WEEK 4 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 17 May 2024 15:55

Published: Friday, 17 May 2024 15:55

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 347

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, it’s hard to believe it but we’re already at Week 4 of the Spring 2024 season. After this week, you’re going to have to start taking stock in what the scores and the standings are saying about your team. The hope of turning around a slow start begins to fade as you realize this might just not be your year to win Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality. Teams who may have gotten off to hot starts are beginning to play the harder portion of their schedule, and they look to tumble down the standings. There are the lurkers who haven’t quite put together a complete game on either side of the ball, but they’re about to make a run. And of course, there are the teams that you can already see are just that damn good. 

The question must be asked then: Which one are you? 

While we should have a better idea going into next week, our TSL schedule finds itself to be a bit more balanced than it has been in the past. All of our teams have played anywhere from 2-4 games, where in seasons past we’ve had a larger disparity. That, of course, is due to the lack of a 5th field, and as a result, a lack of a 9th game for teams. While that isn’t as fun overall (and again, you can blame the construction of the Topperdome for that), it gives us an easier time to figure out just who is good, and who, well, isn’t. So, while the 51 teams in the TSL all try to figure out exactly who they are this season, I’ll do some of them a favor and let them know right now. 

D1:

Last Week’s Games:

Sticky Bandits 28, Eyes Uptown 26

Eyes Uptown 28, Frodo Swaggins 15

Frodo Swaggins 37, Eyes Downtown 25

D1 is staying fun, as you can obviously tell. Despite the preseason assumptions that this was a two horse race, it’s seeming that it's more of a three horse race, with the 4th currently keeping up a bit better than we figured. Sticky continued its perfect season (sorry for the jinx kids), sneaking by Eyes Uptown, who would go on to easily beat Frodo. Frodo, just to keep things interesting, would then go on to beat Eyes Downtown by two scores. 

Probably Good: Eyes teams. I get it, they’re both 1-2, they both aren’t playing their best, they both lost players, etc. They’re still the best teams at full strength, but the gap isn’t what it was even a season ago. 

Current Lurking Team To Watch Out For: Sticky Bandits. Look, D1 isn’t the best for what I’m writing here this week, so you’re going to have to bear with me. I understand that Sticky is 3-0, and I understand that Jeff Krol conveniently suspending the best player on one team (Eyes Uptown) and some other guys on another (Eyes Downtown) combined with Jeff also sacrificing his foot in some deal with a demon to get that D1 title plays into it. But, Sticky is much closer to the Eyeses (Eyesii?) than people realize, in part because two of their stud girls are that much more removed from their IR stints thanks to pregnancy (you really can’t underestimate how long that takes to bounce back from) and are playing better than maybe ever AND because they have the second best free agent signing of the TSL season when they acquired Maggie to rush and just be her usual awesome self. (For those asking, the top FA signing is still the Tots signing B to QB). Uptown and Downtown are focused on each other, for sure, but things at the top are going to get a bit more sticky than they expected. 

Probably Bad: Frodo Swaggins. Sorry Frodo, again, D1 only having 4 teams really ruins the theme here, and I had to put SOMEONE here. Overall, Frodo slightly lags behind, but their win over Eyes Downtown should show everyone that you can’t just sleep on them. They’re still the 4th best team in a 4 team division, so they get this spot. 

Top Storyline: Pretty easy here, the wild week 1 and the suspensions and t-shirts that came with it. 

This Week’s Games:

Sticky Bandits vs Eyes Downtown (EVEN) - I was just as shocked as anyone when I saw this line was even, but here we are. To quote B’s Brother “At the end of the day” Sticky has been playing the best overall football in D1 to this point, and ED just lost to Frodo. Neither team “needs” a win more, but I have a feeling ED is going to be playing with a larger chip on their shoulder. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 3

Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+3) - Frodo always plays Sticky quite well (I believe they won all 3 matchups last season?) so this game should be a fun one. While I expect a really close, back and forth, I think we’ll see Sticky pull this one out at the buzzer. STICKY BANDITS BY 2

Eyes Uptown vs Frodo Swaggins (+6) - A rematch of what we saw last weekend, and not much has changed from the 13 point win EU just had. It’s on Frodo to show they can do it. EYES UPTOWN BY 10

D2:

Last Week’s Games:

Freeballers 34, Puckett All-Stars 24

The Untouchaballs 32, Can’t Touch This 26

Scared Hitless 39, Freeballers 25

Mavericks 31, The Untouchaballs 31

D2 was a little all over the place, as the Freeballers beat Puckett, but then lost to Scared Hitless. The Untouchaballs got a win over CTT, but then they tied the Mavericks 31-31 in the rematch from the week before. On the plus side, they held the Mavs to 31 points less this week, even if tying is lame. 

Probably Good: Mavericks. This one was an easy one, but they’ve played so well this season and there’s just some positive vibes coming from this team. It’s hard to argue that a team that is 3-0-1 with 169 points for as being anything but ‘probably good’. 

Current Lurking Team To Watch Out For: I wanted to say Scared Hitless, who are currently doing that thing where they’re competitive but nobody is talking about them compared to the Mavericks/The Untouchaballs, but they’re also 3-0 so that isn’t fun. So I’ll go with the Freeballers who are sitting at 2-2, but they’re looking to make some noise and seem poised to finally do so. 

Probably Bad: Can’t Touch This. They’re currently on a massive losing streak, and they’re struggling to figure it out. It’s gotten so bad that QB Ryan is even emailing me “Will Can’t Touch This Ever Win Again? - No.”. CTT’s once strong confidence seems broken. 

Top Storyline: Puckett All-Stars not only making the jump up to D2, but being VERY competitive despite being 0-4. 

This Week’s Games:

Mavericks vs Can’t Touch This (+10) - What happens when the hottest team in the division takes on the coldest team in the division? We’re about to find out. And I don’t think it’s going to be pretty. MAVERICKS BY 12

Mavericks vs Scared Hitless (+7) - What happens when the hottest team in the division takes on the other hot team in the division? We’re about to find out. And I think it’s going to be fun. SCARED HITLESS BY 1

The Untouchaballs vs Freeballers (+6) - The Freeballers are the perfect example of what I’m talking about this week. Who are they? Are they really the lurker to watch out for? This game should tell us everything we need to know about them this week. I hope the FB are treating this game like the big one it is. With that said, The UT train is just beginning to roll and they’re getting better every week. We’ve seen this before, as they’ve started slow and then cruised to the title as they get hot. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 3

D3: 

Last Week’s Games:

Jabronies 28, Let’s Get Reccked 22

Wanderers 45, Topper’s All Stars & Todd 26

Practice Squad 39, Bullet Club 36

The Malones 54, Buffalo Vice 32

The Jabronies got their first win of the season over LGR, quieting rumors that they might not be too good this season. The Wanderers put a beating on TAST, which can easily be blamed on the downgrade at QB TAST went through going from Topper to Dubey. Practice Squad pulled out a win over Bullet Club in a close one, and the Malones just couldn’t stop scoring on Buffalo Vice. And wherever the Keller Whales were this week, they were more than likely winners too. 

Probably Good: Wanderers. They’re always good, and they improved their roster a bit on top of it. Sitting at 3-0, winning games by one score (with the exception of this past week), and having a blast doing it are exactly why they’ve been playing at a high level since 1974. 

Current Lurking Team To Watch Out For: The Malones. The schedule did me a favor this week because The Malones have only played two games, thus they’re still in the “middle” of the pack and I can use them for this example. They’re averaging 51 points a game, and they’re still bitter about not winning the championship last season. They might sit behind the Whales, Wanderers, and Practice Squad right now, but they're coming. 

Probably Bad: While D3 is the epitome of “any team can win it” as we know, we get to ask this question now: Topper or Joe K? Both teams (TAST and Bullet Club) are 0-3. When you compare the two, Bullet Club scores about 11 more points per game on average, but they also allow about 9 more points per game too. Neither team is having the season they envisioned to start, but at least BC is scoring more, so we’ll go with TAST, barely. 

Top Storyline: The Return of Topper is obviously the storyline of the year. 

This Week’s Games:

Wanderers vs Bullet Club (+7) - These two have had some great games since the Wanderers came over to the big leagues, but right now the Wanderers seem to be a bit more stable than Bullet Club at this point. WANDERERS BY 7

The Malones vs Keller Whales (EVEN) - Well, let’s see if I’m right about The Malones. It’ll be interesting to see if they can continue their hot streak against the Kellers, who have looked better than good this season so far. Hopefully the week off didn’t cause them to lose a step, because against The Malones, you’ll need it. THE MALONES BY 3

Jabronies vs Topper’s All Stars & Todd (EVEN) - The Jabronies keep games close which is just how Topper and company like it. It’s weird to say that a team that’s played together for 40 years is “still coming together” but when you take a few sessions off, it takes a minute to get that mojo back. We’re all going to assume that Topper will man Klecker and take him out of the game, which should have Joe Miano worried. TOPPER’S ALL STARS & TODD BY 3

Practice Squad vs Let’s Get Reccked (EVEN) - It’s hard to pick a game when one of them looks significantly better on paper, but then they apparently never show up in full force? Practice Squad has looked like the move back down to D3 was the right call, and B looks like he has something to prove which is always dangerous. Add into the fact that it’ll be a late game (3:00) and I’m not sure LGR will be fully up for this one. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 8

D4:

Last Week’s Games:

Tater Tots 38, Cobblestone 25

ILF 48, PWI 47

Cunning Stunts 34, ILF 14

Cunning Stunts 43, PWI 20

Creekers 35, Reset Warriors 8

Vaspian 28, The Roaring 20s 26

Well, the three way dance between the Stunts, PWI, and ILF showed us what we needed to know. The Stunts are the top team, going 2-0, while ILF squeaked out a 1 point win over PWI in a fun one. The Tots dismantled Cobblestone as they stayed hot (Hot Tots!)The Creekers continue their winning ways over the Reset Warriors, and Vaspian sneaks out a win over the very game TR20s. 

Probably Good: Cunning Stunts. Because of course. The girls are always the top team in D4, but really do a good job of blowing it in the playoffs. They asserted their dominance over other contenders already, and they’ve played a much tougher schedule than the Tots so far. 

Current Lurking Team To Watch Out For: Reset Warriors. I know that seems silly since they just got dunked on by the Creekers, but that feels almost like an anomaly more than anything. They beat Vaspian a week ago, and they also kept up with the Stunts better than ILF or PWI did. We know they have some talented players on the roster as well, so they can’t be slept on. 

Probably Bad: Cobblestone (besides Darryl). For the most up and down franchise in league history, this feels like a down year. Cobblestone is at its best when people are showing up and they’re more focused, and right now they’re playing games with 5 people, and they’re coming across a bit scattered. It could change, but we’ll see. 

Top Storyline: The rise of the new teams in D4. Creekers look awesome. Reset Warriors are hanging in there as a new team. The Roaring 20s are competitive. The Tater Tots are running the division currently. 

This Week’s Games:

Tater Tots vs Passing While Intoxicated (EVEN) - Perhaps the oddsmakers are giving PWI too much credit, and they forget that Colorado Mike plays on this team. To say that this game is even feels crazy, given the paths these teams have been on. On top of it, I was given a report from league management to shout out the return of Rob Rummings (better known as Drunk Meg’s Brother OR “one of the tall guys from when TMA was good) who’s coming out of retirement on his birthday to play here. I think we’ll be seeing a fun game here, and we’ll see if the Tots are anywhere near as good as they’ve looked this season. TATER TOTS BY 3

Passing While Intoxicated vs Reset Warriors (+4) - PWI gets a doubleheader again this week, and now they get to play against a very spry Reset Warriors team that should be looking at this matchup as a measuring stick for if they’ve got what it takes or not in D4. I think RW will be ready for this one, but I can’t imagine PWI going 0-2 again and sitting at 1-4 either. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 10

Tater Tots vs Interdimensional Lighting Falcons (EVEN) - The Tots get a doubleheader against the two teams that the other undefeated team (the Stunts) got last week. ILF hasn’t been consistent yet, beating up on a brand new team (TR20), sneaking by PWI, and getting smacked around by both the Stunts and the Creekers. They need to figure out who they are, and fast. I think the Tots are going to show them. TATER TOTS BY 7

Cunning Stunts vs The Roaring 20s (+16) - It’s not your fault, TR20. Playing a gender team is always a bit of a learning experience for new teams, and now you’re getting one of the best versions of a long standing TSL franchise. This might be a bit hard to watch if you’re squeamish. CUNNING STUNTS BY 20

Creekers vs Vaspian (+6) - Vaspian always confuses me in that I’m never completely sure what we’re going to get with them. And it’s been that way for years. They have good players, and some weeks they look great, others? Not so great. I’m not entirely sure it’ll matter which version shows up here, because the Creekers have been fantastic lately. They continue the run they’ve been on here. CREEKERS BY 10

D5:

Last Week’s Games:

Come From Behind 42, TMA 28

Not So Sticky 31, Stir The Sauce 30

Quite the slow week in D5 news as we only had two games last week. Come From Behind had to go with 3 guys, 3 girls, and no Paul but still managed to get a win over TMA, while Not So Sticky snuck by Stir The Sauce. 

Probably Good: GUCCI. I don’t want to give THK the credit since they dropped a division, and GUCCI has been one of D5’s best teams since they showed up at the Rose Garden not too long ago. Spoiler alert: they still are. 

Current Lurking Team To Watch Out For: Come From Behind is the obvious answer here, as they sit at 1-2 and have allowed the most points in the division. But, they haven’t had their full team just yet, and future TSL Hall of Famer Paul LoVullo hasn’t been there to throw TDs for them yet either. Don’t be surprised when they end up 5-3 and in the championship. 

Probably Bad: TMA. It’s hard to pick the Two Tuddies here since they just moved up, so we’ll go with TMA who isn’t having the best start to the season, and multiple players from the team are already showing signs of frustration. It’s understandable, as TMA has had incredible amounts of roster turnover from “the good ol’ days”, and they’re still finding their way in the “new era”. 

Top Storyline: John Langley gets scared of competition, drops down to D5, and starts dropping points on everyone. Becomes betting favorite for “most hated villain” in the TSL. 

This Week’s Games:

GUCCI vs TMA (+7) - Despite the rough waters TMA has sailed lately, we can’t forget that they dominated GUCCI in the first round of the playoffs last spring, and upset them as the #8 seed. Since TMA moved up to D4 last season, GUCCI never got a chance for revenge. Well, here’s that chance. GUCCI BY 12

GUCCI vs Power Puff Girls (+3) - The PPG gets the added benefit of negating the Kelly Kane factor for GUCCI, which in itself is a win. All TDs scored here should be 8 points, which puts these two teams on even ground (Remember guys, if you get an interception, step out at the 1!). PPG has some serious female firepower, and while scoring shouldn’t be an issue, it all comes down to how well the PPG defense fares. Currently, it hasn’t been that great. GUCCI BY 2

Come From Behind vs Power Puff Girls (+8) - Word around the campfire is that we’ll finally get CFB in their full form, which spells bad news for the ladies. CFB is good when they actually show up, and they tend to have the height advantage, which is usually the bane of any gender team’s existence. COME FROM BEHIND BY 10

Not So Sticky vs Two Tuddies (+7) - The second meeting of these two teams for this season (every team will play one other team twice in D5) comes early in the year, but that’s good for the Tud Buds. The Tuddies are 0-2, but they’ve lost by one score each time (by 8 to NSS and by 5 to TMA), so it’s not like they’re overmatched. A second game against NSS can only help the Tuddies, as they have a better idea of what to do against an opponent they’ve already played. NSS, however, has been playing some of the best football in team history, averaging 33 points for a game. They’re also allowing 33 points per game, so who knows what could happen here. TWO TUDDIES BY 2

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Stir The Sauce (+7) - THK returns to the fields with perhaps their toughest matchup to date. As much nonsense as they get tossed their way, THK hasn’t had a hard game yet, getting the underpowered CFB and the PPG in Week 1 (where yes, they have the height advantage). This will be the first “good” matchup THK should get this season, as STS has burst on to the scene and been pretty damn competitive racking up a win, and two close losses (by 2 to GUCCI and by 1 to NSS). They fit right into D5, and give it another title contender just like that. Wrestler Dan has the ability to cover Pistol Pete, so Langley may have to look elsewhere in this one. This might be the game of the day. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 3

D6:

Last Week’s Games:

Balls Deep 25, Pit Harade 6

Blitzkrieg 37, Sausage McMuffins 31

Blitzkrieg 55, Mighty Drunks 0

Sausage McMuffins 36, Sticky Laces 23

Just Joshing 20, Dogg Pound 15

Balls Deep stakes their claim to the D6 title as they take down Pit Harade rather easily. Blitzkrieg goes 2-0 on the day as they score 92 points in a display of domination. The McMuffins bounced back from the loss to BK to beat the Sticky Laces by 13. And Just Joshing gets their first win in league history, taking down the Dogg Pound. 

Probably Good: Balls Deep. They’re the only undefeated team in D6 at 3-0, they’ve only allowed 39 points total, and they’ve played pretty good competition in BTPU, Pit Harade, and Blitzkrieg. While getting to/leaving the fields have been a little dicey for them this season, what they’ve been doing while on them so far has been quite nice. 

Current Lurking Team To Watch Out For: Back That Pass Up. Last year’s doormat turned into championship participants continues to improve, and while they’ve only played 2 games so far this year, they’ve shown they’re much better than last year, scoring 50 points in a win over the Drunks, and they only lost to Balls Deep by 5 points. They’re the only team in D6 that isn’t brand new who aren’t getting any respect and it’s forming a chip on their shoulder. They’ve got something to prove to the rest of the division. 

Probably Bad: Dogg Pound. You figured it’d have been the team that lost last week’s JJ-DP matchup, and here we are. It’s okay, Dogg Pound. You’re a brand new team, and from what I’ve been told you’re athletic, the girls might be better than the guys, and there’s tons of potential there. But someone had to be here, and it’s kind of hard not to pick the 0-3 team that’s only scored 39 points, but has allowed 89. I’m sure you understand. 

Top Storyline: Blitzkrieg is looking on fire, Sausage McMuffins switched their cool jerseys, any one of the top 6 teams could take the championship. There’s a lot going on in D6. 

This Week’s Games:

Balls Deep vs Mighty Drunks (+10) - Balls Deep isn’t here to score a ton of points, but they’re here to stop you from scoring. The BD Defense has been great (only 13 points allowed per game) and now they’re taking on the TSL most Bi-Polar team in the Mighty Drunks where you never know what you’re going to get. Even if we get the Drunks that can score, their defense has been pretty brutal this year. As long as Balls Deep makes a couple of plays on D, they should be fine. BALLS DEEP BY 9

Blitzkrieg vs Just Joshing (+14) - In a game of Red team vs Red team (this is your hint for one of you to bring a different color), these two teams couldn’t be further apart on the spectrum. Blitzkrieg is a storied franchise in the TSL, and they’re putting the hurt on just about everyone they’ve gone up against this season. Just Joshing is the newest TSL franchise who just got their first win. At the end of the day, Blitzkrieg has scored more points in a single game twice (37 and 55) than JJ has all season (32). Just Joshing might be in for a long day at the office this week. BLITZKRIEG BY 17

Sausage McMuffins vs Back That Pass Up (+6) - Okay BTPU. If you’re truly going to be a contender who deserves respect in D6, this is your time to shine. The Sausage McMuffins are one of the top teams in D6, and if they walk away with an easy 20+ points victory here, perhaps the BTPU hype was just smoke. A win here properly elevates them to where they want to be though. I think they get it. BACK THAT PASS UP BY 8

Pit Harade vs Sticky Laces (+7) - Sticky Laces hasn’t looked out of place in the TSL through two games, and even at 0-2, they hung with Blitzkrieg and the McMuffins for a bit. Now they get Pit Harade, who even at 2-1 have only scored 42 points so far. They’ve only allowed 47 though, and their defense has been a big reason why they’re not 0-3. This game might be closer than expected, but I think PH figures out a way to do it. PIT HARADE BY 7

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

• Which currently undefeated team do you think is more smoke and mirrors than anything? That’s a tough question because you still have to do a lot right to win games in the TSL. Right now, I’d say the Tater Tots are a bit of a “paper tiger” when compared to the other teams, mainly because they’ve played Cobblestone and TR20s already. The big win over Creekers Week 1 is the only thing making me question this. We’ll see this week. 

• What currently winless team do you think has just had some bad luck and is much better than their record shows? Puckett All-Stars in D2 is the easy answer here. The view on them, to the common TSLer, would be “oh this team jumped to D2 from D4 and now they’re 0-4? Not surprised.” and I understand why they’d think that way. However a 4 point loss to the Mavericks and a 2 point loss to Scared Hitless (the two undefeated D2 teams) show that they’re right in the mix. Yeah, they lost by 13 to the UT (the defending D2 champions) and they lost by 10 to the Freeballers (without some key players I was told?), and it all adds up to some bad luck here and there. There’s a world where they’re 3-1 or 2-2 for sure. 

• What current #1 seeds do you think will go the distance and stay in 1st the rest of the season? I believe the Mavericks SLIGHTLY have the best chance at doing so. D3, D4, D5, and D6 are too wild so I can’t see any of those teams stay on top all season long. And you have to consider Sticky Bandits, because they’ve currently got a 2 win lead with 5 games to play. Obviously going 2-0 this week would cement that, but a loss to either Eyes Downtown or Frodo will put that in jeopardy. 

• Will any team go undefeated this season? Will any team go winless? I’m going to find it pretty hard to find a team that will go undefeated this year. D1 is too competitive, so you’ll assume Sticky will lose along the way. D2 saw the Mavericks nearly lose last week (they tied) and I cant see Scared Hitless going 8-0, especially with D1 crossover games this season. In D3, if you told me the winner of Malones - Wanderers in the last week of the season was a battle between two 7-0 teams, I wouldn’t be surprised. I think they’re slightly better than the Keller Whales. D4 has the Tots (who I just said might be a little ‘smoke and mirrors’) and the Stunts, who COULD go 8-0, but they always find a random week to lose a game every season. D5 could have a matchup of GUCCI and THK in a couple of weeks be between two undefeated teams, and the winner would have a shot. And while Balls Deep is the only undefeated team in D6, they’ve won close games, which means they’ll probably fall on the losing side of things at least once this year. I’ll say yes then, and I think that team is in D3. As for winless teams? I still believe CTT, Puckett, Bullet Club, Topper, Tuddies, and Sticky Laces will all get a win at some point. Cobblestone usually gets it together for a couple of wins even in a ‘down’ year. So the only real candidate is the Dogg Pound, but if they figure things out in the second half of the season, they can easily sneak out a win. So I’ll say no, and every team will get at least one win along the way. 

• When’s the wine tournament? Don’t we usually hear about that by now? I’m glad you asked! The wine tournament is set for August 3rd! What is the wine tournament? Well, it’s an all day TSL extravaganza where we meet up at Black Willow Winery early in the morning, and 16 teams play in 4 different divisions while drinking wine, wine slushies, sometimes being whisked away by Topper to do chocolate pairings, there’s a band, and it's just a whole lot of fun. Spots fill up pretty fast, so once sign ups are activated, get yours asap! 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

• It’s looking like the Buffalo weather is 72 and sunny this weekend, so wear your sunscreen and prepare accordingly with staying hydrated. 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• Dri’s Company 37, D’s Nutz 24

• Mistymeanors 31, Breakfast Club (Trish’s Version) 30

• Steph Infection 38, Jeneva Conventions 28

• Games of the Week:

• 10:00 - Bullet Club vs Wanderers

• 11:00 - Keller Whales vs The Malones

• 12:00 - Back That Pass Up vs Sausage McMuffins

• 1:00 - ILF vs Tater Tots

• 2:00 - Mavericks vs Scared Hitless

• 3:00 - Stir The Sauce vs Travis Henry’s Kids

• If you see B’s brother at the bar, you better buy him a Crown Apple and Coke.

• As always, if you want to be a guest on the TSL podcast, just reach out to Joe K, Jeff Krol, Trish, Becca, Topper, Garrett, Cookie, or Elmo. 

• Shoutout to the Breakfast Club captains who have been making bets this season, you love to see that stuff, it makes everything more fun. 

• Please try to show up 10 minutes before your game starts so the league doesn’t have to get fields behind because little Johnny or Susie isn’t at the game yet. You’ll start shorthanded. 

• “Why Don’t You Talk About My Team More?” - because I don’t know who you are! I write about this league from my log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa and unless you email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and tell me stuff about your team, I won’t know anything about them (unless one of my spies tell me about them). 

• Apparently there’s a lot more dogs at the fields nowadays, and that can only be considered a good thing. 

• Pick up your trash! Your cans, your bottles, your buckets, your food baskets, and whatever else you guys bring to the fields from the bar shouldn’t be left all over the fields and the ground. Don’t leave everything a mess, and shoutout to the people who take the time to pick up after the games are over! 

Week 4 is here, I can’t believe it’s been a month already. Good luck. 

-GF OUT

WEEK 2 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 03 May 2024 12:54

Published: Friday, 03 May 2024 12:54

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 422

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality has begun, and what a return it has been so far! In just one week so far, we’ve seen some thrilling action (hey there Wanderers and Let’s Get Reccked!), the return of Topper (complete with ‘Hey, he really CAN still do this’ status), old faces picking up right where they left off (Stir The Sauce, formerly Woodpeckers, returning and immediately showing they’re contenders in D5), new faces picking up their first wins (The Roaring 20s walking into the Rose Garden and beating absolute legend Darryl Carr QB Superstar), teams getting new jerseys that are complete downgrades from the ones they had before (ILF), teams completely vanishing into the night like Batman (the Dark Knights, who just disappeared completely), and of course the desire to win so badly bubbling over into chaos (Eyes Downtown vs Eyes Uptown turning into a ‘Royal Rumble’ of sorts, as the rivalry reaches new heights).

And this was just Week 1. 

Yes folks, after a week where ‘The Monarch’ Jeff Krol truly understood not only why Topper pulled out all of his hair, but also why he drinks a lot of wine, we’re just getting started! Week 1 was fun in lots of ways, and things only get better from here as the weather improves (allegedly anyway, as rain is in the forecast, but hey, it’ll be 70 degrees for you there in Buffalo. It’s a start. It won’t be better here in Iowa.) and Breakfast Club makes its glorious return this week! 

Now, for those of you who are new to the league, “Breakfast Club” is the often imitated, yet never duplicated, draft league where you sign up, get a cool jersey, and you get drafted to one of our 6 teams who are captained by 6 of the league’s more recognizable females. This season, we have Steph, Jenna, Misty, and Trish as returning captains, and we have two new females in Dorene and Dri Lozier captaining for the first time. It’s the best way for people to meet new people in the league, get on a team, and really get the ‘fun’ aspect of what this league is all about. Also, the teams usually have mimosas right after their games, which is a bonus aspect of BC. It’s a way for you to get a second game in your day if you want to play more than just once a week as well! 

And let me remind everyone of the insane amount of “TSL” content you get every week during the season. The Sentinel returns for a weekly article to speak on what they’ve seen on Monday, The TSL Podcast with Joe K, Becca, Trish, Jeff Krol, Garrett, Topper, and whoever else is a ‘Regular’ plus whatever guests they invite is an hour (or so) long podcast that recaps games, talks about league happenings, and lots of other nonsense and fun that comes out on Tuesday/Wednesday usually, leading into The Power Rankings article that the TSL QB Power Rankings Committee writes together that comes out on Thursdays. Finally, you get my article here on Fridays, which pretty much means every day of your life during the football season can have something new about the TSL in it. And that’s not all without mentioning “The Roost”, which is another podcast done by Andrew and Jason of ILF where they also talk about the league and maybe touch on some more funny and ridiculous things they come up with along the way. 

The point is, there’s a LOT of awesome things about the TSL for players new and old to like and consume throughout the week. If you’d like to ever be a part of any of these things, you’re more than welcome to be! You can meet up with Jeff Krol, Topper, Joe K, Bs Brother, Cookie Monster, Trish, Becca, Andrew, at the fields and let them know you’re interested, or again, you can continue to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and I’ll personally point you to the right people to talk to. Sure, winning a championship and gaining Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is fun, but it’s not everything (despite what some people seem to think). It’s all about the fun and having a good time with the TSL family. 

GOOD NOT BAD

• Mighty Drunks - Special shoutout to the Drunks who not only won their matchup with Just Joshing 25-6, but they were also cool enough to stick around to scrimmage the Sausage McMuffins, who were without an opponent when the Dark Knights no showed. 

• Wanderers - I’m pretty sure every season starts with the Wanderers not only playing a double header, but they do it in the rain. They went 2-0 this time, with big wins over Let’s Get Reccked and Buffalo Vice. Is this the year for them to take D3? Sure seems like it.

• Stir The Sauce - As I kind of mentioned earlier, STS showed up and showed out in D5, shutting out TMA, and then going on to give GUCCI a heck of a game before losing 26-24. They look to be contenders for the D5 title already after one week. 

BAD NOT GOOD

• Anyone with ‘Eyes’ - You’re not allowed to complain that D1 doesn’t have enough teams when you decide to do all of the nonsense that took place last weekend. YOU are the reason people don’t want to play in D1, so maybe dial it back a little and represent the league in the right way. 

• Dark Knights - Signing up for the league, then proceeding to not show up for your team, block the league when they contact you to see what’s going on, and having Jeff revamp the entire D6 schedule is pretty lame. Adios. 

• B’s Brother - Word got back to me pretty quickly that B’s Brother wasn’t there at the fields to kick things off, which is probably why it rained and why things went off the rails in some places. Get it together Jeffrey. We’re counting on you. 

Okay, let’s get on to the games!!

D1

Last Week’s Scores:

Sticky Bandits 25, Frodo Swaggins 21

Eyes Downtown 43, Eyes Uptown 34

Four teams means two games in D1. While the ED v EU matchup was quite the battle it seems, we did see Eyes Downtown move to 1-0 with their victory in a game that really, nobody won or should be happy with. However, Sticky outlasted Frodo in a heck of a game that showed Frodo continues to get better and can hang with the other D1 teams. They’re closer to making some noise than you think. 

This Week’s Games:

Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits (+7) - Sticky’s quest for a D1 title gets a litmus test early in the season, as they take on the defending champs. Eyes Downtown can be quite the well-oiled machine, but Sticky has been together forever. Both teams seamlessly integrate new players, and this is going to be a good one. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 3

D2

Last Week’s Games:

Scared Hitless 38, Can’t Touch This 36

Mavericks 32, Freeballers 14

Mavericks 44, Puckett All-Stars 38

We only had three games in D2, but we learned a LOT this past week. The biggest thing we learned? This is going to be a hell of a battle to win the division. The Mavericks came out 2-0, looking quite polished. They easily dispatched of the Freeballers, and then they had themselves quite the barnburner with Puckett. Puckett’s new players (and their old ones too!) really showed up and announced to the division to look out for them. Meanwhile, Scared Hitless and Can’t Touch This played a classic game of their own, as both showed that they’re going to be in the mix for the title as well. Oh, and we haven’t even SEEN the Untouchaballs play yet. 

This Week’s Games: 

Can’t Touch This vs Freeballers (+7) - The Freeballers might be the only team that might be on the “outside looking in” for the D2 championship. A 32-14 loss wasn’t the start they envisioned, but that could’ve just been the rain and new players figuring things out. They get a chance to rest the line of thinking on them with a game against CTT, who couldn’t quite pull out a win over Scared Hitless last week. CTT has been good in D2 since they arrived, never looking overmatched or anything. A ‘statement’ win over the Freeballers cements them as being on the level of the Mavericks/Untouchaballs. CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 10

Mavericks vs The Untouchaballs (EVEN) - UT returns to the fields this week, as the Jeremy Burr-led D2 champs get an early test against a Mavericks team that has their sights set on knocking them off. The Mavericks are even better than they were last year, when they felt just a step behind a few of the other D2 teams. Meanwhile, even though UT brings back just about everyone, they did lose Melanie Linsmair, which of course is going to make things a bit more difficult for the defending champs. I believe in Burr. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 2

Puckett All-Stars vs Scared Hitless (EVEN) - Another great matchup in D2, as the long time “really good D2 team” Scared Hitless gets to take on the “oh, i didn’t expect these guys to be THIS good already in D2” Puckett All-Stars. I don’t think defense is going to be the name of the game here, and we may see a 44-40 type situation here (Which can only mean this game will end up 14-6). Give me the experienced team. SCARED HITLESS BY 7

The Untouchaballs vs Puckett All-Stars (+3) - Puckett gets to take on the defending champs in a very interesting matchup that is so good, they get the TSL Prime Time Game of the Week, being the only 3:00 game. Upset time? PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 4

D3

Last Week’s Games:

Wanderers 34, Buffalo Vice 32

Practice Squad 14, Topper All Stars & Todd 12

Keller Whales 36, Buffalo Vice 24

Wanderers 36, Let’s Get Reccked 32

Keller Whales 30, Practice Squad 12

Let’s Get Reccked 33, Bullet Club 20

We had lots of D3 games in Week 1, as FIVE of the division’s 9 teams had doubleheaders already. For the most part, all of the games were pretty close, except that the Keller Whales started 2-0 and dispatched both of their opponents pretty easily, winning by 12 and 18 points respectively. The Wanderers also went 2-0, winning by 2 over Vice and 4 over LGR, who went on to beat Bullet Club by 13. Practice Squad spoiled the return of Topper, sneaking out a 2 point win as they also returned to D3. 

This Week’s Games:

The Malones vs Bullet Club (+6) - The Malones had a week off to start the season, and they’re getting a Bullet Club team that looked slightly off last week as they adjust to new QB Dylan Jaloza. I believe The Malones are returning just about everyone from last season, which means they’ll be ready to dominate the way they did a season ago once they found their footing. THE MALONES BY 9

Jabronies vs Practice Squad (EVEN) - Practice Squad already has two games under their belts and one of those games was a win over a returning team. They find themselves in the same situation this week, getting the Jabronies in their return to the fields. While the Jabronies are talented, PS has a slight advantage in already playing this season, and that may make all the difference. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 2

Buffalo Vice vs Topper All-Stars & Todd (+7) - Buffalo Vice may have gone 0-2 last week, but they showed they can hang with the top teams in the division. They’re quite talented, as we know, and their girls are arguably the best in the division top to bottom. TAST (do we go with TASTY here?) struggled to put up points last week, but their defense was up to the challenge. I expect the offense to perform better this week. TOPPER ALL-STARS & TODD BY 6

Let’s Get Reccked vs Keller Whales (EVEN) - If the Keller Whales came out of Week 1 looking like the top team in D3, LGR isn’t very far behind (and the Wanderers are sandwiched in between them). The TSL Rankings #1 overall team after Week 1 had next to no issues as Damien Keller continues to channel Scott Senior in being an athletic marvel who can do anything. He’s going to have a hell of a test against LGR’s defense though, and this may come down to who blinks first. LETS GET RECCKED BY 2

D4

Last Week’s Games:

Tater Tots 48, Creekers 22

ILF 42, The Roaring 20s 18

Cunning Stunts 42, Reset Warriors 34

The Roaring 20s 32, Cobblestone 20

The Tater Tots look every bit of a contender now that B is throwing for them, and the move to D4 seems to be the right one after Week 1 after they picked apart the defending D5 champs in the Creekers. ILF welcomed The Roaring 20s to the TSL, handing them a 24 point loss before The 20s would go on to win against Cobblestone later on. And while the Cunning Stunts won (which always seems to happen), the Reset Warriors stuck with them in their first game, which bodes well for the future. 

This Week’s Games:

Passing While Intoxicated vs Cobblestone (+6) - PWI makes their return to the fields after a Week 1 bye looking to get right back in the win column. This team has been consistently good for quite a few seasons now, and they’re looking to take another step forward. After Cobblestone’s loss last week, they may be ripe for the picking. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 7

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Creekers (+10) - The Creekers look to be going through some growing pains in D4, and getting a cohesive unit like ILF isn’t going to help them with that much for Week 2. ILF looked like they were in midseason form last week, and while they definitely have some fun out there, there’s this vibe that they’re more focused on a championship than ever. ILF would be a fun team to have in D3, maybe we’ll get there. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 17

Tater Tots vs The Roaring 20s (+7) - The Tots looked great last week, there’s no doubt about it. It’ll be hard for them to not continue that this week against TR20, who looked competent to good in their debut last week, but it’s hard to imagine B doesn’t pick them apart and puts up 50 again. You hear that B? You have a goal. 50 points. Show me what you’ve got. TATER TOTS BY 10. 

Vaspian vs Reset Warriors (+4) - Vaspian drops down a division from D3, but it feels like the right move for them as their roster isn’t quite the same as it used to be. We haven’t seen them play just yet, but they do have a lot of veteran talent on the squad. Reset Warriors had a good showing in a loss against the Stunts, but I’ll need more of a sample size from them before really knowing how I feel about them. VASPIAN BY 2

D5

Last Week’s Games: 

Stir The Sauce 28, TMA 0

Not So Sticky 31, Two Tuddies 23

GUCCI 26, Stir The Sauce 24

Travis Henry’s Kids 43, PowerPuff Girls 16

As widely reported in this article already, Stir The Sauce had themselves a nice Week 1, going 1-1 but looking like they’ll be a problem for everyone in D5. TMA got shutout in the rain, as they enter another season of roster turnover and figuring things out again. Not So Sticky took a win over the Tud Buds, in what was a fun contest. The Tuddies look like they’ll be alright in D5. GUCCI got a win, as they do, and THK put up a lot of points in a win over the PPGs, as Langley shines in a lower division, as he runs away from tougher competition as usual. 

This Week’s Games:

Two Tuddies vs TMA (EVEN) - I won’t say both of these teams need a win just yet, because it’s really early in the season, but it almost feels that way. On the one hand, you have a TMA squad that had a rough season last year, went down a division, and then promptly got shut out in Week 1. The Tud Buds lost to Not So Sticky last week (who weren’t exactly ‘great’ in D5 last season) and now they get a discombobulated (someone please explain to Colorado Mike what this ‘big word’ means) TMA squad who is on the ropes. If they can’t beat TMA in this state, who in D5 CAN they beat? Both teams need that “get the monkey off their back” type of win that this game represents. TMA BY 1

Not So Sticky vs PowerPuff Girls (+8) - NSS gets a really fun game against the ladies who are still figuring it out. I say that weekly, but it remains true. For what NSS might lack in pure athletic talent overall, they make up for in things like “knowing football very very well”. Look for NSS to exploit the weaknesses in the PPG defense. NOT SO STICKY BY 8

Come From Behind vs Travis Henry’s Kids (EVEN) - Perhaps the strongest combined QB arm matchup we’ll see this season, CFB joins us after a week off to start the season against a very good THK squad. Paul and Langley should both have fastballs dialed up as these two teams could put on quite the show. This is lowkey a potential championship game preview. COME FROM BEHIND BY 3

GUCCI vs Come From Behind (+3) - These two teams have been battling it out for a few seasons now, and we’ve gotten some absolutely quality games from them. I expect this one to be no different. GUCCI BY 2

D6

Last Week’s Games:

Balls Deep 22, Back That Pass Up 17

Blitzkrieg 29, Sticky Laces 20

Pit Harade 21, Dogg Pound 16

Mighty Drunks 25, Just Joshing 6

Sausage McMuffins 21, Dark Knights 0 (Forfeit)

Balls Deep and Back That Pass Up picked up where they left off in the regular season last year, with Balls Deep winning and BTPU not winning. However, I feel like if we played this game 9 more times, you’d see a 5-5 record for both teams. New teams had a rough start as  Blitzkrieg started off the season right with a victory over the new Sticky Laces, Pit Harade got a win over the brand spankin’ new Dogg Pound, while the Mighty Drunks did the same over Just Joshing. And then the McMuffins got a forfeit win over the Dark Knights to start off 1-0. 

This Week’s Games:

Blitzkrieg vs Balls Deep (+6) - BK started off the season right, looking sharp for the most part in their win over Sticky Laces. Spring BK tends to feel a lot more dominant, and I think this game is going to be telling on how the D6 season is going to go overall. Balls Deep has made it a habit over the last few seasons of beating the “on paper” title contenders, and it seems like they really get up for games like this. What would a Blitzkrieg season be without a little up and down play? BALLS DEEP BY 8

Mighty Drunks vs Back That Pass Up (+7) - The Drunks showed up last week in an easy Week 1 win, but the question with them always remains: Which version of this team is going to show up? Some weeks they look unstoppable, and others they’ve looked like they’re headed for D7. BTPU is still trending upwards from last year, despite the Week 1 loss. They’ll give the Drunks a game for sure. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 2

Pit Harade vs Just Joshing (+8) - Pit Harade and QB Dave Walter get a brand new team for a second week in a row. PH seemed to need to shake off some rust from last season, but they should be in the D6 title mix, especially with Tall Bearded Guy, Little Fast Guy, and Ray on the roster. JJ didn’t have the best of days a week ago, and they may not love things this week either. PIT HARADE BY 12

Sausage McMuffins vs Dogg Pound (+10) - The McMuffins get to see what the Dogg Pound is all about, provided they show up to play. Maybe teams are just that scared of the McMuffins that they’d rather not show up than get embarrassed? Either way, I’m pretty sure the Dogg Pound will be there, as they continue to figure out the TSL game. I’m sure Alex is going to have his troops ready to “win a real game” this week. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 14

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

• So what happens now that the Dark Knights are out of the league? Well, the league already changed the D6 schedule around to erase any semblance of DK even being a part of the league for a second. Sorry to the McMuffins for getting a preseason game essentially? Everyone makes the playoffs, so it doesn’t fully matter anyway. 

• Would games ever get rained out? This is for all of the new players we have in the league. Games can (and have!) gotten rained out before. Playing too many games in the rain will destroy the fields, and we don’t play when there’s lightning either. You should be following the TSL on Topper’s Super Kool Telegram app for the fastest updates, or at the very least follow the TSL Facebook page that can get you updates as well. As for rescheduling games? That may be tougher with only having 4 fields this season, so it’s to be determined. 

• Do we have bar specials again this season? I’ve yet to be told of any drink specials from Jeff, but I was informed that they had a special football food menu up that included the always popular breakfast sandwich, but a breakfast burrito, chicken wing dip, and some other items as well. Hopefully the Rose Garden will bring down the price of a bucket of High Noons for you all next. 

• What was the biggest overreaction from Week 1? That Topper was going to come back and set the league on fire. 

• Who is currently leading the “Best New Team” Power Rankings? While the full rankings aren’t fully figured out yet (it’s almost like we should have a power rankings committee that does this stuff), I think it’s safe to say that the Dogg Pound is #1 right now. I know you’re saying “But they lost? HOW?”, and I’ll just casually remind you that while they lost, they played well, AND they showed up at the bar and hung out a bunch. I was told a “good chunk, if not all of them” stayed after their game and had a few drinks. That’s like 75% of this league, don’t forget. Shout out to them. 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE SATURDAY

• Breakfast Club is back, and my predictions for this season just based off the rosters is that Steph Infection beats Breakfast Club (Trish’s Version) in the finals. 

• Breakfast Club Game Predictions:

• Breakfast Club (Trish’s Version) 37, D’s Nuts 30

• Steph Infection 40, Dri’s Company 27

• Mistymeanors 28, Jeneva Conventions 20

• Games of the Week: 

• 10:00 - Balls Deep vs Blitzkrieg

• 11:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Topper All Stars & Todd

• 12:00 - Keller Whales vs Let’s Get Reccked

• 1:00 - Mavericks vs The Untouchaballs

• 2:00 - Come From Behind vs GUCCI

• 3:00 - Puckett All-Stars vs The Untouchaballs

• IF YOU HAVEN’T SIGNED THE WAIVER PLEASE DO SO ASAP! LET’S GO. CLICK HERE AND DO IT: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1NqaQgYi1a2Sr-vlV_Nab-G7gIJhM3fE0O_xWzK0s5P0/edit

• Three teams trending up: Puckett All-Stars, Tater Tots, Buffalo Vice

• Three teams trending down: Cobblestone, Creekers, Two Tuddies

• Lots of teams have similar colors, so do yourselves a favor and always bring a backup color. If you wear dark (Black, navy blue, etc) just have everyone bring a white shirt, and if you wear light (white, light blue, etc), just bring a black shirt. Make things easier on everyone!

• Remember, the refs are there to help the league run smoothly, and they’re doing their best to keep things in order. There will be missed calls and mistakes. Don’t lose your mind on them because of it. Keep a cool head. 

• If you want me to write more about your team or who is good on the squad, etc etc, the best way to do it is to, again, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and tell me what's what. 

• Shout out to all of the TSLers in the last few months that are getting married, have gotten married, gotten pregnant, or have had a baby! It’s always awesome to see the good things happening in our little TSL family here. Congrats to everyone! 

And with that, Week 2 is upon us. Stay safe, and please, try not to fight. 

-GF OUT

WEEK 3 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 10 May 2024 13:53

Published: Friday, 10 May 2024 13:53

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 361

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, welcome to Week 3 of the Spring 2024 season! Week 3 is important for a few reasons. First off, if you’re reading this and you DIDN’T sign a waiver, go do that right now or else you’re getting banned from the league for this season. And if you’re a team captain with an empty roster spot or two? Now’s the time to fill it. So what are you waiting for? (This opening paragraph of The Godfather may or may not have been sponsored by Jeff Krol, who kindly sent a bottle of my favorite scotch to me here in Des Moines, Iowa as a thank you for doing the article.) GO SIGN THE WAIVER. 

But league business aside, Week 3 is important because it's the first week of the season that we really get to see the beginnings of who’s a contender and who’s a pretender. At this point, teams have had two weeks to work out the early season kinks and shake off any rust that may have accumulated over the winter (unless of course you either played in the winter session, played in the minor leagues for winter, were still doing “two-a-days” with Bobby to stay in top shape, or a mix of some/all of the above) and they don’t have as many “outside” factors to use as excuses like “the weather” or “we didn’t have our full team yet!”. 

Of course, these guidelines still only apply to MOST of the TSL. There are always teams that after this week will look like absolute superstars where the road to the division championship is DEFINITELY going through them. And what happens? They lose a game here or there, end up a 3 seed in the playoffs, and get bounced by the 6 seed, who are better known right now as the “what is UP with that team and why are they 0-3??” who figures it out, gets hot, and makes noise in the playoffs. 

And that’s always been the beauty of this league. Your season is never really over. I point to the Practice Squad in D3 a few seasons ago: 0-8, 8th seed going into the playoffs. BOOM. Champions. And I’ll rip off an interesting stat I read in the TSL Power Rankings this week: last year Can’t Touch This was 6-0 and looking unstoppable. They’ve since been stopped, and are now 0-6 since then in TSL play. The biggest of yikes. 

While most of the veteran TSL players know all about this, we have so many new teams out there that I don’t want them to get frustrated as things don’t QUITE go their way throughout the season. The TSL 6 on 6 game is unique, and it takes a minute or two to really understand the ins and outs of strategy (and the rulebook). It’s just part of the process. 

GOOD NOT BAD

• Teams with “B” as their QB - Remember when Mayhem split up and B was just the ref on the sidelines who used to tell anyone who would listen that he used to be a good QB and someone just needed to give him a chance? And teams just wouldn’t? Then Practice Squad did, and they rattled off a bunch of championships? Now the Tater Tots have followed suit this season and are the toast of D4. B’s teams this season are a combined 4-1 already this season and he averages 32.8 points per game. He’s on a pace that, if we ever had a Summer Banquet, he’d be in line to win D3 and D4 QB of the year. He’d still finish about 5th in Ref of the Year votes though. Added bonus: He comes with league legend and one of the FOUR TSL Hall of Famers we have, B’s Brother. (The other 3, of course, are Lenny, Rameer, and Cookie Monster). 

• Mavericks - Don’t care. They’re scoring TONS of points, they have the look of a team that’s just on their way to a D2 title, provided that defense doesn’t do them in again. They’re scoring 46 points a game, but still allowing 27.3, which isn’t exactly the best. Can Mike Burke write an article for the website? Something like “Nice Guy’s Notes”? The vibes off this team are so good I can feel them in Iowa. 

• The Bird is the Word - Easily the MVP of Week 2, the super aggressive ‘get away from my eggs’ bird weaseled its way into the hearts of TSLers everywhere. 

• Ben Stack - “HOW COULD HE BE GOOD WHEN HE WAS BAD?!?” and “Isn’t he suspended?” are the most common internal responses TSLers will get when they read this. But, when your team supports you enough to make “Free Ben” shirts (which I got many pictures and emails about), that has to improve your stock a bit. Unlike. . . .

BAD NOT GOOD

• Blase - Intentional or not, there weren’t any “Free Blase” shirts being trotted out onto the fields last week. If I’m Blase, I’m a bit bitter about it internally. Rushers have feelings too! Did he ever pay Jeff for that cut out he destroyed at the banquet? 

• Can’t Touch This - 0-6 in their last 6. Not really sure what’s going on with them lately, but it seems like they need to figure things out, and soon. 

• Let’s Get Reccked - They’re 1-2, but the roster looks like it could compete in D1, according to their opponents. If that’s the case, they should probably be 3-0, but maybe that’s just me? Do better. I can only assume Dave Baker is letting them down somehow, but he’s also 62 years old. 

• Parking - I’ve been told it’s been pretty rough over there with the construction beginning on the Topperdome, so please, make sure you don’t take up 2-3 spots when you park and try to conserve space where you can. And be careful pulling out of the lot. 

GREAT

• Renee Lantz - Special category goes out to Renee who, from what Jeff has told me, took it upon herself to show up to the fields during the week last week and shoveled dirt into the holes in the fields, and planted grass too. Obviously her title as “TSL Lead Groundskeeper” was well earned. Bravo Renee!

D1

Last Week’s Games:

Sticky Bandits 35, Eyes Downtown 32

Now the suspensions make sense as the evil Jeff Krol puts Sticky in the best position to win and beat Eyes Downtown. 

This Week’s Games:

Eyes Uptown vs Sticky Bandits (EVEN) - Hard to give either team points in this head to head matchup as the Legends will be missing a couple of key players like Sean and Mr. Ground and Pound himself, Mike Boccio. That’s not to say Sticky wouldn’t have competed anyway, as these two teams usually find themselves in one score games. It’ll be another close one, but it’s a way better storyline if the Krol Krew (I hate that) keeps winning over the teams he made shorthanded. STICKY BANDITS BY 7

Eyes Uptown vs Frodo Swaggins (+6) - There’s still a clear divide between Frodo and the rest of D1, but again, it’s MUCH smaller than before. I expect a tight game here as well, but I can’t see the Uptown Girls going 0-2 on any day. EYES UPTOWN BY 4

Eyes Downtown vs Frodo Swaggins (+6) - Same thing for Eyes Downtown here. They’ll play a tight game with Frodo, but at the end of the day, ED will be too much for a Frodo team that just played a game. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 10

D2

Last Week’s Games:

Freeballers 43, Can’t Touch This 20

Mavericks 62, The Untouchaballs 30

Scared Hitless 30, Puckett All-Stars 28

The Untouchaballs 33, Puckett All-Stars 20

The Freeballers look better than ever as they continue to get used to their new QB, beating CTT, but that’s nothing compared to what’s going on with the Cotton Candy Squad that is the Mavericks. They look good and they’re playing even better right now as they dismantled The Untouchaballs. UT would go on to end up 1-1 on the day with a two score win over Puckett, who had lost a nail biter to Scared Hitless earlier. 

This Week’s Games:

Freeballers vs Puckett All-Stars (+3) - Freeballers are slight favorites in this one, as these two teams are still settling in. Dave Eickhoff is doing his best Peyton Manning impression, going from a squad he was the face of for so long (Grey Hair Don’t Care/Colts) and now he’s trying to get a team with past glory over the hump (Freeballers/Broncos). So far so okay. Speaking of So far so okay, PAS is getting a LOT of fanfare and love despite being 0-3. They’re passing the eye test for lots of TSL onlookers. This one should be fun. Every time I pick the Freeballers they let me down, so PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 2

The Untouchaballs vs Can’t Touch This (+7) - It’s not too long ago that CTT was upsetting UT in the regular season that made CTT look like D2 contenders and that it was over for UT. Since then, CTT can’t win and UT are defending D2 champions. Burr, Helm, and company had a slow start last week, but found their groove in game two. CTT is all over the place right now. It doesn’t make sense, I know, but maybe I’m just a sucker for the Ryan/Ryhan couple with the same name power move. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 3

Scared Hitless vs Freeballers (EVEN) - This matchup seems delightful. Scared Hitless are sitting at 2-0, with two two point wins this season. SH has always been up and down, but everything lately has been feeling “up”. They might not be getting enough publicity, and should MAYBE be considered ‘dark horse’ D2 title favorites. A win over the Freeballers would go a long way. SCARED HITLESS BY 2

Mavericks vs The Untouchaballs (+10) - I don’t know what is bothering Burr more right now. That the Mavericks smoked them last week, or that he’s a double digit underdog. Every now and then the schedule makers for the TSL do something right, and we get a highly anticipated rematch where both teams have now shaken off the rust. I don’t expect the Mavericks to score 62 again, and I think the UT will get more than 30 from last week. But it won’t be enough. MAVERICKS BY 8

D3:

Last Week’s Games:

The Malones 48, Bullet Club 39

Practice Squad 33, Jabronies 31

Buffalo Vice 34, Topper’s All-Stars (and Todd!) 25

Keller Whales 33, Let’s Get Reccked 28

The Malones returned to the TSL after losing the D3 title game (some thought they’d move to D2 even!) and picked up mostly where they left off, pulling out a win over Bullet Club. The Jabronies returned to the TSL after a session off (Klecklers only come out in the spring it seems), and they picked up right where they left off, losing to Practice Squad. Buffalo Vice continues to show moving up won’t be an issue for them as they fended off Topper for a win, and then finally the Kellers just keep winning, this time at the expense of LGR. 

This Week’s Games:

Let’s Get Reccked vs Jabronies (+8) - A fun little mini-rivalry game as the players on these two teams have battled back and forth for decades, probably. Both teams want to win this one badly, which can only mean one thing: They’ll tie 28-28. But that’s boring so I’m going to pick a winner and at this point you can’t ignore the talent on LGR’s side of things, so let’s roll with that. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 12

Wanderers vs Topper’s All Stars and Todd (+7) - The Wanderers vs Topper, just one of the best long term storytelling narratives Social Co-Ed football could come up with. However, if you listened to the TSL Podcast, it appears Topper isn’t going to be throwing and will be heading to Florida after the game for what I can only assume will be stem cell therapy to get his body back on track. TASTY hasn’t been bad at all in their return, and it’s a long season, as the bulk of this article made pretty clear earlier. But right now the Wanderers have got things cooking. WANDERERS BY 7

Practice Squad vs Bullet Club (EVEN) - You know how we like talking about Practice Squad’s run from 0-8 to the D3 title? The #1 seed in D3 that season that they upset? Bullet Club. BC is a partially different team from that time (and they’re on their 3rd QB since), and some rough starts to games have put them in a 0-2 hole to start the year. If they can start out how they’ve finished games, they can take this one. BULLET CLUB BY 3

The Malones vs Buffalo Vice (EVEN) - The Malones are essentially an updated version of Buffalo Vice. Throw it deep, throw it far, and let your WRs go get it. This could be a 60-57 final, as both teams have fantastic females as well. This feels like a ‘who blinks first’ type of game. THE MALONES BY 5

D4:

Last Week’s Games:

Passing While Intoxicated 24, Cobblestone 14

Creekers 47, ILF 31

Tater Tots 57, The Roaring 20s 16

Reset Warriors 41, Vaspian 34

PWI returned to the fields this week, and they played a typical PWI game. Use up the clock, play smart, and outscore whoever is across from them. The Creekers figured out how to play football again after a week off, roasting the Lighting Falcons for their first D4 win of the season. The Tots continue to punish whoever lines up against them, nearly putting up 60 on TR20, to move to 2-0. And the Reset Warriors get their first win, beating Vaspian. 

This Week’s Games:

Tater Tots vs Cobblestone (+14) - The “blowout alert” of the week comes at 10am this week as the Hot Tots look to beat up on Cobblestone, who have had a slow start to the season. Darryl Carr QB Superstar , is still looking for his first win of the season, as his teammates continue to let him down, as is usually the case (We know it’s not you Darryl!). I find it hard to believe that win will come against the league’s hottest team. TATER TOTS BY 10

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Passing While Intoxicated (+6) - ILF vs PWI, a game with sneaky underlying “championship preview?” vibes, should be a good one. These teams have put on good games before, and I expect nothing less from them this time out. I’d like to see a little more from PWI this season, and it feels like RIGHT NOW ILF is the better team. That may be different come Week 6 or so, but for now. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 7

Cunning Stunts vs ILF (EVEN) - I’m not writing it all out twice Andrew. The Stunts are back after a week off, and they get a pretty good challenge in ILF, but they’re lucking out since ILF will have just played a game. Everyone and their sister knows what the Stunts are all about, it’ll just come down to if ILF can stop them or not. Despite ILF thinking they’re able to hang with the Stunts, their chickens will be coming home to roost. CUNNING STUNTS BY 12

Cunning Stunts vs PWI (+6) - I’m not writing it all out twice Colorado Mike. Both teams will be playing their second game of the day after playing the same opponent (ILF) earlier in the day. PWI and their defense always gives the ladies fits, it’ll just come down to whether or not PWI can get enough gender TDs to keep up. They can’t. CUNNING STUNTS BY 15

Creekers vs Reset Warriors (+7) - The Creekers snapped out of whatever the issue was for them in Week 1 in a big way, tossing up 47 points on ILF and reassuring Creeker fans everywhere that they’re going to be just fine in D4. The Reset Warriors got their first win ever over Vaspian last week, one week after hanging with the Stunts as well. The Warriors might be the real thing, and a win here for them would truly put them on the map. But, not just yet. CREEKERS BY 4

Vaspian vs The Roaring 20s (+7) - TR20 continues to go through the growing pains that brand new teams experience, but the schedule makers didn’t do them any favors either, giving them ILF and the Tater Tots the first two weeks of the season. Those two teams are arguably the smartest in the division (with the Stunts) so it makes sense why they picked TR20 apart. Vaspian is rolling out a slightly different roster than we’re used to seeing (BRING BACK BRIAN O!) and while they’re gelling, TR20 may be able to sneak one out here. THE ROARING 20s BY 1

D5:

Last Week’s Games:

TMA 38, Two Tuddies 33

Power Puff Girls 42, Not So Sticky 34

Travis Henry’s Kids 49, Come From Behind 14

GUCCI 35, Come From Behind 14

TMA gets their first win in a while, beating the D6 champion Tuddies and keeping them winless in D5 so far. The PPGs had a breakout game of sorts, running all over the NSS crew to get their first win of the season. In the other games, Come From Behind was shorthanded, playing 3 females, AND missing rocket armed handsome QB Paul Lovullo, which means they went 0-2 in their doubleheader against THK and GUCCI. 

This Week’s Games:

Come From Behind vs TMA (+8) - TMA is back on track as they jumped into the win column already this season. That shouldn’t come as a surprise, as long time TMA QB Ryan is still there, and as long as he has the sure handed catch machine that is Ron Webber to go along with the rest of the talented guys there, (and Brent too!) they’ll be just fine. Not to mention they have some talented females who are definitely better than they think they are, and we’ve seen how good TMA can be when they all have confidence. With that said, they get CFB who is stinging from the rough doubleheader from last week, and they’re all going to be focused on righting the ship (provided people show up for them). COME FROM BEHIND BY 2

Stir The Sauce vs Not So Sticky (EVEN) - STS looked every bit the part of a D5 contender in Week 1, but then had Week 2 off so we couldn’t tell if it was a fluke or not. They get Not So Sticky, who might be the toughest team to ever get a read on. A 1pm game could mean they’re more focused on huggie bombs and fun, but they also just might want to win the game too. Naturally they’re 1-1 with a 0 Point differential, so I don’t know what we’re getting from them just yet this season. I’ll assume the huggie bombs and fun. STIR THE SAUCE BY 8

D6:

Last Week’s Games:

Balls Deep 18, Blitzkrieg 16

Back That Pass Up 50, Mighty Drunks 41

Pit Harade 15, Just Joshing 6

Sausage McMuffins 48, Dogg Pound 8

Balls Deep snuck out a win over Blitzkrieg in a hell of a game, one that we could see again in the playoffs. Back That Pass Up had an offensive explosion against the Mighty Drunks, and it’s starting to seem more and more like last year’s playoff run wasn’t a fluke at all. The other D6 teams need to start taking notice. Pit Harade moved to 2-0 with a 15-6 win over Just Joshing where they won only having 5 players. Lastly, the McMuffins gave a rough welcome to the Dogg Pound, beating them by 40. 

This Week’s Games:

Balls Deep vs Pit Harade (EVEN) - D6s two 2-0 teams battle it out for the early season D6 lead. PH beat Balls Deep last season in a very close game, but right now I think BD is the better team. BD is 2-0 beating a much improved BTPU and then getting by “always a bridesmaid but never a bride” in the mix always Blitzkrieg. PH got the two brand new teams in the Dogg Pound and Just Joshing, which hasn’t been the toughest road. Both teams are very good, but Balls Deep is a little more battle tested currently. BALLS DEEP BY 10

Sausage McMuffins vs Blitzkrieg (EVEN) - The McMuffins looked GOOD in Week 2, even though they allowed more points compared to Week 1. Blitzkrieg had a BATTLE with Balls Deep, a week after beating the Sticky Laces. This should be a good game for both sides, and with these teams being in the mix for the #1 seed, this tiebreaker is important. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 8

Blitzkrieg vs Mighty Drunks (EVEN) - The Drunks always continue to confuse me. I never know what to expect from them. A week after a 25-6 win over JJ, they proceeded to throw up 41 points and still lose 50-41 to BTPU. The Drunks may have the widest range of potential outcomes for any game out of all the teams in the TSL. It’s hard to believe in them. It’s not hard to believe in Light Red Hoodie Guy. BLITZKRIEG BY 10

Sausage McMuffins vs Sticky Laces (+7) - Sticky Laces is a “new to the TSL team” but not really a “new team”, so they know what they’re doing. Or at least I think they do. I fully expect them to compete in most games, even if there’s still an adjustment or two to the “TSL” game to be made. I believe the McMuffins are the better team right now, but give the Laces a few more weeks and that could change. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 6

Dogg Pound vs Just Joshing (+6) - Two brand new D6 teams facing off in Week 3? Sounds like an NFL midseason Thursday night football game to me! Wild things are going to happen here. Just Joshing threw approximately 10 interceptions last week despite the other team only having 5 players. Dogg Pound might not be able to throw the ball further than 15 yards. Defense is still being figured out! ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN! Jokes aside, both teams have athletes and this is the game where BOTH sides can really figure things out. Perhaps the TSL should start assigning mentors to help new teams? Could that be a thing? Someone get B’s Brother on the phone! As for the game, the DP feels a little more “on the right track” than JJ, but barely. DOGG POUND BY 1. 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

• How important is seeding for the playoffs anyway? Considering the amount of upsets the TSL has in the playoffs, if you have a shot at a bye week (like in D2 this season) you should work for it. But even in D3, D4, and D6, getting the #1 seed means you’ll be playing the winners of the #8-#9 seed ‘play in’ game, and that’s an advantage of course to play a team that JUST played when you’re fully rested.  

• What current first place team and current last place team won’t be there when the playoffs come? The Tater Tots are hot right now, but there’s a lot of talent in that division, and they could dip around the #3 seed come playoff time in D4. I think it goes without saying that Come From Behind won’t end up as the #8 seed in D5. 

• What’s one of the most interesting subplots of Week 3? I actually think it has to be the D4 Triple Threat match that’s happening between ILF, PWI, and the Stunts. All three of these teams have title aspirations, and they’re all legit. Any team that can come out 2-0 (and maybe even look dominant in doing so) establishes themselves as the team to beat in D4. 

• Any other teams that can benefit from a big Week 3? Blitzkrieg may have lost to Balls Deep, but going 2-0 against the Drunks and the McMuffins rocket them right back up the standings. The Untouchaballs getting their win back in a big way over the Mavericks would establish them as still the team to beat. 

• What happens if the bird attacks us this week? Don’t attack the bird! Let it be, and just avoid the nest area so you don’t have to fight it. You won’t win. 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

• Breakfast Club seems to be highly competitive which is always good for everyone. Nothing is worse than when BC has a team that is too good or too bad. 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• Dri’s Company 40, Jeneva Conventions 30

• Steph Infection 37, Breakfast Club (Trish’s Version) 34

• Mistymeanors 34, D’s Nutz 30

• Games of the Week: 

• 10:00 - Balls Deep vs Pit Harade

• 11:00 - Bullet Club vs Practice Squad

• 12:00 - ILF vs PWI

• 1:00 - The Untouchaballs vs Can’t Touch This

• 2:00 - Freeballers vs Scared Hitless

• 3:00 - Creekers vs Reset Warriors

• We have a full slate of games this week, so do your best to get to the fields early so that we don’t let any field get too far behind in terms of time. 

• It seems that rain is in the forecast for more of the afternoon games, but it’ll be about 63 degrees, which is perfect football weather. 

• Three teams that need a win this week: Bullet Club, Toppers All-Stars and Todd, Come From Behind

• For the last time, make sure everyone on your team has signed a waiver. Don’t get mad when the Krol Patrol kicks people who didn’t do it off your field. 

• I wonder if the TSL is going to have the Animal Shelter bring some dogs again, I heard that was a big hit. 

• Remember that there are a lot of new teams, refs, and players out there, so try not to freak out on them for making mistakes or anything like that. The best part of the TSL Family is the ‘family’ portion, so make them feel welcome. 

• If you want to shout out and get some sweet publicity for your team, or spotlight a player on your team that’s doing amazing, OR if you want to argue with me about whatever I said here, continue to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. , I’d love to hear from you. 

Week 3 is upon us, it's time to start finding out who you really are. 

-GF OUT

WEEK 1 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 26 April 2024 13:20

Published: Friday, 26 April 2024 13:20

Written by Jeff Krol

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe: We’re back. After a LONG six months and one week, the greatest social co-ed football league in existence, the TSL, has returned to the Lenny Alba fields at the Rose Garden! No offense of course to the indoor TSL league, but there’s just something about being outside in the elements, at the Rose Garden, and having football during the day that just makes things special. 

You know what else is special? Topper. That’s right kids, Patrick McGovern has been rebuilt, and he is making his long awaited return to the fields this season in D3. While lots of women may disagree, Topper just makes everything better. 

And on April 27th, in the Year of Our Lord 2024, we will have 52 teams across 7 divisions come to the starting line as the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality will begin! And what do we have in store this time around? Well, Breakfast Club is back at its more comfortable 6 teams, and it’s CHOCK FULL of newer TSLers who are looking to make a name for themselves in the league. D1 only has 4 teams, which is a little meh, but you know the football is going to be great. D2 is at 6 highly competitive teams where just about anyone can win besides the Freeballers (and yes I know they have Sean on the team now). D3 is looking to be where it’s at, as 9 teams will battle things out. D3 was highly competitive last season, and while adding Topper to the mix doesn’t necessarily help that, adding recent D3 champs Practice Squad back to the mix certainly does. D4 looks mostly competitive, as there are 9 teams (including some new ones!) looking to take the crown. D5 has 8 familiar faces looking to do battle (that includes you, Stir The Sauce, who looks a lot like the Woodpeckers on paper). And then there’s D6, with 10 teams complete with returning teams from last season, returning teams from long ago, and new teams too! 

The point is that this Spring, anything can (and probably will) happen. It’s going to be an absolute blast seeing it all play out, but if you’re here for Championship spoilers, you should keep reading. 

D1:

Odds To Win The Championship:

Eyes Downtown (3-1)

Eyes Uptown (3-1)

Sticky Bandits (5-1)

Frodo Swaggins (15-1)

Preseason Hype: Four teams is hard to get too hyped about but at least they’re four good ones. Eyes Downtown returns their championship squad, and they’re the co-favorites to do it again. The other Co-favorite are the Legends, who decided to name the team Eyes Uptown for very obvious trolling reasons. Apparently there’s a “who will Chris Nelson play for?” decision still looming that could turn the tide one way or the other! Sticky Bandits return with the usual suspects here to play, and as always, they can upset either of the “favorites” in this division. They added Maggie LaMantia to their squad of girls, and it’s hard not to consider that an upgrade. Frodo Swaggins returns as well, and while they are a ‘step down’ from the other teams in the division, you can’t sleep on them either. They lost some players to other teams, BUT Garrett added Malikye from Losing Streak (RIP) and Sal from Wanderers, so they got some really nice replacements. They’re getting better every time they take the field and they could very well surprise some people this season. 

Preseason Prediction: Eyes Downtown repeats as champs, winning another absolute battle against Eyes Uptown. 

This Week’s Games:

Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+7) - An early season matchup to kick things off for both teams who will be looking to start the season out “right’ with a win. I think it’ll be close, but Sticky has had a lot more familiarity and I believe they played in the indoor session and Frodo didn’t, which gives them an advantage. STICKY BANDITS BY 10

Eyes Downtown vs Eyes Uptown (EVEN) - There isn’t much to say here, other than the two best teams in the league are going to kick off the season right where they left off in the fall - battling each other in what should be a fantastic game. As if this blood feud of sorts didn’t need to get any more personal, Legends had to make a troll team name that you KNOW just has Bobby fuming. Every time these two play is must watch football, assuming both rosters show up. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 1

D2:

Odds To Win The Championship:

Mavericks (5-1)

Freeballers (6-1)

The Untouchaballs (10-1)

Scared Hitless (10-1)

Can’t Touch This (12-1)

Puckett All-Stars (15-1)

Preseason Hype: D2 is quite the new look division, and even though the names are mostly the same, the teams have all added some firepower in different ways. The Mavericks jump out to the top of the odds because while Jordan isn’t going to be focused on Losing Streak as much, he was smart enough to bring Stoner Dave and Misty with him to the team. The Mavericks were always so close to putting it all together, and I think these additions will do exactly that. The Freeballers aren’t really the Freeballers anymore. I mean, a lot of the same faces are there, but after losing Brit Clarke and Talia to cute little ones they show up with not only a handful of new ladies, but Dave Eickhoff of Grey Hair Don’t Care fame is now lining up at QB for them. And of course, Sean Weisensal returns to D2 where he’s been essentially a cheat code for whoever has him. As much fun as joking about the Freeballers has been for me over the years, I think they’re for real this time around. The Untouchaballs didn’t have to move up to D1 because not only would they lose Mel to Legends, she’s not even on the squad at all this year, opting to play for a ladies team. While they did a decent job of replacing her with Nina, the Untouchaballs are going to look slightly different this year regardless. But they have Jeremy Burr, so they’ll never ever be out of a game. Scared Hitless brings back largely the same team, but they’ve added Travis to the team. Travis is a good player of course, but with another future TSLer on the way I’ve been told he’s giving up captaining teams and just wants to play. Good for him. Can’t Touch This is also mostly the same team, but there’s not much more they really need other than a little consistency. They’re a dark horse here for sure. And lastly, Puckett All-Stars, yes THOSE Puckett All-Stars make the jump up to D2 from D4 as they added THREE very good players from Frodo, and in doing so they’re looking to do some damage in D2. They’ll be a very interesting story for the D2 season for sure. 

Preseason Prediction: Sean carries the Freeballers to a D2 title over the Untouchaballs in a game that goes down to the wire. 

This Week’s Games:

Can’t Touch This vs Scared Hitless (EVEN) - This should be a heck of a contest between two evenly matched teams. Both teams have played together for a long time, so it should be pretty interesting to see who shakes off the rust first. CTT always seems to start seasons off really well though. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 6

Mavericks vs Freeballers (+3) - I don’t know if this is a rivalry game, but it feels like it could be one. Of course, when the magnificent Mike Burke is involved, it feels impossible to use the word rival. Anyway, with Jordan’s team having more familiarity with each other, I think we can look towards them taking advantage of that. MAVERICKS BY 8

Mavericks vs Puckett All-Stars (+7) - I’m not saying that Puckett isn’t going to be good in D2, but this has all the makings of a “team adjusting to a higher division while also getting used to new players being involved” type of loss where everyone overreacts and they’ll be +20 underdogs next week. MAVERICKS BY 12

D3:

Odds To Win The Championship:

The Malones (3-1) 

Wanderers (4-1)

Bullet Club (4-1)

Keller Whales (4-1)

Let’s Get Reccked (5-1)

Jabronies (5-1)

Buffalo Vice (7-1)

Practice Squad (10-1)

Topper All-Stars & Todd (15-1)

Preseason Hype: D3 continues to boast about being the division where the most teams have the chance to win it all, and as a result, continues to be the most exciting division in Social Co-Ed Football. The Malones make a “worst to first” jump in our rankings as they went from unknown to ‘quite known’ in the Fall season, putting points up on every team they faced off against, and having Rhace Colon tell the world just how good they are. While the rest of the team may prefer having someone else be the face of the franchise, that’s not how things work here, and Rhace and Co. have the slight inside track to take the title. The Wanderers went a little off the beaten path and added an outsider to their ranks, getting Stoner Dave to join up with the rest of the crew. Frank was heard saying “We had to get a real WR 1 to truly compete, and we know Sal isn’t that guy.” More on this story as it develops. Bullet Club stays largely the same, with one notable addition. Joe K has decided to double down on the “when you’ve got two QBs, you really have none” mantra, adding a third (a 4th if you count Tommy Hughes) QB to the mix with Dylan Jaloza battling for reps alongside John Langley and Jeff Easton. The Keller Whales seem mostly unchanged this season, including their team name which historically changes every spring. Scott Jr proceeds to get less creative as he gets older. Look for Damien Keller to take another step in his development at QB, because if he doesn’t, he’s grounded. Let’s Get Reccked returns, but they’re stronger than ever as they add Garrett Beesing along with Corey Santo and Molly Morgan-Santo. LGR is going to be quite a tough out. The Jabronies return for their usual spring fling in the TSL, and they’re exactly what you think they’d be. Joe Miano throwing, robbing us of Bro’s magical arm gracing the fields again (can’t SOMEONE put Tight Ends back together again? D1 is ripe for the picking, and you have ALL of the pieces for TEIM scattered about the TSL already.), Eric Klecker side-eying potted plants, and some sneaky good females that don’t get enough publicity ready to roll. Buffalo Vice is making the jump up from D4 after spending the last 47 seasons chasing a title there. It’ll be interesting to see if the “Andy throws it really f’ing far and a Gonzalez (or Frank Pizza!) catches it or Andy reluctantly throws it less than 40 yards in the air to Caitlyn Mason and she jukes out the opposing team into submission” offense works in D3. Practice Squad comes back to D3 after a less than stellar foray into D2, but at least they gave it the ol’ college try. Usually, when a team remains largely the same and goes back to a division they’ve already won, they tend to be favorites to win it again. The problem is that PS won D3, but if memory serves me correctly they were the 8th seed and (I believe) 0-8 going into the playoffs that season before getting red hot and winning it all. They didn’t do enough in D2 to really make me think they’ll come back and dominate D3, so it’ll be interesting to see what happens here. And lastly, we have Team Topper. Sorry, but placing a brand new old person team into a competitive division with their hopes resting on the surgically repaired shoulder of an over the hill waiter/quarterback doesn’t seem like the recipe for victory. Topper, you start at the bottom and you get to prove me wrong my old friend. The entire league is going to pay close attention to you doing so. 

Preseason Prediction: The Topper All-Stars & Todd run roughshod through the Wanderers as the man who started the greatest football league in the universe symbolically dismantles the gold standard for his rivals, as things always have been and always shall be. 

This Week’s Games:

Wanderers vs Buffalo Vice (+10) - A very nice “Welcome to D3” test for Buffalo Vice as they get the always talented, always fun to play Wanderers to kick off the season. Vice may be able to score quickly, as they do, but anyone who’s watched the Wanderers know that they involve everyone, use all 6 downs, and slow the game way, way down. They’re very hard to stop, and if Vice makes any mistakes, they’re going to be in trouble. WANDERERS BY 4 AS THEY SCORE WITH NEARLY NO TIME LEFT TO WIN

Topper All-Stars & Todd vs Practice Squad (+3) - The amount of rust that is going to be shaken off here collectively might set a World Record. This is the perfect opponent for Topper’s return (get used to Topper references here, it’s a big deal) to see if he’s “up to snuff”. Once we see him overthrow a wide open Aaron for the first time, then we’ll truly know he’s back. TEAM TOPPER BY 3

Keller Whales vs Buffalo Vice (+8) - Vice starts off the year with a double header, and in D3 that’s never a good thing, as both games will be tough. The Whales will be in this game the entire time, and as long as they’re firing on all cylinders to start, they’ll be in control for this one. I like to think they’ll start slow though, and with Vice being warm from the first game, they’ll take the mild upset. BUFFALO VICE BY 3

Wanderers vs Let’s Get Reccked (EVEN) - LGR gets a Wanderers team coming off of a game against Vice earlier on, but I think that actually helps the Wanderers more here. LGR is quite talented, of that I’m sure, but with some new pieces and not enough alcohol in their system with an earlier game, one has to wonder if they’ll be up for the task at hand? WANDERERS BY 3

Keller Whales vs Practice Squad (+8) - Double header city for the D3 teams this week it seems! The Whales take on Practice Squad in both teams’ second game. I need to see it from the Squad before I can start picking them this year. KELLER WHALES BY 7

Bullet Club vs Let’s Get Reccked (EVEN) - Bullet Club gets LGR in their first game of the season, and these two teams historically play each other pretty closely. While it’ll be interesting to see who the BC QB will be, I think LGR having just played a game together will give them the advantage as well. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 7

D4:

Odds To Win The Championship:

Cunning Stunts (2-1)

Passing While Intoxicated (6-1)

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (6-1)

Cobblestone (8-1)

Creekers (10-1)

Vaspian (12-1)

Tater Tots (15-1)

The Roaring 20’s (20-1)

Reset Warriors (22-1)

Preseason Hype: The Cunning Stunts remain the class of D4, as they’re always difficult to take down, and they remain the favorites. Even when you think they took a step back (in this case, losing Katie Salisbury who’s busy playing tackle football yet again), they simply adjust on the fly and perhaps get even better (No Katie? Okay, Mel Linsmair takes her place.). PWI returns the same lovable bunch of gamers out there (with maybe one or two new to the cause) and you know they’ll be in every game. ILF has changed their jersey color but not their awful name, as Team Kicak is bringing back the usual suspects for their bid to win the D4 title. Cobblestone lost the D5 title game last year and Darryl Carr QB Superstar just said “screw it, we’ll go up anyway”, bringing along most of the same guys but I believe he’s got a handful of new ladies this season. The Creekers made the jump up to D4 after winning D5, and they’re largely the same squad despite the loss of Missy Keem who brought them into the league, but now it seems can no longer play which is always a bummer to hear. Vaspian drops down from D3, and for good reason. They lost Drew and Brian to various reasons (see: Topper and Marriage) but they were proactive and made some signings along the way, including some of Spinelli’s Plumbing who aren’t with us this season. The Tater Tots made a jump up into D4, as their never ending search for a QB ended with B joining the squad. Despite being told they can stay in D5 if they wish, Drunk Meg’s Husband decided he’d like the challenge of D4. Shout out to him for not running from competition. Speaking of not running from competition, The Roaring 20’s are a team of brand new people who signed up and went straight to D1, wanting to play with the best the TSL has to offer. While badass, Jeff Krol (presumably wanting to avoid a “The Replacements” situation from a few years ago where a new team joins a division they weren’t ready for, gets demolished every single week, and hasn’t been seen again since) talked them down into starting in D4 and seeing how things go. They feel themselves though, and that’s never a bad thing here in the TSL. Lastly, we have the Reset Warriors, a new team led by Shirtless Chris, his sister Shirted Cara, and his brother “Possibly Shirtless?” Mike put together a new squad to see how they’ll fare. While there’s rumors they’re going to go “skins” every game, it’s going to be interesting to see how they perform on the field as well. Good luck to them. 

Preseason Prediction: ILF will take the D4 title because Becca will more than likely miss Championship Week for some terrible reason over the Cunning Stunts in the finals. 

This Week’s Games:

Creekers vs Tater Tots (+7) - While this is both teams’ first game in D4, it won’t be too great of a barometer for how either will fare in the division. It feels like the perfect set up for a Tater Tots “we did some good things, we just need some time to get on the same page” early season loss for a team with a new QB. CREEKERS BY 10

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs The Roaring 20’s (+10) - It’s a simple case of brand new team vs long term team that hasn’t changed much in their existence. ILF admittedly keeps looking like they’re building something special, and this feels like an even bigger breakout season than they’ve had before. I’m sure I just doomed them to lose by 20, but since I have no idea who TR20 is, I’ll go with the “known”. ILF BY 13

Cunning Stunts vs Reset Warriors (+16) - Shirts or not, The Reset Warriors drawing the Stunts in their first game is just cruel. The scheduling gods did them no favors to start. CUNNING STUNTS BY 20

Cobblestone vs The Roaring 20s (+6) - TR20 gets a world class, first ballot, sure fire TSL Hall of Famer in Darryl Carr QB Superstar on their first day? How lucky are they? They’ll get to learn from one of the best to ever do it, which can only make them stronger for the rest of the season. COBBLESTONE BY 10

D5:

Odds To Win The Championship:

Travis Henry’s Kids (3-1)

GUCCI (4-1)

Come From Behind (5-1)

Power Puff Girls (8-1)

TMA (12-1)

Not So Sticky (15-1)

Stir The Sauce (18-1)

Two Tuddies (20-1)

Preseason Hype: Yes, you’re reading this correctly. THK, or more aptly John Langley, couldn’t get it done in D4, so he’s begged the ‘powers that be’ to put him in D5 where he belongs. THK remains largely the same otherwise, as Langley will have Pete and Aaron to throw to, which almost feels unfair in D5. But I guess Stella needs to get his groove back somehow. GUCCI returns mostly intact, only losing Chris Wolcott who chose to stay with the Tuddies. While playoff success has eluded GUCCI, Kelly Kane and company will once again be in the mix to win the whole thing come June. Come From Behind is back yet again, and they’ll be scoring touchdowns and slamming drinks at the bar. They’re another perennial contender, and I can’t imagine them not having a say in the title race. The Power Puff Girls are a Father Baker remix, ditching Dave Baker (who never showed up for them anyway, jerk) for Kyle Conniff, and dropping a division as well as the ladies work out the kinks that made life tough for them last season. TMA joins the PPG and THK in dropping down a division, as last season’s “Boccio experiment” went not so great. With Boccio back in D1, and Diana off to grow Boccio 2.0, TMA continues to look a little different every season as it has for the last few seasons now. One of the best teams to play against, you know you’ll see them at the bar and having fun all over the place. Hopefully this works out a bit better for them. Not So Sticky is on the revenge tour after Carly Reeb was a big jerk and ditched them for the Jabronies. You know what you’re getting with NSS: Huggie Bombs, Trick Plays, and a lot of fun. Stir The Sauce is a Woodpeckers Remix team from a few seasons ago, with a lot of old faces making their return to the league. And finally we have the Tud Buds, as the Two Tuddies moved up to D5 after taking the D6 title last season. They have pretty much the same team as the championship squad from last year, not sure how they’re going to do against the tougher competition. 

Preseason Prediction: I think we’ll see THK show why they should’ve stayed in D4, winning the title over Come From Behind. 

This Week’s Games:

Stir The Sauce vs TMA (EVEN) - When we last saw the Woodpeckers, they were doing quite well in the league, and STS looks to continue that tradition. They get their first shot playing against TMA, the wily and plucky veterans. At the end of the day, with TMA losing all of their tall guys, I don’t think there’s anyone that can cover Dan Farinacci, and that’s all she wrote. STIR THE SAUCE BY 12

Not So Sticky vs Two Tuddies (EVEN) - If I recall, these two had a close game that ended in wrestling finishing moves being done on each other not too long ago. Either way, the Tuddies have grown leaps and bounds since then, and Not So Sticky is still, well, the same. This is going to be a fun, light hearted affair which is the perfect way to start the season. TWO TUDDIES BY 1

GUCCI vs Stir The Sauce (+10) - STS gets a much harder draw in Game 2, taking on a GUCCI squad that’s been one of the division’s best for the last few seasons. This game will tell if STS is going to be one of the division’s elite or not. Keep stirring. GUCCI BY 14

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Power Puff Girls (+13) - The biggest part of Father Baker’s issues last season was defense. It’s hard for any gender team to immediately figure out what they’re doing on that side of the ball when most females are used to rushing or playing the wing. It takes reps to get to “Cunning Stunts” levels of play on defense. Meanwhile, the ladies have to figure out how to stop Pistol Pete and Aaron from high pointing the ball again, and again, and again. Not an ideal first week matchup for the PPGs. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 17

D6:

Odds To Win The Championship:

Blitzkrieg (3-1)

Pit Harade (4-1)

Sausage McMuffins (6-1)

Mighty Drunks (6-1)

Balls Deep (6-1)

Sticky Laces (10-1)

Back That Pass Up (12-1)

Dogg Pound (12-1)

Dark Knights (12-1)

Just Joshing (12-1)

Sticky Laces (12-1)

Preseason Hype: When a division has 4 brand new teams, it’s hard to accurately give them proper odds. As a result, all 4 of the new teams get tied for the longest odds with Back That Pass Up, who were not very great last season, but either way they represent “the bar” for these new teams, with the exception being Sticky Laces who have slightly better odds. The midseason odds will be a lot better, I’m sure. While there won’t be much for me to say about the Dogg Pound, Dark Knights (who are a returning franchise with Andy Goldyn, but the rest are completely new?) and Just Joshing, hopefully they’ll take a second to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and say hello so I can learn who they are and what they’re about. The Sticky Laces have Sticky DNA from the Sticky Family Tree, so at the VERY least you know they can play football. There are some recognizable names from Social Co-Ed Football, so I’m thinking they’ll have a leg up on the rest of the competition. Back That Pass Up, who I mentioned earlier, is running it back again with Alex Lee at QB and James T. Hearn there to catch everything thrown his way. Hopefully the rest of them got a little better or it could be another long season for them. Starting back at the top, Blitzkrieg is here, and it's Spring, so that should mean that Alex is back at QB. Light Red Hoodie Guy (and Light Red Hoodie Imposter Guy) seem to be back as well as the other characters. And looking at the roster, I see Allie Metzger there?!? Allie was a superstar a few seasons ago before her knee had other ideas. If she’s back back, Blitzkrieg just gained a valuable weapon. But more than likely I’ll get an email from BK letting me know it's a “just in case she can play a game or two” scenario. Either way, BK stays the team to beat. Pit Harade returns after a successful season last year that saw Rayanna Andersen walk away as Female of the Year and Sam Pezzino get nominated for Male of the year in D6. Tall Bearded Guy is always a force to be reckoned with. The questions remain at QB: is Dave Walter throwing, is Gordon? Is it Ray? Either way, they look to be more dangerous than last season. The McMuffins are back, and so are the best jerseys in the league. SMM had a bit of an up and down season last year, kind of tailing off near the end of it. I believe Alex has his team a bit more focused and they’re a “dark horse” team to watch this season, if you can call them that. The Mighty Drunks are all over the place historically. Some weeks, they seem like they should be in D4, others, they seem like they should be in Mile. When they’re on though, look out. Lastly, Balls Deep returns the same squad from last season it seems, and once again they feel like an afterthought. Last season they took D6 a little bit by storm, pulling “upsets” on teams thought to be better than they were. There isn’t a team on here that Balls Deep can’t beat, and with some more consistency overall, a championship isn’t that unrealistic. 

Preseason Prediction: Blitzkrieg finally does this thing (I HAVE to be right some time, don’t I?) and beats Pit Harade in the championship. 

This Week’s Games:

Balls Deep vs Back That Pass Up (+10) - Balls Deep gets a chance right out of the gate to show everyone why they belong with the contenders. BTPU gets a chance right out of the gate to show that they’re improved from last season. It’s an intriguing Week 1 matchup for sure. I just don’t see how BTPU improved that much right now. BALLS DEEP BY 12

Blitzkrieg vs Sticky Laces (+8) - BK begins its 14th annual “this is the year I swear” campaign taking on a new team to the TSL in Sticky Laces. As always, I’m leery of any “Sticky” team, which constantly proves that at the very least, again, they know the game. I can’t imagine BK gets upset right away though. BLITZKRIEG BY 10

Pit Harade vs Dogg Pound (+10) - I have no idea what to expect from the Dogg Pound, but Pit Harade was one of the better D6 teams last season, and with everyone back for them I’d wager it’ll be hard for a brand new team to get the hang of things right away. PIT HARADE BY 17

Mighty Drunks vs Just Joshing (+10) - I have no idea what to expect from Just Joshing, but the Mighty Drunks were one of the better D6 teams last season, and with everyone back for them I’d wager it’ll be hard for a brand new team to get the hang of things right away. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 17

Sausage McMuffins vs Dark Knights (+10) - I have no idea what to expect from the Dark Knights, but the McMuffins were one of the better D6 teams last season, and with everyone back for them I’d wager it’ll be hard for a brand new team to get the hang of things right away. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 17

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

• Is Topper REALLY back or is all smoke and mirrors? I assure you, Topper has returned, and when you see him, buy that man a drink. He no longer does shots because he’s old, but he’s still available for beer and wine. When you buy him a drink, take a picture, and send it to Jeff Krol who will then have the entire collage posted on Facebook ASAP. 

• Why are there only four fields? I swear to you, the Rose Garden is FINALLY about to start construction on the Topperdome, and while they haven’t actually done anything building wise, they’ve proceeded to cut down some trees and push the fields back a bit to make room for the work they’re going to be doing. There’s supposed to be 5 fields this fall! 

• What division is shaping up to be the best one? All of them? Can I say that? While D1 is too small to really be considered, D2 and D3 truly feel like anyone can win them. D5 feels that way too. If these new teams work out in D6, that can be wild as well. This might be the most competitive overall the TSL has been in quite some time. Picking obvious favorites doesn’t seem possible, honestly. 

• Wait, construction? What will that do for parking? Good question! Once the Rose Garden actually starts building the Topperdome, parking is going to be, well, difficult. The league is preparing “parking plans” with the bar as we speak, details will become available once we have them! 

• Why didn’t you talk about my team more here? Because I don’t know who you are. We have a lot of new teams (league growth is good!) and that’s fantastic but if you (or your captain) don’t reach out to me, and my spies at the fields don’t tell me about your team, I can’t do much until you do. Please remember that I live in a log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa and unless I get an email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. from you, I can’t talk about you! I want to, trust me. 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

• Despite the league starting a week later than normal, the weather doesn’t seem to want to cooperate. The Buffalo weather is looking to be 63 degrees (yay!) but it looks like it’ll rain on and off all day (boo!). 

• Breakfast Club is back up to 6 teams, but remember that it starts next week! 

• Three “underdog” teams I think can win their respective championships: Sticky Bandits, Scared Hitless, and the Power Puff Girls.

• While emailing me is the best way for ME to write about your team, you should also know that we have a TSL podcast! Joe K, Becca, sometimes Jeff Krol, and others do a weekly show where they discuss the last week’s games and interview someone from the league. Give it a listen, and you can be on an episode too! (With Topper back, there may be a show or two from Topper’s Poolside Cabana as well.)

• Sign the waiver if you haven’t yet. Jeff Krol is an insane crazy person who will personally hunt you down if you didn’t do it already. The link is right here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1NqaQgYi1a2Sr-vlV_Nab-G7gIJhM3fE0O_xWzK0s5P0/edit . Just do it and make your teammates do it too. 

• Some important dates for the season: June 8th is Lenny and Rameer Day. If you’re going to pick a day to stay at the fields from 9am until close, this is the one. Come join us as we celebrate two of the most influential people of the TSL, who we miss every single day. 

• If you have an idea for something cool for the league, the website, the podcast, the bar, ANYTHING, feel free to find Jeff Krol, Topper (he’s back on the board, whether he likes it or not), Joe K, Garrett, or Bs Brother and let them know asap. We’re always open to hearing about new ideas that make the league more fun.

• Remember, you can’t use subs in the playoffs, so if you’re walking around with some open roster spots, find some people to fill them just in case the playoffs come and all of a sudden Johnny, Billy, Susie, Maria, and Kevin all can’t show up even though they knew playoffs were June 22nd and 29th way ahead of time. A warm body is better than playing with only 5 players. (Ignore that teams won playoff games with only 5 players last season, thank you).

• The Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Creekers vs Tater Tots

• 11:00 - Practice Squad vs Topper’s All-Stars and Todd

• 12:00 - Bullet Club vs Let’s Get Reccked

• 1:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Eyes Uptown

• 2:00 - Freeballers vs Mavericks

• 3:00 - Cobblestone vs The Roaring 20s

• Make sure you stop by the bar to start making new friends and having a blast out there. The more people you know in this league, the better it gets. The TSL is responsible for so many marriages, babies, divorces, court appearances, Friendsgivings, massive group sing-a-longs, dunk tanks, and so much more that you’re doing yourself a disservice if you don’t come hang out for a bit! 

And with that, the TSL Spring 2024 season is underway! Good luck to everyone this weekend at the fields and buy Topper a drink or three! 

-GF OUT