t be available for this game, and as a result Gary is going to have to QB SITE for the playoffs. He was getting reps in last week against Peachy Platoon and the results were “not great”. Bullet Club meanwhile has been playing better in recent weeks, and their 24-6 win over the Dilfs was the type of game you’ve come to expect from them. Good defense, smart play, and with Good Ricky throwing the ball they can beat a lot of teams. Probably not any of the “Top 3”, but a Gary-QB’d SITE team? BULLET CLUB BY 7




(1) No Punt Intended (7-2) vs (8) Puckett All-Stars (3-6) (+8)

Overall TSL Ranking: NPI: 10th, PAS: 33rd

Offensive Rank (Division): NPI 2nd, PAS 9th

Defensive Rank (Division): NPI 1st, PAS 6th

Past Games: No Punt Intended 33, Puckett All-Stars 21


Puckett looks to repeat last season’s championship victory in the same exact way: Get in the playoffs as an 8th seed and upset the 1st seed that everyone assumes will stomp them. Ask End Game about how that worked out for them. I want to assume this is a different outcome, but last season still sticks in the back of my mind. But there’s one big difference that sticks out in my mind. D4 last season wasn’t nearly as good as D3 is this season. For NPI to finish as the 1 seed here, they deserve some real credit. This was a delight to watch this division from afar and whoever would wind up on top just EARNED it. Plus, stats don’t lie, and I can’t imagine Puckett scoring nearly enough to keep up here. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 10


(2) Frodo Swaggins (6-3) vs (7) Vaspian (4-5) (+10)

Overall TSL Ranking: Frodo 13th, Vaspian 29th

Offensive Rank (Division): Frodo 5th, Vaspian 10th

Defensive Rank (Division): Frodo 3rd, Vaspian 7th

Past Games: Frodo Swaggins 30, Vaspian 26


Is that the upset bells I hear? D3 is going to have one big upset, but I’m not entirely sure this is it. Vaspian showed up to the league, and they’ve been great. They’ve played well on the fields, they’ve showed up on the podcast and at the bar, and they just “get it”. They’ve made a QB change midseason, which is always a scary move, but it’s worked out for them as they won enough to make playoffs. Frodo hasn’t been too hot lately, but apparently a lot of that can be contributed to not having the full roster there completely. When everyone is there, Frodo is a very tough team to beat. Expect this one to be closer than you think it’ll be. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 3


(3) All We Do Is Quinn (6-3) vs (6) Sticky Bandits (4-5) (+3)

Overall TSL Ranking: AWDIQ 15th, Sticky 25th

Offensive Rank (Division): AWDIQ 1st, Sticky 7th

Defensive Rank (Division): AWDIQ 5th, Sticky 8th

Past Games: Sticky Bandits 39, All We Do Is Quinn 37


Fun Fact: All We Do Is Quinn hasn’t won a game in a month. Seriously, they last won a TSL game on September 21st. Back then, we were anointing them D3 Kings and Queens and my goodness were we wrong. I don’t know what happened to them, or if the league just “figured them out”. Obviously they boast talent, but talent doesn’t always equate to winning games. It’s how you use that talent. And that’s what Sticky does best. Sticky is an underrated 6 seed, as they’ve essentially blown a few games this season due to their stubbornness to continue to trot out Rags at QB when Mike Thomas has been just hanging out, not throwing touchdowns. Word out of multiple TSL informants have told me that Thomas is going to be the official starter at QB this weekend, which means Sticky should be classified as dangerous. There’s going to be one “upset” in D3 for sure this weekend, and I think I’ve found it. STICKY BANDITS BY 3


(4) Jabronies (5-3-1) vs (5) End Game (5-4) (EVEN)

Overall TSL Ranking: Jabronies 17th, End Game 22nd

Offensive Rank (Division): Jabronies 6th, End Game 8th

Defensive Rank (Division): Jabronies 4th, End Game 2nd

Past Games: End Game 25, Jabronies 7


Don’t look now, but End Game is one of the hottest teams in the league right now. They’ve won 3 straight, including the 25-7 win over the Jabronies. The Jabronies haven’t been their best as of late either, which is always a deadly mix. I can’t even really say the 5 over a 4 is an upset, so I won’t, but these two teams DID just play each other not too long ago, and I can’t say whether or not the Jabronies figured out what went wrong. End Game feels like they’re on a different level right now to me. I might be wrong here, but I’m going with my heart: END GAME BY 1




(3) Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (5-4) vs (6) Full Throttle (2-6) (+18)

Overall TSL Ranking: URTT 23rd, FT 39th

Offensive Rank (Division): URTT 3rd, FT 6th

Defensive Rank (Division): URTT 6th, FT 5th

Past Games: Uncle Rico’s 41, Full Throttle 21

Uncle Rico’s 49, Full Throttle 32


This is going to be a blood bath. Uncle Rico’s made some sort of deal with the devil (Just in time for Halloween!) because they went from D4 afterthought to “main contenders to the genders” in the blink of an eye. Full Throttle has just been on the wrong end of way too many lopsided losses, and this is more than likely going to be a swift, quick end to this lost season. I can’t imagine an upset in this scenario, I’m sorry. UNCLE RICO’S TIME TRAVELERS BY 20


(4) Buffalo Solar Solutions (4-5) vs Mountain Dew Me (3-6) (+6)

Overall TSL Ranking: BSS 28th, MDM 36th

Offensive Rank (Division): BSS 4th, MDM 5th

Defensive Rank (Division): BSS 4th, MDM 2nd

Past Games: Buffalo Solar Solutions 29, Mountain Dew Me 22

Buffalo Solar Solutions 45, Mountain Dew Me 20


Shout out to Mountain Dew Me for a mildly successful first season in the TSL! Okay, they were only 3-6, but the league is definitely talking about them. They’re FAST. They’re young, I think. They’re apparently all 5 foot 4 blondes. Good for them. I look forward to seeing where their future in the TSL takes them. They have division championships in their future, just not this season. Buffalo Solar has had what can be described as an up and down season. They played the Stunts close twice, they beat the Angels but also got smacked around by them, and they’ve had some great games with Uncle Rico’s as well. They could very easily have a 6-3 record if a bounce or two goes their way. They’ve had their way with MDM this season, and I expect that we’ll see them move on this week. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 8




(1) Over Compensators (8-1) vs (8) Pink Pteratacos (1-8) (+21)

Overall TSL Ranking: OC 1st, PP 46th

Offensive Rank (Division): OC 1st, PP 8th

Defensive Rank (Division): OC 2nd, PP 5th

Past Games: OC 50, Pink Pteratacos 0 (And a forfeit win too)


This isn’t going to be fair. Can we just get 3rd and Schlong to take the Pteratacos place? I think that’d be much more fair to the eyes of the TSL. The OC lost their perfect season chances last week against their rivals in En Fuego, 36-28. They’re still the best rated team overall in the TSL, and the Pteratacos are 46th, only better than We Back, who were just beyond awful. This is a mismatch, and it won’t be pretty to watch. OVERCOMPENSATORS BY 30


(2) En Fuego (8-1) vs Cobblestone (2-7) (+15)

Overall TSL Ranking: En Fuego 2nd, Cobblestone 40th

Offensive Rank (Division): En Fuego 4th, Cobblestone 7th

Defensive Rank (Division): En Fuego 1st, Cobblestone 3rd

Past Games: En Fuego 21, Cobblestone 0 (Two Forfeits)


This isn’t going to be nearly as bad as the first D5 matchup, but En Fuego should walk away with this one. They came out and beat the OC and got that revenge they wanted, so the next step for Blasé and Co is to make sure they get back to the title game for the rubber match. We don’t know exactly what this matchup will look like on the field, as Cobblestone forfeited both games of a doubleheader with En Fuego not too long ago. There isn’t much else to say here. EN FUEGO BY 13


(3)Hung Buffalo (5-4) vs (6) Come From Behind (3-6) (+9)

Overall TSL Ranking: HB 19th, CFB 38th

Offensive Rank (Division): HB 3rd, CFB 6th

Defensive Rank (Division): HB 4th, CFB 8th

Past Games: Come From Behind 30, Hung Buffalo 20


I’m sorry Hung Buffalo. I just haven’t given you guys the proper amount of credit this season. You’ve had a sneaky good one, and while 5-4 isn’t anything to truly write home about, one look at your positive point differential (the only other team besides OC and En Fuego to do so) shows me the league is sleeping on you. Everyone loves Come From Behind, I get it. But they’re not very good. They’re still last in the division on defense and while its not by the biggest of margins, it still exists. They can’t stop anyone, and HB is coming to town with a pretty nice offense. I know that CFB did beat HB earlier in the season, but things have been different since that game. HUNG BUFFALO BY 10


(4) Practice Squad (5-4) vs (5) Hope N Ruin (4-5) (+2)

Overall TSL Ranking: PS 20th, HNR 27th

Offensive Rank (Division): PS 5th, HNR 2nd

Defensive Rank (Division): PS 6th, HNR 7th

Past Games: Practice Squad 49, Hope N Ruin 46


This going to be one hell of a game. I spent a good chunk of this season singing Practice Squad’s praises, as they started off pretty well in the division. I’m not saying they’re playing poorly by any means, but Week 9 Practice Squad just feels, well, different to me as opposed to say, Week 3 PS. Meanwhile, Hope N Ruin has been running through the league quite nicely. I had said many times that if they get hot, watch out. Well, they got hot. They have the division’s second highest scoring offense, and they’re 4-1 in their last five. When a game feels like it’s a pick ‘em, I have to go with the hot hand. HOPE N RUIN BY 3




(1) Zack Attack (7-2) vs (8) Wild Oak Beard Co. (3-6) (+9)

Overall TSL Ranking: ZA 5th, WOBCO 37th

Offensive Rank (Division): ZA 1st, WOBCO 9th

Defensive Rank (Division): ZA 4th, WOBCO 6th

Past Games: Zack Attack 34, Wild Oak 15


Zack Attack was the beneficiary of winning the three-way tie at the top of the standings here. Their reward is an underseeded WOBCO team, whose forfeit last week caused a pretty nice shakeup in the standings for sure, and it could’ve been even worse! Had Shattered Dreams defeated The Replacements, there’s a chance WOBCO’s forfeit could’ve cost them a playoff spot. Now, the forfeit did lead to some misleading things here. WOBCO averaged about 25 points a game before the 0, which would’ve put them around the 6th or 7th best offense. The defense would’ve taken a hit though. It doesn’t matter much though. Zack Attack has been one of the best teams in the division pretty much all year. While the first week of the season victory can’t give us much to go on as both teams were just figuring things out, I think it’ll still serve as a blueprint for how this one goes. ZACK ATTACK BY 10


(2) TMA (7-2) vs (7) The Replacements (4-5) (+13)

Overall TSL Rank: TMA 6th, The Replacements: 30th

Offensive Rank (Division): TMA 2nd, The Replacements 7th

Defensive Rank (Division): TMA 1st, The Replacements 9th

Past Games: TMA 41, The Replacements 18


TMA is f’n good. They lost two games this season, and one was Week 1 where they didn’t have their awesome new QB Ryan, and the other was an 8 point loss the to the pAssless Chaps, which isn’t a bad loss at all. They pretty much blew everyone else out, holding their opponents in each win to under 18 points, with the weird anomaly of a 32-31 victory against Blitzkrieg. The Replacements may be lucky to be in the playoffs at all, and while they gutted out 4 victories this season, I can’t possibly figure out a way that they’ll be able to keep scoring enough to keep up with TMA. It always feels like this might be the year for TMA, but this might actually be it. TMA BY 17


(3) pAssless Chaps (7-2) vs (6) Tater Tots (4-5) (+10)

Overall TSL Rank: Chaps 7th, Tots 26th

Offensive Rank (Division): Chaps 5th, Tots 6th

Defensive Rank (Division): Chaps 2nd, Tots 7th

Past Games: pAssless Chaps 29, Tater Tots 12


TOTS VS FRIES 2.0!!! Honestly, the Tater Tots might be my favorite brand new team, just from what I hear about them at the bar and that they’re allegedly in great spirits a lot. Dave Marcus seems like a pretty good guy from what I heard on the podcast, and I really wish them all the best in their future in the TSL. They’re just what the league needs more of. With that said, as much as I want them to win the second bet (BECAUSE THERE SHOULD BE A SECOND BET), the Chaps are in another world. Ever since Coach Jay joined the team last year, this once directionless team has really gelled together. They were VERY close to winning the D6 title last season, and there’s no reason that they couldn’t go that extra step further. They aren’t going to sleep on the Tots though, as tempting as it is to look ahead to a probable matchup with their rivals, TMA. Sorry Tots. PASSLESS CHAPS BY 12


(4) Graves Bros (5-3-1) vs The Bi-Polar Express (4-4-1) (EVEN)

Overall TSL Rank: Bros 16th, BPX 24th

Offensive Rank (Division): Bros 4th, BPX 5th

Defensive Rank (Division): Bros 3rd, BPX 5th

Past Games: The Bi-Polar Express 16, Graves Bros 16


Welp, here’s a fantastic game for everyone. Last time these two teams met, it was a tie. From that game, Graves Bros went 3-2 down the stretch, although they did lose one game with one 5 people last week. BPX fared much, much worse. Once the top team in the division at 4-0-1, they’re on a 4 game losing streak. Granted, they had to go through the three top teams in the division during this stretch, and they apparently had attendance issues, but things don’t look nearly as promising for the “other” gender team in the TSL as it once did. On top of that, Gordon won’t be there to QB, so Non-Award Winning Tommy Hughes is filling in at QB. Reports are mixed on whether that helps or not. Honestly? I think Tommy brings a better football mind to the team, and that could be the boost this team needs. THE BI-POLAR EXPRESS BY 3




1.      Which high seed is most likely to be upset in the first round of the playoffs? All We Do Is Quinn. I’m not even trying to pile on here, but I think they’re ripe for an upset and I think Sticky can absolutely beat them.


2.      Which low seed has the best chance to win the division championship? I’m going to say that “low” seeds are anyone ranked 4th and below here. With that, I’ll take Buffalo Solar Solutions. They’ve already shown that they can beat the Angels at full strength, so perhaps it’s their time.



3.      How many 1 seeds will win their championships? Anything and everything usually happens in these playoffs. Of the 6 #1 seeds, I’ll say that only TWO of them win their respective titles – Over Compensators and Matty’s Angels.

4.      Then who are your predictions for the title winners? Public Enemy, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO, Frodo Swaggins, Matty’s Angels, Over Compensators, and TMA.


5.      Those are all boring, who would you pick for the titles that wouldn’t be nearly as obvious, but plausible? Tight Ends In Motion, Peachy Platoon, Sticky Bandits, Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers, Practice Squad, The Bi-Polar Express.





1.      All of the playoff games are “must see”, but here’s my best games of the hour:


a.      10:00 – No Punt Intended vs Puckett All-Stars – Field 3

b.      11:00 – Jabronies vs End Game – Field 3

c.       12:00 – All We Do Is Quinn vs Sticky Bandits – Field 1

d.      1:00 – Practice Squad vs Hope N Ruin – Field 2

e.      2:00 – Graves Bros vs The Bi-Polar Express – Field 3

f.        3:00 – Hung Buffalo vs Come From Behind – Field 1


2.      I listen to both of these podcasts and I can’t help but wonder what Lenny would be thinking right now. It’s like Lenny split in half and there’s bits and pieces of him littered throughout both shows.


3.      I talked to Topper last weekend, and he was absolutely taken aback and touched by all of you who took the time to offer your condolences about Gunther, sign the card, share a drink, bring pictures, and everything else that was super cool I heard happen. Way to take care of one of our own people.



4.      The weather out here in the 515 on Saturday is looking like 66 degrees and rain, lucky for you guys it seems like the 716 is going to be PERFECT football weather, mostly sunny and 58 degrees. Seriously, wear sunscreen.


5.      I already gave them a heartfelt goodbye, but seriously the league won’t be the same with out 3rd and Schlong all together. It seems like just yesterday they were making weird terrorist videos and coming out with new swag all of the time.


6.      It seems Joe K is going to start a new gender team. I have no idea how good he is at QB, but at the very least it’s good to see that SOMEONE realized just how much female talent this league has that isn’t being utilized by a ladies team. I’ve heard whispers that there’s another one or two out there potentially as well.



7.      Topper has informed me that the ANNUAL TSL BANQUET is looking like January 3rd. Now, he has to book a place and stuff before that’s finalized, but this is like your Save the Date. It’s subject to change, but that’s the target date for now. BE PREPARED FOR THE BEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE.


8.      Costume Bowl is happening on October 26th after all of the championship games are played. Emily and Joe K have already compiled a list of TSLers that are going to be donning costumes and preparing to have the time of their lives that day. There may also be a TSL costume bar crawl afterwards as well. We’re going to go out with a bang it seems!



9.      Look, I know that you’ve waited so long to finally be able to play a playoff game to win the race for Social Co-Ed football immortality, but can we take a second and remember that this is one Co-Ed touch football, and you’re not playing Tom Brady? Take it easy on the girls, the refs have been instructed to throw flags on ANY FEMALE CONTACT BY A MALE, which is actually the rule. Intent does NOT matter. Just seriously, be smart. Or at least as smart as you can be.


10.   For the most part though, we’ve had a hell of a season. There seems to be a lot of cool new faces over there, and we’ve played a LOT of good football together. Let’s not ruin it and instead continue to build on it. Remember, we’re a family here, and not the fight all the time broken family. No, this league is about being respectful and close with one another, and I’d like to see you all keep it going in that direction.



Good luck out there, all of you. I don’t know what surprises the magic of the TSL has in store for you all this weekend, but there’s going to be some great games and interesting winners happening. Go get ‘em.

Week 7 Thoughts, Picks & Stuff

Category: The Godfather's Picks
Created: Thursday, 03 October 2019 20:55
Published: Thursday, 03 October 2019 20:55
Written by Patrick McGovern
Hits: 2230


Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, Week 6 is in the record books. The calendar has officially turned to October in the Year of Our Lord 2019. It pains me to say this, but there are only TWO weeks remaining in the regular season for the Fall 2019 Session. And even though we only have but a few games remaining, man do they ever matter! Playoff races are far from decided. Seeding is all over the place. The TSL is, as usual, a scrambled mess with nobody truly knowing just how everything is going to play out. What does that mean for us?


It’s going to be VERY fun to watch it all play out.


Teams that were looking good a few weeks ago don’t look so good anymore. Teams we had questions about have answered them, emphatically. Other teams that seemed like something was missing are getting really hot right now. There are some teams out there that I don’t think anyone wants to see lining up against them, when a few weeks ago that may not have been the case.


The great tragedy that is a TSL season is almost in the books. I always say it’s a tragedy because by the time the smoke clears, only six of our 47 contenders for Social Co-Ed Football immortality will achieve the success that some can only dream of. Only the Special Six will walk into the banquet in the winter, knowing that they’re champions, and the rest of us can only bow to them. That means 39 other teams will have nothing to do but hang their heads in shame, knowing that they just quite weren’t good enough, and they’ll have to go back to the drawing board.


Who is playing the best football right now? Who has the best shot at taking home the coveted Topper Trophy as division champions? Let’s take a look at all of that fun, and more, in this week’s article.




The Contenders:

Eyes Downtown, Marketing Mayors, Public Enemy


That Middle Zone That Isn’t Nearly As Bad As Being Gryffindor:

Tight Ends In Motion





Last Week’s Scores:

Eyes Downtown 37, Marketing Mayors 29


Not a ton of action this weekend in D1 with a game being cancelled. Eyes Downtown beat the defending champions by a score, but I already heard (Okay, I read the QB Power Rankings, because it’s EXCELLENT) that Dalfonso wasn’t in at QB, so you can’t fully read much into this. D1 needs to be appreciated more. Yes, Gryffindor is having a horrible season, but they just got to the division, and I really hope they stay there for the Spring. It’s not easy leaping into our highest division and to just expect to compete ASAP is a fool’s errand. Just ask Tight Ends In Motion. They’ve been in the division for a while now and they’re still figuring it out. They get better each year (as their never ending QB issues seem to have finally worked themselves out, although no offense to Mike McKenrick, I’m always going to be #TeamSeth) and they’re on the cusp of really making a splash in D1. The biggest issue for them is just how good the top 3 teams in this division truly are. Public Enemy isn’t on a giant winning streak, but they’re still smart as hell. They’ve had semi-issues with attendance (Most notably Mike Boccio’s 17 week absence with a “boo boo”) this season, but no team is more effective with their full squad. They even added another layer of depth by finally getting Cheryl and Heather to accept another female in the fold, and the work of Misty Himes has added another dimension to PE’s game. The tiny little spark plug is secretly one of the fastest girls in the league, which, when she’s rushing the QB, she’s almost always disrupting their timing and making them adjust. They’re slow playing her in terms of getting her more involved in the offense (It’s incredibly hard NOT to put Cheryl and Heather on the field every single time) but given more time to develop she can become a force until Cole’s arm finally falls off by 2047. Eyes Downtown is the current favorites and quite frankly they’re playing some of the best football in the entire league still. There isn’t much more to say about Bobby’s squad: they’ve been dialed in pretty much all season. Beth and Joey are a formidable female pair, and everyone already knows just how good the guys on that team are as well. But what about our defending champions? They’re also just cruising along, waiting for the playoffs. Cory Turner has been watching the weather reports and reading the farmer’s almanac more than anyone (as is tradition) and is prepped to have his team ready to defend the crown. We know about their QB, everyone has heard of the legend of Andy Smith, and girls could only hope to be as good as Julie, but what about a sort of secret weapon like Andrew Bermel? Sure, if you’ve played against the Mayors, you’ve seen him just be a consistently good player. He’s the type of guy any team taking a run at the championship needs. He’ll do whatever is asked of him, but he won’t gripe about it. He doesn’t NEED the ball, but he’ll still score on you without a problem. He’ll go out and proceed to shut down teams on defense as well. He may not get the publicity as much, but shout out to you Mr. Bermel, your efforts aren’t completely unnoticed.


This Week’s Games:

There are NO D1 Games this week. A few teams will play in Crossover games with D2 teams, and I’ll cover those in the next section.




The Contenders:



The “We’re Here Too, Don’t Sleep on Us” Teams:

Dilfs, Slytherin That End Zone


The “Is it Spring Yet?” Teams:

Bullet Club, Energy Buff


The Others:

We Back   Schilling ‘Em Softly


Last Week’s Games:

Bullet Club 25, Energy Buff 22

A&A 45, Dilfs 15

HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO 44, Peachy Platoon 21

Energy Buff 45, Slytherin That End Zone 41

Slytherin That End Zone 36, Schilling ‘Em Softly 31


Well, We Back is not back. They were a joke from the beginning and, not surprisingly, they’re out of the league. That’s a shame because word was out that the few people that actually DID show up for them were cool people, and we’re sorry for them. But, life goes on. As always, the TSL had a plan. The Breakfast Club champions were asked to fill in, and fill in they did, sort of. A hybrid version of our Spring BC champions stepped into play out the season, and if they’re anything they’re a fun team to play with/against. They would go on to lose to Slytherin this week, but multiple reports suggested they didn’t really take the game too seriously. Which is fine, they’re here to be competitive and fun. Bullet Club and Energy Buff are two teams that really had higher hopes for the season, but before you knew it, they needed to consult the USL more often than anything else. BC won their game this week, but all that really helped decide is which juggernaut they might get to play in the first round. Energy Buff was pretty much made up of mostly sub list players I hear (although they DID go about it the right way, props to Eric for not breaking any rules, it isn’t hard people) and they competed hard. Special Guest QB Matty Ice threw a game ending pick in the end zone to lose to Bullet Club, and then Special Guest QB Ricky Austin came through with a come from behind win against Slytherin. If the Dilfs had any championship aspirations, my oh my did A&A extinguish those flames of hope. A 30 point beatdown really put the stamp on things for that division in terms of showing that there’s a clear line between 3rd and 4th place. Now let’s get to the MAIN EVENT. UNCLE. F’ING. TOPPER. Team Topper has a great defense, we’ve known that, and if you didn’t just ask them, they’ll tell you. But we questioned that statement based on what was known as a weak schedule. The real test was there with the Platoon, and let me tell you, my reporters from the field had nothing else to say about this game other than “it said the Platoon scored 21, but Topper threw a pick 6”. That means the defense held the Platoon to 14 points on its own! Topper was slinging it, and word is he went to Europe to get the same blood treatments Kobe Bryant was getting to extend his career. Whatever it was, it worked. Team Topper was tremendous here, and it set up a brilliant showdown with A&A for the first overall seed in the playoffs this week. Speaking of that…


This Week’s Games:


HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO vs A&A (+7) – PLUS SEVEN? WHO MADE THESE LINES?!?! The truth of the matter is, Las Vegas does it. But for real, the ONLY reason this game isn’t “even” is because Matty Ice is going to be jet setting to another comic convention (as he does once a season it seems) and he won’t be at the game. He actually emailed me specifically to let me know a lot about how great he is, but he also mentioned that A&A has never won a single game without him. As much as I’d like A&A to win simply because of that, this might be the worst possible matchup for them to try to do so without their leader. HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO BY 10




Tight Ends In Motion vs A&A (+10) – It only gets worse for A&A this week. What a HUGE weekend it would’ve been for Matty to actually like, be here. His emails to me claimed that it’s a travesty that he’s only ranked #4 on the Power Rankings, and you’d think going 2-0 against Team Topper and TEIM would’ve helped him finally jump up the list? But no, he ran away from the challenge. This would’ve been a fun game with both squads at 100%, but I just don’t see it being close now. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 10


Public Enemy vs HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO (EVEN) – BUT THIS GAME WILL MAKE UP FOR IT ALL. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Lenny Bowl is ON. Team Topper is one of the hottest teams in the game right now, and they’re catching PE at the right time. This game is going to be the best of the day, I can feel it. HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO BY 2


Peachy Platoon vs Schilling ‘Em Softly (+12) – I just don’t know who is going to show up for SES this week, as a few of their players aren’t going to be at the fields or they have other games. On top of all of that, Peachy has to be feeling pretty bothered by their loss to Team Topper, and as a result, is going to take out their frustrations and remind everyone of WHO THEY ARE in this game. If the Platoon doesn’t go for 50 points here, I’d be shocked. PEACHY PLATOON BY 15




The Contenders:

All We Do Is Quinn, No Punt Intended


The “We Need To Make An Adjustment Or Two” Teams:

Sticky Bandits, Jabronies, Frodo Swaggins


The “HERE WE COME” Team:

3rd and Schlong


The “Tough Out Because We’re Getting It Together” Team:

End Game, Puckett All-Stars


The “Battle Hard To Not Miss The Playoffs” Teams:

Vaspian, Ultimate Warriors


Last Week’s Games:

Puckett All-Stars 41, Ultimate Warriors 28

Frodo Swaggins 43, Ultimate Warriors 26

End Game 38, Frodo Swaggins 36

No Punt Intended 39, All We Do Is Quinn 26

3rd and Schlong 41, Jabronies 8

No Punt Intended 43, Sticky Bandits 13

Sticky Bandits 44, Vaspian 18


Well Quinn, there’s a new contender in town, and they’re called No Punt Intended. NPI had the best week of any TSL team, smacking around two of the contenders for the throne and really being able to do whatever they wanted on the fields this week. While beating a Sticky Bandits team that is somehow cycling through QBs like they’re TEIM at this point is one thing, walking up to the Quinners and punching them straight in the mouth is another. This division felt decided not too long ago, but now its up in the air. Is Quinn going to blow another championship? Are they going to become “that team” that can’t show up when it matters most? Is the potential love connection involving one of their lovely ladies distracting them that much? All of these questions NEED answers. Looking at that second group, what happened? Sticky, Jabronies, and Frodo all seemed like they were more than fantastic early in the season, and now they’re just all sorts of out of sorts. Each one of those teams feels like something’s misfiring, and it couldn’t be happening at a worse time. You know, just before playoffs. At this point, I don’t think any of these teams will be able to compete with the top two, nor does it feel like they’re guaranteed to beat anyone below them. Scotty Too Hotty needs to get his head on straight. I know that Frodo was shorthanded this week in the loss to End Game, but that’s a game they need to win. The Jabronies got absolutely punished by the division’s hottest team not named NPI: 3rd and Schlong! The AGELESS WONDER that is Scott Keller Sr is slinging it like it’s the Roaring 20’s all over again. There’s no coincidence that as soon as 40 Year Plan Guy came back to the fields, 3AS got their stuff together. Just his return alone has brought the smile back to Katie Keller’s face and gets her heart beating faster. And she’s playing like she actually cares again. People need to stop sleeping on Nicole Keller too. Every season people tend to forget just how good she is as well. She doesn’t get the publicity of the rest of her family, but she’s a hell of a player. The Ultimate Warriors picked a bad time to play some of the worst football they played all season. Going 0-2 wasn’t really an option for them, and they now need to win out to have any hope of making the playoffs. Vaspian is slowly starting to come along, but it might be too late in the season for that to happen. Kevin and Lucas were EXCELLENT on the podcast this week, and calling out AWDIQ is a little ballsy even, but this team is only going to get better the more they play. End Game got a huge win over Frodo this week, which had to be a relief to Dave and the various Vons on the team. They play hard, and they’ve worked even harder. It has to be refreshing to see the fruits of their labors finally coming in. Finally, Puckett is Puckett-ing. A team that was once winless has now won two straight and are currently sitting in the 8th seed for the playoffs. Just like last year, when they won the D4 title.


This Week’s Games:


Ultimate Warriors vs Vaspian (+10) – We don’t know who is going to throw for Vaspian in this game, but it isn’t going to be Lucas Kramer, as he announced on the podcast that he (and many of Vaspian actually) won’t be at the game this week. That’s a shame for them because this game has HUGE playoff stakes. A win here gives either team a hell of a tiebreaker over the other. After a tough week for the Warriors, it seems like they’re going to catch a break here. ULTIMATE WARRIORS BY 14


Jabronies vs Vaspian (+21) – The worst time to not have your team in town. The Jabronies are here to make up for last week’s embarrassment, and it seems like a depleted Vaspian squad may just be what the doctor ordered. JABRONIES BY 24


Jabronies vs End Game (+8) – As I said earlier, End Game is coming together and heating up right before the playoffs. I don’t forsee them being in danger of missing the playoffs, which means the teams up top better not underestimate them in the first round of the playoffs. This is going to be a good litmus test for them against the Jabronies, and you can bet that they’ll be prepared. They’ll have a good showing, but I still expect the Jabronies to pull this out. JABRONIES BY 3


All We Do Is Quinn vs Frodo Swaggins (+10) – Well, Scotty is playing 4D chess here it seems, because there’s zero way he doesn’t talk to Casey this week. Right? I mean, technically she’ll just be counting when she rushes him, but its like she’ll be counting directly to him. He might even say “hey” after she sacks him for the 7th time. Jokes aside, this game should have all of the makings of a potential championship game. It has fun storylines, and two really good teams (when both sides have everyone there, anyway). For this one, Quinn just got beat up by NPI and I can’t fathom them losing again. Meanwhile Frodo seems like they need to figure a lot more out on their side of things. That’s usually a recipe for a loss, eh? ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 12




The Contenders:

Matty’s Angels, Cunning Stunts, Buffalo Solar Solutions


The Other Half:

Full Throttle, Mountain Dew Me, Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers


Last Week’s Games:

Mountain Dew Me 22, Full Throttle 6

Matty’s Angels 66, Full Throttle 22

Buffalo Solar Solutions 45, Mountain Dew Me 20


It was just a nightmare of a Saturday for Full Throttle, as they were outscored by a combined 88-8 in their two games this week. Things just don’t seem to be going right for them as the season wears on, and it seems that their offense really just can’t get it together. After another rough go at it in D4, they may be looking at D5 in the spring, which can be a good thing! Mountain Dew Me may only be 2-5 in their first foray into the TSL, but they seem to be getting better each and every week as they adjust to the speed and the rules of the league. Matty’s Angels jumped back from their first loss of the season and took out their frustrations on FT this week. I loved hearing on the podcast that the guys from En Fuego were drafting different Angels and playing fantasy on the sidelines. Buffalo Solar Solutions took care of business this week, and they sit firmly in second place in the division. QB Andy has been one of the better players in the league in the second half, and last week was a huge eye opener for the TSL. A big reason for the BSS’ coming out party has been “The Best Girl You’ve Never Heard Of”, Caitlyn Mason. She played a big role in the upset against the Angels. She’s super fast, and even if she isn’t going to lead any “tallest person in the room” lists anytime soon, it doesn’t matter. Her blend of speed, route running, and her sticky hands have made her the secret weapon of the BSS squad, and well, the secret’s out guys. Sorry. The Cunning Stunts didn’t play last week, but they shouldn’t be counted out. This is a “what have you done for me lately?” league, and as a result, people are forgetting about the defending D5 champs. Finally, Uncle Rico’s is just sort of, there. This isn’t the season they planned, I’m sure of it, but things are trending upwards for them.


This Week’s Games:


Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers vs Full Throttle (+8) – Uncle Rico’s gets the perfect team to help them cure what ails them, as Full Throttle is trending down. URTT will look to get back to their winning ways, and a big reason they’ll get to do that will be Jackee Thompson. Jackee has been around the league for a minute now, but she doesn’t always get the credit she deserves. She may not be classified as a speed demon, but her hands are some of the best in the league. If she has a QB that can get the ball inside her impressive catch radius, she’s going to grab it. She runs fantastic routes to get open, and she uses her background in basketball to know just how to use her body to gain separation from a defender. If Uncle Rico’s is going to get back on track, feeding her would be a great place to start. UNCLE RICOS TIME TRAVELERS BY 7


Buffalo Solar Solutions vs Cunning Stunts (EVEN) – Here’s a big game for the division. Buffalo Solar is a week removed from upsetting Matty’s Angels, and now they get the chance to prove that all of this pub they’re getting is well deserved. The Stunts should be ready to go for this game, and BSS won’t catch them by surprise. The hype is real. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 3


Cunning Stunts vs Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (+10) – While I think Uncle Rico’s is on the upswing, I don’t think they’re at a “we can beat anyone in the Top 3” level right now. CUNNING STUNTS BY 12


Matty’s Angels vs Buffalo Solar Solutions (EVEN) – ROUND 2. FIGHT. But in reality, the Angels won’t have Matty to QB them, so they’ll be someone else’s Angels this week. I’m sure they’ll get a capable replacement for him, but this result can’t fully matter. However, if BSS can defeat the Stunts, they’ll be primed for an extremely rare gender team sweep. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 4


Matty’s Angels vs Mountain Dew Me (+10) – Mountain Dew Me played the Angels extremely well for the first half in their first game a few weeks back before it all fell apart. If they learned anything from that game, this is the perfect time for them to show the world. MATTYS ANGELS BY 9




The Kings Of The Hill:

Over Compensators


The Contenders to the Throne:

Practice Squad, En Fuego


The Middle Tier:

Hope N Ruin, Hung Buffalo, Come From Behind


The Thank God Everyone Makes Playoffs Level:

Cobblestone, Pink Pteratacos


Last Week’s Games:

Over Compensators 28, Practice Squad 14

Hope N Ruin 41, Cobblestone 28

En Fuego 33, Hung Buffalo 13

Hope N Ruin 43, Come From Behind 20

Come From Behind 38, Pink Pteratacos 36


The Pink Pteratacos had their best chance to win a game this season, and was instead handed a hard fought loss to CFB. Cobblestone keeps on trying, but I keep hearing that Darryl is still not showing up for half of these games. I really feel for them at this point. Hope N Ruin is doing what they always do and they’re getting hot before the playoffs. Yes, they got two wins over teams that are a combined 3-9, but the point is they showed up and got the job done both times in convincing fashion. En Fuego reminded anyone who may have forgotten that there’s a clear D5 divide this season with an easy 20 point win against Hung Buffalo. The story of the day, obviously, was Over Compensators taking on Practice Squad, and while they won, it was only by a score of 28-14. Practice Squad truly hung in there. The OC took the win though, and since nobody has really come close to them, they’re getting their own tier. Yes, I think En Fuego OR Practice Squad COULD beat them in the playoffs, I just wouldn’t bet on it. All three of these teams will look great beating on each other in D4 in the Spring.


This Week’s Games:


Over Compensators vs. Pink Pteratacos (+30) – It’s the highest line I’ve ever had to call here. The OC ripped through the PPs 50-0 in their last meeting, and I can’t fathom how this gap may have closed. Yes, the Pteratacos have played better recently, but The OC is otherworldly at this point. Larry, I’m calling you out. You better beat this spread. OVER COMPENSATORS BY 31


En Fuego vs Cobblestone (+15) – En Fuego is only half as good as The OC, and Cobblestone is better than the Pteratacos, so that’s why we find ourselves with large line that isn’t quite as big as others. Cobblestone is still fighting hard, and you love to see that. Especially when you remember they have some of the best jerseys in league history. But En Fuego is on a mission to get to The OC again. These two teams actually have to play each other twice this week, once at 11, and again at 1. Either way: EN FUEGO BY 16


Hung Buffalo vs Hope N Ruin (EVEN) – These are two pretty similar teams. HNR is a little bit of a winning streak. Hung Buffalo may score a little less, but they also allow less points as well. This is going to be a game of two even teams just going to war, and it should be fun to watch. I wouldn’t be surprised to see this be a 29-29 tie or something, but since I have to pick: HOPE N RUIN BY 1


Practice Squad vs Come From Behind (+12) – Practice Squad is gifted an easier game this week after having to battle the OC last Saturday. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 10




The Contenders:

Zack Attack, TMA, Bi-Polar Express, Graves Bros, pAssless Chaps


The With A Little More Practice, We’ll Get There Teams:

Wild Oak Beard Co, The Replacements


The Pretenders:

Tater Tots, Shattered Dreams, Blitzkrieg


Last Week’s Games:

pAssless Chaps 65, Blitzkrieg 13

Wild Oak Beard Co. 32, Shattered Dreams 8

The Replacements 38, The Bi-Polar Express 36

TMA 31, Zack Attack 16

Graves Bros 52, Tater Tots 0

TMA 44, Tater Tots 6


Oh those loveable Tater Tots. Someone cooked them for too long, and instead of being crispy and delicious, they’re burned and sad. A combined 96-6 doubleheader will do that to you. They’re still rising stars in the league, but man that’s a bad day. Speaking of bad days, Blitzkrieg had yet another one, as they allowed 65 points to the Chaps, who are just gearing up for the playoffs. They’ve allowed almost 300 points on the season, and are reaching out to Rex Ryan on Twitter to see if he’s going to be able to help with the defense. Shattered Dreams brings up the final team in the Pretenders category, and while a 32-8 loss isn’t nearly as bad as the others, it should still be concerning that they started the game with only 3 males this week. Joe K ended up filling in and playing QB (thus the lack of scoring), and it seems like they’ve had attendance issues more often than not. I still don’t know what they are. On the flip side, WOBCO went out and took care of business on the field yet again. The Replacements came out and upset The BPX after going down early in the game. They still have some fight left in them as we near the playoffs. TMA were the big winners this week, going 2-0 and getting a big win against Zack Attack, and moving into second place in the standings. Graves Bros were one of the teams that beat up on the Tots, cruising to a 52-0 victory.


This Week’s Games:


pAssless Chaps vs Zack Attack (EVEN) – The first part of our double main event for D6 this week focuses on the current first place in the standings team (Zack Attack) versus the team that lost in the championship game last season (the Chaps). This should be a hell of a battle as teams play for positioning in the playoffs. The Chaps have been rolling as of late, while it feels like the Attack just isn’t. PASSLESS CHAPS BY 10


pAssless Chaps vs Wild Oak Beard Co. (+8) -  This is a big game for WOBCO. They’re going to be catching the Chaps after what should be a hell of a game against the Attack, while WOBCO is coming in fresh. We need to know more about WOBCO for sure, but this win will all but assure them of the playoffs. I think we’ll see them compete hard, but ultimately fall. PASSLESS CHAPS BY 3


TMA vs The Bi-Polar Express (+8) – It’s rare for us to have to give points to the gender team here, but TMA is the worst matchup for BPX. If you can’t recall, BPX loses 4 girls to TMA every single time they play. That’s the only downside for grabbing the amazing foursome of females from TMA. But as amazing as TMA’s girls are, let’s give a shout out to one of the lesser recognized TMAers out there. You’ve heard of Ferger being great, Nick getting burned so badly they needed to get a “good” Nick (or so I’m hearing), Ron Webber is fantastic, but what about Rob Rummings? He’s more commonly known as “Drunk Meg’s Brother”, but Rob deserves some love too. He get a little lost with all of the TSL Celebrities on TMA, but Rob has really good hands, and even some deceptive speed. He’s not afraid of going for the jump ball, and runs pretty crisp routes as well. And no, he’s not afraid to talk smack to anyone that irks him, as we saw the last time these two teams played. Look for another good game for TMA as BPX continues their slight downward trend. TMA BY 13


Shattered Dreams vs Blitzkrieg (EVEN) – THIS IS ESSENTIALLY A LOSER LEAVES TOWN MATCH. Both teams wear red. Both teams are reeling. Both teams struggle on defense. If Shattered Dreams is to make any sort of run to the postseason, this is a game they MUST win. That means getting their players there and working together instead of against each other. If SD is going to figure out how to score points this season, they have to score against this porous BK Defense. It starts this week. SHATTERED DREAMS BY 3


Wild Oak Beard Co. vs The Replacements (+1) – I put these two in the same tier, but I slightly like WOBCO a little bit more than the Replacements. While The Replacements did steal a big win from BPX last week, they aren’t the hotter team right now. WOBCO is. I look forward to seeing the results of this game, but I think WOBCO is a little more dialed in right now as a whole. WILD OAK BEARD CO BY 2


Tater Tots vs Shattered Dreams (+3) – Another HUGE game for D6 with some playoff tiebreaking implications on the line. The Tots get a slight edge based on their ability to (usually) score a little more often than SD has. This game is going to be a slugfest. TATER TOTS BY 5




1.      What happened to Tots vs Fries?!?!! The game isn’t on the schedule, but I have direct emails (you can email me anytime at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.) that suggested the makeup game between the Chaps and the Tots would be this week! There’s supposed to be a bet on the line people! I spoke to league management however, and it seems like this game just isn’t on the schedule. Hopefully it’ll be made up next week. If it IS played for some reason, PASSLESS CHAPS BY 10, but tots are still better.


2.      How many TSLers are we going to miss this weekend? The word has been floating around that MANY TSLers are going to be out of town, with most of them going to Nashville for the Bills-Titans game. How will this affect the games on the fields? Will the bar be boring?


3.      Is Buffalo Solar Solutions for real? My sources say yes. The upset of Matty’s Angels was a shock to most of the TSL fanbase, but you know who it wasn’t a shock to? BSS. They’ve been prepping to take this division since some incredibly talented writer for the website pointed out that they didn’t have a chance. I’m really rooting for them to sweep both gender teams this weekend and make D4 so much more interesting.


4.      Is Costume Bowl happening? YES YES YES. I have word from the Costume Bowl committee that the game will take place after all of the championship games on October 26th, assuming the weather is nice and there is enough interest. If you want to play you can email me here, or you can find Joe K or Emily Curry at the fields!


5.      So what happens with D2 now that We Back is gone? Well, the whole point of having Schilling ‘Em Softly was to make sure that nobody missed a game during the regular season due to a weak forfeit or something. So, basically, whoever finishes the regular season in first place in D2 will now be given a bye in the first round of the playoffs, per Topper. That makes this weekend’s matchup with A&A and Team Topper THAT much more important!





1.      Shout out to the guys on Vaspian again. They just sound like they “get it”. The league is in need of newer, younger people who buy in to what this league is all about and I think we’ve got some right there.


2.      I’m incredibly saddened that we will be without “Tito’s With Travis” for another week. He’s going to be one of the many TSLers in Nashville this weekend, so that’ll make two straight weeks of no episode of one of our newest little features.



3.      Scotty, if you don’t talk to Casey this weekend, the entire league will just look at you with a ton of pity. Step your game up. This is your moment.


4.      Here’s this week’s “Best Games to Watch Each Hour”:


a.      10:00 – Public Enemy vs HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO – Field 2

b.      11:00 – Buffalo Solar Solutions vs Cunning Stunts – Field 4

c.       12:00 – TMA vs The Bi-Polar Express – Field 5

d.      1:00 – Frodo Swaggins vs All We Do Is Quinn – Field 2

e.      2:00 – Hung Buffalo vs Hope N Ruin – Field 2


5.      While Topper made the correct call in moving the season up a few weeks, I got multiple reports this week that the fields are starting to deteriorate. It was only a matter of time before they got muddied up, but it’s a lot better knowing that there’s only going to be 4 weeks of wear and tear on them instead of 6-7. Get yourself some cleat cleaners.


6.      WHAT A WEEKEND FOR RETURNS TO THE TSL! This week we saw James T Hearn on the battlefield with Schilling ‘Em Softly. Not to be outdone, the most honorable prophet, Second Shift Dave Walter has made his glorious return. But wait! Was that Award Winning Tommy Hughes out there as well? These people are legends in this league, and it’s always that much better to have them with us.


7.      Speaking of things that are made better when they’re there: Shout out to DJ Jimmy and Five Star Entertainment for coming out to the fields yet again and making things better with the tunes that he plays for us. It’s just a different atmosphere when the music is playing.



8.      The TSL Power Rankings is consistently hotly debated. My email box exploded this week, mostly by Matty Ice giving lots of details on why HE should be much higher that #4 on the ranks. Yet at the same time he’s no showing the biggest week of the season for A&A. Hmm.


9.      Can we get a shout out for B? B sometimes gets lost in the shuffle, but he’s been a solid ref for quite some time now. While he’s not as famous as his Brother, (B’s Brother) B finally got a shot to sling the rock one more time, and even though he’s rusty, he still was able to lead Come From Behind to a 38-36 victory. That’s awesome news. Congrats B!



10.   If I could redo the divisions RIGHT NOW into an 8-8-8-8-8-6 format to make it all ‘even’, it’d look something like this:  (I’m not including Schilling ‘Em Softly)

D1: Public Enemy, Marketing Mayors, Gryffindor, Tight Ends In Motion, Eyes Downtown, A&A, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO, Peachy Platoon

D2: Slytherin That End Zone, All We Do Is Quinn, No Punt Intended, Bullet Club, Energy Buff, Dilfs, Frodo Swaggins, Sticky Bandits

D3: 3rd and Schlong, End Game, Matty’s Angels, Cunning Stunts, Buffalo Solar Solutions, Puckett All-Stars, Jabronies, Vaspian

D4: Ultimate Warriors, Over Compensators, En Fuego, Mountain Dew Me, Practice Squad, Hung Buffalo, Hope N Ruin, Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers

D5: TMA, The Bi-Polar Express, Graves Bros, Wild Oak Beard Co., pAssless Chaps, Come From Behind, Zack Attack, Full Throttle

D6: Tater Tots, Blitzkrieg, Shattered Dreams, Cobblestone, Pink Pteratacos, The Replacements


These would be some pretty interesting divisions I think. Agree? Disagree? How would YOU do it? Email me.


Week 7 is here! Things are exciting as our regular season is winding down to a close. As playoff spots are on the line, I know that things can get a bit more “ramped up” in terms of testosterone (although Ladies, you can be little jerks too when you want to be) so let us all try to remember that this is a FUN game, and we shouldn’t ruin it by being jerks to one another. Keep your emotions in check and be safe out there.


The race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is almost over. Where are YOU going to finish?



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